In this collection of vignettes by a well-known humorist, one gets a sharp, knowing depiction of Midwestern U.S. life during the Great Depression – and finds the literary basis for one of the best-loved Christmas films of all time: Canadian director Bob Clark’s A Christmas Story (1983). Fans of the film should be aware that not all of the stories told in Jean Shepherd’s 1966 book In God We Trust: All Others Pay Cash necessarily have a Christmas connection; but that reality should not prevent readers from enjoying these stories that use wild exaggeration to convey the hyperbolic qualities of a child’s imagination.
Jean Shepherd grew up in the industrial city of Hammond, in northern Indiana. He attended Indiana University, served in the U.S. Army during the Second World War, and after the war found his way into radio, where his mellifluous voice and his gift for storytelling secured him a loyal following on Chicago-area radio stations. His radio stories, as it turned out, translated well to the printed page – and, ultimately, to cinema.
The narrative frame for In God We Trust: All Others Pay Cash centers around Ralph Parker (the fictional stand-in for author Shepherd). Ralph, who is now a New York City author, has travelled back to his hometown of Hohman, Indiana, to write about life there. As Ralph puts it, he has been given the task of writing a piece “for an Official magazine on The Return Of The Native To The Indiana Mill Town” (p. 18). He makes his way to a bar that is owned by his boyhood friend Flick; and as Ralph and Flick drink and reminisce over the course of a day, a series of stories of their boyhood life in Hohman flow forth.
The chapter “Duel in the Snow, or Red Ryder Nails the Cleveland Street Kid” may be of greatest interest to fans of A Christmas Story. It is a delightful paean to “Lovely, beautiful, glorious Christmas, around which the entire year revolved” (p. 26) – and many of the beloved features of the film are to be found here. Young Ralphie wants a BB gun for Christmas, but Ralph’s mother is concerned that “You’ll shoot out one of your eyes” (p. 30). Similarly, the local department-store Santa Claus, enthroned upon an elevated throne next to a red chute down which children slide after they have stated their Christmas wishes, responds to Ralphie’s request for a BB gun by stating that “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid! Ho-ho-ho! Merry Christmas!” (p. 38), before sending Ralphie down the red chute. Ralphie fulfills an elementary-school language-arts assignment by writing about how he wants that BB gun for Christmas; he gets a B (rather than a C-plus, as in the movie), and his teacher, Miss Bodkin, notes in the margin that “You’ll shoot your eye out. Merry Christmas” (p. 40).
When Christmas comes, there are the horrors attendant upon Ralphie’s having to open his present from his Aunt Clara, who “had for years labored under the delusion that I was not only perpetually four years old but also a girl” (p. 42). Luckily for the novelistic version of Ralph Parker, Aunt Clara’s gift is only “A pair of fuzzy, pink, cross-eyed, lop-eared bunny slippers” (p. 42), rather than a full-fledged pink bunny suit as in the movie. And Ralph eventually gets his BB gun for Christmas, only to suffer an unexpected injury as a result. It’s all there, Christmas Story fans.
Chapter IV – “The Counterfeit Secret Circle Member Gets the Message, or The Asp Strikes Again” – includes another Christmas Story staple: young Ralphie’s anxious wait for his Little Orphan Annie decoder ring, so he can decode the “secret messages” that are broadcast during his favorite radio show. We learn a bit more in the book than we do in the movie about the Little Orphan Annie show that Ralph so loves – for instance, that Little Orphan Annie “had this friend named The Asp, who whenever she was really in a tight spot would just show up and cut everybody’s head off. I figured that if there was anything a kid of seven needed, it was somebody named The Asp – especially in our neighborhood” (p. 51).
As in A Christmas Story, Ralphie eventually gets his decoder ring, and gets to decode the secret message on a broadcast of Little Orphan Annie – only to find that the secret message is an Ovaltine commercial. The grown-up Ralph recalls how “I sat for a long moment…staring down at my Indian Chief notebook. A crummy commercial!” A sadder and wiser Ralph “pulled up my corduroy knickers and went out to face the meat loaf and the red cabbage. The Asp had claimed another victim” (p. 56).
In “My Old Man and the Lascivious Special Award That Heralded the Birth of Pop Art,” an ill-fated attempt by the adult Ralph to gain the interest of a pretty young lady at New York City’s Museum of Modern Art takes him back, in imagination, to another Christmas Story highlight – a time from his Indiana childhood when his father won a major award that turned out to be a lamp shaped like “a life-size lady’s leg, in true blushing-pink flesh tones and wearing a modish black patent leather pump with spike heel” (p. 90). This lamp –loved as a symbol of victory by Ralph’s father, despised as a profanation of the family home by Ralph’s mother – leads to what the grown-up Ralph describes as “the greatest single fight that ever happened in our family” (p. 94), and admirers of A Christmas Story may enjoy seeing how the “Battle of the Lamp” is set forth in greater detail and nuance than what one sees in the film.
“Grover Dill and the Tasmanian Devil” shows Ralph fighting back against, and defeating, the local bully. In the movie, the bully is Scut Farkas with his “yellow eyes”; here, the bully is Grover Dill, Scut Farkas’ “toady” from the film. The story has its introduction when Flick points out to Ralph that the grown-up Dill, now a perpetually drunk and quarrelsome ironworker, is one of the regular customers at Flick’s tavern. Ralph frames the story of the fight by discussing how he saw a picture of a Tasmanian devil in a nature magazine and immediately saw it as an authentic representation of “that ravening Carnivore, that incorrigibly wild, insane, scurrying little beast – the Killer that is in each one of us” (p. 112).
From there, we are led into the story of how, tripped by Dill on an otherwise ordinary day, Ralph unexpectedly lost his temper, attacked Dill, and got the better of him in a street fight. Ralph recalls that Dill “fought back like a fiend! But I guess it was the first time he had ever met face to face with an unleashed Tasmanian Devil” (p. 116). He further reflects that during the fight “I had woven a tapestry of obscenity that as far as I know is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan”, and concludes by describing how “I learned then that Bravery does not exist – just a kind of latent Nuttiness” (p. 118). As in the film, Ralph’s fears that he will face dire parental punishment for his outbreak of violence turn out to be unjustified, and a new understanding develops between Ralph and his mother as a result.
The closest thing to the “King of Cusses” episode from the film occurs in a chapter wherein Ralph hears a ribald story told by his Uncle Ben, repeats it to his friend Casmir, and is then questioned about it by his mother:
“Were you just out with Casmir? By the fence?”
“Yah…yeah, we were playing, we didn’t do nothing!” I said.
“Now, wait a minute. Do you know what this word means?” And she says this word – which, by the way, to this day I have never again heard my mother use.
“Yeah, yeah, I know – ah…” Long pause.
“What does it mean?”
“Ah – well, it’s about a Hockey thing there.”
“Oh, I see.” (p. 150)
It’s clear enough what word Ralph used! Ralph overhears his mother assuring Casmir’s mother that “I don’t think either of them know what it means” (p. 151), and later on Ralph’s father and mother have a good laugh over the whole episode. In contrast with the movie, no one’s mouth is washed out with Lifebuoy soap.
Similar themes – of the elusive and ambiguous qualities of language, and of young people coming to terms with the rules and norms of adulthood – characterize “Miss Bryfogel and the Frightening Case of the Speckle-Throated Cuckold.” In this vignette, Ralphie, who has a crush on his pretty young English teacher Miss Bryfogel, dreams of writing a book report that will separate him from his classmates. In his parents’ room, Ralph finds a book that he believes will be “the golden key to Miss Bryfogel’s passionate heart. Not only was this book almost totally incomprehensible, it was about friars and abbots, counts and countesses, knights-errant, kings nd queens, and a lot of Italians.” But the reader senses that young Ralphie may be headed for trouble after reading the summary of the first story in the book: “Massetto of Lamporeccio feigneth himself dumb and becometh gardener to a convent of women, who all flock to lie with him” (p. 209).
If you haven’t already figured out what book Ralphie discovered in his parents’ room, then I will leave you to make that entertaining discovery for yourself. Suffice it to say that young Ralph learns that he was incorrect in his original belief that “cuckold” meant the same thing as “cuckoo.”
The alert reader will already have noted that many of the stories contained within the In God We Trust: All Others Pay Cash collection have nothing to do with the Christmas season, or with the movie A Christmas Story. Indeed, I found that I enjoyed this book most as an example of Midwestern regionalism, with its evocative descriptions of life in a fictionalized Hammond, Indiana, during the Great Depression – as when the grown-up Ralph, looking back to his Depression childhood, describes the importance of the Orpheum movie theatre in an industrial town where the industries are all shutting down:
Outside those sacred doors [of the Orpheum theatre] crouched the pale gray wolf of Reality and the Depression. On the skyline, the dark, sullen hulk of the steel mills lay silent and smokeless, like some ancient volcano that had burnt itself out, while the natives roamed the empty streets and told wondrous tales of the time when the skies were lit by the fires of the steel crucibles. And there was something that occupied them all, called Work. Even the word “Work” itself had an almost religious, mythological tone. (p. 238)
One can read In God We Trust: All Others Pay Cash for its ties to A Christmas Story and the Christmas season – or as a fine example of the kind of Middle American humor that looks back to Mark Twain and forward toward David Letterman. Either way, I would encourage you to read the book aloud. A key reason for the success of A Christmas Story, I firmly believe, is that the filmmakers had the eminent good sense to have Shepherd read his work out loud as narrator, with that great radio voice of his. In print, as on the radio, Shepherd’s voice conveys the elements of exaggeration and incongruity that give his humor its piquancy – as surely as Christmas comes to Hammond, Indiana, every 25th of December.