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Is He Nuts?: Why a Gay Man Would Become a Member of the Church of Jesus Christ
Dennis Schleicher's life has been anything but easy. The growing realization that he was gay coupled with his parents' use of religion to justify abuse and neglect led Dennis to have a very complicated relationship with love, God, and organized religion. After suffering a violent hate crime, forced institutionalization, and heartbreak after heartbreak, Dennis was desperate for love and acceptance—he just didn't know where to find it. Walk a mile in Dennis's shoes and see from his eyes how the only love that can truly make you whole is that of the Savior.
263 pages, Kindle Edition
Published August 30, 2019
30 people are currently reading
218 people want to read
About the author
Dennis Schleicher
4 books19 followersDennis Schleicher is a writer, lifestyle reporter, crisis counselor, network marketer, and motivational speaker. Vice president and publicity director of the Connecticut Authors & Publishers Association. Dennis currently works as a network marketer, helping others to achieve financial success through creating residual income.
Dennis has worked at several Fortune 500 companies, including working as a regional sales manager representing a multimillion-dollar territory within the professional beauty industry. It is through his work experience that he learned to effectively communicate with others and achieve his future goals. At age seventeen, Dennis appeared on seven talk shows, including Larry King Live, and Sally Jessy Raphael, after being a victim of a brutal hate crime that occurred in his high school. Dennis now serves as a ward mission leader, assisting sisters and elders throughout New England to better understand how to work and deal with the LGBTQ commu- nity, creating a better understanding amongst all people. Residence: Glastonbury, CT.
Dennis has worked at several Fortune 500 companies, including working as a regional sales manager representing a multimillion-dollar territory within the professional beauty industry. It is through his work experience that he learned to effectively communicate with others and achieve his future goals. At age seventeen, Dennis appeared on seven talk shows, including Larry King Live, and Sally Jessy Raphael, after being a victim of a brutal hate crime that occurred in his high school. Dennis now serves as a ward mission leader, assisting sisters and elders throughout New England to better understand how to work and deal with the LGBTQ commu- nity, creating a better understanding amongst all people. Residence: Glastonbury, CT.
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October 18, 2021
—Never, never fall victim to the heinous thought that [God] does not care for you, that He does not know you. That is a satanic lie, one designed to destroy you. (L. Edward Brown)
I met the author a few years ago and finally got around to reading his book. He is a big hugger, and after reading this I wanted to give him a huge hug again. This is his memoir about joining The Church of Jesus Christ at a time when many churches were (or were perceived to be) homophobic.
Why must we spend so much time and energy labeling, judging, and criticizing people for not living exactly as we do? We’re all unique! Let’s turn up the love and accept people as they are. … There is nothing in the gospel of Jesus Christ that is homophobic or that would lend itself to anti-gay action or rhetoric, so we should be ever watchful against allowing such prejudices to seep into our culture and discourse.
It was so engrossing; it made me laugh and cry, sometimes at the same time. It’s honest and open and uplifting.
In the Church, elders are ordained to the Melchizedek Priesthood, which bestows on them the keys and ability to offer blessings with consecrated oil to heal the sick. Since we were alone, the elders asked if they could perform a blessing, and I eagerly said yes. I was still in a tremendous amount of pain despite a crazy amount of painkillers, and I would have accepted pretty much anything for it to ease. … A little drop of oil was poured onto my head, and the elders spoke through the Holy Ghost, offering comfort and relief and stating that the doctors would be guided to find the best treatment possible. As I was lying there, I had a sense of extreme calmness, no pain, and I felt like I was floating. With my eyes closed, I saw what appeared to be a gray light through a tunnel. I began praying fervently on behalf of the elders: Oh, please don’t take me now, God. If they finish this blessing and I flatline in front of them, these poor elders will never be the same. They’ll probably fly back home to Utah tomorrow.
Language: None
Sexual Content: Very vaguely hinted at
Violence: Dennis describes a rather violent hate crime. The chapter is marked with a trigger warning.
Harm to Animals:
Harm to Children:
Other (Triggers):
I met the author a few years ago and finally got around to reading his book. He is a big hugger, and after reading this I wanted to give him a huge hug again. This is his memoir about joining The Church of Jesus Christ at a time when many churches were (or were perceived to be) homophobic.
Why must we spend so much time and energy labeling, judging, and criticizing people for not living exactly as we do? We’re all unique! Let’s turn up the love and accept people as they are. … There is nothing in the gospel of Jesus Christ that is homophobic or that would lend itself to anti-gay action or rhetoric, so we should be ever watchful against allowing such prejudices to seep into our culture and discourse.
It was so engrossing; it made me laugh and cry, sometimes at the same time. It’s honest and open and uplifting.
In the Church, elders are ordained to the Melchizedek Priesthood, which bestows on them the keys and ability to offer blessings with consecrated oil to heal the sick. Since we were alone, the elders asked if they could perform a blessing, and I eagerly said yes. I was still in a tremendous amount of pain despite a crazy amount of painkillers, and I would have accepted pretty much anything for it to ease. … A little drop of oil was poured onto my head, and the elders spoke through the Holy Ghost, offering comfort and relief and stating that the doctors would be guided to find the best treatment possible. As I was lying there, I had a sense of extreme calmness, no pain, and I felt like I was floating. With my eyes closed, I saw what appeared to be a gray light through a tunnel. I began praying fervently on behalf of the elders: Oh, please don’t take me now, God. If they finish this blessing and I flatline in front of them, these poor elders will never be the same. They’ll probably fly back home to Utah tomorrow.
Language: None
Sexual Content: Very vaguely hinted at
Violence: Dennis describes a rather violent hate crime. The chapter is marked with a trigger warning.
Harm to Animals:
Harm to Children:
Other (Triggers):
August 26, 2019
Well, this is my transformative memoir.
Dennis Schleicher’s life has been anything but easy. The growing realization that he was gay coupled with his parents’ use of religion to justify abuse and neglect led Dennis to have a very complicated relationship with love, God, and organized religion. After suffering a violent hate crime, conversion therapy, and heartbreak after heartbreak, Dennis was desperate for love and acceptance—he just didn’t know where to find it. Walk a mile in Dennis’s shoes and see from his eyes how the only love that can truly make you whole is that of the Savior.
Coming August 2019!
http://www.dennisschleicher.net
Dennis Schleicher’s life has been anything but easy. The growing realization that he was gay coupled with his parents’ use of religion to justify abuse and neglect led Dennis to have a very complicated relationship with love, God, and organized religion. After suffering a violent hate crime, conversion therapy, and heartbreak after heartbreak, Dennis was desperate for love and acceptance—he just didn’t know where to find it. Walk a mile in Dennis’s shoes and see from his eyes how the only love that can truly make you whole is that of the Savior.
Coming August 2019!
http://www.dennisschleicher.net
August 26, 2019
Dennis Schleicher shares his compelling faith-filled journey as a gay man joining The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints at a time when so many LGBTQ were leaving the Church. As an active Latter-day Saint mother of an openly gay son, I was moved by Dennis’s story and the pure love of Christ. A must-read for all who are seeking to walk in the shoes of another.
December 6, 2019
Not only does it shed a desperately needed light on the struggles and the realities of someone who is LGBT, this book is full of Light.
April 28, 2020
It was clear from the beginning of the book that Dennis is a remarkable man. One can’t help but feel triumph for him coming from a physically abusive childhood and experiencing hate crimes to getting to a place of confidence and peace, all while demolishing a lot of misunderstandings for people of The Church of Jesus Christ and the LGBTQ community and advocates regarding each other. While my heart bleeds for those who have had quite a different experience with the church and it’s members, it’s encouraging that there are amazing stories like this. In his words, “There is nothing in the gospel of Jesus Christ that is homophobic or that would lend itself to any anti- gay action or rhetoric, so we should be ever watchful against allowing such prejudices to deep into our culture and discourse.” . . . “I can be my true self as a member of the Lord’s church who is gay and will not run from my past. In fact, I can now embrace my identity more fully than ever before. No matter your religion, faith background, sexual orientation, or race, I challenge you to choose love!”
Dennis has words for those whose experiences don’t echo his own, as well. I don’t think there’s anyone that wouldn’t benefit from and come away with a good feeling from reading this book.
That said, the English major/creative writer in me does have a complaint. As valuable as this account is, it’s told rather quickly. He covers a lot of ground in not a lot of pages. While there’s nothing wrong with that, there were many places where I would have liked the action to slow down to more of a play-by-play, show don’t tell, style. For example, Dennis tells about buying lunch for some sister missionaries while he’s investigating, and ends up having a very spiritual experience. But he downplays it a little, admitting that experiences like this don’t transfer well into writing. I get it. But I came away feeling like he said “you had to be there” and I thought, but I AM here with you now via the book! My experience has indicated that people tell personal stories like this because they don’t remember the nitty-gritty details and they want to be accurate, and they don’t employ creative nonfiction practices of filling in the blanks so that readers come away hopefully getting the same material and feeling the same things that the narrator did when he experienced them, even if it feels like they’re making stuff up. It’s not the same.
I personally would love to see a second edition where most of the book is expounded with play-by-play action and dialogue. I think it would go a long way toward really helping readers get lost in the story and possibly come away with more.
Dennis has words for those whose experiences don’t echo his own, as well. I don’t think there’s anyone that wouldn’t benefit from and come away with a good feeling from reading this book.
That said, the English major/creative writer in me does have a complaint. As valuable as this account is, it’s told rather quickly. He covers a lot of ground in not a lot of pages. While there’s nothing wrong with that, there were many places where I would have liked the action to slow down to more of a play-by-play, show don’t tell, style. For example, Dennis tells about buying lunch for some sister missionaries while he’s investigating, and ends up having a very spiritual experience. But he downplays it a little, admitting that experiences like this don’t transfer well into writing. I get it. But I came away feeling like he said “you had to be there” and I thought, but I AM here with you now via the book! My experience has indicated that people tell personal stories like this because they don’t remember the nitty-gritty details and they want to be accurate, and they don’t employ creative nonfiction practices of filling in the blanks so that readers come away hopefully getting the same material and feeling the same things that the narrator did when he experienced them, even if it feels like they’re making stuff up. It’s not the same.
I personally would love to see a second edition where most of the book is expounded with play-by-play action and dialogue. I think it would go a long way toward really helping readers get lost in the story and possibly come away with more.
January 14, 2020
This book... I. Am. In. LOVE. It’s everything I hoped it would be and so much more.
Basically, it’s is a conversion story for the ages. It’s raw, real, witty, and inspiring. Dennis had me crying in one sentence and laughing in the next; he perfectly blends soul-touching experiences with his fun-loving, silly personality (the Bette Midler reference KILLED me!) into an honest and awe-inspiring narrative. Through the experiences and reflections he shared, it became so clear me that God loves him — and all of us — completely and without reservation, no matter how different or undeserving we may feel.
Dennis’s experience set the standard for how every single person should feel when they walk through our chapel doors or even simply encounter a member of our faith: love, genuine care, and acceptance. As Dennis himself said, “It shouldn’t matter if you’re Caucasian, purple, African American, Asian, gay, questioning, Democrat, Republican, or Independent. When we get a paper cut, everyone bleeds red.”
The writing is not always perfectly polished, but to me, that only added to the book’s authenticity — and I LOVE how genuine it feels. Dennis doesn’t hold back or deny past mistakes; instead, he embraces his imperfections (present and past) and focuses on how the Savior can heal each of us and turn us into better people.
“Is He Nuts? Why a Gay Man Would Become a Member of the Church of Jesus Christ” is a wonderful book and so worth the read. It makes clear the point that we’re all children of God and have intrinsic, significant worth. I’m so grateful to Dennis for sharing that in his memoir and touching my life in the process.
Basically, it’s is a conversion story for the ages. It’s raw, real, witty, and inspiring. Dennis had me crying in one sentence and laughing in the next; he perfectly blends soul-touching experiences with his fun-loving, silly personality (the Bette Midler reference KILLED me!) into an honest and awe-inspiring narrative. Through the experiences and reflections he shared, it became so clear me that God loves him — and all of us — completely and without reservation, no matter how different or undeserving we may feel.
Dennis’s experience set the standard for how every single person should feel when they walk through our chapel doors or even simply encounter a member of our faith: love, genuine care, and acceptance. As Dennis himself said, “It shouldn’t matter if you’re Caucasian, purple, African American, Asian, gay, questioning, Democrat, Republican, or Independent. When we get a paper cut, everyone bleeds red.”
The writing is not always perfectly polished, but to me, that only added to the book’s authenticity — and I LOVE how genuine it feels. Dennis doesn’t hold back or deny past mistakes; instead, he embraces his imperfections (present and past) and focuses on how the Savior can heal each of us and turn us into better people.
“Is He Nuts? Why a Gay Man Would Become a Member of the Church of Jesus Christ” is a wonderful book and so worth the read. It makes clear the point that we’re all children of God and have intrinsic, significant worth. I’m so grateful to Dennis for sharing that in his memoir and touching my life in the process.
August 20, 2019
Dennis’s book was like listening to a friend tell you their story and afterward you just want to give them a big hug and let them know how much you love and appreciate the sharing with you! His experiences and testimony are truly a light in this world and I believe his story will help many both in the LDS church and out of it. What better way to learn about the LDS church and LGBTQ than from a gay man who joined the church? Dennis’s testimony and love for all shines through as you learn about his life and struggles while finding peace and love amongst a people that is thought to only have hatred for him. I recommend this book to all members and former members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints as well as to those who are curious to learn. this book to all members and former members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints as well as to those who are curious to learn but have concerns about the churches stances when it comes to our LGBTQ friends.
January 19, 2020
Dennis's journey is amazing. I was so saddened to hear about the abuse that he experienced in his youth both at home and in school. His story is filled with love and hope. I love hearing about his sweet experiences with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and his experience in sharing his experiences with others. His story was well-written and is quite the page-turner. I would highly recommend reading this book!
October 8, 2019
Dennis is right, we all need to turn up the love in our lives. I learned so much reading this man’s journey to self-love and a relationship with God, but more than anything it really empathised how each of us is amazing and deserves love, no matter race, gender, sexual orientation, etc.
December 5, 2021
What a beautiful real, raw, vulnerable story. I love the honesty and optimism Dennis embodies as he shares such a personal journey. My only minor issue is the way he writes sometimes seems not fully correct or readable but the overall story makes up for my difficulty with parts of his writing.
November 3, 2019
This is an amazing story. I suggest everyone should read it and have already told multiple friends about it. Such a powerful story about the unconditional love God has for each one of us.
September 19, 2019
After seeing this title, I was very interested in hearing the perspective of someone who is a member of the LGBTQ community and embraces the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
The book begins by detailing the personal life of Dennis, before he knew anything about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. The persecution that he dealt with growing up with was almost unreal. He was somehow able to take some of what went through and use it to help him become a better, more prepared individual. The next section of the book, where he talked about his experiences with homosexuality, greatly enlarged my understanding and perpective of the LGBTQ topic in general, and that was one of my hopes for this book. My other hope was that I would be able to gain a better understanding of the perspective of a gay, active member of the church. I was not disappointed. Dennis shares his conversion story with the readers, and in doing so, emphasizes the importance of listening, seeking to understand, and loving. That's what Jesus would do, right? I love that he talks about the fact that we just don't know the answer to everything, but what is most important is that we know that God is our loving Heavenly Father and that we strive to live the Gospel of Jesus Christ (Faith, repentance, baptism/sacrament, receiving and living worthily of the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end).
This book also inspired me to want to be a better missionary. If The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints carries such essential truths and the key to eternal happiness and exaltation, everyone deserves a chance to understand it well enough to choose it.
Overall, this was an enlightening and inspiring book. I have many friends and family that I hope will read it, because just as this book says, we need to make sure that EVERYONE feels the Savior's love.
#TurnUpTheLove
The book begins by detailing the personal life of Dennis, before he knew anything about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. The persecution that he dealt with growing up with was almost unreal. He was somehow able to take some of what went through and use it to help him become a better, more prepared individual. The next section of the book, where he talked about his experiences with homosexuality, greatly enlarged my understanding and perpective of the LGBTQ topic in general, and that was one of my hopes for this book. My other hope was that I would be able to gain a better understanding of the perspective of a gay, active member of the church. I was not disappointed. Dennis shares his conversion story with the readers, and in doing so, emphasizes the importance of listening, seeking to understand, and loving. That's what Jesus would do, right? I love that he talks about the fact that we just don't know the answer to everything, but what is most important is that we know that God is our loving Heavenly Father and that we strive to live the Gospel of Jesus Christ (Faith, repentance, baptism/sacrament, receiving and living worthily of the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end).
This book also inspired me to want to be a better missionary. If The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints carries such essential truths and the key to eternal happiness and exaltation, everyone deserves a chance to understand it well enough to choose it.
Overall, this was an enlightening and inspiring book. I have many friends and family that I hope will read it, because just as this book says, we need to make sure that EVERYONE feels the Savior's love.
#TurnUpTheLove
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 2, 2024
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has long been known for its stance that marriage is between a man and a woman. Why then would a gay man want to join a religion that has such a strong opinion and appears to be discriminatory in regards to what members of the LGBTQ community are allowed to do within the church's frame work? I had to know.
Within this book's pages, Dennis writes about many of his life experiences leading up to the point where he is introduced to the The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. A lot of them are raw and heartbreaking. As Dennis describes his investigation of the church and its guiding principals, I discovered that his conversion story had the same elements that mine did-- the comfort that comes from knowing that God knows and loves each of his children just as they are, the peace that comes from knowing that the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ lifts us up to help us become more like our Savior, and that our family members never really leave us when they die and that can come to help comfort us in our darkest hours.
I loved Dennis' catch phrase and call to "Turn up the love" because it is in loving each other as God loves each of his children that opens our hearts and minds to understanding. Dennis leaves resources all throughout the book for both those in the LGBTQ community and for their allies.
Thank you, Dennis for sharing your experiences, your advice, and your testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. In doing so, you have also strengthened mine.
Within this book's pages, Dennis writes about many of his life experiences leading up to the point where he is introduced to the The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. A lot of them are raw and heartbreaking. As Dennis describes his investigation of the church and its guiding principals, I discovered that his conversion story had the same elements that mine did-- the comfort that comes from knowing that God knows and loves each of his children just as they are, the peace that comes from knowing that the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ lifts us up to help us become more like our Savior, and that our family members never really leave us when they die and that can come to help comfort us in our darkest hours.
I loved Dennis' catch phrase and call to "Turn up the love" because it is in loving each other as God loves each of his children that opens our hearts and minds to understanding. Dennis leaves resources all throughout the book for both those in the LGBTQ community and for their allies.
Thank you, Dennis for sharing your experiences, your advice, and your testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. In doing so, you have also strengthened mine.
December 16, 2019
What I loved about this book was the constant affirmation that Jesus DOES love you. It’s so easy to get caught up on the little things in life, the things Satan tries to tell us, or even the little details of the church.
But what brought Dennis to the church was knowing that he is loved by Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ for just being Dennis.
I constantly wonder if I am enough and doing enough for my kids, my husband, my house, my church, etc.
Everyone should know that they are loved. And I needed to know that I am loved. That I am enough. And Jesus DOES love me. Just me. Just like he loves Dennis, just Dennis.
What a beautiful thing to learn from a book.
But what brought Dennis to the church was knowing that he is loved by Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ for just being Dennis.
I constantly wonder if I am enough and doing enough for my kids, my husband, my house, my church, etc.
Everyone should know that they are loved. And I needed to know that I am loved. That I am enough. And Jesus DOES love me. Just me. Just like he loves Dennis, just Dennis.
What a beautiful thing to learn from a book.
April 25, 2020
I loved this book and stayed up late to finish it. I learned a lot and it changed the way I think. It makes you want to be kinder and more understanding to everyone who happens to be different from you, whether gay or not. His writing style makes you feel like you're close friends--as you will want to be after reading this wonderful book.
January 14, 2021
LGBTQ members of the Mormon church traditionally have a choice when they discover their sexuality deviates from the norm. Ignore it, and carry on the best they can. Pretend they aren’t gay, bi, trans, or whatever they know themselves to be.
Or, leave.
And also leave behind their families, community, and their relationship with God. An equally integral part of who they are. It’s a big ask, and one reason why probably more members than we’ll ever know about choose a life of denial.
So why would any openly gay man convert to Mormonism?
The answer takes the form of a memoir.
I’m glad I read this after Skirting Gender because the similarities are striking. Neither has writing that reaches from the page to envelop the reader. Both are penned by charismatic, interesting people—evident in the kind of successes each have had and the opportunities offered them throughout their lives. They are accustomed to using expression, tone, and body language to tell an engaging story; which doesn’t work nearly as well written down. And neither digs deep enough to discover anything truly raw to show us. There is always the consciousness of an audience. In Nathaniel’s case, his family and friends, while Dennis has the tougher reading circle of active church leadership and potential recruits. Which adversely affects the outcome in Is He Nuts because the whole purpose and thrust of the narrative is to discover how on earth a gay man becomes Mormon. After that, the fifty or so pages that document his progression in the church become superfluous.
The heartbreaking stuff is between the lines. A gay kid bullied for who he was. Shunned by his parents. Forced to make his way alone at a far too early an age. The book is oddly (or maybe not so oddly, considering) light on his romantic life. We get other epochs in emotive detail, but not his first kiss. Nor anything with another guy. He did write a previous book about his affair with a closeted married man, maybe he dealt with it there. But I found the lack telling. Dennis wanted a partner for the long haul; a husband, kids, and a house in the suburbs. But our culture, gay or straight, has just started to support that--for gay men especially--and certainly not when he was actively dating. "Haven't yet" and "never" are easy to confuse. One does turn into the other.
And the Mormons readily accept him as a gay man. Which is refreshingly progressive of them, and might not have been the case a handful of years ago. As a church leader admits, the Mormons need him. They know they have a PR problem in this particular area. And I’m glad Dennis is happy and accepted in their midst.
But the hair of their acceptance gets split pretty fine. He can’t have a partner. He can’t even date. There’s no at last finding the person he wants to be with forever and marrying him. Not in the eyes of the church he has chosen. He can’t even be sure he has a place in heaven, because the Mormon concept of it centers around the family; husbands and wives with their children.
My question is, what happens to all of this if he truly falls in love?
Or, leave.
And also leave behind their families, community, and their relationship with God. An equally integral part of who they are. It’s a big ask, and one reason why probably more members than we’ll ever know about choose a life of denial.
So why would any openly gay man convert to Mormonism?
The answer takes the form of a memoir.
I’m glad I read this after Skirting Gender because the similarities are striking. Neither has writing that reaches from the page to envelop the reader. Both are penned by charismatic, interesting people—evident in the kind of successes each have had and the opportunities offered them throughout their lives. They are accustomed to using expression, tone, and body language to tell an engaging story; which doesn’t work nearly as well written down. And neither digs deep enough to discover anything truly raw to show us. There is always the consciousness of an audience. In Nathaniel’s case, his family and friends, while Dennis has the tougher reading circle of active church leadership and potential recruits. Which adversely affects the outcome in Is He Nuts because the whole purpose and thrust of the narrative is to discover how on earth a gay man becomes Mormon. After that, the fifty or so pages that document his progression in the church become superfluous.
The heartbreaking stuff is between the lines. A gay kid bullied for who he was. Shunned by his parents. Forced to make his way alone at a far too early an age. The book is oddly (or maybe not so oddly, considering) light on his romantic life. We get other epochs in emotive detail, but not his first kiss. Nor anything with another guy. He did write a previous book about his affair with a closeted married man, maybe he dealt with it there. But I found the lack telling. Dennis wanted a partner for the long haul; a husband, kids, and a house in the suburbs. But our culture, gay or straight, has just started to support that--for gay men especially--and certainly not when he was actively dating. "Haven't yet" and "never" are easy to confuse. One does turn into the other.
And the Mormons readily accept him as a gay man. Which is refreshingly progressive of them, and might not have been the case a handful of years ago. As a church leader admits, the Mormons need him. They know they have a PR problem in this particular area. And I’m glad Dennis is happy and accepted in their midst.
But the hair of their acceptance gets split pretty fine. He can’t have a partner. He can’t even date. There’s no at last finding the person he wants to be with forever and marrying him. Not in the eyes of the church he has chosen. He can’t even be sure he has a place in heaven, because the Mormon concept of it centers around the family; husbands and wives with their children.
My question is, what happens to all of this if he truly falls in love?
June 20, 2021
I adore this book. I want everyone to read it. I am a pansexual, gender-fluid member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I buried my orientation for a long time because I’d already undergone bullying and abuse consistently for years for just *existing,* I didn’t need to give people MORE reasons to abuse me. Besides, I grew up in a super small town and didn’t even know what “pansexual” or “gender-fluid” was, I just knew I wasn’t straight and I wasn’t “normal.”
I’ve gone through so much abuse from other members of the church and have been traumatized by leaders. I’ve been made to feel completely worthless and like God could never love or accept me. So, years ago, when I first felt—and could begin to accept—God’s love for me, and learned that what everyone else had made me feel was an outright lie, I knew I would never, EVER let it go. No matter what. No PERSON would ever have the power to separate me from God’s love (this is not The Church of Such-and-Such-Leader, this is The Church of *Jesus Christ* of Latter-day Saints, and *that’s* Who I put my trust, faith and hope in). There is nothing else like it. There are no words for it. It can only be felt to be understood. It is the greatest treasure of all.
I have had family leave the church, some have become bitter against it, and I know there are some people that probably don’t fully understand how I can stay. So, reading Dennis’s book, I felt SO understood! The moment where he described feeling Heavenly Father’s love for him, I *bawled.* BAWLED! Outright ugly cried in my car, because I could feel God’s love for me in that moment, and I thought back to those crucial times when I had felt that love and knew that what the world had made me feel about myself was a lie. When he described why he chose to be baptized and why he stays, I actually blurted out loud, “YES! Exactly!!! Thank you!!!”
I adore this book. It has been an absolute blessing to me—especially today, actually. I needed the reminder of God’s love today. I will likely read this book again and again, and have already begun telling other people to read it. It’s going on my shelf of most-favorite-books-of-all-time.
I’ve gone through so much abuse from other members of the church and have been traumatized by leaders. I’ve been made to feel completely worthless and like God could never love or accept me. So, years ago, when I first felt—and could begin to accept—God’s love for me, and learned that what everyone else had made me feel was an outright lie, I knew I would never, EVER let it go. No matter what. No PERSON would ever have the power to separate me from God’s love (this is not The Church of Such-and-Such-Leader, this is The Church of *Jesus Christ* of Latter-day Saints, and *that’s* Who I put my trust, faith and hope in). There is nothing else like it. There are no words for it. It can only be felt to be understood. It is the greatest treasure of all.
I have had family leave the church, some have become bitter against it, and I know there are some people that probably don’t fully understand how I can stay. So, reading Dennis’s book, I felt SO understood! The moment where he described feeling Heavenly Father’s love for him, I *bawled.* BAWLED! Outright ugly cried in my car, because I could feel God’s love for me in that moment, and I thought back to those crucial times when I had felt that love and knew that what the world had made me feel about myself was a lie. When he described why he chose to be baptized and why he stays, I actually blurted out loud, “YES! Exactly!!! Thank you!!!”
I adore this book. It has been an absolute blessing to me—especially today, actually. I needed the reminder of God’s love today. I will likely read this book again and again, and have already begun telling other people to read it. It’s going on my shelf of most-favorite-books-of-all-time.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 5, 2020
The author shows their lack of research or desire to know details about what they’re getting into when they write “it didn’t occur to me that I couldn’t be baptized by a woman,” this being one of the fundamentals of the institution.
Being that the author stopped or changed being gay, this book title is misleading. I feel an elephant in the room throughout the entire book. It’s that according to the LDS church, one must STOP living a gay life in order to receive God’s blessings, and have membership. Doing this and at the same time celebrating ones individual homosexuality is problematic, even hypocritical. According to LDS doctrine, all one has to do is kiss one guy, and your blessings are revoked. That doesn’t feel like what Jesus would do to me. The Author seems to ignore that the loving treatment they receive is on account of the members believing that he’s changed or have been fixed. When one changes again in the future, one will undoubtedly be treated differently.
Throughout the authors learning and joining the church, he doesn’t include consideration of how a younger version of himself, or people different than him would react to, or be treated by, missionaries and church doctrines (the author is an affluent white male).
As a lifelong member myself, It’s clear that the author is not aware of:
A. Dallin H. Oaks career in the church
B. The church’s long history and current practice of reparative therapy for “same sex attraction.”
C. BYU’s policing standards against homosexuality
D. The book Miracle of Forgiveness
E. Utah Valley Oasis. The company started to curtail soaring youth suicides attributed to the LDS’s Nov. 2015 and 2019 policies about LGBTQ.
F. LDS sunday school lesson about Chewed Gum
Being that the author stopped or changed being gay, this book title is misleading. I feel an elephant in the room throughout the entire book. It’s that according to the LDS church, one must STOP living a gay life in order to receive God’s blessings, and have membership. Doing this and at the same time celebrating ones individual homosexuality is problematic, even hypocritical. According to LDS doctrine, all one has to do is kiss one guy, and your blessings are revoked. That doesn’t feel like what Jesus would do to me. The Author seems to ignore that the loving treatment they receive is on account of the members believing that he’s changed or have been fixed. When one changes again in the future, one will undoubtedly be treated differently.
Throughout the authors learning and joining the church, he doesn’t include consideration of how a younger version of himself, or people different than him would react to, or be treated by, missionaries and church doctrines (the author is an affluent white male).
As a lifelong member myself, It’s clear that the author is not aware of:
A. Dallin H. Oaks career in the church
B. The church’s long history and current practice of reparative therapy for “same sex attraction.”
C. BYU’s policing standards against homosexuality
D. The book Miracle of Forgiveness
E. Utah Valley Oasis. The company started to curtail soaring youth suicides attributed to the LDS’s Nov. 2015 and 2019 policies about LGBTQ.
F. LDS sunday school lesson about Chewed Gum
May 24, 2020
How can you give someone who tells their real life story well anything less than 5 stars? I mean, regardless of whether I particularly have much in common or not, or if it’s on par with Lauren Hillenbrand’s “Seabiscuit”, if you legibly and with a lot of your personality shining through write a non-fiction memoir that I read and enjoyed all the way to the end, then you are getting 5-stars from me. Period. Dennis is not simply a “gay convert”; he is an individual with a very interesting story and background. For instance, I am pretty sure that I watched the talk show “Sally Jessy Rafael” that he was on when he was 17 and had been viciously attacked by a group of peers in his high school bathroom. This was before the Hate Crime bill had been written and passed into law so he actually had an effect on that. Reading his story I realized how far we have come in our treatment of those we don’t understand or who are simply different than ourselves. And how long it takes to truly evolve as a society, let alone as a faith. Dennis tells his story of conversion in such a personal and intimate way. I enjoyed his whole story of spiritual growth from the beginning as a youth in Connecticut to his going through the temple for himself and his deceased family as an adult. He gets joy from learning from, sharing with and serving others. His faith is a day at a time with a lot of comfort from the Spirit and the fact that the gospel plan is still unfolding. The blessings he experiences right now, however, are enough to keep him engaged and enduring the ups and downs. The photos he includes that share his journey are fantastic too. He is a wonderful missionary and human being.
January 1, 2021
I'm so glad this book exists! And that Dennis Schleicher exists haha. His book reads like a friend sitting you down and telling you their life story.... because essentially that's exactly what it is. Whether you're a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints or not, you can read this book and not feel confused. Dennis explains a lot of the Church's doctrines along the way, but he also just tells his story. You can feel his fun, friendly personality through the words. It's definitely not a very formal book, so don't go in expecting that. I enjoyed hearing his perspectives about the Church both now and when he was first learning about it. Most of all I loved how the catalyst for Dennis's conversion was that Church members made him feel so, so loved. Before joining the Church was even a thought, his new friend just loved and accepted him. I think it was important that he mentioned that while HIS social experience in the Church of Jesus Christ has been a positive one, that's not the case for everyone in the LGBTQ community, or others in minority groups or simply those who are different. It breaks my heart. Dennis states that there's nothing in the gospel of Jesus Christ that is anti-gay. So any of that hate comes from people who either don't understand or aren't living what they're being taught. To me, this book is a call to action for members of the Church to "turn up the love," as Dennis would say. Embrace those who are different from you and learn from them, so you can love them better. This book and its message are SO important!
May 22, 2020
I am a Gay Man and not a Mormon ~ Now I may have to look at this church.
I am not a reader, nor am I religious. However I could not put this book down. Each page kept me wanting to know more. Oh, he stole the Book of Mormon, Lol, And wanted to protest the church before he was baptized. Hilarious! His memoir had all the emotional ups and downs, accompanied by humor as you could feel the conviction in Dennis’s life-changing transformation. It left me with a new understanding that Mormons are not as I or other members of the LGBTQ Community would assume.
Dennis’ Thought-provoking, this mind-changing story left me with a full education as to “why a gay man would become Mormon.”
Is Dennis nuts? Well, at first I would have said YES! Now I must say he’s as normal as any of us.
I will join Dennis in #TurnUpTheLove and will no longer look down on my ignorance towards the Mormons. Thank you for publishing you’re raw story. I know this book is changing lives, perceptions, and dispelling many myths. Including the one I had. My vote is this book deserves “book of the year,” or a “Lambda Literary Award.”
So, how does one go about getting a copy of The Book of Mormon???
I am not a reader, nor am I religious. However I could not put this book down. Each page kept me wanting to know more. Oh, he stole the Book of Mormon, Lol, And wanted to protest the church before he was baptized. Hilarious! His memoir had all the emotional ups and downs, accompanied by humor as you could feel the conviction in Dennis’s life-changing transformation. It left me with a new understanding that Mormons are not as I or other members of the LGBTQ Community would assume.
Dennis’ Thought-provoking, this mind-changing story left me with a full education as to “why a gay man would become Mormon.”
Is Dennis nuts? Well, at first I would have said YES! Now I must say he’s as normal as any of us.
I will join Dennis in #TurnUpTheLove and will no longer look down on my ignorance towards the Mormons. Thank you for publishing you’re raw story. I know this book is changing lives, perceptions, and dispelling many myths. Including the one I had. My vote is this book deserves “book of the year,” or a “Lambda Literary Award.”
So, how does one go about getting a copy of The Book of Mormon???
January 23, 2025
Schleicher vulnerably shares the complexities of transitioning from life as a non-religious, openly gay man, to joining the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He provides great insights to heterosexual members of this church as to what they should keep in mind when interacting with gay people, both within and out of the church. Additionally, he explains why members of the LGBT community should consider joining this church (or at learn to appreciate its goodness).
Great Sunday read! Definitely a testimony builder!
Great Sunday read! Definitely a testimony builder!
September 5, 2021
This is a must read. It is so insightful into the issues that LGTBQ+ LDS members face, and it has helped me see how loved every single child of God is.
Dennis, I don’t know if you’ll ever read this review, but I wept during so many moments in your book. It is so beautiful to see how your struggles of questioning whether or not God and Christ loved you and the trials you faced was God’s masterful plan that shows just how much He loves you. You are so needed BECAUSE of who you are, exactly as you are, not in spite of it. ♥️
Dennis, I don’t know if you’ll ever read this review, but I wept during so many moments in your book. It is so beautiful to see how your struggles of questioning whether or not God and Christ loved you and the trials you faced was God’s masterful plan that shows just how much He loves you. You are so needed BECAUSE of who you are, exactly as you are, not in spite of it. ♥️
June 28, 2020
WOW! Is all I have...This book was so captivating and inspiring. One minute I was laughing, the next minute crying. There is hope for everyone out there who will just believe God loves them, because he does!
October 26, 2020
I love to read or hear about people’s conversion stories to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I’m so glad that Dennis had the courage to share his unique experience, and I hope more people will read his book and listen to his message to “turn up the love”.
May 4, 2020
Dennis is such an amazing missionary! His conversion story and testimony were so touching. I admire his faith, humility and willingness to be obedient.
January 6, 2023
As a straight convert to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I know it involves quite a bit of (albeit wonderful) changes in one's lifestyle but it is a whole new culture nonetheless.
For a gay person, this commitment is even bigger and profound!
For a gay person, this commitment is even bigger and profound!
December 26, 2023
I admire Dennis for his resilience and vulnerability, especially in the early parts of this book. He seems like an incredible, positive person, and someone who is absolutely worth looking up to in a lot of ways.
I even appreciate his recounting of his conversion. I think it’s a lovely, personal choice, and I wish nothing but the best for him.
That said, this book overly relies on getting an emotional response from the reader while never really approaching any of its topics or narratives with much depth or criticality. For instance, it uses this technique where the author will say something like “I was so glad to learn that the church performs baptism by immersion like Jesus did in the Bible, because the way other churches just use a sprinkling of water never made sense to me!” It’s great that I can see how that makes sense to one person, but it seems a bit dismissive of other viewpoints, backgrounds, and history. This is true in its view of gay men, which paints the majority of them as overly promiscuous while ignoring the cultural context in which that sexual culture evolved. It is true in its treatment of other minorities, including sexual minorities (aside from gay men) and racial minorities. And it is particularly true in its depiction of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as welcoming of LGBTQ+ people.
I absolutely agree with (and have firsthand experience with) the positive and welcoming attitude of the church toward gay members. And it is admittedly vulnerable of Dennis to share this positivity, and I commend him for that. But there is a lot more depth and nuance than just the good to the church’s approach to sexual minorities. There has been and currently still is a lot of pain that comes from church policies, doctrines, and member behavior. And this book ignores and minimizes this.
While this is Dennis’s personal story and he has every right to share it, I find it somewhat irresponsible to think he can do so while ignoring so much of the cultural context that it exists in.
And to be honest, the last fifty pages or so are repetitive.
I even appreciate his recounting of his conversion. I think it’s a lovely, personal choice, and I wish nothing but the best for him.
That said, this book overly relies on getting an emotional response from the reader while never really approaching any of its topics or narratives with much depth or criticality. For instance, it uses this technique where the author will say something like “I was so glad to learn that the church performs baptism by immersion like Jesus did in the Bible, because the way other churches just use a sprinkling of water never made sense to me!” It’s great that I can see how that makes sense to one person, but it seems a bit dismissive of other viewpoints, backgrounds, and history. This is true in its view of gay men, which paints the majority of them as overly promiscuous while ignoring the cultural context in which that sexual culture evolved. It is true in its treatment of other minorities, including sexual minorities (aside from gay men) and racial minorities. And it is particularly true in its depiction of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as welcoming of LGBTQ+ people.
I absolutely agree with (and have firsthand experience with) the positive and welcoming attitude of the church toward gay members. And it is admittedly vulnerable of Dennis to share this positivity, and I commend him for that. But there is a lot more depth and nuance than just the good to the church’s approach to sexual minorities. There has been and currently still is a lot of pain that comes from church policies, doctrines, and member behavior. And this book ignores and minimizes this.
While this is Dennis’s personal story and he has every right to share it, I find it somewhat irresponsible to think he can do so while ignoring so much of the cultural context that it exists in.
And to be honest, the last fifty pages or so are repetitive.
September 13, 2019
This book is a beautifully written personal journey to find love and belonging, something we can all relate to. It’s touching to see how open and loving Dennis is after so much heartache. Although his story is unique, I loved the message that God’s love can transform our lives and He loves us all right now, just as we are. Hearing stories like this help us all want to love others unconditionally and seek to understand one another. We all want to be loved and feel like we belong!
October 21, 2019
I LOVED this book!! I read it in one sitting on a long drive!! I don’t have a lot of interaction with those that belong to the LGBT community - but after reading this memoir I am encouraged to open my arms to all who feel like they don’t “fit”. Jesus loves everyone and I want to be like Jesus!!! I want to be like Dennis and “turn up the love.” Thank you Dennis for your honesty, your courage...and will you please be my next best friend?!
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