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The Man I Loved Before
‘Dear Ben, I can only write you this letter because I know you’ll never read it…’
When Jem writes to her ex Ben, it’s to explain everything. All the secrets she kept from him – from the little lies she’d sometimes tell about how new those shoes really were, or how many glasses of wine she’d had that evening… right up to The Big Thing that happened on the night that changed everything. But she never expects he will actually see what she’s written.
She is just writing because she thinks it will help to get the words out. Later, she resolves, she’ll burn the letter, and then the past will be in the past for good.
Because Jem is doing fine now. She’s busy: working, spending time with her best friend, and looking after her mother, who’s in remission from cancer. She’s even dating again and has just met a guy who she thinks she could actually fall for. At long last, Jem is really, definitely somewhere close to happy.
But her mum finds the letter and thinks she’s doing Jem a favour when she posts it to Ben. And Jem’s new, carefully rebuilt life begins to unravel in ways she could never have imagined. Then, when her mother gets ill again, she finds herself asking who has the key to her future. The man she’s falling in love with now? Or the man she loved before?
A heartbreaking, beautifully honest novel that will stay with readers long after they finish it.
When Jem writes to her ex Ben, it’s to explain everything. All the secrets she kept from him – from the little lies she’d sometimes tell about how new those shoes really were, or how many glasses of wine she’d had that evening… right up to The Big Thing that happened on the night that changed everything. But she never expects he will actually see what she’s written.
She is just writing because she thinks it will help to get the words out. Later, she resolves, she’ll burn the letter, and then the past will be in the past for good.
Because Jem is doing fine now. She’s busy: working, spending time with her best friend, and looking after her mother, who’s in remission from cancer. She’s even dating again and has just met a guy who she thinks she could actually fall for. At long last, Jem is really, definitely somewhere close to happy.
But her mum finds the letter and thinks she’s doing Jem a favour when she posts it to Ben. And Jem’s new, carefully rebuilt life begins to unravel in ways she could never have imagined. Then, when her mother gets ill again, she finds herself asking who has the key to her future. The man she’s falling in love with now? Or the man she loved before?
A heartbreaking, beautifully honest novel that will stay with readers long after they finish it.
394 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 10, 2020
246 people are currently reading
467 people want to read
About the author
Anna Mansell
6 books40 followersAnna had a brush with 'fame' as a magician’s assistant back in 1977. She later decided that being sawn in half by her father, at barely 6 months old, was too submissive a role, vowing to channel the trauma in to something much more pro-actively creative. Having failed at acting, singing and professional murder mystery parties (she was ALWAYs the one to die!), she fell to something much more solitary: writing. How To Mend a Broken Heart was her first novel and her life was not on the line in order to write it, or The Lost Wife. Anna lives on a dairy farm in Cornwall with her two children, her husband, and her ex-racing greyhound, Olive Dog.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 57 reviews
March 14, 2020
An emotional and unique story filled with heart and healing. This book gave me all the feels: I laughed, I cried, I got frustrated, I cringed, I rolled my eyes, I smiled, and I shrugged my shoulders. Jem’s Life is a bit of a mess she lost the love of her life, her job, her house, filed for bankruptcy, and worst of all her mom is fighting cancer. Just as it looks as though Jem’s Life might turn around her mother meaning well sends a letter off to her ex Ben. This was a letter that Jem wrote for her own closure, a letter never meant to be seen, a letter that disclosed some pretty deep secrets that Ben was not aware of. What follows is a complicated story of hope, humor, sentiment, and sorrow.
Jem was a very likable and relatable character. I really liked her sense of humor and her strong friendship with Leanne. I really wasn’t sure what to make of the men in her life. Ben seemed to have moved on and Mitch there just seem to be something off about him. This really wasn’t a love triangle though, because there is a clear choice, you just never are sure that things are going to work out that way. The most important bond of this book however was that of Jem and her mother. Her mom really was such a treasure and I loved how supportive they were of one another. This book really does deal with some serious issues and I think they were handled well. I wish however that Jem’s alcoholism was addressed a little more thoroughly, I think it would have been a bit of a tougher battle for her to quit drinking. But there was a lot going on in the story and I think it ended on the perfect satisfying note.
*** Big thank you to Bookouture for my gifted copy of this book. All opinions are my own. ***
Jem was a very likable and relatable character. I really liked her sense of humor and her strong friendship with Leanne. I really wasn’t sure what to make of the men in her life. Ben seemed to have moved on and Mitch there just seem to be something off about him. This really wasn’t a love triangle though, because there is a clear choice, you just never are sure that things are going to work out that way. The most important bond of this book however was that of Jem and her mother. Her mom really was such a treasure and I loved how supportive they were of one another. This book really does deal with some serious issues and I think they were handled well. I wish however that Jem’s alcoholism was addressed a little more thoroughly, I think it would have been a bit of a tougher battle for her to quit drinking. But there was a lot going on in the story and I think it ended on the perfect satisfying note.
*** Big thank you to Bookouture for my gifted copy of this book. All opinions are my own. ***
December 3, 2020
The title, cover and blurb sells this book as a second chance romance, where the heroine gets to a crossroad in her life, choosing between her ex husband and the new man in her love. That is not at all how the plot goes. In fact, I would not even call this a romance, more contemporary fiction. She interacted with the ex-husband in 3 scenes exactly not counting the one scene where she spied on him outside his house nor the epilogue scene where they already have reconnected. He did feature in her thoughts a handful of times or so. There definitely was not any pining over the ex while she acquainted herself with her new lover nor during the relationship with the latter. What there was was a whole lot of binge drinking on her part, both past and present alcohol excesses and reminiscing over the significant damage her drinking had wrought including destroying her marriage, and yet she had learnt absolutely nothing from it because she continued the disturbing trend of over-indulging nightly. Not really because she was miserable and self-pitying so much as because she could. In fact, I really did not see much evidence of remorse from her. Furthermore, her best friend and her mother continued to enable her by telling her how wonderful she was and that there was no need to change and improve herself.
There were horrible choices in her life which were glossed over by her "weak" personality and inability to say no, but there was no explanation as to why she was so insipid and irresolute. She was brought up by a strong and positive woman. Her mother is the best thing about the book. Their relationship was well written and moving.
The big letdown was the main character herself. It's not that she was flawed, but that she learnt nothing from her past mistakes and did not grow as a character. Her relationship with the wrong man was dragged on tediously while the ending was resolved at a rushed pace like the author coming to the realisation that she was fast reaching the limit of her word count limit.
This is an ARC from NetGalley.
There were horrible choices in her life which were glossed over by her "weak" personality and inability to say no, but there was no explanation as to why she was so insipid and irresolute. She was brought up by a strong and positive woman. Her mother is the best thing about the book. Their relationship was well written and moving.
The big letdown was the main character herself. It's not that she was flawed, but that she learnt nothing from her past mistakes and did not grow as a character. Her relationship with the wrong man was dragged on tediously while the ending was resolved at a rushed pace like the author coming to the realisation that she was fast reaching the limit of her word count limit.
This is an ARC from NetGalley.
March 10, 2020
I liked it but I was expecting something more emotional story than this. Also when I read a 2nd chance story I like to see main characters together a couple of times or more so. But in this book I was kept waiting to Ben shows up.
Don't get me wrong, this wasn't a bad story at all but after somewhere along the way I got lost. But still I don't regret for reading it.
***ARC provided via NetGalley.
Don't get me wrong, this wasn't a bad story at all but after somewhere along the way I got lost. But still I don't regret for reading it.
***ARC provided via NetGalley.
April 24, 2020
Most people in life look for closure and that is exactly what Jem needed. Everything was going against her, but one of the most difficult things she dealt with was a previous breakup. So Jem writes a letter to Ben, and discussed things of the past, including serious issues she kept from him.
As this emotional read by Anna Mansell begins, Jem's letter to Ben begins, and the reader meets her at 38 years of age, single for about a year. However, her life seems to have come to a full stop. Will she be able to move on, with everything happening, including the fact that her mother now has cancer?
I was drawn into Jem's story from the very beginning, more so with her heart being on the line. She doesn't always land on her feet, sometimes exercising questionable judgment, but what she was is a woman completely relatable and that is what I think I enjoyed most about this story. Having her close friend Leanne by her side throughout the changes in her life was a nice element to this book. Having lost my mother to cancer I was really drawn into Jem's relationship with her mother during this difficult time.
While this is my first book by Ms. Mansell I will say she has definitely caught my interest in the story as well as her engaging writing. I look forward to reading her next book.
Many thanks to Bookouture and to NetGalley for this ARC for review. This is my honest opinion.
As this emotional read by Anna Mansell begins, Jem's letter to Ben begins, and the reader meets her at 38 years of age, single for about a year. However, her life seems to have come to a full stop. Will she be able to move on, with everything happening, including the fact that her mother now has cancer?
I was drawn into Jem's story from the very beginning, more so with her heart being on the line. She doesn't always land on her feet, sometimes exercising questionable judgment, but what she was is a woman completely relatable and that is what I think I enjoyed most about this story. Having her close friend Leanne by her side throughout the changes in her life was a nice element to this book. Having lost my mother to cancer I was really drawn into Jem's relationship with her mother during this difficult time.
While this is my first book by Ms. Mansell I will say she has definitely caught my interest in the story as well as her engaging writing. I look forward to reading her next book.
Many thanks to Bookouture and to NetGalley for this ARC for review. This is my honest opinion.
February 26, 2020
This book had many emotional sections in it and I really loved the friendship between Jem and Leanne. They were always there for each other, no matter what. The mother/daughter bond between Jem and her mom who was battling cancer was very touching as well. Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for this early release in exchange for my honest review.
February 22, 2020
This was one of the most different books that I have read this year. The story evoked all my emotions. There were times I wanted to scream at the main character and times when I wanted to hug her. I didn't do any of those things. But I did cry with her in some of the chapters in the end and cheered her on when she stood up for herself.
Anna Mansell has written a book, direct and real, covered in truth, without sugar coating it. The book started with a letter Jem wrote to her ex Ben which was never meant to be posted. It then told me her story as she got back to life and Tinder dating and found someone who seemed to treat her well. Her mum was fatally ill, and only her friendship with Leanne kept her sane. Until she got to know a few truths. About herself. About others.
The story was a journey of revelations and emotions. The characters were all different, some were genuine, some wore masks, but it was Jem and her mother who caught my eye. Their relationship was loving, their bond was deep and filled with humor and tears. They were so strong, even they never saw it for themselves. I could see it.
It was the last 20% of the book which made the story sparkle. I went through a gamut of emotions along with Jem. I smiled through my tears seeing how far Jem had come in life. My respect for her increased, and I was so happy I got to read her story.
A heart wrenching read in some ways, a delight in all ways.
P. S. My only niggle was the main character drank and drank and drank. I don't drink so I found it difficult to relate to but understood her reasons much later in the story
Anna Mansell has written a book, direct and real, covered in truth, without sugar coating it. The book started with a letter Jem wrote to her ex Ben which was never meant to be posted. It then told me her story as she got back to life and Tinder dating and found someone who seemed to treat her well. Her mum was fatally ill, and only her friendship with Leanne kept her sane. Until she got to know a few truths. About herself. About others.
The story was a journey of revelations and emotions. The characters were all different, some were genuine, some wore masks, but it was Jem and her mother who caught my eye. Their relationship was loving, their bond was deep and filled with humor and tears. They were so strong, even they never saw it for themselves. I could see it.
It was the last 20% of the book which made the story sparkle. I went through a gamut of emotions along with Jem. I smiled through my tears seeing how far Jem had come in life. My respect for her increased, and I was so happy I got to read her story.
A heart wrenching read in some ways, a delight in all ways.
P. S. My only niggle was the main character drank and drank and drank. I don't drink so I found it difficult to relate to but understood her reasons much later in the story
September 29, 2020
I was so very impressed by this story that when I turned the last page, my first instinct was to go search out every other thing Anna Mansell has written. I found myself immersed in the story, forgetting that I was even reading. These days, that's a major accomplishment. I absolutely loved Jem's story because it was so real. For anyone who has struggled with doubts about themselves and their motivations and their own truth, you will feel this one deep inside. I suppose there are people who will look at Jem and want to smack her, tell her to stop being a victim and living in her guilt. Quit whining and move one. But, as I mentioned, anyone who has ever lived this will get her and understand her journey. And what a journey it was. Talk about out of the frying pan into the fire!! I, like Jem, did not want to see the signs and believe what was happening. Even when presented with overwhelming evidence, you stuff down that voice inside of you that's trying so hard to let you know something isn't right. But she didn't trust herself, she hadn't forgiven herself, and she hadn't yet finished the journey she needed to take!!
March 6, 2020
In today's world, we find many examples of toxic relationships and narcissism. In The man I Loved Before, Jem has realized because of her own toxic behavior, she has lost the only man who ever really loved her, Ben. Shattered and heartbroken, she tries to heal by writing a letter to Ben which she plans to burn in a symbolic gesture of moving on. However, her mother finds the letter and thinking she is helping Jem, mails it to Ben. Jem is doing a lot better now but she panics when she thinks about Ben getting that last reminder of her. As she tries to sort that out, her mother, who was in remission from a rare form of cancer, gets sick again. While dealing with that, Jem meets someone new who she thinks she could actually love. But as she moves forward in her new life with her best friend, Leanne, helping her, she finds herself wondering if she is making the right decision regarding who gets her heart in the end.
I loved the friendship Jem shared with Leanne. As a woman, it is important to have a special friend who will always be there for you. Someone who you can tell anything without being judged. They each did that for each other perfectly with a lot of humor thrown in.
Another relationship I adored was Jem's with her mother, Val. She referred to them as a team and it certainly felt like it. They were so close and when Val got sick again, Jem showed a strength that made me proud. Reading about Mitch, I saw some signs about what was going to unfold early. I guess it's because I recently experienced that myself so it was not surprising to see.
This book was a beautiful book to read. I laughed loud at some points, cried at some and smiled at others. I got so angry at Jem sometimes but she grew so beautifully throughout this book that I found myself cheering for her especially nearer to the end. It was a truly moving story to which many women would be able to relate.
Suitable audience: This book is suited to women who love romance stories but it also has much more. It is definitely 'chick lit.'
Recurrent themes: Forgiveness. Lost love. New beginnings. Death. Cancer. Friendship.
Violence: Two men nearly fight
Sexual Content: Sex is talked about very openly and is described in detail when it happens
Profanity: Many instances of obscenities
Religious Themes: None
Alcohol/Drugs/Smoking: The main character drinks a lot!
I loved the friendship Jem shared with Leanne. As a woman, it is important to have a special friend who will always be there for you. Someone who you can tell anything without being judged. They each did that for each other perfectly with a lot of humor thrown in.
Another relationship I adored was Jem's with her mother, Val. She referred to them as a team and it certainly felt like it. They were so close and when Val got sick again, Jem showed a strength that made me proud. Reading about Mitch, I saw some signs about what was going to unfold early. I guess it's because I recently experienced that myself so it was not surprising to see.
This book was a beautiful book to read. I laughed loud at some points, cried at some and smiled at others. I got so angry at Jem sometimes but she grew so beautifully throughout this book that I found myself cheering for her especially nearer to the end. It was a truly moving story to which many women would be able to relate.
Suitable audience: This book is suited to women who love romance stories but it also has much more. It is definitely 'chick lit.'
Recurrent themes: Forgiveness. Lost love. New beginnings. Death. Cancer. Friendship.
Violence: Two men nearly fight
Sexual Content: Sex is talked about very openly and is described in detail when it happens
Profanity: Many instances of obscenities
Religious Themes: None
Alcohol/Drugs/Smoking: The main character drinks a lot!
March 6, 2020
'The Man I Loved Before' told of one woman's emergence from the ruins of her crumbling world. Within a year of losing her career, her boyfriend, and her house, Jem goes home to her terminally ill mother and begins to rebuild her life.
I appreciated the sensitive handling of some very weighty subject matters but felt that Jem gained a positive outlook via convenient circumstances rather than personal growth.
Although the title and blurb suggested that this was a story about a woman torn between two lives/two loves, it was not. All conflicts were resolved on their own as if they were checked off a list. With a step outside of the author's comfort zone, I think this story has the potential to be great.
Thank you to NetGalley, Bookouture, and Anna Mansell for an ARC of 'The Man I Loved Before' in exchange for an honest and voluntary review.
I appreciated the sensitive handling of some very weighty subject matters but felt that Jem gained a positive outlook via convenient circumstances rather than personal growth.
Although the title and blurb suggested that this was a story about a woman torn between two lives/two loves, it was not. All conflicts were resolved on their own as if they were checked off a list. With a step outside of the author's comfort zone, I think this story has the potential to be great.
Thank you to NetGalley, Bookouture, and Anna Mansell for an ARC of 'The Man I Loved Before' in exchange for an honest and voluntary review.
March 8, 2020
This is the second book I have read by this author. I loved her book The Lost Wife so I was excited to receive this ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Sadly it did not quite live up to my expectations.
To be honest,for a large part of the book I was totally frustrated with the character Jem and I found the story very slow. Jem’s character was not very nice so I struggled to empathise with her situation. I also disliked the constant way she seemed to use alcohol as a crutch.
But I liked the relationship Jem had with her mother and her best friend. Their tight bonds were admirable and the way Jem handled her mothers’ last days was emotional.
Overall it was an ok book but not for me. 3 stars
Sadly it did not quite live up to my expectations.
To be honest,for a large part of the book I was totally frustrated with the character Jem and I found the story very slow. Jem’s character was not very nice so I struggled to empathise with her situation. I also disliked the constant way she seemed to use alcohol as a crutch.
But I liked the relationship Jem had with her mother and her best friend. Their tight bonds were admirable and the way Jem handled her mothers’ last days was emotional.
Overall it was an ok book but not for me. 3 stars
June 20, 2020
I honestly have no idea why I requested this book because I am not a fan of women's fiction. I can only assume it was the premise that attracted me because it did sound appealing however, the actual delivery did not. I'm not saying the book failed...just that it did for me.
I honestly did not like Jem. The woman is a walking nightmare. The probable new man in her life got it right when he christened her "Calamity Jem"...because that is indeed what she is. She spends the entire time second guessing herself in all shapes and sizes, over-analysing just about every choice she has made, will make or didn't make.
To make matters worse, she writes a letter to her ex, Ben, detailing every bad thing she has ever done knowing that he will never read it. That is, until her ever helpful and wonderful mother posts it. So what does Jem do? Stakes out the wrong post box to try and grab the letter when the post van comes to empty the box. But mum was going uptown and posted it elsewhere so that by the time Jem arrives, it's too late. Then what does she do? Goes to the post office to try and get it back. Of course they aren't going to just give her a letter addressed to someone else!
So what else is there left for Calamity Jem to do? I know! Let's jump in a barely reliable twenty year old car and drive 6 hours from Derbyshire to Cornwall and intercept it before it reaches Ben! Great idea!!
So here's Jem, making her way down to Cornwall, when she realises this may not be a great idea after all. I mean, Ben did state when he left her a year ago that he never wanted to see her again...so why was she driving hundreds of miles to where he moved to - a place "they" had dreamed of settling together - to try and intercept a letter she still has no legal right to? Does she think the postie is just going to hand it over to her? Er...no.
Then Jem arrives in Cornwall. And what does she do? It's late, the mail won't be delivered till the morning, she goes to the pub. And gets herself three sheets to the wind and ends up sleeping in her car. Why? Because it's the height of the holiday season and there are no accommodation vacancies anywhere in St Ives...and probably all of Cornwall, for that matter.
So the next morning she stakes out Ben's place and is so shocked to see the front door open and a woman with the baby walk out calling "I love you, babe" and Ben appearing in the doorway for the said woman to give him a parting kiss, that she slinks into an alleyway...and misses the post being delivered. Well, that was a giant waste of time and a shedload of money spent on fuel for a 12 hour round trip that produced precisely nothing! So Jem jumps back in her car and drives back to Derbyshire, which seems to take a lot less longer than it did to get there.
Meanwhile, her best friend Leanne had set Jem up on Tinder, declaring it was time she moved on and got on with her life. Leanne was surprised to see someone they knew from school over twenty years ago on there and when Jem wasn't looking, she swiped right. Next thing she knew, Jem was getting a message from this Mitch Black from school. Coincidentally, after leaving Leanne's in an attempt to get back the letter that should never have been posted, she bumped into Mitch at the post office that afternoon. They exchanged numbers and a promise to catch up for coffee when she returned from her mysterious trip...ie. Cornwall.
Jem was so focused on her own problems that she failed to see anything else. And her obsession over self-analyising and over thinking irritated me. This is a grown woman of 38 whose life is an apparent train wreck. She should know better. She should be married with two point four kids. I did, however, enjoy her banter with Mitch. It was entertaining and at least took the focus off Jem herself.
I'm not sure what THE MAN I LOVED BEFORE was meant to be about or address, but as I'm not a fan of chick lit/women's fiction it completely missed its mark with me. And honestly I didn't have the patience to stick with the book to find out Jem's backstory of why Ben left her, why she lost her job and why she ended up bankrupt. In the end, I didn't care enough to stick around to find out.
Having said that, THE MAN I LOVED BEFORE will appeal to plenty of other readers. Just not me. I wish I could get into it but after over a quarter of the book and still I'd rather gouge my eyes out than put up with any more. The pace of the book was as slow as the traffic on the A30 on Bodmin. So slow that Jem had to turn her engine off. That slow. I didn't see it going anywhere after 30%, so I gave up and left it there.
I would like to thank #AnnaMansell, #NetGalley and #Bookouture for an ARC of #TheManILovedBefore in exchange for an honest review.
This review appears on my blog at https://stinathebookaholic.blogspot.com/.
I honestly did not like Jem. The woman is a walking nightmare. The probable new man in her life got it right when he christened her "Calamity Jem"...because that is indeed what she is. She spends the entire time second guessing herself in all shapes and sizes, over-analysing just about every choice she has made, will make or didn't make.
To make matters worse, she writes a letter to her ex, Ben, detailing every bad thing she has ever done knowing that he will never read it. That is, until her ever helpful and wonderful mother posts it. So what does Jem do? Stakes out the wrong post box to try and grab the letter when the post van comes to empty the box. But mum was going uptown and posted it elsewhere so that by the time Jem arrives, it's too late. Then what does she do? Goes to the post office to try and get it back. Of course they aren't going to just give her a letter addressed to someone else!
So what else is there left for Calamity Jem to do? I know! Let's jump in a barely reliable twenty year old car and drive 6 hours from Derbyshire to Cornwall and intercept it before it reaches Ben! Great idea!!
So here's Jem, making her way down to Cornwall, when she realises this may not be a great idea after all. I mean, Ben did state when he left her a year ago that he never wanted to see her again...so why was she driving hundreds of miles to where he moved to - a place "they" had dreamed of settling together - to try and intercept a letter she still has no legal right to? Does she think the postie is just going to hand it over to her? Er...no.
Then Jem arrives in Cornwall. And what does she do? It's late, the mail won't be delivered till the morning, she goes to the pub. And gets herself three sheets to the wind and ends up sleeping in her car. Why? Because it's the height of the holiday season and there are no accommodation vacancies anywhere in St Ives...and probably all of Cornwall, for that matter.
So the next morning she stakes out Ben's place and is so shocked to see the front door open and a woman with the baby walk out calling "I love you, babe" and Ben appearing in the doorway for the said woman to give him a parting kiss, that she slinks into an alleyway...and misses the post being delivered. Well, that was a giant waste of time and a shedload of money spent on fuel for a 12 hour round trip that produced precisely nothing! So Jem jumps back in her car and drives back to Derbyshire, which seems to take a lot less longer than it did to get there.
Meanwhile, her best friend Leanne had set Jem up on Tinder, declaring it was time she moved on and got on with her life. Leanne was surprised to see someone they knew from school over twenty years ago on there and when Jem wasn't looking, she swiped right. Next thing she knew, Jem was getting a message from this Mitch Black from school. Coincidentally, after leaving Leanne's in an attempt to get back the letter that should never have been posted, she bumped into Mitch at the post office that afternoon. They exchanged numbers and a promise to catch up for coffee when she returned from her mysterious trip...ie. Cornwall.
Jem was so focused on her own problems that she failed to see anything else. And her obsession over self-analyising and over thinking irritated me. This is a grown woman of 38 whose life is an apparent train wreck. She should know better. She should be married with two point four kids. I did, however, enjoy her banter with Mitch. It was entertaining and at least took the focus off Jem herself.
I'm not sure what THE MAN I LOVED BEFORE was meant to be about or address, but as I'm not a fan of chick lit/women's fiction it completely missed its mark with me. And honestly I didn't have the patience to stick with the book to find out Jem's backstory of why Ben left her, why she lost her job and why she ended up bankrupt. In the end, I didn't care enough to stick around to find out.
Having said that, THE MAN I LOVED BEFORE will appeal to plenty of other readers. Just not me. I wish I could get into it but after over a quarter of the book and still I'd rather gouge my eyes out than put up with any more. The pace of the book was as slow as the traffic on the A30 on Bodmin. So slow that Jem had to turn her engine off. That slow. I didn't see it going anywhere after 30%, so I gave up and left it there.
I would like to thank #AnnaMansell, #NetGalley and #Bookouture for an ARC of #TheManILovedBefore in exchange for an honest review.
This review appears on my blog at https://stinathebookaholic.blogspot.com/.
March 12, 2020
I adored The Man I Loved Before. The story focuses on Jem. She writes her ex, Ben a letter, knowing he’ll never read it she feels she can apologise for everything. It’s fine, she’s going to burn the letter after all, until her mum finds it and posts it to him causing Jem to start questioning both her past and her future. Brilliantly written, this book covers, love, loss, illness and trying to make amends for mistakes Jem has made. I can highly recommend this book and would rate it 4.5 stars.
Thank you to NetGalley, Bookouture and the author for the chance to review.
Thank you to NetGalley, Bookouture and the author for the chance to review.
February 8, 2020
I'm not crying..you're crying.
Omg what a touching book. Couldn't put this one down. Drew me in and lived each and every one of the characters. Having dealt with cancer myself and in my family this one hit close to home. Was honored to have an early copy of this fantastic book.
Thanks to net galley and the publisher for an early release.
Omg what a touching book. Couldn't put this one down. Drew me in and lived each and every one of the characters. Having dealt with cancer myself and in my family this one hit close to home. Was honored to have an early copy of this fantastic book.
Thanks to net galley and the publisher for an early release.
March 9, 2020
This is such a wonderful book. It is an emotional rollercoaster which at times had me laughing and other times reaching for my tissues.
You fall into this story and immediately feel you are reading a story straight from the heart. Enthralling!
This review is being shared as part of the blog tour by Bookouture Annonymous! My sincere thanks to BOOKOUTURE and NETGALLEY for the opportunity to read and review ‘THE MAN I LOVED BEFORE’ by ANNA MANSELL.
All opinions are my own and not biased in anyway.
All my reviews can be found on my blog momobookdiary
You fall into this story and immediately feel you are reading a story straight from the heart. Enthralling!
This review is being shared as part of the blog tour by Bookouture Annonymous! My sincere thanks to BOOKOUTURE and NETGALLEY for the opportunity to read and review ‘THE MAN I LOVED BEFORE’ by ANNA MANSELL.
All opinions are my own and not biased in anyway.
All my reviews can be found on my blog momobookdiary
February 15, 2020
"The Man I Loved Before" is the first book I have read by Anna Mansell.
Jem is the main character in this book. You follow her over a period of time and you slowly learn of her past and future. Her mum's illness comes to the forefront of the story and brings a little reality check for all of us.
I first felt like the book was definitely chic-lit, It had me laughing and smiling a lot at the situations Jem got herself into. Then Mansell turned serious and had a little psychological thing going with Mitch. But it was Ben who had me burning for more with Jem. Her letter, when finally revealed, was heartbreaking. There were more than a few passages that I felt like Mansell had written just for me. Jem's mum gives some great advice.
Overall, I liked the book. I got a little bored in the middle and was kind of wondering where Mansell was taking us with the Mitch story line. But it all clicked after a while. Mansell did a great job making Jem so likable and Mitch an unlikable man. I liked her writing style and read the book fairly quickly. I would recommend this book to others and will definitely look for her other works. Special thanks to NetGalley, Bookouture, and Anna Mansell for the advance digital copy in exchange for my honest opinion.
#TheManILovedBefore #NetGalley
Jem is the main character in this book. You follow her over a period of time and you slowly learn of her past and future. Her mum's illness comes to the forefront of the story and brings a little reality check for all of us.
I first felt like the book was definitely chic-lit, It had me laughing and smiling a lot at the situations Jem got herself into. Then Mansell turned serious and had a little psychological thing going with Mitch. But it was Ben who had me burning for more with Jem. Her letter, when finally revealed, was heartbreaking. There were more than a few passages that I felt like Mansell had written just for me. Jem's mum gives some great advice.
Overall, I liked the book. I got a little bored in the middle and was kind of wondering where Mansell was taking us with the Mitch story line. But it all clicked after a while. Mansell did a great job making Jem so likable and Mitch an unlikable man. I liked her writing style and read the book fairly quickly. I would recommend this book to others and will definitely look for her other works. Special thanks to NetGalley, Bookouture, and Anna Mansell for the advance digital copy in exchange for my honest opinion.
#TheManILovedBefore #NetGalley
October 26, 2020
I'm a bit at a loss as to how to rate this book, because I was left feeling ambivalent and wishing the story would go on just a little longer, because I just wasn't convinced yet.
I'll explain in a moment.
This story is told in first person with the heroine as the sole narrator. It is more Women's fiction, although there is a quasi-romance arc within the main story that ups the drama. It's compelling, engaging, very well written - and the first book in ages that I haven't skimmed or skipped through. Or just gave up on.
This writer is talented and knows how to spin a yarn.
I'm having difficulty rating this because I honestly loathed the heroine, Jemima, or Jem as she was called. I really disliked her hard and although I know that one of the main elements of the plot is how f*cked up she is and what a mess she's made of her life, it didn't soften my feelings. I understand that the central moral of the story is that people are flawed - sometimes deeply - but that sometimes they can get their shit together when it really matters. But if Ms. Mansell's intent was to create a relatable, sympathetic heroine, it simply didn't resonate with this reader. There has to be some redeeming thing, some quality that would endear me to such a screwed up protagonist, and there just wasn't.
Jem was 38 years old and had managed to completely implode her life. She was a drunk with severe daddy-abandonment issues who eventually managed to alienate damn near everyone who cared for her. Her ex, Ben, who was truly the love of her life, despised her enough to up sticks and move 6 hours away, telling her to stay away from him and that he never wanted to see her again. That's some harsh shite, that is - but she deserved it. She really was awful, but paradoxically not in a malicious way. She wasn't evil, but she was careless, childishly impulsive and irresponsible. She was on such a pity party she was too self-absorbed - and usually too sozzled - to consider anyone's feelings or appreciate the consequences of her actions. She was needy in a way that was exhausting and her actions drove people away. Then she had tremendous guilt and felt sorry afterwards, but instead of doing better she continued along her self-destructive path.
And omg, all the drinking! She should have had alcohol poisoning a time or two with what she put away. What a bloody lush.
And good grief, but was she STUPID. Not organically, but in her decisions and actions and straight-up denial at times when the proof couldn't be more plain. If she'd been a real person I would have slapped some sense into her. She got into some situations that just made me cringe, really did some truly hurtful things to people throughout most of her life - and poor Ben. What she did to that guy. How he could love her as much as he did is beyond comprehension. Then she always felt guilty but was only concerned with how that made HER feel instead of how she'd made everyone else feel. She'd want their forgiveness to make herself feel better, instead of owning her actions and being sorry for how she'd made them feel.
Ugh. I could go on, but suffice to say Jem was a very complex, frustrating character.
Yes, she did eventually grasp that it wasn't all about her. She stopped wallowing, cleaned up her act and got sober, started pulling her life together on her own instead of sucking others dry. But it took a heartbreaking loss and more or less being catfished by a con man to bring her round. And it was too close to the end for me to be convinced.
The one thing I needed more of was Ben. This was a long story and the 'man' in the title is Ben himself. But he only makes four brief appearances. And the ending was relatively happy but I wouldn't call it HEA. It's definitely left open. Not like sequel open but there's no resolution like you'd have in a romance novel.
I did very much enjoy the story, even when I was grinding my teeth and cursing at Jem for being slovenly, drunk, foolish, selfish, blind, etc. The book made me feel. People say that's the sign of a good writer and while I will grant that for THIS book, I generally disagree with that opinion. There are loads of books that have made me feel, mostly disgust and anger at how rubbish they are and how clueless the writers are.
I'd be more inclined to rate this a 4 or 4.5 were it not for Jem. The character development was there but it came too little, too late for me. I needed a bit more.
So, 3.5 it is.
I highly recommend this book, but with warnings attached. Obviously, for the frustrating heroine. But there are also a few triggers. Portrayal of alcohol abuse and frequently intoxicated characters. Miscarriage, possibly due to alcohol abuse. Death of a loved one via cancer. Possible cheating (heroine).
I'll explain in a moment.
This story is told in first person with the heroine as the sole narrator. It is more Women's fiction, although there is a quasi-romance arc within the main story that ups the drama. It's compelling, engaging, very well written - and the first book in ages that I haven't skimmed or skipped through. Or just gave up on.
This writer is talented and knows how to spin a yarn.
I'm having difficulty rating this because I honestly loathed the heroine, Jemima, or Jem as she was called. I really disliked her hard and although I know that one of the main elements of the plot is how f*cked up she is and what a mess she's made of her life, it didn't soften my feelings. I understand that the central moral of the story is that people are flawed - sometimes deeply - but that sometimes they can get their shit together when it really matters. But if Ms. Mansell's intent was to create a relatable, sympathetic heroine, it simply didn't resonate with this reader. There has to be some redeeming thing, some quality that would endear me to such a screwed up protagonist, and there just wasn't.
Jem was 38 years old and had managed to completely implode her life. She was a drunk with severe daddy-abandonment issues who eventually managed to alienate damn near everyone who cared for her. Her ex, Ben, who was truly the love of her life, despised her enough to up sticks and move 6 hours away, telling her to stay away from him and that he never wanted to see her again. That's some harsh shite, that is - but she deserved it. She really was awful, but paradoxically not in a malicious way. She wasn't evil, but she was careless, childishly impulsive and irresponsible. She was on such a pity party she was too self-absorbed - and usually too sozzled - to consider anyone's feelings or appreciate the consequences of her actions. She was needy in a way that was exhausting and her actions drove people away. Then she had tremendous guilt and felt sorry afterwards, but instead of doing better she continued along her self-destructive path.
And omg, all the drinking! She should have had alcohol poisoning a time or two with what she put away. What a bloody lush.
And good grief, but was she STUPID. Not organically, but in her decisions and actions and straight-up denial at times when the proof couldn't be more plain. If she'd been a real person I would have slapped some sense into her. She got into some situations that just made me cringe, really did some truly hurtful things to people throughout most of her life - and poor Ben. What she did to that guy. How he could love her as much as he did is beyond comprehension. Then she always felt guilty but was only concerned with how that made HER feel instead of how she'd made everyone else feel. She'd want their forgiveness to make herself feel better, instead of owning her actions and being sorry for how she'd made them feel.
Ugh. I could go on, but suffice to say Jem was a very complex, frustrating character.
Yes, she did eventually grasp that it wasn't all about her. She stopped wallowing, cleaned up her act and got sober, started pulling her life together on her own instead of sucking others dry. But it took a heartbreaking loss and more or less being catfished by a con man to bring her round. And it was too close to the end for me to be convinced.
The one thing I needed more of was Ben. This was a long story and the 'man' in the title is Ben himself. But he only makes four brief appearances. And the ending was relatively happy but I wouldn't call it HEA. It's definitely left open. Not like sequel open but there's no resolution like you'd have in a romance novel.
I did very much enjoy the story, even when I was grinding my teeth and cursing at Jem for being slovenly, drunk, foolish, selfish, blind, etc. The book made me feel. People say that's the sign of a good writer and while I will grant that for THIS book, I generally disagree with that opinion. There are loads of books that have made me feel, mostly disgust and anger at how rubbish they are and how clueless the writers are.
I'd be more inclined to rate this a 4 or 4.5 were it not for Jem. The character development was there but it came too little, too late for me. I needed a bit more.
So, 3.5 it is.
I highly recommend this book, but with warnings attached. Obviously, for the frustrating heroine. But there are also a few triggers. Portrayal of alcohol abuse and frequently intoxicated characters. Miscarriage, possibly due to alcohol abuse. Death of a loved one via cancer. Possible cheating (heroine).
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 3, 2020
Once again, Anna Mansell has evoked more emotions than I knew were in me while reading one of her novels! I just finished The Man I Loved Before which releases next week, and it was amazing.
Jem has lost the love of her life, Ben, because of a string of poor choices and her relationship challenges. When he couldn't take her crap anymore, he picked up and moved 6 hours away. Jem has since lost her job, her home, her money, and is living with her mom (who has been battling cancer off and on). In an effort to try to move past everything that happened with Ben, Jem writes a letter confessing everything she did wrong while they were together, all of the things that she still has not forgiven herself for. Jem plans to burn the letter as a symbol of letting go and moving on, however, her mother finds the letter and thinking she is being helpful, mails it to Ben. That very same day, Jem's best friend, Leanne, signs Jem up for Tinder, sets up her profile, and swipes right to a man, Mitch that they went to school with but haven't seen in years.
This is not a lighthearted novel. Not at all. Mansell's trademark fabulous conversation and banter are scattered throughout, but the subject matter is pretty heavy. Topics covered in this book include alcoholism, cancer, emotional abuse, financial issues, miscarriage, and much more. There are certainly a ton of laugh out loud moments, but there are some moments that will you reach for the Kleenex also. What I love about The Man I Loved Before (and all of Mansell's novels) is although the plot is always unique and intriguing, her books are so incredibly character-driven. Which brings me to Jem.
Jem is such a fantastic character! Unfortunately, I see so much of my younger self (and some times my current self) in Jem. Don't get me wrong, she's funny, caring, attractive, smart, and so on. But she is also incredibly hard on herself, stuck in unhealthy cycles of self-sabotage, reaches the for the bottle a bit too much, and often times does not trust in herself at all. Whether it's from the things revealed in her letter to Ben or current things in the novel involving her relationships with Mitch or Leanne, Jem does some things that will make you cringe. Maybe you will feel bad for her or maybe you will be put off by her bad decisions. I assure you, however, that you will root for her. You will want her to find happiness in every aspect of her life. You will hate it when she is sad, and you will cheer when something good happens.
Overall, this is just a beautiful, well-written, all-consuming novel. There was absolutely nothing about it that I did not love and highly, highly recommend this one. Anyone that has ever loved and lost, anyone that has ever tried to move on, and anyone that has watched a loved one battle an illness will find so many ways that they relate to this novel. But most importantly I recommend this to anyone that is still struggling to forgive themselves for the past and move forward with their lives.
This author blows me away every time!
*Thank you to NetGalley and Bookouture for providing this advanced copy in exchange for my honest opinion,
Jem has lost the love of her life, Ben, because of a string of poor choices and her relationship challenges. When he couldn't take her crap anymore, he picked up and moved 6 hours away. Jem has since lost her job, her home, her money, and is living with her mom (who has been battling cancer off and on). In an effort to try to move past everything that happened with Ben, Jem writes a letter confessing everything she did wrong while they were together, all of the things that she still has not forgiven herself for. Jem plans to burn the letter as a symbol of letting go and moving on, however, her mother finds the letter and thinking she is being helpful, mails it to Ben. That very same day, Jem's best friend, Leanne, signs Jem up for Tinder, sets up her profile, and swipes right to a man, Mitch that they went to school with but haven't seen in years.
This is not a lighthearted novel. Not at all. Mansell's trademark fabulous conversation and banter are scattered throughout, but the subject matter is pretty heavy. Topics covered in this book include alcoholism, cancer, emotional abuse, financial issues, miscarriage, and much more. There are certainly a ton of laugh out loud moments, but there are some moments that will you reach for the Kleenex also. What I love about The Man I Loved Before (and all of Mansell's novels) is although the plot is always unique and intriguing, her books are so incredibly character-driven. Which brings me to Jem.
Jem is such a fantastic character! Unfortunately, I see so much of my younger self (and some times my current self) in Jem. Don't get me wrong, she's funny, caring, attractive, smart, and so on. But she is also incredibly hard on herself, stuck in unhealthy cycles of self-sabotage, reaches the for the bottle a bit too much, and often times does not trust in herself at all. Whether it's from the things revealed in her letter to Ben or current things in the novel involving her relationships with Mitch or Leanne, Jem does some things that will make you cringe. Maybe you will feel bad for her or maybe you will be put off by her bad decisions. I assure you, however, that you will root for her. You will want her to find happiness in every aspect of her life. You will hate it when she is sad, and you will cheer when something good happens.
Overall, this is just a beautiful, well-written, all-consuming novel. There was absolutely nothing about it that I did not love and highly, highly recommend this one. Anyone that has ever loved and lost, anyone that has ever tried to move on, and anyone that has watched a loved one battle an illness will find so many ways that they relate to this novel. But most importantly I recommend this to anyone that is still struggling to forgive themselves for the past and move forward with their lives.
This author blows me away every time!
*Thank you to NetGalley and Bookouture for providing this advanced copy in exchange for my honest opinion,
March 8, 2020
First, I want to thank Anna Mansell, Bookouture and NetGalley for providing me with this book so I may bring you this review.
WOW!! Anna Mansell you are now one of my go to authors after reading The Man I Loved Before!! Anna’s book is full of suspense, heartache, a bond between mother and her daughter, and some laugh out loud moments.
This book is dedicated to Maggie: from a casual conversation on the sofa in December 2018, to a real-life book we can hold in our hands, March 2020. Proof that hard work, self-belief and patience pays off.
Right off the bat I was hooked into the storyline. She starts off by writing a letter to her ex Ben who we have no idea why he is an ex. Throughout the storyline we get a little glimpse into the letter. However, Anna knows it will be killing her readers as it did me what the real reason for.
This is one book I felt like I could totally relate to Jemina. Her breakup with Ben, her not being able to move on a year later, her wanting to make things right again. I think most women can relate to how she was feeling. Anna pulled out all of Jemina’s emotions where Ben is concerned.
Anna cracked me up so many times in this book and made me smile at other times. The conversation over finding a new man on Twitter cracked me up! I have been known to try it now and then. After reading this book I am glad I am not on it and single!! However, like Jemina in the book I too ran into my online match. It was very awkward. I totally felt for Jemina.
Amazing music groups mentioned in this book!! Anna has great taste.
This book wasn’t just about jilted love. It was also about the bond between a daughter and her mother. Anna was very passionate about their relationship as it was near and dear to her heart.
Overall, this book is about forgiveness, letting go of the past, trying to move on, and be careful who you meet online.
WOW!! Anna Mansell you are now one of my go to authors after reading The Man I Loved Before!! Anna’s book is full of suspense, heartache, a bond between mother and her daughter, and some laugh out loud moments.
This book is dedicated to Maggie: from a casual conversation on the sofa in December 2018, to a real-life book we can hold in our hands, March 2020. Proof that hard work, self-belief and patience pays off.
Right off the bat I was hooked into the storyline. She starts off by writing a letter to her ex Ben who we have no idea why he is an ex. Throughout the storyline we get a little glimpse into the letter. However, Anna knows it will be killing her readers as it did me what the real reason for.
This is one book I felt like I could totally relate to Jemina. Her breakup with Ben, her not being able to move on a year later, her wanting to make things right again. I think most women can relate to how she was feeling. Anna pulled out all of Jemina’s emotions where Ben is concerned.
Anna cracked me up so many times in this book and made me smile at other times. The conversation over finding a new man on Twitter cracked me up! I have been known to try it now and then. After reading this book I am glad I am not on it and single!! However, like Jemina in the book I too ran into my online match. It was very awkward. I totally felt for Jemina.
Amazing music groups mentioned in this book!! Anna has great taste.
This book wasn’t just about jilted love. It was also about the bond between a daughter and her mother. Anna was very passionate about their relationship as it was near and dear to her heart.
Overall, this book is about forgiveness, letting go of the past, trying to move on, and be careful who you meet online.
March 9, 2020
The Man I Loved Before is a good little book. I honestly thought it would be something different than what was actually written but I enjoyed, for the most part, Jem Whitfield's journey to a becoming a better person. She's got a slew of issues concerning her failed marriage, her mother's declining health, and her being stuck without a plan to move forward. The author is very wordy, which at times had me skimming more than a few pages, since the extraneous and repetitive descriptions of her failures in life were a bit much. But the wit and sharp banter between Jem and her bestie Leanne, not to mention the great moments with her Mum, added a sweet nature to an otherwise messy kind of existence. I appreciated that Jem could still have a sense of humor when things were going south and fast.
Although Jem's decisions of the heart were not always the best, I was thrilled when she finally kicked the needy Mitch to the curb and stood up for herself and was genuinely remorseful to those she hurt most. Her drinking was definitely a huge issue and my hope that she wouldn't succumb to a bottle of alcohol wasn't for naught.
At one point, I figured that Mitch would get even more unhinged and the book would go in a different direction. That part felt off to me. And although things did get better with Ben, I think I needed a bit more between Jem and her ex.
Overall, it's an enjoyable read but I'm not 100 percent sure I love the more open endings, without a true epilogue. Giving the reader that little glimpse into what could be but not allowing us to see a true HEA. But at least Jem figured out her life for the most part and it seems she's at last on the right path to happiness.
3 stars.
Although Jem's decisions of the heart were not always the best, I was thrilled when she finally kicked the needy Mitch to the curb and stood up for herself and was genuinely remorseful to those she hurt most. Her drinking was definitely a huge issue and my hope that she wouldn't succumb to a bottle of alcohol wasn't for naught.
At one point, I figured that Mitch would get even more unhinged and the book would go in a different direction. That part felt off to me. And although things did get better with Ben, I think I needed a bit more between Jem and her ex.
Overall, it's an enjoyable read but I'm not 100 percent sure I love the more open endings, without a true epilogue. Giving the reader that little glimpse into what could be but not allowing us to see a true HEA. But at least Jem figured out her life for the most part and it seems she's at last on the right path to happiness.
3 stars.
February 17, 2020
“A compelling tale of our time” is how I summed up Anna Mansell’s new book to a friend.
That was only after I had spent the previous, what felt like, 30 minutes trying to relate just how gripping and powerful I found it using a lot more words – some of which I will share again now.
The Man I Loved Before is brilliantly written to the point it actually made me physically uncomfortable at times.
It doesn’t shy away from some difficult themes, in fact, it shines the brightest spotlight possible on them.
In places, it was almost like watching a car crash about to happen but being unable to look away.
At the same time, it also manages to be entertaining, funny in parts and even romantic.
I don’t want to give away any of the more salient plot points but I will say it is perfectly paced. It also keeps you second guessing yourself – and even questioning things that have happened in your own life - right to the end.
After I finished I couldn’t pick up another book for a week because I found myself stuck in this story.
Jem is such an interesting character, it’s like she wants us to dislike her but it’s just not possible.
Her best friend is definitely someone you’d want on your side and her mum is wonderful. There are some truly touching scenes between the two that made me want to give my own mum a big hug.
This book might not be for everyone but, if anything, that’s a reflection on how GOOD the writing is - it just feels too real.
I don’t imagine it was easy to write - just as it's not always easy to read - but the hard work has definitely paid off.
With thanks to Bookouture (via NetGalley) for the ARC in return for an honest review.
That was only after I had spent the previous, what felt like, 30 minutes trying to relate just how gripping and powerful I found it using a lot more words – some of which I will share again now.
The Man I Loved Before is brilliantly written to the point it actually made me physically uncomfortable at times.
It doesn’t shy away from some difficult themes, in fact, it shines the brightest spotlight possible on them.
In places, it was almost like watching a car crash about to happen but being unable to look away.
At the same time, it also manages to be entertaining, funny in parts and even romantic.
I don’t want to give away any of the more salient plot points but I will say it is perfectly paced. It also keeps you second guessing yourself – and even questioning things that have happened in your own life - right to the end.
After I finished I couldn’t pick up another book for a week because I found myself stuck in this story.
Jem is such an interesting character, it’s like she wants us to dislike her but it’s just not possible.
Her best friend is definitely someone you’d want on your side and her mum is wonderful. There are some truly touching scenes between the two that made me want to give my own mum a big hug.
This book might not be for everyone but, if anything, that’s a reflection on how GOOD the writing is - it just feels too real.
I don’t imagine it was easy to write - just as it's not always easy to read - but the hard work has definitely paid off.
With thanks to Bookouture (via NetGalley) for the ARC in return for an honest review.
April 5, 2020
Goodness, what a heartbreaking novel! But also uplifting...
Jem has been declared bankrupt, she has split up with her boyfriend Ben and moved back in with her mum. She writes him a letter to put events and her feelings in to words, planning to burn it but her mum 'helpfully' posts it. Cue a dash to Cornwall to try to retrieve it, coming face to face with the man she still loves...
Trying to move on with her life, Jem starts a new relationship with Mitch but all is not what it seems. Plus she is dealing with her mum's cancer diagnosis.
The chatty style that author Anna Mansell uses it so endearing and natural. Jem has huge potential but fails to see it so, before she can move on in her life and relationships, she needs to see the good in herself that is obvious to others.
The content of Jem's letter to Ben is gradually revealed over the course of the book. The guilt she has been enduring is painful and unwarranted: it just feels oh so real. As always, I hadn't read the blurb so had no idea what to expect. By the end I was blubbing.
The new relationship with Mitch is a tricky one. I felt uncomfortable about his behaviour from the start and his manipulation gradually extends. There is so much warmth in this book despite the mystery and feeling of unease of Mitch's behaviour.
Jems' mum's cancer battle is so sad. It feels honest and reading the author's notes at the end it becomes clear that Anna is writing from personal experience.
This all sounds a bit heavy but actually there is plenty of humour and the turn of phrase lifts the whole book. The raw emotion of The Man I Loved Before is so beautifully written that it captivates the reader.
Such a good book!
Jem has been declared bankrupt, she has split up with her boyfriend Ben and moved back in with her mum. She writes him a letter to put events and her feelings in to words, planning to burn it but her mum 'helpfully' posts it. Cue a dash to Cornwall to try to retrieve it, coming face to face with the man she still loves...
Trying to move on with her life, Jem starts a new relationship with Mitch but all is not what it seems. Plus she is dealing with her mum's cancer diagnosis.
The chatty style that author Anna Mansell uses it so endearing and natural. Jem has huge potential but fails to see it so, before she can move on in her life and relationships, she needs to see the good in herself that is obvious to others.
The content of Jem's letter to Ben is gradually revealed over the course of the book. The guilt she has been enduring is painful and unwarranted: it just feels oh so real. As always, I hadn't read the blurb so had no idea what to expect. By the end I was blubbing.
The new relationship with Mitch is a tricky one. I felt uncomfortable about his behaviour from the start and his manipulation gradually extends. There is so much warmth in this book despite the mystery and feeling of unease of Mitch's behaviour.
Jems' mum's cancer battle is so sad. It feels honest and reading the author's notes at the end it becomes clear that Anna is writing from personal experience.
This all sounds a bit heavy but actually there is plenty of humour and the turn of phrase lifts the whole book. The raw emotion of The Man I Loved Before is so beautifully written that it captivates the reader.
Such a good book!
February 19, 2020
Loved it!! Such an emotional book. I loved the friendship between Jem and Leanne. They were always there for each other. Jem helped her friend out more with the new baby than Leanne's own husband. Leanne could definitely tell when something wasn't right with her friend. Alcohol played too big of a role in Jem's life. Mitch was always there opening up a bottle or two. Jem's letter was so heartbreaking. Why didn't she open up to Ben when everything was happening? I liked Jem, but she could be very frustrating at times. I don't think it would have been that easy for her to just give up alcohol. It was the one constant in her life besides attracting creepy/scary guys. The book definitely took a twist I wasn't expecting. Mitch definitely wasn't what I was expecting. The worst part was when Jem found him sitting on the bed reading the letter. I was glad when Jem finally opened her eyes and saw what was really happening around her.
Definitely recommend the book. Loved the characters, story and writing style. The book made me laugh and cry. At times Jem was quite funny. Huge fan of the author and look forward to reading more of her books.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from Bookouture through NetGalley. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
Definitely recommend the book. Loved the characters, story and writing style. The book made me laugh and cry. At times Jem was quite funny. Huge fan of the author and look forward to reading more of her books.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from Bookouture through NetGalley. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
March 10, 2020
The Man I Loved Before has 2 storylines running through it. There is the story of Jem and her love life and the story of Jem and her Mum.
Jem's love life isn't straightforward, but it never is, is it? Her ex, Ben has moved far away to escape their past and the hurt Jemima caused him. Jem's best friend Leanne encourages Jem to get back out there and sets up a Tinder profile, leading to a new man coming onto the scene. Looks like Jem has found her Prince Charming. Right?
Jem and her Mum, Val, have the kind of relationship I had with my Mum. Strong, loving, supportive, close. When Val becomes ill, Jem is heartbroken but knows she has to be strong. This is the story line that resonated so much with me. I sobbed when reading it. I went through the same with my Mum, 10 years ago.
Every aspect of this book is brilliant. It's written from the heart, from experience and with such care. I was mesaaging with the author while reading it and she was full of concern and care.
This is absolutely gorgeous and very much guaranteed a top spot in my Books of the Year list for 2020.
Jem's love life isn't straightforward, but it never is, is it? Her ex, Ben has moved far away to escape their past and the hurt Jemima caused him. Jem's best friend Leanne encourages Jem to get back out there and sets up a Tinder profile, leading to a new man coming onto the scene. Looks like Jem has found her Prince Charming. Right?
Jem and her Mum, Val, have the kind of relationship I had with my Mum. Strong, loving, supportive, close. When Val becomes ill, Jem is heartbroken but knows she has to be strong. This is the story line that resonated so much with me. I sobbed when reading it. I went through the same with my Mum, 10 years ago.
Every aspect of this book is brilliant. It's written from the heart, from experience and with such care. I was mesaaging with the author while reading it and she was full of concern and care.
This is absolutely gorgeous and very much guaranteed a top spot in my Books of the Year list for 2020.
December 22, 2020
Romance and a whole lot more
I listened to the audio book narrated by Ella Lynch
Jem, fun and impetuous , is still not over Ben, when she meets her old school mate Mitch via Tinder. However all is not plain sailing as Jem’s “write it all down, and then burn it” cathartic letter to Ben, which was never meant to be sent, has been kindly posted by her wonderful mum. Meanwhile Jem’s mum has cancer, and Jem needs to look after her, get a better job, see how things will go with Mitch, all whilst getting that letter back.
This is a mostly upbeat story, due to Jem’s character, her great chats with her best friend and her whole lifestyle. However there are bitter-sweet moments due to her mother’s illness (indeed there are tears!), and then there is the relationship with Mitch which make this a fantastic read.
4*s for this great “romance with a punch” story. This is the first book I have read/listened to by Anna Mansell and I found myself giving Jem a hug, telling her to watch out, and totally involved in what was going on. Great.
I listened to the audio book narrated by Ella Lynch
Jem, fun and impetuous , is still not over Ben, when she meets her old school mate Mitch via Tinder. However all is not plain sailing as Jem’s “write it all down, and then burn it” cathartic letter to Ben, which was never meant to be sent, has been kindly posted by her wonderful mum. Meanwhile Jem’s mum has cancer, and Jem needs to look after her, get a better job, see how things will go with Mitch, all whilst getting that letter back.
This is a mostly upbeat story, due to Jem’s character, her great chats with her best friend and her whole lifestyle. However there are bitter-sweet moments due to her mother’s illness (indeed there are tears!), and then there is the relationship with Mitch which make this a fantastic read.
4*s for this great “romance with a punch” story. This is the first book I have read/listened to by Anna Mansell and I found myself giving Jem a hug, telling her to watch out, and totally involved in what was going on. Great.
March 24, 2020
"The Man I Loved Before" was beautifully written and pulled my heart in so many directions. The characters flaws just made me ache to my core. I felt like I was witnessing a friend struggle with her self worth and second guessing so many of her life choices. I was just rooting for this woman who, from the onset of the novel, had declared herself broken.
This was a story of growth, but only after wilting away. A story of being put back together only after the pieces have shattered to unthinkable tiny slivers. I was so frustrated and so upset through the whole thing, but I grew in my understanding of the character as she grew in her own understanding.
I listened to the audiobook version of this story. As usual, I am in love with the performance by narrator Ella Lynch. 13 seconds into the story, her tone was tugging at my heart strings and entwining an even more intense connection to the novel. Such a great book and I would highly recommend.
This was a story of growth, but only after wilting away. A story of being put back together only after the pieces have shattered to unthinkable tiny slivers. I was so frustrated and so upset through the whole thing, but I grew in my understanding of the character as she grew in her own understanding.
I listened to the audiobook version of this story. As usual, I am in love with the performance by narrator Ella Lynch. 13 seconds into the story, her tone was tugging at my heart strings and entwining an even more intense connection to the novel. Such a great book and I would highly recommend.
Read
March 8, 2020DNF @14%
Firstly thank you to NetGalley, Bookouture and the author for an advance copy of this book.
The synopsis drew me in and definitely sounded like the book I would absolutely love.
Whilst I only read 14%, it didn’t hold my interest during and I felt was I had read was overwritten and could have easily summarised more succinctly in far less chapters.
Our heroine Jem has a back story that we aren’t told about. But whatever she did appears to be quite bad given it drove her ex away and has blocked her from all contact in his life. She lost her job and home and is now living with her mum.
What did she do? I don’t know and normally that alone would keep me turning the pages, but I didn’t connect with Jen or her friend Leanne and I didn’t care to be read along any further to find out.
Firstly thank you to NetGalley, Bookouture and the author for an advance copy of this book.
The synopsis drew me in and definitely sounded like the book I would absolutely love.
Whilst I only read 14%, it didn’t hold my interest during and I felt was I had read was overwritten and could have easily summarised more succinctly in far less chapters.
Our heroine Jem has a back story that we aren’t told about. But whatever she did appears to be quite bad given it drove her ex away and has blocked her from all contact in his life. She lost her job and home and is now living with her mum.
What did she do? I don’t know and normally that alone would keep me turning the pages, but I didn’t connect with Jen or her friend Leanne and I didn’t care to be read along any further to find out.
March 3, 2020
3.5 stars.
Jem is going thru a tough time...broken up from her boyfriend, Ben, she writes a letter to him pouring her heart and dark mistakes out as part of her healing. Her mom finds the letter and mails it, not knowing it’s only for Jem’s healing. Then her bff talks her into going on Tinder...enter Mitch, the answer to her problems?
This book seemed to drag at the beginning for me, taking off about 60% thru. I loved the relationship between Jem and her Mom, and between Jem and her bff, Leanne. Both were described perfectly. For the most part, I enjoyed Jem’s growing up before our eyes and learning to find her voice and stand up for herself.
Thanks to Anna Mansell, Bookouture and NetGalley for this ARC. Opinion is mine alone.
Jem is going thru a tough time...broken up from her boyfriend, Ben, she writes a letter to him pouring her heart and dark mistakes out as part of her healing. Her mom finds the letter and mails it, not knowing it’s only for Jem’s healing. Then her bff talks her into going on Tinder...enter Mitch, the answer to her problems?
This book seemed to drag at the beginning for me, taking off about 60% thru. I loved the relationship between Jem and her Mom, and between Jem and her bff, Leanne. Both were described perfectly. For the most part, I enjoyed Jem’s growing up before our eyes and learning to find her voice and stand up for herself.
Thanks to Anna Mansell, Bookouture and NetGalley for this ARC. Opinion is mine alone.
March 10, 2020
What a gorgeous story! It had me laughing out loud a lot and it had me snivelling as many times.
How can you really love someone when you don't know how to love yourself? How can you take care of someone when you don't take care of yourself?
This is a beautiful and at times hilarious story about learning to get to know yourself and even more important learning to accept who you are. You don't have to always agree or do what someone else says. Some might only have their best intrests at heart and yours are only second best.
Kudos to that one best friend who will stand by you through thick and thin.
I loved the way Jem developed and finally saw the sun peaking through her darkest clouds. 5 stars
Thank you, Anna Mansell and Bookouture
https://bforbookreview.wordpress.com
How can you really love someone when you don't know how to love yourself? How can you take care of someone when you don't take care of yourself?
This is a beautiful and at times hilarious story about learning to get to know yourself and even more important learning to accept who you are. You don't have to always agree or do what someone else says. Some might only have their best intrests at heart and yours are only second best.
Kudos to that one best friend who will stand by you through thick and thin.
I loved the way Jem developed and finally saw the sun peaking through her darkest clouds. 5 stars
Thank you, Anna Mansell and Bookouture
https://bforbookreview.wordpress.com
September 11, 2020
4 stars
The writing is good but I didn't really like the heroine. It's written in the first person and the narrator has lots of problems. She was bankrupt, lost her job and her boyfriend, her mother was in remission from cancer and she had a serious drink problem. So lots of trigger points and there's a couple of more issues I haven't detailed which are only brought forth in the narrative but might not be comfortable for some readers. During the story you see how she is victimised and eventually owns her problems and comes through. Too much angst for me and probably too much realism, I tend to use reading as relaxation.
I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own
The writing is good but I didn't really like the heroine. It's written in the first person and the narrator has lots of problems. She was bankrupt, lost her job and her boyfriend, her mother was in remission from cancer and she had a serious drink problem. So lots of trigger points and there's a couple of more issues I haven't detailed which are only brought forth in the narrative but might not be comfortable for some readers. During the story you see how she is victimised and eventually owns her problems and comes through. Too much angst for me and probably too much realism, I tend to use reading as relaxation.
I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own
March 19, 2020
I had a hard time getting into this book, mainly because I think Jem was fairly annoying. She seemed self-centered, which did not make me feel any sympathy for her plight. I did think that the best moments were between Jem and her mom, and there was growth in Jem's character because of that relationship and what occurs. It all just seemed uneven, and I couldn't find myself rooting for her to prevail and get herself straightened out. Other readers may have a different perspective, however. For more thoughts, please visit my blog at Fireflies and Free Kicks Fiction Reviews. Thanks to NetGalley and Bookouture for the opportunity to give this one a try.
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