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Poly
Chris Flood – a married father of two with plummeting self-esteem and questionable guitar skills – suddenly finds himself in the depths of polyamory after years of a near-sexless marriage. His wife, Sarah – a lover of the arts, avid quoter of Rumi, and always oozing confidence – wants to rediscover her sexuality after years of deadening domesticity.
Their new life of polyamory features late nights, love affairs and rotating childcare duties. While Sarah enjoys flings with handsome men, Chris, much to his astonishment, falls for a polydactylous actor and musician, Biddy.
Then there’s Zac Batista. When Chris and Sarah welcome the Uruguayan child prodigy and successful twenty-two-year-old into their lives they gratefully hand over school pick-up and babysitting duties. But as tensions grow between family and lovers, Chris begins to wonder if it’s just jealousy, or something more sinister brewing…
A searing and utterly engrossing debut, Poly is a raw, hilarious, and moving portrait of contemporary relationships in all their diversity, and an intimate exploration of the fragility of love and identity.
Their new life of polyamory features late nights, love affairs and rotating childcare duties. While Sarah enjoys flings with handsome men, Chris, much to his astonishment, falls for a polydactylous actor and musician, Biddy.
Then there’s Zac Batista. When Chris and Sarah welcome the Uruguayan child prodigy and successful twenty-two-year-old into their lives they gratefully hand over school pick-up and babysitting duties. But as tensions grow between family and lovers, Chris begins to wonder if it’s just jealousy, or something more sinister brewing…
A searing and utterly engrossing debut, Poly is a raw, hilarious, and moving portrait of contemporary relationships in all their diversity, and an intimate exploration of the fragility of love and identity.
352 pages, Paperback
First published September 2, 2020
About the author
Paul Dalgarno
4 books28 followersPaul Dalgarno is a Melbourne-based author from Aberdeen, Scotland. His memoir, And You May Find Yourself, was published by Sleepers Publishing in 2015. His debut novel, Poly, will be published by Ventura Press in July 2020.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 76 reviews
August 6, 2020
FYI 2 stars = OK
I chose to read Poly by Paul Delgarno primarily because I like to support debut Australian authors, but also because my curiously was piqued by the premise.
Chris Flood is a married father of two young children who hasn’t had sex with his wife more than a handful of times in nearly three years. Hoping to reignite her libido he’s reluctantly agreed to an ‘open’ marriage, and grits his teeth every time the love of his life trips off to make love with someone(s) who isn’t him.
I know little about the polyamorous lifestyle, but it seems exhausting. While Sarah flits from lover to lover, Chris surprises himself when he finds a younger partner willing to accept their unconventional set-up, but it’s all a little messy as they attempt to juggle dates, overnights, partying, work, and parenting. Help comes from new friend, Zac Batista, who quickly inserts himself into the household, but it eventually becomes clear that his motives aren’t as altruistic as they appear.
Chris and Sarah’s relationship is not one I’d aspire to, I am aware that such relationships generally don’t work in the long term without both partners being committed to each other, and Sarah makes several decisions that are blatantly disrespectful to their marriage. Chris is not exactly happy much of the time, secretly cyber- stalking Sarah’s lovers, worried that he isn’t meeting Biddy’s needs, and desperate for some ‘alone’ time. Actually very few of the adults in Poly seem happy, Chris’s brother is depressed, Biddy’s housemates are bitter drunks, and Zac, as it turns out, is a pathological liar.
The ending may suggest that they’ve found a way to make their new lifestyle work, complete with a ‘the kids are alright’ scene, but I’m left with the impression that it can’t be anything but temporary, particularly as the issues between Chris and Sarah remain largely unresolved.
While the domestic drama, general chaos, and black humour in Poly is entertaining, I just don’t see that the story has much of a point, and as such was left feeling underwhelmed.
I chose to read Poly by Paul Delgarno primarily because I like to support debut Australian authors, but also because my curiously was piqued by the premise.
Chris Flood is a married father of two young children who hasn’t had sex with his wife more than a handful of times in nearly three years. Hoping to reignite her libido he’s reluctantly agreed to an ‘open’ marriage, and grits his teeth every time the love of his life trips off to make love with someone(s) who isn’t him.
I know little about the polyamorous lifestyle, but it seems exhausting. While Sarah flits from lover to lover, Chris surprises himself when he finds a younger partner willing to accept their unconventional set-up, but it’s all a little messy as they attempt to juggle dates, overnights, partying, work, and parenting. Help comes from new friend, Zac Batista, who quickly inserts himself into the household, but it eventually becomes clear that his motives aren’t as altruistic as they appear.
Chris and Sarah’s relationship is not one I’d aspire to, I am aware that such relationships generally don’t work in the long term without both partners being committed to each other, and Sarah makes several decisions that are blatantly disrespectful to their marriage. Chris is not exactly happy much of the time, secretly cyber- stalking Sarah’s lovers, worried that he isn’t meeting Biddy’s needs, and desperate for some ‘alone’ time. Actually very few of the adults in Poly seem happy, Chris’s brother is depressed, Biddy’s housemates are bitter drunks, and Zac, as it turns out, is a pathological liar.
The ending may suggest that they’ve found a way to make their new lifestyle work, complete with a ‘the kids are alright’ scene, but I’m left with the impression that it can’t be anything but temporary, particularly as the issues between Chris and Sarah remain largely unresolved.
While the domestic drama, general chaos, and black humour in Poly is entertaining, I just don’t see that the story has much of a point, and as such was left feeling underwhelmed.
April 22, 2020
I was lucky enough to be gifted an advance readers copy of this by ventura press In exchange for an honest review. I feel quite a lot of pressure being the first person to officially review this book on Goodreads! I will do my best to write my own experience of the book the best way I know how.
First of all, I had almost no idea what I was in for when I picked up this book. The title and cover allude to a pretty obvious storyline, but I didn’t know much else. This is the story of a middle aged man named Chris, in the midst of early-ish parenthood, experiencing career dissatisfaction and a sexless marriage. That alone should be enough to turn me off reading this book, but I was honestly enthralled from the first page.
Written in a similar style to Taffy Brodesser-Anker’s Fleishman is in Trouble, Poly follows Chris’ journey with his wife into the abyss of Polyamory. What Chris doesn’t expect is what little solitude he has left (thanks to Kids, work & a marriage) to be ripped away from him as he falls in love with another (younger) woman, while his wife sleeps with a variety of hunky men. What follows is a series of lapses in communication, anxieties, pleasures, relationship woes etc. basically a lot of drama. Some more characters become interwoven into their storyline too, including Zac, the well trusted babysitting best friend slash house guest.
Set in Melbourne’s inner north (where I spent most of my life), I can’t help but draw similarities between this book and the infamous Monkey Grip by Helen Garner. Though it is a modern take, similarly, there are a lot of drugs, sex, communal living arrangements, the sharing of partners, kids, and drama, all told from one perspective, the protagonist. One thing I couldn’t help but hope towards the end of this book was to hear from the perspectives of the two other characters (Biddy & Sarah) who were the main elements of this polyamorous relationship (Chris’ wife and girlfriend). I think that would have given the story a huge amount of depth and relatability for me, being a woman.
Lots of things happened in this book, but also, not much at all... and I think there lies the success of the story overall. The messages that ring true in the end are that relationships are fickle and complicated beasts which are unique for every individual, couple or group of people; Marriage is hard work, always turning unexpected corners; And, life is fucking messy, man!
Would recommend, especially to those who enjoy a modern relationship drama, in the area of Sally Rooney, Taffy Brodesser-Anker & Helen Garner.
First of all, I had almost no idea what I was in for when I picked up this book. The title and cover allude to a pretty obvious storyline, but I didn’t know much else. This is the story of a middle aged man named Chris, in the midst of early-ish parenthood, experiencing career dissatisfaction and a sexless marriage. That alone should be enough to turn me off reading this book, but I was honestly enthralled from the first page.
Written in a similar style to Taffy Brodesser-Anker’s Fleishman is in Trouble, Poly follows Chris’ journey with his wife into the abyss of Polyamory. What Chris doesn’t expect is what little solitude he has left (thanks to Kids, work & a marriage) to be ripped away from him as he falls in love with another (younger) woman, while his wife sleeps with a variety of hunky men. What follows is a series of lapses in communication, anxieties, pleasures, relationship woes etc. basically a lot of drama. Some more characters become interwoven into their storyline too, including Zac, the well trusted babysitting best friend slash house guest.
Set in Melbourne’s inner north (where I spent most of my life), I can’t help but draw similarities between this book and the infamous Monkey Grip by Helen Garner. Though it is a modern take, similarly, there are a lot of drugs, sex, communal living arrangements, the sharing of partners, kids, and drama, all told from one perspective, the protagonist. One thing I couldn’t help but hope towards the end of this book was to hear from the perspectives of the two other characters (Biddy & Sarah) who were the main elements of this polyamorous relationship (Chris’ wife and girlfriend). I think that would have given the story a huge amount of depth and relatability for me, being a woman.
Lots of things happened in this book, but also, not much at all... and I think there lies the success of the story overall. The messages that ring true in the end are that relationships are fickle and complicated beasts which are unique for every individual, couple or group of people; Marriage is hard work, always turning unexpected corners; And, life is fucking messy, man!
Would recommend, especially to those who enjoy a modern relationship drama, in the area of Sally Rooney, Taffy Brodesser-Anker & Helen Garner.
February 12, 2021
I borrowed this book on a whim, intrigued by the premise. The novel itself though was a confusing mix of drug addled adults who don’t communicate and then lament the lack of communication without ever communicating to each other about it. The plot of this book was confusing - ostensibly it’s about navigating an open polyamorous marriage but then there is an extra plot about the nefarious activities of a family friend. As such, neither plot is satisfyingly developed and the conclusion is hasty and sickly saccharine. There are some interesting ideas in here, but this is a book that doesn’t know what it is, centering on characters who are all, honestly, unlikeable.
December 31, 2020
Jesus Christ, where do I even begin. I seriously hope nobody is using this a how-to polyamory guide. Chris is resentful that his marriage is lacking in sex so concocts a plan to let his wife Sarah fuck other people in the hope that she will rediscover her sexuality and ultimately, fuck him again. They go into this arrangement with no discussion beyond Chris’s condition that Sarah use condoms and tell Chris about her sexual experiences - in a high level of detail, whenever he wants, such as when he’s jerking off after a night on the pingers. Wow, I wonder why Sarah doesn’t want to have sex with this manipulative loser.
With absolutely no discussion with his wife about the possibility of seeing other people himself, Chris begins to seduce his drug dealer Biddy, and brings her into the marital bed - literally - while Sarah is passed out from some hash brownies and proceeds to have sex with Biddy (yes really). Sarah awakens during this highly problematic sexual encounter and miraculously decides to join in, like something straight out of the basic porn Chris almost definitely watches but doesn’t pay for. Extremely blurry lines of consent here and throughout the entire book which made me feel extremely uncomfortable.
It’s all pretty much downhill from there: lame as hell dialogue, child neglect, racist micro-aggressions, sexist double standards, family violence (which is not acknowledged as such), people in their mid thirties who still can’t handle their drugs and a half-baked psychological thriller plot line thrown in for good measure.
I’ve participated in various iterations of non monogamous relationships and nothing within Poly comes close to resembling a conscious, sustainable and ethical version of such. Chris and Sarah don’t even seem to identify as polyamorous so I’m not sure why this label has been co-opted for the title. There was a real opportunity here to explore a couple’s journey opening their marriage in a meaningful way but Dalgarno has presented a vapid caricature instead. Reading this book gave me a renewed sense of appreciation for my long term monogamous relationship, and also instilled the fear of god in me should this relationship end and I have to contend with the Chris Floods of the world again.
With absolutely no discussion with his wife about the possibility of seeing other people himself, Chris begins to seduce his drug dealer Biddy, and brings her into the marital bed - literally - while Sarah is passed out from some hash brownies and proceeds to have sex with Biddy (yes really). Sarah awakens during this highly problematic sexual encounter and miraculously decides to join in, like something straight out of the basic porn Chris almost definitely watches but doesn’t pay for. Extremely blurry lines of consent here and throughout the entire book which made me feel extremely uncomfortable.
It’s all pretty much downhill from there: lame as hell dialogue, child neglect, racist micro-aggressions, sexist double standards, family violence (which is not acknowledged as such), people in their mid thirties who still can’t handle their drugs and a half-baked psychological thriller plot line thrown in for good measure.
I’ve participated in various iterations of non monogamous relationships and nothing within Poly comes close to resembling a conscious, sustainable and ethical version of such. Chris and Sarah don’t even seem to identify as polyamorous so I’m not sure why this label has been co-opted for the title. There was a real opportunity here to explore a couple’s journey opening their marriage in a meaningful way but Dalgarno has presented a vapid caricature instead. Reading this book gave me a renewed sense of appreciation for my long term monogamous relationship, and also instilled the fear of god in me should this relationship end and I have to contend with the Chris Floods of the world again.
December 21, 2020
Poly is to polyamory what The Block is to an Architecture degree.
I think that “Dysfunction” might have been a better title for this novel, given that there doesn’t appear to be any healthy relationships in it at all.
The characters are mostly unlikeable, which is amplified by the fact that they don’t communicate with one another. The story teeters towards its conclusion, without really earning any resolution.
I enjoyed the writing style, although at times the protagonist’s inner dialogue could be erratic, even beyond mirroring the events surrounding him.
I think that “Dysfunction” might have been a better title for this novel, given that there doesn’t appear to be any healthy relationships in it at all.
The characters are mostly unlikeable, which is amplified by the fact that they don’t communicate with one another. The story teeters towards its conclusion, without really earning any resolution.
I enjoyed the writing style, although at times the protagonist’s inner dialogue could be erratic, even beyond mirroring the events surrounding him.
February 1, 2021
I hated this book.
A completely unfathomable story about a married couple who seem to be going through a midlife crisis. All they do is get f*cked up on drugs, drink, smoke, abandon their children and have sex with random people. Surely the author does not have children himself, as I cannot imagine a world where parents would leave their children so much, and with a complete stranger at that (who, spoiler alert... ended up being a psycho).
Issues such as suicide, depression, drug abuse etc are spoken about flippantly.
I feel sorry for anyone in respectful, functioning polyamorous relationships - as this book makes polyamory look like a complete disaster.
On top of all of that, the writing style is broken and difficult to follow. The only reason I finished this book is because I’d paid $32 for it.
A completely unfathomable story about a married couple who seem to be going through a midlife crisis. All they do is get f*cked up on drugs, drink, smoke, abandon their children and have sex with random people. Surely the author does not have children himself, as I cannot imagine a world where parents would leave their children so much, and with a complete stranger at that (who, spoiler alert... ended up being a psycho).
Issues such as suicide, depression, drug abuse etc are spoken about flippantly.
I feel sorry for anyone in respectful, functioning polyamorous relationships - as this book makes polyamory look like a complete disaster.
On top of all of that, the writing style is broken and difficult to follow. The only reason I finished this book is because I’d paid $32 for it.
September 12, 2021
The fast pace made this feel engaging but I didn’t give a single toss about any of the characters
ETA: characters incessantly using a particular term of endearment (‘hun’, ‘dude’) is not character development
ETA: characters incessantly using a particular term of endearment (‘hun’, ‘dude’) is not character development
June 22, 2020
Sarah and Chris have young children and a sexless marriage. In an attempt to reignite their passion for each other they start sleeping with other people and forming new relationships. Their vulnerabilities in this new poly world are raw and all too real. I enjoyed the black humour while hitting myself over the head wanting these characters to get their shit together. In a couple of key set pieces, Dalgarno cleverly juxtaposes chaotic domestic family life with Chris and Sarah’s poly adventures to great effect.
December 20, 2020
It took me a while to finish Poly, not because of the writing or the story, a relationship drama which is so timely written, without attempting to keep up any appearance - but because I re read the parts which caught me as insightful and revealed the deeper thoughts of the writer, the insight which so often is more inquisitive than the storyline itself. Recommended!
September 3, 2020
I loved this novel so much! This is one of the best, most honest and realistic, depictions of non-monogamy I read. There, the married protagonists, Chris and Sarah, set about reinventing a family shape in their own image, an image that includes third parties. In Sarah’s case, it is many, a jungle of them. As for Chris, he meets the exuberant, blue-haired musician Biddy and embarks on the Herculean task of keeping two women happy.
What ensues is a whirlwind of joys and difficulties. Poly honestly portrays the high emotional toll Chris’s newfound happiness takes. Yet we also see that the stress of non-monogamy is no more stressful than the stresses monogamous families endure and that its rewards are… delicious. As Paul writes, ‘loving and being loved by two women was life-affirming and almost guaranteed most days were a festering pile of shit.’
The novel has a taut plot, and it’s a fun and sparkly tale, fast-paced and full of energy. I started reading it and couldn’t put it down. Paul’s prose is visceral, pulsing with flesh and feeling, angsty and spicy, with occasional Kerouac-like flights of fancy albeit tempered by wry wit. Poly is surely darker than your average romantic comedy (which is how it's described), and more neurotic and intellectually stimulating – in a kind of Woody Allen-ish way. The imagery and descriptions of emotional states are memorable and precise.
Poly is also an exploration of some serious moral questions. How much compromise in marriage is too much? What do we owe our children? How should a twenty-first century man be? (Especially when this man has a predilection for using eyeliner…) The answers the book provides are nuanced and far from being moralistic. The writer allows his essentially good characters to behave rather poorly and still retain our sympathy in the face of their very aliveness.
What ensues is a whirlwind of joys and difficulties. Poly honestly portrays the high emotional toll Chris’s newfound happiness takes. Yet we also see that the stress of non-monogamy is no more stressful than the stresses monogamous families endure and that its rewards are… delicious. As Paul writes, ‘loving and being loved by two women was life-affirming and almost guaranteed most days were a festering pile of shit.’
The novel has a taut plot, and it’s a fun and sparkly tale, fast-paced and full of energy. I started reading it and couldn’t put it down. Paul’s prose is visceral, pulsing with flesh and feeling, angsty and spicy, with occasional Kerouac-like flights of fancy albeit tempered by wry wit. Poly is surely darker than your average romantic comedy (which is how it's described), and more neurotic and intellectually stimulating – in a kind of Woody Allen-ish way. The imagery and descriptions of emotional states are memorable and precise.
Poly is also an exploration of some serious moral questions. How much compromise in marriage is too much? What do we owe our children? How should a twenty-first century man be? (Especially when this man has a predilection for using eyeliner…) The answers the book provides are nuanced and far from being moralistic. The writer allows his essentially good characters to behave rather poorly and still retain our sympathy in the face of their very aliveness.
January 5, 2022
1 Star - Trigger Warning: R*pe
This was my first Netgalley Arc. I do thank Netgalley and Simon and Schuster for giving me early access.
Unfortunately, I was unaware of the expiry dates of Netgalley ARCs, so I was only able to finish the first two-thirds of the novel. However, my feelings towards the book were consistent throughout. Unfortunately, this was a big miss for me, while I was excited to read a book about a polyamorus couple, I did not feel that this book rightfully or respectfully demonstrated polyamorus relationships.
The lack of communication within the book and the disgustingly hypocritical nature of the main character is far from the true aspects of a healthy polyamorus relationship. His and his wife’s inability to listen to each other and to compromise made this book almost unreadable for me.
One particular scene which I think shouldn’t have even made it into the book, is in which the husband momentarily contemplates lying on top of his wife (who he admits would not be strong enough to push him off) and forcing her into non-consensual intercourse. Not only is this a horrible representation of the poly community but also of a healthy relationship. Neither of them should be with the other. Disappointed.
This was my first Netgalley Arc. I do thank Netgalley and Simon and Schuster for giving me early access.
Unfortunately, I was unaware of the expiry dates of Netgalley ARCs, so I was only able to finish the first two-thirds of the novel. However, my feelings towards the book were consistent throughout. Unfortunately, this was a big miss for me, while I was excited to read a book about a polyamorus couple, I did not feel that this book rightfully or respectfully demonstrated polyamorus relationships.
The lack of communication within the book and the disgustingly hypocritical nature of the main character is far from the true aspects of a healthy polyamorus relationship. His and his wife’s inability to listen to each other and to compromise made this book almost unreadable for me.
One particular scene which I think shouldn’t have even made it into the book, is in which the husband momentarily contemplates lying on top of his wife (who he admits would not be strong enough to push him off) and forcing her into non-consensual intercourse. Not only is this a horrible representation of the poly community but also of a healthy relationship. Neither of them should be with the other. Disappointed.
August 25, 2020
What if Helen Garner's Monkey Grip had been written by Tim Winton, been given an added dash of black comedy and been set in contemporary Melbourne? The result, I suspect, would be not unlike Poly, the debut novel from Australian writer Paul Dalgarno.
Chris and Sarah are turning forty and are in something of a slump in their relationship. Or to be more specific, there's no sex between them any more, and the guy that Sarah met six months after she and Chris married has recently passed away and she's taking it all rather badly. Then again, Sarah is pretty much self absorbed in every possible sense. It's difficult to understand why she is still even with Chris, or why he would still love her, but they're together, they have a son and a daughter and they have decided that the key to saving their marriage is to embrace a polygamous lifestyle. Or more specifically, Sarah wants to have lots of flings with various men and Chris decides to let her, because it beats the alternative of losing her. But there are a few surprises in stock, mostly in the form of Zac, a twenty-something friend who seems like a saviour at first, but soon becomes more trouble than he is worth, and with Biddy, the musician that Chris falls in love with.
Poly is a dark comedy that does what dark comedy does best--it takes an honest and frank look at human relationships. The result is all rather uncomfortable and will probably divide readers into two categories--readers who love it and readers who loathe it. For me, it was a great read, though uncomfortable on occasions.
Recommended.
Thank you to Ventura Press for my copy of Poly.
Chris and Sarah are turning forty and are in something of a slump in their relationship. Or to be more specific, there's no sex between them any more, and the guy that Sarah met six months after she and Chris married has recently passed away and she's taking it all rather badly. Then again, Sarah is pretty much self absorbed in every possible sense. It's difficult to understand why she is still even with Chris, or why he would still love her, but they're together, they have a son and a daughter and they have decided that the key to saving their marriage is to embrace a polygamous lifestyle. Or more specifically, Sarah wants to have lots of flings with various men and Chris decides to let her, because it beats the alternative of losing her. But there are a few surprises in stock, mostly in the form of Zac, a twenty-something friend who seems like a saviour at first, but soon becomes more trouble than he is worth, and with Biddy, the musician that Chris falls in love with.
Poly is a dark comedy that does what dark comedy does best--it takes an honest and frank look at human relationships. The result is all rather uncomfortable and will probably divide readers into two categories--readers who love it and readers who loathe it. For me, it was a great read, though uncomfortable on occasions.
Recommended.
Thank you to Ventura Press for my copy of Poly.
January 20, 2021
This book is a mess. The author shows promise in his ability to write rather good sentences and construct clear imagery. Though at no point did I feel any connection to the characters, who are almost all deeply problematic and easily unlikeable. Further, the plot is all over the place. The first two-thirds of the book focus on the drug-fuelled dysfunctional relationships of the deeply depressed main character and his wife before in the last third suddenly pivoting towards their suspicious babysitter. Neither side of the story is fully developed, and thus neither is brought to an adequate conclusion.
Further, as a feature of the dysfunctionality of the main characters, the themes explored are incredibly dark. I have not read a more depressing book in a long time. I would highly advise against reading it unless you're feeling mentally strong. Yet you would not pick this from the cover... where the quotations describe it as "witty" and "having you in stitches"... I do not know what those reviewers read, but I did not laugh once.
Further, as a feature of the dysfunctionality of the main characters, the themes explored are incredibly dark. I have not read a more depressing book in a long time. I would highly advise against reading it unless you're feeling mentally strong. Yet you would not pick this from the cover... where the quotations describe it as "witty" and "having you in stitches"... I do not know what those reviewers read, but I did not laugh once.
January 26, 2021
average read to be honest.
Good writing about relationships between people, how sex affects relationships and how polyamory is probably not as wild as people think
Was disappointed with the ending, I feel like Chris didn't end up happy, or sad, or with an end.
Biddy clearly wanted a family or more dedication but get any outcome either.
Zac should have had more to him and potentially something darker pop up but it was just a flat ending.
Happy/sad/or weird ending would have been better, but it just fell flat.
Good writing about relationships between people, how sex affects relationships and how polyamory is probably not as wild as people think
Was disappointed with the ending, I feel like Chris didn't end up happy, or sad, or with an end.
Biddy clearly wanted a family or more dedication but get any outcome either.
Zac should have had more to him and potentially something darker pop up but it was just a flat ending.
Happy/sad/or weird ending would have been better, but it just fell flat.
March 8, 2021
An engaging, easy and fun read! Slightly predictable ending but all round good read and would recommend.
February 8, 2021
Two stars for good wordsmithing, and so it should be good for a writer who has had a career in journalism. Chris is a weak sort of character who happily agrees to his wife Sarah having it off with whoever when he has it off with his drug dealer, Biddy. When Sarah after a bout of adultery falls into bed in a drug induced stupour, Chris and Biddy climb into that same bed, Sarah wakes up and find Biddy to her taste -- the stereotypical porn threesome. Oh please. Interspersed with these tasteless and not at all arousing scenes-- Dalgarno's wordsmithing deserts him in describing sexual scenes -- are mawkish exchanges with his ever-so cute children ("I love you Daddy", Sophie said clutching my leg and looking up to me lovingly) while he is planning his next implosion in Biddy's body. Poly in the title is short for polyamoury, which means a totally open marriage, which this one isn't really. The characters don't ring true at all, which is the problem here, not the theme. The writing is breathless, but gets nowhere, as if Chris's much loved bicycle riding to Biddy's place is on an exercise bike. I realise that there are even 5 stars from readers, but not from this one who was simply bored. Like "fuck" and "fucking" sprinkled around liberally when not referring to the act of sex. Boring. I found no character I liked or could relate to. However the author must have had his jollies writing it, as a debut novel obsessed with not well described sex. May it be his swan song at least in this genre.
January 5, 2022
I unfortunately don’t have a better word to describe this book than yucky. I found the characters yucky and the storyline yucky. This book certainly does make you feel something in that sense however I don’t think that was the intention. I was hoping for more of a plot development too. This book wasn’t for me.
December 13, 2024
Very repetitive. Goes no where until the end where it has a disappointing ‘shock’ ending that is only brought into and built up at the end. Was difficult to finish and I only finished because I was stubborn. I unnecessarily sexual. I get it’s about a poly couple but you can paint a picture without saying it over and over again.
November 30, 2022
I’m not poly – I have no interest in being poly either. But I think that in many cases, for people with the right attitudes and personalities, it can work. But this couple? Yikes.
Chris does not have the right attitude or personality and I’m not even sure what the hell is going on with his wife. Chris as agreed to open up their marriage sexually because Sarah, his wife, doesn’t want to have sex with him anymore. He’s hoping that by kickstarting her libido by having sex with someone new (or multiple new people) that will help her rediscover sexual desire for him. I don’t even know where to start with that – Sarah keeps assuring Chris that she loves him but it seems her version of marriage has always been different to his and this is not the first time Sarah has played away.
My biggest problem is that if the two of them discussed this in any deep, meaningful way then the book doesn’t really show that to you. It seems to just be something they decided and as long as Sarah is ‘safe’ (has her partners wear protection) and tells Chris about her encounters in detail, that seems to be the only rules or boundaries. When Chris starts seeing someone else himself, this doesn’t seem to be talked about either. I am not entirely sure how much Chris has feelings for Biddy or if it’s a) because he’s desperate for Sarah to see him as a man that is admired by another woman or b) he wants to have sex because his wife isn’t providing. Chris is low-key obsessed with his wife and look, normally I find that kinda cute but in this it’s….sad? He’s always talking about how desperate he is for her and it consumes his thoughts and it seems clear that Sarah DNGAF about Chris at all. I honestly think Biddy was probably the only character I really liked in the book and felt like she really deserved better than Chris. Don’t lower yourself, Biddy.
For inexplicable reasons, there’s a guy called Zac (supposedly) in this book and he ingratiates himself into Chris and Sarah’s life and quickly becomes to the point where he’s practically living there and doing things like picking up their two quite young children from daycare or pre-school or where ever the hell they are without Chris or Sarah having honestly, any idea who this guy really is. It takes about two minutes for the reader to discern that Zac is a manipulative liar, whispering this into Chris’ ear and presumably the opposite into Sarah’s. By the time this storyline goes anywhere, when Chris finally gets suss that Zac isn’t who he says he is (or more to the point, I think someone tells him? I can’t remember, I read this weeks ago now) it becomes like a farce trying to trap him in his various lies and Sarah refusing to believe it for the longest time and Sarah, you’ve known him three and a half minutes and all the stuff he is constantly saying cannot all be true. I don’t know why this story is included here, it doesn’t really make much sense (other to highlight other ways in which Chris and Sarah are horrible people) and the resolution is weak and unsatisfying. Also like the rest of the book, to be honest.
The thing that really annoyed me though, is what Chris discovers about Sarah and her various extramarital relationships. He’s angry, furious (so is Biddy) and rightfully so but Sarah honestly appears to have zero remorse or even care that a) she’s broken an agreement, a hard line that she and Chris apparently agreed on prior to this and b) that she’s endangered people she supposedly cares about, like, you know, the father of her children, the guy she proclaims every other page to love. I see no evidence of this throughout the book – even when Chris just wants his alone time (another scene that appears out of nowhere to be honest) Sarah makes it all about her in the guise of concern but she just clearly keeps not listening to what Chris is saying until she drives him to say something stupid which means she has to involve external forces.
For me this does not even remotely resemble a poly relationship of any type – there’s no thought and consideration to people here, not from anyone. The ending doesn’t convince me either, that this isn’t going to continue to be a complete clusterf*** for the future and I feel sorry for Chris and Sarah’s children, who have their parents and random people drift in and out of their lives on a whim depending on whether they can parent that day or prefer to outsource it to someone else.
Chris does not have the right attitude or personality and I’m not even sure what the hell is going on with his wife. Chris as agreed to open up their marriage sexually because Sarah, his wife, doesn’t want to have sex with him anymore. He’s hoping that by kickstarting her libido by having sex with someone new (or multiple new people) that will help her rediscover sexual desire for him. I don’t even know where to start with that – Sarah keeps assuring Chris that she loves him but it seems her version of marriage has always been different to his and this is not the first time Sarah has played away.
My biggest problem is that if the two of them discussed this in any deep, meaningful way then the book doesn’t really show that to you. It seems to just be something they decided and as long as Sarah is ‘safe’ (has her partners wear protection) and tells Chris about her encounters in detail, that seems to be the only rules or boundaries. When Chris starts seeing someone else himself, this doesn’t seem to be talked about either. I am not entirely sure how much Chris has feelings for Biddy or if it’s a) because he’s desperate for Sarah to see him as a man that is admired by another woman or b) he wants to have sex because his wife isn’t providing. Chris is low-key obsessed with his wife and look, normally I find that kinda cute but in this it’s….sad? He’s always talking about how desperate he is for her and it consumes his thoughts and it seems clear that Sarah DNGAF about Chris at all. I honestly think Biddy was probably the only character I really liked in the book and felt like she really deserved better than Chris. Don’t lower yourself, Biddy.
For inexplicable reasons, there’s a guy called Zac (supposedly) in this book and he ingratiates himself into Chris and Sarah’s life and quickly becomes to the point where he’s practically living there and doing things like picking up their two quite young children from daycare or pre-school or where ever the hell they are without Chris or Sarah having honestly, any idea who this guy really is. It takes about two minutes for the reader to discern that Zac is a manipulative liar, whispering this into Chris’ ear and presumably the opposite into Sarah’s. By the time this storyline goes anywhere, when Chris finally gets suss that Zac isn’t who he says he is (or more to the point, I think someone tells him? I can’t remember, I read this weeks ago now) it becomes like a farce trying to trap him in his various lies and Sarah refusing to believe it for the longest time and Sarah, you’ve known him three and a half minutes and all the stuff he is constantly saying cannot all be true. I don’t know why this story is included here, it doesn’t really make much sense (other to highlight other ways in which Chris and Sarah are horrible people) and the resolution is weak and unsatisfying. Also like the rest of the book, to be honest.
The thing that really annoyed me though, is what Chris discovers about Sarah and her various extramarital relationships. He’s angry, furious (so is Biddy) and rightfully so but Sarah honestly appears to have zero remorse or even care that a) she’s broken an agreement, a hard line that she and Chris apparently agreed on prior to this and b) that she’s endangered people she supposedly cares about, like, you know, the father of her children, the guy she proclaims every other page to love. I see no evidence of this throughout the book – even when Chris just wants his alone time (another scene that appears out of nowhere to be honest) Sarah makes it all about her in the guise of concern but she just clearly keeps not listening to what Chris is saying until she drives him to say something stupid which means she has to involve external forces.
For me this does not even remotely resemble a poly relationship of any type – there’s no thought and consideration to people here, not from anyone. The ending doesn’t convince me either, that this isn’t going to continue to be a complete clusterf*** for the future and I feel sorry for Chris and Sarah’s children, who have their parents and random people drift in and out of their lives on a whim depending on whether they can parent that day or prefer to outsource it to someone else.
February 7, 2021
I was intrigued but in the end disappointed. I think the main reasons were a writing style and narrative that didn’t gel with me, I had no connection with the characters and drug culture, and ultimately it was a story that ran off the rails and turned into something else. It was like it had an identity crisis. Ran out of puff and picked up another story which suddenly became the focus and the book abruptly ended leaving me, the reader, unsatisfied. We all know I don’t do modern fiction (I hated Normal People) but I really wanted to support a locally based author. Look, everyone likes to read different things. I’m not the demographic for this book but I gave it a shot anyway. You may be different?
January 1, 2021
𝗣𝗼𝗹𝘆 ~ 𝗣𝗮𝘂𝗹 𝗗𝗮𝗹𝗴𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗼
Right up front I’m going to say this book won’t be for everyone. There are numerous TW ⚠️ drug use, suicidal discussion, open marriages, multiple partner sex, dom sex.
I was intrigued by the synopsis of this book. Chris and Sarah are young parents struggling with unfulfilling careers, two young children, financial strain and a sexless marriage. Set in Melbourne’s north and CBD this felt very close to home.
It is Chris who encourages his wife, who he loves dearly and finds incredibly sexy to go and sleep with other men, in the hope that it will reignite her sexual desire for him. This is often fuelled with alcohol and drugs. This leads Sarah into some dangerous places and Chris does his best to make sure she is “safe”. Chris happens to find love with Biddy, a musician a few years younger with an extra digit (polydactyl). I wondered if this was used as a metaphor for the relationship in this book. Chris and Sarah and Biddy, the extra.
What Chris isn’t prepared for is the endless exhaustion that comes with managing his new life. The lack of space, of quiet time. Chris and Sarah befriend Zac, and he moves into the house to help with the children.
The story is told from Chris’s POV which I loved. The male view of marriage, sex, domesticity, life and mental health. I do feel that the book would have had more relatability if we had heard from Sarah and/or Buddy.
This book will not be for everyone. It is ugly, raw and messy. It challenges relationships, the concept of family and love and what is “normal”. It pushes boundaries.
The ending was not what I expected and I loved that. The writing is fast paced, jumpy, erratic and that fits with this story. I read this in one day, I couldn’t put it down. I’ll be looking for more from this author in the future.
April 20, 2021
My curiosity was sparked by the premise of this book, being based in Melbourne and supporting an Australian author.
The story follows Chris, father of two young children, living in Brunswick with his wife. After many years of sexless marriage, they open up their relationship and become polyamorous.
I enjoyed the black humour and the setting of the book, but that is about it. I just found the book to stall from the start and never really end up anywhere. I struggled to finish this book, my interest fluctuated and I often thought about putting it down completely. I found Chris really annoying and quite 2 dimensional and I disliked the way he spoke about everyone, he seemed like a dick.
2/5
The story follows Chris, father of two young children, living in Brunswick with his wife. After many years of sexless marriage, they open up their relationship and become polyamorous.
I enjoyed the black humour and the setting of the book, but that is about it. I just found the book to stall from the start and never really end up anywhere. I struggled to finish this book, my interest fluctuated and I often thought about putting it down completely. I found Chris really annoying and quite 2 dimensional and I disliked the way he spoke about everyone, he seemed like a dick.
2/5
December 3, 2020
Well, hold onto your hats because Poly (Ventura 2020) by Paul Dalgarno is certainly not for the faint-hearted. This is a book that really pushes the boundaries of what is considered ‘acceptable’ or ‘normal’ and is confronting in the way that the behaviour and motivations of the characters are portrayed. But that’s exactly what makes this book so interesting. It is (I think / I assume) a novel that depicts a lifestyle that is very different to what the majority of readers experience, and yet what Dalgarno does so well is not only to enlighten the uninformed reader about the practicalities and justifications for certain lifestyle decisions, but he also incorporates the more unusual aspects into the everyday and banal day-to-day grind of work and parenting and socialising, combining the two threads into a fascinating microscopic perspective of what it might be like to live a polyamorous life.
The narrative could be the basis of any story: Chris is a married father of two with a lovely wife, Sarah; their children are loved and nurtured. But here the story digresses. Chris and Sarah have endured a sexless relationship for many years. It’s not entirely clear why this is the case, but certainly it has something to do with the fact that Chris has demoralising self-esteem issues, and Sarah – who is artistic and confident, but feeling deadened by the drudge of domesticity – cannot seem to fuel the enthusiasm she once felt for sex with her husband. She wants to rediscover her sexuality; he wants to have some sex, any sex. And so they agree to try a new life of polyamory.
Sarah embraces the change. She enjoys frequent and often simultaneous flings with a range of handsome and interesting men, all with the blessing and encouragement of Chris. And although Chris is not so quick to throw himself into the challenge, he does – surprising even himself – fall in love with Biddy, a free-spirited musician who begins to mean as much to him as his love for Sarah. In this way, the novel reminded me a little of the French drama The Pier: what does it mean to love two women? How does it feel to know your lover shares her / his love with others? Where does loyalty lie? Are betrayal or jealousy valid emotions or do you give up the right to those when you embark on polyamory?
One of the things Dalgarno does particularly well in this book is to depict the all-consuming role of parenthood. Somehow, whenever I’ve imagined polyamorous relationships, they involve consenting adults, albeit of different ages, genders, races and class. Children don’t really fit into that picture. But this book changes all that. Chris and Sarah’s two children, Sophie and Oliver, are absolutely loved and cared for. There is never any doubt of that. Both Chris and Sarah are terrific parents and want only the best for their kids. And yet their new lifestyle – by necessity – comes with some tricky considerations. Late night trysts and sleepovers with other partners necessitates the juggling of childcare duties. Spending time with other partners of course takes away time from the immediate family; choices must be made about time management. This is where the book really gets quite hilarious as ridiculous situations present themselves as Chris and Sarah try to continue to parent well while still enjoying time with other people. Dalgarno’s writing is witty, raw, open and often terribly funny as the almost slapstick situations cause endless moral dilemmas and practical difficulties.
One solution is to invite into their lives Zac Batista, a Uruguayan child prodigy at only 22 years old, and a young man who almost seems too good to be true as he seamlessly steps into taking responsibility for the school drop-offs and pick-ups, and for extra babysitting when both parents are out seeing other people.
Inevitably, tensions grow and emotions are heightened as both Chris and Sarah deal with the increasing number of people they invite into their lives, either as friends or as lovers or both. This is new territory and the goal posts seem to be continually shifting. They are unsure about their own sexual status, even while they acknowledge that they still love each other deeply. But is love enough?
I found Poly to be an entirely wonderful exploration of how a poly life might actually function in reality, especially with children involved. Dalgarno has a discerning way of depicting intimate lives, and the innermost thoughts of his characters. The book showcases a diverse range of love, friendship, desire and belonging.
The plot line regarding Zac I found less convincing. I certainly understood both Chris and Sarah’s protective response to their children, and I did not doubt for a moment their reactions and protective behaviours. Without giving anything away though, I wasn’t convinced by the causal links that everyone followed regarding Zac’s past history and the allegations that emerge. This didn’t feel as authentic to me as the rest of the book, and I even wondered whether this plot line could have been completely excised – I think the remainder of the story is a strong and powerful navigation of sexual desire, intimacy, the practical details of managing a life with multiple lovers, and the challenges of negotiating not only the adults’ personal lives but also continuing consistent boundaries regarding the children involved.
But in any event, Zac provides a source of tension, interest and diversity, and no doubt some readers will find him an essential part of the story.
Poly is a graphic, intimate, poignant, funny, dark, generous and experimental novel about different lives, the choices we make and how they affect us. Sharp and compelling.
The narrative could be the basis of any story: Chris is a married father of two with a lovely wife, Sarah; their children are loved and nurtured. But here the story digresses. Chris and Sarah have endured a sexless relationship for many years. It’s not entirely clear why this is the case, but certainly it has something to do with the fact that Chris has demoralising self-esteem issues, and Sarah – who is artistic and confident, but feeling deadened by the drudge of domesticity – cannot seem to fuel the enthusiasm she once felt for sex with her husband. She wants to rediscover her sexuality; he wants to have some sex, any sex. And so they agree to try a new life of polyamory.
Sarah embraces the change. She enjoys frequent and often simultaneous flings with a range of handsome and interesting men, all with the blessing and encouragement of Chris. And although Chris is not so quick to throw himself into the challenge, he does – surprising even himself – fall in love with Biddy, a free-spirited musician who begins to mean as much to him as his love for Sarah. In this way, the novel reminded me a little of the French drama The Pier: what does it mean to love two women? How does it feel to know your lover shares her / his love with others? Where does loyalty lie? Are betrayal or jealousy valid emotions or do you give up the right to those when you embark on polyamory?
One of the things Dalgarno does particularly well in this book is to depict the all-consuming role of parenthood. Somehow, whenever I’ve imagined polyamorous relationships, they involve consenting adults, albeit of different ages, genders, races and class. Children don’t really fit into that picture. But this book changes all that. Chris and Sarah’s two children, Sophie and Oliver, are absolutely loved and cared for. There is never any doubt of that. Both Chris and Sarah are terrific parents and want only the best for their kids. And yet their new lifestyle – by necessity – comes with some tricky considerations. Late night trysts and sleepovers with other partners necessitates the juggling of childcare duties. Spending time with other partners of course takes away time from the immediate family; choices must be made about time management. This is where the book really gets quite hilarious as ridiculous situations present themselves as Chris and Sarah try to continue to parent well while still enjoying time with other people. Dalgarno’s writing is witty, raw, open and often terribly funny as the almost slapstick situations cause endless moral dilemmas and practical difficulties.
One solution is to invite into their lives Zac Batista, a Uruguayan child prodigy at only 22 years old, and a young man who almost seems too good to be true as he seamlessly steps into taking responsibility for the school drop-offs and pick-ups, and for extra babysitting when both parents are out seeing other people.
Inevitably, tensions grow and emotions are heightened as both Chris and Sarah deal with the increasing number of people they invite into their lives, either as friends or as lovers or both. This is new territory and the goal posts seem to be continually shifting. They are unsure about their own sexual status, even while they acknowledge that they still love each other deeply. But is love enough?
I found Poly to be an entirely wonderful exploration of how a poly life might actually function in reality, especially with children involved. Dalgarno has a discerning way of depicting intimate lives, and the innermost thoughts of his characters. The book showcases a diverse range of love, friendship, desire and belonging.
The plot line regarding Zac I found less convincing. I certainly understood both Chris and Sarah’s protective response to their children, and I did not doubt for a moment their reactions and protective behaviours. Without giving anything away though, I wasn’t convinced by the causal links that everyone followed regarding Zac’s past history and the allegations that emerge. This didn’t feel as authentic to me as the rest of the book, and I even wondered whether this plot line could have been completely excised – I think the remainder of the story is a strong and powerful navigation of sexual desire, intimacy, the practical details of managing a life with multiple lovers, and the challenges of negotiating not only the adults’ personal lives but also continuing consistent boundaries regarding the children involved.
But in any event, Zac provides a source of tension, interest and diversity, and no doubt some readers will find him an essential part of the story.
Poly is a graphic, intimate, poignant, funny, dark, generous and experimental novel about different lives, the choices we make and how they affect us. Sharp and compelling.
December 28, 2023
Rarely have I raced through a book so quickly, without actually liking it.
Maybe it was the salacious content, but I'd rather think it was the total Melbourne location, set in the inner north west. It reminded me of The Slap, another Melbourne book I enjoyed, but also couldn't stand the characters. The main protagonist's wife was just horrendous, and the whole premise seemed unbelievable, or maybe Polyamory is just not my thing!! 🤣🤣
Maybe it was the salacious content, but I'd rather think it was the total Melbourne location, set in the inner north west. It reminded me of The Slap, another Melbourne book I enjoyed, but also couldn't stand the characters. The main protagonist's wife was just horrendous, and the whole premise seemed unbelievable, or maybe Polyamory is just not my thing!! 🤣🤣
October 16, 2023
The main couples in this book are definetly not poly. It tried to turn into a thriller at the end but the main character was such an egocentric, delusional, sex obsessed bitch that I did not even feel bad for him. The way that sex scenes were described while going back and forth to describing mundane moments with their children felt very weird.
December 9, 2020
As this was by an Australian author I really wanted to like this but it really was not good. The dialogue was in no way how any Australians in there 20’s-40’s would converse with their friends. The main character was beyond annoying and the plot dragged in many places.
February 13, 2021
Wanted to support an Australian debut novel. Also wanted to read monogamy by Sue Miller and thought the premise of this one would be interesting to read before or after. Sorry to say this is a bit of a let down. Exhausting to keep up with and quite far fetched.
January 3, 2024
This book could’ve ended halfway. I felt like you were never properly introduced to the characters, and it kept going in circles. I held onto hope that the ending could’ve been big, but annoyingly it fell on its knees
November 25, 2020
Must admit I just couldn't finish this book. Unlikeable characters. Chris was so frustrating and Sarah was only interested in her next fling. Adults not communicating in their relationship.
January 11, 2024
This was probably the worst book I’ve ever read. The writing style, the plot and the unfinished story. Do yourself a favour and don’t pick this up!!
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