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The Third Gift: My Dance With The Devil
J.D. Danny McCabe maintained a loving relationship with his wife for nearly twenty years before the underpinnings of their marriage, family, and world began to crumble. Their foundation had always been rooted in the mantra that trust is the bedrock of a healthy relationship. Indeed, Erin had always claimed that things wouldn’t — couldn’t — work without trust. But one day, for reasons Danny could not fathom, Erin became suspicious of his every move. Phone calls, text messages, and work emails were manufactured into proof of infidelity, drug addiction, and a network of lies. She enlisted her mother in her efforts, and together they forged the words of family, trust and honesty into a metaphorical hammer and beat him into the ground. Their accusations accumulated, twisting reality, and eventually resulting in Danny s involuntary hospitalization. Danny was pushed to the edge and was damn near ready to jump. Then, God intervened. Erin s shocking revelation, her Third Gift, lit the blind spots in his marriage that Danny had never been able to reconcile.
- GenresNonfiction
372 pages, Hardcover
Published June 1, 2021
88 people are currently reading
520 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 37 reviews
August 5, 2021
I’ll admit, I was sucked in at first, because I love true crime stories. The author of the book did a TikTok leading with how his ex-wife attempted to poison him, and promoting his book. I kept turning the pages, but the end was very anti-climatic.
The pros:
It’s a page-turner, keeps you wondering, how much worse can it get for this guy?
It highlights how broken the court system is, as well as healthcare in this country, being pretty easy for someone to “game”.
The cons:
This book is poorly written, and it’s pretty apparent there was not any good book editing involved.
The author isn’t very likable. At all. NOT that I’m saying he deserved any of this, but at his best he comes off like Al Bundy in Married with Children. Like, he has a sexist and entitled attitude with women.
And finally, the spoiler…while he hints very strongly in the beginning of the book that he was sure his ex-wife was poisoning him at one point with arsenic that he thought she was putting into his protein shakes, he just leaves it at that. I kept waiting for the end to reveal that the testing proved he was poisoned, for the police to be called, for the ex-wife to be arrested, for evidence of purchase of arsenic, anything…and then the book just ends. With a long and expensive divorce, and him having to pay her alimony. The end.
Some people may like this book, but if you are looking for good true crime, you won’t find it here.
The pros:
It’s a page-turner, keeps you wondering, how much worse can it get for this guy?
It highlights how broken the court system is, as well as healthcare in this country, being pretty easy for someone to “game”.
The cons:
This book is poorly written, and it’s pretty apparent there was not any good book editing involved.
The author isn’t very likable. At all. NOT that I’m saying he deserved any of this, but at his best he comes off like Al Bundy in Married with Children. Like, he has a sexist and entitled attitude with women.
And finally, the spoiler…while he hints very strongly in the beginning of the book that he was sure his ex-wife was poisoning him at one point with arsenic that he thought she was putting into his protein shakes, he just leaves it at that. I kept waiting for the end to reveal that the testing proved he was poisoned, for the police to be called, for the ex-wife to be arrested, for evidence of purchase of arsenic, anything…and then the book just ends. With a long and expensive divorce, and him having to pay her alimony. The end.
Some people may like this book, but if you are looking for good true crime, you won’t find it here.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 11, 2021
First, the book was entirely too long. Extremely repetitive (killed the word ‘beautiful’ for me) and not engaging. We heard the same four or five statements, especially about STDs, what felt like hundreds of times. They first came as suspicions, then in conversations between the author and his wife, then between doctors or lawyers, then questioned again in his mind, then at the trial; over and over again. Especially during the trial excerpts, pages about one piece of evidence could’ve been summed up in one or two sentences since we had already heard them multiple times before. These tidbits are more fitting for TikTok than an entire book.
Even if they had been more concise, though, I still wouldn’t have cared much because I was not invested in the book or people. As a reader, it should’ve been easy for me to feel for the author’s situations and root for him, but he was so defensive that he was unlikable. I was thinking about memoirs I’ve read where people dealt with murder or rape where they had more to say than just ‘look at how terrible this person was to me.’ Instead of a entertaining story or one that ultimately showed the impact of these types of situations on people, it was a big rant. You could see this in the tone. I’m all about books with a casual tone, but this was so much like a chat with a friend (not an exact quote but there was a ton of completely unnecessary commentary like “Can you believe it?”).
Instead of the defensive commentary and repetition of the author’s findings, which ultimately made serious problems feel petty to the reader, he should have provided some info and then let the readers make their own judgment. Compelling evidence doesn’t need longwinded explanations. And the major points he made really were not that outstanding or interesting - many could say they’re TYPICAL of messy divorces, aside from the arsenic accusation which, while I believe, he really didn’t have good evidence for. Simply put, the ‘he said she said’ was absolutely tiring.
Also, I couldn’t get over that it was poorly written (“LOL!” “thru”).
Overall, I believe his story and am glad he found a happy ending, but at the same time, I do have some major doubts. He went on and on about herpes while admitting that he had not been swabbed. Also, his ex-wife’s chronic illness symptoms could definitely have contributed to her misfortunes, and her prescriptions were legal. No matter how many times he made opposing points, they weren’t even rock solid ones! If you’re going to quadruple-down on your claims, they’d better be good ones. I was also wary of the fact that he wrote a book about everything, especially because it was more about how terrible his wife was and how ‘right’ he was than about what he learned. It was like he just needed to restate what he tried to prove at trial for the world to hear, not for the betterment of anything other than his own ego.
Even if they had been more concise, though, I still wouldn’t have cared much because I was not invested in the book or people. As a reader, it should’ve been easy for me to feel for the author’s situations and root for him, but he was so defensive that he was unlikable. I was thinking about memoirs I’ve read where people dealt with murder or rape where they had more to say than just ‘look at how terrible this person was to me.’ Instead of a entertaining story or one that ultimately showed the impact of these types of situations on people, it was a big rant. You could see this in the tone. I’m all about books with a casual tone, but this was so much like a chat with a friend (not an exact quote but there was a ton of completely unnecessary commentary like “Can you believe it?”).
Instead of the defensive commentary and repetition of the author’s findings, which ultimately made serious problems feel petty to the reader, he should have provided some info and then let the readers make their own judgment. Compelling evidence doesn’t need longwinded explanations. And the major points he made really were not that outstanding or interesting - many could say they’re TYPICAL of messy divorces, aside from the arsenic accusation which, while I believe, he really didn’t have good evidence for. Simply put, the ‘he said she said’ was absolutely tiring.
Also, I couldn’t get over that it was poorly written (“LOL!” “thru”).
Overall, I believe his story and am glad he found a happy ending, but at the same time, I do have some major doubts. He went on and on about herpes while admitting that he had not been swabbed. Also, his ex-wife’s chronic illness symptoms could definitely have contributed to her misfortunes, and her prescriptions were legal. No matter how many times he made opposing points, they weren’t even rock solid ones! If you’re going to quadruple-down on your claims, they’d better be good ones. I was also wary of the fact that he wrote a book about everything, especially because it was more about how terrible his wife was and how ‘right’ he was than about what he learned. It was like he just needed to restate what he tried to prove at trial for the world to hear, not for the betterment of anything other than his own ego.
September 5, 2021
I don’t think much of this memoir is actually true or factual. This first time writer seems to think everyone should take him at his word and provides no evidence or testing to back up his claims. If he really thought his wife was poisoning him, why not get some bloodwork done or go to the police with his claims? Wouldn’t that make the most sense?
Also, my mother is bi-polar and there are times where it’s either her narcissism or BPD that make her intolerable to be around. This author sounds just like her blaming everything and everyone for his mental state. No accountability for any of his own lies or actions. Very hard to read, but give it a try if you’re bored.
Also, my mother is bi-polar and there are times where it’s either her narcissism or BPD that make her intolerable to be around. This author sounds just like her blaming everything and everyone for his mental state. No accountability for any of his own lies or actions. Very hard to read, but give it a try if you’re bored.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 10, 2022
0 stars. The only interesting thing about this book was the description of litigation. This book is a he said/she said nightmare written by someone with very little writing talent. Honestly, even if the wife was crazy, the author was extreme in his quest to destroy her. Those poor kids.
This is definitely a case of “wow man, you should write a book!” Taken much too seriously.
This is definitely a case of “wow man, you should write a book!” Taken much too seriously.
August 31, 2021
I found out about this book on TikTok through the account @thethirdgift, run by the author and I knew as soon as I saw a few videos that I had to read his book. So fascinating and read like a thriller even though it was a memoir. It also brings to light many issues in the court system. Educational and entertaining despite the subject matter. The author brings a sense of humor to some of the issues while also being raw and honest.
September 1, 2021
I got sucked in off of a TikTok post. This book was an easy read, and I was hooked from the first chapter. Unfortunately the end was anticlimactic and quite frankly left me irritated. I guess that’s the point though.
July 1, 2022
I liked it!
It’s an easy read. Kept me interested and I felt so many emotions, including wanting to hit the author over the head for being so blind to her shenanigans.
It’s an easy read. Kept me interested and I felt so many emotions, including wanting to hit the author over the head for being so blind to her shenanigans.
September 14, 2022
Crazy and interesting story but man there was a lot that should’ve been cut out. And the author’s tone should have stayed more neutral throughout. It was hard to be completely on his side at moments where his condescension and bitterness seeped through.
November 21, 2021
It was a bit hard/frustrating to read given the amount of gaslighting going on and the unfairness of it. Having been through a divorce, it was hard to read someone else’s experience.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 27, 2021
Interesting book. Certainly does not make the healthcare system in NC look good. Nor the doctors in Wilmington. Poorly written - but you expect that from this type of book. Almost unbelievable. Truly the most naive man ever. But it is engrossing. Ends way abruptly.
July 22, 2020
A real page turner. It’s hard to determine the genre. A memoir or a psychological thriller. What ever it is hard to believe how the protagonist made it. It makes you wonder. Never judge a marriage from one perspective.
September 20, 2021
Good read! Almost a little too detailed but I enjoyed it!
September 22, 2021
This book resonated with me. After being a single mom and raising three children almost entirely on my own after the youngest two’s father continued to abuse drugs and then eventually started a new family 2.0, I can relate to so much of the verbal abuse and sabotage. For years I had to defend my actions as their father tried to turn them against me in their younger years! Me- their primary caregiver and sole provider. It was only as they got older that they began to see the truth and that the one person who they have always been able to rely on is their mother.
Danny was put through the ringer and I am so surprised at the turnout of the court proceedings. I do wonder why they never brought up the children’s prescriptions being filled or even the test of chronic exposure to arsenic, as both would have only helped the side of the Defendant. I know there was no evidence left but circumstantial evidence would have allowed them to draw some conclusions, you would think. The children’s prescriptions would have highlighted the drug abuse, over the prescribed amounts.
I also wondered if the childhood friend, who knew nothing of technology but had been married to a techie, if it might have been her husband that talked on several occasions with Erin, especially when advising technical advice that her friend didn’t recall even having the conversations.
I will say that even though the court proceedings did not end in Danny’s favor, he still walks away the winner, with his dignity and the love of his two children, and some very strong supportive family members and friends. This is priceless and in nine years when the alimony dries up, she will have nothing and he will still have those God given gifts.
I truly hope for the kids sakes, that Erin gets help. Addiction is a disease and not one that can be accurately cured until acceptance is allowed. Only after one admits there is a problem can the journey of healing begin. I speak from experience as a former addict (clean over a decade). There has to be a rock bottom and the person cannot get the proper help if they do not see they have a problem.
My father is and probably always will be an alcoholic and it breaks my heart each day as he continues to put that poison into his body. Erin will not heal until she admits she has the problem and she cannot repair any broken relationships until that time. I hate that for the children- life is too short and years too precious to waste. I hope she gets the help she needs. I truly do. And I hope Danny finds happiness again in life and learns to trust again.
Danny was put through the ringer and I am so surprised at the turnout of the court proceedings. I do wonder why they never brought up the children’s prescriptions being filled or even the test of chronic exposure to arsenic, as both would have only helped the side of the Defendant. I know there was no evidence left but circumstantial evidence would have allowed them to draw some conclusions, you would think. The children’s prescriptions would have highlighted the drug abuse, over the prescribed amounts.
I also wondered if the childhood friend, who knew nothing of technology but had been married to a techie, if it might have been her husband that talked on several occasions with Erin, especially when advising technical advice that her friend didn’t recall even having the conversations.
I will say that even though the court proceedings did not end in Danny’s favor, he still walks away the winner, with his dignity and the love of his two children, and some very strong supportive family members and friends. This is priceless and in nine years when the alimony dries up, she will have nothing and he will still have those God given gifts.
I truly hope for the kids sakes, that Erin gets help. Addiction is a disease and not one that can be accurately cured until acceptance is allowed. Only after one admits there is a problem can the journey of healing begin. I speak from experience as a former addict (clean over a decade). There has to be a rock bottom and the person cannot get the proper help if they do not see they have a problem.
My father is and probably always will be an alcoholic and it breaks my heart each day as he continues to put that poison into his body. Erin will not heal until she admits she has the problem and she cannot repair any broken relationships until that time. I hate that for the children- life is too short and years too precious to waste. I hope she gets the help she needs. I truly do. And I hope Danny finds happiness again in life and learns to trust again.
September 13, 2021
Compelling, but unfortunately ultimately lacking
I would like to start this review with the bazaar references to Christopher Titus's stand up routine "Love is Evol" and it's topic, Titus's ex-wife Erin. There were many odd references to serveral television actors, but the ones surrounding Titus's comedy act seemed the most strange. It was like the writer was unable to fill these pages with his own divorce experiences and needed to reference another man's horrific divorce in order to convince us that he too was put through the wringer.
I was not convinced that his divorce was all his ex-wife's delusional doings. There were a lot of empty places where he could have provided his texts, and accepted his accountability for the turmoil that ensued. It seemed a lot of "she's nuts and I'm so good" nonsense with some partial acceptances for his part in the whole mess. I take quite a bit of exception to his throwing out "my wife tried to kill me" without any proof. I mean if this was true why didn't he call the police or tell the judges?
Lastly, his proof readers and certainly his editor could have done a better job of correcting the typos that litter this book. All in all it was an ok read, somewhat entertaining not at all inspiring and I'm glad I didn't pay too much for it.
I would like to start this review with the bazaar references to Christopher Titus's stand up routine "Love is Evol" and it's topic, Titus's ex-wife Erin. There were many odd references to serveral television actors, but the ones surrounding Titus's comedy act seemed the most strange. It was like the writer was unable to fill these pages with his own divorce experiences and needed to reference another man's horrific divorce in order to convince us that he too was put through the wringer.
I was not convinced that his divorce was all his ex-wife's delusional doings. There were a lot of empty places where he could have provided his texts, and accepted his accountability for the turmoil that ensued. It seemed a lot of "she's nuts and I'm so good" nonsense with some partial acceptances for his part in the whole mess. I take quite a bit of exception to his throwing out "my wife tried to kill me" without any proof. I mean if this was true why didn't he call the police or tell the judges?
Lastly, his proof readers and certainly his editor could have done a better job of correcting the typos that litter this book. All in all it was an ok read, somewhat entertaining not at all inspiring and I'm glad I didn't pay too much for it.
July 20, 2021
Very good insight
I know it sounds like he’s being very centered as being a victim in some peoples words. But you have to realize that a lot of times when people are abuse that they are very susceptible to other peoples behavior in such a convincing way that the rational thoughts or directions are looked upon as in enabler. But that’s just the cause-and-effect from people that are abused in such manners. Most victims love the people that are abusing them and tend to have the behavior he had. As for the comments regarding his writing style this was an author that went to college for writing this was a human being expressing exactly what he felt so yeah you’re not gonna find John Steinbeck writing style you’re gonna find individual that’s just telling his story and in doing so it’s not gonna be a little cherry genius it’s just gonna be every day life. I really appreciate it the entire inside of his experience regardless if it’s seen as him being a victim or him being self-centered it doesn’t matter it’s a point of it’s his expression. I really appreciated that he was so vulnerable to his audience to speak his truth because that’s in itself is so tough.
I know it sounds like he’s being very centered as being a victim in some peoples words. But you have to realize that a lot of times when people are abuse that they are very susceptible to other peoples behavior in such a convincing way that the rational thoughts or directions are looked upon as in enabler. But that’s just the cause-and-effect from people that are abused in such manners. Most victims love the people that are abusing them and tend to have the behavior he had. As for the comments regarding his writing style this was an author that went to college for writing this was a human being expressing exactly what he felt so yeah you’re not gonna find John Steinbeck writing style you’re gonna find individual that’s just telling his story and in doing so it’s not gonna be a little cherry genius it’s just gonna be every day life. I really appreciate it the entire inside of his experience regardless if it’s seen as him being a victim or him being self-centered it doesn’t matter it’s a point of it’s his expression. I really appreciated that he was so vulnerable to his audience to speak his truth because that’s in itself is so tough.
September 13, 2021
Very insightful saga - I can relate - I married a narcissist
Funny enough I picked this up thanks to tik tok and the poisoning doesn’t surprise me at all - but luckily I didn’t reach commitment since my wife’s girlfriend called her a liar too - making me realize I wasn’t the mentally unstable one. The sad part is the system doesn’t care and that is the biggest loss to my amazing daughters - recommend highly
Funny enough I picked this up thanks to tik tok and the poisoning doesn’t surprise me at all - but luckily I didn’t reach commitment since my wife’s girlfriend called her a liar too - making me realize I wasn’t the mentally unstable one. The sad part is the system doesn’t care and that is the biggest loss to my amazing daughters - recommend highly
February 20, 2024
The content of this book was fascinating as we have a friend going through a similar situation but I do feel like it could have been done in fewer pages. Sometimes I would get annoyed by the author as he almost seemed to be whining. I get what he went through was terrible but I don’t feel like everything included had to be included.
June 3, 2024
I read this when it first came out asked for another one this time you signed it. I loved this book and not because of what your ex wife did to
You but that you survived what she put thru. You made the reader feel like they were en extra person in your story and that’s great! I tell everyone to read your book all the time
You but that you survived what she put thru. You made the reader feel like they were en extra person in your story and that’s great! I tell everyone to read your book all the time
July 26, 2021
Very good detailed read
Very interesting real life take on the court system. I was thoroughly stressed just about the whole time during this book. Great read, bummed for the ending.
Very interesting real life take on the court system. I was thoroughly stressed just about the whole time during this book. Great read, bummed for the ending.
December 24, 2021
Loved it!
Great read. What this man had to go through is unbelievable and I guarantee he downplayed it. I ALMOST feel sorry for his ex, so crazy, yet her betrayal of everything makes sympathy difficult.
Great read. What this man had to go through is unbelievable and I guarantee he downplayed it. I ALMOST feel sorry for his ex, so crazy, yet her betrayal of everything makes sympathy difficult.
March 11, 2022
Interesting story, sometimes a bit long-winded. Read it as someone's journal rather than a non-fiction book and it works just fine. The story is very personal and has a lot of detail, and I truly hope the writer will be able to truly overcome everything he's had to live.
July 31, 2022
I liked it. While reading I love it. I think it is comparable to reading the Johnny Depp vs Amber Heard trial if it was a book. However, i didn’t love the ending and after reading it I was like it was ok, I liked it, just not as much as while I was reading it.
July 18, 2021
Riveting
Good read, a little too detailed but I enjoyed that. So much to unpack! Loved that he finally moved on!
Good read, a little too detailed but I enjoyed that. So much to unpack! Loved that he finally moved on!
August 12, 2021
Great book
It was a great read....just goes to show how crazy the justice system is....great job and keep pushing forward....again great job
It was a great read....just goes to show how crazy the justice system is....great job and keep pushing forward....again great job
August 30, 2021
Good, quick read
Not the best prose ever written but a gripping tale nonetheless. It would make a great beach or vacation read.
Not the best prose ever written but a gripping tale nonetheless. It would make a great beach or vacation read.
September 21, 2021
Amazing true story of the side we usually don't get to see. Spousal abuse by the wife. J.D. McCabe is a Wonderful story teller.
December 30, 2021
Really good book based off of real life events that happened to him.
February 23, 2022
Interesting read… I came across this book on Tik Tok. It’s a real page turner. The downside is it feels like it was written by a spiteful ex. But still entertaining nonetheless.
March 5, 2022
Well, I read this quick because it kind of reminded me of my work as a divorce lawyer.
November 18, 2023
Very long and repetitive which made it kinda boring
Displaying 1 - 30 of 37 reviews