This book hit me in ALL THE FEELS. To an outsider (aka my poor husband) I probably looked like a total crazy person because my emotions ran the gamut in this DEBUT book from author Arika Maxwell.
Please note that this review may contain spoilers. As one of the topics in this book is rather sensitive, please note this may be a trigger for victims of domestic violence.
The Story
Kendall Brooks best friend and crush Jayson Stone is being deployed and in an attempt to avoid the pain of facing him leaving, attempts to run into the arms of her on-again, off-again boyfriend Drew. But upon arriving at his dorm, finds him in bed with her cousin and ex-best friend. With no one to help her nurse her pain, she goes to the party Jayson is hosting and drowns her sorrows in a bottle of Crown.
Jayson finds Kendall in the bathroom, and after swooping in to save the day, the two confess their feelings for one another
Four years later, and not a peep from Jay, Kendall finds herself in “domestic bliss” with her husband Drew – a future politician – and her twins. She seems to have it all, but things aren’t always what they seem.
Jay’s stint in the army is over just in time for his best friends engagement party and after landing, he goes immediately to his house for the celebration. His reappearance into Kendall’s life triggers a series of events that force her to face her fears and escape from lies she’s buried for over four years.
The Characters
Jayson, aka Jay, Stone: I liked Jay because he did have a keen sense of right and wrong, but some things really bothered me about the choices he made regarding Kendall. I feel like a lot could have been resolved between these two with just a simple conversation.
He definitely wore his heart on his sleeve and wasn’t afraid to confront those feelings in the present. One thing that bothered me about him was he didn’t quite respect that Kendall wasn’t in a place where she could explore intimate feelings for him. He wasn’t willing to go out on a limb for her when she was available, but now that she’s unavailable, he’s willing to take that step, which I don’t think is fair to Kendall. I get that him seeing her again stirred all these feelings, but I just think some of his actions put her in a really tough spot.
Kendall Brooks: I liked Kendall a lot. I thought she had some spunk and that first chapter made me CRACK UP with laughter. She was super feisty and adorable. I think Maxwell did an amazing job of taking you through her journey “into the void”. Not only is Kendall being pushed into feeling 4 years worth of guilt from Drew, she’s also put herself into that guilt spiral and can’t seem see through to the otherside.
She wants to do what is best for her family and that means she’s willing to sacrifice her own happiness for the sake of her family. At times, the experiences she faces almost make you feel sick to your stomach and you want to yell “JUST LEAVE”, but Maxwell does such a job of provoking empathy that you understand her “need” to stay.
Character Honorable Mention
Phoebe: So I’ve never done a feature on a supporting character but PHOEBE F*CKING DESERVES IT. I’m obsessed with this character and I want to be her friend. She’s Kendall’s BFF and she’s un-apologetically promiscuous, super charming, and was just f*cking hilarious. Loved her.
Let’s Talk About (the) Sex, Baby!
Racy Reader - Medium Rating
Call my dentist because I have a sweet tooth! This book had some sweet love scenes that were described really well and just made your heart warm. Very intimate, very vulnerable – just plain sweet.
While there is a pretty harsh scene in here, Maxwell protects the reader from experiencing too much of the “scary” side of the situation. But overall, the scenes were very sweet and delicate.
The Writing
In this book, Maxwell delicately guides you through the cycle of domestic abuse. While some of us who haven’t experience anything like this may not understand how someone can stay in an environment that’s abusive, it’s important to understand that the control doesn’t happen overnight. Throughout the book, you get glimpses of the past where Drew has been grooming his control over Kendall, and then you get to experience his escalation first-hand from Kendall’s perspective.
Jay’s return, and the return of Drew’s perceived betrayal, is the catalyst that pushes Drew to physical abuse. Little by little, Kendall’s shame and guilt get in the way of her rational thinking, and she can’t seem to get out from drowning from Drew’s control.
THIS BOOK IS A DEBUT BOOK. Seriously, it’s really good. That being said, I just have a few comments and notes. I wish we could have seen more of the relationship between Jay and Kendall from when they were kids – like maybe pepper in a few “when we were young” chapters so you can see the full extent of their love leading up to their conflict. It’s not that the book is “missing” anything, I just find these two so endearing that I want to see more about where they came from and how their long relationship developed.
I also wish I could have seen more of Drew and Kendall’s backstory. Young marriage is a bizarre concept to me and I personally needed more context to understand the why of that.
I think if Jay’s backstory had a little bit more about his time in the military, his experience seeing other families torn apart, or some kind of context that would have helped you understand his side of the story, it would have been easier to understand his choice to leave her alone.
Listen, this is me working to PICK THIS BOOK APART because I thought the writing was phenomenal. Not often do I actually have an outward reaction to comedy or pain within a book, but Arika Maxwell was able to run me through my spectrum of emotions.
PLEASE GIVE US MORE, ARIKA!