Sharenthood: Why We Should Think before We Talk about Our Kids Online

Strong Ideas

by Leah A Plunkett, John Palfrey (Foreword)

From baby pictures in the cloud to a high school's digital surveillance how adults unwittingly compromise children's privacy online. Our children's first digital footprints are made before they can walk—even before they are born—as parents use fertility apps to aid conception, post ultrasound images, and share their baby's hospital mug shot. Then, in rapid succession come terabytes of baby pictures stored in the cloud, digital baby monitors with built-in artificial intelligence, and real-time updates from daycare. When school starts, there are cafeteria cards that catalog food purchases, bus passes that track when kids are on and off the bus, electronic health records in the nurse's office, and a school surveillance system that has eyes everywhere. Unwittingly, parents, teachers, and other trusted adults are compiling digital dossiers for children that could be available to everyone—friends, employers, law enforcement—forever. In this incisive book, Leah Plunkett examines the implications of “sharenthood”—adults' excessive digital sharing of children's data. She outlines the mistakes adults make with kids' private information, the risks that result, and the legal system that enables “sharenting.” Plunkett describes various modes of sharenting—including “commercial sharenting,” efforts by parents to use their families' private experiences to make money—and unpacks the faulty assumptions made by our legal system about children, parents, and privacy. She proposes a “thought compass” to guide adults in their decision making about children's digital play, forget, connect, and respect. Enshrining every false step and bad choice, Plunkett argues, can rob children of their chance to explore and learn lessons. The Internet needs to forget. We need to remember.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction

240 pages, Paperback

First published August 16, 2019

Reviews

[Sierra · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book had some great insights and cautions about posting about our children online. I especially liked Chapter 4 about "commercial sharenting", using your children or their images online for money.

But oh my gosh, the writing style felt obnoxious. The author frequently brought in weak analogies from popular children's stories to try to prove their point -- Tom Sawyer, Peter Pan, Mary Poppins, Narnia, you name it. I wish the author just wrote the darn book instead of trying to make everything a profound parallel.

[Diego Garrido · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tenía pendiente leer sobre la exposición de menores en redes sociales por parte de padres, educadores… y Sharenthood toca puntos interesantes para adentrarse en el tema y te ayuda a explorar tu opinión.

Entiendo que ser padre en una época donde lo digital forma parte de nuestro día a día debe ser difícil. Entiendo también que la exposición de menores en redes es un tema controvertido. Creo que leer este libro es necesario para plantearte lo que subes a redes sociales, especialmente, cuando lo que subes es información sobre tu hijo. Información sobre la que pierdes el control y no sabes dónde puede acabar, ni con qué intereses se puede usar. Además, hay un capítulo dedicado exclusivamente al “commercial sharenting” muy coherente con el contexto en el que vivimos donde influencers sacan tajada de exponer a sus hijos.

El mundo digital es un mundo que nos puede dar ansiedad al pensar sobre todo los posibles peligros que puede haber para los menores. De ahí podemos pensar sobre si prohibir la exposición de menores en redes o sobre si regularlo de alguna forma para que sea segura. Creo que muchos influmamis/influpapis le podrían dar una leída y una pensada a este libro, pero también perfiles de redes sociales sin influencia. Vamos, que se lo recomiendo a todo el mundo. Muy pertinente la explicación de porqué más madres que padres exponen a sus hijos.

Por último, el libro habla de legislación estadounidense, por tanto, no sé muy bien como esta la legislación en España (me tendré que informar mejor). Aun así, se entiende perfectamente cómo está el tema por EEUU.

También me lo he leído en inglés y quizá me he perdido algo. Sin duda, me lo volveré a leer en algún momento de mi vida.

[Shonte E · Rating 4 out of 5]

Brings up great points about how today's parents are creating an identity for their kids online that may follow their children into adulthood; whether that is a good or bad thing is up to the reader, I suppose. I liked that it went beyond just the idea that your kids may be embarrassed about online photos someday...the author dug in deep and talked about how "Big Data" is keeping tabs on ALL of the digital information you make accessible about your child (& yourself, but that's a topic for another day). We are all freely giving tons of data to these massive data brokers everyday, and likely have no idea what is happening to it. It's given me pause for sure, and I am sure what I read has wiggled into my brain and will hopefully make me think twice before sharing data or granting permission to apps and such in the future.

The book is easy to get through; it only took a few hours to read and did not have a ton of difficult legal or technical concepts, though there are some instances of those. She used good analogies to break down the more complex concepts.

Whether you decide to change your "sharenting" habits after this or not, I would suggest it as a good read for modern-day parents.

[Natasha · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book had promise in theory, but was sunk by the writing style, attempts to make it relatable through nonsensical stories, and weak theoretical examples. It was incredibly repetitive with no resolution around ways to actually protect data.

[Jean · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very thought provoking. The author drives home the point on how every tidbit of our/our children’s lives can be mined for information, without unknown purposes and unintended consequences. However, I had hoped for more discussion on how current laws have dealt with data privacy. I also could do without the slightly cheesy attempt with hashtag humor. After reading though, I am convinced that parents have an important duty in protecting children from becoming simply data points and it starts with thoughtful considerations on which aspects of children’s lives should be “digitalized” in the first place.

[Brian · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were some pretty good points in here, but this was mainly written for a younger crowd. Fairly amusing at times - the author does a pretty good job of keeping a running "Tom Sawyer in the modern world" analogy to illustrate certain points - and there wasn't necessarily a lot of "legalese" (but still, some). Mostly a lot of worse-case scenarios about how posting info (especially pictures) of kids can come back to haunt you (and them).

[Michele Waggoner · Rating 4 out of 5]

She made a lot of excellent points. If i could turn back the clock and make different parenting decisions, knowing what I know now about these social media companies, I never would have shared any images of my children online. I think that all of us and society as a whole need to reevaluate our relationship with big tech and social media. Giving kids unlimited freedom online in exchange for less freedom to play and explore in the real world will never make sense to me. Modern-day parenting choices are hurting our children. As parents, we need to take the smartphones away from the kids, regulate our own smartphone and social media behavior, and let kids play outside again.

[Kylie Brooks · Rating 3 out of 5]

Tech usage is always a fascinating topic for me, so I enjoyed the premise, thesis, and main points of this book. I think it is very wise to consider and reconsider our own usage of tech and social media as it relates to our families and children, as well as our own personal usage.

I did not enjoy the writing style—trying to be cutesy/Tom Sawyer broken metaphors? But, like I said, the overall ideas here are super important and should be required for every adult who interacts with children.

[Christie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found the style of writing of this book fairly distracting, not to mention I have the bad habit of not reading endnotes and thus likely missed the information I was actually looking for. I'd hoped for a more practical (i.e. how might you navigate modeling using technology with your kids well?) resource whereas this was primarily a legal text attempting to be more accessible via frequent comparison to historical stories of childhood.

[Stefany · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author's writing style was hard for me to follow at times, but she brought up very good points about trying to protect our kids from big data and so much else tech-wise. I wasn't aware of how much data gets shared through schools and other means over which parents have little or no control. Her points about what parents put out on social media following their kids even years from now were interesting too. Gives us a lot to think about in this digital age.

[Ocean G · Rating 3 out of 5]

This mainly brings up questions we will all have in the coming years. I'm not sure how much new material was added. In fact, it would have been interesting to take it further, and see if parents end up trying to "game" the social media system by carefully calibrating their kids' social media presence so that when they are applying for college or a job it shows them in the best light possible from birth. I'm sure this is already happening somewhere.

https://4201mass.blogspot.com/

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Love the word....Sharenthood. This book will certainly make you think before you hit share, like a post and think about how far reaching your social media footprint is. Although this book might frighten a parent and make you remove yourself from any technology, keep in mind the ability to lock down your sites and remember a post is forever.

[Berit · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book very insightful and a lot of fun to read. The author does a brilliant job of unsettling our complacency about sharing our kids' data online (and even about doing things we didn't realize meant sharing that data!). Yet her engaging and thoughtful writing style make it easier to take the signal she's sending to all of us: the situation is urgent, and inaction is neglect. Would recommend to any parent or anyone who cares about either parents or children.

[Viral · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thanks to MIT Press for the ARC at BEA 2019. I didn't find this book as interesting as I'd hoped. It covered an interesting topic, how parents should think about social media in the era where we are raising children in and with it, but had little in the way of recommendations. Don't really recommend.

[Chris · Rating 4 out of 5]

A must-read for any parent. Plunkett is an extremely clear writer, but more importantly she offers articulated predictions about the digital land that we parents can never imagine — but our kids will find to be cold, hard reality. Her too-clever turns of phrases and innumerable pop culture references Will turn some readers off, but they are welcome zing in an otherwise scholarly book.

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is interesting to think all the ways data is collected I wish she would elaborate why people want data so much in reality instead of suppose this...and maybe that is reality and she just didn’t want to call it out

[Violet · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gotta say, reading this after watching Elon try to consolidate all the government-collected data on every American has kinda lowered the stakes on sharenting. Still, don't share pics of your kids on the internet.

[Lady Brainsample · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was much deeper than the cover made me expect. A lot to chew on.

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

This read more like a book for law school than I was expecting, but it raises interesting questions.

[Jessy Plante · Rating 3 out of 5]

Crucial information provided in a pretty okay way.

[Holly H · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked the ideas in the book but oh my gosh does the writing come off as whiny.

[Kelsey Crawford · Rating 4 out of 5]

Inquisitive thoughts from a lawyers perspective. Stirs thoughts on the current social media culture with children and their futures in mind.

[Hannah Savickas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Many helpful insights to think on. Didn’t agree with some of her solutions for kids safety online but helpful to think through nonetheless!

[Kendall Marie]

you know what, i finished enough of this to count . . .

[Jilly Marie C · Rating 2 out of 5]

Definitely brought up some thought provoking points; however, there were too many comparisons to classic children’s stories like Peter Pan that reduced the effectiveness of the delivery.

[Dave · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some good ideas but goes down too many tangents.