Exiting Nirvana: A Daughter's Life with Autism

by Clara Claiborne Park, Oliver Sacks (Foreword by)

Exiting Nirvana details Clara Claiborne Park's continuing efforts to have her daughter Jessy 'exit Nirvana,' develop as an artist, and connect with our world.

Genres: Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Nonfiction, Psychology, Memoir, Biography, Mental Health, Autobiography

240 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2001

About the author

Clara Justine Claiborne graduated from Radcliffe College in 1944. She married physicist David Park in 1945, and they both attended the University of Michigan, where she earned a master's degree in 1949, majoring in English literature. They moved to Massachusetts in 1951, where Park taught at Berkshire Community College and then at Williams College, where she was on the faculty from 1975 to 1994.

She and her husband had four children, of whom one, the artist Jessica Park, was autistic. Her book 'The Siege', about Jessica's first eight years, was the first major challenge to the idea that autism was caused by the parents. The followup 'Exiting Nirvana' continued the story of Jessica and her family.

Reviews

[Astraea · Rating 2 out of 5]

I originally wrote this Feb. 25, 2008, but mistakenly posted it as a comment.

Park tends to emphasize her autistic daughter's autism in terms of deviance and abnormality instead of just seeing her as a person. Wrong, lady -- your daughter is human. Autism doesn't make a person less human.

I usually don't hold with person-first language (like "person with autism" as if it were some disease), but I could have used a little more of that spirit in this book. It's possible that she doesn't actually think of Jess this way in daily life and just came across that way in the book -- it may have been a case of editing. However, the overall impression is one of viewing her daughter as a deviant in constant need of correction to bring her even close to human norms.

This is the question I have always had. Why is it necessary to exit nirvana? Why are we always the ones who have to change to please the Normals? Why is it laid on our shoulders, why are we the ones expected to make the sacrifices?

Jay

[Kate · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was difficult to follow, often the writing did not seem complete. Some of it may be due to the fact that Parks writes in Jessy speak. I am wondering if I had read the first book The Siege if this book would have made more sense. It wasn't until half way through the book that I began to see that Parks was showing the reader what life with Jessy was like rather than who Jessy is.

[Natalie · Rating 4 out of 5]

The description of this book doesn't really do it nearly enough the justice it deserves. I found it incredibly enlightening to read. The way her mother describes her daughters autistic habits is amazing, because it really enables you to have some kind of understanding of what it must be like. I think after reading this I have a new understanding of people with autism and how challenging the every day can be, as well as how I could possibly make things easier, especially after having previously looked after patients with autism... I never realised how my actions could have been a detriment. Anyway, I'm keen to read the book that was written by her mother about her earlier childhood, as 'Exiting Nirvana' doesn't start from the very, very beginning, but can still be easily read and understood. I never found it dull or dry to read, despite the statistics and information from medical journals. The only thing I would have liked was maybe more of Jessy's point of view and ideas, but I suppose that's where autism plays its part, and would make that a challenge. I give it about 7/10.

[Mary]

A moving tale of a mother's (and father's, sister's, brother's) work with an autistic child, who finally was accepted by public school and with huge energy input by school, neighbors, and extended family grew up to be an accomplished artist, participating family member, and mostly a delightful person.

[Beth Peninger · Rating 3 out of 5]

Clara Claiborne Park writes an informative piece on life with an autistic child - adult. My friend, Marcia, recommended it knowing that I love to read about different topics but at a level that the normal person can comprehend! :)
Park does a good job painting a picture of Jessy and how she thinks. It gives the reader another side to the life of an autistic person and their family. I was impressed with the efforts of the family to educate Jessy, to give her normal life jobs, etc. They raised an extremely bright woman who no doubt made progress in spite of autism because of her family and their involvement in her life.
My complaint with the book was its inability to really capture me. Perhaps that was me and my divided attentions while trying to read it or perhaps it was because some of Park's chapters get long and fairly repetitive. After so many chapters of describing Jessy's paintings and thought processes I felt like saying, at times, "Okay I get it - can we move on?"
But all in all it was a good read that provided me with more information about life with autism.

[Joanne Clarke Gunter · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the excellent follow-up book to Clara Claiborne Park's "The Seige" which I read a few weeks ago. Both books chronicle her daughter Jessy Park's autism and her many accomplishments as well as the very weird (and often very annoying) traits common to most autistic people. In this book, Jessy is now an adult, holds a job, and is an artist whose very detailed paintings are widely sold. But she is still autistic and still lives a life that is very regimented and quirky and she still has difficulty with human interaction, as she always will. If you have an interest in autism and the many facets of an autistic personality, I highly recommend this book.

[Les · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a well-written, almost lyrical book about a woman who doesn't understand lyrical and wouldn't like it if she read it. It's written for non-autistic people who want a glimpse into what it might be like to be autistic, and what it is like to live with a profoundly autistic person. Rainman got it right, apparently. I enjoyed this book immensely.

[Robin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a really interesting book that shared the life of a woman with autism. It gave great insight into her growth and development over the years. Her mother was an amazing note keeper and kept so many details that the book really caught the important and extraordinary aspects of Jessy's life. I really enjoyed the book.

[Lynnea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very fascinating! Very good! Even though there were some parts that were hard to get through, I couldn't put it down! There were parts that were too text-bookish for me and other parts that were just so bizarre, as autism is.

[Ariane Zurcher · Rating 5 out of 5]

The single best memoir about a mother and her autistic daughter that I've read.

[Barbara Wussow · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very well written non-clinical book about autism.

[Julia Rojas · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked this book. It was well-written and it had a good story. I liked the first chapter of this book. It had cute pictures in it.

[Cindy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well written and perceptive book. Interesting insights into how Jessy thinks and why she acts as she does.

[Kathy · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5