The Leader's Journey: Accepting the Call to Personal and Congregational Transformation

by Jim Herrington, Trisha Taylor, R. Robert Creech

This book helps pastors and church leaders understand the role their personal transformation as Jesus's disciples plays in effective congregational leadership. It shifts the focus of leadership from techniques and charisma to spiritual transformation and developing emotional maturity so leaders can effectively lead congregations to embrace change. End-of-chapter discussion questions are included. The first edition sold more than 20,000 copies and has been regularly used as a textbook over the past fifteen years. The second edition has been revised throughout and includes a greater emphasis on Bowen Family Systems Theory.

Genres: Leadership, Christian, Nonfiction

256 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 17, 2016

About the author

Jim Herrington is a photographer whose portraits of celebrities including Benny Goodman, Willie Nelson, The Rolling Stones, Cormac McCarthy, Morgan Freeman and Dolly Parton have appeared on the pages of Vanity Fair, Rolling Stone, Esquire, GQ, Outside and Men’s Journal as well as on scores of album covers for more than three decades. He has photographed international ad campaigns for clients such as Thule, Trek Bikes, Gibson Guitars and Wild Turkey Bourbon.

Herrington co-produced the Jerry Lee Lewis episode for the HBO/Cinemax series ‘Mike Judge Presents: Tales from the Tour Bus’ that premiered September 2017.

For nearly two decades, he has been also been working on a portrait series of early-to-mid 20th Century mountain climbing legends. The result is 'The Climbers', a collection of sixty black-and-white photographs that document these rugged individualists, including the likes of Royal Robbins, Reinhold Messner, Yvon Chouinard and Riccardo Cassin. Between the 1920s and 1970s, determined men and women used primitive gear along with their considerable wits, talent, and fortitude to tackle unscaled peaks around the world. In these images, Herrington has captured their humanity, obsession, intellect, and frailty.

The book, published in October 2017, was awarded the Mountaineering History prize at the 2017 Banff Film & Book Festival.

Herrington’s photography has been exhibited in solo and group gallery shows in New York City, Los Angeles, Washington DC, Nashville, Milwaukee and Charlotte, and is in numerous private collections.

Reviews

[Samuel Kassing · Rating 4 out of 5]

An excellent introduction to Bowan’s Family Systems. I’d highly recommend if you’re looking to add another layer to your leadership skills.

[Jeremy Fritz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Probably my favorite book on leadership that I’ve read.

Textbook for Counseling in the Church 1 at CTS

[Eli Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved learning about learning systems, triangulation, and the importance of differentiation of self in ministry. Practical information for leading congregations (aka groups of students) and the positive changes for your congregation when you become a nonanxious leader! And also generally helpful in understanding my own family of origin.

[Peter Yock · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read the first edition of this book several years ago. I remember liking it but not finding it all that helpful in a practical sense. I can only conclude I wasn't reading very carefully - not fully absorbing, not thinking carefully through the questions at the end of the chapter... it's a very helpful read. I'm finding the intersection of Bowen Family Systems Therapy with Christian ministry and family life to be one of the most helpful tools - or frames - to keep growing in godliness, maturity, and Christian leadership. The whole book was helpful, but the final chapter on how to synthesise Bowen Family Systems Therapy with Christian theology was the cherry on top of an already-tasty cake. I suspect I'll be recommending this one to Christian leaders, particularly those in ministry and with families.

[Kaden · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall, I did quite enjoy this book! The authors challenge readers with a framework of personal transformation to become non-anxious leaders in an increasingly anxious society, particularly with a Christian lens. Specifically, they look to Bowen Family Systems Theory (BFST). With zero prior knowledge or experience with BFST, I had a hard time understanding the first half of this book and the different ideas and concepts being introduced (such as living systems, differentiation, triangling, togetherness force, and thinking systems). However, I think the authors do a good job of breaking down concepts of BFST in a fairly approachable and practical way in the latter half of the book. It's definitely a book that is challenging the way I view relationships and my own emotional maturity within them, along with challenging how I view my own ministry. I'm interested in coming back to this book as I try to practice some of the concepts, review growth, and add updates to this review.

[Brendan Burns · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very Helpful

Learning more about Family System Theory can be challenging because in one sense it’s so conceptual and hard to put into practice. The Leader’s Journey goes at it from one angle that helps one grasp the major concepts. In fact, I’m going to read it one more time to be sure I understand it. I recommend this book for any Christian leader that wants to look at leadership from a different perspective than the usual cause-effect thinking we are used to.

[Bill Pence · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was introduced to some of the concepts in this book a few weeks ago during our NXTGEN Pastors Cohort when we covered the “Leading in a Chronically Anxious Culture” module. I had been exposed to some of the material earlier when we covered the “Caring for Ourselves in Light of Our Family of Origin” module. The book is a basic overview of some of the principles of leadership in a living system, which is a different way of thinking about leadership. Leadership that recognizes an organization or a congregation as a living system requires a different way of thinking, and is not about learning a set of techniques. Learning this new way of thinking is about the disciplined practice of living out our values and guiding principles despite many anxiety-producing obstacles that come our way.
The authors wrote the book to offer a practical pathway to transforming the lives of pastors and congregational leaders. They tell us that we cannot lead others in transformation unless we are experiencing it ourselves.
The authors introduce many concepts and terms that may be new to most leaders. These ideas are rooted in the work of Dr. Murray Bowen’s Family Systems Theory. The book has been organized into four sections and at the end of each chapter are questions for reflective self-assessment.
When the authors talk about personal transformation, they are talking about disrupting patterns of disobedience and developing patterns of obedience that allow you to increasingly embody the gospel in your life. They use the life of Jesus and the conceptual framework of living systems to guide the reader on the journey of personal transformation. The authors tell us that leaders need not make the journey of personal transformation alone. Leaders have apprenticed our lives to Jesus to follow him. He is our teacher, our coach, and our guide on the journey.
The authors believe that transformation is a process that involves the whole person, and they believe there are three dynamic processes in the Christian life that help to grow the whole person to maturity:
• Personal transformation happens best as an inside-out process of committing to obey all the teachings of Christ.
• Personal transformation happens best in the context of a loving community that extends grace and truth.
• Personal transformation happens best when we develop a reflective lifestyle.
Among the many topics covered in the book are personal transformation, family of origin, a chronically anxious system, being a less anxious leader, spiritual disciplines, differentiation of self, reactivity, emotional maturity, emotional triangles, conflict, distant relationships, overfunctioning and underfunctioning, herding, ways to calm yourself, crisis, the togetherness and individuality force, polarization, family system, a family diagram, cut-off relationships, boundaries, guiding principles, the transformational learning model, learning and mastery.
The book often references Edwin Friedman’s book A Failure of Nerve. Friedman focuses on five central traits of a chronically anxious system: heightened reactivity, herding, blame displacement, demand for a quick fix, and poor leadership. The book includes a number of stories to help illustrate the concepts introduced in the book.
As to whether Christian leaders can work with a theory, such as Bowen Family Systems Theory, which is based on human science, the authors write that leaders can learn to accommodate scientific learning and their theological constructs so that they can occupy space next to each other; they don’t have to reject one or the other.
The book concludes with three appendices, a list of recommended reading and a helpful glossary, as there a many new terms introduced in the book.
Appendix A Constructing a Family Diagram
Appendix B Developing a Rhythm of Spiritual Practices
Appendix C Bowen-Based Training Programs
Below are 10 helpful quotes from the book:
1. Differentiation deals with the effort to define oneself, to control oneself, to become a more responsible person, and to permit others to be themselves as well.
2. The most powerful source of emotional gravity in most of our lives comes from family.
3. Leaders who want to understand the context in which they carry out their role learn to pay attention to the presence of anxiety in their system.
4. You must learn to be able to see what is going on around you, observe the anxiety, note your own part in it, and manage yourself amid the pressure.
5. The most strategic role in the system is that of the calm observer.
6. As the anxiety in the system rises, so must our resolve to remain composed.
7. A system that operates without well-differentiated leadership makes it extremely difficult for such a leader to develop.
8. Taking responsibility for our feelings (not denying them, repressing them, or blaming them on others) is one of the most helpful things we can do to become a less-anxious leader.
9. Defining self means that we consistently and calmly tell others what we think and choose, without demanding that they think and choose the same way.
10. When we are anxious, we react to the pressures of the moment in a way that does not reflect our guiding principles. We do this because we give in to our habitual behavior rather than pausing to think about other available options. Therefore, we must develop the ability to think before we speak and to pause before we act.

[Brett Barnes · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this is the best book on leadership I have ever read. It builds on the premises that the leadership task does not take place in a vacuum (i.e. systems and cultures are already in place) and that a leader’s transformation is critical to his/her effectiveness.

[Bogdan Javgurean · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book talks about the importance of personal transformation for a leader’s growth. The authors use the Family Systems paradigm to better understand the context in which our transformation will be happening. Leaders are supposed to see the anxiety that lies beneath every conflict and become a calm, non-anxious presence to be able to navigate life personally and also lead others into a better place. Leaders are to understand how they were formed by their family and address that formation in a wise healing manner. The authors also have some practical suggestions for how to become a calm leader who responds rather than reacts.
This book was probably in the top two I’ve read in this class. I loved the emphasis on personal transformation and maturity for a leader. I come to see that this is really what makes a leader stand out. The ability to see beneath the outward storm of a person or people and not get involved in it personally is gold. It is so hard to do, but at the same time so crucial. A child needs someone like that to regulate him, a spouse, a family, a church, a nation, everyone needs such a presence to lean on. The one who is able to do this hard work becomes a leader. Or, on the other side, the one who has become a leader, will be forced to develop this maturity if he is to stay a leader.
One specific description of leadership in the book surprised me. The author was saying that a leader should not focus too much on the feelings of other and making them feel better because in doing so we can lose focus of our greater mission and become irrational. It can be a way to avoid personal accountability for each person which stalls maturity. It caught my attention because it seemed a bit counterintuitive. For example in relationship with my

wife, I always thought I should try to focus more on what she feels rather than what she says in an argument to be able to lead her well. In the end, there should probably be a balance of seeing feeling for what they are without dismissing them, but at the same time not getting carried away from the greater mission by them.
It was also interesting to think about family relationships. The authors are saying that the path to maturity is only though the difficult relationships of our family of origin. The temptation to avoid these relationships is high but if we do we will not be able to heal what happened there and thus mature.

[Andrew Vanover · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this as part of a cohort with other pastors across 6 months of 2023. I have been reading and listening to Bowen family systems theory for over a decade. It finally "clicked" for me through this experience. I missed chapters 7-8.

Perhaps the greatest gift a pastor can offer her/his congregation is her/his own ongoing transformation that the Holy Spirit is doing in her/his life.

Quotes
An effective leader is a person who has the capacity to know and do the right things (1)
We focus on managing ourselves rather than managing others (2)
Judgment, criticism, guilt, or shame can produce short-term behavioral change, but meaningful, long-term, inside-out change requires an atmosphere permeated by grace (17)
Seeing the old self and learning to disrupt its behaviors becomes central to the work of discipleship (19)
Leadership always takes place in the context of a living system, and the system plays by a set of observable rules (40)
He [Murray Bowen] concluded that from the late 1940s through 1972, American society had entered a severe regression (93)
Ron Richardson: If you are being sympathetic, feeling guilty, assuming responsibility, getting angry with someone else, or getting frustrated in hearing someone's story then you are in a triangle. (106)
Richard Foster: Superficiality is the curse of our age. The doctrine of instant satisfaction is a primary spiritual problem. The desperate need today is not for a greater number of intelligent people, or gifted people, but for deep people (149)
Assignments of this kind are based on the belief that change comes best when we identify the behavior we want to adjust and ask a community that is full of grace and truth to support us and hold us accountable for making the changes (172)

This book shows a way of changing thinking from cause-and-effect to systems thinking (81)

[Mitchell Traver · Rating 3 out of 5]

In some ways, I think this book is really good. More than anything, the crux of the book seems to be summed up in the transformation of the self. Essentially, when we are able to be transformed from the inside out, rather than focusing on other people or external circumstances as what needs to change, real progress can be made. Leaders are people who see their need for transformation, by the power of the Holy Spirit, as *the* thing upon which effective leadership systems stand or fall. The issue I have with this approach, ironically, is it centers the self and defines the self in a way that strikes me as wildly modern, western, and individualistic. There were many times, in reading on Bowen Theory, that I wondered what Christians of other times or places might say in response to, say, the role our families our culture have on our beliefs and decisions. To put things plainly, the authors try to dissuade from “misreading” Bowen Theory as hyper-individualistic and in conflict with scripture (the whole last chapter is devoted to this). I don’t find what’s said here necessarily in conflict with Scripture or historic Christian thought, per se. For me, the book just came across as very niche. I could be completely wrong and/or misreading, but the individualistic strains were too pervasive throughout the book for me to give it more than three stars. Worth the read, but you may see what I mean when you’re done.

[Alan Rathbun · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book. I read the original version around 2009 and was happy to see a revised version (2020). There are significant changes that make the book worth reading even if you read the original and if you haven’t read the original book, definitely read this version instead.

The bottom line is that we live in an increasingly anxious world and effective leaders in families, churches and organizations are leaders who see the anxiety in the relationship systems around them and respond with calmness and wisdom instead of reacting with their own anxiety and adding or even multiplying the anxiety. Added or multiplied anxiety always leads to black and white thinking and shallow decisions that hinder personal, family and organization transformation.

If you are familiar with Bowen Family Systems Theory, this book will flow easily for you. If not, this is a good introduction to BFST and you will be learning new terms and concepts that will help you lead as a fruit of your own transformation.

[Joel Wentz · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a really, really good explanation and breakdown of Family Systems Theory for a Christian minister/leader. I especially appreciated the final section, which includes a thoughtful presentation of spiritual formation as the path for transformation, as well as some considerations of integrating the insights of Family Systems into a Christian theological paradigm. I do wish there were a few more case studies, as the anecdotes are some of the most helpful pages, but overall really good stuff.

I've already studied a good bit of systems concepts and books, so it's hard for me to tell if this would be a good introduction, or if the reader should already know some concepts before going into it. My hunch is that something like Steve Cuss's book (Managing Leadership Anxiety) or maybe Peter Steinke's stuff would be a better first-step. Either way, this is great.

[Peter Dray · Rating 3 out of 5]

The premise of this book is that our web of emotional networks with other people - what, following Murray Bowen, the authors call "living systems" - prevent leaders from 'doing the right thing.' We can be pressurised by peers, we can be incapacitated by fear and carry around expectations formed in us by our families right from early age. Noticing, understanding and relating to this anxiety is key to maintaining calmness and leading others well.

I appreciated some of the insights of the early chapters, and the call to 'self-differentiation' i.e. being neither detached from others or feeling hostage to their feelings, was helpful. I am still left with questions about exactly how compatible some of the secular terminologies and concepts are with Christian anthropology and theology.

[Daniel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Basically an introduction to Bowen Family Systems Theory and applied to church leadership, but it's generally applicable. It sees chronic anxiety as the defining problem of our age, and learning to identify and deal with it the key to both personal and organization transformation.

I found it very useful, enough that I took good notes as I read, because much (all?) of it applies to families. Identifying emotional triangles, working to be a calm, principled presence - really helpful in understanding family dynamics.

[Gavin Brand · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book reads like an application of other foundational family systems theory works (see Bowen, Friedman, etc) for pastors and ministry leaders. I found it extremely practical and helpful in thinking through the relational dynamics in my own family of origin and congregation. With questions at the end of each chapter, it would be a great group study book for ministry practitioners.

[Jon Anderson]

Brings family systems theory to bear on personal and congregational change. Excellent in its emphasis on thinking systems and watching processes. Major paradigm shift in how to view relational dynamics.

[Josh Sweeney · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s a decent family systems style book. Not sure if the congregational thought process is comparable.

[Stephanie Nelson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This update is worth getting - I read the first edition 15 years ago, and their inclusion of Bowen's family systems theory is very helpful.

All the material in it is non-negotiable for a leader.

[Caleb · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful Christian take on Bowen Theory for leaders; sometimes I found the case studies helpful, and sometimes I found them distracting.

[Jen · Rating 2 out of 5]

I would love to read a theologically robust book on developing emotional maturity and leadership within and as a part of a living system. This is not that book. Emotions are viewed with suspicion both by Bowden and from a Christian perspective. I was hoping to read a confluence of family systems theory and Christian theology in service to leadership. Instead of addressing the real problem of sin, both personal and corporate, the absence or presence of character in a leader, and the role of the Holy Spirit in systems, the "problem" was flattened into "anxiety" and solution was "spiritual disciplines." Anxious systems (and people) are a diagnostic category and certainly exist, and spiritual disciplines are good, but the Leader's Journey offered nothing new to that paradigm.

[Danny Joseph · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is likely read best in bite-sized portions and reflected on. I love the style of ministry that concentrates on the minister alongside the ministry. Paul tells Timothy to keep a watch on both your life and doctrine. (1 Timothy 4:16) This book concentrates on watching your life. The leader's life will always invariably leak into the leadership itself, so this book may save churches a lot of heartache. Creech does a good job looking under the hood and showing why certain issues and conflicts in the ministry context may not be the disease itself, but a symptom of a leader who isn't emotionally mature.

Excellent book. Could do with some tightening up. A lot of excellent points are at times hidden by a touch of longwindedness. It's the type of book that I would summarize and explain to a friend instead of recommending the book itself.

[J. J.]

Excellent primer on family systems theory. Concrete illustrations, relevant stories, good soul-oriented tools.