Boyology: A Teen Girl's Crash Course in All Things Boy

by Sarah O'Leary Burningham, Keri Smith (Illustrator)

A crash course in understanding boys, Boyology delves into the many mysteries of teen guys, dissecting flirting tactics, offering dating suggestions, and providing tips on forming solid friendships. It's an up-close-and-personal look at boys in their natural habitats, with analyses by teen girlsand insight from the boys.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help

168 pages, Paperback

First published April 15, 2009

About the author

Even though I’m not technically a teenager anymore, I still consider myself a teenager at heart. I love stealing my sisters’ clothes and a good door slam, and since I write young adult books, I keep up on things cool through all the teenagers I know and meet.

I got the idea for my first book, How to Raise Your Parents: A Teen Girl’s Survival Guide, when I was 16. After coming home late for curfew (again) and fighting with my parents about various forms of punishment, I realized they were as clueless as I was. (This was a major revelation for me!) The idea for the book was born. But I didn’t stop there.

While interviewing and surveying thousands of teenagers across the country, I realized dating (or lack thereof) is as big of a mystery as parents, and I got started on my second book, Boyology: A Teen Girl’s Crash Course in All Things Boy.

I also write dear sarah, an advice column on ABC Family’s website for their hit show The Secret Life of the American Teenager. I have the best job in the world!

When I’m not writing or working at my day job in book publishing, you can probably find me at the movies (I’m a total movie addict–Netflix and the big screen), riding my road bike, learning to sew, trying (not very well) to cook, and perfecting the art of napping. I’m addicted to Dole strawberry popsicles and have to limit myself to one box a week. It sounds easy but trust me, it is not. I love to read and get tons of great book recommendations from teens, so keep them coming! I also drive a cherry red Vespa, spend a ridiculous amount of time on Twitter, and am hard at work on my next book about teen friendships. I consider myself a pretty good friend, but as in all things, I’m still learning. Thank goodness I have such amazing friends to take care of me. I’m a lucky girl.

Reviews

[Eve QRay (Mama QRay) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Cute and surprisingly informative. I picked up this ARC because we booked Sarah to come into Changing Hands in June. What did a 25 year old mother of two learn from reading Boyology? Quite a bit actually. More about the behavior of my younger siblings, but it also made me flash back to those awkward tween and teen years a times more than I like. Though, I must give thanks to Sarah for clearing up a few, still confusing, Jr. High situations.

I would recommend this for parents who's young girl gets... well... crushed by her first crush.

[Laura · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is the most toxic piece of trash you could possibly expose your child to; it's so bad it makes me physically sick. Instead of teaching our daughters things like, oh, positive communication skills, or, say, how to see themselves as equal peers to boys (who, did you know, are also 3-dimensional humans who can learn to respect and communicate!); instead of teaching our daughters to learn to value their minds, their interests and ideas, this book instead feeds in to exhaustingly stale misogynistic trope of equating happiness (read:social status) with male attention. GREAT JOB BOYOLOGY. You've set our youth back 60 years. This is literally feminism 101. Actually a pre-requisite to feminism 101. A shred of critical thinking, please.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

I won this book off the Radio/fb. I know nothing about this book. It will be intresting to find out about. The title sure sounds fun.

I found out that this is not a novel, but a self-help book. It was a lot of fun with good advice. I have passed it along to some of my nieces. They are enjoying reading it.

[Grace · Rating 4 out of 5]

It Is For Teenagers!!

[Tanvi · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is a terrible book that reinforces misogynistic stereotypes. The book isn't really useful to me as I don't plan on dating guys, but I introduced this waste of paper to my guy friends and they showed me how inaccurate it is. This book is also absurdly toxic, as it only makes girls have a low self image of themselves so they can look "presentable" in front of their crush.

It's also aggressively straight, they mention the l-word (but it means "love", not lesbian). The author boasts about how feminist and inclusive it is but it ends up generalizing both women and men.

The final thing that bugs me is the fact that they mention Sleater-Kinney as a band to listen to with your boyfriend as it is both "boy friendly" and "girl friendly".... wtf? Sleater-Kinney are great but this book isn't.

[Antonio N · Rating 1 out of 5]

1.5/5 Pierwsza częsc ksiażki, istny dramat - mnostwo stereotypow i krzywdzących wypowiedzi, zas druga częśc nie byla bardzo zła - najbardziej pomocny byl rozdział "Przyjaźń czy miłosc". Podumowujac - raczej nie polecam tej ksiazki

[Cameryn · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked this book. I don't read anything that isn't absolutely fictitious that often but this was pretty good.

[Tosca Wijns-Van Eeden · Rating 2 out of 5]

A fun book for American teen girls. Very stereotype, and funny. Though if I had been a teen when this came out, it would have been a life saver!

There are some serious good tips in there!

[Jennifer Wardrip · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reviewed by K. Osborn Sullivan for TeensReadToo.com

Just like the title says, BOYOLOGY is a "crash course," although it's more of a crash course in dating, rather than boys in general. For instance, if you want to know what a "safety" is in football so you can have a conversation with your brother on a Sunday afternoon, then this book is not what you're looking for. However, if you want to figure out whether your brother's friend is flirting with you while you're all watching Sunday afternoon football, then this is the book for you.

Before we go any further, I must offer a clarification: Where I'm from, teenage males are not referred to as "boys." They are "guys." For me, the word "boy" conjures up images of dimpled 5-year-olds with gaps where their front teeth should be. The only people around here who call teenagers "boys" are school principals. This is doubtless just a regional difference, so if you're from Chicago like I am, just mentally substitute the word "guy" for "boy" when you're reading BOYOLOGY (i.e. GUYOLOGY). Please don't let that little objection turn you off from this book, because it has a lot of good advice to offer about boys or guys or whatever you call them.

BOYOLOGY contains a great deal of useful information for teenage girls who are trying to find their way around the confusing world of crushes and dating. While much of the advice might be things you have heard before in one form or another, it's nice to have it reinforced by a neutral third-party (i.e. someone who's not your mom or your minister). For instance, the book tells girls to be themselves and establish their physical boundaries before things get hot and heavy. There are also plenty of things that you probably haven't heard before, including fun date ideas for couples or groups, step-by-step instructions on how to kiss, and a quiz to see if you're a good date or not.

The book is optimistic, by which I mean that it spends relatively little time on the "What if he's not into you?" scenarios, and many more pages on successful flirting, dating, and becoming a couple. The author balances her approach by offering not only the fun side of dating, but also worthwhile safety information. She points out the importance of letting your parents know if you're "seeing" someone online, as well as how to avoid and, if necessary, deal with sexual assault. I recommend her tip on taking a minute to program a taxi service phone number into your cell phone so you can always get home safely. The book even has a chapter at the end about breaking up. You might never need tips on maintaining your dignity when running into the ex and his new girlfriend, but when you do need them, they're worth their weight in gold.

The book doesn't just offer the author's perspective. It has words of wisdom from celebrities, like Daniel Radcliffe and Zac Efron, and it provides advice from actual teenagers (lots of them boys/guys) who have "been there, done that." Even the author's husband (who used to be a boy/guy) chimes in from time to time.

About the only problem I ran across in BOYOLOGY is the same problem that other books like this can't really avoid. Books that rely on current culture become outdated quickly. There is so much time between when a book is written and when it's finally released, that there's no way for authors to be up-to-date on fads and popular expressions. For instance, this book discusses texting, but there's no mention of Twitter. It mentions MySpace, but not Facebook. In fact, this review itself will be outdated in a few months because Twitter and Facebook will probably have been replaced by something new. Other than that minor complaint, this is an interesting and useful book for teenage girls. The advice is pretty timeless and the celebrity quotes are an interesting addition.

So my advice is: Pick up a copy, have fun, and good luck out there!

[Heather Baucum]

Citation
Burningham, S. (2009). Boyology: A Teen Girl's Crash Course in All Things Boy. San Francisco: Chronicle Books.

Audience

I would give this book to just about any girl in high school who is thinking about dating the dreaded teenage boy. Not all of them are the stereotypes that the book laughingly pokes fun at, but the 14 – 18 year old in high school is definitely a unique specimen. I think that this would also make for a great case study in a psychology class about how the opposite sex is viewed in current society and how our traditional gender roles and expectations have changed over time.

Selection Criteria
Accuracy – This book has some factual pieces about high school boys and how they act. The most factual pieces come in talking about how you can control your own behavior around them before, during, and after a relationship.
Authority – The author of this book has written one other book about being a teenage girl. However, she is current advice columnist for ABC Family. She talks with teenagers on a daily basis and has gathered much of her data for this book from her interactions with teenagers.
Relevance - I think that this book is relevant in the fact that it sparks a reading interest of students. Girls are always trying to figure out boys and this book gives some practical advice in that area. I also believe that this book would be relevant to a debate class for a discussion about gender roles. This is always a great debate because it is so easy to get people rattled about what their gender role is in society.
Appropriateness – I believe that the reading level and intellectual level of this book are appropriate for high school students because they do not blindly accept all that they are told or read. Girls can take the advice from this book and make their own decisions about their behaviors. I think that the emotional level of students would match this book because they can connect with their own personal experiences with the opposite sex.
Scope – This book covers the basics of relationships in high school. It covers everything from crushes to setting your boundaries in the relationship which is a very important part of any high school relationship. While it does go into depth in certain parts of relationships, it talks about keeping an open discussion with your parents when it comes to your life.
Literary Merit – The illustrations of this book remind me of teenage magazines. This illustrations would interest readers. The writing in this book is also comparable to many teenage magazines like J14 or TigerBeat. The writing style, which not the typical non-fiction style, will engage many readers by its humorous treatment of relationships.
Value - I think that this book would spark the reading interest of many girls. I also think that there would be boys who would secretly read this book as well, just to see what women are saying about their gender.

Review Source
Elaine Baran Black. School Library Journal. (2010)

SOL
AP Psych

Compare and contrast motivational theories (drive reduction theory, arousal theory, general adaptation theory) including strengths and weaknesses of each

Ordering information
Boyology: A Teen Girl's Crash Course in All Things Boy. Non-Fiction. 168p. 2009. Chronicle Books. 0811864367. $12.99

Personal Response
When I began reading this book, I couldn’t help but giggle to myself. It took me back to being in eighth and ninth grade and beginning to understand relationships. Looking back on my high school relationships, I now know I should have waited until college, but this book would have been some good advice towards making good choices in relationships. It was a great reminder that we need to keep an open line with teenagers about where they can go for information about growing up in books or with trusted adults in their lives.

[Steph · Rating 3 out of 5]

The very first thing I noticed about this book was how gorgeous it was - the corners are curved, the pages are finished beautifully, the cover art is engaging and the book is filled with cute, funny illustrations by Keri Smith (to quote Alice of Wonderland fame, 'What is the use of a book, without pictures or conversations?')

Of course, after that, I opened the book. And it just got better from there. Boyology is a non-fiction book for teenage girls, and has a chatty, conversational tone. I love the fact that the author shares her own experiences, good and bad, as well as snippets in the book from the author's husband (I can hear you. You're going 'Aw, cute'). Quotes from teenagers and celebrities are also sprinkled throughout the novel; and these are both wise and hilarious. Boyology is very funny, and there were some many parts of it that I loved - the playlists and the 'boy breeds' section, among many others. As I read it, I was giggling. A lot.

There were a couple of generalisations I didn't like - like the fact that boys like video games, horror movies and sports, and girls don't. I'm sure this isn't what the author intended at all, but at one point, after reading a certain section, I thought: I like playing video games (like Halo and Half-Life - not the girly video games, but the first person shooters), I enjoy watching football, and I love horror movies. Dear God, no wonder my grandmother always calls me Stephen - I must have had my gender reassigned as a baby and I'm really a boy! (After a brief conversation with my parents, and looking through my baby photo album, I discovered my fears were unfounded, and was indeed, really a girl. This was a relief.)

Boyology covers a lot of information, and all the necessary bits, including the more unpleasant things, all with a great deal of tact, without once seeming condescending or judgemental. I think this would make a lovely gift for daughters and nieces in their early teens; my younger sister had a flick through it, and there isn't really anything that would make it inappropriate for pre-teen girls, either (the kissing cartoons made her giggle, as well).

Overall, a funny, informative book, which is really accesible, easy-to-read and engaging! You'd be wise to check it out.

[Lauren · Rating 3 out of 5]

As you can probably tell by the cover, title and summary, Boyology is a go-to manual for all things boy related. Since from flirting techniques to breaking up to first dates, Boyology covers just about all of it for girls out there dying to know just a little bit more about boys, those unusual but beautiful and addicting creatures out there.

Boyology is told in a very fun way because not only does it include chapters about different things guy related by Sarah but pictures, Celeb Shout-Out/Guys Tell It Like It Is/Grant On... sections, quizzes, and song play lists, leaving it to be a great guide for all teen/ tween girls out there. I also liked the fact that it talked about boundaries and how to say no in an effective way.

While I do feel a bit more could have been talked about in Boyology, it still was a decent, fun, and quick read for girls out there looking to find out the difference between 'boy friend' and 'boyfriend and to hook your own hottie.

Grade: C+

[Kris · Rating 5 out of 5]

Recommended for middle school and high school. The book is written in a very upbeat, teen-friendly style. Sidebars, font changes, colored pages and line drawings abound. Topics from how to tell whether a boy likes you to how to break up and move on are covered. Advice from real teens and celebrities are scattered throughout. There is nothing graphic, but a straightforward chapter on "setting your boundaries" should give girls the confidence to be able to say "no" when things are moving too quickly and also includes what to do if sexually assaulted. A great read for teen girls.

[Alexis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Boyology is aptly subtitled A Teen Girl's Crash Course in All Things Boy. This book is a collection of advice, what to wear, what not to wear, how to start a conversation, how to become an "awesome" kisser. But serious issues are addressed as well: how to protect yourself, how to say no, what to do if you are assaulted. The book is fun and informative, the packaging is engaging, and I can see groups of girls reading this and ROTFL. Especially recommended for middle school.

[Elizabeth Grey · Rating 4 out of 5]

A textbook to help teen girls learn about the minds of boys with a step-by-step flirting guide, an 'Are you a good date?' quiz, and a chart to help you figure out if that guy you like is a 'boyfriend' or just a 'boy friend.'

[Venessaa ♡☮♫ · Rating 4 out of 5]

OK.:)) I found this book really funny and entertaining.
So what is it really with guys? Why the bloody hell are they so confusing?? Well, hello Boyology x))
But unfortunately, I haven't read the whole book cuz it was only a sample. Well, maybesomedaaaay:))

[Michael · Rating 1 out of 5]

What a horrible book to give to high school girls. It reads more like a how to find a man and keep him rather than learning anything about boys and their ways. The section titled Advanced Kissing made laugh.

[Tori · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was a really hilarious book. I found it rather entertaining how the author was trying to be really cool in her writing. It did have some pretty good pointers, though, although not very many!

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ahahaha! Not super useful, but funny to read, and just see what the author has to say.

[Nabila Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cute layout and illustrations! The author gives advices about dating and boys in such fun ways. Really enjoyed reading it.

[Andrea · Rating 5 out of 5]

My cousin's daughter wrote this book and it's appropriate for teens in high school, in my opinion.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very good guide to all things boy! Very useful tips to minimise anxiety and get a feel of what to expect in boyfriend-girlfriend relationships! A definite must.

[Edward Sullivan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reviewed for Kirkus.