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Parent Like It Matters: How to Raise Joyful, Change-Making Girls
An accessible blueprint to embolden our daughters to be critical thinkers, fearless doers, and joyful change agents for our future--from the proud mother of teen activist Marley Dias, founder of #1000BlackGirlBooks.
Can we teach our daughters to change the world? Renowned sociologist Janice Johnson Dias is here to show us how. She knows that self-realized girls are created through purposeful parenting. In this book, she asks parents to make conscious choices--from babyhood through adolescence--that will give our girls the resources to take hold of their futures and reach down the ladder to pull up the girls below them so that change becomes a chain reaction.
What is our biggest task as parents? To find our joy. Because as parents, we need to live it to inspire it. Just as Dias brings her own jubilant passion to parenting and teaching, she shows us the vital work we must do on ourselves to lay down the burdens of our past to make space for joy and inspire it in our children. Through anecdotes and personal recollections, she shows us how to turn our challenges into adventures, our failures into lessons. She also offers advice based on both cutting-edge research and her own experience, such as: compliment her every day, let her teach you something every week, create daily affirmations, and help her identify heroes and mentors.
Dr. Dias understands how easy it is to feel overwhelmed by the enormous work of parenting, but she gives us invaluable tools to raise resilient, optimistic girls who determine for themselves what their world will look like.
Can we teach our daughters to change the world? Renowned sociologist Janice Johnson Dias is here to show us how. She knows that self-realized girls are created through purposeful parenting. In this book, she asks parents to make conscious choices--from babyhood through adolescence--that will give our girls the resources to take hold of their futures and reach down the ladder to pull up the girls below them so that change becomes a chain reaction.
What is our biggest task as parents? To find our joy. Because as parents, we need to live it to inspire it. Just as Dias brings her own jubilant passion to parenting and teaching, she shows us the vital work we must do on ourselves to lay down the burdens of our past to make space for joy and inspire it in our children. Through anecdotes and personal recollections, she shows us how to turn our challenges into adventures, our failures into lessons. She also offers advice based on both cutting-edge research and her own experience, such as: compliment her every day, let her teach you something every week, create daily affirmations, and help her identify heroes and mentors.
Dr. Dias understands how easy it is to feel overwhelmed by the enormous work of parenting, but she gives us invaluable tools to raise resilient, optimistic girls who determine for themselves what their world will look like.
256 pages, Hardcover
Published March 2, 2021
68 people are currently reading
3817 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews
May 1, 2021
All parents/caregivers (and teachers!) should read this book; not just parents of girls. It is incredibly intentional and full of great ideas. I particularly loved the chapter called “Freely Offer Your Critique.” I took a TON away from her ideas regarding meaningful friendships, sociological imagination, and igniting action.
My only beefs were that Dias’s reflections seemed.... hollow and a bit extrinsically focused. Additionally, I would have liked more acknowledgement about what a privileged position she and (most likely) the parents who read this book are in. It’s pretty easy to cultivate your child’s passions, for example, when you are middle or upper class. And, while I agree that “we need to teach our daughters to be more than bystanders in the world,” I was surprised that she did not acknowledge the potential consequences from doing so. But, overall, really important and influential book!
My only beefs were that Dias’s reflections seemed.... hollow and a bit extrinsically focused. Additionally, I would have liked more acknowledgement about what a privileged position she and (most likely) the parents who read this book are in. It’s pretty easy to cultivate your child’s passions, for example, when you are middle or upper class. And, while I agree that “we need to teach our daughters to be more than bystanders in the world,” I was surprised that she did not acknowledge the potential consequences from doing so. But, overall, really important and influential book!
March 9, 2021
THIS IS THE ONE!!
Here is a timely, necessary and empowering book featuring ssolid, practical advice for caregivers on how to lovingly guide, support and nurture their girls in a world where racism, classism and gender bias are so pervasive.
I have read many parenting books, most of which offer some sort of “ten step plan” for success, many that include instructions and/or directives for children of varying ages. Parent Like It Matters leads us back to ourselves and toward a reckoning with our own parentage. Too often, parents’ desire is to shape children into something other than our own image (something better). But we should know by now that children will more likely become who we are, and not who we tell them to be. Both comforting and challenging, this book reminds us that to raise a girl who is knowledgeable, assertive, joyful and kind, we must first be all of these things ourselves.
Honest, humorous, raw and real, Dr. Johnson Dias’ book will inspire either a consoling self-forgiveness or a maddening fire under your ass. Either way, this is the book you need to read!
Here is a timely, necessary and empowering book featuring ssolid, practical advice for caregivers on how to lovingly guide, support and nurture their girls in a world where racism, classism and gender bias are so pervasive.
I have read many parenting books, most of which offer some sort of “ten step plan” for success, many that include instructions and/or directives for children of varying ages. Parent Like It Matters leads us back to ourselves and toward a reckoning with our own parentage. Too often, parents’ desire is to shape children into something other than our own image (something better). But we should know by now that children will more likely become who we are, and not who we tell them to be. Both comforting and challenging, this book reminds us that to raise a girl who is knowledgeable, assertive, joyful and kind, we must first be all of these things ourselves.
Honest, humorous, raw and real, Dr. Johnson Dias’ book will inspire either a consoling self-forgiveness or a maddening fire under your ass. Either way, this is the book you need to read!
July 5, 2021
This is such a powerful book not just because I have a daughter of my own but because it has truly life-changing principles and philosophies for any parent. Here is one of the closing quotes from the book that encapsulates the core principles.
"We are the solution makers we want to see. We can find answers to some of the most intractable problems in the world, and the way forward lies within our parenting practice. We can create a new world through the way we parent, specifically through the way we invest in our girls. By arming our girls with knowledge of self and the World, by teaching them reason and demonstrating for them that passions and talents can be used to address social issues, and by ensuring that they see Value Inn connections, we are laying the foundation for a better world.
Though Our Lives will be over one day, by raising joyful, change making girls, we are making a choice to leave the world better than we found it. While no single action we take will determine to our girls become, our actions in totality will shape how they see the world and whether they, too, are willing to help create a better world. If we want social change and greater equity, we must begin with the children in our lives."
This review will be updated in the next few days...
"We are the solution makers we want to see. We can find answers to some of the most intractable problems in the world, and the way forward lies within our parenting practice. We can create a new world through the way we parent, specifically through the way we invest in our girls. By arming our girls with knowledge of self and the World, by teaching them reason and demonstrating for them that passions and talents can be used to address social issues, and by ensuring that they see Value Inn connections, we are laying the foundation for a better world.
Though Our Lives will be over one day, by raising joyful, change making girls, we are making a choice to leave the world better than we found it. While no single action we take will determine to our girls become, our actions in totality will shape how they see the world and whether they, too, are willing to help create a better world. If we want social change and greater equity, we must begin with the children in our lives."
This review will be updated in the next few days...
May 12, 2021
There was definitely some valuable information in this book but it was intertwined among a lot of political/racial opinions. I didnt realize when I bought this book that it was written specifically for people of color. While I can appreciate the discussion, I felt almost excluded at some points like the ideas weren't supposed to pertain to me. I highlighted the parts I liked, and there were many. But that overarching theme kept creeping in making me just want to be done with the book.
February 4, 2022
It was just ok. I didn’t feel like I learned anything or got any new insights. It was good for a reminder on good parenting habits but nothing you haven’t heard before.
July 10, 2024
Required reading for parenting the next generation of feminists; a multidisciplinary framework for raising socially conscious and well-rounded children
April 16, 2021
My daughter is too young for much of this to apply now, but after borrowing it from the library I decided to buy my own copy to have on hand for when her "assignments" will be more age appropriate. A great guide to reflect on myself as a parent and a hopeful meditation on the kind of daughter I hope to raise.
March 13, 2021
I received an advance copy from Random House of this book. I read it in 3 days and loved it even more than I expected to. First of all, it's less than 200 pages (as all nonfiction books should be) and it's really accessible and practical. I read large portions of it out loud to my husband and he found the specific advice really helpful as well. We are going to keep this on our shelves and reread it often as our daughter grows up. I really can't recommend it more- it covers interactions with girls' friends, talking with your daughter about racism and sexism, incorporating your family's culture and heritage into your child's life, how to really listen to your kids, and encouraging curiosity, among many other topics.
March 21, 2021
Everyone raising girls should read this books. It showed me a whole new perspective on how to talk to them and how to raise little people.
February 17, 2024
This book is good, but it could be great. There were basic concepts such as self esteem development, providing structure, opportunities to serve, and a safe space for “your girl.”
I don’t have children yet, but I bought this book to prepare. I figured there’s no time like the present, and I have a lot of generational curses to undo within my family. I feel as though the author utilized her daughter (Marley Dias) as the standard and example to showcase the success of her non-profit and tips, however everyone is unique and equity in reference to resources (especially in this economy) varies. To that point, the tips required little to no money, but time is essential for implementation.
The author expresses that within her nonprofit she stresses the importance of the parents devoting time and committing to her program. The book seems like it would work great for parents that have children within her non-profit, but for those that are not, cherry-picking information is necessary. I also believe that a few of the tips straddle the line of an engaged parent and a helicopter parent.
I thoroughly enjoyed the chapter about assisting your girl when she is the only one. I never once considered the idea of inviting other girls to attempt to diversify an environment. It’s almost like a strategic integration strategy.
I would have loved to hear about how to have the “sex talk” with your girl. Methods to foster bodily autonomy or to learn more about ways to assist your girl in dating with age appropriate activities. The text centered around assisting our girls and fostering safe environments and practices that assist in their growth and development, yet what happens when they leave the safety nest and curated environment we’ve created and enter the real world?
I don’t have children yet, but I bought this book to prepare. I figured there’s no time like the present, and I have a lot of generational curses to undo within my family. I feel as though the author utilized her daughter (Marley Dias) as the standard and example to showcase the success of her non-profit and tips, however everyone is unique and equity in reference to resources (especially in this economy) varies. To that point, the tips required little to no money, but time is essential for implementation.
The author expresses that within her nonprofit she stresses the importance of the parents devoting time and committing to her program. The book seems like it would work great for parents that have children within her non-profit, but for those that are not, cherry-picking information is necessary. I also believe that a few of the tips straddle the line of an engaged parent and a helicopter parent.
I thoroughly enjoyed the chapter about assisting your girl when she is the only one. I never once considered the idea of inviting other girls to attempt to diversify an environment. It’s almost like a strategic integration strategy.
I would have loved to hear about how to have the “sex talk” with your girl. Methods to foster bodily autonomy or to learn more about ways to assist your girl in dating with age appropriate activities. The text centered around assisting our girls and fostering safe environments and practices that assist in their growth and development, yet what happens when they leave the safety nest and curated environment we’ve created and enter the real world?
Read
March 17, 2022Great book for all parents to understand children & their needs and how to improve upon them by teaching them the importance of volunteering, social networking, having their needs met, asking for help, getting the help they need to grow into well rounded, caring, compassionate people. Janice bases her Camp on truth from ancient Egyptian texts & Hindi also. Honesty with yourself & others, Reciprocity in discovering your connectedness to the group & the world. Girls, especially those that are the first in their families to go to school & the feeling of being an imposter as though you do not deserve to be there is discussed. Her camp helps girls respond to micro aggression in a positive way teaching them boundaries, confidence & always seeing the positive side of every comment knowing that those who are negative may not have all the information they need to see the world. Her teachings on compassion build such confidence in her girls that they do become change makers by influencing others in truth, reciprocity & wisdom.
April 9, 2021
"This emphasis on the whole-self development sometimes leads parents to decide that this camp and program are not a good fit for their girls. This is my favorite group of parents because those parents usually leave cordially. Whether it is the schedule, their girls' new interest, or their own self-realization, these parents usually amicably communicate that, though they like some or all components of the work, they wish for something else. I am delighted by this because, like this book, the work we do has a very specific focus, and I expect that not everyone will enjoy or want to do the required work. It is always better when caregivers identify this mismatch before I do."
I really appreciate this quote from the introduction, as it straight-up acknowledges that not everyone is going to fit with this book. And that's fine. If only every book's introduction were as honest!
I really appreciate this quote from the introduction, as it straight-up acknowledges that not everyone is going to fit with this book. And that's fine. If only every book's introduction were as honest!
January 13, 2022
I found this book so helpful as the parent of a pre-teen girl. I wish I had read this a few years ago, but I still found so many impactful lessons and ideas from this book, and I've already seen the benefits from putting the concepts presented in this book into action.
The principal of prioritizing joy in our lives in order to empower ourselves and our girls to be change-makers was the most impactful. It made me realize how much I've been remiss in prioritizing joy in my own life, which in turn doesn't give our daughter an example of that in her own life. There are many other principals and ideas in the book that connected with me that I've already started to put into practice.
I'd recommend this to any parents of a girl to help navigate the challenges inherent to helping your daughter thrive as the best version of themselves.
The principal of prioritizing joy in our lives in order to empower ourselves and our girls to be change-makers was the most impactful. It made me realize how much I've been remiss in prioritizing joy in my own life, which in turn doesn't give our daughter an example of that in her own life. There are many other principals and ideas in the book that connected with me that I've already started to put into practice.
I'd recommend this to any parents of a girl to help navigate the challenges inherent to helping your daughter thrive as the best version of themselves.
July 9, 2023
Excellent read for this new mom of 22 month year old girl. Dr. Johnson Dias has packed this book with great reminders and advice to ensure we are parenting with purpose and intention. I am grateful to have read this at the beginning of my journey. To not only be mindful of how Im exposing and engaging with my child but also what I am modeling as a woman for her to know and possibly grow into. Dr. Johnson Dias thank you for giving your time and attention to this, it should be a must read for all mothers rearing girls. We need a version for the boys as well, but lots can be taken from here and applied.
July 30, 2021
As I read this book by sociologist/change-agent Janice Johnson Dias, I was pleased to recognize so many of the behaviors and parenting strategies I see my own daughter modeling with her two little girls. My goal in reading it was to help myself to be the kind of grandmother who encourages children -- both boys and girls -- in positive ways, and to avoid some of the mistakes I know I made in raising my own two children. I found Dias' book to be a little repetitive, but generally a good reminder of positive and supportive [grand]parenting approaches, and certainly a worthwhile read.
May 12, 2021
As a parent of two girls I found there was a lot of good information in here to make sure my girls know how to be happy and well adjusted change makers! I loved at the end of every chapter there were assignments to work on! As a family we will be following lots of these and expanding our horizons! She raises many good points about asking questions and letting your girls be heard! I really enjoyed this one! Thanks for the giveaway!
June 10, 2023
Great book well done the vibe of your PHD is notice had about 7 nice vocabulary words. Down play a little the feel was nice like at the beginning of the book. As its about really learning yourself upon your journey into adulthood been then reflecting back the way you was raise and applying to the kids as now you seat in the parent seat. Added maybe a little bit more doctor notation with clinical data to support your claim the theory but other than that nice quotes to start the chapter.
November 1, 2024
I don’t think the call to action in this book aligns with my priorities as a parent, or perhaps the author was writing this book on a very specific family dynamic. Many of the items she proposed felt like helicopter parenting to me, so having a hard time envisioning much of the book being implemented. However I am entirely impressed by the initiative of the author and how it has impacted her daughter and other girls so far, and appreciate the perspective she shares on parenting!
March 8, 2021
I enjoyed this read.
I loved the Author's take/perspective and ideas she has for us to interact/how to talk with our daughters.
I'm looking forward to doing several things she laid out for us/interaction with my own daughter.
5 wonderful stars.
*Recv'd a copy via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review*
I loved the Author's take/perspective and ideas she has for us to interact/how to talk with our daughters.
I'm looking forward to doing several things she laid out for us/interaction with my own daughter.
5 wonderful stars.
*Recv'd a copy via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review*
August 27, 2022
This was a good one. I felt validated in many parenting choices we’ve made so far, and really enjoyed the ideas for continuing down the road raising joyful, socially conscious, emotionally aware, and empowered girls. Will definitely be implementing a lot of the activities shared at the end of each chapter.
June 6, 2021
Parent Like It Matters by Janice Johnson Dias is a wondrous resource for parents of girls. Johnson Dias uses her background in sociology, her journey as a parent, and her work with “SuperCamp” to guide you through the trials and joys of parenting. I’ve gained so much throughout this novel to help parent not only my daughter but my sons as well. There are so many gems I found I’d love to share them all, but will make do with a favorite: In chapter 7, it is highlighted that girls need to know they are capable and to know their heritage if they are to be a changing force, “to change the rules, girls will need a strong sense of their own competency.”
May 28, 2021
Inspiring and helpful for anyone parenting
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September 28, 2021Maybe it's because I read so many of these, but I didn't take any particular insight from this one. But well-structured and a good blend of personal anecdotes with philosophical grounding.
January 17, 2022
Loved this book. Inspiring and at times uncomfortable in it’s honestly. So good.
February 24, 2022
It was a good read.
April 27, 2022
Basically a how to on raising children.
May 22, 2022
Good principles and actionable items for raising girls.
October 27, 2022
Great book not just applying to girls but ways to improve our boys that need to be joyful too.
December 27, 2022
Definitely lots of great insights but I feel like this book could be shorter if there were less show of the author’s prolonged experience and (a tad) of self-importance.
February 8, 2024
Like It Matters- Lee Strobel
Stand in for the book I edited
Stand in for the book I edited
Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews