Heather Demetrios's Little Universes is a book about the powerful bond between sisters, the kinds of love that never die, and the journey we all must make through the baffling cruelty and unexpected beauty of human life in an incomprehensible universe.
One that’s all it takes for the rest of Mae and Hannah Winters’ lives to change.
When a tsunami strikes the island where their parents are vacationing, it soon becomes clear that their mom and dad are never coming home. Forced to move to Boston from sunny California for the rest of their senior year, each girl struggles with secrets their parents’ death has brought to light, and with their uncertainty about the future. Instead of bringing them closer, it feels like the wave has torn the sisters apart.
Hannah is a secret poet who wants to be seen, but only knows how to hide. The pain pills she stole from her dead father hurl her onto the shores of an addiction she can’t shake and a dealer who turns her heart upside down. When it’s clear Hannah’s drowning, Mae, a budding astronaut suddenly launched into an existential crisis―and unexpected love―must choose between herself and the only family she has left.
Heather Demetrios is a critically acclaimed author, writing coach, and certified meditation teacher. She has an MFA in Writing from Vermont College of Fine Arts and is a recipient of the PEN America Susan P. Bloom Discovery Award for her debut novel, Something Real. Her novels include Little Universes, I’ll Meet You There, Bad Romance, as well as the Dark Caravan fantasy series: Exquisite Captive, Blood Passage, and Freedom’s Slave. Her non-fiction includes the Junior Library Guild Gold Standard Selection Code Name Badass: The True Story of Virginia Hall, and she is the editor of Dear Heartbreak: YA Authors and Teens on the Dark Side of Love. Her honors include books that have been named Bank Street Best Children’s Books, YALSA Best Fiction For Young Adults selections, a Goodreads Choice Nominee, a Kirkus Best Book, and a Barnes and Noble Best Book. Her work has appeared in LA Review of Books, Bustle, School Library Journal, and other fine outlets.
In addition to her writing, Heather is passionate about bringing words and mindfulness to women in the refugee community as well as "helping the helpers" on the ground through mindfulness and therapeutic writing. She works in communications and mindfulness outreach for Becky’s Bathhouse, a wellness center and safe space serving refugee women in Lesvos, Greece. Find out more about how you can support their work here.
Find out more about Heather and her books at heatherdemetrios.com.
I don’t think I ever expected this book to surprise me, but it did. The entire experience was incredibly moving, and made me really think a lot about my own life and belief and relationships, and I really found it to be well-written too.
DNF @ page 95: I really, really tried to read this book but if I'm being honest- it is just way too fucking sad for me. If you're interested in reading this one, I would advise you to tread with caution and search out a full list of triggers (as mine only covers the first 100 pgs).
TW: tsunamis, death of a parent, addiction, abortion, breaking sobriety, underage drinking/drug use (on page), depression, child neglect, adultery
I would recommend looking at the content warnings before reading this. A sense of hopelessness bleeds through nearly every page for the majority of the book. To be honest, I think it could have done with an edit to reduce the length as there were a few times I wanted to stop reading because it was such a depressing cycle of self destruction. It is for this reason that I didn't enjoy the book, but I appreciated it for the powerful exploration of grief that it was.
-POETRY -Random analogies about the universe and human emotions. -random science/physics facts I won't bother looking up elsewhere. -Mae and Nah's love for each other; the bond. -Playlists -Mae and Nah trying to make sense of the universe on their own ways. -Boys crying because they feel like. -Drew's love for Hannah. Heather, please write more for this lovely, broken boy. He deserves to be happy :(((. -Ocean -Ben for being Ben. -Coffee -Brownies -Everything else in it.
Some of the quotes that have my heart:
“The universe is so big and terrifying, and we are so small and weak. What is the point of getting out of bed in the morning when you are so utterly insignificant?"
"What if this darkness is not the darkness of the tomb, but the darkness of the womb?’”
" I won’t even bother making promises about what I’ll do if the universe ignores me."
" Get a cardboard box Open it Stare at it until your heart stops."
" I am not lost. I am utterly, utterly found."
" There’s a crack in everything … that’s how the light gets in."
This book held NOTHING back. It attacked and attacked and attacked. I was ugly crying for about half of it. But I regret nothing, because it was SO. DAMN. BEAUTIFUL. I absolutely loved the juxtaposition of Mae and Hannah - the author did an amazing job and I won't be forgetting this book anytime soon. It's a definite must-read if you're a fan of YA and don't mind a snot-dripping-head-pounding-soul-aching cry fest.
I was sent this book for review by the publisher. All opinions are my own.
TW: Opioid Addiction, Overdose, Abortion, Cheating, Depression, Suicide Attempt, Loss of parents, death, grief Rep: adopted mc, POC side character --- Sisters, Mae and Hannah unexpectedly lose their parents to a tsunami in Malaysia and are pulled from their sunny life in California, forced to move to Boston to live with their mother's sister, Nora, Uncle Tony and their cousin, Nate who is studying at MIT. Hannah is battling opioid addiction and depression. Mae is trying to find where she belongs in the Winters family, she was adopted into around age three & she dreams to become an astronaut. Space isn’t normally an element I like to read about but the way the author carefully explained and connected space to the characters and the story had me engaged as I read about Mae using the scientific method and conducting hypothesis’ in her daily life. I was laughing at the puns and immersed in the work Mae’s father did with dark matter.
I appreciated the multimedia aspects of this book like, Mr. Winters interview on dark matter. Even though their parents weren’t present as characters, I got to know them through the multimedia elements and inclusion of flashbacks. Heather Demetrios included so many elements of space and the universe which impressed me until the last page. I loved how their mother had a “soup habit “and was a yoga instructor; how their traditions never paused because the girls were grieving. Sometimes memories help the grieving process speed up. Hannah and Mae’s grieved slow and it felt very realistic.
This book is definitely a tear-jerker. I warn you in advance to have tissues present while you’re reading because I regret not having them at my side as I sobbed through the loss and gripping scenes between Mae and Hannah. But what I really enjoyed was that we saw grief from every character from Aunt Nora losing her sister to losing a daughter to cancer at a young age and to Hannah battling her demons and losing her own daughter. Hannah was a brilliantly written character. Complex and hopeless but she had so much beauty inside of her. This novel is written in dual POV, we see how Mae and Hannah react differently and we read all of their thoughts external and internal. You learn about how their communication has subsided and how they come together by the end. There is romance involved and mostly they’re very healthy, but the author did a great job of writing the complexities of a teenage relationship through Drew and Ben. They were great characters and so, so genuine. Most of the time, YA shows the bad boy trope but that didn’t last for long with Little Universes. It’s often hard to write a contemporary novel that is past 300 pages, but this novel stuck out. I was on the edge of my seat by the last 60 pages. I couldn’t predict the end, but I absolutely loved how it wrapped up. I wish I could keep reading about Hannah and Mae because I felt like their story wasn’t completely finished. But, I also felt that there was a perfect closure.
It’s hard to review this book and do it any justice. So I will just say, to read it – unless the content is triggering to you. I loved this book so much, I'm going to be raving about it until the end of time. Addiction is a subject I haven’t read about before this book. But Heather wrote this carefully and I could tell she put her heart into this book. The male characters looked toxic masculinity in the eye and I absolutely loved seeing Nate being feminine and the guys wearing nail polish. This is what a 2020 YA novel should have, it felt so progressive and I was thrilled to see this.
One flaw I had was just that I wished I had seen some sort of therapy take place but that’s a very minor concern I have.
This book was full of great quotes and lessons. I cherished Demetrios’ writing a lot. So, I’ll leave you with some of my favorites: “A good astronaut knows that anything – rejection, failure, death – can be a sim. Everything in your life is preparation for the mission” “There’s nothing rational about grief. I’m learning this” “I don’t want to be defined by my adoptedness – it’s just apart of me, not all of me. A fraction. But, for some reason, even the people closest to me have determined that being adopted bothers me. It doesn’t. Them thinking it bothers me is what bothers me”. “The Sad is so big, it’s like, I don’t know, it’s like that movie Mae loves where the astronaut can’t get back to the ship and he just floats off into the complete, utter, terrifying darkness of space listening to cowboy music. My sister studies the void – but I look into it Every. Single. Day.” “I feel like that wave brought you to me. It washed you up on my shore” “If a label society wants to give you is helpful to you, make you feel connected to the world – gender, race, religion, nationality, whatever- cool. Use it. / But, if it’s not, it f the label makes you smaller inside. Fuck it.”
This was my first book by Heather Demetrios and it was really good. There are some serious topics they talked about and those are: Death of a parent, drugs/acholol abuse, strong use of cussing if u don't like that....
This book...if you have siblings, you’ll want to read this one especially! Well-developed characters, fascinating plot line, girls in STEM. This book is perfection! Definitely a must-read YA book
This was such an amazing read but be aware: it was one of the heaviest books I have encountered.
This story focuses on two sisters, their identities and their relationship with one another. I feared for a second that it would end up being about the boys they got involved with but that ended up just being a part of their lives, and not even one of the biggest.
When this book starts it almost feels like it is being written in two completely different languages, depending on whose point of view. Hannah’s chapters read like poetry, which makes absolute sense: she is all about emotion and the “something else”. Her poems feature at the end of each chapter, giving the reader a window to what she is feeling at every stage. Mae’s, on the other hand, reminds me of reading a scientific paper - she doesn’t only like science, she lives it and applies it to every moment of her life, thinking it the only way to understand the world around her, including humans.
As the book progressed, one of the most amazing things was seeing how each sister started to think in the other's ”language”. As their relationship mended itself and they were able to have a more balanced perspective, each other influence on the other became obvious.
Both Hannah and Mae were extremely interesting (and so are the other characters such as Drew, Ben and Nate but this isn’t about them) and I loved to see how they evolved and grew but mostly I liked that the author made sure to have them fail a lot in their journey. I liked to see them misunderstand one another, doing things that they regretted, talking without thinking and then having to apologize. They acted like humans, not two-dimensional characters.
This is not an easy or quick book to read. The way that drug addiction was depicted in particular was absolutely heartbreaking, raw and real. It was also my favorite part.
Something else I think I should also notice is how science-heavy this book is and if at times that may be a bit daunting, for people that don’t breath and eat equations and physics like half the characters in this book, that was nothing compared to the awesomeness that was having a character like Mae being so passioned about it (Yeah for girls in science!). While I was reading it I thought that maybe the author, like Mae, had an interest in the subject so I was really surprised when I reached the acknowledgments and learned that she had to research the themes for this book herself, which made me like her so much more because...damn! You’ll see what I’m talking about when you read this.
Little Universes will rip your heart out of your chest and make you like it.
Thank you to Henry Holt and Co and Edelweiss+ for this DRC.
I received this book for free in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.In 2014 I won a giveaway for a book by Heather Demetrios called I'll Meet You There. I was familiar with her work because I had already read her debut, Something Real, and had fallen on love but I'll Meet You There was something else entirely for me. I loved that book with every fiber of my being and I have read it 7 times since, sometimes twice a year. I consider it a perfect book and is one of the few I crave a reread of. Honestly I wasn't sure Heather could reach that level for me again and then I read Little Universes. And man did she blow me away with this story.
Little Universes is a very emotional read. I cried for probably about 70% of the 480 page book. It's the story of California native sisters, Hannah and Mae Winters, who's lives change when a tsunami hits the island their parents are vacationing on. Soon it is clear they won't be coming back and the sisters are forced to move across the country, to Boston, to live with their aunt and uncle. Not only do the girls have to grieve the loss of their parents and the life they knew while navigating a new place. But they also have to manage the secret they have been holding on to...Hannah has an addiction to pain pills. Between that and a secret about their parents they didn't know these two sisters are on an emotional journey one that you won't soon forget.
Hannah and Mae broke me. Each girl was dealing with so much together and on their own and they broke me. I was in tears over the loss of their parents. I was in tears over the loss of their relationship. I was in tears over Hannah's self-worth. I was in tears over Mae being unable to fix everything like a math equation. These two sisters had stories that needed to be told even if they crushed me. But I loved every minute of it.
Little Universes has a lot of trigger warnings; abortion, addiction, death, sex, drug use and cheating. But it is a lot more than those things. It is a book that is about grief and sisters and love and self esteem. It is about learning you are enough even when you don't feel like you are. It is about learning not everything can be solved like an equation, not everything is fixable. It is a story that will stick with you whether you have a sister or not. I may not read it a bunch of times like I'll Meet You There (my heart can't handle it) but I will recommend it just as much. Make sure you add this one to your TBR.
“I will live on one of those stars. I will laugh on one of them. And when you look up in the sky, it will seem to you that all the stars are laughing. Only you will have the stars that can laugh.” --Heather Demetrios, Little Universes
Little Universes by Heather Demetrios was a bit of a sob-fest for me. There’s an abundance of sadness in this story but also an equal amount of joy. The power of sisterhood is explored in grief, addiction and mental illness but along with this are the wonders that are found in forgiveness, family, and love.
As different as two sisters can be, Mae and Hannah traverse life without their parents after a tragic accident takes them. Hannah, suffering from depression and drug addiction, spirals with the loss while adopted Mae, ever responsible and incredibly smart, tries her best to hold them together.
Each chapter is told in the alternating voice of each girl and is beautifully poetic in the telling. At first at odds with one another, each for different reasons, the mending of their relationship is poignant, raw, and realistic. This is a beautiful story about emotionally wrought girls who find the strength within themselves and each other to overcome tragedy and circumstance.
All the stars for Little Universes, this is a book that I’ll be recommending to everyone. A big thank you to Macmillan Audio for gifting me with an ALC of Little Universes.
This wrecked me. I stayed up until 2:30am to finish then woke up with a puffy face and a crying hangover. Not only was this a gripping story and incredibly heartbreaking, this was beautifully written. One sister is pushing everyone away, while the other is trying to hold on as tight as she can.
There was such a distinct difference in tone and style between Mae and Hannah that made easy to switch between the two perspectives, Mae looks at every situation as a math or scientific problem to solve. Everything will be okay if only she can fix the problem. When she has trouble crying after the death of her parents, she begins to question why, and if she even deserves to cry because she's technically not their daughter. Mae goes through a lot of questioning when it comes to her identity within this supportive and loving family. Now that they're gone, does she still belong?
While Mae seems to compartmentalize her feelings, Hannah, on the contrary, feels every emotion, at all times—even when that's just being numb to her pain It's why she is drawn to opiates. They are offering her a high that she isn't getting in her life, despite having a loving family, a wonderful guy, and headstrong sister. But that's how depression works, even when you think "There's nothing to be sad about, I have this great life," you can still feel empty.
I don't know what more I can say except: READ THIS BOOK! FEEL ALL THE FEELS!
ARC was provided by the publisher via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
***TRIGGER WARNING*** death of parents, major drug use, adoption, abortion, suicide
Well, I just got done reading this and sitting in a long-cold bubble bath sobbing my face off. Because it is that good. I highlighted giant chunks of the thing because both the writing and the messages were just so damned beautiful.
Sisters Mae and Hannah have just lost their parents in a horrific tsunami, and have absolutely no idea how to move forward. Because who would, honestly? Mae is incredibly science and logic focused, which makes her grieving even more difficult, as there is no logic in grief. Hannah had been struggling with drug use since before their deaths, and obviously the loss of her parents shattered her even further, and sent her spiraling even more.
As they move across the country to live with their (incredibly loving) aunt, uncle, and cousin, they have to figure out how to rebuild. And there is a lot going on in both girls' lives beyond just the loss of their parents. Mae needs to decide if she can and should leave her sister to follow her lifelong dream of being an astronaut, or if she needs to change her trajectory. She finds a great friend in her cousin Nate, and Nate's friend Ben who is kind of the best and also kind of more than a friend. Hannah is recovering from an abortion that she isn't sure she wanted to have, in addition to the addiction. She's pulled from her long-time boyfriend Micah, and feels more alone than ever. She also finds out a secret about their parents that is eating away at her as she tries to spare her sister the pain.
There are so many tremendous side characters in this book, not all of whom I can even mention for fear of spoilers. I loved that the girls had so many supports (and they both acknowledge that they are quite lucky, too) especially in their family who were willing to step up to help them through this. They not only need to learn to navigate these new relationships (or rather, closer relationships) with extended family, but their new normals with each other.
And look, this book is heavy. It isn't a quick or easy read. But it just so lovely, so full of heart, and at the end of the day, so hopeful, that it is completely worth the journey.
Bottom Line:
It's a story about the triumph and resilience of the human spirit against all odds. It's love overcoming death, and there's nothing greater than that.
**Trigger warning for death, grief, abortion, assault, attempted suicide, drug addiction/overdose
if i had to summarize this book in one word, it would be heavy. little universes is heavy with loss, hurt, and heartache. but also with love. finding it, losing it, figuring out what it means for you and everything in between. the romances were very nice, but in a way that also made me a teeeeny bit sad.
i also like the progression this book offers. from the beginning, hannah and mae are gems, but by the end theyre something more whole. the way they think changes gradually and they learn to open up, admit they’re wrong, put themselves first and so much more. it was interesting to see how they responded to different situations. the little prince is brought up many times and we get to see how the sisters interpret certain aspects of the tale and how their interpretations change as the story goes on. the meaning of the story is constantly changing and it’s just so nice that one media can mean so many different things. that’s all to say that i like the way demetrios uses repetition. the same lines and concepts are repeated but they mean something different every time. IM RAMBLING
but the way this book was written, oh let me talk about this. the amount of poetic metaphors and references drove me up the wall (in a good way). translating all this scientific jargon into something so pretty. it sort of reminded me of the picture of dorian gray with how many ideas were introduced. while i found dorian gray’s chaos irritating, i actually quite like how vast it made this book feel. space is endlessly expanding and that’s just about as many connections you can make between life, love, purpose and dark matter, event horizons, yuri gagarin, and heisenberg
trigger warnings: opiate use and addiction, suicidal thoughts and attempts, mention of a possible nonconsensual sexual encounter, parental death, depression and mentions of cancer and abortion
it’s noon and i woke up at eight and have been reading since then because i knew i wouldn’t be able to focus on studying for my exam (tomorrow 😭) if i didn’t finish it. i also talked trash about people listening to book playlists but here i am listening to demetrios’s playlist…
This book made me cry. Super emotional and it was just filled with information about the characters that I loved, just made them more relatable as people. I have no been wrecked by a book in a long time but this book definitely was one of them.
Only thing I did find a bit strange was just how quickly both Drew and Ben fell for Nah and Mae, like where was the build up for that?
Other than that this book will definitely stay in the back of my mind for a very very long time.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
I don’t know how to rate this!! So three stars. This was HEAVY and you should 100% go read the description and then come and say, “You didn’t see that coming???” But I guess I wasn’t prepared for the WEIGHT of it. (This might be a compliment as well. It SHOULD be heavy.)
Anyway, it was a good book, I think, but it was a lot.
“Sometimes you find your way back home. You need to surrender the person you no longer are so that you can step into the person you’re supposed to become” - Little Universes
This book was so beautiful. It tackles grief, addiction, family dynamics, love, and friendship. Two sisters who feel so opposite from one another have no idea just how similar they are. You will feel so much while reading this so don’t be surprised if you cry...more than once.
The writing is gorgeous and you’ll find many many notable quotes throughout the book that will resonate with you on so many levels. For a deep and heavy book it is a page turner.
This book will forever hold a piece of my heart. I hope you will all pick it up!
The author is a genius and this book is beyond gorgeous. I loved both Hannah and Mae, but I related to Hannah more. Seeing the world from Hannah's perspective was like being inside my own brain, and I'm so glad the author gave her a second chance at life because that gave me hope that people like Hannah and me could have second chances at life after all, and that against all odds there really is hope.
A heart-stinging story about grief, addiction, and finding your place in the universe. Demetrios's writing is quite simply stunning in this evocative and poignant novel about two sisters who are forced to cope with the tragic death of both of their parents while also trying to discover what they truly want from life and attempting not to lose each other in the process.
This is the perfect book to buddy read with a sister or friend.
good fucking god. i know that i give a lot of books five stars - i love everything i invest my time into okay? but this book GRIPPED me. maybe it’s because i lost a sister to addiction, but the writing alone was so beautifully done. the characters you never meet you feel like you know, you experience every stage of grief with these characters. you grow attached, fall in love with them, root for them. beautifully done. a must read.
My fault. I should have stopped back at 35% when my Spidey-senses started tingling.
Loved Hannah. She was written beautifully and with vivid realism.
Mae drove me batty and then to absolute frustration. Her character was the primary reason I stopped reading. I was constantly in her head and the author used her to explain the mundane, as well as patronizingly, every STEM-related element.
Mae was also highly judgmental. I knew I had to put the kibosh on this book when I didn't have a lick of empathy for her and then started blurring the lines between Mae's opinions and that of the author.
this book got glowing reviews from many goodreads friends. they called it emotional and heartbreaking and powerful. they aren’t wrong, i guess, those are words you could use to describe it. i think this is a case of different life experiences making us have different reactions to this story and these characters.
my overwhelming feeling about this book is frustration. not because a good concept was executed poorly (it was not, in fact this is objectively quite good), but because the characters were so infuriating. mae would tear down her entire life plan for hannah, who treated her and many of the other characters like shit. realistic? sure. irritating? also sure. i hate the idea of having to throw away literally everything you wanted in life to cater to someone else, ESPECIALLY when that person wouldn’t do the same for you in a million years. every time i read a book where the characters do just that, i lose my mind a little bit.
hannah’s addiction was written so well to show how that was the thing she really cared about, even more than she cared about her surviving family members. i know this is the part a lot of people found the saddest, but for me it was one of the biggest contributors to the above paragraph. people have different experiences with addiction/addicts, and this is at least 98% why we had different reactions to this book. i appreciate how much research the author put into the subject matter and i think she did a good job. doesn’t make me like hannah any more, but it was impressive.
final verdict: these characters are going to bring me to an early grave. 4 stars.
This was so intense and deep but also so beautiful. It’s about death and drug use so it might not be for everyone. I really enjoyed it and cried multiple times