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176 pages, Paperback
First published May 1, 1997
"The boy was hunched over, playing a solo. He meant every predictable note."
“Maybe I’m sort of like one of those jailed child molesters who practically beg not to be given parole. They’d rather lie in a cell jerking off with a copy of Bop magazine than live a celibate life among evil temptations. It’s better for all if I stay locked in here. I.e., friendly and removed on the surface, but secretly lost in impossible thoughts and addicted to putting my weird fantasies into sadly inadequate words.”
I guess you either fetishize fucked up young guys or you don't.
And now that I'm fine, loneliness is far too heavy and painful a state to relive. Still, I'm pretty sure it's the truth. I'm completely alone. Not to raise my solitude over anyone else's. It's just scary sometimes. That's all I can say about that.