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Loving Messy People
Life’s a mess. And nobody escapes it. Your life’s a mess. Your friends and family’s lives are a mess too.
Thankfully God has a plan to deal with the mess. It involves you, and it involves me. Even with all of our messes, God wants to use every one of us in the lives of those around us to be part of his glorious rescue plan in their lives.
But, if you don’t know exactly what to do or even where to start, Loving Messy People is for you. This book is a practical handbook designed to equip you for each of the messy situations in your life and the lives of those around you. Filled with real-life stories, biblical truth, and practical wisdom, Loving Messy People will show you how God wants to use you in his plan to transform the mess in people’s lives into something redemptive and beautiful.
Thankfully God has a plan to deal with the mess. It involves you, and it involves me. Even with all of our messes, God wants to use every one of us in the lives of those around us to be part of his glorious rescue plan in their lives.
But, if you don’t know exactly what to do or even where to start, Loving Messy People is for you. This book is a practical handbook designed to equip you for each of the messy situations in your life and the lives of those around you. Filled with real-life stories, biblical truth, and practical wisdom, Loving Messy People will show you how God wants to use you in his plan to transform the mess in people’s lives into something redemptive and beautiful.
254 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 28, 2020
32 people are currently reading
184 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
April 28, 2021
Very similar themes in Instrument’s of the Redeemer’s Hands (Tripp). Looking for street-talk, concise version?- this is perfect. Enjoyed both and both have been helpful and transformative for me.
August 29, 2021
Full of practical advice
I have just finished reading the book and feel confident it will be among a small number of my most beloved books to read over again. He has put into words the kind of ministry I have been aiming for during the last 25 years and he has experience doing it so he has a lot of insight to share. I think if the church was filled with more members equiped to minister the way he describes we would need less programs and see more lives transformed. He lays out in a very organized fashion how we can go about loving those around us. He talks about the importance of listening long and well and has practical tips in how to do it. Then he talks about the importance of serving and includes a powerful section of the importance of deep prayer for those we minister to, as well the reality that out love needs to be coupled with service such as giving a ride or sharing a meal. He then talks about how we share--through giving hope, affirming, correcting and teaching. Last he covers what he calls gospeling, which is helping to apply the gospel into the lives of others. The kind of biblical love he describes is full and robust. We think of how therapy helps a person by listening and sharing truths--and yet it is usually divorced from relationship, from service and from deep prayer. Modern therapy is like a shadow of the biblical care we are to be giving to one another in the church, and he makes it practical for us to consider how we might go about doing this Biblical"one-anothering". There were a couple of weaknesses in my opinion. First is that he emphasizes how everyone in the church should be doing this plan, but I think he greatly underestimates how much of the book describes a set of gifts that not everyone has. I agree that we need more church members with the vision for what he describes, but there are other gifts and those who don't have a large dose of the kind of nurturing people-skills he describes still have much to do in the body of Christ. Second, he argues that anxiety is sin, a very commonly held belief in Biblical counseling circles that I would contest is unbibical. He asserts that the Bible says"Do not be anxious" is a command just like"do not commit adultery" and one is sinning of one doesn't obey. But I know full well that if a large dog bounds towards my three year old and I say, "don't be afraid, he doesn't bite" that if he is still afraid that isn't disobedience. I don't need to punish him like I would if I said"don't hit your sister". So although I know he is expressing a very common view, I found it distracting in a book that is otherwise so full of compassion and mercy for those who suffer.
I have just finished reading the book and feel confident it will be among a small number of my most beloved books to read over again. He has put into words the kind of ministry I have been aiming for during the last 25 years and he has experience doing it so he has a lot of insight to share. I think if the church was filled with more members equiped to minister the way he describes we would need less programs and see more lives transformed. He lays out in a very organized fashion how we can go about loving those around us. He talks about the importance of listening long and well and has practical tips in how to do it. Then he talks about the importance of serving and includes a powerful section of the importance of deep prayer for those we minister to, as well the reality that out love needs to be coupled with service such as giving a ride or sharing a meal. He then talks about how we share--through giving hope, affirming, correcting and teaching. Last he covers what he calls gospeling, which is helping to apply the gospel into the lives of others. The kind of biblical love he describes is full and robust. We think of how therapy helps a person by listening and sharing truths--and yet it is usually divorced from relationship, from service and from deep prayer. Modern therapy is like a shadow of the biblical care we are to be giving to one another in the church, and he makes it practical for us to consider how we might go about doing this Biblical"one-anothering". There were a couple of weaknesses in my opinion. First is that he emphasizes how everyone in the church should be doing this plan, but I think he greatly underestimates how much of the book describes a set of gifts that not everyone has. I agree that we need more church members with the vision for what he describes, but there are other gifts and those who don't have a large dose of the kind of nurturing people-skills he describes still have much to do in the body of Christ. Second, he argues that anxiety is sin, a very commonly held belief in Biblical counseling circles that I would contest is unbibical. He asserts that the Bible says"Do not be anxious" is a command just like"do not commit adultery" and one is sinning of one doesn't obey. But I know full well that if a large dog bounds towards my three year old and I say, "don't be afraid, he doesn't bite" that if he is still afraid that isn't disobedience. I don't need to punish him like I would if I said"don't hit your sister". So although I know he is expressing a very common view, I found it distracting in a book that is otherwise so full of compassion and mercy for those who suffer.
October 14, 2023
We all have hard to love, exhausting, and messy people in our lives. Scott Mehl states, “If we assume we are responsible for more than we are, caring for others becomes burden that quickly leads to burn out… Scripture doesn’t call us to fix people or magically make their messes disappear. Scripture doesn’t call us to manufacture someone else’s trust and obedience. Scripture doesn’t call us to be anyone’s savior” (p212). However, it does call us to love. Scott Mehl breaks down loving into 4 categories: knowing, serving, speaking, and gospeling. He further breaks down what each category looks like and practical and helpful ways to apply and implement.
When I picked up this book, I wanted practical help for loving messy people in order to prevent burnout. When I’m reality, I’d already hit burnout. But what I got was so much more. I’m not sure it was Scott Mehl’s intention when writing this book; however, I spend more time after reading each chapter, repenting, then I did praying for other people. I needed to be reminded of the grace shown to me from God and from other people who walked through very messy seasons of my own life. I needed to repent of the “ungodly fruit” in my life that poured out from my “not-yet-perfect heart” flowing from my mouth (p168-169). I needed to repent of my selfishness and self worship displayed by my desire to only have relationships that are easy, enjoyable, and an equal give and take (p170). I needed to be reminded of Gospel truth (ch13). I realized the issues, in my case, isn’t so much other people being messy or hard to love. This issue is my heart, my selfishness, my self worship, my lack of compassion, understanding, and patience, my sin.
When I picked up this book, I wanted practical help for loving messy people in order to prevent burnout. When I’m reality, I’d already hit burnout. But what I got was so much more. I’m not sure it was Scott Mehl’s intention when writing this book; however, I spend more time after reading each chapter, repenting, then I did praying for other people. I needed to be reminded of the grace shown to me from God and from other people who walked through very messy seasons of my own life. I needed to repent of the “ungodly fruit” in my life that poured out from my “not-yet-perfect heart” flowing from my mouth (p168-169). I needed to repent of my selfishness and self worship displayed by my desire to only have relationships that are easy, enjoyable, and an equal give and take (p170). I needed to be reminded of Gospel truth (ch13). I realized the issues, in my case, isn’t so much other people being messy or hard to love. This issue is my heart, my selfishness, my self worship, my lack of compassion, understanding, and patience, my sin.
April 4, 2020
“Loving Messy People” by Dr. Scott Mehl is a must read for any believer who desires to help and counsel others from a biblical world view. Most of us spend some time counseling each and every day even if we don’t realize it. From helping our children, siblings, parents, friends and even acquaintances navigate a myriad of messy life situations ands emotions, if we are in relationships we are likely doing some kind of counseling. Dr. Mehl’s book gives insight into how we can speak to all these people from a heart that mirrors Jesus. An easy and applicable read for those who have never consider them self counselors and full of solid biblical truths that should be revisited by the most experienced counselors, I truly believe this book will be beneficial to everyone who reads it.
April 8, 2025
Highly recommend this book if you are walking together with someone who is not just struggling mentally but physically as well. A few things that stood out to me was:
1) Love is unscripted.
2) Understand what the other person is going through first before speaking. And do not make any assumption.
3) Many Christian people fail to see the understanding what suffering truly means.
4) As you are giving advice to people, do it in two different ways-Practical wisdom and theology wisdom.
There are so many more things that I can mentioned but read the book to find out!
1) Love is unscripted.
2) Understand what the other person is going through first before speaking. And do not make any assumption.
3) Many Christian people fail to see the understanding what suffering truly means.
4) As you are giving advice to people, do it in two different ways-Practical wisdom and theology wisdom.
There are so many more things that I can mentioned but read the book to find out!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 30, 2020
A must-read for every believer
This is one of the most helpful and practical books on how believers are to minister to one another that I’ve ever read. Mehl really gets to the heart of gospel-care and explains not only how but why God commands that we “gospel” one another. Looking forward to sharing this book and its content with others in our church as we seek to be a body that love God and others well.
This is one of the most helpful and practical books on how believers are to minister to one another that I’ve ever read. Mehl really gets to the heart of gospel-care and explains not only how but why God commands that we “gospel” one another. Looking forward to sharing this book and its content with others in our church as we seek to be a body that love God and others well.
April 29, 2022
A very practical book about how we as messy people ourselves can effectively love other people who are messy. Mehl gives some very helpful and practical considerations and steps on how we can love others who may not be very easy to love, and how God can grow both parties through it. This is a fantastic read for those in ministry or anyone that has a leadership role, but can be just as good for the everyday lay person that wants to know to how to serve others better.
March 4, 2023
Probably the most “boots to the earth” practical book I’ve read in a while. Something that each member in the church should read, because they will walk away with a better understand of not just being a part of a body, but the how we can be the body and give gospel-infused care to EVERYONE!
This should be a must-read for every person in the church!
This should be a must-read for every person in the church!
October 12, 2020
Anybody involved in small group ministry should read this book.
(.... so that's everyone)
(.... so that's everyone)
June 29, 2021
Rarely do I read a book and think 'I should buy more and give them away.' This is one of those books. Mine is highlighted like crazy, and I will be returning to it again and again over the years.
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September 18, 2021Every Christian should read this book so they can feel more confidant on dealing with people biblically. Such a great read! I often hand a copy of this book to people!
May 16, 2022
This is an excellent resource for anyone in the church who wants to love people better. Accessible, practical, biblical. 5 ⭐️
June 26, 2022
Wonderful book depicting how God equips all Christians to care for the hurting and struggling people in their lives. Well-written. Easy to read. Good illustrations.
April 30, 2023
Highly recommend for all Christians to read. Not perfect, but a healthy perspective that is rarely discussed or taught
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews