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Color Me In
Debut YA author Natasha Díaz pulls from her personal experience to inform this powerful coming-of-age novel about the meaning of friendship, the joyful beginnings of romance, and the racism and religious intolerance that can both strain a family to the breaking point and strengthen its bonds.
Who is Nevaeh Levitz?
Growing up in an affluent suburb of New York City, sixteen-year-old Nevaeh Levitz never thought much about her biracial roots. When her Black mom and Jewish dad split up, she relocates to her mom's family home in Harlem and is forced to confront her identity for the first time.
Nevaeh wants to get to know her extended family, but one of her cousins can't stand that Nevaeh, who inadvertently passes as white, is too privileged, pampered, and selfish to relate to the injustices they face on a daily basis as African Americans. In the midst of attempting to blend their families, Nevaeh's dad decides that she should have a belated bat mitzvah instead of a sweet sixteen, which guarantees social humiliation at her posh private school. Even with the push and pull of her two cultures, Nevaeh does what she's always done when life gets complicated: she stays silent.
It's only when Nevaeh stumbles upon a secret from her mom's past, finds herself falling in love, and sees firsthand the prejudice her family faces that she begins to realize she has a voice. And she has choices. Will she continue to let circumstances dictate her path? Or will she find power in herself and decide once and for all who and where she is meant to be?
Who is Nevaeh Levitz?
Growing up in an affluent suburb of New York City, sixteen-year-old Nevaeh Levitz never thought much about her biracial roots. When her Black mom and Jewish dad split up, she relocates to her mom's family home in Harlem and is forced to confront her identity for the first time.
Nevaeh wants to get to know her extended family, but one of her cousins can't stand that Nevaeh, who inadvertently passes as white, is too privileged, pampered, and selfish to relate to the injustices they face on a daily basis as African Americans. In the midst of attempting to blend their families, Nevaeh's dad decides that she should have a belated bat mitzvah instead of a sweet sixteen, which guarantees social humiliation at her posh private school. Even with the push and pull of her two cultures, Nevaeh does what she's always done when life gets complicated: she stays silent.
It's only when Nevaeh stumbles upon a secret from her mom's past, finds herself falling in love, and sees firsthand the prejudice her family faces that she begins to realize she has a voice. And she has choices. Will she continue to let circumstances dictate her path? Or will she find power in herself and decide once and for all who and where she is meant to be?
12 pages, Audiobook
First published August 20, 2019
154 people are currently reading
10683 people want to read
About the author
Natasha Diaz
7 books223 followersNatasha Díaz is an award winning author and screenwriter currently residing in Brooklyn, NY. Natasha’s scripts have been developed at FX and Disney. Her essays can be found in The Establishment and Huffington Post. She is an anthology contributor to Wild Tongues Can’t be Tamed, For the Rest of us, and instant USA Today bestselling Black Girl power. Natasha coauthored two novels told in stories, The Grimoire of Grave Fates and House Party. Her debut novel, Color Me In is available wherever books are sold and her sophomore novel, What Lies Beneath the Flowers is out summer 2026.
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February 7, 2020
4 stars
Color Me In is Natasha Diaz’s debut novel that’s a coming of age story about a half black, half jewish girl trying to find her place in the world.
Nevaeh Levitz is 15 and she’s got a lot going on in her life. Her parents are separated, she’s spending half of her time with her white, jewish father in the house she grew up in, and the other half of the time with her black mother and extended family in Harlem where her mother grew up. Being biracial has been challenging to her at times. She’s never felt like she fully fit in anywhere, and being with her mother’s family so much has only brought that to light more.
This is very much a book about self discovery. Nevaeh discovers who she is and who she wants to be, even though the path is rocky at times. As much as I enjoyed Nevaeh’s story, I really loved finding out more about her mother with her journal entries. There were also a lot of great side characters, I especially liked her Rabbi Sarah and her best friend Stevie.
I picked this as my book of the month pick in 2019 and never got to it (fail on my part) but when I saw there was an audiobook and that audiobook was narrated by Bahni Turpin, I knew I had to listen to it. I’m so glad I did. I could listen to Bahni’s voice all day and she does an amazing job bringing her characters to life. I can’t recommend the audiobook enough.
This story was in large part biographical for the author. Her heritage is the same as Nevaeh’s as were some of her life experiences. I found that so interesting and I could tell that this story was written with so much heart. Even though I couldn’t personally relate to the author’s struggles, I still felt for her and Nevaeh.
Color Me In is so well written, especially for a debut novel. It’s got a lot of heart and I loved so much of it. There was a lot going on, which could be distracting at times, and that’s really the only reason it was a 4 star for me instead of a 5. I’ll definitely be reading more form this author.
“We all make assumptions about each other. It doesn’t matter if you’re family or a stranger on the subway; we do it everywhere, even here, in our safe spaces, where we’re supposed to love each other up and down.”
Color Me In is Natasha Diaz’s debut novel that’s a coming of age story about a half black, half jewish girl trying to find her place in the world.
Nevaeh Levitz is 15 and she’s got a lot going on in her life. Her parents are separated, she’s spending half of her time with her white, jewish father in the house she grew up in, and the other half of the time with her black mother and extended family in Harlem where her mother grew up. Being biracial has been challenging to her at times. She’s never felt like she fully fit in anywhere, and being with her mother’s family so much has only brought that to light more.
This is very much a book about self discovery. Nevaeh discovers who she is and who she wants to be, even though the path is rocky at times. As much as I enjoyed Nevaeh’s story, I really loved finding out more about her mother with her journal entries. There were also a lot of great side characters, I especially liked her Rabbi Sarah and her best friend Stevie.
I picked this as my book of the month pick in 2019 and never got to it (fail on my part) but when I saw there was an audiobook and that audiobook was narrated by Bahni Turpin, I knew I had to listen to it. I’m so glad I did. I could listen to Bahni’s voice all day and she does an amazing job bringing her characters to life. I can’t recommend the audiobook enough.
This story was in large part biographical for the author. Her heritage is the same as Nevaeh’s as were some of her life experiences. I found that so interesting and I could tell that this story was written with so much heart. Even though I couldn’t personally relate to the author’s struggles, I still felt for her and Nevaeh.
Color Me In is so well written, especially for a debut novel. It’s got a lot of heart and I loved so much of it. There was a lot going on, which could be distracting at times, and that’s really the only reason it was a 4 star for me instead of a 5. I’ll definitely be reading more form this author.
August 11, 2019
Color Me In is a coming of age story about a biracial teen trying to navigate her Black and Jewish heritage as well as the divorce of her parents. At its core, I think the book delivers on this premise, providing us a unique perspective on finding one’s identity in a situation that is not so black and white. I think Díaz did a wonderful job of capturing this and she broaches the topic of racism and colorism in our society in an appropriate way.
Nevaeh is not always a likable character as she struggles with the idea of making herself heard, but not at the expense of silencing the voices of those who are less privileged than herself. I love how Díaz interlaces beautiful prose with Neveah's poetry, and I really enjoyed her writing style.
One of my favorite aspects of the book was her mother’s journal entries. I loved reading that personal perspective and it added more dimension and understanding to her mother’s character.
I hate talking poorly about a book that covers marginalized communities in a positive way and that is loosely inspired by the author's experiences. But I also think it's not good enough that these stories are just told, I think we should also demand that they are told well. I do have some criticisms about the book, especially surrounding the characters and plot.
Many of the characters feel very stereotypical (often in ways that are harmful to the people they represent). For example, Miss Clarisse who’s described as a scantily-clad older woman who sleeps with a lot of men and is the subject of all the church gossip. I’m not denying that people like this exist but as a book that’s trying to say there is more to people than just what we see on the outside, Daiz could have done more to add a little nuance to her character (like emphasizing that fact that she owns a business or showing readers the Miss Clarisse’s affection for Nevaeh’s grandfather was genuine). Not to mention her character is not at all essential to the plot other than to add some drama to the family dynamic.
There are more examples of this like Jerry, Neveah’s younger cousin, who is only described as being “chubby” and who is always eating or talking about being hungry; Abby and her cartoonishly villainous Southern father who’s ideals are extremely racist and bigoted; and the meek high school teacher who is afraid of his students (and has a really strange out of character moment when he fights against police brutality...?). Again, I’m not saying that these people don’t exist but to not give them as much nuance and development as the main character is doing a disservice to the main theme of the book which says we shouldn’t judge/discriminate someone based on assumptions or their outward appearance.
At times the story veers into unbelievable territory when characters are acting out of character and making decisions that don't fit within their established personalities. Oftentimes the characters make drastic changes without any progression shown. Like Neveah's mother who spends 2/3 of the book depressed and unaware and then changes into a strong, empowered woman after a couple of therapy sessions. Additionally, there are minor plotlines that feel like they were added solely for dramatic effect because none of them ever get resolved. For instance, Jordan spends the majority of the story fighting to attend an HBCU next year after graduating high school. But her mother is against the idea because it’s too expensive. Their arguments are depicted to add more intensity to certain moments in the story and then it’s completely dropped and forgotten. And it’s like this for many of the minor characters.
Overall, the message of this book is strong and well done and it’s why I would recommend everyone read it. I genuinely think that this book will speak to young readers, especially those who have or are experiencing similar issues. The story is from a perspective that isn’t covered enough in literature and I love that it’s opening the doors for these topics to be discussed. I just think a little more focus on some of the minor characters and plotlines would make this story even stronger.
Nevaeh is not always a likable character as she struggles with the idea of making herself heard, but not at the expense of silencing the voices of those who are less privileged than herself. I love how Díaz interlaces beautiful prose with Neveah's poetry, and I really enjoyed her writing style.
One of my favorite aspects of the book was her mother’s journal entries. I loved reading that personal perspective and it added more dimension and understanding to her mother’s character.
I hate talking poorly about a book that covers marginalized communities in a positive way and that is loosely inspired by the author's experiences. But I also think it's not good enough that these stories are just told, I think we should also demand that they are told well. I do have some criticisms about the book, especially surrounding the characters and plot.
Many of the characters feel very stereotypical (often in ways that are harmful to the people they represent). For example, Miss Clarisse who’s described as a scantily-clad older woman who sleeps with a lot of men and is the subject of all the church gossip. I’m not denying that people like this exist but as a book that’s trying to say there is more to people than just what we see on the outside, Daiz could have done more to add a little nuance to her character (like emphasizing that fact that she owns a business or showing readers the Miss Clarisse’s affection for Nevaeh’s grandfather was genuine). Not to mention her character is not at all essential to the plot other than to add some drama to the family dynamic.
There are more examples of this like Jerry, Neveah’s younger cousin, who is only described as being “chubby” and who is always eating or talking about being hungry; Abby and her cartoonishly villainous Southern father who’s ideals are extremely racist and bigoted; and the meek high school teacher who is afraid of his students (and has a really strange out of character moment when he fights against police brutality...?). Again, I’m not saying that these people don’t exist but to not give them as much nuance and development as the main character is doing a disservice to the main theme of the book which says we shouldn’t judge/discriminate someone based on assumptions or their outward appearance.
At times the story veers into unbelievable territory when characters are acting out of character and making decisions that don't fit within their established personalities. Oftentimes the characters make drastic changes without any progression shown. Like Neveah's mother who spends 2/3 of the book depressed and unaware and then changes into a strong, empowered woman after a couple of therapy sessions. Additionally, there are minor plotlines that feel like they were added solely for dramatic effect because none of them ever get resolved. For instance, Jordan spends the majority of the story fighting to attend an HBCU next year after graduating high school. But her mother is against the idea because it’s too expensive. Their arguments are depicted to add more intensity to certain moments in the story and then it’s completely dropped and forgotten. And it’s like this for many of the minor characters.
Overall, the message of this book is strong and well done and it’s why I would recommend everyone read it. I genuinely think that this book will speak to young readers, especially those who have or are experiencing similar issues. The story is from a perspective that isn’t covered enough in literature and I love that it’s opening the doors for these topics to be discussed. I just think a little more focus on some of the minor characters and plotlines would make this story even stronger.
July 13, 2019
“We all make assumptions about each other. It doesn’t matter if you’re family or a
stranger on the subway; we do it everywhere, even here, in our safe spaces, where we’re
supposed to love each other up and down.”
With straight brown hair and pale skin, no one realizes 16 year old Nevaeh is half black.
She’s not popular at her white NY prep school and with her black fam, she sticks out like a sore
thumb. So where does she fit in? When her dad (white, Jewish, and filthy rich) is caught
cheating on her mom, Nevaeh moves in with her family in the city with her grandpa, aunt, and
two very opinionated teen twin cousins - causing Nevaeh to confront her biracial heritage - and
her privilege - for the first time.
Color Me In is a truly phenomenal debut, following a richly complex character who
struggles to figure out who she is. An ode to the multitudes girls of color contain within themselves, I was deeply impressed by how many themes operated inside Color Me In - impressed at Diaz's ability to balance those themes and to fully explore each. Some of my favorite elements were:
1. Loving a parent with deteriorating mental health
2. Balancing multiple ethnic and religious identities
3. Coming of age
4. First love
5. Bullying
The writing was lyrical, but easily digestible with hilarious dialogue which alleviated tension brought in by heavier discussion topics. I enjoyed moments where Nevaeh has to confront her privilege and
how to use it so much. She is a regular kid - she makes mistakes, but it was elating to watch her learn from them.
Diaz gives us a refreshingly real story about growing up, especially in a New York
setting. I found myself relating so much to Nevaeh as someone who is both biracial and a New
Yorker. It pulled at my heart to watch her learn how to love, how to be a good friend, how to
be who she is, and to learn about how the world sees her. For "Color Me In" I only have two points of criticism:
1. Didn’t like the way fat characters were described
2. All of the female antagonistic characters embodied either the "airhead" or the “she devil” stereotype . The attitude that female villains should be either hyper sexual or unintelligent is outdated and should be retired from our literature.
Other than those things, I dig this story and will be 1. Buying it and 2. Reading it again and
again.
4.5/5 stars
stranger on the subway; we do it everywhere, even here, in our safe spaces, where we’re
supposed to love each other up and down.”
With straight brown hair and pale skin, no one realizes 16 year old Nevaeh is half black.
She’s not popular at her white NY prep school and with her black fam, she sticks out like a sore
thumb. So where does she fit in? When her dad (white, Jewish, and filthy rich) is caught
cheating on her mom, Nevaeh moves in with her family in the city with her grandpa, aunt, and
two very opinionated teen twin cousins - causing Nevaeh to confront her biracial heritage - and
her privilege - for the first time.
Color Me In is a truly phenomenal debut, following a richly complex character who
struggles to figure out who she is. An ode to the multitudes girls of color contain within themselves, I was deeply impressed by how many themes operated inside Color Me In - impressed at Diaz's ability to balance those themes and to fully explore each. Some of my favorite elements were:
1. Loving a parent with deteriorating mental health
2. Balancing multiple ethnic and religious identities
3. Coming of age
4. First love
5. Bullying
The writing was lyrical, but easily digestible with hilarious dialogue which alleviated tension brought in by heavier discussion topics. I enjoyed moments where Nevaeh has to confront her privilege and
how to use it so much. She is a regular kid - she makes mistakes, but it was elating to watch her learn from them.
Diaz gives us a refreshingly real story about growing up, especially in a New York
setting. I found myself relating so much to Nevaeh as someone who is both biracial and a New
Yorker. It pulled at my heart to watch her learn how to love, how to be a good friend, how to
be who she is, and to learn about how the world sees her. For "Color Me In" I only have two points of criticism:
1. Didn’t like the way fat characters were described
2. All of the female antagonistic characters embodied either the "airhead" or the “she devil” stereotype . The attitude that female villains should be either hyper sexual or unintelligent is outdated and should be retired from our literature.
Other than those things, I dig this story and will be 1. Buying it and 2. Reading it again and
again.
4.5/5 stars
May 31, 2019
Received from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
I always feel bad low-balling books that are semi-autobiographical, because it makes me feel like I'm invalidating someone's life experiences, which is irrational, but here we are. However, as much as I really wanted to love this book, it just didn't work for me.
Honestly, my biggest problem is the characterization of pretty much every character, with the exception of maybe Zeke and Janae, who are pretty consistent throughout. A lot of characters, like Anita, Stevie, Jesus, Abby, Jordan and Nevaeh herself, have wildly inconsistent personalities. They pull complete character 180s at random, and those changes are never explained, with the exception of Nevaeh, who is hand-waved as a character who doesn't know who she is so she has no consistent character traits. Jerry is a fat character whose fatness is always referenced (seriously, every time he appears on page, his weight is used as a descriptor) and spends a lot of the book either eating or talking about how much he wishes he could be eating. Rabbi Sarah is just... weird. She's simultaneously a cipher and a brash woman, but not in a way that makes any kind of sense. Samuel is an almost cartoonishly bad person, and Corrine goes from being a shell of a woman to a dynamic (if we're being really generous) character. The relationships between Nevaeh and Jesus, Nevaeh and Rabbi Sarah, and Nevaeh and Jordan have no development. The first two pairs go from strangers to absolutely devoted to each other with no build up, and Jordan hates Nevaeh up until Jesus gets racially profiled. It's all very bizarre, and I had a hard time taking any of the characters or relationships seriously because they changed at the drop of a hat.
The writing is fine. I found the prose to be more engaging and (on occasion) poignant than the poetry, which felt extraneous for most of the story (and also just... not good in my opinion). Most of it is pedestrian (which I honestly don't mind in a novel), but there are a few hidden gems sprinkled throughout, hinting at Diaz's potential. The concept isn't anything special--coming-of-age stories aren't exactly unique experiences--but this specific coming-of-age isn't one I've come across before. Having a biracial character who also has to navigate two separate religions really breathed new life into the plot line.
Overall, fairly mediocre, though a quick read. 4/10 would recommend.
I always feel bad low-balling books that are semi-autobiographical, because it makes me feel like I'm invalidating someone's life experiences, which is irrational, but here we are. However, as much as I really wanted to love this book, it just didn't work for me.
Honestly, my biggest problem is the characterization of pretty much every character, with the exception of maybe Zeke and Janae, who are pretty consistent throughout. A lot of characters, like Anita, Stevie, Jesus, Abby, Jordan and Nevaeh herself, have wildly inconsistent personalities. They pull complete character 180s at random, and those changes are never explained, with the exception of Nevaeh, who is hand-waved as a character who doesn't know who she is so she has no consistent character traits. Jerry is a fat character whose fatness is always referenced (seriously, every time he appears on page, his weight is used as a descriptor) and spends a lot of the book either eating or talking about how much he wishes he could be eating. Rabbi Sarah is just... weird. She's simultaneously a cipher and a brash woman, but not in a way that makes any kind of sense. Samuel is an almost cartoonishly bad person, and Corrine goes from being a shell of a woman to a dynamic (if we're being really generous) character. The relationships between Nevaeh and Jesus, Nevaeh and Rabbi Sarah, and Nevaeh and Jordan have no development. The first two pairs go from strangers to absolutely devoted to each other with no build up, and Jordan hates Nevaeh up until Jesus gets racially profiled. It's all very bizarre, and I had a hard time taking any of the characters or relationships seriously because they changed at the drop of a hat.
The writing is fine. I found the prose to be more engaging and (on occasion) poignant than the poetry, which felt extraneous for most of the story (and also just... not good in my opinion). Most of it is pedestrian (which I honestly don't mind in a novel), but there are a few hidden gems sprinkled throughout, hinting at Diaz's potential. The concept isn't anything special--coming-of-age stories aren't exactly unique experiences--but this specific coming-of-age isn't one I've come across before. Having a biracial character who also has to navigate two separate religions really breathed new life into the plot line.
Overall, fairly mediocre, though a quick read. 4/10 would recommend.
March 19, 2020
I received a copy from the publisher in exchange of an honest review
CW: racism, racist miscro-aggressions.
If my memory serves me right, Color Me In in the first book with a biracial MC written by a biracial author I have ever read. And the fact that this was written by someone who knows what they’re talking about SHOWS, nothing quite like living the biracial experience to get it right on page. And although I am not white passing so I did not relate to a lot of the things going down in the book, some of the feelings mirrored mine so perfectly that I couldn’t help but feel seen in a way.
Although I went in expecting this to be about a biracial girl who doesn’t quite fit in with either one of her communities, in many ways, it was different from what I expected. But not in a bad way. Navaeh is the daughter of a Jewish man and a Black woman, who is very white passing, getting the classic and extremely racist question of whether her mom is her babysitter, her mom getting suspicious looks whenever she takes her out, etc… really pleasant Black experience (not 🙃). This book not only tackled her experience as a biracial person struggling to belong but also her white passing privilege head on, which I really appreciated. I was scared this would turn into a one-woman pity party that didn’t look at the other side of coin.
Full review posted on my blog : Word Wonders
CW: racism, racist miscro-aggressions.
If my memory serves me right, Color Me In in the first book with a biracial MC written by a biracial author I have ever read. And the fact that this was written by someone who knows what they’re talking about SHOWS, nothing quite like living the biracial experience to get it right on page. And although I am not white passing so I did not relate to a lot of the things going down in the book, some of the feelings mirrored mine so perfectly that I couldn’t help but feel seen in a way.
Although I went in expecting this to be about a biracial girl who doesn’t quite fit in with either one of her communities, in many ways, it was different from what I expected. But not in a bad way. Navaeh is the daughter of a Jewish man and a Black woman, who is very white passing, getting the classic and extremely racist question of whether her mom is her babysitter, her mom getting suspicious looks whenever she takes her out, etc… really pleasant Black experience (not 🙃). This book not only tackled her experience as a biracial person struggling to belong but also her white passing privilege head on, which I really appreciated. I was scared this would turn into a one-woman pity party that didn’t look at the other side of coin.
Full review posted on my blog : Word Wonders
August 31, 2023
A great coming-of-age story about a biracial teen who is trying to find her identity while navigating being a teenager. I found Navaeh real, flawed, and honest in her search for belonging.
I received an advanced copy through Netgalley in return for an honest review.
I received an advanced copy through Netgalley in return for an honest review.
August 18, 2019
****4 STARS****
Review to come. . .
Review to come. . .
October 1, 2019
****Okay, I need to preface this review by offering some personal background, because I think it affects how I responded to this book. I am white but my husband is Black and our children are multi-racial. I was actually interested in this because it is an own-voices book about mixed identity and white-passing and I feel, as a parent of mixed kids, that it's important to be self-aware and thoughtful about addressing issues that will affect them as they grow up, and also about how to connect them to their heritage from both sides. With that said, I found this book to be kind of frustrating for reasons I get into below:****
Despite the fun cover, Color Me In is a very heavy YA contemporary about bi-racial identity and white-passing privilege. In general, I think the prose is well-executed, it is easy to read, and the issues being addressed are important ones, but I think it took on too much for one book and heaps issue upon issue on top of our main character and it is just too much. Individually, there are a lot of great things here and issues worth exploring, but put all together it feels unnecessarily traumatic. The author's note at the end offers some insight into how very much she drew on her own experiences, but in some ways it feels like an excuse for being so hard on a character. This may have been a cathartic way for the author to work out her own trauma and experiences, but I wish an editor had then suggested the draft be funneled into multiple projects. All of that to say, this book was much harder to read and to review than I had anticipated.
Neveah Levitz is NYC high school student who is half-Black (Jamaican & West African I think?) half-white (Jewish) and is caught between two religions, two worlds, and two parents. She is also dealing with a lot, and I mean a LOT! Her parents are separated (because her dad was cheating with his young, blond assistant), her mom is experiencing severe depression, one of her cousins is REALLY hard on her for having privilege associated with being white-passing, she is experiencing brutal bullying at school that is racially charged, she's living with her Black extended family who had been estranged where there is at least one instance of casual physical abuse, and she finds her moms journal which recounts things like her experience of sexual assault. Meanwhile, her irreligious dad decides she should have a belated Bat Mitzvah, to be planned by his former mistress and new live-in girlfriend who is truly awful. Whew!
I have to say, when I picked this up, I definitely did not realize how heavy and emotionally difficult this was going to be and I'm left asking, why? Why put all of this in one book? Especially because it also reads as having very little compassion for the traumatized Neveah who apparently just needs to get it together and actively recognize her privilege? I don't know where to start. This could have been one book about race-related bullying at school and figuring out how to own your identity, another book about being pulled between Christianity & Judaism with interracial parents, and another book about the difficulties of living with a different part of your family and coming to terms with your white-passing privilege. Oh, and maybe something about having a parent dealing with mental illness and physical abuse at home! Instead we get it all at once and it's just...too much. And much of what we get is never adequately addressed, like the mom's mental health and some of the instances of bullying.
I was also uncomfortable with her aunt slapping her at one point and it being glossed over as not a big deal. Physical abuse is always a big deal. I was particularly bothered because it seems like this is supposed to be a positive example of a loving Black family, and that implies that abuse is normal in "good" Black families, which simply isn't true! (see my in-laws for instance) It's one thing if this was a book addressing familial abuse because of course that does exist, but that's not the point of this book, so why?!
The other kind of weird thing is that ALL of the adult characters pretty much have issues and her dad is a complete jerk with very little nuance to his character. It kind of reads like latent bitterness toward a father figure? And what we end up with is that nearly every single white character in the book is irredeemably horrible, except for the quirky rabbi who comes from an abusive background. I'm fine with having evil white characters, but this feels oddly unbalanced, especially when combined with how hard Neveah eventually is on herself for being able to pass as white. Also, we see in her mother's journal a moment where her dad had said something along the lines of "I don't see you as Black, I just see us together" which is clearly messed up, but given the age of the parents (not much older than me) I feel like this misses the fact that most interracial couples today are much more self-aware, recognize the real social/cultural implications of race, and are thoughtful about how they raise children of mixed identity. I found this to be incredibly frustrating and thought it could have been handled differently.
Clearly I had a strong emotional response to this book! And the thing is, it's not a bad book and taken separately, there is a lot to like here. For instance, I loved the exploration of having parents from different religious backgrounds because it isn't something you see often in YA. Unfortunately all-together, I felt messy and traumatic. I would be interested to see more from this author in the future, but I hope the themes are a little more streamlined.
Despite the fun cover, Color Me In is a very heavy YA contemporary about bi-racial identity and white-passing privilege. In general, I think the prose is well-executed, it is easy to read, and the issues being addressed are important ones, but I think it took on too much for one book and heaps issue upon issue on top of our main character and it is just too much. Individually, there are a lot of great things here and issues worth exploring, but put all together it feels unnecessarily traumatic. The author's note at the end offers some insight into how very much she drew on her own experiences, but in some ways it feels like an excuse for being so hard on a character. This may have been a cathartic way for the author to work out her own trauma and experiences, but I wish an editor had then suggested the draft be funneled into multiple projects. All of that to say, this book was much harder to read and to review than I had anticipated.
Neveah Levitz is NYC high school student who is half-Black (Jamaican & West African I think?) half-white (Jewish) and is caught between two religions, two worlds, and two parents. She is also dealing with a lot, and I mean a LOT! Her parents are separated (because her dad was cheating with his young, blond assistant), her mom is experiencing severe depression, one of her cousins is REALLY hard on her for having privilege associated with being white-passing, she is experiencing brutal bullying at school that is racially charged, she's living with her Black extended family who had been estranged where there is at least one instance of casual physical abuse, and she finds her moms journal which recounts things like her experience of sexual assault. Meanwhile, her irreligious dad decides she should have a belated Bat Mitzvah, to be planned by his former mistress and new live-in girlfriend who is truly awful. Whew!
I have to say, when I picked this up, I definitely did not realize how heavy and emotionally difficult this was going to be and I'm left asking, why? Why put all of this in one book? Especially because it also reads as having very little compassion for the traumatized Neveah who apparently just needs to get it together and actively recognize her privilege? I don't know where to start. This could have been one book about race-related bullying at school and figuring out how to own your identity, another book about being pulled between Christianity & Judaism with interracial parents, and another book about the difficulties of living with a different part of your family and coming to terms with your white-passing privilege. Oh, and maybe something about having a parent dealing with mental illness and physical abuse at home! Instead we get it all at once and it's just...too much. And much of what we get is never adequately addressed, like the mom's mental health and some of the instances of bullying.
I was also uncomfortable with her aunt slapping her at one point and it being glossed over as not a big deal. Physical abuse is always a big deal. I was particularly bothered because it seems like this is supposed to be a positive example of a loving Black family, and that implies that abuse is normal in "good" Black families, which simply isn't true! (see my in-laws for instance) It's one thing if this was a book addressing familial abuse because of course that does exist, but that's not the point of this book, so why?!
The other kind of weird thing is that ALL of the adult characters pretty much have issues and her dad is a complete jerk with very little nuance to his character. It kind of reads like latent bitterness toward a father figure? And what we end up with is that nearly every single white character in the book is irredeemably horrible, except for the quirky rabbi who comes from an abusive background. I'm fine with having evil white characters, but this feels oddly unbalanced, especially when combined with how hard Neveah eventually is on herself for being able to pass as white. Also, we see in her mother's journal a moment where her dad had said something along the lines of "I don't see you as Black, I just see us together" which is clearly messed up, but given the age of the parents (not much older than me) I feel like this misses the fact that most interracial couples today are much more self-aware, recognize the real social/cultural implications of race, and are thoughtful about how they raise children of mixed identity. I found this to be incredibly frustrating and thought it could have been handled differently.
Clearly I had a strong emotional response to this book! And the thing is, it's not a bad book and taken separately, there is a lot to like here. For instance, I loved the exploration of having parents from different religious backgrounds because it isn't something you see often in YA. Unfortunately all-together, I felt messy and traumatic. I would be interested to see more from this author in the future, but I hope the themes are a little more streamlined.
July 1, 2019
This is probably closer to a 4.5..
Some books just surprise you in the best of ways. When I added this book to my TBR, I only expected to read a nice YA coming of age contemporary, but wow did I get so much more. I’m emotional and delighted and thoroughly impressed, so let me share my thoughts.
Nevaeh’s life is completely turned upside down due to her parent’s separation and she is struggling to find her place in this new reality. She wants to fit in with her mother’s very religious Baptist family living in Harlem, but she has never the chance or maybe even desire to explore her Black identity before, so she doesn’t know how to do it. She tries to channel her confusion, her rage and her feelings into her writing but she is still afraid to show it to anyone. But slowly with the help of her extended family, the friends she makes in the vibrant community and getting to know her mother better through her old journal, she starts expressing herself through spoken word poetry. She is also initially hesitant to understand her Jewish identity but that slowly changes because of the influence of the very interesting Rabbi Sarah. I liked how the author shows us all facets of Nevaeh - she isn’t perfect, just a realistic teenager with faults, who doesn’t know everything, makes mistakes and can’t even understand why she is wrong - but ultimately she owns up her mistakes and tries to correct them, strives to be better.
Every other character in the book also has their own arc. They all influence Nevaeh in her growth, but they have lives and their own issues independent of her. That’s why this book is more reading about the daily lives of a family and their friends, rather than just about the main character. Her mother’s despair because of the divorce and her deep rooted anxieties are cleverly integrated into the story through the journal, which was also probably one of the hardest parts of the book to read. Jordan is her vivacious cousin who has dreams and ideas for her future, but has to constantly fight for her opportunities because the world doesn’t think a young Black woman deserves them. Stevie is Nevaeh’s best friend and I just adored his wit and his confidence to go for what he wants. Her aunt Anita comes across as abrasive but they are so many layers to her character and it was beautiful to get to know her. And Rabbi Sarah is one of my favorites - faithful but also open minded, she is charming and delightful but there’s also a deep sadness in her. She plays such an important part in the book and I would have loved to get to know her better, but the way her arc is written is kinda perfect for this story. I wasn’t sure what to think of Jesus initially but I liked the developing romance. He is also probably one of the most sorted characters in that he knows what he wants from his future and has worked hard for it, despite the world trying to snatch it away from him. Abby is the typical mean girl classmate and Ashleigh is the usual evil stepmother - while I understood the parts they played in Nevaeh’s character growth, they both didn’t feel as real as all the other characters in the book and that’s probably my only issue with this book.
There are so many themes explored in this book, I’m just in awe of the author for being able to talk about all of them in a sensitive manner. The main theme is obviously the issues faced by biracial people, their confusion with finding their place and trying to fit in with both sides of their identity. Both Nevaeh and Stevie have similar kind of issues personally, but they also affect them differently in the outside world because Nevaeh is white passing and he is not. She makes mistakes and is forced to check her privilege many times, sometimes brutally - until she realizes that her privilege allows her to voice her thoughts in a safer manner and sometimes, she has to use this privilege to just listen and give the opportunity to other marginalized voices to speak. There are just so many instances of racism in the book, both micro aggressions and some outright ones - we see how it chips away at the soul of the person who has to encounter them everyday but still wake up and go through it all over again, knowing that their life maybe cut short with even a little misstep. This harsh reality is depicted with raw honesty in the book and it just pained me so much. On another note, the despair of having to go through a divorce after having depended on a person for years is also depicted in a very real manner. The one part which I felt really hard though was, how deep it cuts to lose a childhood best friend and having to go through life without being able to share everything with them. As a single child like Nevaeh, I understood her pain all too well even though my circumstances were different, but I think more books should highlight the deep impact that friendships have on us and how losing them affect us even profoundly than a romantic breakup.
Finally, I just want to say that pick up this book and I promise, you will be affected. It is brilliant, insightful and heartfelt and you just can’t help but feel the raw emotions that the characters are feeling. It clearly shows that this is the author’s lived experience, a fictionalized version of her own life which makes every word feel very honest. The author’s note at the end is even more moving. However, this is a very character driven, slice of life kinda story and there is not much of a plot, but it didn't impact my reading experience at all. It's an amazing debut and I can’t wait to see what more the author has for us in the future.
Some books just surprise you in the best of ways. When I added this book to my TBR, I only expected to read a nice YA coming of age contemporary, but wow did I get so much more. I’m emotional and delighted and thoroughly impressed, so let me share my thoughts.
Nevaeh’s life is completely turned upside down due to her parent’s separation and she is struggling to find her place in this new reality. She wants to fit in with her mother’s very religious Baptist family living in Harlem, but she has never the chance or maybe even desire to explore her Black identity before, so she doesn’t know how to do it. She tries to channel her confusion, her rage and her feelings into her writing but she is still afraid to show it to anyone. But slowly with the help of her extended family, the friends she makes in the vibrant community and getting to know her mother better through her old journal, she starts expressing herself through spoken word poetry. She is also initially hesitant to understand her Jewish identity but that slowly changes because of the influence of the very interesting Rabbi Sarah. I liked how the author shows us all facets of Nevaeh - she isn’t perfect, just a realistic teenager with faults, who doesn’t know everything, makes mistakes and can’t even understand why she is wrong - but ultimately she owns up her mistakes and tries to correct them, strives to be better.
Every other character in the book also has their own arc. They all influence Nevaeh in her growth, but they have lives and their own issues independent of her. That’s why this book is more reading about the daily lives of a family and their friends, rather than just about the main character. Her mother’s despair because of the divorce and her deep rooted anxieties are cleverly integrated into the story through the journal, which was also probably one of the hardest parts of the book to read. Jordan is her vivacious cousin who has dreams and ideas for her future, but has to constantly fight for her opportunities because the world doesn’t think a young Black woman deserves them. Stevie is Nevaeh’s best friend and I just adored his wit and his confidence to go for what he wants. Her aunt Anita comes across as abrasive but they are so many layers to her character and it was beautiful to get to know her. And Rabbi Sarah is one of my favorites - faithful but also open minded, she is charming and delightful but there’s also a deep sadness in her. She plays such an important part in the book and I would have loved to get to know her better, but the way her arc is written is kinda perfect for this story. I wasn’t sure what to think of Jesus initially but I liked the developing romance. He is also probably one of the most sorted characters in that he knows what he wants from his future and has worked hard for it, despite the world trying to snatch it away from him. Abby is the typical mean girl classmate and Ashleigh is the usual evil stepmother - while I understood the parts they played in Nevaeh’s character growth, they both didn’t feel as real as all the other characters in the book and that’s probably my only issue with this book.
There are so many themes explored in this book, I’m just in awe of the author for being able to talk about all of them in a sensitive manner. The main theme is obviously the issues faced by biracial people, their confusion with finding their place and trying to fit in with both sides of their identity. Both Nevaeh and Stevie have similar kind of issues personally, but they also affect them differently in the outside world because Nevaeh is white passing and he is not. She makes mistakes and is forced to check her privilege many times, sometimes brutally - until she realizes that her privilege allows her to voice her thoughts in a safer manner and sometimes, she has to use this privilege to just listen and give the opportunity to other marginalized voices to speak. There are just so many instances of racism in the book, both micro aggressions and some outright ones - we see how it chips away at the soul of the person who has to encounter them everyday but still wake up and go through it all over again, knowing that their life maybe cut short with even a little misstep. This harsh reality is depicted with raw honesty in the book and it just pained me so much. On another note, the despair of having to go through a divorce after having depended on a person for years is also depicted in a very real manner. The one part which I felt really hard though was, how deep it cuts to lose a childhood best friend and having to go through life without being able to share everything with them. As a single child like Nevaeh, I understood her pain all too well even though my circumstances were different, but I think more books should highlight the deep impact that friendships have on us and how losing them affect us even profoundly than a romantic breakup.
Finally, I just want to say that pick up this book and I promise, you will be affected. It is brilliant, insightful and heartfelt and you just can’t help but feel the raw emotions that the characters are feeling. It clearly shows that this is the author’s lived experience, a fictionalized version of her own life which makes every word feel very honest. The author’s note at the end is even more moving. However, this is a very character driven, slice of life kinda story and there is not much of a plot, but it didn't impact my reading experience at all. It's an amazing debut and I can’t wait to see what more the author has for us in the future.
April 12, 2020
Color Me In follows biracial character Neveah Levitz, who is struggling to accept and identify as a black, Jewish woman in the face of her parents' separation. This lyrical YA novel is one of few that I've read recently that doesn't just grapple with racism, but with colorism and a character that is "passing" for white. As she grows to find her voice (both in writing and in speech) and learns to advocate for herself and the communities that she is a part of, she starts to understand how she is complicit in racism as well. I liked the characters and thought it dealt nicely with issues of mental health, divorce, and race. This is an #ownvoices book and author Natasha Diaz is writing from her own experience, which includes a limited exploration of Judaism.
As a Jewish woman, I found the prayers and Bat Mitzvah made a compelling background to the story and I loved Rabbi Sarah and the ways in which Judaism was celebrated in tandem with Black identity. However, there are a couple areas that fell short for me: 1) the fact that Neveah's passage from the Torah was from Yom Kippur, a high holiday in Judaism that would never be led by a Bat Mitzvah and which a Rabbi certainty wouldn't miss 2) the fact that Jewish culture is limited to descriptions of Hebrew prayer and 3) no discussion or realization by Neveah that Jews have a history of oppression but have often used their whiteness to oppress others - including people of color, which would fit nicely with the overall storyline itself. This is all with the caveat that I do not share the same identity as the author and I can only critique what I know, which is the Jewish cultural pieces of the book.
It was slow in a few places, but I think this is a strong debut and I would be interested in seeing what Diaz writes next. I recommend this to readers looking for a coming of age novel featuring a biracial character.
As a Jewish woman, I found the prayers and Bat Mitzvah made a compelling background to the story and I loved Rabbi Sarah and the ways in which Judaism was celebrated in tandem with Black identity. However, there are a couple areas that fell short for me: 1) the fact that Neveah's passage from the Torah was from Yom Kippur, a high holiday in Judaism that would never be led by a Bat Mitzvah and which a Rabbi certainty wouldn't miss 2) the fact that Jewish culture is limited to descriptions of Hebrew prayer and 3) no discussion or realization by Neveah that Jews have a history of oppression but have often used their whiteness to oppress others - including people of color, which would fit nicely with the overall storyline itself. This is all with the caveat that I do not share the same identity as the author and I can only critique what I know, which is the Jewish cultural pieces of the book.
It was slow in a few places, but I think this is a strong debut and I would be interested in seeing what Diaz writes next. I recommend this to readers looking for a coming of age novel featuring a biracial character.
February 24, 2020
The title is perfect for this book, I enjoyed this story so much! The struggles of being both black and white are immense, the writing is very good. I love when a YA doesn’t feel too young and I can relate to the topic strongly even though it doesn’t pertain to my life personally. Thanks to the author for making me feel her pain with her words.
May 8, 2020
It feels a little condescending to say you can tell a book is a debut novel, but...you can tell this is a debut novel.
Lemme back up and start with the good: I think it's terrific to see representation of the struggles that multiracial kids face every day, from their families to their friends and classmates to their own inner voice. Neveah is so unsure of who exactly she is because she's seen in such different ways by everyone around her and she's felt pulled in a number of directions her whole life when it comes to identity, culture, and beliefs. I appreciated seeing her trying to reconcile all these different aspects of herself, even while some of them are denied or dismissed by those closest to her. She's too white for her Black family members, not white enough for some of her snotty white classmates, etc.
But a big issue I had with this book concerns another aspect of Neveah's identity, which is Judaism. As a white Ashkenazi Jewish woman, I always love seeing representation of Jews of color, because unfortunately, a lot of people both Jewish and Gentile seem to think they don't exist, which is...ridiculous. And I know that this book is semi-autobiographical and that Neveah's identities very closely mirror those of the author. But I tell you, if the author weren't Jewish, I'd be straight up calling a lot of stuff in here ignorant at best, bordering on anti-Semitic at worst. That might be a bit too far, to be fair, but I felt that the Jewish characters were basically a bunch of stereotypes cobbled together into people. Now, sure, some of those stereotypes can be realistic! But it felt lazy to throw all of them together like that. There were also just some inaccuracies regarding Judaism, such as prayers being read out of order, misspellings, and an odd absence of acknowledgment of matrilineal inheritance. In Judaism, identity is traced through the mother - if your mother is Jewish, then you are, unless you specifically convert away to another religion. If your father is Jewish, then in Reform temples (the kind of "low tier" of the religion as far as Biblical adherence and such; most Jews in the US are Reform) you will be accepted as a Jew if you are raised in the religion and identify as such. Neveah was very clearly not raised as a Jew and doesn't practice any of it at all and seems intensely opposed to doing so. Yet so many people, including rabbis (!!), talk about how her Jewishness is in her blood and DNA. It was just...odd, and not quite accurate.
I also didn't understand her RAGE against the idea of a bat mitzvah. Like, she wasn't just saying, "Eh, I really don't want to." She would ALL CAPS SCREAM about the very idea of it. The author's note at the end explains some of her own discomfort with her Jewish identity when she was younger, but even so, it really rubbed me the wrong way.
I also just felt like the writing and character development were pretty lacking. Many of the side characters were simultaneously flat and inconsistent, and often behaved in bizarre ways that were never explained. There were a lot of instances of extra words being thrown in, like when you're writing an essay in school and you're a little shy of the required word count, so you go back and stuff in a few unnecessary words. Also a lot of girl hate and some random fatphobia directed mainly at a damn child.
So...I appreciate that this book exists, and I'm glad that the author felt ready and able to tell her own story through Neveah. But by and large this didn't work for me, and as I said, it's very clearly a debut that needed a stronger editing hand, as well as maybe a little research, ahem. I'd be willing to read something else from her though, because a not-so-strong debut doesn't mean the author won't develop that strength as they go on.
Lemme back up and start with the good: I think it's terrific to see representation of the struggles that multiracial kids face every day, from their families to their friends and classmates to their own inner voice. Neveah is so unsure of who exactly she is because she's seen in such different ways by everyone around her and she's felt pulled in a number of directions her whole life when it comes to identity, culture, and beliefs. I appreciated seeing her trying to reconcile all these different aspects of herself, even while some of them are denied or dismissed by those closest to her. She's too white for her Black family members, not white enough for some of her snotty white classmates, etc.
But a big issue I had with this book concerns another aspect of Neveah's identity, which is Judaism. As a white Ashkenazi Jewish woman, I always love seeing representation of Jews of color, because unfortunately, a lot of people both Jewish and Gentile seem to think they don't exist, which is...ridiculous. And I know that this book is semi-autobiographical and that Neveah's identities very closely mirror those of the author. But I tell you, if the author weren't Jewish, I'd be straight up calling a lot of stuff in here ignorant at best, bordering on anti-Semitic at worst. That might be a bit too far, to be fair, but I felt that the Jewish characters were basically a bunch of stereotypes cobbled together into people. Now, sure, some of those stereotypes can be realistic! But it felt lazy to throw all of them together like that. There were also just some inaccuracies regarding Judaism, such as prayers being read out of order, misspellings, and an odd absence of acknowledgment of matrilineal inheritance. In Judaism, identity is traced through the mother - if your mother is Jewish, then you are, unless you specifically convert away to another religion. If your father is Jewish, then in Reform temples (the kind of "low tier" of the religion as far as Biblical adherence and such; most Jews in the US are Reform) you will be accepted as a Jew if you are raised in the religion and identify as such. Neveah was very clearly not raised as a Jew and doesn't practice any of it at all and seems intensely opposed to doing so. Yet so many people, including rabbis (!!), talk about how her Jewishness is in her blood and DNA. It was just...odd, and not quite accurate.
I also didn't understand her RAGE against the idea of a bat mitzvah. Like, she wasn't just saying, "Eh, I really don't want to." She would ALL CAPS SCREAM about the very idea of it. The author's note at the end explains some of her own discomfort with her Jewish identity when she was younger, but even so, it really rubbed me the wrong way.
I also just felt like the writing and character development were pretty lacking. Many of the side characters were simultaneously flat and inconsistent, and often behaved in bizarre ways that were never explained. There were a lot of instances of extra words being thrown in, like when you're writing an essay in school and you're a little shy of the required word count, so you go back and stuff in a few unnecessary words. Also a lot of girl hate and some random fatphobia directed mainly at a damn child.
So...I appreciate that this book exists, and I'm glad that the author felt ready and able to tell her own story through Neveah. But by and large this didn't work for me, and as I said, it's very clearly a debut that needed a stronger editing hand, as well as maybe a little research, ahem. I'd be willing to read something else from her though, because a not-so-strong debut doesn't mean the author won't develop that strength as they go on.
July 9, 2019
Please note that I received this book via NetGalley. This did not affect my rating or review.
"Color Me In" has a young adult character that I think some readers will definitely enjoy. We follow 15 year old Nevaeh Levitz who is dealing with the fall out of her parents separation. She and her mother are living with her mother's relatives in Harlem while her mother tries to move forward. Nevaeh feels trapped between the world she came from (rich and affluent) and where she starts to feel more comfortable with her black relatives in Harlem and starts putting together the pieces of her mother's history. Diaz gets into colorism, being biracial, racism, Judaism, and first love. I think she does a great job juggling all of this, though at times parts of Nevaeh's journey feels a little forced.
Nevaeh feels like a person split in two. Though she's biracial (Jewish and African America) she is still seen as a white girl living with her relatives in Harlem. Her mother and father have separated with Nevaeh feeling lost due to her father being gone for two months while her mother sinks further into depression. Nevaeh is finally getting to know her aunt, uncle, and three cousins. We slowly find out that Nevaeh's father kept her mother from seeing her relatives and there definitely seems to be subtle and not subtle signs of racism coming from him. And we get to see how Nevaeh finds out more about where she came from (on her mother's side) and how she's not just one thing.
The secondary characters were developed well though I thought that Nevaeh's father was just a hot mess. I wish that Diaz had delved more into the father's actions because it was heavily implied he looked down upon his wife's blackness, but no one came right out and called his behavior racist. You can see why Nevaeh's mother is depressed and realizing how she gave up her sense of self (a black woman who was a child of immigrants) to marry a rich man who wanted her to deny that part of herself in order to fit in.
We also have Diaz including a Rabbi (Rabbi Sarah) who starts to teach Nevaeh more about Judaism and prepares her for her Bat Mitzvah. I did find Rabbi Sarah to be a little unorthodox though with how she talks to Nevaeh. I just once again don't know how realistic that would be with an adult and a 15 year old.
I thought that Diaz's relationship with her aunt was quite realistic and I felt pangs for Nevaeh trying to fit in with her cousins and the constant rejection from one of them.
I thought the writing was sharp in places, but honestly the way that Nevaeh and her cousins speak though sounded way too old. Not that all teens run around speaking broken grammar, it just sounded like they were making too many speeches. For example, when Nevaeh goes back to her school and addresses the principal and other adults. I just felt like it was too try hard in that moment. Also incorporating some of Nevaeh's writing/poetry wrecked the flow for me at times. I also thought including Nevaeh's mother's diary tripped things up a bit too.
The setting of Harlem came alive based on how Nevaeh sees it, places, and people. Nevaeh's father's home seems separate from her and every time she goes back there it gets a little worse.
The ending leaves things slightly unfinished for Nevaeh and her father, but definitely in a more solid place with her mother, aunt, grandfather, and cousins.
"Color Me In" has a young adult character that I think some readers will definitely enjoy. We follow 15 year old Nevaeh Levitz who is dealing with the fall out of her parents separation. She and her mother are living with her mother's relatives in Harlem while her mother tries to move forward. Nevaeh feels trapped between the world she came from (rich and affluent) and where she starts to feel more comfortable with her black relatives in Harlem and starts putting together the pieces of her mother's history. Diaz gets into colorism, being biracial, racism, Judaism, and first love. I think she does a great job juggling all of this, though at times parts of Nevaeh's journey feels a little forced.
Nevaeh feels like a person split in two. Though she's biracial (Jewish and African America) she is still seen as a white girl living with her relatives in Harlem. Her mother and father have separated with Nevaeh feeling lost due to her father being gone for two months while her mother sinks further into depression. Nevaeh is finally getting to know her aunt, uncle, and three cousins. We slowly find out that Nevaeh's father kept her mother from seeing her relatives and there definitely seems to be subtle and not subtle signs of racism coming from him. And we get to see how Nevaeh finds out more about where she came from (on her mother's side) and how she's not just one thing.
The secondary characters were developed well though I thought that Nevaeh's father was just a hot mess. I wish that Diaz had delved more into the father's actions because it was heavily implied he looked down upon his wife's blackness, but no one came right out and called his behavior racist. You can see why Nevaeh's mother is depressed and realizing how she gave up her sense of self (a black woman who was a child of immigrants) to marry a rich man who wanted her to deny that part of herself in order to fit in.
We also have Diaz including a Rabbi (Rabbi Sarah) who starts to teach Nevaeh more about Judaism and prepares her for her Bat Mitzvah. I did find Rabbi Sarah to be a little unorthodox though with how she talks to Nevaeh. I just once again don't know how realistic that would be with an adult and a 15 year old.
I thought that Diaz's relationship with her aunt was quite realistic and I felt pangs for Nevaeh trying to fit in with her cousins and the constant rejection from one of them.
I thought the writing was sharp in places, but honestly the way that Nevaeh and her cousins speak though sounded way too old. Not that all teens run around speaking broken grammar, it just sounded like they were making too many speeches. For example, when Nevaeh goes back to her school and addresses the principal and other adults. I just felt like it was too try hard in that moment. Also incorporating some of Nevaeh's writing/poetry wrecked the flow for me at times. I also thought including Nevaeh's mother's diary tripped things up a bit too.
The setting of Harlem came alive based on how Nevaeh sees it, places, and people. Nevaeh's father's home seems separate from her and every time she goes back there it gets a little worse.
The ending leaves things slightly unfinished for Nevaeh and her father, but definitely in a more solid place with her mother, aunt, grandfather, and cousins.
September 24, 2018
COLOR ME IN is rhythm. Music. Poetry. It's a thrumming in your chest, a pulse in your veins. Diaz's words reveal the power of Nevaeh, a young woman torn between two worlds, not knowing who she is or where she fits in, as she fights against the privilege that comes with her skin. It's filled with strong female characters who challenge Navaeh's sense of normalcy, and young males who prove that societal expectations are wrong when it comes to men of color. As Nevaeh learns about her Jewish faith from her father's side, and her Baptist faith from her mother's side, she also catches a glimpse into the reasons behind her parents' crumbling marriage as she reads through her mother's old journal.
COLOR ME IN is a poignant, important story filled with faith and family that will challenge your experiences in every way as you read. Highly, highly recommend.
COLOR ME IN is a poignant, important story filled with faith and family that will challenge your experiences in every way as you read. Highly, highly recommend.
February 11, 2021
This was beautifully complex, nuanced, and real
August 26, 2019
I have a few thoughts about this book. I really loved the narrative of a young woman, black and Jewish, learning to find her place in the world, her school, her family, her friends. I loved learning about Neveah's rich world, illustrated by Diaz's lush language. I loved the nuanced look at race and at colorism, the way different people are treated within an ethnic community, based on color.
Bahni Turpin is one of my favorite narrators, and she brought a lot of passion to this recording. There were, however, quite a bit of words in Hebrew that were mispronounced pretty badly. I wish more care and attention could have been paid to that aspect.
I realize this story is based on the author's life as a high schooler, and the author's note lends a lot more nuance to issues of Jewishness, especially in terms of her experience being both Jewish and a POC, but the book portrays Jewishness and Judaism in a pretty negative light. First, it's often cast as a "white" counterpoint to blackness, something those at Charlottesville would understand not to be true. The whole culture is made to seem stilted, unusual, out of place and time, the women as pushy harpies, the main man, her dad, as a good lawyer, but also pretty heartless, falling making decisions based on lust rather than love, pretty often. It's really really bad. Not saying this wasn't her reality, or an enhanced version of her reality, but it really isn't helpful in an era of renewed anti semitism, and a time when Jews and POC are under threat from a common enemy, the rise of fascism and white nationalism in American and abroad.
Bahni Turpin is one of my favorite narrators, and she brought a lot of passion to this recording. There were, however, quite a bit of words in Hebrew that were mispronounced pretty badly. I wish more care and attention could have been paid to that aspect.
I realize this story is based on the author's life as a high schooler, and the author's note lends a lot more nuance to issues of Jewishness, especially in terms of her experience being both Jewish and a POC, but the book portrays Jewishness and Judaism in a pretty negative light. First, it's often cast as a "white" counterpoint to blackness, something those at Charlottesville would understand not to be true. The whole culture is made to seem stilted, unusual, out of place and time, the women as pushy harpies, the main man, her dad, as a good lawyer, but also pretty heartless, falling making decisions based on lust rather than love, pretty often. It's really really bad. Not saying this wasn't her reality, or an enhanced version of her reality, but it really isn't helpful in an era of renewed anti semitism, and a time when Jews and POC are under threat from a common enemy, the rise of fascism and white nationalism in American and abroad.
May 22, 2019
The story's a good coming of age tale, asking readers to respect boundaries and understand that labels cause more harm than good. The main character requires a good deal of space to figure what she wants and how her voice will handle society on her own terms. While slow sometimes, I would recommend this story to those seeking validation in a world offering little.
September 8, 2019
Sixteen year old biracial Nevaeh Levitz grew up in a upscale suburb of NYC but when her Jewish father and Black mother separate, she is forced to move into her mother's family home. Facing an identity crisis, Nevaeh forges on, trying to make sense of life and figuring out her place in the world. Although Natasha Diaz cleverly addresses multiple and very relevant topics such as racism, religion, sexual assault, poverty, and discrimination in this somewhat autobiographic debut novel, I was unmoved by this story. There was no real plot line and many of the characters were flat and stereotyped. FAR FROM THE TREE by Robin Benway would be a better choice.
April 9, 2018
I all but stood up and cheered when I got to the end of this book about a teenage girl coming of age in circumstances that were infinitely relatable to me, having grown up in a blended, multicultural family.
Nevaeh processes trauma, navigates her identity, comes to terms with her own privilege, and discovers a sense of self all in the midst of a narrative that will have you laughing and crying (sometimes at the same time).
This is courageous story-telling and I can’t wait to read more from Natasha Diaz in the future.
Nevaeh processes trauma, navigates her identity, comes to terms with her own privilege, and discovers a sense of self all in the midst of a narrative that will have you laughing and crying (sometimes at the same time).
This is courageous story-telling and I can’t wait to read more from Natasha Diaz in the future.
January 24, 2020
A wonderful multiracial story working through coming-of-age knocks and bumps while discovering and uncovering the depth of who you are ... The best lesson learned , “......you only receive what you are open to, and you are only open to what you believe you deserve.”
PopSugar 2020 - Book with 3 word Title.....
PopSugar 2020 - Book with 3 word Title.....
April 26, 2021
I received Color Me In in one of my many book of the month boxes. I was surprised that I never found the time to actually dive into the book until today. Which, man, it was so good that I'm really disappointed in myself for waiting so long.
In it, you will meet Nevaeh. She is biracial and lives in New York City. Things start to change for her once her parents split up. Mostly because she moves with her mom to Harlem to live with her mom's family. This move alone was interesting since she didn't really know her mom's side of the family that well. It just takes a while for everyone to get on board, mainly one of her cousins, with this idea due to her skin color.
On top of all that, her dad is pushing for her to embrace her Jewish side and have a bat mitzvah. Better late than never, I guess? It just sucks donkey balls that her dad has already moved on from her mother to his horrible secretary.
Ugh, Ashley - I was not a fan of hers one bit. I was hoping that her dad would realize how horrible she was and leave her but it never happened. It's okay though, he can have his new family and cheat on Ashley in the near future. He never could keep it in his pants so I wont be surprised by him having affairs on the new wife.
In the end, I'm really happy that she got closer to her mom's side of the family and embrace who she is and her religion. This was an interesting and fun book to dive into. I loved all the Harry Potter references and almost choked on my tea when I heard "I don't care what anyone says - Hermione is black." I died and I loved it.
In it, you will meet Nevaeh. She is biracial and lives in New York City. Things start to change for her once her parents split up. Mostly because she moves with her mom to Harlem to live with her mom's family. This move alone was interesting since she didn't really know her mom's side of the family that well. It just takes a while for everyone to get on board, mainly one of her cousins, with this idea due to her skin color.
On top of all that, her dad is pushing for her to embrace her Jewish side and have a bat mitzvah. Better late than never, I guess? It just sucks donkey balls that her dad has already moved on from her mother to his horrible secretary.
Ugh, Ashley - I was not a fan of hers one bit. I was hoping that her dad would realize how horrible she was and leave her but it never happened. It's okay though, he can have his new family and cheat on Ashley in the near future. He never could keep it in his pants so I wont be surprised by him having affairs on the new wife.
In the end, I'm really happy that she got closer to her mom's side of the family and embrace who she is and her religion. This was an interesting and fun book to dive into. I loved all the Harry Potter references and almost choked on my tea when I heard "I don't care what anyone says - Hermione is black." I died and I loved it.
October 17, 2019
Wow I finished a book!
and i didnt love it. (wow love that for me).
Why this book, that I was supper excited for, didn't amaze me:
1. THIS BOOK WAS IN DESPERATE NEED OF TRANSITIONS. I'm talking transitions inbetween paragraphs, scenes, and chapters. This book is super choppy to read as you are abruptly thrown into scenes. It lacks clarity and suffers because of it.
2. The plot of this book is a whirlwind, but not in a good way. My jaw dropped to the ground at quite a few scenes that were so outrageous (looking at you birthday party invitation) that it really dragged the book down. They made no sense for the plot or for characters and I'm still baffled.
3. The characters of this book are not teenagers in the modern age. Okay what I mean by this is this book is obviously written by someone who is not currently in high school, or was with the last few year. (LITERALLY I HAVE NEVER TALKED ABOUT HARRY POTTER WITH ANYONE I JUST MET. HARRY POTTER IS NOT A PERSONALITY TRAIT SORRY THIS A HOT TAKE MENIALS BUT I'M SICK OF SEEING ALLUSIONS TO HARRY POTTER BOOKS ALL OF THE PLACE IN YA. I GET IT IS GOOD BUT THERE IS SOLID 1000000000000 BOOKS OUT THERE AND HARRY POTTER ISN'T THIS UNHEARD OF GEM.)
4. The bully is a horribly written mean girl character. She lacks any depth.
5. The book shouldn't have had the poetry. This is a very subjective claim, I get that, but the poetry to me was at a considerably lesser level than the prose. The poems were choppy (doing that Rupi Kaur thing) but also overly vague that they were a struggle to get through.
I so wanted to love this book, but sadly it just was riddled with things that annoy me.
If you want to read it of course do it! You don't have to take my word for it because you could love it.
and i didnt love it. (wow love that for me).
Why this book, that I was supper excited for, didn't amaze me:
1. THIS BOOK WAS IN DESPERATE NEED OF TRANSITIONS. I'm talking transitions inbetween paragraphs, scenes, and chapters. This book is super choppy to read as you are abruptly thrown into scenes. It lacks clarity and suffers because of it.
2. The plot of this book is a whirlwind, but not in a good way. My jaw dropped to the ground at quite a few scenes that were so outrageous (looking at you birthday party invitation) that it really dragged the book down. They made no sense for the plot or for characters and I'm still baffled.
3. The characters of this book are not teenagers in the modern age. Okay what I mean by this is this book is obviously written by someone who is not currently in high school, or was with the last few year. (LITERALLY I HAVE NEVER TALKED ABOUT HARRY POTTER WITH ANYONE I JUST MET. HARRY POTTER IS NOT A PERSONALITY TRAIT SORRY THIS A HOT TAKE MENIALS BUT I'M SICK OF SEEING ALLUSIONS TO HARRY POTTER BOOKS ALL OF THE PLACE IN YA. I GET IT IS GOOD BUT THERE IS SOLID 1000000000000 BOOKS OUT THERE AND HARRY POTTER ISN'T THIS UNHEARD OF GEM.)
4. The bully is a horribly written mean girl character. She lacks any depth.
5. The book shouldn't have had the poetry. This is a very subjective claim, I get that, but the poetry to me was at a considerably lesser level than the prose. The poems were choppy (doing that Rupi Kaur thing) but also overly vague that they were a struggle to get through.
I so wanted to love this book, but sadly it just was riddled with things that annoy me.
If you want to read it of course do it! You don't have to take my word for it because you could love it.
February 26, 2021
"If there is one thing I've learned, it is that you only receive what you are open to, and you are only open to what you believe you deserve."
Color Me In is an engrossing slice-of-life YA contemporary that follows Nevaeh as she deals with her parents' divorce and her move from the suburbs into Harlem with her mother. There are a lot of storylines but I thought they were all balanced really well. Each got a satisfying conclusion and they often intersected -- such as the way Nevaeh's journey to better understand her identity impacted both her relationships with her family and her best friend, Stevie. I loved the writing and the fact that there were a lot of well-rounded characters in the story.
C/W:
Color Me In is an engrossing slice-of-life YA contemporary that follows Nevaeh as she deals with her parents' divorce and her move from the suburbs into Harlem with her mother. There are a lot of storylines but I thought they were all balanced really well. Each got a satisfying conclusion and they often intersected -- such as the way Nevaeh's journey to better understand her identity impacted both her relationships with her family and her best friend, Stevie. I loved the writing and the fact that there were a lot of well-rounded characters in the story.
C/W:
August 12, 2019
4/5 stars!
ARC provided by the publisher and Netgalley in exchange for an honest review
You know when you read those contemporaries that you don't expect to relate to on a heart aching level, but they just surprise you in so many ways? That was Color Me In for me.
I requested this book from Netgalley for 1. that beautiful cover and 2. because I think it is important to keep my reading diverse and read ownvoices stories from many different kinds of people. Color Me In follows a mixed race Jewish-African American girl in high school who's parents have just separated. The book is about her journey finding where she fits in in all the different aspects of her life, coming to terms with her parents not being exactly who she thought they were, friendship, and first love.
I was hooked on this story from the very beginning. I've never experienced a lot of the things Nevaeh experiences in this book, but I immediately related to her problems with her parents. I don't think I have ever read a book about someone who's parents are currently going through a divorce and it just continued to pull at my heart strings in a very validating way. We love getting validation from books. That was, of course, not the only thing I adored about this book.
I cannot believe this was a debut. The writing was just absolutely exquisite. It had such a good pace and I loved the way the chapters were set up. There was always something happening in the plot. Sometimes it felt like there was so much at once, but I thought it was done very well and that is very realistic for the mind of a high school girl. My only issue with this book is I felt the main antagonists were a bit too one note and could have been fleshed out a little more. Sometimes these high school girls just felt like super villains and I think some more development from those characters would have been amazing to the plot.
Overall, I just really loved this book and I highly recommend it.
ARC provided by the publisher and Netgalley in exchange for an honest review
You know when you read those contemporaries that you don't expect to relate to on a heart aching level, but they just surprise you in so many ways? That was Color Me In for me.
I requested this book from Netgalley for 1. that beautiful cover and 2. because I think it is important to keep my reading diverse and read ownvoices stories from many different kinds of people. Color Me In follows a mixed race Jewish-African American girl in high school who's parents have just separated. The book is about her journey finding where she fits in in all the different aspects of her life, coming to terms with her parents not being exactly who she thought they were, friendship, and first love.
I was hooked on this story from the very beginning. I've never experienced a lot of the things Nevaeh experiences in this book, but I immediately related to her problems with her parents. I don't think I have ever read a book about someone who's parents are currently going through a divorce and it just continued to pull at my heart strings in a very validating way. We love getting validation from books. That was, of course, not the only thing I adored about this book.
I cannot believe this was a debut. The writing was just absolutely exquisite. It had such a good pace and I loved the way the chapters were set up. There was always something happening in the plot. Sometimes it felt like there was so much at once, but I thought it was done very well and that is very realistic for the mind of a high school girl. My only issue with this book is I felt the main antagonists were a bit too one note and could have been fleshed out a little more. Sometimes these high school girls just felt like super villains and I think some more development from those characters would have been amazing to the plot.
Overall, I just really loved this book and I highly recommend it.
August 26, 2019
This is definitely going to be one of the best books I've read this year. There was so much to this story, things that if you aren't in that situation, you have no idea about what really happens. Knowing that the author grew up with this type of life totally made this stand out so much for me. But not only was it a really deep look at that, it totally was a teenager's story. First off, as much as Nevaeh was going through herself, she soon had to realize that she wasn't the only one going through things. Her friends were; her family, including her cousins, mother, aunt, uncle, grandpa, were all going through stuff. And not just them, but even people like her rabbi that was helping her go through to get ready for her bat mitzvah. There was also poetry in the book, poetry that the main character was fitting to her current feelings and situation. Nevaeh also found her mother's diary, and for her to see what led up to her mom and dad getting together, as well as what her mom dealt with as a teenager was so perfect for this story.
Review first appeared on Lisa Loves Literature.
Personally, at my age, it really stood out to me that now we have stories about teenagers who their parents were young when 9/11 happened. As someone who was a teacher at the time, that really makes me feel even older. But reminds me of all the things that I hear my parents talk about that I wasn't alive for, but that was such a major event in their lives.
Review first appeared on Lisa Loves Literature.
Personally, at my age, it really stood out to me that now we have stories about teenagers who their parents were young when 9/11 happened. As someone who was a teacher at the time, that really makes me feel even older. But reminds me of all the things that I hear my parents talk about that I wasn't alive for, but that was such a major event in their lives.
July 23, 2019
Color Me In by Natasha Diaz follows 16 year-old year old Nevaeh Levitz, who is spending her time between her White Jewish dad and her Black Baptist mom, Naveah is having a difficult time dealing with her parents separation and embracing the two parts of her world that makes her whole.
From my personal experience I’ve seen biracial kids struggle with identity and if it’s not addressed at early age it really can become overwhelming.
Because of her skin completion Nevaeh can easily pass for White, and when her cousin Jordan experiences a run in with authority, Nevaeh recognizes how much privilege she has and in turns uses that to fight for whats right.
Now this wouldn’t be a YA without some romance. Nevaeh falls for a Dominican boy named Jesus and the love they have for each other is really cute. For you non romance fans this wasn’t overwhelming gross. Lol
This YA really wow’d me. Its thought-provoking, the writing is poetic, and the topics of privilege, faith and race were very well executed. This is truly an amazing debut and I am very interested to see what the author puts out in the future.
Thank you, Netgally & Delacorte Publishing, for this advanced copy in exchange for an honest review. 4 out of 5 Stars
From my personal experience I’ve seen biracial kids struggle with identity and if it’s not addressed at early age it really can become overwhelming.
Because of her skin completion Nevaeh can easily pass for White, and when her cousin Jordan experiences a run in with authority, Nevaeh recognizes how much privilege she has and in turns uses that to fight for whats right.
Now this wouldn’t be a YA without some romance. Nevaeh falls for a Dominican boy named Jesus and the love they have for each other is really cute. For you non romance fans this wasn’t overwhelming gross. Lol
This YA really wow’d me. Its thought-provoking, the writing is poetic, and the topics of privilege, faith and race were very well executed. This is truly an amazing debut and I am very interested to see what the author puts out in the future.
Thank you, Netgally & Delacorte Publishing, for this advanced copy in exchange for an honest review. 4 out of 5 Stars
August 4, 2019
This is an OWNVOICES book, everyone!!!
I flew right through COLOR ME IN. I even forgot to eat at one point and I wondered why I felt so weak. This is a story mixed-race girl learning where she fits in. We navigate through two different cultures as our protagonist as she wanders through heartbreak and joy. This book pulled me into Naveah's world. We really see how she grows. This book is definitely going to change its readers. A great debut of 2019!!
I flew right through COLOR ME IN. I even forgot to eat at one point and I wondered why I felt so weak. This is a story mixed-race girl learning where she fits in. We navigate through two different cultures as our protagonist as she wanders through heartbreak and joy. This book pulled me into Naveah's world. We really see how she grows. This book is definitely going to change its readers. A great debut of 2019!!
January 22, 2020
Oh boy, I have so much to say about this one that I had to actually turn on the computer to write it out. Anyway here we go.
I got this book back last August from Book of the Month's YA subscription box. I was drawn in by the premise, a girl caught between two worlds-- One cultural and one religious. Sounds great.
Soon after getting it, I tried reading it immediately. But I soon fell into a depression and reading slump and had a hard time picking up books during that time. So I set the book aside.
Fast forward to January 2020, I am participating in the Get Shit Done Readathon and one of the prompts was to read a book that you had put down. So I immediately thought to grab this, seeing as it was my only BOTM left over from 2019. Read it in January and start over fresh with just 2020 BOTMs moving forward.
Now that we're done with the backstory, let's move into the actual review.
This book is about Navaeh Levitz, a 15 year old girl whom is half black on her mother's side and half Jewish on her father's side. Again, the premise about a girl be caught between these two different worlds drew me in.
And while that is part of the plot, it gets weighed down by a lot of problems the book had in my opinion. The part involving Navaeh exploring both her Jewish faith and Jamaican culture were interesting. I enjoyed her talks with Rabbi Sarah. As someone whom is neither Jewish nor black, I cannot speak on either representation in the story. And seeing as the author herself is black and Jewish, I can imagine that she knows what she is talking about.
No, my problem comes from the characters. Which were more or less reduced to stereotypes without much nuance to them.
Let's start with her cousins.
Jerry, is coded in descriptors that reek of fatphobia. He barrels into the room at one point. He grew horizontal instead of vertical. He's always hungry. The amount of food he can eat is joked about constantly.
Jordan and Janae are basically the same person but one of them is nice to Navaeh and the other is not. Jordan is an activist and also exists as an antagonist to Navaeh on her mom's side of the story. I suppose she's supposed to balance out Abby, the mean girl but she doesn't because Abby never gets a side to her mean-ness.
Since, I've already mention Abby, let's talk about her. Abby is the Mean Girl of the story which is trope I'm pretty sure we should've done away with already. There's a stark difference between a bully, which exist in the real world and mean girls which exist only in Hollywood teen movies. Abby was raised by an alcoholic mother whom stays in her unhappy marriage because money and a rich, racist man whom funds the school so his daughter can do whatever she wants. OF COURSE. I half expected the story to give Abby a small redemption at the end. Abby is secretly gay, or is seeing someone of another race... Maybe even made it that she had a thing for Navaeh's best friend. Stevie whom is half Asian. I mean, if we were getting the Mean Girl trope, can we at least get the Mean Girl is actually misunderstood trope as well. Nope. The book ends with Abby being mean, staying mean and never atoning for being mean. But her dad gets yelled at for being racist and isn't allowed to sue the main character because reasons.
Moving on, we have Stevie, Navaeh's obligatory only friend. He is half Asian, father doesn't care about him, mother is dead and wants to go to a dance academy. I expected him to be the gay best friend but it turns out he was straight and has a thing for Jordan, the mean cousin. Jordan ignores him/is straight up disgusted by him for 90% of the book but then he gives her friends attention instead of her in one of the last chapters and all of sudden she looks mad. There's multiple points in the story where Navaeh is conflicted between being a good friend to Stevie and being mad that he wants to leave her behind for his dance program. This results in her being a shitty friend whom ditches him, is never there for him, tries to lie about being there and ignores him. But the times that she does put their friendship first like on New Year's Eve instead of going to a party with Jesus and her cousins, Stevie gets mad at her for not telling him about the party. All because he has a thing for Jordan and doesn't want to be a virgin forever. By the end of the book they both apologize for being shitty friends but I could've cared less.
Next is Jesus, the love interest. The moment we first meet him which is like chapter three, he asks if he can kiss her which he does. We are also introduced to him by Janae whom mentions that Jordan has a thing for him all summer. That right there should've maybe given Navaeh the hint to not encourage his attention. I'd make comment on the fact that he calls her "Lightskin" for almost the entire book until she randomly snaps at him to stop and he does. It's never brought up again after that but I don't fell comfortable discussing that part, seeing as I am white and do not face colorism or other racist issues. Eventually Jesus and Navaeh just begin dating despite having no chemistry. This lack of chemistry is brought up later when Jesus finds out that Navaeh yelled about her dad being dead. He rants to her about not getting to know him and making everything about herself or some bullshit but the narrative up until that point had nothing to do with Jesus and Navaeh getting to know each other. It was just him showing up in random places and inviting her to parties. The story can't put his lack of development on the main character and make it a conflict when there is nothing to support that.
And lastly we have her parents, Corinne and Samuel.
The plot centers around their separation which has left Corinne depressed and bedridden, which is a trope I've seen too many times. Can we stop the narrative that when a man leaves a woman, a woman falls apart? Especially if that woman has a child to take care. The separation was caused by the fact that Corinne caught Samuel cheating on her with his secretary (we'll get to her in a minute). Her dad happens to also be a big shot lawyer with lots of money and has always been a shitty person. We find out through Corinne's journal (an unforeseen mechanic thrown into the story but was not mentioned in the synopsis) that Samuel cheated on them before but was able to manipulate her into getting back at him. Now, there is nothing wrong with one of the parents being shitty but in a story about a girl whom is supposed to be torn between two worlds... Making one of the sides shitty doesn't make that side of the plot make sense. So when she begins enjoying her time with Rabbi Sarah, and learning Hebrew and even mentions that she was looking forward to having a Bat Mitzvah, it seems strange because the person making her do those things is her father but the entire plot is shown making him a villain, he is the main antagonist. He ruined her mother, he ruined her life and he's selfish. So why does it matter that he wants her to have a Bat Mitzvah, unless it was supposed to be weaponized against her mother, if that was the case, it could've been done differently.
And that is speaking as a child of divorce. Parents are master of manipulating their child and turning them against the other parent. And I mean, the fact that the dad couldn't properly manipulate Navaeh as well as the reader contradicts that fact that he's suppose to be some really great lawyer. Lawyers are master of manipulating and lying but he doesn't do that.
Which circles back around the why the plot suffered. Because the premise was not expanded upon. Instead we had all these smaller subplots with her friend, and love interest and poetry and her cousins.
But before we got into what I think would've made the plot good, first we need to briefly discuss the most cartoonish of the "antagonists", Ashleigh. The 27 year old, blonde secretary that Navaeh's father cheats on her mother with. She's racist, kind of ditzy, follows weird food diets and uses her body to get things her way. Every scene where the woman spoke, I found myself rolling my eyes and being yanked out of the story because the book must've been fucking joking. She was not the smallest bit convincing when it came to being a antagonist. And also, why did she need to be? And eventually I fall down the rabbit hole of questions of why the father had to cheat? People break up for other reasons. But it had to be the most dramatic and stereotypical reason.
So back to the plot, the plot suffers because most of characters are not believable as people. But the plot also suffers because it doesn't focus on Navaeh's relationship towards her parents and thus these two halves of herself. Her father being painted as the Bad Guy makes the Jewish storyline disingenuous. Why should Navaeh care about her father wanting her to have a Bat Mitzvah if he's just a horrible person? And more importantly, why should the reader care? Her mother is bedridden for most of the book, depressed over her husband cheating. Which to an extent is believable but makes Navaeh connecting with her culture and race and mother's family seem more like her mother just threw her to wolves. Her mother is not present in the story which is why the plot NEEDED the journal entries from when she was in college, so we had some idea about who this woman was supposed to be and thus feel sorry for her. But I didn't because she wasn't being a good mother to her daughter.
I wish the story had centered around her parents breaking up, not because someone cheated but because they fell out of love. So Navaeh with her mother to live with her maternal side whom she has had almost no contact with over her entire life. Her mother now without her husband and the defining role of being his wife has to find herself over again and in the process has to reconnect with her daughter whom has had her whole life uprooted. But then she has to see father whom suddenly wants her to have a Bat Mitzvah because she never got to have one. Make it where the dad suppressed his religion because of the mom, and the mom repressed her culture because of the dad. And now that they are separated, they want to share both with their daughter but in the process it is pulling her in two directions. Or at least, that's how I would've done it. But alas I did not.
And now that I have gotten all of my actual complaints out, it's time for bonus nitpick round:
- There were 8 (I counted) Harry Potter references, in a story that had nothing to do with Harry Potter. There was no correlation between Navaeh's problem and the characters in Harry Potter. Or even a memory attached to the books. They were just referenced and it was supposed to come off as cute and quirky parts of personality.
- The poems were sometimes being written, and sometimes she was just thinking them. Which kept taking me out of the story. Because reading a poem versus normal prose is starkly different tone.
- I've already mentioned that journal entries were only there to give her mother some personality because the plot called for her to not be there. But the journals were also sporadic. They didn't get whole chapters dedicated to them, they were just thrown in. And they were conveniently all about how her mother was sexually assaulted as a teenager and how that lack of trust led her to become easily manipulated by the Bad Guy that is Navaeh's father.
- One of the non-Harry Potter references she makes is a Beauty and the Beast reference. She mentions that her school library reminds her of the "magical book room" that the Beast gives to Belle. I'm sorry... Did we watch the same movie? What magical book room? Do you... do you mean, a LIBRARY?! The Beast gave Belle a library because he learned that she loved to read. It was the turning point of the story, the first selfless act the Beast does. The room wasn't magical, it was a library.
Anyway, the end this lengthy rant and go read something more enjoyable, I really had hoped to like this book but it just wasn't for me. The characters brought the story down which inevitably effected the plot.
EDIT:
Decided to bump this up to three stars because I felt bad for judging it so harshly as a debut. I stand by my gripes with it but I know a first novel is never perfect.
Three stars.
I got this book back last August from Book of the Month's YA subscription box. I was drawn in by the premise, a girl caught between two worlds-- One cultural and one religious. Sounds great.
Soon after getting it, I tried reading it immediately. But I soon fell into a depression and reading slump and had a hard time picking up books during that time. So I set the book aside.
Fast forward to January 2020, I am participating in the Get Shit Done Readathon and one of the prompts was to read a book that you had put down. So I immediately thought to grab this, seeing as it was my only BOTM left over from 2019. Read it in January and start over fresh with just 2020 BOTMs moving forward.
Now that we're done with the backstory, let's move into the actual review.
This book is about Navaeh Levitz, a 15 year old girl whom is half black on her mother's side and half Jewish on her father's side. Again, the premise about a girl be caught between these two different worlds drew me in.
And while that is part of the plot, it gets weighed down by a lot of problems the book had in my opinion. The part involving Navaeh exploring both her Jewish faith and Jamaican culture were interesting. I enjoyed her talks with Rabbi Sarah. As someone whom is neither Jewish nor black, I cannot speak on either representation in the story. And seeing as the author herself is black and Jewish, I can imagine that she knows what she is talking about.
No, my problem comes from the characters. Which were more or less reduced to stereotypes without much nuance to them.
Let's start with her cousins.
Jerry, is coded in descriptors that reek of fatphobia. He barrels into the room at one point. He grew horizontal instead of vertical. He's always hungry. The amount of food he can eat is joked about constantly.
Jordan and Janae are basically the same person but one of them is nice to Navaeh and the other is not. Jordan is an activist and also exists as an antagonist to Navaeh on her mom's side of the story. I suppose she's supposed to balance out Abby, the mean girl but she doesn't because Abby never gets a side to her mean-ness.
Since, I've already mention Abby, let's talk about her. Abby is the Mean Girl of the story which is trope I'm pretty sure we should've done away with already. There's a stark difference between a bully, which exist in the real world and mean girls which exist only in Hollywood teen movies. Abby was raised by an alcoholic mother whom stays in her unhappy marriage because money and a rich, racist man whom funds the school so his daughter can do whatever she wants. OF COURSE. I half expected the story to give Abby a small redemption at the end. Abby is secretly gay, or is seeing someone of another race... Maybe even made it that she had a thing for Navaeh's best friend. Stevie whom is half Asian. I mean, if we were getting the Mean Girl trope, can we at least get the Mean Girl is actually misunderstood trope as well. Nope. The book ends with Abby being mean, staying mean and never atoning for being mean. But her dad gets yelled at for being racist and isn't allowed to sue the main character because reasons.
Moving on, we have Stevie, Navaeh's obligatory only friend. He is half Asian, father doesn't care about him, mother is dead and wants to go to a dance academy. I expected him to be the gay best friend but it turns out he was straight and has a thing for Jordan, the mean cousin. Jordan ignores him/is straight up disgusted by him for 90% of the book but then he gives her friends attention instead of her in one of the last chapters and all of sudden she looks mad. There's multiple points in the story where Navaeh is conflicted between being a good friend to Stevie and being mad that he wants to leave her behind for his dance program. This results in her being a shitty friend whom ditches him, is never there for him, tries to lie about being there and ignores him. But the times that she does put their friendship first like on New Year's Eve instead of going to a party with Jesus and her cousins, Stevie gets mad at her for not telling him about the party. All because he has a thing for Jordan and doesn't want to be a virgin forever. By the end of the book they both apologize for being shitty friends but I could've cared less.
Next is Jesus, the love interest. The moment we first meet him which is like chapter three, he asks if he can kiss her which he does. We are also introduced to him by Janae whom mentions that Jordan has a thing for him all summer. That right there should've maybe given Navaeh the hint to not encourage his attention. I'd make comment on the fact that he calls her "Lightskin" for almost the entire book until she randomly snaps at him to stop and he does. It's never brought up again after that but I don't fell comfortable discussing that part, seeing as I am white and do not face colorism or other racist issues. Eventually Jesus and Navaeh just begin dating despite having no chemistry. This lack of chemistry is brought up later when Jesus finds out that Navaeh yelled about her dad being dead. He rants to her about not getting to know him and making everything about herself or some bullshit but the narrative up until that point had nothing to do with Jesus and Navaeh getting to know each other. It was just him showing up in random places and inviting her to parties. The story can't put his lack of development on the main character and make it a conflict when there is nothing to support that.
And lastly we have her parents, Corinne and Samuel.
The plot centers around their separation which has left Corinne depressed and bedridden, which is a trope I've seen too many times. Can we stop the narrative that when a man leaves a woman, a woman falls apart? Especially if that woman has a child to take care. The separation was caused by the fact that Corinne caught Samuel cheating on her with his secretary (we'll get to her in a minute). Her dad happens to also be a big shot lawyer with lots of money and has always been a shitty person. We find out through Corinne's journal (an unforeseen mechanic thrown into the story but was not mentioned in the synopsis) that Samuel cheated on them before but was able to manipulate her into getting back at him. Now, there is nothing wrong with one of the parents being shitty but in a story about a girl whom is supposed to be torn between two worlds... Making one of the sides shitty doesn't make that side of the plot make sense. So when she begins enjoying her time with Rabbi Sarah, and learning Hebrew and even mentions that she was looking forward to having a Bat Mitzvah, it seems strange because the person making her do those things is her father but the entire plot is shown making him a villain, he is the main antagonist. He ruined her mother, he ruined her life and he's selfish. So why does it matter that he wants her to have a Bat Mitzvah, unless it was supposed to be weaponized against her mother, if that was the case, it could've been done differently.
And that is speaking as a child of divorce. Parents are master of manipulating their child and turning them against the other parent. And I mean, the fact that the dad couldn't properly manipulate Navaeh as well as the reader contradicts that fact that he's suppose to be some really great lawyer. Lawyers are master of manipulating and lying but he doesn't do that.
Which circles back around the why the plot suffered. Because the premise was not expanded upon. Instead we had all these smaller subplots with her friend, and love interest and poetry and her cousins.
But before we got into what I think would've made the plot good, first we need to briefly discuss the most cartoonish of the "antagonists", Ashleigh. The 27 year old, blonde secretary that Navaeh's father cheats on her mother with. She's racist, kind of ditzy, follows weird food diets and uses her body to get things her way. Every scene where the woman spoke, I found myself rolling my eyes and being yanked out of the story because the book must've been fucking joking. She was not the smallest bit convincing when it came to being a antagonist. And also, why did she need to be? And eventually I fall down the rabbit hole of questions of why the father had to cheat? People break up for other reasons. But it had to be the most dramatic and stereotypical reason.
So back to the plot, the plot suffers because most of characters are not believable as people. But the plot also suffers because it doesn't focus on Navaeh's relationship towards her parents and thus these two halves of herself. Her father being painted as the Bad Guy makes the Jewish storyline disingenuous. Why should Navaeh care about her father wanting her to have a Bat Mitzvah if he's just a horrible person? And more importantly, why should the reader care? Her mother is bedridden for most of the book, depressed over her husband cheating. Which to an extent is believable but makes Navaeh connecting with her culture and race and mother's family seem more like her mother just threw her to wolves. Her mother is not present in the story which is why the plot NEEDED the journal entries from when she was in college, so we had some idea about who this woman was supposed to be and thus feel sorry for her. But I didn't because she wasn't being a good mother to her daughter.
I wish the story had centered around her parents breaking up, not because someone cheated but because they fell out of love. So Navaeh with her mother to live with her maternal side whom she has had almost no contact with over her entire life. Her mother now without her husband and the defining role of being his wife has to find herself over again and in the process has to reconnect with her daughter whom has had her whole life uprooted. But then she has to see father whom suddenly wants her to have a Bat Mitzvah because she never got to have one. Make it where the dad suppressed his religion because of the mom, and the mom repressed her culture because of the dad. And now that they are separated, they want to share both with their daughter but in the process it is pulling her in two directions. Or at least, that's how I would've done it. But alas I did not.
And now that I have gotten all of my actual complaints out, it's time for bonus nitpick round:
- There were 8 (I counted) Harry Potter references, in a story that had nothing to do with Harry Potter. There was no correlation between Navaeh's problem and the characters in Harry Potter. Or even a memory attached to the books. They were just referenced and it was supposed to come off as cute and quirky parts of personality.
- The poems were sometimes being written, and sometimes she was just thinking them. Which kept taking me out of the story. Because reading a poem versus normal prose is starkly different tone.
- I've already mentioned that journal entries were only there to give her mother some personality because the plot called for her to not be there. But the journals were also sporadic. They didn't get whole chapters dedicated to them, they were just thrown in. And they were conveniently all about how her mother was sexually assaulted as a teenager and how that lack of trust led her to become easily manipulated by the Bad Guy that is Navaeh's father.
- One of the non-Harry Potter references she makes is a Beauty and the Beast reference. She mentions that her school library reminds her of the "magical book room" that the Beast gives to Belle. I'm sorry... Did we watch the same movie? What magical book room? Do you... do you mean, a LIBRARY?! The Beast gave Belle a library because he learned that she loved to read. It was the turning point of the story, the first selfless act the Beast does. The room wasn't magical, it was a library.
Anyway, the end this lengthy rant and go read something more enjoyable, I really had hoped to like this book but it just wasn't for me. The characters brought the story down which inevitably effected the plot.
EDIT:
Decided to bump this up to three stars because I felt bad for judging it so harshly as a debut. I stand by my gripes with it but I know a first novel is never perfect.
Three stars.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 26, 2019
*My review will be up Thursday August 15th on my blog with the post promoted on Twitter. The review will be posted on Goodreads within a week after that.*
Neveah Levitz is still figuring herself out. She's grown up in a wealthy and white suburb of New York City where she's never had much of a chance to explore the fact she's biracial. Because of her light skin she's never really had to. But when her Black mother and Jewish father split up, suddenly Neveah is faced with the clash of the two sides of her identity.
Living with her mother and her mother's family in Harlem, Neveah has to confront the fact that she is half-black despite the fact her cousins seem to think she's too white. She can't relate to the struggle of having dark skin like her cousins do.
As if feeling like she's not enough for one side of herself isn't enough, Neveah's father springs a belated bat mitzvah on her. She has to deal with the humiliation of not having a sweet sixteen and her posh schoolmates thinking less of her because of it.
This would normally make Neveah retreat into her shell, but a series of events helps her find her voice. She discovers her mother's journal, falls in love, and experiences the racism her family faces every day. Except she has a choice now to learn about herself and for her future.
In this YA contemporary, Natasha Diaz draws from her own life experience to weave a beautiful and powerful story. She tackles difficult issues of race, religion and prejudice with sensitivity. And knowing that these are all things the author has faced in her own life just makes this story have even more of an impact.
It is definitely more of a character driven story. This is not my favorite type of book since I usually prefer a strong plot which is why this book was not a complete hit for me. I did enjoy it but if you're someone who enjoys character driven story without a ton of plot then this will be good for you.
Even with a story telling method that is not my favorite, I still found myself compelled to continue this story. Watching Neveah grow and start to figure herself out was great. It felt very true to a girl who's fifteen turning sixteen. She was a teenager and that was apparent. This isn't true to a lot of YA which is why I found this so special and it means I'd recommend it way more for actual teens. But adults can enjoy it, too. I did.
Overall, definitely a debut worth reading. It does tackle some heavy subject matter so be careful before reading this. There's sexual assault, dependent relationships, poverty, racism, bullying, alcoholism and childhood neglect. It's a heavy book at times and if any of these themes may be triggering for you don't hesitate to pass on this. It's a good book, but no book is worth reading if it will trigger you.
Read it if you're up to the material.
4 STARS
Neveah Levitz is still figuring herself out. She's grown up in a wealthy and white suburb of New York City where she's never had much of a chance to explore the fact she's biracial. Because of her light skin she's never really had to. But when her Black mother and Jewish father split up, suddenly Neveah is faced with the clash of the two sides of her identity.
Living with her mother and her mother's family in Harlem, Neveah has to confront the fact that she is half-black despite the fact her cousins seem to think she's too white. She can't relate to the struggle of having dark skin like her cousins do.
As if feeling like she's not enough for one side of herself isn't enough, Neveah's father springs a belated bat mitzvah on her. She has to deal with the humiliation of not having a sweet sixteen and her posh schoolmates thinking less of her because of it.
This would normally make Neveah retreat into her shell, but a series of events helps her find her voice. She discovers her mother's journal, falls in love, and experiences the racism her family faces every day. Except she has a choice now to learn about herself and for her future.
In this YA contemporary, Natasha Diaz draws from her own life experience to weave a beautiful and powerful story. She tackles difficult issues of race, religion and prejudice with sensitivity. And knowing that these are all things the author has faced in her own life just makes this story have even more of an impact.
It is definitely more of a character driven story. This is not my favorite type of book since I usually prefer a strong plot which is why this book was not a complete hit for me. I did enjoy it but if you're someone who enjoys character driven story without a ton of plot then this will be good for you.
Even with a story telling method that is not my favorite, I still found myself compelled to continue this story. Watching Neveah grow and start to figure herself out was great. It felt very true to a girl who's fifteen turning sixteen. She was a teenager and that was apparent. This isn't true to a lot of YA which is why I found this so special and it means I'd recommend it way more for actual teens. But adults can enjoy it, too. I did.
Overall, definitely a debut worth reading. It does tackle some heavy subject matter so be careful before reading this. There's sexual assault, dependent relationships, poverty, racism, bullying, alcoholism and childhood neglect. It's a heavy book at times and if any of these themes may be triggering for you don't hesitate to pass on this. It's a good book, but no book is worth reading if it will trigger you.
Read it if you're up to the material.
4 STARS
August 19, 2019
I was interested in this book, because I have a biracial child. As I read this book, it prompted me to recall a few uncomfortable moments I had experienced myself. For instance, when my daughter was younger, strangers asked me if I went to China to adopt her, and when she was older, she was mistaken for my romantic partner, but it was never assumed that she was my daughter. I can only imagine situations like these being a lot harder on a child, and I was really keen to learn about Diaz's experiences.
The demise her parents' marriage was accompanied by an upheaval in Nevaeh's life. Following the split, she lived with her mother's estranged family, and her new circumstances forced Nevaeh to question who she was and where she belonged.
She had grown up in the suburbs and attended an upper crust prep school, where she was one of the few people of color, but because she was white-passing, she felt like an outsider when she moved to Harlem. Not only was Nevaeh biracial, but she was also pulled in two directions religiously. Her grandfather was the paster of a Baptist church, while her father was Jewish. She seemed to have one foot in several different worlds and didn't feel as though she belonged to any.
Nevaeh's struggle with all these identities were explored deftly by Diaz, and her yearning for someone to claim her as their own just broke my heart. I was pleased that her mother's family were there to support Nevaeh as she navigated this difficult path, and though she encountered a lot of disappointments and harsh realities, she grew and blossomed along the way.
This book tackled many issues such as colorism, racism, mental health, and bullying, but it was Nevaeh and her family who stole my heart.
Nevaeh's mother's family were all so well drawn and served as catalysts and guides for her personal journey. The family scenes ranged from tense to celebratory to humorous, and it was with them supporting her, that Nevaeh made such huge leaps and bounds towards figuring out her complex identity.
Overall: A beautiful and thought-provoking look at one young woman's search to understand who she was, what she believed, and where she belonged.
*ARC provided in exchange for an honest review.
BLOG | INSTAGRAM |TWITTER | BLOGLOVIN | FRIEND ME ON GOODREADS
The demise her parents' marriage was accompanied by an upheaval in Nevaeh's life. Following the split, she lived with her mother's estranged family, and her new circumstances forced Nevaeh to question who she was and where she belonged.
She had grown up in the suburbs and attended an upper crust prep school, where she was one of the few people of color, but because she was white-passing, she felt like an outsider when she moved to Harlem. Not only was Nevaeh biracial, but she was also pulled in two directions religiously. Her grandfather was the paster of a Baptist church, while her father was Jewish. She seemed to have one foot in several different worlds and didn't feel as though she belonged to any.
Nevaeh's struggle with all these identities were explored deftly by Diaz, and her yearning for someone to claim her as their own just broke my heart. I was pleased that her mother's family were there to support Nevaeh as she navigated this difficult path, and though she encountered a lot of disappointments and harsh realities, she grew and blossomed along the way.
This book tackled many issues such as colorism, racism, mental health, and bullying, but it was Nevaeh and her family who stole my heart.
Nevaeh's mother's family were all so well drawn and served as catalysts and guides for her personal journey. The family scenes ranged from tense to celebratory to humorous, and it was with them supporting her, that Nevaeh made such huge leaps and bounds towards figuring out her complex identity.
Overall: A beautiful and thought-provoking look at one young woman's search to understand who she was, what she believed, and where she belonged.
*ARC provided in exchange for an honest review.
BLOG | INSTAGRAM |TWITTER | BLOGLOVIN | FRIEND ME ON GOODREADS
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