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120 pages, Paperback
First published November 3, 1997






Dan Didn’t fancy my sandwiches?
Alice I don’t eat fish.
Dan Why not?
Alice Fish piss in the sea.
Dan So do children.
Alice I don’t eat children either. What’s your work?
Dan Journalism.
Alice What sort?
Dan Obituaries.
Alice Do you like it . . . in the dying business?
Dan It’ a living.
Alice … you give us the money.
Larry And what do we get in return?
Alice We’re nice to you.
Larry And we get to see you naked.
Alice It’s beautiful.
Larry Except . . . you think you haven’t given us anything of yourselves. You think
because you don’t love us or desire us or even like us you think you’ve won.
Alice It’s not a war.
Larry But you do give us something of yourselves: you give us imagery . . . and we
do with it what we will. You don’t understand the territory. Because you are the territory.
I could ask you to strip right now.
Alice Yes.
Larry Would you?
Alice Sure. Do you want me to?
Larry No. Alice . . . tell me something true.
Alice Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off. But it’s better if you do.
Larry You’re cold. You’re cold at heart.
WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO DO TO GET A BIT OF INTIMACY ROUND HERE?
Dan You fake it with me?
Anna Yes, yes I do. I fake one in three, all right?
Dan Really?
Anna I haven’t counted.
Dan Tell me the truth.
Anna Occasionally . . . I have faked it. It’s not important. You don’t make me come.
I come, you’re . . . in the area . . . providing . . . valiant assistance.
Dan You make me come.
Anna You’re a man, you’d come if the tooth fairy winked at you.
This is what we’re dealing with; we arrive with our baggage and for a while they’re brilliant, they’re baggage handlers. We say ‘Where’s your baggage?’ They deny all knowledge of it, they’re in love, they have none. Then, just as you’re relaxing, a great big juggernaut arrives . . . with their baggage. It got held up. The greatest myth men have about women is that we overpack.
They love the way we make them feel but not ‘us’. They love dreams.