On My Own Side: Transform Self-Criticism and Doubt Into Permanent Self-Worth and Confidence

by Aziz Gazipura

Are YOU Your Own Biggest Critic? Do you tend to be hard on yourself, impatient with your setbacks, and quick to judge yourself? Perhaps you appear self-assured on the outside, but inside you often feel inferior, doubtful, and question yourself. After writing the runaway bestseller Not Nice, Dr. Aziz returns to tackle the biggest killer of your own inner critic. That voice in your head tells you that you can’t achieve what you want, or be loved for who you are, because you’re not enough. Unfortunately, most people don’t realize just how much that negative voice is running their lives, creating stress, anxiety, perfectionism, relentless business, and overwhelm. Through his work with thousands of people in live events, group programs, and online, Dr. Aziz systematically uncovered the most effective approach to rapidly end self-criticism and doubt, and replace it with permanent self-worth and confidence. In this refreshingly honest and moving book, Dr. Aziz gives you specific guidance, powerful exercises, and clear strategies to regain control inside your own mind, so you can live with more freedom, self-expression, trust, and confidence in yourself than ever before. You’ll also discover how => Put an end to constant comparison, self-judgment, and internal criticism. => Skyrocket your sense of value, self-worth, and inner confidence. => Stop doubting yourself and start living with bold self-trust. => Eliminate your fear of failure, mistakes, and the disapproval of others. => Truly like yourself and enjoy living your life! Dr. Aziz is a bestselling author and the world’s leading authority on confidence. Through books, coaching programs, online trainings, and live events, he helps people from all over the world skyrocket their confidence so they can excel in business, thrive in relationships, and live an extraordinary life on their terms.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Psychology, Mental Health, Personal Development

534 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 25, 2020

About the author

Dr. Aziz is a clinical psychologist and one of the world's leading experts on social confidence. After being stuck in shyness and social anxiety himself for almost 10 years, he became determined to find a way to social freedom. Through thousands of hours of his own training, counseling, reading, group work, and coaching, he has truly mastered what it takes to break free from shyness and social anxiety into a life of confidence.
In 2011, Dr. Aziz started The Center For Social Confidence, which is dedicated to helping everyone break through their shyness and social anxiety. Through his unique blend of compassion, humor, and personal courage, Dr. Aziz has helped thousands of people all over the world increase their confidence. Through confidence coaching, audio and video programs, podcasts, a detailed blog, and intensive weekend workshops, Dr. Aziz lives out his mission: To help every person who is stuck in shyness liberate themselves to pursue the relationship, career, and life they have always dreamed of.

He lives in Portland, Oregon with his wife Candace and son Zaim (who he claims is the "most socially confident badass kid in the world.")

Reviews

[patricio · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've enjoyed reading and learned a lot from it

The best book by Aziz so far. I've loved it. It is so easy to read and at the same time very deep and useful. It is very clear and uses a warm and beautiful language. And he also shows me that he has also been there. He also has problems and he doesn't have all the answers but can help me be more connecred wirh myself and live my life the way I want.

[Zumrud Huseynova · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is a good book. 100%. Solid intro to self loving, but it is a little long and in comparison to the "not nice" it is light and doesn't give so many insights, but one related with naming your other "selfs" and having talk with them.

[Bella · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hopefully I can actually use some of the stuff in this book. It was good, a little uncomfortable at times, but that comes with the territory

[Kevin Lapham · Rating 2 out of 5]

Basic love yourself and treat yourself as a friend. Adivce

[Christina · Rating 2 out of 5]

TLDR: did not finish, book and emails had a cheesy Tony Robbins click funnel vibe, he’ll bombard you with emails and try to rope you into a Master Class (ugh). Bought a Nedra Glover Tawaab book instead and got more out of it.

I heard Aziz Gazipura speak on a podcast and really enjoyed what he had to say, so I thought I would give his book a try.

I got the audio book but also signed up on his website for accompanying supportive emails (I thought I would go all-in, as his claim is that most people buy self help books and give the, up after a chapter or two [spoiler alert 😂]).

I watched the videos, journaled, took notes etc. But the emails came fast and furious and his videos had a real Tony Robbins/Mel Robbins feel to them. I became increasingly put-off.

I explored his website and he has some amazing credentials but then he also has all these *really cringy* credentials, like ALL of Tony Robbins courses. WHY would you put that in your bio??

When I got the email claiming that I could increase my self esteem EVEN MORE by joining his MASTER CLASS, I was done. Luckily Audible has a feature that allows you to return books, so all was not lost.

He ended up being a self fulfilling prophecy: I didn’t make it past the 4th chapter, or so. He was too cringy, and seemed to be taking too much from the Tony Robbins playbook with all the stories about how horrible his life was but then he just “did this one trick.”

Save your money - his book is like all the rest, full of anecdotes about his own overcoming of hardships but now he has it all, with wonderful self esteem, and everything is perfect and you too can be just like him. Ok, he’s actually more likeable than that, but the vibe of the book plus emails plus cringy CV was too much.

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

It took me more than a year to read this book. Resistance like none other rose up in me as I pressed forward, chapter by chapter by chapter.

From that alone, you might be thinking this is a boring or arduous read. It’s actually the opposite! Aziz is warm, funny, raw and so complex. I could not tolerate such high doses of warm fuzzies with such an uncomfortable topic.

Press on. This book is like looking in a mirror but if the person holding the mirror loved you a lot, and wanted you to see what they see.

I can’t recommend OMOS (the book and the practice) enough. I wish I had fifty copies to skillfully recommend at the perfect time so that my friends, coworkers and family would catch the spark it gave me.

Word of advice: don’t feel pressured to read 100% of the book. Because I have a background in psychology, communication and sociology there were sections that I already deeply understood. I promise, Aziz would want you to enjoy what you’re reading instead of satisfying some arbitrary standard of 100% completion! Just read what you need to know and skim what you already have a grasp on.

[zett251 · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m not sure how I ended up finding this book, but I’m glad I did. The premise of the book is quite simple — there’s an abundance of self-disdain and/or self-dissatisfaction that humans of today’s age have to live with. For some, it might be an occasional thing and for others, an ill that pervades their life and distorts most if not all the beauty that life can bring. And this can all take place without the victim’s awareness. With this book, the author seeks to bring these issues into the reader’s awareness and to offer advice on moving onward. I think he accomplishes this really well. Having read through the book, I do feel empowered to challenge the ineffective and hurtful thought patterns that have long since become habitual for me. And though you will find adjacent ideas in other texts, there’s a breath of sincerity to the writing here that I feel is not often present in self-help books.

[Mohamed Hamouda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Be yourself

I am honoured to read this book at this age and at this moment of my time. It is a bit late for me with my family with the divorce that happened and five children with their mother, however I hope for best coming my way in the future. Thank you Dr. Aziz for sharing your experiences and your life with us, I am crying while writing these words, because after 25 years of marriage I lost everything. I know I missed it up, and hopping that my children will find there way in life the way they wanted it to be. It will be hard for them and me, but again this life. Thank you again for writing this book that made me to feel and know what I missed in my life and I will do in my future life. Keep inspiring us to transform our lives.

[Heng Wai · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very important book (to me) that taught me self love during the toughest time in my university life. I used to get incredibly angry with myself. I feel so bad and feel that I could explode internally whenever I made a mistake or did not meet my own expectations, but through reading this book, it made me feel so much better about myself. This book taught me how to love myself, and it's definitely a game-changer in my life. Thank you for writing this book!

P.S. It could be challenging to take in what was written, but when I have the courage to process and acknowledge all the self-hatred that was really happening inside me (through the guidance of the author), this awareness then helped me transform for the better! And of course, you can do it too!

[Brookie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had no idea other people talked to themselves internally the same way I do. This book was so eye opening. To know I can have a conversation with my inner critic. I listened to this book on audible and Dr.Aziz is funny and very down to earth. I caught myself many times thinking “he gets it!”. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is their worst enemy or critic. To anyone who thinks being hard on yourself is how you become successful. I believed so many of these lies for too long. Reading this book will change the way you think and live. So thankful for this book!

[Andreea AP · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dr. Aziz work has been considerably helpful for my progress. Though the book is filled with plenty of information to be practiced, I ve found it a little too long and became inpatient to finish it. The book is useful for both beginners and advanced people in personal development process as Dr Aziz explains with plenty of details the stages and strategies to decrease self criticism and live a more fulfilled life with increased confidence and self worth.

[Stefan Dion Garcia · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a very useful book. I do not like the writing style, especially like a lot of the patriarchal stuff about like being in charge of the family and “Master and Commander” but I genuinely believe in being on your own side, in trying to understand what the critic is trying to say to you and why he is there and then working on your needs in healthier ways.

[Teo · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book that you need to re-read and will be compelled to have around for future reference. Highly recommend this book to anyone who is in need of understanding that anger management does not only apply to the way you treat others, it is about how you can be extremely critical with yourself, to your detriment.

[Elizabeth Durán · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an amazing book that will teach you and equip you to be your own advocate. I highly recommend it! The only observation I have is that the author tends to put some perspective from a perspective of parents of young children (his own perspective) but many readers are parents of adult children and not as relatable. I would have liked more advice for older, middle aged readers.

[Dr David Oxley · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book encourages you to tame your inner critic. It’s a bit fluffy, bouncy, and cheerleader-ish. However the authors point is understood and appreciated.

I think the book lacked some substance. It needed more grounding, research, to be authoritative. It felt too anecdotal and Bobby Boucher for me.

[Kris · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book changed the way I see myself. I highly recommend it!!

[Tim DeCillis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really good, will challenge your beliefs and make you rethink your self talk.

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really kind book that gives you actionable ways to love and support yourself.

[Abc def · Rating 5 out of 5]

His books seem to always work for me.

[Peroz Shirzad · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful book about being your own ally; which a human brain is not conditioned to do in this day and age of dopamine and self-judgment. There are many good tips and wisdom from his personal life about how to be your best friend. Will definitely reread it.

Second read :

t's been 2 months since I started reading this book. I have read his previous books before, and I knew most of the concepts of such as inner critic, self-compassion, mindfulness, action and facing your fears. There are depths to those concepts such questions arise: how to apply them, how can you get the most out of them and how to achieve success permanently. Easier said than done though; you can always get results from good advice, always. That being said, I found "OMOS" as mere interest and amazingly how shifting your "inner critic" into a friend, a father, a good coach, and a 7-year kid with tantrums and getting at peace your whole self. That hits hard and shifting this core belief seems possible, not only possible, but you already are ok, worthy, and complete (not perfect).