Приборкай своїх драконів. Як перетворити недоліки на переваги

by José Luis Stevens, Віра Кучменко (Translator)

Що заважає нам змінюватися, розвиватися та бути щасливими? Внутрішні страхи й особистісні негативні установки. Хосе Стівенс, психотерапевт із 20-річним стажем, влучно порівняв їх із драконами. Знайомтеся, це зарозумілість і самоприниження, нетерплячість та мучеництво, жадібність, саморуйнування й упертість. Монстри, що лякають нас та не дають рухатися вперед. Утім автор певен, що мета тих драконів — зробити вас сильнішими. Це найефективніший інструмент для особистої трансформації.
Час кинути виклик внутрішнім страхам, що позбавляють радості життя! Перетворіть свої недоліки на переваги, віднайдіть гармонію із зовнішнім світом, змініться, не зраджуючи власних принципів. Приборкати драконів допоможе нестандартний підхід автора, ґрунтований на дослідженнях міфів та священних книг, найрізноманітніших духовних традицій і сучасних психологічних теорій.
Тримайтеся міцніше, бо незабаром ви злетите дуже високо!

Genres: Psychology, Self Help, Nonfiction, Spirituality, Personal Development

464 pages, Hardcover

First published August 1, 1994

Reviews

[Pavi · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books I've ever read. I have never promoted a book so much to every person I see, it was lovely, I am sure to go back to it again. I say that this book is a must for anyone trying to make any kind of change in their lives.

[Janni · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this book when first published. This is a classic go to for anyone struggling to understand themselves or others. While it relates to many other works for personal improvement, I found this text an easy to digest and instantly applicable to life format. We are all in this book, in my opinion. My "take aways" from this work are branded in my mind. Self development, self improvement, personal growth would be my first categories but it also helped me raise my own awareness and compassion toward others.

[Vita Levytska · Rating 5 out of 5]

Чудова книжка! Мабуть, одна з найкорисніших на тему саморозвитку із прочитаного нещодавно. Лагідна до читача; хоча описує вкрай неприємні аспекти поведінкових відхилень, але не звинувачує в усіх смертних гріхах, а допомагає відсторонитися від проблеми, виокремити її. Ти сам по собі - цінний, гідний поваги і любові, а твій дракон - сам по собі. І його можна зрозуміти, здолати, приборкати або побачити як сильну сторону.

[Lillian Hawkins · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting perspective into the reasons people do what they do. Enjoyed the self tests and the empowerment and transformation exercizes.

[Alexander Skakunov · Rating 5 out of 5]

Когда надоело наступать в жизни на одни и те же грабли, это книга поможет определить и приручить ваших демонов. Это ОЧЕНЬ крутая книжка.

[Beth · Rating 4 out of 5]

I first heard about this book while attending a webinar featuring Lauren Sappala, the author of _The INFJ Writer_, in which Sappala described the "dragons" that might be acting as writer's blocks. Applying this theory directly to the issue of writing hooked me, and so I purchased this book. José Luis Stevens posits that there are seven dragons (Arrogance, Self-deprecation, Impatience, Martyrdom, Greed, Self-destruction, and Stubbornness) that can keep us from being our fullest selves and he offers suggestions on how best to slay said dragons. While some might find the use of dragon hokey, it is an interesting and thorough investigation of how certain behaviors develop, manifest, and can be overcome.

Because I have spent a lot of time studying the Enneagram (perhaps the best book on the subject in terms of personal transformation is Riso & Hudson's _Wisdom of the Enneagram) where there are nine types and subsequent pitfalls, I felt frustrated at times that none of the dragons fit me so well as that particular tool of self-discovery. (Nor do they correlate with the Seven Deadly Sins, which was also frustrating.) For example, Arrogance and Self-deprecation seem to be two sides of the same coin and yet there is no category for someone who suffers from envy/jealousy. So for me, while this was fascinating and well-presented, it didn't feel like as good of a fit for me personally as other systems, hence the four stars instead of five. The "dragons" felt more like some that were randomly highlighted instead of a definitive look at all the ways humans trip themselves up.

That said, it is well worth a read. It offers exercises to help overcome these weaknesses, talks about relationship/dragon-pairings to see how certain characteristics manifest when paired with another person whose weaknesses are different. There are a series of appendices that also offer interesting information including a list of mental disorders that correlate with individual dragons.

For me, reading this book from the point of view of a creative person who feels blocked was most helpful. It was easy to visualized a dragon standing in the person's path, stopping them their life's work and the thought of vanquishing said dragon was satisfying. This book will appeal to those who are interested in self-help and who are receptive to tools like journaling, meditation, etc.

[Amber · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is definitely one of the most mind-blowing books I've ever read. Dr. Stevens managed to combine the clinical perspectives (from how the minds of, say, arrogant people work, to the composures and traits of one) with theory and self-help, which is such a breakthrough for books like this. I purchased this book with a weary is-this-going-to-be-another-one-of-those mindset, but knew I had stumbled across a gem a few pages into the book, which rarely happens these days - especially for a self-help book.

I noticed a few mentioned patterns within myself, and the way Dr. Stevens portrayed these as 'dragons' was very helpful in that it encouraged me to change some fixed and unnecessary assumptions about myself, by both acknowledging their existence but at the same time giving me the tools to dig deeper into myself and resolve these issues. This book marked the start of important self-discovery for me and I hope that all who come across it will find it as insightful as I do. For example, I never noticed that personality could be so clearly reflected in the way one walks. Also the way that certain characteristics develop (the stages they take and the various manifestations as well - so very detailed) were very well depicted and rationalized to the point where everything started making sense. All the mysteries of the human psyche explained in such succinct prose.

This is a must-read for all who want to know both about themselves and the people around them, as well as practicing clinicians and consultants.

[Harrison Entwistle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I put no date on here,,,true to form the book provides life long learning- something we could all do a little bit more of. Noticing our flaws ultimately shows us just how powerful each of us is,,,having all your energy available to make a choice leads us to slay our 'thou shalt' dragons!!!

[Ada · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked it. The book gives an interesting perspective why people do things. I also liked the stages of maturity description very much. I would definitely recommend this book.

[Sydnee Mata · Rating 5 out of 5]

I know, I know, 5 is a high score. I swear this book deserves it.

This is one of the few self-help books I believe can be helpful despite one's trauma history, socioeconomic status, gender, age, race, inequity, etc. To be able to help a diverse population is rare for a self-help book in my opinion so it gets major points from me on that.

There were so many times where I wanted to put the book down and label it as "completely wrong about me." As hard as it was to read, it's true. Learning about your dragons is hard, but I'm so glad I read through it. It's so eye opening and yet empowering. Not only do you learn which dragons you have and why they're there, but you learn how to transform them to work for you, not against you.

I will say, you have to be open to really learning about the "not so great" personality patterns. To benefit from this book, you havr to be willing to look in the mirror and accept that maybe you have some work to do. It's hard to face it but if you're ready to go in open-minded, you'll benefit.

Really powerful and enlightening book. Strongly recommend. 💛

[Ilon · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an interesting read, all about what manifestations your ego takes, basically. There's a little quiz in the front that, based on how you respond in stressful situations, shows you which "dragon" has you caught. The rest of the book is about each dragon, what caused it, what it might look like in your daily life, and the steps to take to be less in its influence. Some of the language/examples seems a little dated/racist- such as listing "gender identity disorder" as being something a particular dragon is causing, but it is helpful to take a (painful) look at your own behaviors.

[Thomas_B · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the best self help Book I've ever picked up. Easy to understand and realize why you do and think the way you do. I didn't think I would fall into much of the "Dragon" Categories but boy was I wrong! I believe I've grown some and can handle myself better in situations. This is something that I can take with me all throughout my life.
I explain these things to others who are also looking for self-guidance.

[Laurie Dameshek · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book over 20 years ago, and I still believe in its transformative power. The most practical book I ever read on how to face who you are and to build the person you wish to become. I recommend it whenever someone needs to face the present head on.

[Cindy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well written and informative.

[Sofia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Чудова книга для тих, хто найбільше шанує саморозвиток та постійне вдосконалення.

[Denise Elwyn McKenzie · Rating 4 out of 5]

The reason I picked up this book in the first place was the word 'Transforming'. This is not about 'Slaying' your personal dragons, but swapping negative traites into positive ones. This book helps understand negative traites and tools to transform them into thier corresponding positive one.

[Ramón Domínguez · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the best books i have ever read, José Stevens' accuracy on human behavior and spirit makes this book a delight. I learned a lot of myself while answering the quizzes and asking insight questions. Its sad there is no translation to spanish. A very necessary book now because of the great mental health crisis we are thru.

[Roman Sakharov · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very nice book, helps to look at yourself from different angle.