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Belinda Blinked #5
Belinda Blinked 5
Belinda Blinked 5 continues the story of erotic fantasy; of sexual innuendo; of unforgettable characters… and somewhat big business deals whilst the Devil’s darkness engulfs their world.Wait let’s not forget family betrayal… yes family;Once again Rocky Flintstone, the self-published author who put the 'rot' in Erotica, presents his 5th book of the Belinda Blinked series. Belinda Blumenthal, the International Sales Director of Steeles Pots and Pans, has found herself in many tricky situations… small ones, big ones, sticky ones and worst of all, flaky ones. But never has she had to fight death, explosions, treason, espionage and big business on a combined front.It’s an impossible task and even the assistance of James Spooner from MI6, the mysterious Duchess and the Confidential Order of Cookware Knights may not be enough. With her sales team cut to ribbons by the latest atrocity which a rouge agent has initiated at the behest of Herr Bisch, the poisonous Chief Executive of Bisch Herstellung of East Berlin, can even Belinda survive this devastating turn of events. In this mad world of backstabbing, business intrigue and late night steamy sex sessions, can the much weakened forces of good overcome the dark entrails of the bad. Many answers lie in this book so read on dear Belinker…. if you feel you can....... and hope… because hope is all that’s left.
74 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2019
9 people are currently reading
74 people want to read
About the author
Rocky Flintstone
25 books329 followersRocky likes to write in the sun and with a glass of Australian Chardonnay wine in his hand, nothing makes him feel more at home. Based between North East Brazil and Andalucia in Spain he gets to grips with his stories, bringing them to print for his loyal readers who are split equally between those who love and those who hate the books... but as Rocky says, 'it's only human nature... I love you all... jus sayin...'
Warwick said... 'So appallingly written that it almost goes full circle:... one star for this – but in many ways, a star more glorious than the constellations of far greater works of literature.'
Sarah said... 'What a great find! I had been looking for a how-to that struck a chord with me for some time. What better role model for a young woman looking to make it in the business world than Belinda, a strong, empowered career woman headed straight to the top of the pots and pans industry. This manual includes helpful tips on business attire, negotiation techniques, and teamwork building. A must-read for managers and employees alike.'
Belinda Blinked 1 is his first novel of the series and Rocky published his second, Belinda Blinked 2 in summer 2016. Belinda Blinked 3 was published in late May 2017 and since then Rocky has annually published Belinda Blinked 4 and 5 and 6. He's currently writing Belinda Blinked 8; and 9. Rocky has also self published the Belinda Blinked series as paperbacks via Amazon. These are in addition to the original e books.
October 2016 saw the publication of the collaborative effort My Dad Wrote a Porno book between some London media dudes and Rocky based on the words and podcast of Belinda Blinked 1! With rave reviews it's worth a read and is now published worldwide...
The Belinda Blinked Books 1,;2; 3; 4; 5; and 6 have been picked up by the above mentioned London media types and are being distributed as a podcast called My Dad Wrote a Porno with over 330 million... yes 330,000,000 worldwide downloads which has made it an unprecedented success! Its free on your fav podcast app...
Undaunted the London Media Dudes took a lost chapter from the Belinda Blinked series on worldwide tour. USA, UK, Europe and Australia were venues. They sold out all the iconic venues such as the Sydney Opera House, New York Town Hall, The Royal Albert Hall London and The Orpheum Los Angeles. It was so good HBO have commissioned a 60 minute TV special. So if you missed the live tour why not join them for sixty minutes of sidesplitting mirth in 2019. See the podcast and book characters come to life on the stage and learn things about the human body Rocky never thought you knew..... Another world tour in 2022 is now on sale and has a similar format but with new even more dodgy material....
So why don't you buy the books, join in the fun and read along with 'team porno'?' Find the podcast on iTunes or Acast under "My Dad Wrote a Porno" Follow the buzz on twitter or visit Rocky on twitter @FlintstoneRocky
There's also a website www.BelindaBlinked.com and www.RockyFlintstone.com where you can discover more pieces about Rocky and Belinda. Sign up on the website and Rocky will send you extra material which has never been published. jus sayin...
Warwick said... 'So appallingly written that it almost goes full circle:... one star for this – but in many ways, a star more glorious than the constellations of far greater works of literature.'
Sarah said... 'What a great find! I had been looking for a how-to that struck a chord with me for some time. What better role model for a young woman looking to make it in the business world than Belinda, a strong, empowered career woman headed straight to the top of the pots and pans industry. This manual includes helpful tips on business attire, negotiation techniques, and teamwork building. A must-read for managers and employees alike.'
Belinda Blinked 1 is his first novel of the series and Rocky published his second, Belinda Blinked 2 in summer 2016. Belinda Blinked 3 was published in late May 2017 and since then Rocky has annually published Belinda Blinked 4 and 5 and 6. He's currently writing Belinda Blinked 8; and 9. Rocky has also self published the Belinda Blinked series as paperbacks via Amazon. These are in addition to the original e books.
October 2016 saw the publication of the collaborative effort My Dad Wrote a Porno book between some London media dudes and Rocky based on the words and podcast of Belinda Blinked 1! With rave reviews it's worth a read and is now published worldwide...
The Belinda Blinked Books 1,;2; 3; 4; 5; and 6 have been picked up by the above mentioned London media types and are being distributed as a podcast called My Dad Wrote a Porno with over 330 million... yes 330,000,000 worldwide downloads which has made it an unprecedented success! Its free on your fav podcast app...
Undaunted the London Media Dudes took a lost chapter from the Belinda Blinked series on worldwide tour. USA, UK, Europe and Australia were venues. They sold out all the iconic venues such as the Sydney Opera House, New York Town Hall, The Royal Albert Hall London and The Orpheum Los Angeles. It was so good HBO have commissioned a 60 minute TV special. So if you missed the live tour why not join them for sixty minutes of sidesplitting mirth in 2019. See the podcast and book characters come to life on the stage and learn things about the human body Rocky never thought you knew..... Another world tour in 2022 is now on sale and has a similar format but with new even more dodgy material....
So why don't you buy the books, join in the fun and read along with 'team porno'?' Find the podcast on iTunes or Acast under "My Dad Wrote a Porno" Follow the buzz on twitter or visit Rocky on twitter @FlintstoneRocky
There's also a website www.BelindaBlinked.com and www.RockyFlintstone.com where you can discover more pieces about Rocky and Belinda. Sign up on the website and Rocky will send you extra material which has never been published. jus sayin...
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 90 reviews
December 9, 2019
What the, and I cannot stress this enough, lids
December 9, 2019
God, I love this show, and I hate when a series ends.
November 14, 2019
Things slow down a little in the fifth instalment of Belinda Blinked and - as the podcast hosts note - it's worth remarking that this is the first book Flintstone was writing after the podcast commenced (although while still in its early days). There are occasional traces of callbacks and references which hopefully won't lead to too much self-awareness on the part of the writer going forward!
This is still legendary stuff although something has shifted, hasn't it? Perhaps it's that the "sex" (if we can call it that) seemed to have more of a purpose in the first books, whether for business introductions, negotiations, or commiserations (all perfectly reasonable justifications; no shame). Now, characters are often to be found bumping uglies while just passing the time. It seems as if things have become a bit sillier all around. (Early sequences such as Dr Stud are barely permissible!)
But things do take off in East Berlin and then the introduction of the fantastically-named Cosmo Macaroon. As an Australian, I can attest to Rocky's detailed verisimilitude when it comes to recreating my country.
What's next for Steele's? It is, literally, anyone's guess.
This is still legendary stuff although something has shifted, hasn't it? Perhaps it's that the "sex" (if we can call it that) seemed to have more of a purpose in the first books, whether for business introductions, negotiations, or commiserations (all perfectly reasonable justifications; no shame). Now, characters are often to be found bumping uglies while just passing the time. It seems as if things have become a bit sillier all around. (Early sequences such as Dr Stud are barely permissible!)
But things do take off in East Berlin and then the introduction of the fantastically-named Cosmo Macaroon. As an Australian, I can attest to Rocky's detailed verisimilitude when it comes to recreating my country.
What's next for Steele's? It is, literally, anyone's guess.
December 12, 2019
At one point in this book, a duchess rides a horse into a safe house where men are playing strip baccarat, or something. It's one of the sanest moments of the book. But let's back up.
Belinda Blinked is the atrociously-written, biologically-suspect, family-shaming book of erotica written by the pseudonymous Rocky Flintstone (which: delightful). Flintstone gave the manuscripts of the first few books to his son Jamie, who was horrified. So he did what any sane child of a budding porn novelist would do: started a podcast with his two best friends - James and Alice - to read the book and react accordingly. In the first book alone, one man fucks a woman and enters her cervix, breasts hang like pomegranates, and an older woman's nipples are described as looking like the "three-inch bolts that were used on the fateful Titanic." What IS this thing? WHY is this thing?
My buddy Joe introduced me to the podcast, My Dad Wrote a Porno, a few years ago on a road trip from Athens, GA to Orlando, FL. I got hooked immediately. Jamie reads the books; his friends Alice and James react. Sometimes Jamie reacts, because the sheer weight of the fact that it's his Dad who took time out of his life to pen this lunacy. Plus, the fact that they're all British - and that Jamie has taken to doing accents for the most colorful characters - just makes the whole thing kind of charming. I mean it's crass and it's baffling, but it's not MEAN.
Book 5 took a weird turn away from the world of cookware, where our hero Belinda Blumenthal is some sort of executive, and became a spy novel. It makes no sense. There are long chapters involving trading sex for a cookware spot on Australian television. Someone fucks a book, maybe. There's a horse named Toffee Apple Chew. It's all ridiculous. I can't recommend it enough.
Why four stars instead of 5. Well, I'm pondering that myself. Like, how does Belinda Blinked 5 stack up against Where the Crawdads Sing, or Little Fires Everywhere? Who can say? Is it as good a novel as The Shining, which I re-read this year? Your mileage may vary. I may have TRIED to give it five stars, but the small critic inside me who read Mildred Pierce and The Dutch House and The Goldfinch this year threatened to cut my hand off, so I guess we're stuck with 4. Now the long, hard, sensuous wait for Season 6.
Belinda Blinked is the atrociously-written, biologically-suspect, family-shaming book of erotica written by the pseudonymous Rocky Flintstone (which: delightful). Flintstone gave the manuscripts of the first few books to his son Jamie, who was horrified. So he did what any sane child of a budding porn novelist would do: started a podcast with his two best friends - James and Alice - to read the book and react accordingly. In the first book alone, one man fucks a woman and enters her cervix, breasts hang like pomegranates, and an older woman's nipples are described as looking like the "three-inch bolts that were used on the fateful Titanic." What IS this thing? WHY is this thing?
My buddy Joe introduced me to the podcast, My Dad Wrote a Porno, a few years ago on a road trip from Athens, GA to Orlando, FL. I got hooked immediately. Jamie reads the books; his friends Alice and James react. Sometimes Jamie reacts, because the sheer weight of the fact that it's his Dad who took time out of his life to pen this lunacy. Plus, the fact that they're all British - and that Jamie has taken to doing accents for the most colorful characters - just makes the whole thing kind of charming. I mean it's crass and it's baffling, but it's not MEAN.
Book 5 took a weird turn away from the world of cookware, where our hero Belinda Blumenthal is some sort of executive, and became a spy novel. It makes no sense. There are long chapters involving trading sex for a cookware spot on Australian television. Someone fucks a book, maybe. There's a horse named Toffee Apple Chew. It's all ridiculous. I can't recommend it enough.
Why four stars instead of 5. Well, I'm pondering that myself. Like, how does Belinda Blinked 5 stack up against Where the Crawdads Sing, or Little Fires Everywhere? Who can say? Is it as good a novel as The Shining, which I re-read this year? Your mileage may vary. I may have TRIED to give it five stars, but the small critic inside me who read Mildred Pierce and The Dutch House and The Goldfinch this year threatened to cut my hand off, so I guess we're stuck with 4. Now the long, hard, sensuous wait for Season 6.
December 10, 2019
Rocky Flintstone is truly the Shakespeare of our time.
February 17, 2022
The last two sentences of my blurb about this book says basically, it all.
"In this mad world of backstabbing, business intrigue and late night steamy sex sessions, can the much weakened forces of good overcome the dark entrails of the bad. Many answers lie in this book so read on dear Belinker…. if you feel you can....... and hope… because hope is all that’s left."
So, this book is all about hope, a wonderful extra terrestrial sensation that we all aspire to. Indeed need, in order to continue life's journey in the way that we know was intended only for us. I know you're going to ask how the words backstabbing... big hint there of course, business intrigue and steamy sex sessions can all be included in one sentence... well, this is a Belinda Blinked book so enjoy!
"In this mad world of backstabbing, business intrigue and late night steamy sex sessions, can the much weakened forces of good overcome the dark entrails of the bad. Many answers lie in this book so read on dear Belinker…. if you feel you can....... and hope… because hope is all that’s left."
So, this book is all about hope, a wonderful extra terrestrial sensation that we all aspire to. Indeed need, in order to continue life's journey in the way that we know was intended only for us. I know you're going to ask how the words backstabbing... big hint there of course, business intrigue and steamy sex sessions can all be included in one sentence... well, this is a Belinda Blinked book so enjoy!
August 8, 2021
trigger warnings: graphic sex, bodily fluids, kidnapping, bomb, death and near death experience, bdsm, murder..kinda
this is unironically the funniest shit i've ever read. the podcast makes it even funnier.
this is unironically the funniest shit i've ever read. the podcast makes it even funnier.
June 21, 2022
Rocky does not disappoint and the podcast trio is wonderful as always.
November 11, 2023
I’ve decided that relistening to a season of My Dad Wrote a Porno counts as an audiobook.
December 27, 2020
Snapte er helemaal niks van, wat een avontuur
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February 23, 2023Omg what does the tattoo mean???
January 23, 2023
I really like how these books are turning more spy sex novel than business sex. The outlandish writing style of Rocky Flintstone is more easily acceptable in this new world. I love how the last 3 books have had crazy reveals that leaves me wanting more. Belinda Blinked the series is a 5 star series if you listen to My Dad Wrote a Porno podcast which helps answer questions both in the read along episodes and the footnotes. As a reading series, it is up to you to piece together never-woven threads and find your own humour in it.
April 4, 2020
The best/weirdest/most hilarious anti-erotic erotica to help beat the quarantine blues.
Find all 5 seasons of the podcast here: My Dad Wrote a Porno
Find all 5 seasons of the podcast here: My Dad Wrote a Porno
June 9, 2021
This is the best one yet! I cried laughing at the podcast again!! Amazing!!! Bring on Belinda blinker 6!
April 22, 2025
it’s truly horrible, but i cannot recommend it enough
December 11, 2019
Listened to as part of the My Dad Wrote A Porno podcast.
I actually genuinely didn’t enjoy this instalment of Belinda Blinked as much as I have done past instalments, although admittedly, this might be because I was horribly sick throughout most of the podcast’s duration and found it very difficult to concentrate. Now the story does actually have a plot (shock, horror!), it’s become less of a catalogue of hilariously impossible sexual encounters and more just genuinely bad. I still love it in all it’s horrifying glory though—it just wasn’t my favourite in the series!
Still can’t wait to see Jamie, Alice and James read Belinda’s 30th next year, the Christmas special, and the inevitable Belinda Blinked 6!
I actually genuinely didn’t enjoy this instalment of Belinda Blinked as much as I have done past instalments, although admittedly, this might be because I was horribly sick throughout most of the podcast’s duration and found it very difficult to concentrate. Now the story does actually have a plot (shock, horror!), it’s become less of a catalogue of hilariously impossible sexual encounters and more just genuinely bad. I still love it in all it’s horrifying glory though—it just wasn’t my favourite in the series!
Still can’t wait to see Jamie, Alice and James read Belinda’s 30th next year, the Christmas special, and the inevitable Belinda Blinked 6!
December 9, 2019
As with all of these, the book itself is about 1 star but the podcast makes it phenomenal. This is the first time I felt like Rocky forgot he was writing an erotic novel, and leaned heavily into the spy subplot and honestly: here for it. The only thing better than Rocky's bizarre version of erotica is Rocky's attempt at a spy-mystery situation. I don't even think this book is able to be summed up as each chapter feels so isolated in its plot but rest assured if you've kept up with Belinda this long you know where to set your expectations.
and if you're somehow new to Rocky Flintstone I highly recommend checking out My Dad Wrote a Porno podcast as the best way to consume these "novels"
and if you're somehow new to Rocky Flintstone I highly recommend checking out My Dad Wrote a Porno podcast as the best way to consume these "novels"
December 15, 2019
Magnificent, as always. A wild, enjoyable romp.
Most amazingly, Rocky Flinstone actually includes some plot. It's both surprising and refreshing. But, before you get your hopes up, there's a good deal of trash thrown in as well.
From a trip to heaven (where Belinda's 3rd grade oboe teaching is chatting to Nelson Mandela) to a horse riding into a house, this really is a delightful ride.
Thank you for bringing so much joy to my commutes, Rocky & team.
Most amazingly, Rocky Flinstone actually includes some plot. It's both surprising and refreshing. But, before you get your hopes up, there's a good deal of trash thrown in as well.
From a trip to heaven (where Belinda's 3rd grade oboe teaching is chatting to Nelson Mandela) to a horse riding into a house, this really is a delightful ride.
Thank you for bringing so much joy to my commutes, Rocky & team.
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December 10, 2019Oh lord! There are actual plot twists!
December 12, 2019
So so hilarious. So sad that it’s over
December 21, 2019
So schlecht und doch so lustig als Podcast...
February 23, 2020
Utrolig skrøpelig håndverk. Innfallsbasert og veldig løst tilknyttet hvordan verden fungerer i virkeligheten.
May 27, 2020
An interesting new take on the series... Not much happened in comparison to the rest of the books, which I hoped would improve the depth of the characters in this mishmash of events, but one could only hope. Lots of forced similes, ambiguous character motivations, inconsistent locations and travel speeds, etc, etc. However, there's also lots of things to learn from this new installment, which I loved hearing about on My Dad Wrote a Porno. Best podcast, hands down!
July 30, 2020
Rocky flintstone is getting better at writing.
As before, the book is not great, 1 star, but combined with reading a chapter and the listen to the podcast about the same chapter. It is great and a 5 star experience.
This book has a plot, and quits on a great cliffhanger
As before, the book is not great, 1 star, but combined with reading a chapter and the listen to the podcast about the same chapter. It is great and a 5 star experience.
This book has a plot, and quits on a great cliffhanger
January 5, 2021
It is just as completely bonkers as the previous four, I have just listen to the final part of the My Dad Wrote A Porno podcast, just go and look for it if you don't already know it, your day will instantly be better
March 25, 2021
BRB. Reinstating my LinkedIn.
Previous Experience:
-sex therapist/coma doctor for the NHS
Education
-MFA in spycraft from the Royal Academy of Drama & Stuff under Geremima St. Frost-First
Certifications
-license to hurt
Special Skills
-decoupage
Previous Experience:
-sex therapist/coma doctor for the NHS
Education
-MFA in spycraft from the Royal Academy of Drama & Stuff under Geremima St. Frost-First
Certifications
-license to hurt
Special Skills
-decoupage
April 5, 2022
Another great cliffhanger by Rocky. Can’t wait to read the next book that answers absolutely none of my questions. Bloody brilliant. Also can’t believe the next book is the last! Wtf podcast will I listen to after this?
December 20, 2022
A must for Belinkers everywhere. The pace is never right, highly descriptive scenes that go nowhere followed by two minutes of writing that bring up more questions than are answered. Best enjoyed on a flight to Australia, or a hot air balloon escape.
February 26, 2020
Another clithanger... Hoping for a season 6 of my dad wrote a porno. Love the show and the footnotes a lot.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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March 30, 2020Holy hell.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 90 reviews