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Ecstasy #1
Ecstasy
Zara.
Eli.
Alex.
Three students at Caven U who are all really, really f*cking tired of life.
Zara has a substance problem. Eli is a star athlete with a secret. And Alex? He’s just a f*cking a**hole.
Their paths collide one night at a party that quickly spirals out of control. A series of volatile moments follow, enveloping the three of them in a whirlwind of drama, drugs, and destruction.
Zara feels like she’s slipping under, losing her grip on reality. And if she isn’t careful, one of the boys just might pull her all the way down.
But the thing about almost dying at the hands of someone you hate?
In the moment before you take your last breath, the fear can feel a lot like...ecstasy.
And that’s a high you only get once in a lifetime.
Dark romance, suitable for 18+.
Eli.
Alex.
Three students at Caven U who are all really, really f*cking tired of life.
Zara has a substance problem. Eli is a star athlete with a secret. And Alex? He’s just a f*cking a**hole.
Their paths collide one night at a party that quickly spirals out of control. A series of volatile moments follow, enveloping the three of them in a whirlwind of drama, drugs, and destruction.
Zara feels like she’s slipping under, losing her grip on reality. And if she isn’t careful, one of the boys just might pull her all the way down.
But the thing about almost dying at the hands of someone you hate?
In the moment before you take your last breath, the fear can feel a lot like...ecstasy.
And that’s a high you only get once in a lifetime.
Dark romance, suitable for 18+.
410 pages, Kindle Edition
Published April 20, 2020
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,155 reviews
April 21, 2020
Insane.
That's the word that comes to mind when I think of this book.
Heavy drug use, violence, murder, hot sex, and self sabatoge, this book has all the crazy shit you could ask for!
This book is NOT for everyone.
The characters are all batshit, so don't look for a rational one in the bunch. You won't find them.
Their relationships are toxic. Even if you normally enjoy that type of thing, you may still find yourself wanting to smack the fuck out of all of them. The ending is more bitter sweet-ish than happy, and you'll probably either love it or hate it.
That being said, it's also wild, intriguing, captivating, dark, and steamy af! It's like a roller coaster and a train wreck all in one! I could not put it down or look away, and my emotions were all over the place!
If you're feeling brave, and you're looking for something dark and different, this one's for you!
That's the word that comes to mind when I think of this book.
Heavy drug use, violence, murder, hot sex, and self sabatoge, this book has all the crazy shit you could ask for!
This book is NOT for everyone.
The characters are all batshit, so don't look for a rational one in the bunch. You won't find them.
Their relationships are toxic. Even if you normally enjoy that type of thing, you may still find yourself wanting to smack the fuck out of all of them. The ending is more bitter sweet-ish than happy, and you'll probably either love it or hate it.
That being said, it's also wild, intriguing, captivating, dark, and steamy af! It's like a roller coaster and a train wreck all in one! I could not put it down or look away, and my emotions were all over the place!
If you're feeling brave, and you're looking for something dark and different, this one's for you!
August 18, 2020
this was the most stressful book i’ve ever fucking read in my life like each one of these characters are pathetic as fuck
February 26, 2020
MY REVIEW AND OTHERS: can also be found on my blog:
➽ KITTY KATS CRAZY ABOUT BOOKS
'ECSTASY:' Is a full length dark romance novel by new to me author K.V. Rose. Spoken in third person POV's.
A few hours later and I'm still reeling from this book and all the shit that went down in it, the angst, all the triggers that I couldn't hide from, those bitches were up in my face. I read this like a female on crack, inhaled it, devoured it, so now I'm sitting here wondering what the everloving fuck did I just read!! This book was insane..Intense..And made me happy that my only addiction is chocolate!!
This is not your typical romance book. I don't want to go into this fully because every which way I want to write up this review will reveal too many spoilers. If you're brave to tackle this one, go in blind, it's the best way to indulge.this author has gone where many have not gone before, it's in your face, you can't hide from it. This author is definitely on my radar now, she's one I'll be keeping a close eye on.
Let's talk about our main characters for a bit: Zara, Eli, and Alex
Zara is a complex heroine, she uses substances just to be somewhat normal, to be accepted, it's the only time she feels in control, basically it's the only time she feels. But even though she denies she has a problem she's spiraling out of control. I found it really hard connecting with her character, the girl who cheated, the girl who slept around, times I hated her, but towards the end I empathised with her. I could even go so far as to say she grew on me.
Alex, hides his anger issues down deep which pops its ugly head up when he's amongst his fellow peers drinking, he does some questionable things to Zara, which had a few red flags popping up, he's lost and floundering just like the rest of them. But delve deeper and he's got a heart of gold. But it does take him a while to reveal that side.
Eli, is our dark dangerous broken character, he wants to control Zara, the chase is what gets him off, to own, to manipulate. One to steer clear of.
It's their senior year in college. Alex the hot quarterback and Zara have been in a volatile and some what toxic relationship for 6 months.
Alex and his best friend Eli who is a wrestler has lived with Alex for 3 years. When Zara sees a girl kiss Alex, like a domino affect it all comes crashing down around their ears.
These characters are broken in their own ways. Each of them are flawed. It's dark, it's gritty, it's chaotic. It will pull you in. You'll either hate it or love it..
This is college life, the parties, the overindulging in all substances, the sleeping around, the cheating, it's a toxic train wreck..This was a roller coaster derailing, the highs and lows made me so thankful for my boring mundane life lol This book is not for the faint of heart!
October 2, 2023
ೃ⁀➷ 4.5 stars *ੈ✩‧₊˚
All the MCs in this book: Stable? That’s for horses.
𝗦𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲:
I don’t wanna read Eli’s book, not bc I despise him or whatever, but bc I cannot take the heartache of rooting for a character/ship that ik is not gna end well.
𝗦𝗼𝗻𝗴𝘀: 🎧
Different - Chris grey
Thorns - Mira (sped up)
Lovely liar — Stevie Howie
Pretty pills — BOBI ANDONOV
Bad habit — Carlyn
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
’This is not a relationship guide.
This is not a recovery manual.
This is not a handbook on mental health.
This is a dark romance that holds a special place in my heart.
Enjoy.’
There’s only sm wholesome books I can take 🌝 need me some dysfunctional fuckers to balance things out 🧚♀️
All the MCs in this book: Stable? That’s for horses.
𝗦𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲:
I don’t wanna read Eli’s book, not bc I despise him or whatever, but bc I cannot take the heartache of rooting for a character/ship that ik is not gna end well.
𝗦𝗼𝗻𝗴𝘀: 🎧
Different - Chris grey
Thorns - Mira (sped up)
Lovely liar — Stevie Howie
Pretty pills — BOBI ANDONOV
Bad habit — Carlyn
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
’This is not a relationship guide.
This is not a recovery manual.
This is not a handbook on mental health.
This is a dark romance that holds a special place in my heart.
Enjoy.’
There’s only sm wholesome books I can take 🌝 need me some dysfunctional fuckers to balance things out 🧚♀️
September 6, 2020
Why take drugs, when you can read this book instead?
ecstasy
ec·sta·sy | /ˈɛkstəsi/
noun
1. an overwhelming feeling of great happiness or joyful excitement.
2. an amphetamine-based recreational drug having euphoric effects, typically taken in the form of a pill.
3. an emotional or religious frenzy or trance-like state, originally one involving an experience of mystic self-transcendence.
If you're looking for a safe book. Let me stop you here and tell you that Ecstasy won't be the book for you. This book has so many trigger warnings: drug abuse/addiction, murder, violence, cheating.
If you're looking for likeable characters, then this book is also not the right place to look. The three main characters: Zara, Alex & Eli are fifty shades of fucked up. They are all villains in their own rights. Some of them do worse things than others, but believe me these characters are not people you want to be friends with.
These characters are more complex than that, but if I would describe each of them in a few words then it would be:
Zara: the drug addict whose life is out of control, but like an addict she doesn't think she has a problem
Eli: the quiet & dark guy who hides his psycho side really well.
Alex: the quarterback with a huge anger management problem.
If your're looking for healthy relationships, then I'd advise you to look somewhere different. There is so much toxicity and dysfunctionality. Zara, Eli and Alex are all messed up in the head. Zara is in a on/off relationship with Alex whose flatmate and best friend Eli has set his eyes on her. Their relationship is not something I normally would root for.
Ecstasy was such a train wreck to read.
➛ So WHY even bother reading this?
⤷ It is a train wreck, but who said train wrecks can't be fun?
⤷ It is different.
⤷ It is a mess, but it is an entertaining mess.
⤷ Villains make the most complex characters.
⤷ Sometimes you just want to read something that is out of your comfort zone and doesn't go with the same formula.
I must say that the ending of this book is bittersweet. I would say it ends with a happy ending or as happy as these twisted characters can be.
I'm excited for Eli's book Sinister. After the ending in Ecstasy I have no idea where K.V. Rose is going with this book, but it's going to be interesting because Eli is a psychopath, but not the good kind where he is actually a good guy underneath. He is the bad guy, but even the bad guys fall in love. So that's going to be fascinating.
Also the way K.V. Rose exposed me? Not nice. ✨I'm triggered✨
➢ 3.75 stars
ecstasy
ec·sta·sy | /ˈɛkstəsi/
noun
1. an overwhelming feeling of great happiness or joyful excitement.
2. an amphetamine-based recreational drug having euphoric effects, typically taken in the form of a pill.
3. an emotional or religious frenzy or trance-like state, originally one involving an experience of mystic self-transcendence.
She's not broken.
She's not looking for someone to save her.
She's looking for someone to drown with her.
If you're looking for a safe book. Let me stop you here and tell you that Ecstasy won't be the book for you. This book has so many trigger warnings: drug abuse/addiction, murder, violence, cheating.
If you're looking for likeable characters, then this book is also not the right place to look. The three main characters: Zara, Alex & Eli are fifty shades of fucked up. They are all villains in their own rights. Some of them do worse things than others, but believe me these characters are not people you want to be friends with.
These characters are more complex than that, but if I would describe each of them in a few words then it would be:
Zara: the drug addict whose life is out of control, but like an addict she doesn't think she has a problem
Eli: the quiet & dark guy who hides his psycho side really well.
Alex: the quarterback with a huge anger management problem.
If your're looking for healthy relationships, then I'd advise you to look somewhere different. There is so much toxicity and dysfunctionality. Zara, Eli and Alex are all messed up in the head. Zara is in a on/off relationship with Alex whose flatmate and best friend Eli has set his eyes on her. Their relationship is not something I normally would root for.
Ecstasy was such a train wreck to read.
➛ So WHY even bother reading this?
⤷ It is a train wreck, but who said train wrecks can't be fun?
⤷ It is different.
⤷ It is a mess, but it is an entertaining mess.
⤷ Villains make the most complex characters.
⤷ Sometimes you just want to read something that is out of your comfort zone and doesn't go with the same formula.
I don't want to learn about why people are fucked up. I am one of those people, and I've realised the "why" doesn't fucking matter. Knowing the root cause doesn't change the disease where my mind is concerned.
I must say that the ending of this book is bittersweet. I would say it ends with a happy ending or as happy as these twisted characters can be.
I'm excited for Eli's book Sinister. After the ending in Ecstasy I have no idea where K.V. Rose is going with this book, but it's going to be interesting because Eli is a psychopath, but not the good kind where he is actually a good guy underneath. He is the bad guy, but even the bad guys fall in love. So that's going to be fascinating.
Also the way K.V. Rose exposed me? Not nice. ✨I'm triggered✨
That's why girls like assholes, I think to myself. There's something appealing about being with a man who does not give a single fuck about anything. Anything but you.
➢ 3.75 stars
December 4, 2020
THE ANGST. It hurts so good.
You know once in a while I would come across a book that is just so deranged, like, totally f-up and yet I find myself just completely glued to it that it’s a little bit unsettling. Seeing how much satisfaction I derive from this sometimes makes me wonder if I am actually messed up too? Like how do I find this shit so enthralling, you know?
Reading this book, I had a strong flashback to two years ago when I was reading Pieces of Us
That book stayed with me for so long after I finished. It still does when I have occasions to think about it. The same with reading this one these past few days. It’s vile and intense and sure as as hell TWISTED: It just hurts soooooo good.
People (case in point: ME) are weird man! L O L
This NA is certainly NOT SUITABLE for everyone.
You know once in a while I would come across a book that is just so deranged, like, totally f-up and yet I find myself just completely glued to it that it’s a little bit unsettling. Seeing how much satisfaction I derive from this sometimes makes me wonder if I am actually messed up too? Like how do I find this shit so enthralling, you know?
Reading this book, I had a strong flashback to two years ago when I was reading Pieces of Us
That book stayed with me for so long after I finished. It still does when I have occasions to think about it. The same with reading this one these past few days. It’s vile and intense and sure as as hell TWISTED: It just hurts soooooo good.
People (case in point: ME) are weird man! L O L
This NA is certainly NOT SUITABLE for everyone.
Did Not Finish
October 7, 2023naur this shit is too deranged for me. these characters are all psychotic. the first chapter is literally one of the mmcs drugging, flashing, and trying to drown the fmc because she cheated on him, then him and the other mmc about to fuck her while shes drunk and high as fuck. then at the end of this chapter theres a dead girl at the bottom of the pool? no bc this has to be the wildest first chapter i’ve ever read about. my brain can’t take any more of this icl. i read 11 more chapters but im gonna dnf here because i already know these characters will never be redeemable in my eyes so there’s no point in wasting my time 🧘♀️
quotes:
“i feel my dick growing hard at the sight of her. knowing i could take her right here. right fucking now. even if she put up a fight, no one would hear her scream.”
this happens on page 1, why did i continue?
“open your fucking mouth or i’ll break your goddamn teeth.”
this man is sick in the head. all this because she threw his drink in his face after he flashed her tits in front of everyone at the party.
in my head they all die at the end.
quotes:
“i feel my dick growing hard at the sight of her. knowing i could take her right here. right fucking now. even if she put up a fight, no one would hear her scream.”
this happens on page 1, why did i continue?
“open your fucking mouth or i’ll break your goddamn teeth.”
this man is sick in the head. all this because she threw his drink in his face after he flashed her tits in front of everyone at the party.
in my head they all die at the end.
January 2, 2021
First attempt: I've read one chapter.
ONE chapter. And it was enough for a lifetime. So brb I'll continue when I feel more self-destructive.
---------------
Second attempt: Oh hello. You're on the weird side of GR again? Welcome.
As you can see I am back, self destruction mode on and ready to rant.
Lots of quotes included luvs, can't let you forget how fucked up these people are:)
3 stars
Let me introduce to you the most screwed in the head characters you'll ever have the pleasure of reading
Zara Rose
- Drug addict
- Party girl
- Cheated in every relationship she had
- self harms
- Daddy issues
- Nonchalant
- Liar
Alex Cardi
- Star quarterback
- Pastor's son
- Zara's bf
- Has anger issues
- Was rumoured to be in a rape scandal
- Mother is a drug addict
- Liar
Eli Addison
- Alex's roommate/best friend
- Loner
- All dark & mysterious and shit
- Psychopath
- Got an obsession with Zara
- Sadist
- Mommy issues
- Liar
As you can tell everyone is a fucking liar in this book. I'm pretty sure Zara is just wired to pathologically lie all the time to everyone.
Now, why don't we come back to the very reason I had paused this book for four entire months, the first chapter.
WARNING
The following includes details of chapter 1. There's no major spoilers to the plot, so your experience won't be ruined by reading it.
EDIT: Everyone is freaked out abt that 1st chapter and I am here to tell you. Yes, it's 50 shades of what the fuck is wrong with them. Yes, it almost sucked my soul out and demolished my will to live. Yes, I took months to prepare myself for this mentally, and it was basically for nothing. Because after that first chapter, everything sorta levels out. The characters are still unlikable but tolerable and actually fascinating to read about. There is obviously still fucked up shit going on throughout the book but I just kinda....got used to it? What I'm trying to say, It really isn't that horrible (or maybe I am just extremely fucked up idk), I've definitely read worse.
Okay back to the review!
You know what, with all that being said, this really wasn't as insane as I thought it would be. Apart from the fucked up characters there was nothing special about this story. Nothing was really happening apart from Zara & Alex's dysfunctional relationship and her cheating on him with Eli.
I wouldn't call this a mystery because we all knew that Rihanna's death was not an accident and who caused it. Which by the way was revealed to be exactly who you thought it was, no grand schemes or plot twists, all very predictable. I don't know if I would categorise this as romance & I wouldn't call it a thriller either.
I'll just settle on erotic suspense.
This book also felt really short. I wanted to see more. I wish the struggle of quitting drugs & the pain of withdrawal was included. Zara quit so easily it was unbelievable.
In that first chapter, Eli seemed so great but fuuuuck me when I tell you that man is insane. I wanted more of him, he had the potential to become such an enigmatic, intriguing character but the ending prevented that. I wasn't exactly sad for the way things ended for Eli, but I was disappointed for such a waste of a potentially amazing character.
I'm not mad about how the book ended though, very fitting even if very abrupt.
I know this may come as a surprise but Alex was literally the best of the trio. He was the only one who was the closest to being a normal fucking person.
Also can I say Zara & Alex gave off such strong Maddie & Nate vibes
Nevertheless, I am glad I finished this book. It was a shitshow I thoroughly enjoyed but couldn't give more than 3 stars for the reasons I stated above.
I did learn one valuable lesson though. My anxious ass won't be taking Xanax any time soon
TRIGGERS:
ONE chapter. And it was enough for a lifetime. So brb I'll continue when I feel more self-destructive.
---------------
Second attempt: Oh hello. You're on the weird side of GR again? Welcome.
As you can see I am back, self destruction mode on and ready to rant.
Lots of quotes included luvs, can't let you forget how fucked up these people are:)
3 stars
Let me introduce to you the most screwed in the head characters you'll ever have the pleasure of reading
Zara Rose
- Drug addict
- Party girl
- Cheated in every relationship she had
- self harms
- Daddy issues
- Nonchalant
- Liar
I don't know. I don't know why I'm like this. I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't even have a bad childhood to blame this shit on. I don't have a horror story. I'm all fucked up, and I don't know why
Alex Cardi
- Star quarterback
- Pastor's son
- Zara's bf
- Has anger issues
- Was rumoured to be in a rape scandal
- Mother is a drug addict
- Liar
Eli Addison
- Alex's roommate/best friend
- Loner
- All dark & mysterious and shit
- Psychopath
- Got an obsession with Zara
- Sadist
- Mommy issues
- Liar
As you can tell everyone is a fucking liar in this book. I'm pretty sure Zara is just wired to pathologically lie all the time to everyone.
Now, why don't we come back to the very reason I had paused this book for four entire months, the first chapter.
WARNING
The following includes details of chapter 1. There's no major spoilers to the plot, so your experience won't be ruined by reading it.
EDIT: Everyone is freaked out abt that 1st chapter and I am here to tell you. Yes, it's 50 shades of what the fuck is wrong with them. Yes, it almost sucked my soul out and demolished my will to live. Yes, I took months to prepare myself for this mentally, and it was basically for nothing. Because after that first chapter, everything sorta levels out. The characters are still unlikable but tolerable and actually fascinating to read about. There is obviously still fucked up shit going on throughout the book but I just kinda....got used to it? What I'm trying to say, It really isn't that horrible (or maybe I am just extremely fucked up idk), I've definitely read worse.
Okay back to the review!
You know what, with all that being said, this really wasn't as insane as I thought it would be. Apart from the fucked up characters there was nothing special about this story. Nothing was really happening apart from Zara & Alex's dysfunctional relationship and her cheating on him with Eli.
I wouldn't call this a mystery because we all knew that Rihanna's death was not an accident and who caused it. Which by the way was revealed to be exactly who you thought it was, no grand schemes or plot twists, all very predictable. I don't know if I would categorise this as romance & I wouldn't call it a thriller either.
I'll just settle on erotic suspense.
This book also felt really short. I wanted to see more. I wish the struggle of quitting drugs & the pain of withdrawal was included. Zara quit so easily it was unbelievable.
In that first chapter, Eli seemed so great but fuuuuck me when I tell you that man is insane. I wanted more of him, he had the potential to become such an enigmatic, intriguing character but the ending prevented that. I wasn't exactly sad for the way things ended for Eli, but I was disappointed for such a waste of a potentially amazing character.
I'm not mad about how the book ended though, very fitting even if very abrupt.
I know this may come as a surprise but Alex was literally the best of the trio. He was the only one who was the closest to being a normal fucking person.
Clearly, she's drunk off her ass. It's amazing, how I want to kill her and save her all at the same time. I'm not sure which I'll end up doing tonight.
Also can I say Zara & Alex gave off such strong Maddie & Nate vibes
When Alex isn't calling me a "druggie whore", he sticks with "princess".
Nevertheless, I am glad I finished this book. It was a shitshow I thoroughly enjoyed but couldn't give more than 3 stars for the reasons I stated above.
I did learn one valuable lesson though. My anxious ass won't be taking Xanax any time soon
TRIGGERS:
September 2, 2026
ִ ࣪𖤐.ᐟ ❛ 𝑤𝑒'𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑎𝑑𝑑𝑖𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔. 𝑑𝑟𝑢𝑔𝑠 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑔𝑎𝑙. ❜ ࣪ ˖ 𖦹°⋆
✧˖°. ┆★★★★ ¼ — 𝟰.𝟮𝟱 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘀
ⓘ 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑟𝑒𝑣𝑖𝑒𝑤 𝑚𝑎𝑦 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝑠𝑝𝑜𝑖𝑙𝑒𝑟𝑠
₊ 💊 ⊹ 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑠 ⋆˚࿔
genuinely some of the craziest shit i think i've ever read. that was such a crazy experience i swear it unlocked feelings and reactions in me i didn't know i had, like i can prolly count on one hand the number of times i've gone that insane reading smth. i think this is one of those books that's either like a one star or a five star for ppl. i think i would recommend it?? if u like drama, messy, toxic relationships, something that will keep u guessing and make u feel everything, then yeah, i reckon you'd enjoy this. it is really dark tho, and i agree that the first chapter especially is VERY jarring (PLEASE check the tws if u plan on reading this), but reflecting on it after finishing i actually think it kind of makes sense for it to be that way?? there's a lot of controversy abt the first chapter, which i totally understand, but i just think it makes sense for the story. this is NOT me justifying everything that happened btw, just an opinion on this work of FICTION.
the first three quarters of this kinda rlly dragged for me, like i was invested and semi-enjoying it, but it only really hit me at abt 300 pgs in, which was kind of disappointing and annoying. buttt it was all SO worth it bcuz the last quarter of this book was pretty amazing. i was screaming and sobbing like i was the one high or smth, and it was exactly the type of devastating, questionable read i was looking for. i think i quite like reading abt addicts (sounds odd, ik) their stories are always so devastating and also hopeful and really beautiful and i love that.
💚 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠 ⊹₊⟡⋆
🌀 𝑧𝑎𝑟𝑎 𝑟𝑜𝑠𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛 ⋆˚꩜｡
sigh. i love that girl 🫶 there's a soft spot in my heart for every mentally troubled and struggling character i read about because i connect to them all so deeply, and when i tell u my heart was ACHINGGG for my baby zara 😭 i actually liked how she was an addict just bcuz, not as a result of a bad childhood or trauma, but just bcuz. i think it showed the other side of struggles like addiction rlly nicely bcuz whilst a lot of the time it stems from something, sometimes it doesn't, and that doesn't make it any less real. here's a quote i rlly like on that:
i loved zara bcuz she was so raw and real, and she was also super funny and sarcastic and openly hated everyone so much it made me cackle. i LOVED being in her pov.
🔥 𝑎𝑙𝑒𝑥 𝑐ℎ𝑟𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑎𝑛 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑖 ⋆.˚ ❦.
okay so at the start and for most of the book he RLLY pmo like i think i flinched at some points his anger issues were crazy 😬 BUT THENNN HE HAD THE GREATEST COMEBACK AND HE WAS RLLY SWEET AND LOVING AND CARING AND FUNNY AND CUTE AND AGHHH LOVE HIM <3 that's all :) i'm srry i ever doubted u king
🖤 𝑒𝑙𝑖 𝑎𝑑𝑜𝑛𝑖𝑠 𝑎𝑑𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑜𝑛 ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆
...no comment. no like i rlly was rooting for him at the start bcuz yeah he seemed sm better for zara but then his TRUE colours showed and uhhh haha no 💀 i reckon that was kinda the whole point tho so props to miss author she did well 👏 anyway i don't know if i'll read his books (why tf r there THREE btw??) i might cuz i'm curious but i'm also pretty content w how it ended so maybe maybe not 🫠
❤️🩹 𝑟𝑜𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒 𐙚⋆°｡⋆♡
i actually hate love triangles 👀 but this was done in a way that i didn't totally hate it, surprisingly enough. i could never tell who she was going to end up with, which was torture but i loved it, and it rlly worked for the toxic, twisted relationship the three of them were in. they both had their appeals and their flaws to her, and honestly i could kind of understand zara bcuz i was switching favs too.
I'M ASHAMED TO SAY THAT I WAS ROOTING FOR ELI FOR MOST OF THE BOOK BCUZ WTF WAS THAT but it's okay now bcuz alex and zara are MARRIEDDDDDAGH that epilogue was so cute i love them sm (also side note: the jax appearance in the epilogue was so great i always liked him he's a real one <3) HE CALLED HER PRINCESSSSSS (I FREAKING LOVE THAT NICKNAME) AND SHE CALLED HIM HANDSOMEEE AGHHH THEY'RE SO CUTIEEE <3 him helping her overcome her addiction and caring so much for her made me so happy it was one of my fav parts of the whole book i love them i love themmmmm 😩
🎧 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 ‧₊ ♪˚⊹
⤿ marijuana - adela
⤿ boys - adela
⤿ bad girls never die - nessa barrett
⤿ heaven and back - chase atlantic
⤿ void - melanie martinez
⤿ reflections - the neighbourhood
⤿ nda - billie eilish
⤿ sex, drugs, etc. - beach weather
⤿ special to you - nessa barrett
⤿ xanny - billie eilish
ılı.lıllılıı.ıllı..
𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑙𝑦 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 ‧₊ ♪˚⊹
void ❘ melanie martinez
0:57 ──•───── -3:09
⇆ㅤ ◁◁ ❚❚ ▷▷ㅤ ↻
⁀➴
⋆˚꩜｡ ❛𝑝𝑖𝑝𝑒 𝑑𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑖𝑠𝑒, 𝑖 𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑚𝑦 𝑠𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑜𝑤
𝑖 ℎ𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑖 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒
𝑖 𝑓𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑖 𝑤𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑒𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑎𝑦 𝑡𝑜𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑜𝑤
𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑒 𝑖𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠 ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑙 ❜ ˖ ݁♬⋆.˚𝄞
💌 𝑞𝑢𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑠 ⛧⋆˚࿔⋆
✧ ❛ 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑏𝑎𝑑 𝑖𝑠 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑒, 𝑖 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑙 ℎ𝑖𝑚. 𝑖'𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑏𝑎𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔. ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑦 𝑓𝑢𝑐𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓. ❜
✧ ❛ 𝑖'𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑠𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑒'𝑠 𝑎𝑑𝑑𝑖𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑖 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑓 𝑖𝑡 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑚𝑒, 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑚𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑏𝑒 𝑎 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑡 𝑎𝑙𝑙. ❜
✧ ❛ 𝑖 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒𝑔 ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑜 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑒 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑖 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑠ℎ𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑦 ℎ𝑎𝑠. 𝑖 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑠ℎ𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑤𝑒 𝑏𝑜𝑡ℎ 𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑠, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑛𝑒𝑖𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑜𝑓 𝑢𝑠 𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠. 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑤𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑔𝑟𝑜𝑤 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑖𝑡. 𝑖𝑡'𝑠 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑔𝑟𝑜𝑤𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑢𝑝, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡. 𝑡𝑜𝑔𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟, 𝑤𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡. ❜
✧ ❛ 𝑖𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑠 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒, 𝑔𝑖𝑟𝑙𝑠 𝑑𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑏𝑜𝑦𝑠. 𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦, 𝑓𝑖𝑔𝑢𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑙𝑦, 𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑠 𝑜𝑟 𝑛𝑜𝑡. 𝑖𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑠 𝑓𝑎𝑟 𝑡𝑜𝑜 𝑜𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑛, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑛𝑜 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑠. 𝑛𝑜 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑠, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑖 𝑤𝑎𝑠𝑛'𝑡 𝑎𝑛 𝑒𝑥𝑐𝑒𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛. 𝑖𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑'𝑣𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑚𝑒. ❜
⊹ ﹒ ⁺ ﹒ ⊹ ﹒ ⁺ ﹒ ⊹ ﹒ ⁺ ﹒ ⊹ ﹒ ⁺ ﹒ ⊹ ﹒ ⁺ ﹒ ⊹ ﹒ ⁺ ﹒ ⊹
⋆˚꩜｡ ┆ 𝑝𝑟𝑒-𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑 .ᐟ ₊ 💊 ⊹
searching for smth to make me question my life a bit and this is looking like it will do just that
✧˖°. ┆★★★★ ¼ — 𝟰.𝟮𝟱 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘀
ⓘ 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑟𝑒𝑣𝑖𝑒𝑤 𝑚𝑎𝑦 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝑠𝑝𝑜𝑖𝑙𝑒𝑟𝑠
₊ 💊 ⊹ 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑠 ⋆˚࿔
genuinely some of the craziest shit i think i've ever read. that was such a crazy experience i swear it unlocked feelings and reactions in me i didn't know i had, like i can prolly count on one hand the number of times i've gone that insane reading smth. i think this is one of those books that's either like a one star or a five star for ppl. i think i would recommend it?? if u like drama, messy, toxic relationships, something that will keep u guessing and make u feel everything, then yeah, i reckon you'd enjoy this. it is really dark tho, and i agree that the first chapter especially is VERY jarring (PLEASE check the tws if u plan on reading this), but reflecting on it after finishing i actually think it kind of makes sense for it to be that way?? there's a lot of controversy abt the first chapter, which i totally understand, but i just think it makes sense for the story. this is NOT me justifying everything that happened btw, just an opinion on this work of FICTION.
the first three quarters of this kinda rlly dragged for me, like i was invested and semi-enjoying it, but it only really hit me at abt 300 pgs in, which was kind of disappointing and annoying. buttt it was all SO worth it bcuz the last quarter of this book was pretty amazing. i was screaming and sobbing like i was the one high or smth, and it was exactly the type of devastating, questionable read i was looking for. i think i quite like reading abt addicts (sounds odd, ik) their stories are always so devastating and also hopeful and really beautiful and i love that.
💚 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠 ⊹₊⟡⋆
🌀 𝑧𝑎𝑟𝑎 𝑟𝑜𝑠𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛 ⋆˚꩜｡
sigh. i love that girl 🫶 there's a soft spot in my heart for every mentally troubled and struggling character i read about because i connect to them all so deeply, and when i tell u my heart was ACHINGGG for my baby zara 😭 i actually liked how she was an addict just bcuz, not as a result of a bad childhood or trauma, but just bcuz. i think it showed the other side of struggles like addiction rlly nicely bcuz whilst a lot of the time it stems from something, sometimes it doesn't, and that doesn't make it any less real. here's a quote i rlly like on that:
❛ 𝑖 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑛 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑤ℎ𝑦 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑓𝑢𝑐𝑘𝑒𝑑 𝑢𝑝. 𝑖 𝑎𝑚 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑖'𝑣𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 ❛𝑤ℎ𝑦❜ 𝑑𝑜𝑒𝑠𝑛'𝑡 𝑓𝑢𝑐𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟. 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑟𝑜𝑜𝑡 𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑑𝑜𝑒𝑠𝑛'𝑡 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑚𝑦 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑠 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑑. ❜
i loved zara bcuz she was so raw and real, and she was also super funny and sarcastic and openly hated everyone so much it made me cackle. i LOVED being in her pov.
🔥 𝑎𝑙𝑒𝑥 𝑐ℎ𝑟𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑎𝑛 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑖 ⋆.˚ ❦.
okay so at the start and for most of the book he RLLY pmo like i think i flinched at some points his anger issues were crazy 😬 BUT THENNN HE HAD THE GREATEST COMEBACK AND HE WAS RLLY SWEET AND LOVING AND CARING AND FUNNY AND CUTE AND AGHHH LOVE HIM <3 that's all :) i'm srry i ever doubted u king
🖤 𝑒𝑙𝑖 𝑎𝑑𝑜𝑛𝑖𝑠 𝑎𝑑𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑜𝑛 ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆
...no comment. no like i rlly was rooting for him at the start bcuz yeah he seemed sm better for zara but then his TRUE colours showed and uhhh haha no 💀 i reckon that was kinda the whole point tho so props to miss author she did well 👏 anyway i don't know if i'll read his books (why tf r there THREE btw??) i might cuz i'm curious but i'm also pretty content w how it ended so maybe maybe not 🫠
❤️🩹 𝑟𝑜𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒 𐙚⋆°｡⋆♡
i actually hate love triangles 👀 but this was done in a way that i didn't totally hate it, surprisingly enough. i could never tell who she was going to end up with, which was torture but i loved it, and it rlly worked for the toxic, twisted relationship the three of them were in. they both had their appeals and their flaws to her, and honestly i could kind of understand zara bcuz i was switching favs too.
I'M ASHAMED TO SAY THAT I WAS ROOTING FOR ELI FOR MOST OF THE BOOK BCUZ WTF WAS THAT but it's okay now bcuz alex and zara are MARRIEDDDDDAGH that epilogue was so cute i love them sm (also side note: the jax appearance in the epilogue was so great i always liked him he's a real one <3) HE CALLED HER PRINCESSSSSS (I FREAKING LOVE THAT NICKNAME) AND SHE CALLED HIM HANDSOMEEE AGHHH THEY'RE SO CUTIEEE <3 him helping her overcome her addiction and caring so much for her made me so happy it was one of my fav parts of the whole book i love them i love themmmmm 😩
🎧 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 ‧₊ ♪˚⊹
⤿ marijuana - adela
⤿ boys - adela
⤿ bad girls never die - nessa barrett
⤿ heaven and back - chase atlantic
⤿ void - melanie martinez
⤿ reflections - the neighbourhood
⤿ nda - billie eilish
⤿ sex, drugs, etc. - beach weather
⤿ special to you - nessa barrett
⤿ xanny - billie eilish
ılı.lıllılıı.ıllı..
𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑙𝑦 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 ‧₊ ♪˚⊹
void ❘ melanie martinez
0:57 ──•───── -3:09
⇆ㅤ ◁◁ ❚❚ ▷▷ㅤ ↻
⁀➴
⋆˚꩜｡ ❛𝑝𝑖𝑝𝑒 𝑑𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑖𝑠𝑒, 𝑖 𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑚𝑦 𝑠𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑜𝑤
𝑖 ℎ𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑖 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒
𝑖 𝑓𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑖 𝑤𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑒𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑎𝑦 𝑡𝑜𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑜𝑤
𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑒 𝑖𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠 ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑙 ❜ ˖ ݁♬⋆.˚𝄞
💌 𝑞𝑢𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑠 ⛧⋆˚࿔⋆
✧ ❛ 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑏𝑎𝑑 𝑖𝑠 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑒, 𝑖 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑙 ℎ𝑖𝑚. 𝑖'𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑏𝑎𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔. ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑦 𝑓𝑢𝑐𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓. ❜
✧ ❛ 𝑖'𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑠𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑒'𝑠 𝑎𝑑𝑑𝑖𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑖 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑓 𝑖𝑡 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑚𝑒, 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑚𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑏𝑒 𝑎 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑡 𝑎𝑙𝑙. ❜
✧ ❛ 𝑖 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒𝑔 ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑜 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑒 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑖 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑠ℎ𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑦 ℎ𝑎𝑠. 𝑖 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑠ℎ𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑤𝑒 𝑏𝑜𝑡ℎ 𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑠, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑛𝑒𝑖𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑜𝑓 𝑢𝑠 𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠. 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑤𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑔𝑟𝑜𝑤 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑖𝑡. 𝑖𝑡'𝑠 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑔𝑟𝑜𝑤𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑢𝑝, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡. 𝑡𝑜𝑔𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟, 𝑤𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡. ❜
✧ ❛ 𝑖𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑠 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒, 𝑔𝑖𝑟𝑙𝑠 𝑑𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑏𝑜𝑦𝑠. 𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦, 𝑓𝑖𝑔𝑢𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑙𝑦, 𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑠 𝑜𝑟 𝑛𝑜𝑡. 𝑖𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑠 𝑓𝑎𝑟 𝑡𝑜𝑜 𝑜𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑛, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑛𝑜 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑠. 𝑛𝑜 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑠, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑖 𝑤𝑎𝑠𝑛'𝑡 𝑎𝑛 𝑒𝑥𝑐𝑒𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛. 𝑖𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑'𝑣𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑚𝑒. ❜
⊹ ﹒ ⁺ ﹒ ⊹ ﹒ ⁺ ﹒ ⊹ ﹒ ⁺ ﹒ ⊹ ﹒ ⁺ ﹒ ⊹ ﹒ ⁺ ﹒ ⊹ ﹒ ⁺ ﹒ ⊹
⋆˚꩜｡ ┆ 𝑝𝑟𝑒-𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑 .ᐟ ₊ 💊 ⊹
searching for smth to make me question my life a bit and this is looking like it will do just that
April 30, 2020
4 Stars
Overall Opinion: What a rollercoaster! This was crazy from page one!! I read someone’s tag saying this was a “reverse harem” story, so I had that in the back of my mind all along — but just to put it out there, this is NOT what I consider that type of story! It’s a mess of drugs, alcohol, sex, and anger! Dark indeed! I feel like I need a super fluffy book now 🙈. I’m not sure how I think it could’ve played out any other way, but I was greedy until the end and didn’t like feeling insecure in Zara’s ending. Other than that, I enjoyed this! Definitely NOT for everyone and if you think it might touch on one of your triggers, please read my Triggers spoiler below before jumping in.
Brief Summary of the Storyline: This is Zara’s story. I’m not going to say much of anything here because I really feel as though it is best going in blind. It’s NOT unicorns and rainbows for sure! ...just read the blurb...and my trigger warning 😉
Point Of View (POV): This alternated between Zara, Alex, and Eli’s POV.
Overall Pace of Story: Great! I read this sucker quick. I was fully engaged from cover to cover and never skimmed.
h (heroine) rating: 4 stars. Zara. What a hot mess. I couldn’t help but like her regardless of her disfunction.
Sadness level: Moderate. I shed some tears but I never needed any tissues.
Heat level: Hot. They have some hot tension, chemistry, and scenes -- but not so much it takes away from the story.
Descriptive sex: Yes
OW (Other Woman)/OM (Other Man) drama: Yes!
Sex scene with OW or OM: Yes
Cheating: Yes
Possible Triggers: Yes
Closure: This ends with what I would call a HEA ending. It’s still a little unstable for my liking, but it does give closure
Safety: This one is probably Not Safe for most safety gang readers.
Overall Opinion: What a rollercoaster! This was crazy from page one!! I read someone’s tag saying this was a “reverse harem” story, so I had that in the back of my mind all along — but just to put it out there, this is NOT what I consider that type of story! It’s a mess of drugs, alcohol, sex, and anger! Dark indeed! I feel like I need a super fluffy book now 🙈. I’m not sure how I think it could’ve played out any other way, but I was greedy until the end and didn’t like feeling insecure in Zara’s ending. Other than that, I enjoyed this! Definitely NOT for everyone and if you think it might touch on one of your triggers, please read my Triggers spoiler below before jumping in.
Brief Summary of the Storyline: This is Zara’s story. I’m not going to say much of anything here because I really feel as though it is best going in blind. It’s NOT unicorns and rainbows for sure! ...just read the blurb...and my trigger warning 😉
Point Of View (POV): This alternated between Zara, Alex, and Eli’s POV.
Overall Pace of Story: Great! I read this sucker quick. I was fully engaged from cover to cover and never skimmed.
h (heroine) rating: 4 stars. Zara. What a hot mess. I couldn’t help but like her regardless of her disfunction.
Sadness level: Moderate. I shed some tears but I never needed any tissues.
Heat level: Hot. They have some hot tension, chemistry, and scenes -- but not so much it takes away from the story.
Descriptive sex: Yes
OW (Other Woman)/OM (Other Man) drama: Yes!
Sex scene with OW or OM: Yes
Cheating: Yes
Possible Triggers: Yes
Closure: This ends with what I would call a HEA ending. It’s still a little unstable for my liking, but it does give closure
Safety: This one is probably Not Safe for most safety gang readers.
April 11, 2021
3.5 Stars
In theory, this book should not have worked for me. In practice, reading this trainwreck of a story about these horrible fucking people made me feel so easy, breezy, beautiful you have no idea.
The threesome/sharing aspect was the reason I didn't wanna pick this up, but somehow it worked for me here. When Zara/Alex/Eli all hooked up in the first chapter, it set me up to be scared and intrigued by Eli's character. Up until that point, Eli almost seemed like the safer choice for Zara, showing levels of care towards her when Alex was taking his hazing too far. But coming off of the threesome scene I felt genuinely scared of Eli's flatlined emotions and casual cruelty. He seemed truly Sinister all of sudden. Like... the dude pretty much tried to rip her vagina. I don't really know
What I'm supposed to do with that. You know what I didn't love though? When he'd say shit like this:
I also hated 'baby girl'. Every time Eli would call her that it would give me 'Are you lost?' flashbacks to the 365 Days movie and I don't need that type of energy in my life 🤚🏽 It would take lines that were supposed to be dramatic and foreboding like:
And make me think this:
I went into this book expecting to love Eli and hate Alex, but for most of it I felt the opposite. I thought the connection that Eli 'shared' with Zara felt made up in his head and all their conversations were him ominously repeating that he liked her scars, but they'd never really delve that deep into it. It was such a shame bc he has all the qualities of my favorite type of boy:
✔ mysterious
✔ dark
✔ psycho
✔ obsessive
✔ takes things too far
But as the book went on I started to feel like Eli was a two-faced lil bitch that I kinda wanted to fight, bc he was playing kiddie games and being a petty lil gossip instead of giving me what I wanted.
but then.
BUT THEN.
the guy brings it back
AND I WAS LOVING ITTTTT
Damn I can't wait for Eli's book. Now onto Alex. Alex is an interesting character because I assumed I'd hate him, but even when he was doing really unforgivable things in Chapter 1:
→ pulling Zara's bikini down and flashing her tits to an entire party
→ slamming her onto a counter and shoving a bottle of vodka in her mouth, making her choke on it
→ trying to drown her in a pool
→ abusing her drug addiction to blackmail her into a threesome
I still never disliked the guy. It's the mystery of the universe. I know when you list all those things out like that it sounds awful, but for me he was still just a likable guy. And also as the book went on when you watch him get cheated on repeatedly you start to feel a bit bad for him, even though he can be quite the asshole himself.
I was also predisposed to like him because I kept assuming that Zara was gonna end up with him. And you know how I concocted my brilliant theory? Because multiple times it was pointed out how big Alex's dick was, but I don't remember Eli's dick size ever being brought up.
Also, I think Alex was the only one I felt had a chance at not being awful. Zara is a mess and will probably be a selfish, somewhat bad person forever. Eli is a horrifying psychopath and will always be that way. But Alex was just a normal guy, definitely on the douchey side, who you could tell would eventually grow out of all this. He was forgiving and could be pretty cute so I was rooting for him.
Now finally, only my girl Zara. Sometimes, I really wanted to shake her, but most of the time, I loved the bitch. She was so flawed and it was so refreshing. I feel like most books it's the heroine that has to have the caring, upstanding moral compass while the hero gets to have all the fun, so it was nice that everyone here was a piece of shit, her (almost) most of all. She lived for herself and it was fun to see.
Since I loved all the characters, the reason this lost 1.5 stars could only be the plot. It really dragged for me in the middle. Usually I don't mind no plot in a romance because the plot is just the relationship developing, but most of this book was Zara cheating on Alex with Eli, and I needed more direction than that. I could only take so many scenes of Zara hooking up with Eli, saying 'what are we doing?' and then going back to Alex who asks her to commit and she changes the subject. I just wanted Alex to find out so they could all to reach their most toxic levels at once, and it took us wayyyy too long to get there. I will say though, that the ending was soooo worth it for me.
In theory, this book should not have worked for me. In practice, reading this trainwreck of a story about these horrible fucking people made me feel so easy, breezy, beautiful you have no idea.
The threesome/sharing aspect was the reason I didn't wanna pick this up, but somehow it worked for me here. When Zara/Alex/Eli all hooked up in the first chapter, it set me up to be scared and intrigued by Eli's character. Up until that point, Eli almost seemed like the safer choice for Zara, showing levels of care towards her when Alex was taking his hazing too far. But coming off of the threesome scene I felt genuinely scared of Eli's flatlined emotions and casual cruelty. He seemed truly Sinister all of sudden. Like... the dude pretty much tried to rip her vagina. I don't really know
What I'm supposed to do with that. You know what I didn't love though? When he'd say shit like this:
“Zara?” I whisper her name, not wanting to wake Alex up. He’ll ruin this for me, and I’m sure he already got his anyway. Now it’s my turn to finish what he didn’t let me. And if she’s full of his cum, even better.
I also hated 'baby girl'. Every time Eli would call her that it would give me 'Are you lost?' flashbacks to the 365 Days movie and I don't need that type of energy in my life 🤚🏽 It would take lines that were supposed to be dramatic and foreboding like:
Before I can scream, a hand covers my mouth and a voice whispers in my ear, "There's a body in the pool, baby girl."
And make me think this:
I went into this book expecting to love Eli and hate Alex, but for most of it I felt the opposite. I thought the connection that Eli 'shared' with Zara felt made up in his head and all their conversations were him ominously repeating that he liked her scars, but they'd never really delve that deep into it. It was such a shame bc he has all the qualities of my favorite type of boy:
✔ mysterious
✔ dark
✔ psycho
✔ obsessive
✔ takes things too far
But as the book went on I started to feel like Eli was a two-faced lil bitch that I kinda wanted to fight, bc he was playing kiddie games and being a petty lil gossip instead of giving me what I wanted.
but then.
BUT THEN.
the guy brings it back
AND I WAS LOVING ITTTTT
"I didn't know you wanted me to suffocate you, Zara. I didn't know you wanted me to kill you. Why didn't you just fucking ask?"
"I kind of like this. Stealing your breath." He turns his cheek against my mouth. "I like feeling nothing where your life should be."
Damn I can't wait for Eli's book. Now onto Alex. Alex is an interesting character because I assumed I'd hate him, but even when he was doing really unforgivable things in Chapter 1:
→ pulling Zara's bikini down and flashing her tits to an entire party
→ slamming her onto a counter and shoving a bottle of vodka in her mouth, making her choke on it
→ trying to drown her in a pool
→ abusing her drug addiction to blackmail her into a threesome
"You feelin' okay, princess?" he asks me, eyes flashing like he hopes I'm not.
I still never disliked the guy. It's the mystery of the universe. I know when you list all those things out like that it sounds awful, but for me he was still just a likable guy. And also as the book went on when you watch him get cheated on repeatedly you start to feel a bit bad for him, even though he can be quite the asshole himself.
"I won't let you kill yourself. You don't deserve the fucking rest."
I was also predisposed to like him because I kept assuming that Zara was gonna end up with him. And you know how I concocted my brilliant theory? Because multiple times it was pointed out how big Alex's dick was, but I don't remember Eli's dick size ever being brought up.
Also, I think Alex was the only one I felt had a chance at not being awful. Zara is a mess and will probably be a selfish, somewhat bad person forever. Eli is a horrifying psychopath and will always be that way. But Alex was just a normal guy, definitely on the douchey side, who you could tell would eventually grow out of all this. He was forgiving and could be pretty cute so I was rooting for him.
"Lawyers shouldn't hangout with addicts."
"It's why I'm here to cure you, so when we're married and shit, I can go to work without worrying about you."
Now finally, only my girl Zara. Sometimes, I really wanted to shake her, but most of the time, I loved the bitch. She was so flawed and it was so refreshing. I feel like most books it's the heroine that has to have the caring, upstanding moral compass while the hero gets to have all the fun, so it was nice that everyone here was a piece of shit, her (almost) most of all. She lived for herself and it was fun to see.
Since I loved all the characters, the reason this lost 1.5 stars could only be the plot. It really dragged for me in the middle. Usually I don't mind no plot in a romance because the plot is just the relationship developing, but most of this book was Zara cheating on Alex with Eli, and I needed more direction than that. I could only take so many scenes of Zara hooking up with Eli, saying 'what are we doing?' and then going back to Alex who asks her to commit and she changes the subject. I just wanted Alex to find out so they could all to reach their most toxic levels at once, and it took us wayyyy too long to get there. I will say though, that the ending was soooo worth it for me.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 14, 2020
After reading Ecstasy I needed a few days to collect my thoughts and feelings. I was mostly at a loss of words upon finishing. And if I’m being honest, I still kind of am but I want to write a good review for this book because it deserves that. So here it goes..
This is a dark romance. There will be triggers for some. I want to lay that out first. Triggers such as, drug abuse, self harm, murder, mental health and previous dubious consent.
This story follows Zara, Alex and Eli.
We meet Alex first and he’s our asshole of this story. He’s angry at a lot of things and has a hard time pulling that emotion in. But Alex is so much more than his anger. Underneath it all, there is genuine goodness and I rooted for him the whole time.
Zara is our little druggie. She lacks control over herself. I don’t think overindulgence is in her vocabulary. She’s a little chaotic and a little lonely. She met Alex 6 months before the present time in this book and even though they are complete opposites, she fell for him. Zara does bad things though and it makes her situation with Alex rocky at best. She has a relationship with both Alex and Eli and neither relationship is healthy.
Eli. He is the mysterious and quiet one. The one everyone is curious about. Even myself. I was intrigued and very confused by him. He’s mysterious outwardly and inwardly so you spend a huge portion of this book trying to figure him out. He’s a character you will hate to like, I think. (Or maybe that’s just me)
The relationship between the three is triangle-ish but not in the way you’d think. K.V put a little spin on it and I dig it. But I don’t want to say anything else about them because I want people to experience this book at its fullest. But these characters are fleshed out and very well written! Each of them play a pivotal role in the outcome of this story
And I seriously can’t get over this story. I haven’t stopped thinking about it. It’s was different than anything I’ve ever read. I won’t call it “refreshing” because this story is raw, intense and heavy, but it’s refreshing to pick up a book, devour it and be left feeling it for days after. I’m blown away by K.V’s ability to tell a story. I had no idea what to expect— which in turn made me a nervous wreck the whole time. But the unfolding of everything was laid out perfectly. If you enjoy dark reads then I HIGHLY suggest this one. It’s so well written, gritty, steamy, emotional (I cried) and I really don’t think I’ll be able to recommend it enough 💚
This is a dark romance. There will be triggers for some. I want to lay that out first. Triggers such as, drug abuse, self harm, murder, mental health and previous dubious consent.
This story follows Zara, Alex and Eli.
We meet Alex first and he’s our asshole of this story. He’s angry at a lot of things and has a hard time pulling that emotion in. But Alex is so much more than his anger. Underneath it all, there is genuine goodness and I rooted for him the whole time.
Zara is our little druggie. She lacks control over herself. I don’t think overindulgence is in her vocabulary. She’s a little chaotic and a little lonely. She met Alex 6 months before the present time in this book and even though they are complete opposites, she fell for him. Zara does bad things though and it makes her situation with Alex rocky at best. She has a relationship with both Alex and Eli and neither relationship is healthy.
Eli. He is the mysterious and quiet one. The one everyone is curious about. Even myself. I was intrigued and very confused by him. He’s mysterious outwardly and inwardly so you spend a huge portion of this book trying to figure him out. He’s a character you will hate to like, I think. (Or maybe that’s just me)
The relationship between the three is triangle-ish but not in the way you’d think. K.V put a little spin on it and I dig it. But I don’t want to say anything else about them because I want people to experience this book at its fullest. But these characters are fleshed out and very well written! Each of them play a pivotal role in the outcome of this story
And I seriously can’t get over this story. I haven’t stopped thinking about it. It’s was different than anything I’ve ever read. I won’t call it “refreshing” because this story is raw, intense and heavy, but it’s refreshing to pick up a book, devour it and be left feeling it for days after. I’m blown away by K.V’s ability to tell a story. I had no idea what to expect— which in turn made me a nervous wreck the whole time. But the unfolding of everything was laid out perfectly. If you enjoy dark reads then I HIGHLY suggest this one. It’s so well written, gritty, steamy, emotional (I cried) and I really don’t think I’ll be able to recommend it enough 💚
January 9, 2021
Genre: Dark Romance
Type: Standalone
POV: First Person - Multiple
Rating:
Alex Cardi, Zara Henderson, and Eli Addison were living their best college life. But their unrestrained vices quickly spiraled down into something dangerous, forcing them to face their own demons.
After seeing this book being raved by readers, I knew I had to experience it myself. I'm glad I took the plunge because it was worth it. Alex, Zara, and Eli were a mess on their own and a beautiful disaster together. I liked the characters' dynamic, and the sex scenes were scorching.
The story was a mesmerizing train wreck. I loved watching them destroying their lives and seeing how they tried (or not) to dig themselves out. My heart ached for them, especially one in particular. I enjoyed the rawness of the story. However, at a certain point in the story, it became too easy and fluffy, undermining the impact it originally brought.
Ecstasy is a story of losing control. It would appeal to readers who enjoy a dark romance with questionable characters.
🔸➗🔸. . . (F)BR With Twinsie CC . . . 🔸➗🔸
For more reviews/interviews/promo visit:
Type: Standalone
POV: First Person - Multiple
Rating:
Alex Cardi, Zara Henderson, and Eli Addison were living their best college life. But their unrestrained vices quickly spiraled down into something dangerous, forcing them to face their own demons.
After seeing this book being raved by readers, I knew I had to experience it myself. I'm glad I took the plunge because it was worth it. Alex, Zara, and Eli were a mess on their own and a beautiful disaster together. I liked the characters' dynamic, and the sex scenes were scorching.
She’s not broken. She’s not looking for someone to save her. She’s looking for someone to drown with her.
The story was a mesmerizing train wreck. I loved watching them destroying their lives and seeing how they tried (or not) to dig themselves out. My heart ached for them, especially one in particular. I enjoyed the rawness of the story. However, at a certain point in the story, it became too easy and fluffy, undermining the impact it originally brought.
Ecstasy is a story of losing control. It would appeal to readers who enjoy a dark romance with questionable characters.
🔸➗🔸. . . (F)BR With Twinsie CC . . . 🔸➗🔸
For more reviews/interviews/promo visit:
April 23, 2020
I loved this heroine. I grew up with girls like her. Had best friends just like her. Too much money, too much freedom, ignored by everyone who should love them, and lonely as fuck as they imploded desperate for someone to help them and love them. If it wasn’t too late. If the damage wasn’t too severe to recover. If someone more destructive didn’t find them first.
And I’m not talking about the drugs.
That just numbed the real issues to make them manageable. Unless the drugs pushed the underlying mental illness or the emotional damage too far.
I’m sure many will have no sympathy for this heroine. Bully for you. I’m so glad your life is beautiful or you’ve managed to pull yourself up. Not everybody’s that lucky. Keep telling yourself whatever you need to look down at girls like this. But those of us that know them, maybe even recovered from being them, know the truth. We all have vices to cover our damage. Sometimes we face those vices head on and sometimes we live in denial.
“If you hate something, don’t you do it, too.”
Thank you for writing something so out of the box for this genre.
Triggers galore. Get the fuck over yourself and don’t read this just to trash it if you know you can’t handle the very dark shit in this novel. It’s fiction. Some of us want to read fucked up shit then snuggle up to our SO and thank our fucking stars.
And that ending...I expected the twist...but holy hell it’s delivery...the entire fucking train wreck of this book...
Breathtaking.
5 stars.
And I didn’t read a fucking ARC...imagine that ;)
And I’m not talking about the drugs.
That just numbed the real issues to make them manageable. Unless the drugs pushed the underlying mental illness or the emotional damage too far.
I’m sure many will have no sympathy for this heroine. Bully for you. I’m so glad your life is beautiful or you’ve managed to pull yourself up. Not everybody’s that lucky. Keep telling yourself whatever you need to look down at girls like this. But those of us that know them, maybe even recovered from being them, know the truth. We all have vices to cover our damage. Sometimes we face those vices head on and sometimes we live in denial.
“If you hate something, don’t you do it, too.”
Thank you for writing something so out of the box for this genre.
Triggers galore. Get the fuck over yourself and don’t read this just to trash it if you know you can’t handle the very dark shit in this novel. It’s fiction. Some of us want to read fucked up shit then snuggle up to our SO and thank our fucking stars.
And that ending...I expected the twist...but holy hell it’s delivery...the entire fucking train wreck of this book...
Breathtaking.
5 stars.
And I didn’t read a fucking ARC...imagine that ;)
February 8, 2021
con·sent
/kənˈsent/
noun
permission for something to happen or agreement to do something.
god bless learn this word kv rose you fucking weirdo
/kənˈsent/
noun
permission for something to happen or agreement to do something.
god bless learn this word kv rose you fucking weirdo
June 26, 2020
I love K.V. Rose books. So when Ecstasy was released. I was excited and nervous at the same time. My concern was that some drug abuse is a personal trigger for me. But let me tell you, Rose did a phenomenal job.
I am writing this review with my emotions; there all over the place. So here goes my review. I can't believe that I waited so long to read this book.
Triggers: rape, drug abuse, mental illness, self-harm, and many more. Ecstasy is not for everybody.
Let's go in a dark, wicked ride together. Zara, Alex, And Eli all three of them battling there own demons and have secrets. Each one is handling them in different ways. Zara, drug addict, Alex, warm with anger issues, Eli, cold, hiding his true self. Ecstasy starts with Zara and Alex fighting because of Zara cheated on Alex. Eli steps in, and Wow is all I am going to say. I was cussing at this time, and it's only the beginning.
Zara is drawn between Alex and Eli, best friends and total opposites. You kept thinking who isn't he a good guy and the bad guy. Love how Rose had you guess and thinking throughout the book. Of course, she has excellent chemistry with both.
I couldn't help but root for Zara. I was on edge, praying for her, waiting for her to hit rock bottom and hopefully come out the other side unharmed. I swore, cried, yelled, and was pissed off at some of the characters.
If you like a crazy, intense, dark wild ride, I suggest reading Ecstasy. Enjoy
I am writing this review with my emotions; there all over the place. So here goes my review. I can't believe that I waited so long to read this book.
Triggers: rape, drug abuse, mental illness, self-harm, and many more. Ecstasy is not for everybody.
Let's go in a dark, wicked ride together. Zara, Alex, And Eli all three of them battling there own demons and have secrets. Each one is handling them in different ways. Zara, drug addict, Alex, warm with anger issues, Eli, cold, hiding his true self. Ecstasy starts with Zara and Alex fighting because of Zara cheated on Alex. Eli steps in, and Wow is all I am going to say. I was cussing at this time, and it's only the beginning.
Zara is drawn between Alex and Eli, best friends and total opposites. You kept thinking who isn't he a good guy and the bad guy. Love how Rose had you guess and thinking throughout the book. Of course, she has excellent chemistry with both.
I couldn't help but root for Zara. I was on edge, praying for her, waiting for her to hit rock bottom and hopefully come out the other side unharmed. I swore, cried, yelled, and was pissed off at some of the characters.
If you like a crazy, intense, dark wild ride, I suggest reading Ecstasy. Enjoy
January 2, 2022
This was 50 shades of fucked up. Stay in school kids, and don’t do drugs.
October 7, 2020
“𝙎𝙝𝙚’𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙝𝙚𝙧. 𝙎𝙝𝙚’𝙨 𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙙𝙧𝙤𝙬𝙣𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙝𝙚𝙧.
After reading Ecstasy, I needed several days to process what just happened because it completely blew my mind. It was my first read from KV, so I had no idea what to expect but I was most definitely not disappointed! I’m a dark romance enthusiast, so I have read many dark romance books but Ecstasy and KV completely took the crown of being the best dark romance book and author of 2020. This book had so many twists that I was not expecting but I loved them all.
“𝙕𝙖𝙧𝙖 𝙃𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙞𝙨 𝙖 𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚, 𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙞𝙥𝙪𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚, 𝙡𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙙𝙧𝙪𝙜𝙜𝙞𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙤𝙧𝙚.”
Ecstasy gives us the POV’s of 3 College students Zara, Alex and Eli. Words can’t even describe how much I loved this beautifully fucked up trio! Throughout this book we saw them all struggle with their individual issues, and let me tell you they definitely weren’t perfect but I think that’s the whole point and what KV was trying to show as no one is perfect and that’s what makes us human and that’s exactly what Zara, Eli and Alex are humans who make mistakes.
“𝙀𝙡𝙞 𝙞𝙨 𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙙.
𝘼𝙡𝙚𝙭 𝙞𝙨 𝙝𝙤𝙩."
I went into this book not knowing what to expect, and thinking it would be a typical love triangle but boy did KV prove me wrong. Throughout this book, we saw Zara’s relationship with both Eli and Alex and the differences. This was one of my favourite aspects of the book because we got to see Zara explore the different sides of herself with each of them. With Alex, he saw the light and goodness in Zara and how great she could be and how she could be saved. Whereas, with Eli he saw a completely different side to Zara he didn’t believe she needed saving. He thrived in her darkness and loved every one of her flaws.
“𝘿𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙞𝙩 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙣𝙤𝙬?”
Eli has to be one of the most complex characters I’ve ever encountered , there was just so many layers to him and so much more to say about him which is why I’m so excited for Sinister!
“𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙡𝙚𝙩 𝙢𝙚 𝙝𝙪𝙧𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪. 𝙅𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙖 𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚.”
This is a dark romance, so there is some triggers such as drug abuse, murder, self-harm, etc
After reading Ecstasy, I needed several days to process what just happened because it completely blew my mind. It was my first read from KV, so I had no idea what to expect but I was most definitely not disappointed! I’m a dark romance enthusiast, so I have read many dark romance books but Ecstasy and KV completely took the crown of being the best dark romance book and author of 2020. This book had so many twists that I was not expecting but I loved them all.
“𝙕𝙖𝙧𝙖 𝙃𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙞𝙨 𝙖 𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚, 𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙞𝙥𝙪𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚, 𝙡𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙙𝙧𝙪𝙜𝙜𝙞𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙤𝙧𝙚.”
Ecstasy gives us the POV’s of 3 College students Zara, Alex and Eli. Words can’t even describe how much I loved this beautifully fucked up trio! Throughout this book we saw them all struggle with their individual issues, and let me tell you they definitely weren’t perfect but I think that’s the whole point and what KV was trying to show as no one is perfect and that’s what makes us human and that’s exactly what Zara, Eli and Alex are humans who make mistakes.
“𝙀𝙡𝙞 𝙞𝙨 𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙙.
𝘼𝙡𝙚𝙭 𝙞𝙨 𝙝𝙤𝙩."
I went into this book not knowing what to expect, and thinking it would be a typical love triangle but boy did KV prove me wrong. Throughout this book, we saw Zara’s relationship with both Eli and Alex and the differences. This was one of my favourite aspects of the book because we got to see Zara explore the different sides of herself with each of them. With Alex, he saw the light and goodness in Zara and how great she could be and how she could be saved. Whereas, with Eli he saw a completely different side to Zara he didn’t believe she needed saving. He thrived in her darkness and loved every one of her flaws.
“𝘿𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙞𝙩 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙣𝙤𝙬?”
Eli has to be one of the most complex characters I’ve ever encountered , there was just so many layers to him and so much more to say about him which is why I’m so excited for Sinister!
“𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙡𝙚𝙩 𝙢𝙚 𝙝𝙪𝙧𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪. 𝙅𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙖 𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚.”
This is a dark romance, so there is some triggers such as drug abuse, murder, self-harm, etc
September 30, 2020
rr and it’s still a serve…. feel sorry for people with morals
September 7, 2023
This is probably the craziest book I’ve read all year. If you want a book with deplorable characters and insane twists and some romantic suspense, pick this up immediately. I stayed up until the weeee hours of the morning devouring this.
All the characters were horrible people. Zara is an addict who repeatedly cheats on her boyfriend Alex and lied to everyone around her. Alex literally tried to drown her in CHAPTER ONE. Eli is…a psychopath. I have no other words to describe him.
This book is toxic and dark af. The story revolves around the 3 of them in their senior year of college in the aftermath of a party where a dead girl was found in Alex and Eli’s pool.
I’m not the biggest dark romance reader but I can’t even begin to describe the chokehold this book had on me???? It’s unhinged.
Read if you like
✨ dark romance
✨ love triangles
✨ angst
TWs
Drug use
Cheating
Dub con/non con
References to self harm
Death
References to SA
All the characters were horrible people. Zara is an addict who repeatedly cheats on her boyfriend Alex and lied to everyone around her. Alex literally tried to drown her in CHAPTER ONE. Eli is…a psychopath. I have no other words to describe him.
This book is toxic and dark af. The story revolves around the 3 of them in their senior year of college in the aftermath of a party where a dead girl was found in Alex and Eli’s pool.
I’m not the biggest dark romance reader but I can’t even begin to describe the chokehold this book had on me???? It’s unhinged.
Read if you like
✨ dark romance
✨ love triangles
✨ angst
TWs
Drug use
Cheating
Dub con/non con
References to self harm
Death
References to SA
January 9, 2021
4.25 ★
As seniors at university, the paths of Zara Henderson, Alex Cardi and Eli Addison cross in a unique and irrevocable way. Zara is on a collision course due to her substance abuse, Alex is the star quarterback with anger issues and Eli is the quiet contemplative one. With their focus on Zara, she is caught in the middle of a dangerous game without rules.
In starting this book, I expected combustible scenes, drama and some mind fuckery and it delivered in all. Though there were times when I wanted to strangle Zara, I was equally intrigued to see what she would do next. As for Alex and Eli, I liked both of them for different reasons. By a certain point, I was hoping the plot would take a particular turn and it did spiral.
For those looking to read a story with angst, steam and some crazy in the mix Ecstasy will deliver.
*This was a (F)BR with Twinsie Hawkey.
For more reviews/reveals/giveaways visit:
As seniors at university, the paths of Zara Henderson, Alex Cardi and Eli Addison cross in a unique and irrevocable way. Zara is on a collision course due to her substance abuse, Alex is the star quarterback with anger issues and Eli is the quiet contemplative one. With their focus on Zara, she is caught in the middle of a dangerous game without rules.
“Something bad is happening to me, I want to tell him. I’m the bad thing. Happening to my fucking self.”
In starting this book, I expected combustible scenes, drama and some mind fuckery and it delivered in all. Though there were times when I wanted to strangle Zara, I was equally intrigued to see what she would do next. As for Alex and Eli, I liked both of them for different reasons. By a certain point, I was hoping the plot would take a particular turn and it did spiral.
For those looking to read a story with angst, steam and some crazy in the mix Ecstasy will deliver.
*This was a (F)BR with Twinsie Hawkey.
For more reviews/reveals/giveaways visit:
June 13, 2020
TRIGGER WARNING,
This book revolves around toxic relationships, drug addiction, mental health and if you get invested into the characters as much as I did then there is a chance you might cry towards the end.
Zara Henderson is famous in college for being the girl who overdosed, ended up in rehab and now is the girlfriend of Alex Cardi, the star football player. She takes drugs to solely become a different person, more likable and fun to hang out around. To be anyone besides the person she is when she is sober, shy and awkward.
Now there were two Zara’s in this book for me, Druggie Zara and the real Zara, which we get to read about towards the end. And obviously was my favorite.
Alex Cardi, star football player, who has serious anger issues thanks to his cheating dad, who is a pastor and his mother who is also a drug addict just like his girlfriend.
But the thing with Alex is no matter how many times Zara fucks up, he can’t seem to let her go because he just loves her too much.
Eli Addison, He’s a wrestler, he’s smart, quiet and the son of a wealthy lawyer. He is also Alex’s roommate and has been obsessed with his roommates girlfriend since he met her. He believes Alex is not good for her and that he is too controlling.
”She isn’t broken.
She’s not looking for someone to save her.
She’s looking for someone to drown with her.”
When I finished the book
I really liked Zara.
I was in love with Alex.
I was obsessed with Eli.
And Jax 🖤.
April 30, 2022
This book's intro theme song: i feel like i'm drowning
This isn’t going to end well for one of us.
.
.
.
Another guy's theme song: do it for me
All the thanks to L for the rec <3 I didn't pick this book up for ages because I thought it would be another trashy new adult book with drugs thrown in to make it edgy. No, this book wasn't that at all, at least not to me. I was completely not suspecting the Lois Duncan vibes, but I'm left wanting to ask this author if she is one of her influences? This book read to me as if Lois Duncan decided to write one of her YA books for an adult audience, with a realistic depiction of drugs, sex, toxic relationships, & a murder thrown in for good measure.
I'll be reading more from this author, crossing my fingers her works are just as good as this one 🖤
This isn’t going to end well for one of us.
.
.
.
Another guy's theme song: do it for me
All the thanks to L for the rec <3 I didn't pick this book up for ages because I thought it would be another trashy new adult book with drugs thrown in to make it edgy. No, this book wasn't that at all, at least not to me. I was completely not suspecting the Lois Duncan vibes, but I'm left wanting to ask this author if she is one of her influences? This book read to me as if Lois Duncan decided to write one of her YA books for an adult audience, with a realistic depiction of drugs, sex, toxic relationships, & a murder thrown in for good measure.
I'll be reading more from this author, crossing my fingers her works are just as good as this one 🖤
Did Not Finish
August 26, 2021Dnf 😏
February 10, 2021
✽ 3.5 STARS ✽
I would define this book as a dark romance with slight thriller features. I haven't read dark romance for some time now. I pretty much stopped, because almost all stories have similar topics - kidnapping and holding a prisoner in the basement. After reading this book, after all this time living in a »dark romance dry spell«, I can say this book was refreshing. Even though I would never relate word refreshing (read: different) to this book, because this was pure train wreck of a story.
Zara and Alex are in relationship for 6 months, but after Zara's cheating, they try to work out on their relationship. Alex and Eli are best friends and housemates. Characters and their relationships are totally messed up and dysfunctional: Zara is really lost cause, constantly in a vicious circle of drug addiction and secrets kept to themselves by Alex and Eli. Zara, Alex and Eli supposed to be unlikable characters, but I liked all three of them. Usually druggies make me very anxious, but this was not the case here.
The boundaries of everything were blurred, at times I felt like I am on drugs too. From this point of view I can say author created an atmosphere that leaves great impression on reader. At least this was the case for first 80%, ending not so much. Ending was bittersweet, but for my taste too sweet and too long justification with doubtful (thank you for doubtful) HEA.
The author very successfully andunpredictably changes the beliefs who the villain in this story is – Alex or Eli: who is the liar, who has greater secrets to keep, who has secret agenda, who loves Zara more, do they even love Zara or is she just the prize in their game?
Just go with the flow. Don't read too many reviews before digging into this story.
There will be Eli's book Sinister.
I would define this book as a dark romance with slight thriller features. I haven't read dark romance for some time now. I pretty much stopped, because almost all stories have similar topics - kidnapping and holding a prisoner in the basement. After reading this book, after all this time living in a »dark romance dry spell«, I can say this book was refreshing. Even though I would never relate word refreshing (read: different) to this book, because this was pure train wreck of a story.
Zara and Alex are in relationship for 6 months, but after Zara's cheating, they try to work out on their relationship. Alex and Eli are best friends and housemates. Characters and their relationships are totally messed up and dysfunctional: Zara is really lost cause, constantly in a vicious circle of drug addiction and secrets kept to themselves by Alex and Eli. Zara, Alex and Eli supposed to be unlikable characters, but I liked all three of them. Usually druggies make me very anxious, but this was not the case here.
The boundaries of everything were blurred, at times I felt like I am on drugs too. From this point of view I can say author created an atmosphere that leaves great impression on reader. At least this was the case for first 80%, ending not so much. Ending was bittersweet, but for my taste too sweet and too long justification with doubtful (thank you for doubtful) HEA.
The author very successfully and
Just go with the flow. Don't read too many reviews before digging into this story.
There will be Eli's book Sinister.
August 31, 2020
4 stars
umm i don't even know what to say about this book, it was literally INSANE. the characters, the plot, the character dynamics you name it everything about ecstasy is super twisted and fucked up.
i initially started this book because i saw the teasers for sinister (eli's book) on ig and let me just say, this guy is a true pyscho but that's what makes his character so fascinating. he has the potential to be one of the most exciting characters of 2020. i'm very interested in seeing how his book will be handled given the ending of esctacy.
umm i don't even know what to say about this book, it was literally INSANE. the characters, the plot, the character dynamics you name it everything about ecstasy is super twisted and fucked up.
i initially started this book because i saw the teasers for sinister (eli's book) on ig and let me just say, this guy is a true pyscho but that's what makes his character so fascinating. he has the potential to be one of the most exciting characters of 2020. i'm very interested in seeing how his book will be handled given the ending of esctacy.
October 29, 2024
girl why would you stay with him after rape allegations?
May 14, 2020
Ecstasy was going to have a solid five stars in spite of me hating with all my forces the two main guys: Alex and Eli. I mean K.V. Rose plot and insights were out of this world good - most of the time - and despite all the triggers in this book (you think of one the book has it) I was glad to see that the way the author writes it, she doesn't turn a blind way on vicious subjects, she doesn't treat like they were nothing or use them for shock value, so I really respect her writing for most of the pages. Besides I loved Zara so much that I wanted to protect that selfish lost soul, by all means, she was the reason I wanted to read the book and why I liked it. Also, we all need a Jax in our lives, anyway so why I'm giving this intriguing, raw, layered book two starts?
Because of the end or better, how the development went from something deep and complex at 75% of the book to something rushed, one dimensional and I have to say it: unrealistic. In spite of liking or not all the characters I can agree that the writing nailed all the grey areas and constructed their personalities in a way that they breathed through the pages, so I was really frustrated when things started to have a "climax" that was too simple, too much of a caricature, the resolution that didn't acknowledge so many terrible and hard subjects that the book treated until the 75% mark with some kind of mastery.
I don't know maybe I really had a lot of expectations because 3/4 of the book were so amazing, had such an intricate and complex relationship conflict web and nailed comprehension in such harsh and problematic subjects, giving us incredible quotes like:
"It happens all the time, girls dying over boys. Literally, figuratively, at their hands or not. It happens too often. No one cares, and I wasn’t an exception"
"Don’t thank people for things they don’t deserve thanks for"
"The girl left Caven. She left. Why didn’t Eli and I have to leave
That I got frustrated when I didn't read the same understanding and self-examination in the finale. So in my opinion, the top 5 reasons that the end didn't sit well with me were:
Because of the end or better, how the development went from something deep and complex at 75% of the book to something rushed, one dimensional and I have to say it: unrealistic. In spite of liking or not all the characters I can agree that the writing nailed all the grey areas and constructed their personalities in a way that they breathed through the pages, so I was really frustrated when things started to have a "climax" that was too simple, too much of a caricature, the resolution that didn't acknowledge so many terrible and hard subjects that the book treated until the 75% mark with some kind of mastery.
I don't know maybe I really had a lot of expectations because 3/4 of the book were so amazing, had such an intricate and complex relationship conflict web and nailed comprehension in such harsh and problematic subjects, giving us incredible quotes like:
"It happens all the time, girls dying over boys. Literally, figuratively, at their hands or not. It happens too often. No one cares, and I wasn’t an exception"
"Don’t thank people for things they don’t deserve thanks for"
"The girl left Caven. She left. Why didn’t Eli and I have to leave
That I got frustrated when I didn't read the same understanding and self-examination in the finale. So in my opinion, the top 5 reasons that the end didn't sit well with me were:
April 14, 2020
KV Rose is a goddess of writing adult dark romances. They are everything. This one, Ecstasy, is about control and chaos due to a lack of control. This book is beyond amazing.
It deals with triggers like poor decision making, anger issues, self inflicted abuse (i.e. cutting), drug abuse, previous rape, possible stalking, cheating, sexual situations, an accidental drowning or murder, attempted murder, dubious consent, smoking, psychological issues related to past traumas such as fear of abandonment and parent's failing or failed marriages that haven't been dealt with, as well as the usual sex, and a threesome, drugs, college parties, toxic relationships etc.
The characters: Zara, Eli, and Alex. They are all broken in their own way. Their interactions with each other and with other people show it.
The plot: they need to navigate college senior year and Zara is always on something. She cheats on him. They get even with each other, but when the guys call her a whore, only one of the guys means it derogatively.
These characters are so flawed and real that the book is like a cautionary tale... yet the writing gives you all the feels. Especially if you know or have ever been around someone who is addicted to something. Then you will get it.
This is dark and angsty. It's chaos and control... and everywhere in between. It's raw and edgy. It's perfectly imperfect in how the story plays out on every single page. It has so much chemistry and emotional dissonance.
I will read any book by this author. This book is a stand alone I think. Loved it! Highly recommend if you enjoy dark romance and have no triggers.
Reread: 2/4/22
I adore these characters. I reread before starting Ominious I and II. I can't get enough of Eli. Addictive.
It deals with triggers like poor decision making, anger issues, self inflicted abuse (i.e. cutting), drug abuse, previous rape, possible stalking, cheating, sexual situations, an accidental drowning or murder, attempted murder, dubious consent, smoking, psychological issues related to past traumas such as fear of abandonment and parent's failing or failed marriages that haven't been dealt with, as well as the usual sex, and a threesome, drugs, college parties, toxic relationships etc.
The characters: Zara, Eli, and Alex. They are all broken in their own way. Their interactions with each other and with other people show it.
The plot: they need to navigate college senior year and Zara is always on something. She cheats on him. They get even with each other, but when the guys call her a whore, only one of the guys means it derogatively.
These characters are so flawed and real that the book is like a cautionary tale... yet the writing gives you all the feels. Especially if you know or have ever been around someone who is addicted to something. Then you will get it.
This is dark and angsty. It's chaos and control... and everywhere in between. It's raw and edgy. It's perfectly imperfect in how the story plays out on every single page. It has so much chemistry and emotional dissonance.
I will read any book by this author. This book is a stand alone I think. Loved it! Highly recommend if you enjoy dark romance and have no triggers.
Reread: 2/4/22
I adore these characters. I reread before starting Ominious I and II. I can't get enough of Eli. Addictive.
Read
April 25, 2020I read this about a month ago and decided maybe I should write an actual review for this book instead of just saying 'woooow' lol.
This book absolutely blew me away. KV Rose you are a literary genius.
Going into this book, I knew it involved a lot of drug use and a potential love triangle between two hot boys. This book was so much more than that.
Zara is a college student drowning in her own insecurities so she drowns herself in drugs. Drugs make her feel like she actually exist in the world. Her on again off again boyfriend Alex has anger issues and can't seem to stay away from his out of control girlfriend. His best friend, Eli watches in the shadows and waits for his chance.
This book is insane. It will make you question which boy you love and which boy you hate and then you'll question yourself all over again. You'll want to yell and scream at Zara to get her shit together. You'll feel for Zara.
This book is like nothing I've ever read and I cant wait to dive in and start all over again.
CW: Physical abuse, addiction, heavy drug use, violence, sexual assault, Self harm
This book absolutely blew me away. KV Rose you are a literary genius.
Going into this book, I knew it involved a lot of drug use and a potential love triangle between two hot boys. This book was so much more than that.
Zara is a college student drowning in her own insecurities so she drowns herself in drugs. Drugs make her feel like she actually exist in the world. Her on again off again boyfriend Alex has anger issues and can't seem to stay away from his out of control girlfriend. His best friend, Eli watches in the shadows and waits for his chance.
This book is insane. It will make you question which boy you love and which boy you hate and then you'll question yourself all over again. You'll want to yell and scream at Zara to get her shit together. You'll feel for Zara.
This book is like nothing I've ever read and I cant wait to dive in and start all over again.
CW: Physical abuse, addiction, heavy drug use, violence, sexual assault, Self harm
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