Helen's Babies

by John Habberton

Helen's Babies is a humorous novel by American journalist and author John Habberton, first published in 1876. The book's full title is: Helen's Babies: With Some Account of Their Ways Innocent, Crafty, Angelic, Impish, Witching, and Repulsive, Also, a Partial Record of Their Actions During Ten Days of Their Existence.

Genres: Fiction, Classics, Humor, Audiobook, Childrens, Historical Fiction, Young Adult

272 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1876

About the author

John Habberton was an American author and journalist.

Reviews

[booklady · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm recording my read under this cover (though it is not the book I have) because I can't remember where or when I got this book, although it was years ago. My book says it was published in 1876 and does have all the looks of an old book—the typeset, simplicity, style, etc.—except that it is as pristine as a brand-new book?!!!

Helen's "babies" should be Helen's "MONSTERs"! Budge, 5, and Toddie, 3, are their bachelor uncle Harry's worst nightmare when he comes for ten days to babysit them for his sister, Helen, under the happy delusion her little darlings truly are angels-in-disguise.

It is one-episode after another of the little babies driving their poor Unkke Hawwee round the bend. It goes to confirm that some things (little boys) never change; they were little Tom Sawyers in the making, but (yikes!) there were two of them. However, Harry is forced to change his mind when Budge and Toddie do him two special and all but impossible favors for which he is forever in their debt.

This is family humor at its best. And best of all, I see there is sequel which I will have to look for! Highly recommended!!!

[Mary Catelli · Rating 4 out of 5]

You can blame my reading this story on G.K. Chesterton and George Orwell, both of whom wrote favorably about it. And a semantic note: toddler was a 20th century invention; at the time this book was written, "baby" extended up to the age of about five. Which helps explain the title with the youngsters involved being 3 and 5.

The narrator's sister and brother in law go off on a visit, and the sister, Helen, invites her brother to stay at their place. Give him a break from the city and let him read, and help scare off burglars just in case. Her two sons are little angels and won't be a problem. . . . (It is interesting to note that the parents leave before the brother arrives. The servants, after all, can look after the children.)

They are, needless to say. Endlessly, humorously, embarrassingly. Although their high-jinks do have one great side-effect.

[J. Boo · Rating 5 out of 5]

The narrator's sister wants to visit an old school friend with her husband, so would he like to be Man of the House, keeping burglars and servants from running off with the silverware, and occasionally keeping an eye on the titular babies: his five- and three-year-old nephews? Our Hero, a youngish Civil War cavalry veteran, would like nothing better!

Generally, comedic literary children are readily distinguishable from actual children. But these are the closest I've seen to the real thing, angelic adorable causers of trouble, heartburn, and sleep deprivation. Everything rings true(*), including a very deftly-by-the-author handled romance.

The illustrations are good, though unavailable in Gutenberg's Kindle version (present in the HTML). For the unaware, incidentally, very young children (like three-year-old Toddie) wore what technically were gender-neutral outfits but practically resembled girl's clothes. This is something I knew intellectually but have not thought about since going through bitter battles with DD#1, who from the age of two and a half had firm opinions against wearing her older brother's cast-offs. (Me: "But that's a girl fire truck! Driven by princesses!")

(*) Except for one chapter towards the end which was really lame and nearly knocked the whole thing down to four stars. But after suffering through so many, many books written by authors who had never been within fifty feet of an actual child, I can't give this a lower rating than excellent.

[A Nelson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Listened to this on Librivox--read by Kara Shallenberg. Hilarious. An uncle comes to spend a while taking care of his "saintly" nephews. Here's an especially hilarious section I recently reached in part 10.

--------------
Mothers of American boys, accept from me a tribute of respect,
which no words can fitly express--of wonder greater than any of
the great things of the world ever inspired--of adoration as
earnest and devout as the Catholic pays to the Virgin. In a single
day, I, a strong man, with nothing else to occupy my mind, am
reduced to physical and mental worthlessness by the necessities of
two boys not overmischievous or bad. And you--Heaven only knows
how--have unbroken weeks, months, years, yes, lifetimes of just
such experiences, and with them the burden of household cares, of
physical ills and depressions, of mental anxieties that pierce
your hearts with as many sorrows as grieved the Holy Mother of
old. Compared with thy endurance, that of the young man, the
athlete, is as weakness; the secret of thy nerves, wonderful even
in their weakness, is as great as that of the power of the winds.
To display decision, thy opportunities are more frequent than
those of the greatest statesman; thy heroism laughs into
insignificance that of fort and field; thou art trained in a
school of diplomacy such as the most experienced court cannot
furnish. Do scoffers say thou canst not hold the reins of
government? Easier is it to rule a band of savages than to be the
successful autocrat of thy little kingdom. Compared with the ways
of men, even thy failures are full of glory. Be thy faults what
they may, thy one great, mysterious, unapproachable success places
thee, in desert, far above warrior, rabbi or priest.

The foregoing soliloquy passed through my mind as I lay upon the
bed where I had thrown myself after leaving the children's room.
Whatever else attempted to affect me mentally found my mind a
blank until the next morning, when I awoke to realize that I had
dropped asleep just where I fell, and that I had spent nearly
twelve hours lying across a bed in an uncomfortable position, and
without removing my daily attire.
----------------

Too funny!

[Yibbie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Oh, I can sympathize! I don’t care how dearly you love children; there are just times that they try your patience. Habberton did such an excellent job of capturing that over the top frustration, and the equally over the top devotion they inspire.
It’s also funny in a totally realistic way. The boys, ages 5 and 3, manage to turn everything their well-meaning, but child – clueless uncle tries on its head. For example, he lets them loose on some old magazines to cut pictures from and glue into a scrapbook. Who can see what’s coming? Not Uncle, so the repapering of the best room in the house comes as a shock to him. Then they really get busy. They start repeating private conversations. That was fun.
It’s a very sweet love story and not in the least bit sappy. If you’re looking for a quick fun read, this would be a perfect book for you.

[Grace Harwood · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have read an awful lot of Victorian fiction, but this is the first time I've encountered anything quite like this. It's a rather lovely, funny, and - surprisingly - still relevant today to a modern reader, tale of a bachelor Uncle who gets stuck looking after his sister's "adorable" sons whilst she goes off on a visit with her husband. The sons turn out to be just a little bit mischevious and poor old Uncle Harry ends up getting run ragged and longing for bed-time to come so that he can have a bit of peace! (There can't be a parent out there who doesn't recognise that one!) The real comedy comes when the two boys keep dropping him in it with the girl who steals Uncle Harry's heart, her friends and - worse - his future mother-in-law! It's genuinely funny, but it also provides some insight into the social history of the time, so the reader comes away having learned something too. Rates of infant mortality during this era are touched upon, as is Uncle Harry's experience of fighting in the American Civil War. To be honest, during the time of Uncle Harry's "babysitting" the boys climb out of high windows, fall into marshes and one of them swallows two bottles of poison - infant mortality rates are hardly surprising at that rate - indeed, it's more of a surprise that they survived the fortnight their mother was away. Still, this is a gentle, delightful tale which provides a view into the Victorian age in America. It's a charming tale, quick and easy to read - a genuine pleasure.

[Jazzy Lemon · Rating 5 out of 5]

A charming and funny forgotten classic about a 28 year old white goods salesman from New York who spends 10 summer days looking after his sister's two children whilst she and her husband go on holiday.

[Betsie Bush · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is funny on its own, but Kara's reading brings it alive. I love a book that makes me laugh out loud.

[Ally Atherton · Rating 2 out of 5]

There is something I find incredibly annoying about listening to Librivox recordings. I can't quite put my finger on it but I don't think I've ever listened to one that I didn't find annoying.



This is an old book and it's perfectly harmless. It's a book for children or a book for families, which ever way you want to look at it. It's about a well groomed city guy who spends a week looking after his sister's young children. He initially finds the children annoying but he ends up literally falling in love with them. They get up to all kinds of scrapes and mishaps but forgive me, I wasn't rolling around on the floor in hysterics.



I just found it boring. Maybe if I had read the book instead of listening to a woman reading it to me I would have appreciated it more. I just found her annoying, especially when she was reading the children's voices. I just wanted to chuck this book-less book at her!





Not my cup of bovril.

[Deb · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book as a child! My family had an old copy with illustrations by Gibson (or in his style) totally falling apart. It's the book that Dolly is illustrating in "Betsy and the Great World" but abandons as the war begins. All MHL fans should read this one.

[Arthur Pierce · Rating 3 out of 5]

A VERY light story, with practically no plot whatsoever, concerned almost entirely with the author's descriptions of the antics of the two young nephews that have been left in his charge. It is not in the slightest bit challenging, though it is pleasant enough. Incidentally, this may be the only novel I've ever read that is not broken up in to chapters, it is one continuous story.

[Richard Seltzer · Rating 4 out of 5]

My mother's favorite book when she was a child.

[Angie Thompson · Rating 3 out of 5]

So, this was not quite what I was expecting. 1) Having the summary taken from the Wikipedia description of the movie makes it...much less than accurate, and 2) from the mix of their mother's praises and the coachman's opinions, I was expecting the two little boys to be absolute terrors, rather than the curious, mischievous, oblivious, and only slightly-spoiled--in other words, perfectly normal--children they turned out to be. The only thing that magnified their antics was their uncle's total lack of experience with children and expectation of a peaceful, relaxing stay. It reminded me a bit of "Gone Is Gone" (substituting children for housework) with a whirlwind romance thrown in.

The little boys' antics and dialogue were by far the best part of the book and totally convinced me that the author had much more experience with children than "Uncle Harry" had been blessed with. Just about any mother (or teacher, or babysitter...) should be able to predict the mayhem that can ensue when you leave a child alone with pictures and a glue pot (although in our day, markers might be a readier substitute. Get the picture? All over the walls...yep, you got it). Totally familiar way of swinging back and forth between sweet, inquisitive, unthinking, and really naughty? Check. Spot-on dialogue down to consistent and unstereotyped mispronunciations? Check.

So why not a higher rating? I'm not entirely sure. Harry's perspective itself, when not immediately engaged in whatever his nephews happened to be doing or saying, didn't really grip me, especially when he started in on rather abstract reflections. (One exception--his soliloquy in praise of mothers. :D) The bits of theological reflections scattered throughout were sometimes on-point, sometimes a bit suspect, and usually hard-to-follow. (Not counting Budge's Bible story renditions, which were very funny.) And the boys' funny invented terms/misused words got less funny just at the end when Toddie instructed his uncle to "n----- his shoes" (rather than "black" them). :( The romance was also extremely fast and not that well-drawn--although, honestly, I don't think I'd have wanted it to be drawn out more from Harry's perspective. The few glimpses that we got of Alice's thoughts were pretty sweet.

2.5 stars

Content--mentions of kissing; dangerous accidents to young boys (including climbing on roofs, drinking poisonous substances, etc.); two incidents of "n-----" (see above)

[Judith Johnson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This copy of Helen’s Babies recently came into my possession:
HELEN’S BABIES,
WITH SOME ACCOUNT OF THEIR WAYS.
INNOCENT, CRAFTY, ANGELIC, IMPISH, WITCHING AND REPULSIVE
AND
A PARTIAL RECORD OF THEIR ACTIONS DURING TEN DAYS OF THEIR EXISTENCE
BY THEIR LATEST VICTIM

It is a small board-backed version, falling to bits now but at some time mended with brown paper. Published at the price of one shilling by Frederick Warne and Co, Bedford Street, Strand, London, it is illustrated with thirty-five original pictures, and the front and back covers include wonderful advertisements including those for Painless Dentistry (Artificial Teeth By Atmospheric Pressure), Keating’s Insect Powder (Destroys Bugs Fleas Moths Beetles), Brown & Polson’s Patent Corn Flour, and Cadbury’s Cocoa Essence (Pure. Soluble, Refreshing).

There are two inscriptions on the flyleaf: the first says
‘from Cousin Nelly Tonkiss, Sep 20th 1880’

and the second is my grandmother’s name and the date 25 December 1906, which I’m guessing means that she received it as a Christmas gift when she was ten years old.

I hope that she found it an amusing and refreshing change from the Victorian moral tales written for children at the time. She certainly must have been quite fond of the book, as she lived into her nineties and still had it in her home.

I found it highly entertaining, especially the all too familiar escapades of the children! I recall an episode in my own son’s childhood when he was the same age as Toddie. Friends of ours had come over for lunch with their daughter, also 3 years old, and we four parents suddenly realised how unusually long we had been carrying on an enjoyable and uninterrupted adult conversation. Wait a minute, we said, where are the kids? We found them in my open-plan office/living room, where they had had a great time painting smiley faces on the long green velvet curtains with my Snopake bottle and brush! Needless to say, we were much amused and couldn’t find it in our hearts (apart from advice not to do it again please) to give them a hard time!

[Ashley Lambert-Maberly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Almost five stars—but that's a high bar for me, I'm very fussy—if only it were a little funnier, or emotionally moving—regardless, it was a delightful read from start to finish, and so, so much better than I was expecting.

I'd never heard of this book before—and I assumed it would be "terrible children play horrible pranks on beleaguered uncle" and it wasn't, not at all. The children are some of the best, most accurately drawn children I've ever stumbled across in fiction ... sure, they get into trouble, but it's not malicious. They ask for frequent stories and cuddles and comforting. It's sweet. And as a particularly good uncle myself, it was a treat to read about a decent, loving uncle in fiction, rather than the kind who's scheming to kill his nephews and inherit the estate, which seems to usually be the case.

There was a bit too much religion for my personal taste, but I'm sure 1876 had too much religion for my taste too, and it certainly highlights the paucity of childrens literature at the time, that their most beloved stories would be from the Bible.

And, as I find with the best books, it doesn't matter that it's 150 years old, it seems alive, and fresh, and honest (give-or-take Alice's mother, who I don't think would change her stance so quickly). Apparently this book was meant for adults, was beloved by children, but I do think the adult audience will get more out of it, much like Gulliver's Travels which is of course a very different book, but also one adopted by a younger crowd that in was aimed at.

Special shout out to Kara Shallenberg, who read it for Librivox, beautifully.

(Note: I'm a writer, so I suffer when I offer fewer than five stars. But these aren't ratings of quality, they're a subjective account of how much I liked the book: 5* = an unalloyed pleasure from start to finish, 4* = really enjoyed it, 3* = readable but not thrilling, 2* = disappointing, and 1* = hated it.)

[Andres "Ande" Jakovlev · Rating 3 out of 5]

Olles lugenud üsna mitut kiitvat arvustust, olid minu ootused "Heleni lapsukestele" üsna kõrged. Eks see seleta ka valusat kukkumist ja võrdlemisi madalat hinnangut...

Lühidalt räägib raamat noormehest, kes sõidab puhkuse ajal oma õe "ingellikkel" lastel silma peal hoidma. Loomulikult selgub, et lapsed ei ole nii ingellikkud ühti - pigem ikka sellised krutskeid täis tegelased, nagu kolme- ja viie aastaselt oodata võikski.

Keset laste korraldatud kaost õnnestub peategelasel ära armuda. Väikesed põrgulised aga rikuvad kõik katsed endast südamedaamile laitmatut muljet jätta. Lõpuks muidugi selgub, et tegelikult aitavad nad oma krutskitega hoopis neiu südame avada.

Täiesti vägivallatu lugu ja tegelikult kuulasid lapsed seda ka üsna hea meelega. Aga... Aga... Aga ei jätnud sellist mõnusat muljet, noh.

Siinkohal võiks muidugi süüdistada ka seda, et tegu oli vana raamatuga, ent näiteks "Heidi" on mõned aastad vanemgi. Ja see meeldis nii mulle kui ka lastele oluliselt rohkem.

[Marley · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is of course an older book with a very romantic and embellished view on middle class white life. However, I absolutely loved it. Even though there is bit of subtle racism, there's no escaping that in books of this era. The story in general is quite endearing and I absolutely loved the relationship between the boys and their uncle. I love that even though he's obviously young and wants nothing to do with getting dirty or playing, he's so sweet and caring and truly cares about the children. It's shocking, as always, to see how fast the relationship with the lady evolves, but of course it also explains that even for those times they were fast to get together. It was sweet and very funny with witty dialogue and hilarious fails. The children were perfect children. They acted their ages and spoke in broken sentences with horrible grammar but it was exactly how children speak. I really do like the portrayal of more romantic men, that don't mind showing affection and love and aren't embarrassed (very much) by their emotions, as is so often seen(the classic stoic manly man). Just because it's such a delightful, quick and witty story I recommend it.

[Karen Koppy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a humorous book written years ago about a young man who stays with his two small nephews while his sister and husband go on a 2 week trip. He knows nothing about kids and thinks he's going to be able to take it easy and read a lot while they're gone. The boys are a typical couple of little boys that get in all kinds of trouble. The romance with the neighbor was very sweet. The lingo is old-time and fun to read. It's a simple little book. The only thing I didn't care for was the author's way of writing how the kids' talked. ex: "Lyned it zish mornin'. Ocken Hawwy said it over, an' over, an' over, djust yots of timezh, out in ze garden."

Habberton, John. Helen's Babies (p. 98). Kindle Edition.

Also there were so many biblical references, which may have been common during the time is was written, after the Civil War. The only stories the kids knew were bible stories.
It's not for everyone! But the antics the kids got into were pretty typical and his reaction was funny.

[Cindy · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book I have was published in 1908. I remember reading it when I was young. Sadly the book itself was my grandmother’s and recently I retrieved it from an ancient basement in which there was way too much mildew. So, sadly, I will have to throw it away afterwards which breaks my heart. There is more to this situation but it has nothing to do with the book itself. I wonder if the newer publications were written with some corrections because there are a few politically incorrect statements from that era. The book had several sketches as well as some glossy photo pages which made it appear as though it might have been made into a silent movie at one time. Fascinating at any rate. I enjoyed reading it again, and there were plenty of laughs.

[Ellen · Rating 1 out of 5]

I just couldn't

The constant baby talk got to be a bit much. Yes little children talk funny but why did Habberton write SO MUCH of it. And it never occurred to any of the adults to put the poison bottle away somewhere out of the kids reach? Or teach them not to pull a cat's tail? The book consists of constant ooby-wooby baby talk and adults rewarding kids with candy when they don't deserve it.

[Sandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a lovely story. Written first person by the uncle of two small boys about the escapades of a fortnight he spends with them while their father and mother, his sister goes to stay with friends.
Equally mischievous and cherubic, they manage to spread love that makes up for the troubles they cause themselves and others.

[Leila Kern · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful, witty book. I absolutely loved this book. Imagine a bachelor having to watch his nephews (3 year old and 5 year old) while his sister and brother-in-law are on a trip. And, the children are perfect angels, or, are they? The escapades are priceless! Everyone should read this book whether or not they have children!

[Elisabeth · Rating 1 out of 5]

I read this after it was mentioned in a Betsy-Tacy book. Agh! I can't abide 'baby-talk'. I appreciate that this is an old book but I could not stand the lisping little horrors that were Helen's 'babies'. Much of their time was spent retelling Bible stories in a supposedly droll fashion or getting into terrible mischief or performing precociously to impressionable adults. Ugh.

[Marylovesreading · Rating 4 out of 5]

A sweet story of an uncle who visits his nephews who are rambunctious and endearing. The uncle’s initia desire to ignore the boys and read his books turns into much more as they assist him in wooing a lady from the village.

[Rand Firas · Rating 3 out of 5]

It talks about Harry and his two trouble making nephews whom he is ought to tolerate. This story is funny and has a happy turn of events. There is the theme of modern, chaste women model and many biblical allusions. The conversations are witty, ironic and eartnest. I mostly enjoyed them.

[James Oinam · Rating 3 out of 5]

Teenagers who deal with naughty children might empathize more with this book.

[Barbara · Rating 2 out of 5]

Silly but cheerful enough.

[Kim · Rating 2 out of 5]

Old fashioned, a bit of a Keystones cops book. Those little kids are horrible, but funny

[Geneva Eby · Rating 4 out of 5]

A humorous portrayal of what it’s like to care for small children.

[Lettice · Rating 3 out of 5]

A bit silly but also a little charming.