The Fine Cotton Fiasco

by Peter Hoysted, Pat Sheil

Brisbane, 1984. It all started with a simple plan to secretly swap a mediocre horse with a faster one, and rake in the cash with a few well-placed bets. What could possibly go wrong?In The Fine Cotton Fiasco, Peter Hoysted and Pat Sheil brilliantly tell the scarcely believable tale of how – through a combination of horrendous mismanagement, terrible judgement and comically bad luck – the scheme gradually unravelled. How did a horse with white painted socks dripping onto the turf come to hold the hopes of punters across Australia and beyond? How was a supposedly secret plan so widely advertised that even the Queensland Commissioner of Police placed a bet? And how much of a cover-up ensued in the aftermath of this absolute debacle?The story of Fine Cotton is the stuff of Australian legend. It features hardcore crims, likeable rogues and a supporting cast that ranged from the hapless to the hopeless – with some entirely innocent bystanders thrown in for good measure. Not every crazy scheme cooked up by a couple of inmates in Boggo Road Gaol would culminate in a story that will be told across the nation for the next hundred years. But this one did.

Genres: True Crime, Nonfiction

254 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 20, 2019

Reviews

[Angelique Simonsen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This just makes me think that a movie needs to be made. A comedic crime which had me laughing aloud

[Greg · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book wasn't authored by racing writers - there's a couple of rookie errors - but it's probably all the better for it. They have delved deeply into many of the characters in what was indeed one of the great fiascos in Australia's history : racing or otherwise. Not sure how much of an appeal to an audience wider than Australia's shores as it's heavy on idioms and slang, but the book does provides a lot of laugh out loud moments - that's of course when you're not hiding your face in shame. Kudos to Hoysted and Sheil and don't be put off by a seeming focus on horse racing - it's a great deal more than that.

[David Ogden · Rating 4 out of 5]

A thoroughly entertaining account of a criminal caper gone spectacularly wrong. It is written with great humour and research, and no doubt some poetic licence with details of conversations, but is very engaging and both amusing and shocking. The insights into the various levels of the criminal underworld in Sydney and Queensland (from the deadly-serious organised crime groups, to utterly corrupt politicians and officials, to comically inept criminal dreamers) is fascinating and very well-observed. A great read!

[Emma Darcy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wanted to read this because, following the disastrous referendum this year, I wanted to read something about Australians publicly making fools out of themselves. This definitely fit the bill, and was very satisfying to read.
The horses, innocent in all of this, were very good boys.

[Chris Waterford · Rating 1 out of 5]

This certainly was a fiasco---the book, that is. It starts on the day of the race with three characters waking up,pissing in the kitchen sink,vomiting and drinking more beer. It doesn't improve. It's written like a C-grade Western. Certainly a decent history of the Sydney crime and drug scene. Nothing about bookmaker disqualifications. Why? A fiasco indeed.

[Helen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I started reading this book after a book group member had regaled us with its essence. It’s a fascinating story about a racing scandal that occurred in Queensland in the 1980s. It’s hilarious in some respects — the daft things that were done are very funny and described in a very Ocker way. However, once I’d absorbed the enormity of the farce, I found I didn’t know enough about the racing industry or care enough about the people involved to be really invested in this book. It’s a good recount of the greed and corruption at that time.

[Marie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don't know if this was enough of a story to have an entire book about it. The story itself is ridiculous, which is what sells it, but half of the book is unrelated 80s Brisbane crime figures and their shenanigans. That, also, has elements that could be a good story, but unless you're super into the Fitzgerald Inquiry/Joh Bjelke-Petersen days (I am generally interested but not a superfan), it's hard to keep up with such a wide cast of characters. It would've been better trimmed down, but would there have been enough of a book left? I don't know. Maybe if it hadn't been jumping back and forth and instead separated the tales into their own sections, it might've been easier to follow.

[Ellen McMahon · Rating 3 out of 5]

A bloody cracking story. It begs belief. I bought the book after hearing the original interview about this on Conversations with Richard Fidler in 2019 and was reminded of it when it was covered by the Just the Gist podcast recently.
The book itself is informative and often very funny, but so heavily steeped in Aussie slang that a translator is almost required. The structure is also non-chronological and a little jumpy, and many of the ‘facts’ are written so like fiction that you wonder how much creative licence was applied throughout.
Also, there’s a fair bit of pretty blatant fat phobia.
Still, a great read. Definitely one for the ages.

[Nicole · Rating 3 out of 5]

Whilst I enjoyed reading a book loaded with Australian idioms and slang, it was challenging to keep up with some character’s stories as the author kept referring to them with different nicknames every couple of sentences. Also, the story could be told in 20 pages, so brace for filler (and a lot of smack talk about Queensland).

[Caitlin Noakes · Rating 4 out of 5]

The narrative voice perfectly captures the time, place, and culture surrounding what is objectively Australia’s funniest crime. Some very clever and killer one-liners. Laughed out loud at parts.

[Brendan Bradford · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is brilliantly and unashamedly Australian. An Aussie story told with an Aussie sense of humour and a typical Aussie rejection of authority.

[Shane]

Hard to believe this really happened. Can’t wait for the movie staring Steve Bisley, Bryan Brown and Lachie Hume.

[Malcolm France · Rating 5 out of 5]

Worthy of the Nobel Prize for literature.