人は話し方が9割

by 永松 茂久

「もう会話で悩まない！疲れない！オロオロしない！」――もっと話し方がうまければ、人生うまくいくのに……。「話すこと」にまつわる悩みを挙げるとキリがありません。本書でお伝えするのは、コミュニケーションの基本である会話がうまくいくようになる、ちょっとした、でも多くの人が気づいていないエッセンス。過去に会話で失敗したトラウマもあっさり消え去ってしまうほど、人と話すことがラクになり、人間関係も、人生も、全部がよりよい方向に動き出します！

Genres: Japanese Literature, Audiobook, Psychology

169 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 1, 2019

Reviews

[Muzulaa]

Notes


>相談に来る人というのは、「とにかく話を聞いてほしい」、「自分のことをわかってほしい」、「共感してほしい」という思いが強い
実のところ、解決策を求めて相談に来ている人はほとんどいない

>「がんばれ」の使い分け
がんばりすぎて疲れている人には「ちょっと力を抜こうよ」。
がんばっていない人にはがんばりたくなるように話す。
がんばりたくてがんばっている人には、その向こうにある未来を話す。

[Shuka]

人は話し方が9割 (people are 90% how they talk) is a Japanese book written by Nagamatsu Shigehisa about tips on talking better. In the Japanese sense, “talking” includes everything from speeches to discussions to conversations to more. In this book, the author focuses on how to have conversations and interact with people in our daily lives, perhaps the most important and useful type of talking.
Some of the main tips in the books that I found most useful were: prepare a set of response phrases and remember them; talk about food/origin/pets; make a list of mistakes. Because I sometimes struggle with keeping the conversation going, especially with new people I meet, I plan to follow this advice to facilitate social interaction. Other tips were sometimes more of a way to think about conversations, such as not gossiping. Some others were ideas I was already somewhat aware of, and thus clarified or reconfirmed them.
Overall, I found this book really helpful and enjoyed learning more about practical, real-world social skills! I plan to read more of Nagamatsu’s books soon, since he wrote other similar books.

[Michael]

Great book if you’re training to work at a host club or a kabakura bar. Also recommended if you want to trick people into thinking you’re a Disney princess or the protagonist from a Korean drama.

But if you don’t want to be a liar and a phony, stay away.

When the author wasn’t spouting cliches like “People appreciate when you appreciate them” and “Talk to people with a wish of happiness in your heart,” he was contradicting himself. First he says don’t associated with people that badmouth others, and then in the very next chapter he says “Give a nickname to bad bosses” and gives examples of how using it in a conversation with coworkers can liven things up.

The problem with being ok with lying (encouraging us to say what people want to hear and not say what they don’t want to hear, for example) is that you lose all credibility and your stories become doubtful. He tells success stories, but he’s just finished telling me to lie to my coworkers. So how the hell am I supposed to believe the success stories?

Ridiculous garbage with a couple of helpful tips here and there.

[Baaska Baaska]

Сонссон чинь аудио нь эхэндээ жаахан шуугиад таалагдаагүй ч яахав дуусгалаа.

[cosmic haze]

幸せでありますように🕊️

[Jenn Odd]

A pretty average book on conversational Japanese. Not as comprehensive as other conversation books, but very short and easy to read, so didn't spend too much time on it.

[Laku Nagami]

僕は個人的に第三章の「人に嫌われない話し方」が印象に残りました。
話に自由度を持つ手前、避けた方がいい言動があることに気付きました。

[Atsuki]

quite generic advice for public & everyday speaking

[tomo]

会話を“勝ち負け”にする人は信頼を失います。話し方の改善は、まず相手を尊重する言葉選びから始まります。
特に重要なのは「ポジティブ変換」です。
営業や仕事では「結論→理由→補足」の順が基本です。
一方、プライベートでは感情共有が優先されます。

今日は「でも」を言わない
明日は「ありがとう」を増やす

[Tsugumi]

好きな人と話す、心理的安全性

相手を会話の主役にすると相手から好かれやすい。あなたといると楽しいあなたといると安心する

笑わせる人より笑ってくれる人がする好き。それ面白いもっと教えて

ポジティブな気持ちを持てる人である