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Loving Well in a Broken World: Discover the Hidden Power of Empathy
How can we love our neighbors amid so much division and hurt?
Loving your neighbor as yourself would be easy if your neighbors were all people you understood, people you agreed with, people like you. But what about playground bullies, colleagues, refugees, online adversaries? They're all our neighbors, and Jesus said to love them. Every one. But how?
Lauren Casper believes the key is the lost art of empathy, stepping into other people’s shoes and asking what if? — What if it were my child? What if it were me? Casper helps us discover how to:
-identify our blind spots and tune our hearts to the stories around us;
-seek and extend forgiveness with grace and humility; and
-engage in diverse and meaningful relationships.
Following these steps will enable us to connect in simple but life-altering ways, to respond to conflict with grace, bring about needed change, and shine God’s unconditional love into a dark world.
Loving your neighbor as yourself would be easy if your neighbors were all people you understood, people you agreed with, people like you. But what about playground bullies, colleagues, refugees, online adversaries? They're all our neighbors, and Jesus said to love them. Every one. But how?
Lauren Casper believes the key is the lost art of empathy, stepping into other people’s shoes and asking what if? — What if it were my child? What if it were me? Casper helps us discover how to:
-identify our blind spots and tune our hearts to the stories around us;
-seek and extend forgiveness with grace and humility; and
-engage in diverse and meaningful relationships.
Following these steps will enable us to connect in simple but life-altering ways, to respond to conflict with grace, bring about needed change, and shine God’s unconditional love into a dark world.
240 pages, Paperback
First published February 18, 2020
20 people are currently reading
1775 people want to read
About the author
Lauren Casper
4 books45 followersLauren Casper is the author of Loving Well in a Broken World, and It's Okay About It. She lives nestled in the mountains with her family.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews
August 16, 2020
I loved this book!
The writing was easy to understand and in each of the story chapters, Lauren Casper shares some of her most personal stories and relates it to a story from the bible. I find that as I read on, every story is so relatable to me and find it very endearing to read about how it also relates to some of my favorite movies and TV shows for example.
Reading the chapters brought me so much joy and without being preachy teaches us how to love ourselves and others, empathize and learn to place ourselves in someone else's shoes, and to do this with joy, grace and humility.
Overall, this is a book I find myself that I will read, and re-read, share with my family and friends, gift to colleagues and neighbors too.
Thank you Lauren Casper for writing this and showing us how to be better versions of ourselves.
The writing was easy to understand and in each of the story chapters, Lauren Casper shares some of her most personal stories and relates it to a story from the bible. I find that as I read on, every story is so relatable to me and find it very endearing to read about how it also relates to some of my favorite movies and TV shows for example.
Reading the chapters brought me so much joy and without being preachy teaches us how to love ourselves and others, empathize and learn to place ourselves in someone else's shoes, and to do this with joy, grace and humility.
Overall, this is a book I find myself that I will read, and re-read, share with my family and friends, gift to colleagues and neighbors too.
Thank you Lauren Casper for writing this and showing us how to be better versions of ourselves.
August 29, 2020
This book could not have come at a better time. I admit I was in a crap mood yesterday. My kids are back in school, my business is suffering because of Covid, and yet another black man was shot by police. I have attended the protests, walked in the marches, signed the petitions, called my legislators, donated money, and supported black businesses. And yet it seems daily there is a new headline and change is slow to come. I am normally a positive, forward focussed, upbeat person but today I woke up slow and weary. This book was just what I needed to reset my heart. To remember how to keep going, one step at a time.
Loving Well in a Broken World is written by Lauren Casper, a middle aged white momma to two brown children both of whom have special needs. She too has been weary and wondered what more could she do to educate and protect her kiddos. She believes people have stopped listening and loving, and that the key is empathy.
“In a world gone mad, we can choose to stay in the thick of it and love our way to the other side. We can be with instead of against. We can identify our blind spots and ask questions when we don’t understand someones point of view. We can lean into our discomfort and big feelings instead of denying them.”
She uses stories from her own life experience sprinkled with biblical wisdom to encourage more listening, more learning, and more loving to create change. To meet this beast of racism and hate head on and not cower from the overwhelming pain of it. The chapters are short and cover a wide range of topics
“The world is in crisis today. How do I live in this mess? What is my role?”
I can identify my own blind spots. I can continue to love well and both seek and provide forgiveness. And I can invest in diverse and meaningful relationships that seek to propel us into a better future filled with hope.
“This is the kind of hope driven by empathy. It’s the reason any of us bother to care and love our neighbors in the midst of an upside-down, messed up, inside-out world. Because we believe it matters. Because we have hope”
Thank you to @thomasnelson @lcasper1 and @tlcbooktours for proving a book to read & review.
#LovingWellinaBrokenWorld #LovingWellBook #Christian #nonfiction #LoveYourNeighbor #tlcbooktours
Loving Well in a Broken World is written by Lauren Casper, a middle aged white momma to two brown children both of whom have special needs. She too has been weary and wondered what more could she do to educate and protect her kiddos. She believes people have stopped listening and loving, and that the key is empathy.
“In a world gone mad, we can choose to stay in the thick of it and love our way to the other side. We can be with instead of against. We can identify our blind spots and ask questions when we don’t understand someones point of view. We can lean into our discomfort and big feelings instead of denying them.”
She uses stories from her own life experience sprinkled with biblical wisdom to encourage more listening, more learning, and more loving to create change. To meet this beast of racism and hate head on and not cower from the overwhelming pain of it. The chapters are short and cover a wide range of topics
“The world is in crisis today. How do I live in this mess? What is my role?”
I can identify my own blind spots. I can continue to love well and both seek and provide forgiveness. And I can invest in diverse and meaningful relationships that seek to propel us into a better future filled with hope.
“This is the kind of hope driven by empathy. It’s the reason any of us bother to care and love our neighbors in the midst of an upside-down, messed up, inside-out world. Because we believe it matters. Because we have hope”
Thank you to @thomasnelson @lcasper1 and @tlcbooktours for proving a book to read & review.
#LovingWellinaBrokenWorld #LovingWellBook #Christian #nonfiction #LoveYourNeighbor #tlcbooktours
April 5, 2022
Way too much leftist ideology in this book.
August 12, 2022
took me a while to get through it but completely changed my perspective on people around me
March 29, 2020
I fear I was mislead by the title. I expected to have solutions (or at least suggestions for solutions) to interpersonal relationships. Casper, instead, took me through a growing discontent for my own misfortune at attempting to be "woke" by having friends outside of my race. I mean, I have tried to negotiate the tough conversations, only to be told that I can never understand, which was further reinforced by this book. Maybe I missed the point, but I am tired of identifying the same problem over and over again. Enough already! I know these problems intimately, but I am left with little insight as to how to overcome them. Anyone needing to know about the problems of racism and/or the struggles of having a difficult interracial family dynamic might benefit from the narrative she presents. My heart goes out to her, really, but I am left with the cold reality of what I've spent my life railing against: LIFE IS NOT FAIR!
September 9, 2021
In her book, Loving in a Broken World, Discover the Hidden Power of Empathy, Lauren Casper takes on the challenge of indifference.
She starts with the premise, as did Elie Wiesel, that “the opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference.”
Casper approaches the dilemma from a Christian perspective, but actually, most major religions will work just as well.
She uses the example of Jesus’ parable of the Good Samaritan. She notes that the Samaritan in the story, himself branded as an outsider, was more willing to help a Jewish man who had been beaten and robbed, because, “[T]his man would have known what it felt like to be despised, tossed aside, and ignored. Instead of seeing only costly inconvenience in a heap of bloodied flesh, the Samaritan saw a physical representation of how he had been treated all his life. He saw more than what was readily visible. He saw a person… a neighbor.”
Wiesel was himself a victim of Nazi persecution and had spent time in a concentration camp. This experience caused him to devote his adult life to the issue of discrimination. He said of indifference: “The opposite of faith is not heresy, it’s indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it’s indifference. Because of indifference, one does before one actually dies. To be in the window and watch people being sent to concentration camps or being attacked in the street and do nothing, that’s being dead.”
Casper suggests that “[I]f indifference is the disease, empathy is the antidote.”
Casper gives us the example of a trip to the emergency room with her infant adopted son. It was a life and death situation and she felt totally helpless. Ironically, just a few days before, she and her husband had come across a similar situation and walked by, for the most part, unemotionally unaffected.
“Our experiences over that twenty-four hours taught me two things: First, no one is immune to tragedy. And second, we actually have no what we’ll do when our turn comes.”
“The self-righteous idea that we’ve somehow set up our lives in ways that protect us from certain kinds of crises, implying that those who are experiencing said crises have not, is what keeps many of us from entering into the painful places in another person’s life… Our own pain might be the one thing that causes us to stop closing our eyes… It’s easy to ignore or judge suffering when we naively assume it will never be us… I may be a slow learner, but pain is an effective teacher.”
When we center on our own experiences, writes Casper, the experiences of others “seem far away, uncommon, and not part of our world.”
Casper continues, “We miss a lot when we center our experiences by assuming they are the norm.”
She writes about the experience of Daniel, one of the Lost Boys, displaced during the bloody civil war in Sudan. Daniel and three of his friends eventually make it to the United States. Two of them adjust to the new culture. But not Daniel who points out that Americans don’t seem to look out for each other.
“'You’re born for others, and others are born for you,’ Daniel says, trying to make sense of a culture that makes no sense to him – and implying that maybe American culture doesn’t offer as much as we might think it does.”
For Casper, the ability to listen is an important ingredient in empathy. She gives the example of her autistic young son, who, during a church picnic, asked several times, to go home. His request went unheard and he simply walked to the family’s van to get some peace and quiet.
For a few panic-stricken minutes, Casper and some of the picnic attendees searched for her little boy before they found him.
“Are we willing to hear what our neighbors are trying to tell us, even when it makes us uncomfortable? Or are we determined to remain in the comfort of our echo chambers… that’s a choice we get to make every day. We can choose to listen and learn and ask rather than point and acuse.”
Casper uses her own life experience to offer hard-earned wisdom, which includes the importance of emotions. “If we are brave enough to honor our emotions, they can point us toward our hurting neighbors and help us to love them well. When we’re honest, our feelings can show us what’s missing in our neighborhood and where a need might be waiting that only we can fill. A world without emotions is a world without grace and compassion. A world without feelings is a world without understanding and care.”
Casper points out that there is a balance to the emotion equation. Being honest doesn’t include ripping open emotionally broken hearts to reveal the source of the pain publicly.
Another roadblock to empathy is fear.
“The challenge this poses in our current culture is that our affinity for similarity has led to polarization and, subsequently, fear. It’s the fear of others that causes us to act in ways that are apathetic or even hateful rather than loving. That fear is often because we simply don’t know each other. As a result, our social fabric – locally and globally – is unraveling… Research has shown that our empathy is diminished to the point of being virtually absent when the suffering person is a member of a different social, racial, or cultural group... If we want to love our neighbors, we have to break out of our bubbles.”
Midway through Loving Well in a Broken World, Casper gives an example of how to do this. She describes Project Connection, started by a teenager living in Charlotte, NC, who had a heart to connect acceptance between high schoolers and children with special needs. With some initial trepidation, Casper signed up her own two special needs kids to be part of a local PC network of teenagers in Lexington, VA.
Another way of gaining empathy is through developing friendships among people who don’t look,
think or act like us.
For Casper, this happened when an Afghani woman who moved to the US became a close friend. Through her friend, Casper writes, “I learned what it was like to grow up under the Taliban and the challenges faced by girls seeking education in that environment… When the news reports that bombs have exploded in Kabul, I no longer change the channel but grieve that destruction of my friend’s hometown and the loss of her former neighbors. When refugees are vilified in the news or in conversation, I am resolute in my defense of them.”
Another motivating factor for Casper is her faith.
“I have been afraid of so many things: the mental and emotional toll that justice work would take, the discrimination and dangers that await my children, the attacks and judgment from peers, and the list goes on… My fear is nearly extinguished by the light of the gospel and Christ’s example of turning toward, rather than away from, the brokenness of the world.”
Casper advises, “Don’t turn away from whatever it is that makes your heart break and your eyes well up with tears. Sit with it a little longer and see where your heart might take you… Where is empathy leading you to love? You might be scared, I know I am, but the next right thing is simply showing up – and we can do it.”
At this point, Casper puts down a challenge, specifically to those of the Christian faith.
“It may seem uncomfortable, unnatural, and awkward to step out of comfort zones and challenge the status quo, but maybe that’s because we Christians have forgotten that’s what we’re made to do. We weren’t created to live up to society’s standards and remain comfortably in our bubbles; we were made to be misfits and rebels and to embrace the unexpected. If we claim to follow Jesus, there is no other way to live.”
For Casper, another part of the empathy equation is repentance.
“One of the most necessary and inevitable acts of love that empathy naturally leads us into is that of repentance… It’s the recognition of how our words, or lack thereof, and our actions, or lack thereof, have impacted our neighbors. It is the experience of true remorse for that impact and the decision to no longer behave in a way that brings pain to those around us… Repentance requires empathy because we cannot stop our harmful behavior and life differently without it… Repentance screams humility and empathy.”
Casper contends that empathy should lead us to consider people living on the margins. Bringing us to a much fuller understanding of life around us. “When tales of conquests of land and resources are only told from the colonizers’ perspectives… they become the hero of the story, and the voices of those who were oppressed and enslaved and stolen from are excluded from the narrative. We learn an incomplete history, which prevents us from understanding the struggles some nations and communities face today. So instead of understanding and even repentance, we offer judgment and ridicule.”
Casper sees the ability to receive criticism as crucial to the growth of empathy.
“When I am criticized or rebuked, pride can push me to believe I’m being persecuted, but humility and love usually reveal areas for growth, for being more considerate of others – and if I stay with the discomfort long enough, I’m thankful for it. This is how we allow criticism to increase our empathy.”
Casper concludes: “The in-between – the interval between where we came from and where we’re going – may be long, hard and painful, but we started from perfect love and to perfect love we will return. So, we press on, hopefully ever after.”
She starts with the premise, as did Elie Wiesel, that “the opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference.”
Casper approaches the dilemma from a Christian perspective, but actually, most major religions will work just as well.
She uses the example of Jesus’ parable of the Good Samaritan. She notes that the Samaritan in the story, himself branded as an outsider, was more willing to help a Jewish man who had been beaten and robbed, because, “[T]his man would have known what it felt like to be despised, tossed aside, and ignored. Instead of seeing only costly inconvenience in a heap of bloodied flesh, the Samaritan saw a physical representation of how he had been treated all his life. He saw more than what was readily visible. He saw a person… a neighbor.”
Wiesel was himself a victim of Nazi persecution and had spent time in a concentration camp. This experience caused him to devote his adult life to the issue of discrimination. He said of indifference: “The opposite of faith is not heresy, it’s indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it’s indifference. Because of indifference, one does before one actually dies. To be in the window and watch people being sent to concentration camps or being attacked in the street and do nothing, that’s being dead.”
Casper suggests that “[I]f indifference is the disease, empathy is the antidote.”
Casper gives us the example of a trip to the emergency room with her infant adopted son. It was a life and death situation and she felt totally helpless. Ironically, just a few days before, she and her husband had come across a similar situation and walked by, for the most part, unemotionally unaffected.
“Our experiences over that twenty-four hours taught me two things: First, no one is immune to tragedy. And second, we actually have no what we’ll do when our turn comes.”
“The self-righteous idea that we’ve somehow set up our lives in ways that protect us from certain kinds of crises, implying that those who are experiencing said crises have not, is what keeps many of us from entering into the painful places in another person’s life… Our own pain might be the one thing that causes us to stop closing our eyes… It’s easy to ignore or judge suffering when we naively assume it will never be us… I may be a slow learner, but pain is an effective teacher.”
When we center on our own experiences, writes Casper, the experiences of others “seem far away, uncommon, and not part of our world.”
Casper continues, “We miss a lot when we center our experiences by assuming they are the norm.”
She writes about the experience of Daniel, one of the Lost Boys, displaced during the bloody civil war in Sudan. Daniel and three of his friends eventually make it to the United States. Two of them adjust to the new culture. But not Daniel who points out that Americans don’t seem to look out for each other.
“'You’re born for others, and others are born for you,’ Daniel says, trying to make sense of a culture that makes no sense to him – and implying that maybe American culture doesn’t offer as much as we might think it does.”
For Casper, the ability to listen is an important ingredient in empathy. She gives the example of her autistic young son, who, during a church picnic, asked several times, to go home. His request went unheard and he simply walked to the family’s van to get some peace and quiet.
For a few panic-stricken minutes, Casper and some of the picnic attendees searched for her little boy before they found him.
“Are we willing to hear what our neighbors are trying to tell us, even when it makes us uncomfortable? Or are we determined to remain in the comfort of our echo chambers… that’s a choice we get to make every day. We can choose to listen and learn and ask rather than point and acuse.”
Casper uses her own life experience to offer hard-earned wisdom, which includes the importance of emotions. “If we are brave enough to honor our emotions, they can point us toward our hurting neighbors and help us to love them well. When we’re honest, our feelings can show us what’s missing in our neighborhood and where a need might be waiting that only we can fill. A world without emotions is a world without grace and compassion. A world without feelings is a world without understanding and care.”
Casper points out that there is a balance to the emotion equation. Being honest doesn’t include ripping open emotionally broken hearts to reveal the source of the pain publicly.
Another roadblock to empathy is fear.
“The challenge this poses in our current culture is that our affinity for similarity has led to polarization and, subsequently, fear. It’s the fear of others that causes us to act in ways that are apathetic or even hateful rather than loving. That fear is often because we simply don’t know each other. As a result, our social fabric – locally and globally – is unraveling… Research has shown that our empathy is diminished to the point of being virtually absent when the suffering person is a member of a different social, racial, or cultural group... If we want to love our neighbors, we have to break out of our bubbles.”
Midway through Loving Well in a Broken World, Casper gives an example of how to do this. She describes Project Connection, started by a teenager living in Charlotte, NC, who had a heart to connect acceptance between high schoolers and children with special needs. With some initial trepidation, Casper signed up her own two special needs kids to be part of a local PC network of teenagers in Lexington, VA.
Another way of gaining empathy is through developing friendships among people who don’t look,
think or act like us.
For Casper, this happened when an Afghani woman who moved to the US became a close friend. Through her friend, Casper writes, “I learned what it was like to grow up under the Taliban and the challenges faced by girls seeking education in that environment… When the news reports that bombs have exploded in Kabul, I no longer change the channel but grieve that destruction of my friend’s hometown and the loss of her former neighbors. When refugees are vilified in the news or in conversation, I am resolute in my defense of them.”
Another motivating factor for Casper is her faith.
“I have been afraid of so many things: the mental and emotional toll that justice work would take, the discrimination and dangers that await my children, the attacks and judgment from peers, and the list goes on… My fear is nearly extinguished by the light of the gospel and Christ’s example of turning toward, rather than away from, the brokenness of the world.”
Casper advises, “Don’t turn away from whatever it is that makes your heart break and your eyes well up with tears. Sit with it a little longer and see where your heart might take you… Where is empathy leading you to love? You might be scared, I know I am, but the next right thing is simply showing up – and we can do it.”
At this point, Casper puts down a challenge, specifically to those of the Christian faith.
“It may seem uncomfortable, unnatural, and awkward to step out of comfort zones and challenge the status quo, but maybe that’s because we Christians have forgotten that’s what we’re made to do. We weren’t created to live up to society’s standards and remain comfortably in our bubbles; we were made to be misfits and rebels and to embrace the unexpected. If we claim to follow Jesus, there is no other way to live.”
For Casper, another part of the empathy equation is repentance.
“One of the most necessary and inevitable acts of love that empathy naturally leads us into is that of repentance… It’s the recognition of how our words, or lack thereof, and our actions, or lack thereof, have impacted our neighbors. It is the experience of true remorse for that impact and the decision to no longer behave in a way that brings pain to those around us… Repentance requires empathy because we cannot stop our harmful behavior and life differently without it… Repentance screams humility and empathy.”
Casper contends that empathy should lead us to consider people living on the margins. Bringing us to a much fuller understanding of life around us. “When tales of conquests of land and resources are only told from the colonizers’ perspectives… they become the hero of the story, and the voices of those who were oppressed and enslaved and stolen from are excluded from the narrative. We learn an incomplete history, which prevents us from understanding the struggles some nations and communities face today. So instead of understanding and even repentance, we offer judgment and ridicule.”
Casper sees the ability to receive criticism as crucial to the growth of empathy.
“When I am criticized or rebuked, pride can push me to believe I’m being persecuted, but humility and love usually reveal areas for growth, for being more considerate of others – and if I stay with the discomfort long enough, I’m thankful for it. This is how we allow criticism to increase our empathy.”
Casper concludes: “The in-between – the interval between where we came from and where we’re going – may be long, hard and painful, but we started from perfect love and to perfect love we will return. So, we press on, hopefully ever after.”
August 30, 2020
In her new book, Loving Well In A Broken World, blogger Lauren Casper draws from the wealth of her own experiences with the missteps and fumbles that she had to overcome to learn how to love better and show how she now adopts those lessons to guide her children in a similar manner. She references Biblical characters and the stories that illustrate the need for more human empathy but she also invokes lessons from pop culture icons like Mother Theresa, Trevor Noah , Elie Weisel and Ta-Nehisi Coates, and shows how she has incorporated their messages into her own habits. Loving Well In A Broken World is not a playbook for what to do in every situation, because among the pages, Casper confesses instances where she's gotten it very wrong, but with each faux pas she admits, she also counters with the lesson learned and what she would do next time if she had that opportunity again.
Because the author is a mother of two children who she and her husband adopted and are raising to overcome physical and developmental disabilities, the personal stories she shares are textured and substantive but also overlaid with raw emotion that makes them immediately relatable. I deeply admired how transparent Casper tried to be in sharing some of the challenges she and her family have faced but also without making her book too prescriptive. Too often, there are people who want to be allies and advocates but their efforts, instead, erase the very voices they set out to champion. I think this author addresses sensitive issues with the right attitude, one of empathy with a view to listen and understand to see if and how to help and if there is one takeaway from this book, it should be to adopt this mindset as a first step to learning how to love better.
Kudos to Lauren Casper for writing a book on how to apply love lessons that are as old as time, but also giving us practical applications for our current times.
Note: I got a complimentary copy from the publisher in order to complete this review
Because the author is a mother of two children who she and her husband adopted and are raising to overcome physical and developmental disabilities, the personal stories she shares are textured and substantive but also overlaid with raw emotion that makes them immediately relatable. I deeply admired how transparent Casper tried to be in sharing some of the challenges she and her family have faced but also without making her book too prescriptive. Too often, there are people who want to be allies and advocates but their efforts, instead, erase the very voices they set out to champion. I think this author addresses sensitive issues with the right attitude, one of empathy with a view to listen and understand to see if and how to help and if there is one takeaway from this book, it should be to adopt this mindset as a first step to learning how to love better.
Kudos to Lauren Casper for writing a book on how to apply love lessons that are as old as time, but also giving us practical applications for our current times.
Note: I got a complimentary copy from the publisher in order to complete this review
March 10, 2020
Such a good read. So many practical tips on day in and day out behavior regarding loving our neighbors as ourselves. And so very convicting. I wish everyone I knew had this book, especially Christians.
September 1, 2020
This well written book shares what empathy looks like and then through stories shows how it can be put into action to love our neighbors well.
I recommend this book.
I recommend this book.
August 28, 2020
This book falls under the category of “everyone should read.” The cover is gorgeous but what grabbed my attention was the line at the bottom: Discover the hidden power of empathy. I am a very empathetic and always wanting to learn more about how to treat people, or show them I care. We’ve all heard about love languages, Enneagrams, Myers-Briggs all to tell us who we are and who we are most compatible with. This may help when we’re picking a spouse or our friendships, but every day we have to deal with people we wouldn’t necessarily choice to be in our lives. Coworkers, neighbors, parents at our children’s school, even the grumpy barista at the local coffee shop. Our world is divided more than ever right now and it’s imperative that we get out of our comfort zone and step away from judgment.
Empathy- To see another’s pain, understands the cause of it, and then feels it with them.
There was so much in this book that stood out to me and gave me that aha moment. I took notes and laid post its all over the pages. Just like love languages we learn that the way we think someone should’ve acted, what they should’ve done, or how we would’ve handled the situation is just that, how we would have. You may hear of something happening to someone and think you never would have done what they did, but how do you know unless you’ve been in that exact situation? If you know me well you’ve heard me say “I don’t have to go through something to be empathetic.” Sometimes we try to fix things when we should just be there, listen, and let the person know we care. Try stepping into someone’s shoes and asking what if? I really enjoyed this book and walked away feeling I’m equipped to be an even better person than I was when I started.
Empathy- To see another’s pain, understands the cause of it, and then feels it with them.
There was so much in this book that stood out to me and gave me that aha moment. I took notes and laid post its all over the pages. Just like love languages we learn that the way we think someone should’ve acted, what they should’ve done, or how we would’ve handled the situation is just that, how we would have. You may hear of something happening to someone and think you never would have done what they did, but how do you know unless you’ve been in that exact situation? If you know me well you’ve heard me say “I don’t have to go through something to be empathetic.” Sometimes we try to fix things when we should just be there, listen, and let the person know we care. Try stepping into someone’s shoes and asking what if? I really enjoyed this book and walked away feeling I’m equipped to be an even better person than I was when I started.
December 27, 2020
I received an advanced reader copy of this book, but unfortunately I couldn't share it with my audience. The book is beautiful and I really wanted to love it, but there were some big problems.
1. I couldn't tell who the audience was. If the audience is Christians who lean into social justice, then they would not learn anything new here. It seemed like the author was trying to convince people to use empathy because it is Christ-like, so perhaps her intended audience is Christians who believe in Biblical justice rather than social justice. In that case, it just was not sensitive enough. It was too condescending towards those who think differently than her.
2. It seemed like a record of wrongs. She brought up many stories of how people had wronged her in the past, or how she had wronged others and can't seem to forgive herself for. We learned about misdiagnosing doctors, social media squabbles, and a doctor writing "well-groomed" on her paperwork. Stories and anecdotes are so meaningful, but these all seemed pretty shallow to me. It seems like she lives with these impossible standards of how people treat her and how she treats others, making no room for growth and humanity.
3. She says "good people." This is a silly thing to let bother me, but I think it shows a lack of Biblical understanding on her part. She said that a friend's younger brother who was in jail was a good person. While I can't judge this stranger's heart, the term "good person" bothers me, because are any of us good? Biblically, no.
While I want to learn more about racisim in the church and how to fight it, I don't think this book is the best option.
1. I couldn't tell who the audience was. If the audience is Christians who lean into social justice, then they would not learn anything new here. It seemed like the author was trying to convince people to use empathy because it is Christ-like, so perhaps her intended audience is Christians who believe in Biblical justice rather than social justice. In that case, it just was not sensitive enough. It was too condescending towards those who think differently than her.
2. It seemed like a record of wrongs. She brought up many stories of how people had wronged her in the past, or how she had wronged others and can't seem to forgive herself for. We learned about misdiagnosing doctors, social media squabbles, and a doctor writing "well-groomed" on her paperwork. Stories and anecdotes are so meaningful, but these all seemed pretty shallow to me. It seems like she lives with these impossible standards of how people treat her and how she treats others, making no room for growth and humanity.
3. She says "good people." This is a silly thing to let bother me, but I think it shows a lack of Biblical understanding on her part. She said that a friend's younger brother who was in jail was a good person. While I can't judge this stranger's heart, the term "good person" bothers me, because are any of us good? Biblically, no.
While I want to learn more about racisim in the church and how to fight it, I don't think this book is the best option.
October 27, 2019
I had the pleasure of reading an advanced copy of this book provided to me by the publisher for marketing purposes. In Loving Well in a Broken World: Discover the Hidden Power of Empathy, Lauren Casper takes a topic that could easily be trite and turns it into a moving, personal, authentic reflection on how we can live up to Jesus's example to love others—even in our tumultuous political and social global landscape. Hers is a deeply relatable voice that lends authority and authenticity as she shares about her own doubts, hurts, and the struggles she's had to overcome in order to build community with others. Reading this book felt like having a meaningful late-night conversation with a friend, and I appreciated the honesty and vulnerability with which she shared about things like health issues, interpersonal conflicts, and global experiences. I'm definitely a new fan, and I can't wait to go back and read her first book, It's Okay About It: Lessons from a Remarkable Five-Year-Old About Living Life Wide Open.
July 17, 2023
The first third of this book was great. It has a wonderful message about loving your neighbor as yourself and the importance of empathy as proclaimed by Jesus in the Gospels. But, the rest of the book is pretty leftist, and it's a lot of mommy blogger type reflections on how she could have done things better. The author seems to have her heart in the right place but also a pretty bad racial guilt complex. I wasn't impressed.
December 28, 2023
Love Well
A very nice Christian book on empathy.
Warm and comforting book. I really like Lauren's writing.
Reminded me of Jennie Allen's book, Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World.
Would very much recommend this.
4.4/5
A very nice Christian book on empathy.
Warm and comforting book. I really like Lauren's writing.
Reminded me of Jennie Allen's book, Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World.
Would very much recommend this.
4.4/5
January 5, 2022
LOVE!!! My favorite read of the past year! — I’m the most empathetic person ever & yet this outlook challenged me so so much. Empathy goes beyond what we see and know and feel ourselves or watch in our bubble!
October 6, 2022
The first third of this book put beautiful words to many of the things I have felt and learned quite painfully about what relationships should be. These words are the reason for two stars. Yet I cannot in good conscience recommend this book to anyone. The flaws are serious.
1. The Goodreads summary talks about Jesus and ends with, “shine God’s unconditional love into a dark world.” I took this as an indication that the book would be gospel-centered. It was not. The book was emotion-centered instead. I heard far more about how events made Casper cringe, cry, or feel anxiety or joy than I did about any of Jesus’s teachings. Casper occasionally added a sprinkle of paraphrased parable when she thought it helped her point, but this was always an add-on rather than the grounding for any point. It was just enough to sell the book to a Christian crowd without it having any actual authority.
2. The book was mostly empty virtue signaling. Casper talks about having empathy and looking for the other side of a story, but she regularly throws people under the bus as she tries to show how good and considerate she is. She shames an acquaintance for turning off the news for a spell, insisting that’s not the caring thing to do, ignoring the obvious option that perhaps her friend needed a break to protect her mental health so that she can better serve those in her sphere of influence. Casper seems to want praise for judging the needs of those immediately in her vicinity as not enough of a need compared to the poor in Haiti. She criticizes statements that could be taken multiple ways as condescending and hurtful instead of truly looking to the person’s heart. She pushes for a better understanding of history in order to understand how systemic problems came to be, but in her own version makes truth optional, casting blame on Christopher Columbus for things that happened well after he died in places he never was. Justice cannot exist separate from truth.
3. Casper inserts herself into stories that are not hers. She starts to tell a story about the worst day of her friend’s life; the friend very suddenly lost a child. The story twists, though, in an ugly way so that it ends up being about whether or not Casper should have cried. Sit with that a moment. Such a powerful grief and the takeaway is about Casper’s own tears? This happened with some regularity. A book about seeing others was ultimately about the author instead.
4. The problems above all combined to make me feel like Casper just wanted to shame and guilt me into living according to her rules. The gospel will convict, but it also sets me free to “go and sin no more.” This book didn’t set me free of anything. Instead, I found myself dwelling on all the times I’d felt hurt and unseen, but not growing at all in my ability to see others better. The only person I thought this book showed was Casper herself.
5. Finally, I found the mommy blogging troubling. Casper writes quite a bit about her very young children. Nothing she writes is especially embarrassing, but I realized her children are too young to consent to having their stories told. She is putting their lives on a very public display for her own profit, and I wonder how they’ll feel about it in a few years. I was glad I came of age before the internet became what we now know.
If you really want to build empathy, read a novel instead. I highly suggest picking up anything by Fredrik Backman.
1. The Goodreads summary talks about Jesus and ends with, “shine God’s unconditional love into a dark world.” I took this as an indication that the book would be gospel-centered. It was not. The book was emotion-centered instead. I heard far more about how events made Casper cringe, cry, or feel anxiety or joy than I did about any of Jesus’s teachings. Casper occasionally added a sprinkle of paraphrased parable when she thought it helped her point, but this was always an add-on rather than the grounding for any point. It was just enough to sell the book to a Christian crowd without it having any actual authority.
2. The book was mostly empty virtue signaling. Casper talks about having empathy and looking for the other side of a story, but she regularly throws people under the bus as she tries to show how good and considerate she is. She shames an acquaintance for turning off the news for a spell, insisting that’s not the caring thing to do, ignoring the obvious option that perhaps her friend needed a break to protect her mental health so that she can better serve those in her sphere of influence. Casper seems to want praise for judging the needs of those immediately in her vicinity as not enough of a need compared to the poor in Haiti. She criticizes statements that could be taken multiple ways as condescending and hurtful instead of truly looking to the person’s heart. She pushes for a better understanding of history in order to understand how systemic problems came to be, but in her own version makes truth optional, casting blame on Christopher Columbus for things that happened well after he died in places he never was. Justice cannot exist separate from truth.
3. Casper inserts herself into stories that are not hers. She starts to tell a story about the worst day of her friend’s life; the friend very suddenly lost a child. The story twists, though, in an ugly way so that it ends up being about whether or not Casper should have cried. Sit with that a moment. Such a powerful grief and the takeaway is about Casper’s own tears? This happened with some regularity. A book about seeing others was ultimately about the author instead.
4. The problems above all combined to make me feel like Casper just wanted to shame and guilt me into living according to her rules. The gospel will convict, but it also sets me free to “go and sin no more.” This book didn’t set me free of anything. Instead, I found myself dwelling on all the times I’d felt hurt and unseen, but not growing at all in my ability to see others better. The only person I thought this book showed was Casper herself.
5. Finally, I found the mommy blogging troubling. Casper writes quite a bit about her very young children. Nothing she writes is especially embarrassing, but I realized her children are too young to consent to having their stories told. She is putting their lives on a very public display for her own profit, and I wonder how they’ll feel about it in a few years. I was glad I came of age before the internet became what we now know.
If you really want to build empathy, read a novel instead. I highly suggest picking up anything by Fredrik Backman.
March 13, 2020
There’s a song that I learnt from my childhood that goes like this;
“This is my first commandment, that you love one another, that your joy may be full”
Most likely you do know it. And it’s not just kids who need to live by, and practice the message of this song, but every human being, especially Christians, those of us who are recipients of God’s love.
As any honest human being is aware, showing love is something tough, very difficult, although it is the trait that is naturally longing to all of us. So, when I saw the title of this book, it brought about an interest upon me as I need to learn how to love others, especially those who are unlike me.
I’d like to thank the author for taking her time to pen this book, and I hope those who read it may be able to glean a thing or two as to how they may practically live out this calling.
Nonetheless, I’ve got a concern that the author failed to bring out the reason why we ought to love. As such, I find how she structured it is a bit moralistic, and as a human being, I know that I won’t be able to perfectly love others as I ought to, and thus at the end of the day will make me to despair! I’d have loved this book better if she started off by reminding readers that the motive and reason why we ought to love others is because of the Gospel. Because of God having already first loved us, and saved us, thus, from this loci, we are to show love as an outworking for God’s love for us. Secondly, another concern I have with the book is that she’s relying too much on CRT and intersectionality theories to bring out her ideas, and I can say that this is due to her failure on not anchoring her thesis on the Gospel. Thirdly, as an African, the book is full of white liberal do-gooderisms of which I find very offensive! In an effort to point others who are not like her, i.e. conservatives, she has merely succeeded in showing the self-righteousness of white liberals which us blacks hate, like claiming that the policies (political) which she supports are about showing love to others, but as an African, or blacks in general is aware, it is those policies which have devastated our communities whilst some consider them as love, which isn’t.
To finish off, I’m giving this book 2 stars as of now, but I hope that should the author consider penning a follow up to this one, I’d request that she begins with the Gospel (kerygma) first as the anchor and foundation for her teaching (Didache) in order to bring out clearly her thesis.
“This is my first commandment, that you love one another, that your joy may be full”
Most likely you do know it. And it’s not just kids who need to live by, and practice the message of this song, but every human being, especially Christians, those of us who are recipients of God’s love.
As any honest human being is aware, showing love is something tough, very difficult, although it is the trait that is naturally longing to all of us. So, when I saw the title of this book, it brought about an interest upon me as I need to learn how to love others, especially those who are unlike me.
I’d like to thank the author for taking her time to pen this book, and I hope those who read it may be able to glean a thing or two as to how they may practically live out this calling.
Nonetheless, I’ve got a concern that the author failed to bring out the reason why we ought to love. As such, I find how she structured it is a bit moralistic, and as a human being, I know that I won’t be able to perfectly love others as I ought to, and thus at the end of the day will make me to despair! I’d have loved this book better if she started off by reminding readers that the motive and reason why we ought to love others is because of the Gospel. Because of God having already first loved us, and saved us, thus, from this loci, we are to show love as an outworking for God’s love for us. Secondly, another concern I have with the book is that she’s relying too much on CRT and intersectionality theories to bring out her ideas, and I can say that this is due to her failure on not anchoring her thesis on the Gospel. Thirdly, as an African, the book is full of white liberal do-gooderisms of which I find very offensive! In an effort to point others who are not like her, i.e. conservatives, she has merely succeeded in showing the self-righteousness of white liberals which us blacks hate, like claiming that the policies (political) which she supports are about showing love to others, but as an African, or blacks in general is aware, it is those policies which have devastated our communities whilst some consider them as love, which isn’t.
To finish off, I’m giving this book 2 stars as of now, but I hope that should the author consider penning a follow up to this one, I’d request that she begins with the Gospel (kerygma) first as the anchor and foundation for her teaching (Didache) in order to bring out clearly her thesis.
December 31, 2020
Loving Well in a Broken World is a timely book considering it deals with being empathetic, which seems to be a concept lost on many these days. It feels like many people are quick to judge, when we should be quick to listen.
It starts off telling the story of The Good Samaritan and refers back to that many times throughout the book. Reflecting on the command to “love your neighbor,” this book gives ideas on how to do that in daily life.
Some may notice that this book is published by a Christian publisher, but I wouldn’t recommend this as a Biblical resource. I actually found it to be more accessible to a general audience who just wants to learn tangible ways to love people better. There are lots of good takeaways in here for anyone to marinate on., but I certainly didn't find it all to be Biblical.
Here is one quote I liked:
Listening cultivates empathy for others because it gives us glimpses of their world- their experiences, their pain and joy and hopes and fears. It’s how we step out of our own shoes and learn what life is like in the shoes of another.
I also appreciated the chapter that talked about how to treat people on social media. Remembering that there are actual humans with feelings behind the screen and how we treat them online does affect their real life is a reminder that a few people could use. ❤️
Thank you to @tlcbooktours for my gifted copy of Loving Well in A Broken World in exchange for my honest thoughts.
It starts off telling the story of The Good Samaritan and refers back to that many times throughout the book. Reflecting on the command to “love your neighbor,” this book gives ideas on how to do that in daily life.
Some may notice that this book is published by a Christian publisher, but I wouldn’t recommend this as a Biblical resource. I actually found it to be more accessible to a general audience who just wants to learn tangible ways to love people better. There are lots of good takeaways in here for anyone to marinate on., but I certainly didn't find it all to be Biblical.
Here is one quote I liked:
Listening cultivates empathy for others because it gives us glimpses of their world- their experiences, their pain and joy and hopes and fears. It’s how we step out of our own shoes and learn what life is like in the shoes of another.
I also appreciated the chapter that talked about how to treat people on social media. Remembering that there are actual humans with feelings behind the screen and how we treat them online does affect their real life is a reminder that a few people could use. ❤️
Thank you to @tlcbooktours for my gifted copy of Loving Well in A Broken World in exchange for my honest thoughts.
August 16, 2020
Loving Well in a Broken World is an inspirational book about having empathy and loving everyone, not just those we get along or agree with. Lauren Casper's writing is beautiful and inviting.
The introduction to the book really stuck with me. When Lauren had to explain to her child about why it was important to be kind to someone even when they were being mean/bullying made me realize that sometimes as adults we don't practice what we preach to kids/youth. It is so easy to be angry or mean to those we don't always agree with, but why?
Lauren breaks it down for us with personal stories and referencing scriptures to put everything in perspective. She poses many 'what ifs' and made me realize that everyone is going through something whether it be good or bad. I have always heard to love thy neighbor and this book made me realize that I don't always do just that. It sounds so simple, yet we tend to make it difficult.
I give Loving Well in a Broken World 5 stars. Yes, our world isn't perfect and we come in contact with many nice and not so nice people but it is up to us to handle every situation with empathy, compassion, and love. I am inspired to understand and have more empathy for everyone. I want to be a better person for myself, my family, and others so that I can live a happier life. Thank you to Lauren for writing this book and for the inspiration.
The introduction to the book really stuck with me. When Lauren had to explain to her child about why it was important to be kind to someone even when they were being mean/bullying made me realize that sometimes as adults we don't practice what we preach to kids/youth. It is so easy to be angry or mean to those we don't always agree with, but why?
Lauren breaks it down for us with personal stories and referencing scriptures to put everything in perspective. She poses many 'what ifs' and made me realize that everyone is going through something whether it be good or bad. I have always heard to love thy neighbor and this book made me realize that I don't always do just that. It sounds so simple, yet we tend to make it difficult.
I give Loving Well in a Broken World 5 stars. Yes, our world isn't perfect and we come in contact with many nice and not so nice people but it is up to us to handle every situation with empathy, compassion, and love. I am inspired to understand and have more empathy for everyone. I want to be a better person for myself, my family, and others so that I can live a happier life. Thank you to Lauren for writing this book and for the inspiration.
October 20, 2025
There was a time, not long ago, when pretty much everyone recognized there was value and importance in empathy. In that time, Lauren Casper wrote Loving Well in a Broken World: Discover the Hidden Power of Empathy (galley received as part of early review program, but full book read).
And, as she so well and eloquently expresses in this book, we would do much better to get back to that kind of attitude regarding empathy.
The author provides many vignettes from her own life and experiences in learning how to better relate with other people, to be willing to see how others’ experience of things may not be like our own, and to identify with other people in what they are going through.
I challenge anyone and everyone to read what she has to say. I would love to hear exactly what aspects of what she has related are worthy of significant critique and censure. I would love to know how anything she has discussed somehow proved “toxic” or in any way contrary to the ways of Jesus the Christ.
Instead, I think most everyone who would read this book would come away with a better appreciation for how empathy is necessary, should not be slandered as “toxic” or a problem, and how those who want to cast aspersions on empathy most likely have their influence, power, standing, or economic benefit staked on people not showing empathy toward others, and questioning and challenging why they would want to resist showing empathy toward others.
You cannot well show love, grace, mercy, and charity if you refuse to identify with people where they are. Jesus’ Incarnation is the most powerful affirmation of this principle. And we all do well to be reminded of why we need to find more points of connection, and not fewer, with others.
And, as she so well and eloquently expresses in this book, we would do much better to get back to that kind of attitude regarding empathy.
The author provides many vignettes from her own life and experiences in learning how to better relate with other people, to be willing to see how others’ experience of things may not be like our own, and to identify with other people in what they are going through.
I challenge anyone and everyone to read what she has to say. I would love to hear exactly what aspects of what she has related are worthy of significant critique and censure. I would love to know how anything she has discussed somehow proved “toxic” or in any way contrary to the ways of Jesus the Christ.
Instead, I think most everyone who would read this book would come away with a better appreciation for how empathy is necessary, should not be slandered as “toxic” or a problem, and how those who want to cast aspersions on empathy most likely have their influence, power, standing, or economic benefit staked on people not showing empathy toward others, and questioning and challenging why they would want to resist showing empathy toward others.
You cannot well show love, grace, mercy, and charity if you refuse to identify with people where they are. Jesus’ Incarnation is the most powerful affirmation of this principle. And we all do well to be reminded of why we need to find more points of connection, and not fewer, with others.
July 25, 2025
Beginning of this book was great and talked about how we need to view everyone as neighbors, not just the people we know. Especially if we are to follow Jesus’ command: “love our neighbors”
We never know what someone is going through, so we need to try to see things through people’s eyes rather than our own. Let’s be real, only God knows the full story, so we need to surrender to Him and be kind to others.
However, the middle to end of the book was very un-Christian and did not represent the teachings of Jesus. It was as if the author gave up on writing about Him as a whole and started talking about Christianity with a worldview, rather than Gods view.
We never know what someone is going through, so we need to try to see things through people’s eyes rather than our own. Let’s be real, only God knows the full story, so we need to surrender to Him and be kind to others.
However, the middle to end of the book was very un-Christian and did not represent the teachings of Jesus. It was as if the author gave up on writing about Him as a whole and started talking about Christianity with a worldview, rather than Gods view.
February 24, 2020
This book was gifted to me at the right time and I am so grateful for that. Let me start off by saying that I am an Empath. As Empaths, we see and feel everything. We don’t just empathize, we ABSORB. It is hard to be an emotional sponge in such a broken world. This book shed major light on the brokenness. I not only feel seen as an Empath, but, I am realizing that it is a strength of mine. You can choose what you do with this “power.” Will you use it to spread love and change or will you internalize and shutdown? Every story in this book resonated with me. Empath or not, everyone should read it. If you want to see actual change in this world start with loving thy neighbor. The little things become the big things ❤️
May 19, 2020
A book basically about the golden rule. But everyone and everything in this world is not perfect, people will not always agree with you, bad things will happen. But with Christ's teachings we can look at everyone and every situation with love and caring and from the other person's view. We all have blind spots that God and other people can reveal to us if we are open to listening and learning. We can forgive and have great relationships. When you break it down it's all about love.
March 15, 2025
This book is profoundly impactful. While I didn’t love all of the chapters (to avoid spoilers I won’t specify everything, we just disagreed in a few places.) most of them really hit home for me and I feel like not only did I need some of those chapters I learned a lot from them. She has a really beautiful perspective on a lot of things we tend to overlook. This is a great read if you’re looking to expand the way you think about empathy and loving others.
April 21, 2020
Great
I’m sure if I sat down with this author we might bit 100% share the same beliefs but she nailed the topic of empathy. I pray that I will have eyes that see, wears that hear and bands that serve and that I will learn to love as God does.
I’m sure if I sat down with this author we might bit 100% share the same beliefs but she nailed the topic of empathy. I pray that I will have eyes that see, wears that hear and bands that serve and that I will learn to love as God does.
May 13, 2020
"There is no them. There is only us." It will take the balance of my life to undo the messaging of my childhood that ran contrary to this magnificent throughline of Casper's book.
Worthwhile investment, I think.
Worthwhile investment, I think.
March 12, 2023
Absolutely loved this book. A must read for all leaders who want to make a strong impact on their people’s lives. Loving well explores empathy in such connected way. I cried, I learned - it was beautiful.
June 10, 2021
I loved this book, just full of heartfelt stories on the hidden power of empathy. Very timely, with its examples
Read
December 1, 2021No rating or much of a review except to say that her heart is in the right place…
June 3, 2022
An excellent book which digs into what we’re REALLY saying, to ourselves, family, friends and strangers. Eye-opening
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