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If I Fall
How do you survive when your best friend takes his own life?
Khloe has no idea how she'll live without her best friend by her side. Carter was not the suicidal type, and Khloe can’t understand his leaving her so abruptly. When she finds Carter's journal, it's a secret portal holding all his deepest secrets. As Khloe unravels the hidden darkness of her best friend’s life—hoping to find what drove him to suicide—she struggles without him as she stumbles back into the treacherous world she'd left behind. Prescription drugs, sex, and the tip of a needle to feel her pain for her.
Her friend Ava tries to reason with her, but the more Khloe discovers Carter's life, the less she understands. When Khloe almost goes over the edge, a handsome paramedic, Ty, saves her life and seems intent on saving her heart along with it. But the shadows that chased Carter are hot on her heels, and unless she can find the peace that eluded him, she might follow Carter past the last page.
Khloe has no idea how she'll live without her best friend by her side. Carter was not the suicidal type, and Khloe can’t understand his leaving her so abruptly. When she finds Carter's journal, it's a secret portal holding all his deepest secrets. As Khloe unravels the hidden darkness of her best friend’s life—hoping to find what drove him to suicide—she struggles without him as she stumbles back into the treacherous world she'd left behind. Prescription drugs, sex, and the tip of a needle to feel her pain for her.
Her friend Ava tries to reason with her, but the more Khloe discovers Carter's life, the less she understands. When Khloe almost goes over the edge, a handsome paramedic, Ty, saves her life and seems intent on saving her heart along with it. But the shadows that chased Carter are hot on her heels, and unless she can find the peace that eluded him, she might follow Carter past the last page.
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First published January 19, 2019
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 51 reviews
April 6, 2020
Looking for an edgy read and one that will tug at your heartstrings as it delves into a lot of edgy topics including suicide, drugs, abuse, and alcohol. It also shows readers that sometimes you need to hit rock bottom for you to decide to change and do something to turn your life around. The book starts with Khloe getting a phone call from her best friend Carter, she gets a vibe that something is wrong. Khloe then rushes to her friend's house and finds him dead. The book then jumps to the funeral where we meet Khloe's other friend Ava. Ava's character is very deep into alcohol and heavy drug use and is a bad influence on Khloe as Khloe starts to turn into drugs and alcohol to forget the pain of losing Carter. Khloe then goes to Carter's parents' home and is given from Carter's sister Gracie - Carter's journal to read. The rest of the book follows Khloe reading Carter's journal and discovering what was going on in his mind as to how could her best friend commit suicide. During this time, Khloe's and Ava's life are getting deeper into the drugs and alcohol scene and Khloe finds herself assaulted and abused - not at the same time. Khloe decides that she can't live her life like this anymore and with the help of Jay - a mechanic she has met through Carter's journal and Ty - her paramedic EMT guardian angel she decides to make the choice to get sober and move forward with her life. I liked this book and the character of Khloe as she was such a strong female lead and I wasn't keen on Ava as she is happy with her drug-riddled life and wants to bring Khloe down with her. If you love edgy NA reads, then check out If I Fall by Amber Thielman.
February 17, 2019
Woah. Heartbreaking, such an emotional book.
This was the first time reading this author and wow.
Honestly not a fan of sad books, but this one was something alright. A little slow, BUT sooo worth the read.
This was the first time reading this author and wow.
Honestly not a fan of sad books, but this one was something alright. A little slow, BUT sooo worth the read.
March 20, 2020
This is an incredibly emotionally charged intense book,
Dealing with real issues which I had great empathy towards and I found reading difficult for me at times.It really got to me and shattered my heart in places,I cried unapologetically for Khloe and the journey she embarked on to come to terms with her best friends tragic suicide.
Amber Thielman has written a very compelling story,with a flare that was respectful,raw and beautiful. Anyone who wants to read a book that will make you cry ,and feel, that touches your heart and makes you think then this story is for you.
Great job Amber ,it certainly has the Wow factor.
Dealing with real issues which I had great empathy towards and I found reading difficult for me at times.It really got to me and shattered my heart in places,I cried unapologetically for Khloe and the journey she embarked on to come to terms with her best friends tragic suicide.
Amber Thielman has written a very compelling story,with a flare that was respectful,raw and beautiful. Anyone who wants to read a book that will make you cry ,and feel, that touches your heart and makes you think then this story is for you.
Great job Amber ,it certainly has the Wow factor.
March 28, 2020
If I Fall is a book of truth. Its a book that will give u a look into the dark and pain of what some of our youth deal with. Its heartbreaking and stomach turning at some points. Its also amazing and beautiful and i believe this should be a required reading for our youth. Always remember u are not alone .
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March 31, 2019
Sad, tragic and emotional growth
This story is engaging and mysterious right from the get-go. At first, Khloe is caught up in the grief of losing her best friend, she tries to figure out ways to compensate and overcome the regret of his death. The patterns of her behaviour are slightly repetitive (but that's due to the persisting habits of addiction and drink) until Khloe hits rock bottom and realizes that she needs to find a new way to live. A new way to move forward.
Which she does.
The author, Thielman, is brave to tackle such subjects as suicide, grief, drunkenness and addictions, she does so with bluntness showing the rawness of each situation, and yet, as Khloe grows, she offers compassion as she comes to terms with her friend's death.
I liked Khloe, I liked her strategies she used and her supportive friends. In essence, this is a very good story and offers something different to think about. I found it engaging and I read it in a shorter amount of time than I expected.
I was offered a copy to read through Voracious Readers in return for an honest review.
This story is engaging and mysterious right from the get-go. At first, Khloe is caught up in the grief of losing her best friend, she tries to figure out ways to compensate and overcome the regret of his death. The patterns of her behaviour are slightly repetitive (but that's due to the persisting habits of addiction and drink) until Khloe hits rock bottom and realizes that she needs to find a new way to live. A new way to move forward.
Which she does.
The author, Thielman, is brave to tackle such subjects as suicide, grief, drunkenness and addictions, she does so with bluntness showing the rawness of each situation, and yet, as Khloe grows, she offers compassion as she comes to terms with her friend's death.
I liked Khloe, I liked her strategies she used and her supportive friends. In essence, this is a very good story and offers something different to think about. I found it engaging and I read it in a shorter amount of time than I expected.
I was offered a copy to read through Voracious Readers in return for an honest review.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 16, 2019
I enjoyed reading the book it's shows a lot of how an addict struggles day to day I will be watching out for more books by Amber Thielman I received this book free from voraciousreadersonly for my honest review
July 10, 2019
A great storyline! Hard to put down! Intense and Emotional! Hot Chemistry! I truly enjoyed this read! Get it and Read it!
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
May 6, 2019
This book was amazing. I loved the way the author ended it. Wow. This was a beautiful written book.
April 1, 2020
Khloe Daniels is in absolute shock when she gets a phone call from her best friend Carter Drake that confuses her and when she arrives at his house she finds him dead from suicide. Now she finds herself falling apart without him and doing everything that he would disapprove of as she tries to go on living.
When Carter’s younger sister, Gracie, secretly gives her his journal, Khloe hopes it will fill in the pieces of why he would do something without letting her know what he was going through.
Yet will Khloe find the answers she needs or will she find herself down a dangerous path that she may not survive?
This was a beautifully written book about the dealings of suicide on those you love and the dark slippery slope it can lead others to. I found one part I struggled a little bit with is the rampant drug and alcohol use which led to a lot of casual sex and really put Khloe at risk for so many different things.
My heart broke for Khloe as Carter was her main family but I also found that she really disrespected him which may have been her way of coping as she did everything that she knew he would not approve of. I felt awful for her and I found her friendship with Ava was disappointing as both began to use more and more drugs which Carter would not approve of at all.
I liked that Khloe began to unravel Carter’s secrets but I was surprised that she would read one page and then follow up on it before reading everything which may give her more clues to what was going on. I liked that Khloe found Mrs. Dunham and I wish she would have let Mrs. Dunham help her more.
I loved that Khloe found both Ty and Jay through Carter’s death. They were so stable and good for her although she continued her destructive behaviour with Ava and Jesse. I was shocked at what happened to Khloe because of Jesse and I was so frustrated that it took her so long to let go of him and everything that he brought with him.
I was so proud of Khloe for deciding she was ready to get sober and I was so thankful that Jay and Ty stood by her side helping her through the most difficult times!
The last journal entry made me pretty sad as I knew it was what Carter wanted but at the same time I was sad that he never ever let Khloe into his struggles as maybe she could have helped him!
By Rebecca
When Carter’s younger sister, Gracie, secretly gives her his journal, Khloe hopes it will fill in the pieces of why he would do something without letting her know what he was going through.
Yet will Khloe find the answers she needs or will she find herself down a dangerous path that she may not survive?
This was a beautifully written book about the dealings of suicide on those you love and the dark slippery slope it can lead others to. I found one part I struggled a little bit with is the rampant drug and alcohol use which led to a lot of casual sex and really put Khloe at risk for so many different things.
My heart broke for Khloe as Carter was her main family but I also found that she really disrespected him which may have been her way of coping as she did everything that she knew he would not approve of. I felt awful for her and I found her friendship with Ava was disappointing as both began to use more and more drugs which Carter would not approve of at all.
I liked that Khloe began to unravel Carter’s secrets but I was surprised that she would read one page and then follow up on it before reading everything which may give her more clues to what was going on. I liked that Khloe found Mrs. Dunham and I wish she would have let Mrs. Dunham help her more.
I loved that Khloe found both Ty and Jay through Carter’s death. They were so stable and good for her although she continued her destructive behaviour with Ava and Jesse. I was shocked at what happened to Khloe because of Jesse and I was so frustrated that it took her so long to let go of him and everything that he brought with him.
I was so proud of Khloe for deciding she was ready to get sober and I was so thankful that Jay and Ty stood by her side helping her through the most difficult times!
The last journal entry made me pretty sad as I knew it was what Carter wanted but at the same time I was sad that he never ever let Khloe into his struggles as maybe she could have helped him!
By Rebecca
May 3, 2020
This was a beautifully written book about the dealings of suicide on those you love and the dark slippery slope it can lead others to. I found one part I struggled a little bit with is the rampant drug and alcohol use which led to a lot of casual sex and really put Khloe at risk for so many different things.
My heart broke for Khloe as Carter was her main family but I also found that she really disrespected him which may have been her way of coping as she did everything that she knew he would not approve of. I felt awful for her and I found her friendship with Ava was disappointing as both began to use more and more drugs which Carter would not approve of at all.
I liked that Khloe began to unravel Carter’s secrets but I was surprised that she would read one page and then follow up on it before reading everything which may give her more clues to what was going on. I liked that Khloe found Mrs. Dunham and I wish she would have let Mrs. Dunham help her more.
I loved that Khloe found both Ty and Jay through Carter’s death. They were so stable and good for her although she continued her destructive behaviour with Ava and Jesse. I was shocked at what happened to Khloe because of Jesse and I was so frustrated that it took her so long to let go of him and everything that he brought with him.
I was so proud of Khloe for deciding she was ready to get sober and I was so thankful that Jay and Ty stood by her side helping her through the most difficult times!
The last journal entry made me pretty sad as I knew it was what Carter wanted but at the same time I was sad that he never ever let Khloe into his struggles as maybe she could have helped him!
My heart broke for Khloe as Carter was her main family but I also found that she really disrespected him which may have been her way of coping as she did everything that she knew he would not approve of. I felt awful for her and I found her friendship with Ava was disappointing as both began to use more and more drugs which Carter would not approve of at all.
I liked that Khloe began to unravel Carter’s secrets but I was surprised that she would read one page and then follow up on it before reading everything which may give her more clues to what was going on. I liked that Khloe found Mrs. Dunham and I wish she would have let Mrs. Dunham help her more.
I loved that Khloe found both Ty and Jay through Carter’s death. They were so stable and good for her although she continued her destructive behaviour with Ava and Jesse. I was shocked at what happened to Khloe because of Jesse and I was so frustrated that it took her so long to let go of him and everything that he brought with him.
I was so proud of Khloe for deciding she was ready to get sober and I was so thankful that Jay and Ty stood by her side helping her through the most difficult times!
The last journal entry made me pretty sad as I knew it was what Carter wanted but at the same time I was sad that he never ever let Khloe into his struggles as maybe she could have helped him!
April 21, 2020
Wow! This book is so emotional, moving, and gut wrenching. Khloe gets a call from her best friend Carter and sensing something is wrong she goes to his house to find him dead. We also meet Khloe’s friend Ava, that is addicted to drugs and alcohol. Which leads Khloe to turn to drugs and alcohol to forget about Carter’s suicide. Khloe gets Carter’s journal and starts reading to try and discover the reason for his death. On her journey she meets Jay, Carter’s ex boyfriend, and Ty, the paramedic that tried to save Carter. I was so happy she found them, and had someone to be by her side and with their help she’s able to put her life back together. This is a powerful story that is intense, emotional, a story of strength and is brilliantly written.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
April 13, 2020
Intense , dark and emotional best describes this story. The author does a fantastic job bringing a deep,raw feeling with her vividly detailed scenes. She shows the despair and grief of addiction and the effects on her characters and their relationships. This is not an easy read and I have to admit I shed many tears while reading this story. It's well written,realistic and unfortunately true to life. Well done!
I voluntarily reviewed an ARC of this book. All opinions in this review are my own and freely given.
I voluntarily reviewed an ARC of this book. All opinions in this review are my own and freely given.
June 23, 2020
I was dubious about this, given that it ties romance to recovery. I worried the author would fall into the trap of allowing the main character to be rescued by love, but it was actually a well balanced resolution, ensuring that the plot doesn't hinge on reliant or codependent relationships but instead gives good examples of interdependence and the importance of multiple platonic as well as romantic relationships.
April 24, 2020
This one was a little different from what I was used to from this author. It was a little darker, a little more serious and not at all so carefree than for example Almost paradise in my opinion. Still very strong, meaningful storyline that I enjoyed reading. 5 stars. I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
April 27, 2020
A wonderful powerful well written emotional story. This engaging storyline is intense showing amazing strength that kept me addicted page after page. It's an amazing journey through loss, grief, addiction, all the way to recovery. Very poignant and heartfelt story that I voluntarily read and reviewed.
August 26, 2020
*I received a free copy of this book from the author via voracious readers only in exchange for an honest review*
I can understand why some other readers liked this one and it was a nice concept, however there was far too much drug use and needles in this for me. Not really my thing so I didn't really end up enjoying it.
I can understand why some other readers liked this one and it was a nice concept, however there was far too much drug use and needles in this for me. Not really my thing so I didn't really end up enjoying it.
October 3, 2020
This is the 1st book I've read written by Brittiany Morgan; she has done a great job at writing a good book; I can’t wait to read more of her books.
The story line caught my attention at the very beginning and kept me interested throughout the entire book.
I loved the characters.
I received a free copy of this book via booksprout and I’m voluntarily leaving a review.
The story line caught my attention at the very beginning and kept me interested throughout the entire book.
I loved the characters.
I received a free copy of this book via booksprout and I’m voluntarily leaving a review.
January 23, 2021
I couldn’t put it down. I read the whole book in something like 6 hours. I’ve read similar stories, but they weren’t quite as intense as this. A great read for struggling teens, but definitely not for the faint of heart.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review
I received a complimentary copy of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review
April 24, 2020
ten stars! amazing characters. fast paced storyline. Lots of drama and suspense. Read cover to cover because I couldn't put it down.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
April 26, 2020
Get a box of tissues ready for this one from start to finish I needed them. Very good book I had trouble putting it down.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
April 22, 2020
Well........damn
Intense, dark, gripping, heart wrenching and an emotional, physical and mental journey for both the characters and the reader.
Intense, dark, gripping, heart wrenching and an emotional, physical and mental journey for both the characters and the reader.
February 10, 2019
OMG!!! I have to warn you readers, this book will rip your heart out and shove it back in your chest. You know the movie Romancing The Stone...the part where Joan Wilder is finishing her book and crying so hard and out of tissue....Yep it is like that! So be prepared with a huge box of tissues. So here it is my review as I am currently trying to get my tears in check.
Khloe is young and has many problems and addictions. A high school drop out, who’s life is not going anywhere. Then on one fateful night the fragile life she has is shattered by the death of her best friend. When Carter died the fragile life Khloe was holding on to by a string, shatters completely. On a downward spiral full of drugs and booze, Khloe’s life is hanging on by a thread.
With Carter’s journal she slowly embarks on a path to discover the why to Carter’s death. The journey that begins is not one she will truly understand till the very end. She will not be able to do this on her own, but it will take time for her to realize and accept the help of those who come into her life.
Wow! This book is the most heart wrenching book I have read in a long time. I was such an ugly crier reading this book. The story so strong and deep it really reached into my soul and ripped it out. I am still having a hard time getting the tears under control. But I have to tell you that even though this story was a dark and lonely path, it was the most beautiful story to touch my soul.
The characters in this book were so developed and deep. Each played their part in the story well. Each bringing their own to the table. Supporting one another in ways they don’t imagine. Ty for instance. He was a very big supporter. You ask the question that Khloe asks herself over and over again. Why me? Why do you want to be in my messed up world? I am not worthy of you.
Just like Jay. He has such a heart of gold and I am so glad he was there for Khloe, even though he did not know her well, he still stuck by her through it all. Even helping to step up to the plate with Ava.
This odd group of friends grow a bond that will help them all in the long run.
I must prepare you, the reader, before you begin. This story is not for the faint of heart. It may not be erotic in nature , but the darkness of the world of a addict is deeply and exactly described in clear detail. It is a world most don’t ever get introduced too, but the story that Amber has written is so real and detailed that it is like you are experiencing the horrors with Khloe. This makes for an amazing story of strength and independence. A story of love and forgiveness, unlike any other out there.
So if you want to feel and believe in the hope that we can do anything we put our minds to, then you may just be reading the right book for you. But it is not a pretty happily ever after tale. It is dark, scary and at times lonely. But it will show you strength and courage.
Bravo Amber Thielman! Bravo! An excellent read!!!!!!!!
Khloe is young and has many problems and addictions. A high school drop out, who’s life is not going anywhere. Then on one fateful night the fragile life she has is shattered by the death of her best friend. When Carter died the fragile life Khloe was holding on to by a string, shatters completely. On a downward spiral full of drugs and booze, Khloe’s life is hanging on by a thread.
With Carter’s journal she slowly embarks on a path to discover the why to Carter’s death. The journey that begins is not one she will truly understand till the very end. She will not be able to do this on her own, but it will take time for her to realize and accept the help of those who come into her life.
Wow! This book is the most heart wrenching book I have read in a long time. I was such an ugly crier reading this book. The story so strong and deep it really reached into my soul and ripped it out. I am still having a hard time getting the tears under control. But I have to tell you that even though this story was a dark and lonely path, it was the most beautiful story to touch my soul.
The characters in this book were so developed and deep. Each played their part in the story well. Each bringing their own to the table. Supporting one another in ways they don’t imagine. Ty for instance. He was a very big supporter. You ask the question that Khloe asks herself over and over again. Why me? Why do you want to be in my messed up world? I am not worthy of you.
Just like Jay. He has such a heart of gold and I am so glad he was there for Khloe, even though he did not know her well, he still stuck by her through it all. Even helping to step up to the plate with Ava.
This odd group of friends grow a bond that will help them all in the long run.
I must prepare you, the reader, before you begin. This story is not for the faint of heart. It may not be erotic in nature , but the darkness of the world of a addict is deeply and exactly described in clear detail. It is a world most don’t ever get introduced too, but the story that Amber has written is so real and detailed that it is like you are experiencing the horrors with Khloe. This makes for an amazing story of strength and independence. A story of love and forgiveness, unlike any other out there.
So if you want to feel and believe in the hope that we can do anything we put our minds to, then you may just be reading the right book for you. But it is not a pretty happily ever after tale. It is dark, scary and at times lonely. But it will show you strength and courage.
Bravo Amber Thielman! Bravo! An excellent read!!!!!!!!
June 17, 2019
The subject matter of this novel is intense, which makes it a difficult novel to read. Having said that, I found that the author handled the material in as sensitive a manner as possible. It's a disturbing read, but I found it to be a very worthwhile one.
This novel reminds me an awful lot of Go Ask Alice, which I read several times in junior high, and, I believe, at least once as an adult. This novel is both lighter and darker than Go Ask Alice.
The story does move along at a good pace, and is set in the first person. There are snippets of diary entries from Carter, whose suicide triggers the events of the novel. I found that the major characters are well fleshed-out in spite of the first-person narration, which can be a challenge. There are some minor characters that I wish had been better developed, as well as a couple of plotlines that fell flat or were kind of left trailing.
I think the character development was very well handled. I have some questions outstanding about Khloe's parents, but I recognise that this is Khloe's story, so I think the author, largely, made the right choice in excluding those answers. I do wish there had been more of a background on where Khloe's problems really started and how she came to be where she was at the novel's outset. A little bit is revealed, but, for me anyway, it raised more questions rather than providing the context and framework I was hoping to learn. There were a couple of characters who I felt were just too perfect to be believable. I wish they had some rough edges to them to make them more realistic.
There were a lot of mistakes in the edition I read - more than what I think a fair share would be. An addition editing pass would have done wonders for this. In addition to spelling problems (heroine/heroin, 'O clock/o'clock, procaine/prochaine, etc), there was a scene where the timing was really unclear to me (that may have been me not paying attention to diary entry dates, though).
This is a very compelling - if difficult to read - novel. I can't say, based on the heavy subject matter, that I would actively recommend it, but I am very glad that I read it.
I received a copy of this book through Voracious Readers Only.
This novel reminds me an awful lot of Go Ask Alice, which I read several times in junior high, and, I believe, at least once as an adult. This novel is both lighter and darker than Go Ask Alice.
The story does move along at a good pace, and is set in the first person. There are snippets of diary entries from Carter, whose suicide triggers the events of the novel. I found that the major characters are well fleshed-out in spite of the first-person narration, which can be a challenge. There are some minor characters that I wish had been better developed, as well as a couple of plotlines that fell flat or were kind of left trailing.
I think the character development was very well handled. I have some questions outstanding about Khloe's parents, but I recognise that this is Khloe's story, so I think the author, largely, made the right choice in excluding those answers. I do wish there had been more of a background on where Khloe's problems really started and how she came to be where she was at the novel's outset. A little bit is revealed, but, for me anyway, it raised more questions rather than providing the context and framework I was hoping to learn. There were a couple of characters who I felt were just too perfect to be believable. I wish they had some rough edges to them to make them more realistic.
There were a lot of mistakes in the edition I read - more than what I think a fair share would be. An addition editing pass would have done wonders for this. In addition to spelling problems (heroine/heroin, 'O clock/o'clock, procaine/prochaine, etc), there was a scene where the timing was really unclear to me (that may have been me not paying attention to diary entry dates, though).
This is a very compelling - if difficult to read - novel. I can't say, based on the heavy subject matter, that I would actively recommend it, but I am very glad that I read it.
I received a copy of this book through Voracious Readers Only.
February 10, 2019
If I Fall
By Amber Thielman
Main Characters: Khloe, Carter, Ty and Jay
I voluntarily and honestly reviewed this book without bias or persuasion from the author.
5 out of 5 stars
Wow, this book was a doozy! I'm not even sure what to say about it but I will try. First this deals with teen suicide, drugs, pills and alcohol. It was extremely depressing to me as it hit a little close to home as I lost my only daughter at 17 to suicide. No drugs or anything like that but we were left in the same predicament as the m/c Khloe was in after it happened and still to this day some 27 years later do not understand why. This book made me so sad, angry, anxious, concerned, depressed, disgusted, helpless, troubled, and upset. But it also made me feel good with the way this author ended the book. What horrible things Khloe had to overcome. Loved the fact we got to hear Carter's story thru his journal. This was a story that should be read by a wide range of people. It enlightens you to how desperate some people are when they are different than what is considered the norm. I have read tons of books and this was maybe the 2nd book that had me needing tissues and lots of them. I highly recommend this book.
By Amber Thielman
Main Characters: Khloe, Carter, Ty and Jay
I voluntarily and honestly reviewed this book without bias or persuasion from the author.
5 out of 5 stars
Wow, this book was a doozy! I'm not even sure what to say about it but I will try. First this deals with teen suicide, drugs, pills and alcohol. It was extremely depressing to me as it hit a little close to home as I lost my only daughter at 17 to suicide. No drugs or anything like that but we were left in the same predicament as the m/c Khloe was in after it happened and still to this day some 27 years later do not understand why. This book made me so sad, angry, anxious, concerned, depressed, disgusted, helpless, troubled, and upset. But it also made me feel good with the way this author ended the book. What horrible things Khloe had to overcome. Loved the fact we got to hear Carter's story thru his journal. This was a story that should be read by a wide range of people. It enlightens you to how desperate some people are when they are different than what is considered the norm. I have read tons of books and this was maybe the 2nd book that had me needing tissues and lots of them. I highly recommend this book.
February 17, 2019
Amazing, emotionally charged, soul touching and heart warming
I don't have words to fully describe what this book done to me. It was so intense emotionally that it took me a while to get my thoughts around and finally put them into review. The emotions put into the words by the author, and then delivered in the story line that was perfectly thought through, were raw and touched me deeply, straight to my soul. The subject is not easy to even think about. This book made me cry but also in the course of the plot made my heart swell with hope and pride for the main characters.
It is not a usual romantic story but it has so many romantic moments and gives hope, shows that anything is possible if we only give ourselves a chance to change our destructive ways. People are really capable to fight their demons and can fight for themselves. On the other hand we can fight for the people who are close to us. Maybe they just need our support and we need to look around and start helping them. Just simply being for someone is sometimes enough.
Great, fantastic, deep, emotional read!
If you are looking for the book that will move you this full of angst and raw emotions read is waiting for you.
I don't have words to fully describe what this book done to me. It was so intense emotionally that it took me a while to get my thoughts around and finally put them into review. The emotions put into the words by the author, and then delivered in the story line that was perfectly thought through, were raw and touched me deeply, straight to my soul. The subject is not easy to even think about. This book made me cry but also in the course of the plot made my heart swell with hope and pride for the main characters.
It is not a usual romantic story but it has so many romantic moments and gives hope, shows that anything is possible if we only give ourselves a chance to change our destructive ways. People are really capable to fight their demons and can fight for themselves. On the other hand we can fight for the people who are close to us. Maybe they just need our support and we need to look around and start helping them. Just simply being for someone is sometimes enough.
Great, fantastic, deep, emotional read!
If you are looking for the book that will move you this full of angst and raw emotions read is waiting for you.
February 17, 2019
I voluntarily reviewed an advance reader copy of this book. This is a difficult review for me to do. This book is beautifully written and full of emotion. It is also very dark - much darker than books I normally feel comfortable reading. It deals with suicide and drug and alcohol addictions and the havoc these things can wreak on people and their families. The author embraces all of these subjects with sensitivity and realism. And while the subject matter throughout is very dark and bleak and the story is full of turmoil, there are also little moments of hope spread throughout. This book had me reeling with emotions - sadness, frustration, anger, hope and happiness - and overall I really found the storyline to be much too dark and depressing for me. However, I have to give the author credit for a beautifully and brilliantly written story. While this was not an easy book for me, personally, to read and the story was not really to my taste, I am very glad that I read it and I have to give it 5 stars. A powerful and poignant story.
April 21, 2020
I would especially like to thank the Booksprout site and especially the author without whom I would never have been able to read this book.
I was immediately attracted by the beautiful cover of this book, it shows the pretty Khloé sitting against a wall and seems sad.
It all starts when Khloe's best friend dies, how is she going to survive without him by her side. Yet Carter would never do that. Until the day she stumbles upon his secret journal. She's gonna come across a lot of things she never would have thought about Carter: Prescription drugs, drugs, sex, you name it. Her friend Ava will try to talk some sense into her, but Khloe insists on knowing the whole truth about Carter. She'll eventually break down morally and Ty a paramedic will save her life and take her heart along the way.
A book read in one go, so much so that I immediately fell in love with the story which is so moving, captivating, addictive, full of suspense and twists and turns with very endearing characters, especially Khloé's one. A book that I would suddenly buy in paper format to read and reread.
I was immediately attracted by the beautiful cover of this book, it shows the pretty Khloé sitting against a wall and seems sad.
It all starts when Khloe's best friend dies, how is she going to survive without him by her side. Yet Carter would never do that. Until the day she stumbles upon his secret journal. She's gonna come across a lot of things she never would have thought about Carter: Prescription drugs, drugs, sex, you name it. Her friend Ava will try to talk some sense into her, but Khloe insists on knowing the whole truth about Carter. She'll eventually break down morally and Ty a paramedic will save her life and take her heart along the way.
A book read in one go, so much so that I immediately fell in love with the story which is so moving, captivating, addictive, full of suspense and twists and turns with very endearing characters, especially Khloé's one. A book that I would suddenly buy in paper format to read and reread.
February 16, 2019
Wow! What an impactful book. At times you want to scream at Khloe and her friend Ava due to all of the alcohol and drugs that they are using.
Khloe was on a journey to find out why her bestfriend would commit suicide. She ends up spiraling out of control drinking and drugs to kill her pain.
Ava is in many ways a good friend but was also an enabler. She supplied drugs and introduced Khloe to people who did harder drugs. All the while using herself, making it easier for Khloe to do the same.
Along her journey two amazing men come into her life because of Carter, Ty who was the paramedic who responded when Carter Died and Jay through Carters journal.
This book made you cry, laugh, and cry some more. It was an emotional roller coaster for all involved. It also hits on what is happening in the world right now to the young Adults, addiction, parties, suicide and overdoses. Very poignant and heartfelt.
I am giving an honest review in exchange for reading this book.
Khloe was on a journey to find out why her bestfriend would commit suicide. She ends up spiraling out of control drinking and drugs to kill her pain.
Ava is in many ways a good friend but was also an enabler. She supplied drugs and introduced Khloe to people who did harder drugs. All the while using herself, making it easier for Khloe to do the same.
Along her journey two amazing men come into her life because of Carter, Ty who was the paramedic who responded when Carter Died and Jay through Carters journal.
This book made you cry, laugh, and cry some more. It was an emotional roller coaster for all involved. It also hits on what is happening in the world right now to the young Adults, addiction, parties, suicide and overdoses. Very poignant and heartfelt.
I am giving an honest review in exchange for reading this book.
April 3, 2019
I received this book for free in exchange for an honest review...
Khloe and Carter have been friends ever since they were little. His family was hers and vice versa. Khloe has always been the compulsive one and troublemaker while Carter was reserved and patient. When Khloe's mom dies her father turns into an alcoholic and Khloe starts down the same path. She loves alcohol and drugs and is instrumental at Carter's brothers demise.
Fast forward to their 20s and they are still friends and as close as ever or so Khloe thought. Carter commits suicide and Khloe was the one that found him. Shes been sober of drugs for some time but with this lose she spirals once again.
This book is about Khloe's struggle with loss, grieve and her battle with addiction. Carter's journal opens Khloe's eyes to things she never knew about her best friend and how much he wanted her to be successful and loved her. It's a great read and shows true struggle of grief and addiction.
Khloe and Carter have been friends ever since they were little. His family was hers and vice versa. Khloe has always been the compulsive one and troublemaker while Carter was reserved and patient. When Khloe's mom dies her father turns into an alcoholic and Khloe starts down the same path. She loves alcohol and drugs and is instrumental at Carter's brothers demise.
Fast forward to their 20s and they are still friends and as close as ever or so Khloe thought. Carter commits suicide and Khloe was the one that found him. Shes been sober of drugs for some time but with this lose she spirals once again.
This book is about Khloe's struggle with loss, grieve and her battle with addiction. Carter's journal opens Khloe's eyes to things she never knew about her best friend and how much he wanted her to be successful and loved her. It's a great read and shows true struggle of grief and addiction.
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