[APOLOGIES first to the author and to anybody who reads this review, firstly because it might seem very harsh, secondly because it's huge]
There is a great section in this memoir when the author self-deprecatingly includes her story of all the rejections she received from literary agents:
"These letters are targeted messages from the publishing industry to me, and they say, 'your life story is boring, your writing is pitiful, there is nothing to be learned from your experience, and you might want to consider just GROWING THE FUCK UP.'"
Whether these statements are reflective of what was actually said in the rejection letters, or whether they are imagined by the author, I can't help but agree with each of these sentiments to some extent, and especially the last.
Pure is a memoir and psychological autobiography, focusing on a condition suffered by the author called "Pure O", an OCD disorder where the compulsive elements are not outwardly visible. In itself, it is a fascinating condition and a torturous one, and I was very interested in reading about it via the first-hand experiences of a sufferer who as a writer, should be able to articulate its intricacies. The author's variety of obsessional and intrusive thoughts centre on sexual identity, and bombard the sufferer with thousands of hardcore sexual images each day, with the apparent motive of forcing the sufferer to (re)consider her sexual preferences. Hence we have a memoir full of words like "minge", "fok", "fatties" and "mams": while this serves to exemplify the kind of thoughts the author has, it also reads a little like a Loaded magazine letters section, and is quite off-putting.
"How have I, and millions like me, been so spectacularly let down by the professionals charged with our care?"
This is written towards the end of the book, and sums up perfectly the misguided attitude that runs throughout. I am not a psychiatrist, I'm glad to say. I did however work as a psychological therapist in a mental health centre for four years, before I got too thoroughly depressed with the whole situation. This sense of entitlement is very common among mental health service users, the sense that their problem is down to the ineptitude of the therapists and carers, rather than their own physical or psychological dysfunction. What the author suffers from sounds horrendous—but almost as galling is this infantile lack of insight into the subjective nature of psychology, and the inherent limitations in medical care, that she would think that others could, and need to, climb inside her head and "fix" it. Again, as a non-psychiatrist, this is not medical advice, but the author seems to have a physical problem with her brain that may be aided by medication. Perhaps even the same medication that she details she was prescribed, but refused to take.
At one point she forces the reader to traipse with her through her medical record, mocking the attempts of doctors to help her: in one particularly egregious case, she speaks of a doctor who broke out from the mould of brevity when making notes on her medical record to actually detail the steps the doctor took to try to help the author, and then attacks this doctor mercilessly with a "Why wasn't OCD diagnosed then?" and worse, a slanderous statement, "All this doctor had done was collude in my self-defeating behaviour...She'd essentially been acting out a compulsion for me, giving an alcoholic a drink." This is a facile and ungrateful temper-tantrum, and is as ugly to read as it is to watch a snotty child screaming in Asda because it refuses to leave without toys and sweets.
There's an overarching entitlement in this memoir, demonstrated many times but exemplified by this, the author's unhelpful assessment of psychiatry and medical professionals, basically as "useless", because they are not perfect and can't always diagnose precisely the nuanced disorder that the author suffers from. There is this strange dichotomy whereby the author blames all health professionals and the NHS for not being good enough, yet still expects them all to suddenly get together and fix it, rather than see that it's perhaps a learning process for everybody.
It's a...brave?...entitled?...narcissistic?...thing to write a memoir when you are young and have made no impact on humanity. Great fiction is often memoir, subtly adjusted, and I think the author could have made a good fictional character. As a memoir however, this is predictably dull, and often churlish. The author lives in East London among "hipsters", and frequently bashes them for their vein fakery, and yet the vernacular employed in the book is very hipster. Worse, as I've mentioned, it's very "lad's mag". "New lads" were the hipsters of the 1990s, so what we in fact have is somebody slightly behind-the-times attacking people who aren't. She never seems to consider that people might dress the way they do because they enjoy it, or like the style, rather than want to perpetuate a fake image. In essence, the author is a bigot, and yet she implores us to empathise with her situation on every page. She writes of countless "me against them" scenarios and for me, this produced a real disconnect: I always sided with the "thems".
One of the biggest offenders in this regard are the frequent, somewhat psychotic references to "Hollywood"—that "it" shows us this certain thing happening, but in reality things are totally different, and therefore it is bad or culpable. I'm assuming she means the movie industry and not the actual place. Here the author shows that she generalises firstly all artistic filmic output, and secondly the experiences of everybody but her—i.e. that "Hollywood" (for example, The Godfather and Paul Blart:Mall Cop) depicts reality for nobody. It's a strange, truculent and distasteful attitude, and it made me lose empathy for the author.
Similarly, there is a part of the book where she namedrops Jake Gyllenhaal, as she has used her new media connections to appear as an extra in a video he is starring in. The author feigns nonchalance at this like a teenager might do as a normal part of their development. She attacks the other extras for being so shallow that they want to be near Jake Gyllenhaal, and so desperate to be needed that they pretend to be in a nightclub enjoying themselves. It never crosses the author's mind that some of these other people might view it as "a bit of fun". Perhaps they even like nightclubs and dancing. The author's illness has led to her spending a lifetime pretending that she's happy, or having fun, so that she doesn't stand out as abnormal—it seems she temporarily forgets this fact from time to time, and makes the normative assumption that everybody else does likewise: well I for one can count myself lucky that despite some social awkwardness at various times, I go out to places because for me it is enjoyable—not because I want to pretend it is.
The study of the author's life so far has interesting sections, but overall is not that interesting. It is repetitive, as you might imagine it would be when discussing a highly-repetitive, obsessive condition. There is a lot of filler, not especially well-written—very personal accounts of love and relationships that to be honest are needlessly fleshed-out and don't add to the progression of the narrative regarding her condition and how she learns to at least begin to overcome it. The timeline is all over the place too, and not very well-linked. Sections of the book about the Pure O condition could use additional research and more perspectives to be helpful or more interesting. The author mentions a man she knows who had paedophillic obsessive thoughts and went to jail, almost losing his marriage—leaving me thinking, That's who I want to read about! A short description or interview with another sufferer might have made the book much more interesting and important.
The quality of the writing in this memoir is patchy, as is the editing. Too-frequently the author relies on hackneyed magazine and social media-speak, for example, my most-hated trend, the NEEDLESS. PUNCTUATION. AND. CAPITILISATION. FOR. EMPHASIS. It's not all bad; there is one particularly heartfelt section about her father and brother wanting to protect her—for me, the high-point of the whole book—that is nicely written. The editing of this e-book edition has a few mistakes in it, and one very-noticeable repetition of a paragraph, where the words were slightly changed (i.e. "edited", and then both paras were left in). There are attempts at more creative writing but they are often not especially original, and they seem randomly placed.
Overall, I don't know what this book was going for, with the exception of catharsis for the author. It vaguely hints at a solution to this disorder by bad-mouthing all psychological therapy except behavioural therapies, but I can't help but feel that this is an intensely personal solution for the author and may be unhelpful to many sufferers who may benefit from medication and other talk-therapies. This is a memoir that you don't need to read, about somebody you don't need to know, who offers little but bile, cynicism and bitchiness towards many groups of people despite occasionally producing some touching prose, and who starts an exploration of a very tragic and interesting mental disorder but fails to do it justice or make you care too much about it.