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285 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 19, 2018
"I want to be by your side from now on, if you'll let me. ... I'm trying to become a person worthy of you"
"When you were preparing tea earlier, she... I'm not sure how to put this... had a very severe look on her face. (...) I will refrain from going into detail about what she said but in a very serious tone, she told me that I didn't know how much I had hurt you last year, and demanded that I never upset someone she cares about like that again. (p.174)
"Why do you treat me like some rock on the side of the road? What do you think I am? A doll that's not good for anything but being on display? (...) you had the audacity to try to abandon me and walk off into the darkness. It's beyond asinine and irrational. English people do not appreciate irrationality. So tell me, why are you treating me this way?" (p. 230)
The moment I realized that he had been watching over me and accepting me for who I was on a much deeper level that I could have imagined, I felt like I had been tossed into the middle of the ocean--it was salty, and I struggled to breathe. I was such a loser, such a thoughtless person, a timid child crying in the dark with his knees held tightly to his chest, and yet it felt like he took it all in and said that it was fine. But it wasn't just a feeling, he believed in me, more than I could ever believe. (pp.247-248)
"At times, I also find it easier to breathe when you're with me." (p.282)
''you strike me as a twisted mirror of a person. i used to despise mirrors. they made me hate my face as it grew more similar to my mother's by the day. but you are a different sort of mirror. the circumstances of our births and childhoods couldn't be more different, yet the very cores of our souls are excessively similar. so perhaps it is my job to say this to you. i love you. i love you so much, i can't help myself. and that's why i'm angry with you to a similar degree.''
''at times, i also find it easier to breathe when you're with me.''
''you don't think of me as tangible, something that is always by your side. that is why i remain someone distant and unreachable to you. it is almost as if we are ferrymen, captaining different boats on the same river, while you may continue to wave and call out to me, you never attempt to get on the same boat. you never attempt to close the distance between us. and you never allow me to pay your price, the affection, you are worth.''
