Leaving Mother Lake: A Girlhood at the Edge of the World

by Yang Erche Namu, Christine Mathieu

A young Chinese woman describes growing up in Moso country in the Himalayas, among her people's unique matrilineal society and the conflicts with her strong-willed mother that led her to leave her mother's home to create a life of own. 25,000 first printing.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, China, Book Club, Asia, History, Biography

293 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2003

About the author

Yang Erche Namu is a Chinese writer and singer of Moso ethnicity.

Reviews

[Jeanette · Rating 4 out of 5]

This autobiography is certainly different. Not just in the cultural matrilineal context but in the voice of the speaker, Namu. I don't believe that in all my years of reading, and in anthropological or any Asian ethnology or even in fiction, have I come across a female as nervy, bombastic, and frankly egotistical. Others might see it differently or perceive only some form of sparkling personality from the get-go, but I still think she is highly unusual. For any culture. And not only in her reactions. Not entirely in a bad way, but absolutely not your sweet young thing either. Ever. IMHO, she does not typify her culture, but is completely outlier to it. Her Mother is too, but to a far less degree. But Namu would not have been enabled to her role within Han culture without her Mother's role model.

Namu comes from a culture of only about 30,000 members in the far reaches of China close to Tibet. These Mosa have a tradition of matrilineal family groupings. This book is her story, in her voice, until she reaches the mid-twenties. No spoilers, but I'm 99% that Namu is a marketing and p.r. expert. She tells you just enough about the toads in her soul to get you to hear the birdsong in her voice. She's a Mosa Chinese "Madonna Ciccone" successful at changing her image when interest wans. Most people will like this book as an introduction to Mosa culture. But to me it was far more fascinating to read about how that culture was influenced during the Chinese Cultural Revolution and afterwards, especially to the use of manufactured goods or electricity. It's quite changed today. It is not a matriarchal power authority for the entire group, but matrilineal in house groupings. Every adult (after skirt ceremony) female has their own small room. It is extremely elemental in housing structure and food groups eaten. Wood is burned for fuel- floors are dirt- shoes are ornamental and rarely worn. Marriage is disdained as a basis for family organization with the Mother's brothers, father, nephews helping raise their sister's children. The Hopi (North America) have matrilineal descent and organization but their ownerships and other aspects differ. The Mosa see women as "in" the house- men's work away and outside. Men will visit at night but are most often "away" herding or trading or traveling for teas or new animals.

I hope she does another continuation to her story- because there is a lot to tell. And I feel like she would have an interesting slant to tell it in, as well. It was a 3.5 star, but I rounded it up for her sense of hubris.

[Silvana · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a delightful memoir! I've never 'read' a female voice that is so vivacious, daring and rambunctious. I guess the environment where the author grew up also plays an important role. Yang Erche Namu was born in the Moso tribe - administratively part of the Sichuan province in west China, but it is so remote and during her childhood you could only go there via horse or walking across mountains, forests etc.

Moso people - incorrectly classified as Naxi people as one of the 55 ethnic minorities in China - is unique due to their matrilenial culture that erased traditional marriage as we know it from their dictionary. Children live with their mothers' families, whatever happened in a woman's room was a woman's private affair. Moso women are not sullied by sexual shame, unlike most of the world, and abide by rules of honor preventing malicious gossip. According to the Moso people, love is like the seasons, it comes and goes. A Moso woman may have many lovers during her lifetime and may have many children. Fathers are not important as they don't live with the children who are raised in their mother's house with the cousins and uncles. They don't need marriages for economic and security purposes as well. I think it is an ingenious design that in their case actually works well and save them from a lot of trouble like in our society LOL

Anyway, back to the author's story. Her case is rather unique since she used to be a famous singer who ran away from home at the age of 16 (more or less, they didn't really keep any record) to join a troupe. When she was eight years old, she was sent to live with her uncle who herded yaks in the mountains - lots of funny stuff here. When she was a teen, her singing talent brought her to the cities and opened up a whole new world for her. Being adventurous and rebellious, she decided to leave her family - with lots of drama - to study at the Shanghai Conservatory of Music - the place where she first learned to read and write. During that time, the government provided special quota and support for ethnic minorities. Her journey from childhood was really interesting, I thoroughly enjoy everything from the culture, her dynamics with her mother, siblings, uncle, and father (who in her case often visited her and brought gifts) and other ethnic minorities. She also told the story of how the government tried to enforce their rules starting from the Cultural Revolution - often to the bafflement of the Moso people - including on marriages. Her life at the university was fascinating as well, considering her ethnicity, poverty (she was not as well-to-do as her classmates despite her stipends), learning habits (I think her teachers were super patient) and so on.

The writing is easy to follow. I also appreciated that her fellow coauthor provided a lengthy, more anthropological afterword at the end. Overall, a very enjoyable read about a unique culture and a woman who dares.

[Irene · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fascinating glimpse into an ethnic group of which I had never heard. The author is a member of the Moso, one of China’s many indigenous ethnic groups. She grew up in a remote area of the border between China and Tibet in the 1970s without electricity, running water, formal education or almost any interaction with the larger world. The Moso may be one of the only truly matriarchal societies, one in which women hold more power and authority than men, a society where monogamy and marriage are foreign concepts, where a lack of generosity or being quarrelsome are causes for shame. The memoirist broke with all cultural conventions by running away from home around the age of 16 to pursue vocal training and a career in music. Now living in the U.S., she shared her story with an American anthropologist for this book. Living in another country allows her to identify those aspects of her culture that would be most peculiar for a western reader.

[Sandra The Old Woman in a Van · Rating 4 out of 5]

I took months to read the first 10% of this book and I don’t know why. I read the last 90% this week and the memoir is in the top 10 books I have read in 2019. It is in the top 5 memoirs I have ever read. Why? Namu is one of the most unique women I have ever encountered. She stood out among her people and culture and stands out among women in general. She gives us a remarkable vision of the Moso (Mosuo) ethnic minority from the Luguhu Lake region bordering Yunnan and Sichuan provinces in China. This book kept me Googling for maps, videos and images of the culture it describes. Every bit of it was unique; vastly different than any culture I have read about. Namu, herself is a unique woman - markedly different by her own admission from traditional Moso. Her story is compelling. Many reviewers and some on line references suggest the memoir is vastly exaggerated, but Namu is still living and there is a historical trail that confirms most of her history. Is it embellished? Maybe, but all memoirs have some bias and selective memories. No doubt Namu has a self image that holds herself unique, distinct, special relative to other Moso. But I believe she is. She left this remote region and has had a very successful and exceptional life. That is what makes this memoir - cowritten by an anthropologist and expert in Moso culture, Christine Mathieu- so engrossing. It tells the tale of one bad-ass woman from an entire culture made up of bad-ass women. And it turns our idea of what a family can and should be on end. It suggests, no- it confirms- more than one type of family structure is relevant and enduring. This books makes the reader think about possibilities and challenges preconceptions. It is a reason to read.

P.S. This is the second book I read this year written from the point of view of a Chinese ethnic minority. About 7% of the 1.4 billion Chinese people are non-Han minorities, of which I believe 56 distinct groups are recognized (and interestingly the Moso are not, but instead lumped with the Naxi). https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_... Lisa See’s The Tea Girl of Hummingbird Lane is explores the Akha ethnic minority and is equally interesting. Both the Akha and Moso have remarkably unique (compared to western norms) family structure, culture and views on sexuality. While See’s book is a novel, it is very well researched. Both books cover relationships between mothers and daughters in culturally insightful and thought provoking ways. A third book I read this year, also by Lisa See, The Island of Sea Women, while set in Korea as opposed to China, is another such exploration. Reading all three together or in close proximity enhances the experience of reading one in isolation. The three books together would be a compelling collection to receive for Mother’s Day.

[Josefina Wagner · Rating 3 out of 5]

Değişik bir kültür , şaşırtıcı ve ilginç ve bu üstelik Çin Halk Cumhuriyetinde geçen bir hikaye. Aslında pek bu konuda kimse kafayı yormasa da sanırım dünyanın her yanında tanıdığımızı bildiğimizi sandığımız bir çok ülkede o ülkenin bilinenlerden başka topluluklar olması ve kendilerine özgü karakteristik özellikleri taşıması da ayrı bir gerçek. Fena değildi. Okunması basit sürükleyici.

[Nick · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Moso (also spelled Mosuo) are a small minority who live in southern China near Tibet. They are famous for the unique relationship between the sexes practiced by most groups. Women manage not just the household but the domestic economy (and work) while men are often away trading or herding yaks. The women of a family reside in the same house, each with a separate room where they receive visits from men they are free to choose; relationships are usually transitory, and jealousy is discouraged. However, political and religious power has remained in the hands of men, either the old feudal lords, the Communists who vanquished them, or the gurus and lamas who provide spiritual guidance. The religion itself seems to be indigenous with a Buddhist overlay. This is an autobiography, written with an anthropologist, of the most famous of the Moso, a woman who left her family at fourteen for Shanghai. It contains much of interest and many moving scenes, especially those that show the Communist cadres from the majority Han people trying to change the Moso. The visiting cadres try to convince the Moso to adopt more conventional sexual relationships, including marriage, by carting in a portable projector and showing a movie of people in local dress suffering from syphilis. The widow of the feudal lord, a member of the Han ethnicity herself and remembered as both dignified and compassionate, spends her last years as a brutalized farmworker. A lama--the narrator calls him the "Living Buddha"--is restored to his spiritual status by the Communists but must wear the then-ubiquitous Mao jacket and cap. The description of life with the solitary yak herders or of Moso ceremonies or the disorientation and poverty of a rural child in the megalopolis are effective and touching. But there are hints of the woman who this girl would become, the writer of numerous autobiographies herself, a performer and celebrity, cantankerous and adept of publicity stunts. Even as a girl, she was difficult and even violent, beating a Moso suitor and a roommate in Shanghai, and she was rude to a fellow urban Moso with whom she corresponded on discovering that he was short and not handsome. (He later became a foremost scholar on Moso culture and language). So there are glimpses of the egotistical personality in this account of her youth, and what is left out makes the portrait look self-serving. Still, to my mind, a memorial to and defense of a minority trying to keep its identity in a huge, overpowering nation--one that actually refuses to recognize them as a separate ethnicity, instead grouping the Moso as part of a separate group, the Naxi--is never out of order and as such the book has great value.

[Kristianne]

Perhaps matriarchy is not what we expect, one of Mathieu's professors points out. What we call matriarchal culture is usually more accurately matrilineal culture, which is neither inherently matriarchal nor egalitarian. He thinks the difference lies mainly in that patrilinial societies accept the domination of women by their fathers and husbands and in matrilineal society they are bullied by uncles and brothers.
This problemitizaion of viewing the Moso people's seemingly female-driven culture through a feminist lens was indistinctly referenced in the leadership role the family men and local Lamas played in the funeral of Namu's grandmother. It was more directly addressed in Namu's descriptions of menstruation shame, the isolated experience of childbirth and the Moso's male-dominated public presence, wherein the culture is represented solely by men through trade and travel.
Living so closely to the bridal abduction rituals and other obvious male dominant practices of the Yi culture helps highlight a Moso feminism that allows a woman to control household politics, take and refuse lovers and have uncontested custody of her children. Namu's own sense of agency, which gives her confidence to go out alone into the world, belies a level of egalitarianism, either of the culture at large or of her mother's own particular headstrong leadership. Of course, even her mother's instruction is culturally conditioned as evidenced in her determination for Namu follow her model of women's roles. The younger woman feels trapped by this expected role, elucidated in her mother's declaration: "You're a woman, you belong in the house, to the village. Your power is in the house. Your duty is to keep the house, to be polite to old people and to serve food to the men."
Namu instead pursues her own unorthodox ambition and succeeds at her dream. It seems evident, though not explicitly acknowledged that she would have been unable to follow through with her plan had it not been for her mother having paved the way already.

[Ariel · Rating 4 out of 5]

this was an amazing story. i gave it four stars because i did not find the writing all that great. but the story is incredible and a real inspiration. about a young girl from Moso country, a matrilinial society. the concepts in this woman's culture were so hard for me to imagine actually existing - a culture in which, for instance, young women have sex and babies with various men (of their choosing), and then let them know when they don't feel like seeing them again. a culture where men never live with or marry women, but women create their own households that are passed down from grandmother to mother to daughter(s). i found myself reading this book feeling like i had so much re-learning to do as a woman, and so much i wished for my daughter to experience as a girl that was already getting squashed, even in our "equal" culture here in the U.S. the subtlety of female oppression was very apparent reading this book. a great story, in the end, overall.

[Audrey Chin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Some books just capture you with content. This is how it was when I opened the pages of Leaving Mother Lake.

I read this book just before a trip to Lugu Lake, the Country of Women where Yang Erche Namu grew up. It brought the culture alive for me;)

It has been said that Yang Erche exoticized the lifestyle of the Mosuo. Indeed, it's true, there is much less of the traditional "walking marriage" lifestyle she writes about. Nonetheless, I thought the book provided a very good background to the still very beautiful and remote region we visited.

Even if you're not planning to visit, I'd highly recommend this book. It provides an engaging insight into a way of life and culture many of us cannot imagine.

[Oleksandr Zholud · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is partially autobiography and partially a sociological insight into one of rare matriarchal (actually matrilinear) societies. I read it as a buddy read for December 2021 at Non Fiction Book Club group.

The author, Yang Erche Namu, was born in the 1960s among Moso people. Moso, a small ethnic group, who live in Yunnan and Sichuan Provinces in China, near Tibet. the Chinese government places them as members of the Nakhi (Naxi) minority, even if they are culturally distinct. Unlike most societies, they are matrilinear, i.e. families tend to trace their lineage through the female side of the family and even sometimes they may not know who the father of a child is, for there are no marriages and it is considered perfectly fine if a woman has many lovers. They aren’t matriarchy which ought to prefer female to male, but they have separate trades for each gender, men working outside, guiding caravans, overseeing cattle, becoming lamas, trading (and rearing kids of their family’s women, but not their own), while women work inside, on fields and at home.

It should be noted that both the author and her mother aren’t ‘usual’ Moso – they are a kind of rebel. Her mother run away from her village, following Han Chinese who in the 1950s came to ‘liberate’ from power of landowners and priests, only to find out that there land is already common property and local Buddhist priests are blood relatives of villagers! Her daughter will also leave the village to see the wider world, so, among other things, we are able to read her memoirs.

A lot of people may envy much more egalitarian culture of Moso, wishing to live there, but actually the life there isn’t easy. The most striking example, I guess is the fact that around age of 6-8 years, the author was sent to help her uncle to service yaks’ herds and she was so cold that she went out in the morning as soon as a yak began urinating, I sat on the ground and placed my hands and then my feet under the hot golden stream, paying special attention to the little bumps that looked just like baby mice that the cold had burned into my soles. Because they drink such huge amounts of water, yaks can pee for a very long time. The heat from the urine was heavenly, and so I would go from one yak to another. But then when my feet and legs dried out, they burned horribly and I hopped about on the cold ground, scratching and hollering in agony.

There is a lot of interesting tidbits and the book is written in easy lively style, even if sometimes there are quite grim topics, from crimes of the cultural revolution to hunger, death in the family and the like. Recommended.

In Grandmother’s village, there were no aristocrats or feudal lords to overthrow, and the people already had their fair share of the land, so the revolution was over quickly. But the Communists did not leave immediately. Instead they hung red banners with large Chinese characters that no one could read all over the village. Then they selected the largest courtyard, where they began to hold daily political meetings in order to reeducate the local masses.

The villagers learned about many new things. For example, they learned that Tibet and Moso country had always belonged to China and that the Moso were no longer Moso but members of the newly established Naxi Minority Nationality, one of fifty-five official Chinese nationalities that made up the People’s Republic of China.* “Oh!” the people said. The Naxi are our neighbors in Lijiang, on the western bank of the Yangtze River, and although we do not speak the same language or eat the same food or dress in the same way, the Chinese had always insisted that we were the same people. Except that, up to the revolution, they had also insisted on calling the Naxi by the name Moso.

“The Chinese have always had strange ideas,” the horseman explained.

The villagers nodded their heads slowly.

[Gerti]

Ich hab das Buch abgebrochen. Vielleicht lese ich es später mal.

[Laura Barraclough · Rating 5 out of 5]

A peak into Matrilineal society in rural China. I loved the way all the traditions were described as well as the main characters conflicting feelings of wanting to leave to explore the world or to go back to her family.

[Liralen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Yang Erche Namu grew up in an isolated area of the Himalayas where relationships play out rather differently than most of the world considers to be the norm. For the Moso (also spelled Mosuo), matriarchs rule, and individual couples do not move into houses of their own; instead, male lovers visit their female lovers at night for as long as both are amenable, and all children stay with their mother.

Not a ton has been written about the Moso, and this is the only memoir that I know of by somebody who grew up in the culture. It's an excellent piece (due in no small part, I am sure, to the work of Christine Mathieu) and filled in a lot of holes for me -- I read some about the Moso people in a Women's Studies course a few years ago, and watched a documentary, but I loved having this more personal take. An excellent reminder, at least for me, of how much experiences can vary.

Yang herself seems like...something of a character. Mathieu smooths her out a bit, I think (do some Googling -- maybe after you read the book -- and you'll see what I mean), and has enough understanding of China in general and Moso culture more specifically to be able to weave in a ton of detail. (I definitely recommend the afterword, though.) Yang says something interesting in the 'final word' -- she describes this story of her youth as 'filtered through another's imagination' (289). It's a great way to look at ghostwriting, I think.

Anyway, I found myself somewhat less interested once Yang was away from her family (still interested, mind -- just not as much), which...I think, based on Internet searching, would perhaps not surprise Yang too much. That said, it's a complicated story on many ends...her mother being a rebel in her own way; flawed but very relatable relationships with her family; both clearly loving many parts of her culture but also yearning to find out more about what lay beyond it.

[Tom · Rating 4 out of 5]

I first learned of Chinese pop singer Namu when she was quoted in the New York Times as offering to marry French President Nicolas Sarkozy. So, I Googled her and this book was a prominent mention there, and in a recent New York Times profile.
This is a fascinating look at an old Chinese-Tibetan ethnic group so isolated Namu writes of dirt floors, and the pig living in the courtyard (before he's slaughtered and eaten - every bit). And this was the 1960s.
The Moso is an ethnic group that has a matrilinear culture - men are present (Uncle So and So), but women are the head of the household, own the property, and look to increase the family. It's not matriarchal as opposed to patriarchal, but there are few such ethnic groups in the world (some Native American tribes were matrilinear).
Namu, however, rebeled against this, and ran off to music conservatory school, although she had no money, and was illiterate. She became a popular nightclub singer in the 1980s as the China opened up, and now she's throwing her weight into tourism as a way to being currency to the Lagu Lake area where she was raised.
You have to believe, otherwise a cynic would say how could she remember what she was thinking when she was four years old. And illiterate until her 20s, and to write this? She had help from the Australian academic who has studied the Moso culture, Christine Mathieu.
It's a good read as counterpoint to the American materialistic, educated, decadent society we've know for centuries.

[Dannie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the most interetsing culture I have ever heard about! The Moso are a Chinese minority near the Sichuan / Yunnan provinces border who have a matrilineal society, where property is handed down through female lines. There is no marriage, but men go to visit their lovers at their house and then leave in the morning. If a woman wants to end the relationship, she hangs his pack near the front gate as a message. Children are raised in the mother's house with their uncles as the male presence.
This is a story of a girl who grew up in a remote village but dreamed of exploring the world beyond.
The Chinese don't officially recognize the Moso people, they group them in with the nearby Naxi (aka Nahki), where women do have a strong role in society, but the Naxi have a completely different language, religion, and customs.
On my recent trip to China, we were close to this area, but did not make it to Lake Lugu, where this story takes place. Makes me want to go back. Read this book!

[Cathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, this was fascinating stuff. A teenage girl from China's minority Mosu culture, where women take lovers instead of marrying and everyone lives in extended matrilineal households, leaves for the bright lights of urban China to become a singer in the '80s. It’s refreshing, because she LOVES the outside world – cars! Hot showers! Fashion magazines! But she also has great love and affection for her home, and is able finally to move between them. Usually this kind of narrative ends with the conclusion that modern life sucks, but you can’t go home again. Also, the anthropological detail (her cowriter is an anthropologist who studies the Moso) is FASCINATING.

There's a lengthy afterword by Christine Mathieu, the anthropologist/cowriter, about her work with the Mosu, and her acquaintance with Yang Namu.

[Karen Floyd · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fascinating look at the life of a particular young girl in a unique matrilinear culture, and her relationaship with her mother. The Moso are a matrilinear society, NOT matriarchal, which is a completely different concept. Property and the home pass from mother to daughter, and the sons and daughters remain in the home of their mothers, so, while there are no "fathers," there are brothers cousins and uncles. The elders of the family, of both genders, make the decisions, but the home and all the it encompasses - raising food, for example - is the bailiwick of the mothers. Men do the building and moving in the outside world; they are usually yak herders and traders. They are also the priests and political leaders. There is no such thing as marriage, love being considered ephemeral, and women decide who they will take as lovers and who they will have their children with. The lovers live with their mothers and not together, and usually children do not know who their fathers are.
Namu is not a "typical" Moso woman, and her story is one of struggle to find who she is and how she fits into both her Moso culture and the larger world. She wants to see what is over those mountains, and the next ones, and the next....This brings her into conflict with her mother, who sees her as the next head of the family, and does not want her to leave.
I loved this book, but would warn readers not to get all dewey-eyed and romantic over the Moso culture. It is not an idyllic way of life, it's a very hard and isolated one, but it certainly has lessons for the rest of the world.

[Judy · Rating 3 out of 5]

It took me quite a while to 'get' into this story. Once I realized it was non-fiction I did better. I had it on my Nook and didn't realize it was a memoir of a young Moso woman. Honestly, I had no idea these people existed and was totally unfamiliar with their culture. Namu tells the story of her life in this odd, matriarchial world of the Moso. I found it funny how the Chinese have tried to understand them and have looked for ways to bring them into the Chinese way of living. Her story is a universal story of a daughter trying to win the approval of her mother. I did look Namu up and found out she has the nickname of the meanest woman in China.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was read on my memoir kick this year. I LOVE this story! I LOVE this community - a matrilinear community on the edge of China / Tibet. Men live with their mothers, and the women are the heart of the community. Sisters are indeed doing it for themselves! I can see this little village in my head, I am desperate to go and visit it. The story of the village alone was enough to keep me up at night. However, the "real" story is about the girl who started as a villager and ended as a world famous singer - enchanting.

[Pamela · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting account of a little-known minority of Western China--a matrilineal society that does not believe in marriage and maintains a strong, family-based society instead of a marriage-based one. I enjoyed Namu's journey from remote mountains to Shanghai. I also highly recommend that people read the afterword, as Christine Matheiu explains further how the people of the Moso culture live and work. A good read.

[Hulyacln · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bir biyografiden çok daha fazlası “elveda kızlar ülkesi”.Yang Erche Namu doğduğu topraklardan çok daha uzakta yaşıyor olsa da,köklerini bıraktığı yeri anlatımı-anıları-yaşadığı topraklara özlemi çok gerçek,çok içten..

Çin’in Moso bölgesinde doğan Namu bir gün çok uzaklara gider ama anlatacak şeyleri daha bitmemiştir..

[Brian Griffith · Rating 3 out of 5]

A candid, insider's view of the fascinating woman-centered Moso culture of southwest China. Yang Erche Namu is a strong-willed, ambitious girl who wants to leave her village and make it in the outside universe. Yet her descriptions of Moso traditions, especially of her initiation into womanhood, show a culture of incredible beauty.

[elstaffe · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 rounds up to 4 stars for me. Fascinating but ponderously paced--definitely best consumed a chapter or two at a time.

Pull quotes/notes
"...summoned the Moso feudal lord and his younger brother Losan, our greatest saint and Living Buddha, to Kunming, the capital of Yunnan province. From Kunming, the Living Buddha had been sent to Ninglang, the county administrative capital some days' walk east of Moso country. The Living Buddha needed to learn to work for his keep like everybody else, the Communists had said. As to our feudal lord, he had died on the way to Kunming. Of natural causes, they said." (22) nAtuRaL caUsEs

"Back at the school, I heated the water and prepared the tea, and I cooked the vegetables and the meat dishes. But I did not go up to each classroom to call in the teachers. Instead I stood on the doorstep and hollered in the rough Sichuan dialect, 'Your dinner is ready! If you want to eat, come over and get it! If you're not hungry, I'll give it to the pig!'

Minutes later the teachers traipsed into the kitchen, looking sheepish. I greeted them with a dirty look and a gray face.

'What's wrong with you?' one of them dared ask.

'Full bellies will explode,' I answered him in Moso, and then switched to the Sichuan dialect: 'Do you want more food or have you finished?'" (201-202)


"There is no universal psycho-cultural explanation as to why some cultures stress the feminine rather than the mascu-line, or vice versa, or, indeed, give equal importance to both sides. This is not to say that these ideologies are not without significant consequences. Evidently, cultural systems that stress the masculine at the expense of the feminine tend to give rise to societies where anxious men spend much of their time controlling women." (Reading guide p10)

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A memoir about a woman from the Moso culture of the Himalayas (extremely remote) that has a matriarchal society, eschews marriage, and is freely sexual. Having said that, they live traditional lives in a hardscrabble existence, farming, hunting, gathering, etc., with men and women in still-traditionalist roles. The men still go out hunting and the women stick to home, but the children are communally raised and the mothers and daughters stay in the same house. The men are treated basically like male lions where they don't really have homes per se? I think the brothers can live in a guest room but without marriages, the lovers must be invited into the women's rooms for whatever period of time suits them both before he is sent away and moves on.

Namu (the narrator) is unusual in that with every taste of the outside world, she is itching to get out. Blessed with a beautiful voice, she ends up getting sent around China to singing competitions and eventually, music school. Her first impressions of huge cities like Beijing and Shanghai are very interesting for those of us who are used to cities. She feels dirty looking at all the polished city women, mentioning how they walk on "sticks" (i.e. high heels) and other things that would look totally weird to someone who hadn't seen it before.

Wow - this was such a unique book. It was an introduction to a culture and people I'd never heard of before, who had an unusual way of structuring their family relations, and also with a dose of "fish out of water" in terms of the narrator itching to break free and go live in the cities far from home. What a brave and curious woman.

[Crystal · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was skeptical that this was a memoir because the voice was off and lots of things weren’t explained, like how an illiterate Moso person learned Chinese and then enough English to write this memoir. The ending finally explained that she got help from a writer in San Francisco to write this book.

I wish this memoir had video links to the singing and photographs to include, otherwise this memoir seemed more like fiction.

I never knew about the Moso or Mosuo people so at least I learned about this tribe of people watching YouTube documentary and reading this book

I picked up this book because it was mentioned in another book I was reading, Sex at Dawn, which discussed this tribe of people who engaged in walking marriages and where the women were the head of the household, have different sexual partners, and children are raised by their uncles, not their fathers.

[Sylvia Tedesco · Rating 4 out of 5]

There is no marriage, but men go to visit their lovers at their house and then leave in the morning. If a woman wants to end the relationship, she hangs his pack near the front gate as a message. Children are raised in the mother's house with their uncles as the male presence.
I was a little slow to get into this true story and then I was completely involved and spent the day finishing it. It has the glow of reality to it and you can feel almost how it is to live in a matrilineal family that is functioning well. The Cultural Revolution reached this remote place from time to time, but in the time confines of the book they really couldn't dent the traditions of the Moso people. I would be curious to see how life goes there now.
I just read another review here and found this link to a Time article about Namu in 2003. It was sort of depressing to read.
http://content.time.com/time/magazine...

[Insomniayla · Rating 5 out of 5]

Maravilloso y muy recomendable.
Habla de la historia de una de las primeras moso que salió y creó su futuro fuera de su pueblo.

[André · Rating 4 out of 5]

Review : In de afgelegen bergen op het grensgebied van China en Tibet leven de 'Moso'. De Chinezen noemen het Moso-gebied 'het land van de dochters'. Hier bestaat nog altijd een samenleving waarin de dochters belangrijker dan zonen zijn. De leden van een verwantengroep, zowel mannen als vrouwen, zijn namelijk uitsluitend via de moeder gerelateerd. Mannen en vrouwen gaan geen vaste relaties aan maar blijven bij hun moeder wonen. Vanaf de menstruatieperiode wordt het meisje volwassen en staat het haar vrij om in haar eigen kamer minnaars te ontvangen. Ook al zijn de vrouwen baas in huis, toch blijven de mannen zoals gewoonlijk baas in de samenleving en is er van een matriarchaat natuurlijk geen sprake.

In het boek Het land van de dochters maken we enerzijds kennis met de jeugdjaren van Yang Erche Namu, die in dit gebied opgroeide maar later haar geluk ging zoeken in de Verenigde Staten. Daarnaast krijg je de bevindingen van de Frans-Amerikaanse antropologe Christine Mathieu te lezen. Zij geeft haar wetenschappelijke onderzoeksresultaten over de matrilineaire Moso-bevolking weer. Het geheel is een boek geworden waarin twee vrouwen uit totaal verschillende culturen persoonlijke gevoelens en wetenschap in een perfecte harmonie doen samensmelten.


Het land van de dochters is een buitengewoon boeiend en educatief boek over een ons niet zo bekende cultuur.

[Christel Keijzer · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting glimpse into lives led in Southern China province, of country life on the border of Sichuan and Yunnan, where the Moso and Naxi people live. Through the eyes of a young woman who fled her life to become a renown singer.

[Jennifer Page · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book goes on my short list of "Non-fiction I have loved." (I actually didn't realize it was a memoir when I picked it up -- if I had I might not have read it!) I found it on a list of 50 books by women of color (https://bitchmedia.org/art…/i-read-50...). I LOVED this book. It's about a woman born into the Moso peoples -- I'm not good at geography but I place them somewhere in between Tibet and China. One of the remarkable things about the Moso is that marriage is not part of their culture. Women take many lovers, and have children with many men. People stay in their mother's house all their lives. A man might visit his biological children, but returns to his mother's house. So men participate in raising their sisters' children, but not their biological children. Fascinating. Women run the household and family lineage passes from mothers to daughters. And this is a real place not fiction! And yet as cool as this sounds, the main "character" leaves her home to venture out into the world. It's beautifully written and a fascinating story on many levels. Highly recommend!