Narcissistic Mothers: How to Handle a Narcissistic Parent and Recover from CPTSD

by Caroline Foster

If you are an adult child of a narcissistic mother, this book is for you, and if you are not sure whether your abusive mother is a pathological narcissist, you will find out.

If you read this book:

You will become aware of all the reasons why your childhood was so traumatic. You will learn how to deal with your narcissistic mother without being her victim any longer. You will find out all dysfunctional beliefs and habits that you developed during your childhood.
You will learn how to contrast Complex Traumatic Stress Disorder symptoms. 

The issue of toxic mothers challenges the status quo in so many ways but does need to be addressed. Adult children of narcissistic parents are often plagued with so much guilt and sense of deep obligation and shame that they feel duty-bound to keep whatever happened in the family secret, even when it is shredding their lives. It’s really difficult to share your experience because narcissists, and especially a narcissistic mother, can be very good at creating the perfect image of the family for outsiders.

The solution is not forgiving or forgetting, but understanding and working on your self-development, and finally taking back control of your life.

Book Contents

RECOGNIZING THE PROBLEM
What is Pathological Narcissism
Inside the Mind of a Narcissist
Types of Narcissism
Overt Grandiose Narcissism
Covert Narcissism
Narcissistic Strategies of Manipulation
How the narcissist controls you
Pathological Narcissists as Parents
Signs of Narcissistic Parenting
THE NARCISSISTIC MOTHER
Enablers (enabler father)
The Narcissistic Mother and The Roles She Chooses for Her Children
Types of Narcissistic Mothers
Narcissistic Mothers and Their Sons
Narcissistic Mothers and their Daughters
Effects of narcissistic abuse on Adult Children
SOLUTIONS
Protect Yourself from Narcissistic Mother
How to Handle a Narcissistic Mother If You Live with Her
No Contact with Narcissistic Mother
Taking Back Your Power
Move Out from Toxic Environment: Practical Tips
Caring for Aging Narcissistic Mother
HEALING
Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD)
Emotional flashbacks
Toxic Shame
Self-abandonment
Inner critic
Social anxiety
Self-healing Tips

Even if you were born in the wrong place, growing up dealing with an abusive mother, you can leave the past behind and build a better future by taking control of your life. This book is a painful path of awareness, but it is also the first step of a journey toward a better life.

So, let’s start clicking the "Buy with 1-Click” Button NOW!

Genres: Self Help, Psychology, Nonfiction, Mental Health, Family, Mental Illness, Health

173 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 9, 2019

About the author

I write books for people who are dealing with narcissists in various situations. I don’t write to display my knowledge or to brag about my credentials.
My books are simple and do not contain bibliographic references because victims of narcissistic abuse are not interested in academic works. They simply recognize the truth in what they read because they have experienced the topics of my books throughout their lives.

Dear survivor of narcissistic abuse, I genuinely care about you, and while healing isn't as simple as reading a book, I hope that my work will make a positive difference in your life. This is my ambition, and I wish you all the best.

Caroline Foster

Reviews

[María · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tengo que reconocer que este libro me ha sorprendido (aunque necesita una revisión y la traducción es algo regular). Estoy un poco saturada de leer sobre este tema y tenía miedo de lo que podía encontrarme. No obstante, es un libro cortito, sencillo y claro, sin historias personales, cartas o relleno innecesario. Además no pretende suplir en ningún momento a profesionales de salud, al contrario, anima a acceder a terapia (si se tiene ese privilegio, claro). Es como un primer paso, un acercamiento a un problema. Me gusta ese enfoque.

[Katie Thompson Branson · Rating 3 out of 5]

My husband bought this book, I would personally never have chosen this actual text because it is self-published on a popular therapy topic without footnotes or references. For this evidence-based therapy trained psychotherapist this is a “no-no.” As a clinician this book is redundant and frustrating, however I find a ton of use for this book for kids (reading level 6th grade and up) who are currently healing from a relationship with a narcissist mother. Whether the kids are currently dealing with the NPD mom, she was recently diagnosed or they are no longer in contact, this book is an easy read and it’s redundancies are helpful to help kids with loyalty binds make sense of the abuse they have endured.

So clinician rating? **
Kid rating? ****

[Shannon Martin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was mind blowing! It made so much of my childhood makes sense. I totally recommend it for any children who were abused or neglected by their parents. It may just be the key to help you understand what really happened and how it has really affected you. I ended up buying five or six copies for friends and family members and could not be more thrilled with their responses too.

[Phoenix Perpetuale · Rating 5 out of 5]

Narcissistic Mother's: How to Handle a Narcissistic Parent and Recover from CPTSD, narrated by Trei Taylor, is a book that I liked so much. I've listened to it on Audible, which was convenient while doing different activities.
The tone of the book is very modifying. The is hope for the people who have suffered from Narcissistic Parents and small steps of understanding what is going on in their life, and most of all, it is not children's fault. Finally, learn how to protect ourselves.

[Heather Dean · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting. Addressed a lot of issues that are similar to adult children of alcoholics and other childhood traumas. Learned a few technical terms and revalidated what many years of therapy teaches already. It’s an excellent introduction to understanding to what you experienced and why, however, be cautious, if you are just starting out on the journey, it should be paired with an excellent, experienced therapist as you work through your discoveries.

[Thomas Carter · Rating 5 out of 5]

What I read of the.book i loved!


I'm Tom's wife. Currently in working again on some healing. After realizing that my now deceased mom had created yet another wound in my heart. About 8or so years ago, I had gotten help and healing from many other past issues regarding my mom. Knowing how she was a Narcissists helps, because now I can both label it and understand WHy she was the way she was. Unfortunately my mom never got any help for anything. She was a very wounded and beautiful soul. I was taught in class that "Hurting people hurt people" that statement really stuck with me. About 4 years or so before losing my mom completely to death. Our family had really lost her to both drugs and alochol abuse. She was 57 when she passed. For anyone else who's mother was a Narcissist. Please know the guilt you maybe feeling inside from Not doing what they want you too. Is called false guilt. You are allowed to be your own person ok. It's ok to love you!

[nathan · Rating 1 out of 5]

don’t waste your time

[Rachel Brewer · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was very interesting. For me, so many things from my childhood that never made sense and that confused me now all of a sudden make perfect sense. This book was eye opening.

[Jess Thorn · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book may have just single handedly changed my life . it is all starting to make sense to me now.

[Érica · Rating 5 out of 5]

No es lo primero que he leído sobre el tema, pero sí que es de lo mejorcito que me he cruzado.

Provengo de una familia disfuncional con una madre narcisista y un padre mayormente ausente. La violencia fue moneda corriente desde mi infancia hasta que me fui de la casa de mi madre a los 20 años. Siempre he sabido que la situación en que vivía era tóxica, pero no pude comprender en profundidad cuánto o hasta qué punto me afectaba sino hasta que me fui. Hoy llevo ya 5 años de independencia en los cuales hice mi luto, sufrí, reflexioné y, creo, pude sanar.

Madres Narcisistas me caló particularmente porque pareció haber sido escrita para mí, como si mi madre hubiera sido el objeto de estudio para componer la obra. Algo que me pasó con unos artículos o libros sobre familias disfuncionales que he leído en los últimos años es que abarcaban tantas posibilidades que en ocasiones terminaba leyendo capítulos enteros que no resonaban para nada conmigo antes de volver a lo que sí me era familiar. Aquí no me ocurrió. Párrafo tras párrafo me quedé sin aliento por la certeza con la cual se describía a mi madre, a mi padre, a mi hermana, a mi familia en su conjunto, y a mí misma. Demoré bastante en terminarlo porque de a ratos me traía recuerdos enterrados y cuasi olvidados y terminaba por volverse abrumador.

No puedo ser objetiva con esta lectura porque todo lo leído resonó conmigo. En tan pocas páginas Caroline Foster me ayudó a comprender la psiquis de mi madre (que, en sus propias palabras, no significa justificar ni perdonar sus acciones) y, gracias a ello, mejorar un poco nuestro vínculo y controlar las situaciones y mis reacciones en lugar de dejarme llevar por sus provocaciones.

Pienso que las personas que sospechan que tienen una madre narcisista necesitan leer este libro. Se explican todos los comportamientos y sus posibles variantes en pocas palabras y con un vocabulario fácil de seguir, sin demasiados tecnicismos ni terminología de campo. Asimismo, permite dar una perspectiva humana de los narcisistas sin justificarlos ni hacer sentir al lector-barra-víctima que está obligado a perdonar en el nombre de la salud mental. Además de dar información precisa con ejemplos y sencilla de entender, se destaca por su empatía y la validación a los sentimientos de hijos e hijas de narcisistas.

[Roger · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you want a brief introduction into narcissistic mothers with some tips on how to recover from their negative effects then this book is for you. When I say brief I really mean it. Is that a bad thing? No, definitely not. It is far from an in-depth account on the role narcissistic mothers have in the trauma of children and their arrested development. The tips given will play a role in your recovery but I still believe that one should have a solid understanding on how trauma affects the body and brain particularly in children. The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel van der Kolk would be a good book for this. Recovery from CPTSD is a little more than just journaling and positive thinking (although good techniques in recovery) which seems to be a central theme of the tips provided in this book. In saying this, Caroline really does pack the pages with just enough information to begin your recovery from the negative effects of narcissistic mothers. And this information is important for everyone including those who have not been affected by narcissistic mothers.

Because of the brief nature of this book, it would be excellent for when you need a reminder on certain topics, for example the three roles assigned to children by a narcissistic mother. Each section is neatly laid out which allows for quick access to the particularly bits of information one requires in that moment. Although the way the book is written is very simplified and at times is repetitive and lacks good vocabulary, it really doesn't take away from the message being delivered and that is important. The way Caroline has written this works and she does mention how the book is written right at the beginning. It was meant to be this way. It is very easy to read and this supports the notion that the book is meant to be picked up quickly when you need reminding about something on narcissist mothers.

[Tiffany · Rating 1 out of 5]

The narration for this title is absolutely terrible. The narrator sounds like a bad text-to-speech program -- think Dragon Naturally Speaking in 2003 or so. There's no inflection or there's too much inflection; her tone is mechanical or saccharine, and the pauses? Good grief. She pauses every 10 seconds in all the wrong places. It throws everything off. You will be relieved when she stops speaking. This is useful information to have (insofar as I think one can actually "heal" from CPTSD; I have major doubts on that score), but take my advice and find a better place to get it. Maybe from the print book.

[Pablo Bueno]

Es una buena primera aproximación a este tema. Un pequeño vistazo a otro de esos tabúes que parece que todavía perduran en nuestro tiempo. Es uno de esos libros que, posiblemente, puedan aportar claridad a quien lo necesita (aunque todavía no lo sepa)

Por otra parte, la traducción y la (nula) corrección del texto son para devolverlo directamente.

[Carol Ann · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is an easy read and offers an organized approach to dealing with a narcissistic parent. Well written and digestible material.

[Kelsea Swafford · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very eye opening and helpful. I highly recommend.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

i was very hesitant to read this book, as i'm not huge on self help books in general - let alone self diagnosis books, but i'm genuinely glad i was recommended this and gave it a try. i've never had my childhood (or rather, my mother) summed up so directly and bluntly in text. while i've certainly considered my mother to be a narcissist, this book empowered me to do further research and encouraged a different path in my own self discovery and self improvement. the writing is easy to understand and empathetic, you can tell the author speaks from a place of experience and history. the only portion of the text that did not sit well with me was how black-and-white the 'enabling father' chapter was.

this, once again, could be taken from caroline's own background and it's possible that she's projecting her residual hurt and distaste onto the pages, however the rest of the book was about options. allowing all readers to find a 'version' of themselves, or a 'victim/mold' they could relate to. to state that every father in the parent dynamic is an enabler who "allowed their child to be abused" is a very harmful way of thinking. i can speak on a personal level that without my father, i would not have survived or became who i am today, and while there is always room for improvement, i could never see him as someone who backed down and allowed abuse. if anything, he was both a protector role and her victim. then again - it is possible those of us with narcissistic mothers each have very different relationships to their one, remaining parent and i am projecting as well.

even if you don't have a narcissistic parent yourself, if you're trying to support someone who does - this is, without a doubt, worth the read.

[Abbey · Rating 3 out of 5]

I started this book being absolutely blown away. I was up every night reading it just feeling so seen and understood by this author. It was such an aid in me recognizing deeper patterns in myself and even more toxic behavior than I could see before in my mother. I gained a lot of courage and strength through reading, to be able to set more boundaries and even go fully no contact a few weeks ago with my mother. This book is filled with wonderful information for the first section or two, but the last roughly 35% of the book is a real hit or miss. I didn’t realize before reading that the author is a life coach rather than a trained professional therapist, and the advice given further into the book should be taken with a grain of salt. There is a good bit of emphasis on being fully healed™️, and the advice is written almost fully in bullet point style. I was really turned off by the formatting change, and how easy she made it seem to recover from such a difficult mental health disorder as CPTSD is.
So overall, I love the amount of information and awareness this author brings to narcissism, yet I believe the advice they give in the second half lacks the nuance and professionalism needed for the topic

[Andrea Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another extremely validating book that goes through a day in your life with you so accurately that it gives you whip lash. I enjoyed the chapter that provided solutions and tips on how to reframe your inner dialogue. This was a super short read, only a 3.5 hour audiobook. I would recommend this to anyone that needs something to tell them it’s not their fault and remind you that you’re only a victim in your game of life.

[BerItsCold · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is written in a way that feels like you’re talking to someone who just “gets it”, but it is obvious that said person is also a professional in dealing with these things. Not only does it give a lot of background on the disorder itself, but it has some good journal prompts, actionable steps to take on your own, guidelines on the types of therapists/y to seek, ways to handle your abuser in social situations and good cues to be on the lookout for in yourself and your narcissistic abuser.

I have found that most books will typically only act as a “test” to discover if NPD is what someone has, so I enjoyed this book as a resource. It’ll be handy to keep on the shelf to reference.

[Lavinia · Rating 3 out of 5]

2,5/5 ⭐️

La versión en español necesita una revisión. ✍🏼
Como primer acercamiento a este tema puede ser buena opción, especialmente para jóvenes y adolescentes.

[Amanda Hardeman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly Recommend

This was an incredibly enlightening book. If you are the child of a narcissist you will find this book very validating.

[Mendharawa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Validating.

[Serena · Rating 4 out of 5]

This will definitely put things in perspective. You're going to learn a lot about how to deal and recognize and start to recover!

[Nicole Groshek · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is self published and it shows, but boy am I thankful for it. It made me feel like I was reading the story of my life, and I don’t think I’ve ever felt so understood.

[Grace]

oof 👀

[Mr Bramley · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm giving a short review to help anyone who is thinking of buying this book with their interaction with it.
I have mixed feelings of this book;
It was helpful in ways:
> identifying and considering behaviors
> validating experiences
> giving ideas for selfcare and positive habits.
> It was written by an adult survivor who speaks from her own experiences and research, which is always validating to read.
> It was written in a simple way that young people, or those who know very little about psychology could easily access.
However, I imagine there will be better books out there to get the same things from.
It was disjointed and poorly edited (it is self published, and the author mentions in the foreword that they do not consider themselves 'a writer'), which at times was a little off-putting. The author is not a specialist in mental health of any kind, and provides no references (a point they also do acknowledge from the beginning). It borders on ableism in the way that the author talks about narcissism itself, and there are a few lines around how 'frustrating' it can be if the mother has any kind of disability...
Finally, it is very heavily based on the idea of a typical, heteronormative mother and father family unit with extended family interactions, which just didn't connect to my life very well; it was a little disappointing.

Overall it was helpful to read, but I would say about the same level as reading a blog or forum post from people who have lived experience. It was the validation, simplicity, and 'community' feel of it that I found beneficial.

[Amanda Blood-Harris · Rating 5 out of 5]

Detailed materials and Easily Understandable

My therapist recommended this book to me, I had tried reading the body, keeps the score but it's so technical. It was really hard to be able to really understand a lot of the material that was being presented. Plus the topic was such a broad PTSD/CPTSD, that it wasn't really centered on what I wanted it to be. This book is so much easier to understand, all of the examples and situations provided are easily relatable. This help it explain things about myself and my life that I didn't know I needed explained to me. The material is absolutely amazing and so well backed with so much information. 10/10 read, highly recommend for your healing journey

[Jessie Black · Rating 5 out of 5]

My therapist recommended me this book I thought it was really helpful for someone on their healing journey of dealing with a narcissistic mother. I do agree with some of the reviews that said this book could be really repetitive at times but I found the repetitiveness helpful to really emphasize some of the points about dealing with your narcissistic mother. Just like any self help or self healing book, you take the things you need/like from it and leave the rest, the entire book may not 100% apply to your life. I’d recommend (if you have the ability to) see a therapist alongside reading this because it can bring up a lot and they’re a great resource to unpack things with.

[Sarah Stein · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have to say that this book has been very informative. I’ve realized just recently that I’ve encountered family members who have NPD traits and I needed to know more to combat them. I’ve learned so much more than just NPD. I learned that I actually fit into the empathetic traits and the loner category. It’s been rough for me and my family but this book has helped me to see things much more clearer than before.

[Bee]

Some good stuff

Good advice. See within yourself behaviors, thoughts, emotions, and thinking patterns that stem from dealing with daily physiological, emotional, verbal and sometimes physical abuse. Learn the first steps to begin the healing process to recover from a lifetime of abuse.