What Stories Does My Son Need? A Guide to Books and Movies that Build Character in Boys

by Michael Gurian

In an annotated list including movies such as High Noon and Glory , and books such as The Giving Tree and To Kill a Mockingbird , therapist and educator Gurian highlights the particular ethical lessons two hundred great stories can impart to boys and young men.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Reference

142 pages, Paperback

First published June 1, 2000

About the author

Michael Gurian is an American author and social philosopher. He works as a marriage and family counselor and corporate consultant. He has published twenty-eight books, several of which were New York Times bestseller list bestsellers. He is considered, along with Leonard Sax, as one of the major proponents of the post-modern "single-sex academic classes" movement.
Gurian taught at Gonzaga University, Eastern Washington University, and Ankara University. His work tends to focus on sex differences and how they contribute to learning.
He is also a co-founder of the Gurian Institute, which trains professionals who deal with the developmental aspects of childhood. The Gurian Institute has trained more than 60,000 teachers from over 2,000 different schools. Some of these schools become "GI Model Schools" and aim to leverage the role gender plays in learning styles.

Reviews

[Christina · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is on of the best reference books for boys, and we use this one primarily for movie selections. There are a lot of movies I would have overlooked if I had not seen them in this book. As with any "suggestion" book, it may not line up exactly to your tastes and values. But overall, this is a great book to have on hand if you have boys.

[Tiffany · Rating 2 out of 5]

The vast majority of the movies suggested for boys as young as elementary contain sexual content (according to imbd). Those are definitely not the movies my son needs.

[Cindy · Rating 4 out of 5]

So I like lists and this one was fun to look at. The book/explanation part takes about 15 minutes to read and the rest of the book is the list of 100 books, a synopsis and about 3 questions to ask and review with your kids. It starts with pre elementary age boys and progresses to young elementary, older elementary, middle school, and high school.

He does recommend many movies that are 'R' rated, so be aware of that. Gary and I found it interesting though to see what lessons could/should be learned from book and movies. Michael Gurians belief is that we no longer sit around the campfire and share stories (Greek, warrior, fairytale or otherwise) to our boys. And the moral character in our societ reflects it. Gary and I watch 'White Squall' and took a look at the questions in the book. It was helpful to take the story from what it was to the lessons it taught about responsibility. I am going to look for this book and try to add it to my personal shelves.

[Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

I bought this book to find some good wholesome movies and books for my young boys ages 4-9 to watch and read this summer. I liked the concept of stories that build character and teach important lessons. I have heard Michael Gurian speak and read another book of his, and I like him. He seems solid and is a devout catholic. There were a few movie suggestions that are rated R, which I personally avoid and would avoid for my children. But there were some great suggestions that I had forgotten about, such as “October Sky”, and “Swiss Family Robinson”. I’ll hold onto it and refer back to it once in a while. It’s a pretty good resource.

[Joe Moss · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short of publishing a second edition, it would be great if Gurian could put an addendum on his website of new materials he would include in this book. For instance, I would add Marvel's Black Panther to the movie section for high school (maybe middle school). There are also some really good books for boys that have been published since this came out, such as All-American Boys (high school) and Touching Spirit Bear (middle school or upper elementary).

[Danette · Rating 2 out of 5]

This one was just ok. I was expecting more of a gospel-centered focus and it was really more from a psychology perspective.

We should be careful about the media input our boys receive. Provide them with good books (and movies) with real heroes who exemplify godly character.

2021 A book with 2 or more authors

[Erika Cook · Rating 3 out of 5]

Just briefly browsed to look at some ideas for my boys.

[Beth · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was too preachy, and I didn't agree with the age suggestions.

[Victoria · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good reference book to pick movies and books for boys, divided by age groups. I like the questions to discuss after each story. Full of older movies I might have never remembered.

[Marie Penney · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some good points. Really didn't like the movie rec's in this book.

[ry]

Wild Things author rec - movies

[Hannah Puhse · Rating 4 out of 5]

id like to see an updated list of these movies and books. the movie recommendations go as far as movies from the 1900s to 1999.

[Jacqui Wakelam · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quite helpful moreso with the film recommendations, there were a few in there I hadn't heard of. Other reference books for reading recommendations, poetry etc are much better such as Read for the Heart by Sarah Clarkson or Honey For a Child's (also Teens) Heart. But I did find it useful.

[Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

I checked this book out of our local library, and found it to be a very valuable resource, as a mother of 2 boys. In it, the author explains his impetus in writing the book. He and his wife were in line to see Saving Private Ryan, and noticed another couple in line, with their 4-year old son. Being a family therapist and educator, he felt like saying something, but was restrained by his wife (can't really blame her- not many people would take his advice in that circumstance). The straw that broke the camels back was the next line over, again with a family and a youngster, waiting to see Blade. He felt that it was time to assemble a usable list of books and movies, not only appropriate for children, but also ones that will build character in young boys, and help to turn them into responsible and caring men.

This book lists 100 books, and 100 movies that are recommended across 5 age ranges, Preschool/Kindergarten, Lower Elementary Grades 1-3, Upper Elementary Grades 4-6, Middle School and High School. I found it to be a very valuable resource, that is helping me to choose stories and books that are interesting to my son, yet appropriate for his age. I would highly recommend this to any parent out there, looking for some guidance into a good influence on their children.

[Libbydale · Rating 4 out of 5]

Since listening to the Wonder of Boys, I want to inhale more of Michael Gurian's writing and I spotted this at the library. It's a good reference. Star Wars isn't on the list, and because my child is so into that right now I wonder where that falls into building character into my son? Some of these stories we've already read, but some I won't probably allow. Important to remember is that is is just a guide, but I also like how it gave me ideas for discussing movies and stories with my child, something I can do no matter the movie, as he does like movies very much. I'm disappointed that my library doesn't have any more of his books.

[Adam · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lot of the lower ratings dismiss the book for recommending "gasp" R-rated movies for teenagers. If you don't think it would be good for your son at age 16 to see a movie like Schindler's list or Saving Private Ryan, then I can't help you. This book is great. I like the focus on being willing to talk to your child about the lessons taken from all the media they consume whether it's on this list or not. It helped in pointing out books and movies I could steer my sons toward at different ages, but I mostly appreciated the insight on using every available opportunity to use the inherent lessons in stories to teach your children.

[Lynde · Rating 3 out of 5]

this one i also thought looked sort of stupid, but easy to get the point of the author who i think has pretty good insight on boys. anyway, it makes suggestions on discussing current movies/books that you may share with your boys. the questions that he suggests to pose to children have to do with increasing empathy, awareness, and comprehension for different age levels. the questions that he asked i think are pretty enlightening, and certainly bring forth a frame work for me to continue for discussing different media-driven works with the kids. simple, but interesting.

[Liz · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting concept - the idea that there are certain stories that are better for boys because they show an old idea (growing to be a man, etc.) I found his age recommendations to be a bit off, though, my kids are probably a little more sheltered than most. This is definitely written for a more mainstream (i.e. the kids who watch cartoons on TV kind of audience), though I liked his recommendation of Lassie. :) I only glanced at the preschool - early elementary section since that is where we are at with our kids. I got some great ideas.

[Stacey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I always have difficulty finding books and movies for my boys. This book gives recommendations for books and movies (by age group) that build character in boys. Would I necessarily agree with all the recommendations? Perhaps not, but the author acknowledges outright that everyone has differences of opinion and he provides his rationale for why he feels a book or movie is appropriate. I have made myself a list and hope to get some of these books and movies for the boys over the summer.

[Kirstie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great ideas for conversation starters and movies to get for our boys. There are several we have watched already and I agree with what the author had to say. I like his conservative ranking of age-appropriate movies.

[Christina · Rating 2 out of 5]

I liked the list and have read a lot of the stories. Some movies are rated R, some stories I thought were recommended for ages a little too young, but I appreciated the idea. By the way, I didn't read the whole thing. Mostly skimmed.

[Bree · Rating 3 out of 5]

Notes:
*movies recommendations are mostly rated R for high school(age 14-18) and pg13 for middle school (age 11-13) -- way too many war-themed ones
*book recommendations had several worth looking into

[Crystal · Rating 4 out of 5]

great resource

[Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good list. Some I thought had bad language and a little violent but all good messages.

[Lu]

List of books/stories/movies for boys

[Donna · Rating 4 out of 5]

to check in when a little older and for books

[Lupe · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have similar lists on the web but this book also includes discussion questions. Great for parents, grandparents, or teachers.

[Brynn Mccarthy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Recommended for ANYONE with a son. Loved this guide for books and movies and conversation starters about them.

[Tim Pollock · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fantastic resource. Recommended to all dads.

[Tim · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fantastic resource. Recommended to all dads.