What do you think?
Rate this book
Long Way Home
It was love at first sight.
They were soulmates.
It was forever.
But they were only sixteen.
Too innocent. Too naïve.
Too ignorant about the world around them.
Besides, nothing lasts forever.
With their fairy-tale future torn to shreds, both boys need to learn to find their own way in an unforgiving world.
Gavin Buchanan is thrown into a life he didn’t want, molded to do a job he always feared. He must learn to get by, but with only his brothers in arms to lean on and secrets so deep they eat at his core every day, he struggles. How long until life in the Marine Corps turns this gentle, tender-hearted man into someone no one recognizes?
Owen Wallace is adrift and going through the motions. Every time he tries to stand tall and put the past behind him, life kicks him down. There is only so much a person can take before they turn bitter and jaded. It wasn’t supposed to be this way.
Their souls are bound to each other.
Nothing will keep them apart.
It will take time, but they just need to find their way home.
**Triggers for PTSD**
They were soulmates.
It was forever.
But they were only sixteen.
Too innocent. Too naïve.
Too ignorant about the world around them.
Besides, nothing lasts forever.
With their fairy-tale future torn to shreds, both boys need to learn to find their own way in an unforgiving world.
Gavin Buchanan is thrown into a life he didn’t want, molded to do a job he always feared. He must learn to get by, but with only his brothers in arms to lean on and secrets so deep they eat at his core every day, he struggles. How long until life in the Marine Corps turns this gentle, tender-hearted man into someone no one recognizes?
Owen Wallace is adrift and going through the motions. Every time he tries to stand tall and put the past behind him, life kicks him down. There is only so much a person can take before they turn bitter and jaded. It wasn’t supposed to be this way.
Their souls are bound to each other.
Nothing will keep them apart.
It will take time, but they just need to find their way home.
**Triggers for PTSD**
310 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 14, 2019
147 people are currently reading
1246 people want to read
About the author
Nicky James
76 books2,263 followersI live in the small town of Petrolia, Ontario, Canada and I am a mother to a wonderful teenage boy (didn't think those words could be typed together...surprise) and wife to a truly supportive and understanding husband, who thankfully doesn't think I'm crazy.
I have always had two profound dreams in life. To fall back hundreds of years in time and live in a simpler world, not bogged down by technology and to write novels. Since only one of these was a possibility I decided to make the other come alive on paper.
I write mm romance novels that take place in fantastical medieval type settings and love to use the challenges of the times to give my stories and characters life.
I have always had two profound dreams in life. To fall back hundreds of years in time and live in a simpler world, not bogged down by technology and to write novels. Since only one of these was a possibility I decided to make the other come alive on paper.
I write mm romance novels that take place in fantastical medieval type settings and love to use the challenges of the times to give my stories and characters life.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 275 reviews
![Profile Image for len ❀[ia bc of school].](/_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.gr-assets.com%2Fimages%2FS%2Fcompressed.photo.goodreads.com%2Fusers%2F1753226014i%2F51318038._UX200_CR0%2C0%2C200%2C200_.jpg&w=128&q=75)
June 13, 2024
128 highlights and a bucket of tears later, I’m finished.
It feels so nice to read a romance book again.
“I’d marry you tomorrow. There is no question, Gavin. There never has been. It’s been you and only you who’s ever had my heart.”
“Someday, when it’s legal here in Illinois, we’ll do it. It’s coming. I know it. Times are changing.”
If there’s ever an author who I trust to help me with any slump, it’s Nicky James. Whether it be for her angst or her natural progression of her characters feelings for each other, I’ve never been reluctant and doubtful of her writing skills. Maybe it’s because the development of her characters and the relationship always feels natural and never forced; the angst presented feels accurate for what the book is offering. Long Way Home wasn’t any different. It was real, raw, and gritty; it was an angsty offering for feelings of doubt, poor choices, frustration, and love. I cried, I grew annoyed, I became frustrated with the characters, I yearned, I hoped.
Some may not like this story, and I’d understand why. Maybe it’s because of the long separation between our two leads; maybe it’s because we see and are aware of others the two men hook up with; maybe it’s because everything could’ve been avoided had they made different choices. And while I understand every reasoning there could possibly for not enjoying this story, I still found it to be emotional and heartbreaking. I first read 70 some pages in one sitting at 1 AM, and this isn’t anything challenging for many. It used to not be for me. But considering my romance slump and how I don’t stay up late anymore, I consider that a huge win. And then the next day I wanted to do nothing else but read and find out how Gavin and Owen would make it together.
We moved and rocked together, building the fire between us until we couldn’t hold on anymore.
The angst never feels forced, allowing a balanced timeline to be made to show the process of hurt the characters go through. I’ve always loved how this author tells and shows her angst, encompassing enough elements to make it stand out and feel unique. While different choices could’ve been made to avoid all the drama, this story wouldn’t have existed and wouldn’t have a point to it had characters made smart decisions. Cause when do smart decisions lead to these consequences and outcomes? The characters have their unique distinctions that make them stand out compared to others. Both men deal with their own turmoils in different ways.
Military romances, or any romance that has the military in it, aren’t my favorite in any way, but I didn’t mind spending a long time with Gavin in the Marines. The plot of Gavin’s military life and Owen’s life going from school to work and his general life are fulfilled with enough sympathy for the readers to feel and express on their own. We follow Gavin in the Marines for most of the book, following along with journey of a broken boy with his dreams shattered into a man with a broken spirit unsure where to turn to. And we follow Owen with his yearning for the boy that he has never stopped loving as he dedicated enough time to his studies and work. Throughout the story, we follow these men along in their lives as they go on with it, whether by force or need, and it isn’t always mundane stuff. Every action and decision is made for the futures sake of adding drama yet I never once found myself thinking and wishing the characters acted differently. It’s one of those stories that showed me everything was made and done for a reason. For me to feel this way about a story isn’t common. Too often I feel like characters could’ve made different choices and I wished they acted differently to avoid drama, yet with Owen and Gavin I was glad for it all. It allowed me to experience their lives as it is, with enough integrity to make it visually appealing and realistic.
Owen was what made it home. Home was a person for me, not a place.
The yearning and angst are heartfelt. Owen and Gavin have felt a connection since they were two naive sixteen year olds with hopes and dreams and aspirations, never once thinking their lives would be changed for the worst at the ages of seventeen and eighteen. Through every segment and paragraph, we get enough feeling to experience what the characters are going through. All expressions are heartfelt, the yearning incredibly heartfelt. Both men’s connection is full of integrity. Although we see them with other characters, the connection between the two is always palpable.
The childhood friendship that develops into a secret relationship is nothing but adorable. Young love and teenage angst, Owen and Gavin’s friendship turned into a relationship in high school was a great addition to their future. We see them through their awkward moments and phases of teen love full of tentative touches, quick glances and rushed, secret kisses. The golden football star and the hopeful journalist made an amazing pair. Another reminder as to why childhood friends to lovers is my favorite trope.
Really, I think one of my only issue was how I had hoped and wished that Owen never hooked up with Matthew. It took away some of the fight he had in himself and I thought it made everything less complex. I wishes for Owen to fight with his own emotions and not let himself give in to Matthew. This is a personal quibble because I hated Matthew. Other than that though, this was quite the perfect read for me. It was heartfelt, emotional in every way for me and a true depiction of true love. Gavin and Owen have my heart, and I definitely will not be forgetting them any time soon. I also wish we got more information on Gavin’s PTSD. Because it’s an integral part of his life, Gavin’s PTSD and inability to show a control over it, I thought he needed help from a professional to get a better handle on it. Maybe he does, but I do wish we had been told this happens to know he’s getting the necessary help he needs and is on his way to helping himself, not just for his own but for Owen too. With his nightmares and flashbacks to the military, it’s clear that Gavin needs the help, and it makes sense considering everything. It’s just something we aren’t made aware of.
Thank you again, Nicky James, for allowing me to experience my love for this genre again through your words, through your characters, through your creativity of two men who had their lives shattered for the worst but where they were able to come back together.
It feels so nice to read a romance book again.
“I’d marry you tomorrow. There is no question, Gavin. There never has been. It’s been you and only you who’s ever had my heart.”
“Someday, when it’s legal here in Illinois, we’ll do it. It’s coming. I know it. Times are changing.”
If there’s ever an author who I trust to help me with any slump, it’s Nicky James. Whether it be for her angst or her natural progression of her characters feelings for each other, I’ve never been reluctant and doubtful of her writing skills. Maybe it’s because the development of her characters and the relationship always feels natural and never forced; the angst presented feels accurate for what the book is offering. Long Way Home wasn’t any different. It was real, raw, and gritty; it was an angsty offering for feelings of doubt, poor choices, frustration, and love. I cried, I grew annoyed, I became frustrated with the characters, I yearned, I hoped.
Some may not like this story, and I’d understand why. Maybe it’s because of the long separation between our two leads; maybe it’s because we see and are aware of others the two men hook up with; maybe it’s because everything could’ve been avoided had they made different choices. And while I understand every reasoning there could possibly for not enjoying this story, I still found it to be emotional and heartbreaking. I first read 70 some pages in one sitting at 1 AM, and this isn’t anything challenging for many. It used to not be for me. But considering my romance slump and how I don’t stay up late anymore, I consider that a huge win. And then the next day I wanted to do nothing else but read and find out how Gavin and Owen would make it together.
We moved and rocked together, building the fire between us until we couldn’t hold on anymore.
The angst never feels forced, allowing a balanced timeline to be made to show the process of hurt the characters go through. I’ve always loved how this author tells and shows her angst, encompassing enough elements to make it stand out and feel unique. While different choices could’ve been made to avoid all the drama, this story wouldn’t have existed and wouldn’t have a point to it had characters made smart decisions. Cause when do smart decisions lead to these consequences and outcomes? The characters have their unique distinctions that make them stand out compared to others. Both men deal with their own turmoils in different ways.
Military romances, or any romance that has the military in it, aren’t my favorite in any way, but I didn’t mind spending a long time with Gavin in the Marines. The plot of Gavin’s military life and Owen’s life going from school to work and his general life are fulfilled with enough sympathy for the readers to feel and express on their own. We follow Gavin in the Marines for most of the book, following along with journey of a broken boy with his dreams shattered into a man with a broken spirit unsure where to turn to. And we follow Owen with his yearning for the boy that he has never stopped loving as he dedicated enough time to his studies and work. Throughout the story, we follow these men along in their lives as they go on with it, whether by force or need, and it isn’t always mundane stuff. Every action and decision is made for the futures sake of adding drama yet I never once found myself thinking and wishing the characters acted differently. It’s one of those stories that showed me everything was made and done for a reason. For me to feel this way about a story isn’t common. Too often I feel like characters could’ve made different choices and I wished they acted differently to avoid drama, yet with Owen and Gavin I was glad for it all. It allowed me to experience their lives as it is, with enough integrity to make it visually appealing and realistic.
Owen was what made it home. Home was a person for me, not a place.
The yearning and angst are heartfelt. Owen and Gavin have felt a connection since they were two naive sixteen year olds with hopes and dreams and aspirations, never once thinking their lives would be changed for the worst at the ages of seventeen and eighteen. Through every segment and paragraph, we get enough feeling to experience what the characters are going through. All expressions are heartfelt, the yearning incredibly heartfelt. Both men’s connection is full of integrity. Although we see them with other characters, the connection between the two is always palpable.
The childhood friendship that develops into a secret relationship is nothing but adorable. Young love and teenage angst, Owen and Gavin’s friendship turned into a relationship in high school was a great addition to their future. We see them through their awkward moments and phases of teen love full of tentative touches, quick glances and rushed, secret kisses. The golden football star and the hopeful journalist made an amazing pair. Another reminder as to why childhood friends to lovers is my favorite trope.
Really, I think one of my only issue was how I had hoped and wished that Owen never hooked up with Matthew. It took away some of the fight he had in himself and I thought it made everything less complex. I wishes for Owen to fight with his own emotions and not let himself give in to Matthew. This is a personal quibble because I hated Matthew. Other than that though, this was quite the perfect read for me. It was heartfelt, emotional in every way for me and a true depiction of true love. Gavin and Owen have my heart, and I definitely will not be forgetting them any time soon. I also wish we got more information on Gavin’s PTSD. Because it’s an integral part of his life, Gavin’s PTSD and inability to show a control over it, I thought he needed help from a professional to get a better handle on it. Maybe he does, but I do wish we had been told this happens to know he’s getting the necessary help he needs and is on his way to helping himself, not just for his own but for Owen too. With his nightmares and flashbacks to the military, it’s clear that Gavin needs the help, and it makes sense considering everything. It’s just something we aren’t made aware of.
Thank you again, Nicky James, for allowing me to experience my love for this genre again through your words, through your characters, through your creativity of two men who had their lives shattered for the worst but where they were able to come back together.
August 21, 2019
~3.5~
Nicky James is an auto-buy author for me. I've loved everything she's written, including her Trials of Fear series, which features characters who suffer from brutal phobias.
Long Way Home spans eight years, from 2003, when the MCs are still high school students, to 2011, when they reunite following Gavin's medical discharge from the Marines.
Gavin returns home struggling with PTSD and depression, and Owen is his rock.
My favorite thing about this book is the epilogue, which is set in 2019 and brings a hard-won HEA for Gavin and Owen.
And let me tell you what; when I say the ending is hard-won, I mean these men spilled blood, sweat, and tears working for their ever after. Dear god but is this an angsty story, too angsty for me.
I don't love stories that span years and years, because inevitably they require a separation, which is the case here. The men have hook-ups with other people, which is realistic but not something I want to read about.
Gavin's family is homophobic. I loathed his father and the power he held over Gavin (at least initially). I also didn't understand why it took so damn long for Gavin's mother and brother to come around.
My rating reflects my personal preference for stories that are more comfort, less hurt; more laughter, fewer tears; more ups than downs.
I absolutely recommend this book for lovers of angst; the rest of you, proceed with caution.
Nicky James is an auto-buy author for me. I've loved everything she's written, including her Trials of Fear series, which features characters who suffer from brutal phobias.
Long Way Home spans eight years, from 2003, when the MCs are still high school students, to 2011, when they reunite following Gavin's medical discharge from the Marines.
Gavin returns home struggling with PTSD and depression, and Owen is his rock.
My favorite thing about this book is the epilogue, which is set in 2019 and brings a hard-won HEA for Gavin and Owen.
And let me tell you what; when I say the ending is hard-won, I mean these men spilled blood, sweat, and tears working for their ever after. Dear god but is this an angsty story, too angsty for me.
I don't love stories that span years and years, because inevitably they require a separation, which is the case here. The men have hook-ups with other people, which is realistic but not something I want to read about.
Gavin's family is homophobic. I loathed his father and the power he held over Gavin (at least initially). I also didn't understand why it took so damn long for Gavin's mother and brother to come around.
My rating reflects my personal preference for stories that are more comfort, less hurt; more laughter, fewer tears; more ups than downs.
I absolutely recommend this book for lovers of angst; the rest of you, proceed with caution.
August 27, 2019
3.5
Angst-Separation-Spans over years.
My absolute FAVOURITE things.
Loved both MCs,
Dragged a bit in the middle,
Overall,I enjoyed it.
Recommended.Available on KU.
Angst-Separation-Spans over years.
My absolute FAVOURITE things.
Loved both MCs,
Dragged a bit in the middle,
Overall,I enjoyed it.
Recommended.Available on KU.
September 6, 2019
"... I feel adrift. Lost. But at the end of the day, I know one thing for absolute certain. I love you. I've loved you since we were naïve, stupid teenagers who thought life was just that simple. I miss those days. I miss that time when you were my whole world and nothing else mattered..."
When you ache for two boys you know are "only" book characters and who could very well be real...
When your heart breaks for two boys who loose their childlike innocence and world-view through rose-colored glasses, who loose their hopes, their dreams, their love - due to some intangible bullsh*t pulled by those who should love them unconditionally and therefore whose lives got uncontrollably changed forever...
When you cry over their losses, but also when - after all this time - these two boys finally get their happily ever after...
Then I kissed him.
I poured all my heart and soul into our connection, desperate to take back what I'd lost over and over again. Needing this boy who wasn't a boy any longer but a man who I'd hurt deeply. We were two halves of a whole. Always had been, always would be.
When you can't read fast enough and don't want it to end at the same time...
When you happily ignore all pet peeves you might have possessed before because you simply can relate to their situation and it just feels realistic...
That's when you know you've just read the perfect book, which this one here was for me. Period. #myinnerangstjunkiehadafieldday #clandestinemilitarybrat
November 15, 2021
So... excuse me while I wallow in my tears 😭😭
This was brutal to listen to. These boys broke my heart. Gavin especially got dealt the crappiest of hands and he got hit over and over again. The poor baby.
I absolutely loved everything about this book, exept one tiny niggle in the epilogue.
The narration was amazing! Nick Russo knocked it out of the park!
Detailed review to come.
This was brutal to listen to. These boys broke my heart. Gavin especially got dealt the crappiest of hands and he got hit over and over again. The poor baby.
I absolutely loved everything about this book, exept one tiny niggle in the epilogue.
The narration was amazing! Nick Russo knocked it out of the park!
Detailed review to come.
December 11, 2021
Audio - 5 Stars
Story - 5 ++++ Stars
Story - 5 ++++ Stars
![Profile Image for Megan [At The Cottage].](/_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.gr-assets.com%2Fimages%2FS%2Fcompressed.photo.goodreads.com%2Fusers%2F1634561405i%2F25103878._UY200_CR50%2C0%2C200%2C200_.jpg&w=128&q=75)
December 16, 2022
MM Romance
Hurt/Comfort-High Angst
5++ Stars ⭐️
A To Z Book Title Challenge: L
Well, it would be great if I could stop crying long enough to write this review but I don’t see that happening anytime soon. This book wrecked me. I knew going in it was going to be angsty but I’ve read two books by this author before and hated the main characters so I kind of dismissed it. I was obviously wrong as I cried my heart out while reading this and not little sniffles but sobbing until my eyes were swollen, needing to blow my nose, eyes leaking buckets like a fucking faucet. So, in case it’s not clear, this is HIGH ANGST. 😭💔
This starts when both boys are naïve high schoolers and continues into their 20’s and beyond. What they both go through seems relentless and anytime it appears things might let up, tragedy strikes. Through it all they have this connection, this deep longing for each other that never goes away. This deep longing was incredibly hard to read about, pulled all my heartstrings but kept me completely engaged in their story. I needed them together, somehow, someday, something! just as much as they needed each other.
However, since this takes place over many years, they are not completely celibate during their times apart. Neither one has a relationship that means anything and technically they do save a piece of themselves for each other but they aren’t perfect. Normally I would hate this and I did but with everything that happens in this book, this part of it really didn’t matter at all. It’s nothing in relation to everything else but I thought I’d mention it if this is a dealbreaker.
Lastly, this book revolves around the US military and I usually try to stay away from this topic because of a lot of what happens in this book. The struggle to go back to civilian life after going to war here is real and sadly a lot of people fall through the cracks. My country likes to talk about how great our military is blah blah fucking blah but the truth is when our soldiers come home they are not helped like they should be. I can’t support an organization that teaches young people to be mindless killing machines to go to war but then doesn’t help them readjust to the real world upon returning. This book deals with a lot of that and it was sickening to read about and just added to the overall tragedy already occurring in this book.
But despite all of that I loved this book. I loved their relationship and love for each other even when it felt hopeless. This has a lot of right person, wrong time elements and they were heartbreaking. I highly recommend this book and I’m glad I gave Nicky James another chance because this is one of the best books I’ve read all year. 💗
Hurt/Comfort-High Angst
5++ Stars ⭐️
A To Z Book Title Challenge: L
Well, it would be great if I could stop crying long enough to write this review but I don’t see that happening anytime soon. This book wrecked me. I knew going in it was going to be angsty but I’ve read two books by this author before and hated the main characters so I kind of dismissed it. I was obviously wrong as I cried my heart out while reading this and not little sniffles but sobbing until my eyes were swollen, needing to blow my nose, eyes leaking buckets like a fucking faucet. So, in case it’s not clear, this is HIGH ANGST. 😭💔
This starts when both boys are naïve high schoolers and continues into their 20’s and beyond. What they both go through seems relentless and anytime it appears things might let up, tragedy strikes. Through it all they have this connection, this deep longing for each other that never goes away. This deep longing was incredibly hard to read about, pulled all my heartstrings but kept me completely engaged in their story. I needed them together, somehow, someday, something! just as much as they needed each other.
However, since this takes place over many years, they are not completely celibate during their times apart. Neither one has a relationship that means anything and technically they do save a piece of themselves for each other but they aren’t perfect. Normally I would hate this and I did but with everything that happens in this book, this part of it really didn’t matter at all. It’s nothing in relation to everything else but I thought I’d mention it if this is a dealbreaker.
Lastly, this book revolves around the US military and I usually try to stay away from this topic because of a lot of what happens in this book. The struggle to go back to civilian life after going to war here is real and sadly a lot of people fall through the cracks. My country likes to talk about how great our military is blah blah fucking blah but the truth is when our soldiers come home they are not helped like they should be. I can’t support an organization that teaches young people to be mindless killing machines to go to war but then doesn’t help them readjust to the real world upon returning. This book deals with a lot of that and it was sickening to read about and just added to the overall tragedy already occurring in this book.
But despite all of that I loved this book. I loved their relationship and love for each other even when it felt hopeless. This has a lot of right person, wrong time elements and they were heartbreaking. I highly recommend this book and I’m glad I gave Nicky James another chance because this is one of the best books I’ve read all year. 💗
September 5, 2019
Friends to lovers, años de separación, militares, dulzura y angst, angst, angst.
January 9, 2023
Imagine four short sentences and one immense error in judgement changing the entire trajectory of your life in the worst possible way. Four freaking sentences that level your existence and shatter your foundation, leaving you with nothing more than a bunch of scattered pieces and no way of putting them back together again. I couldn't get that thought out of my mind the entire time I was reading this book. Those of you who warned me to have tissues ready were not exaggerating. Nicky James has gotten me good at least four times now. I love the way she handles angst, but god it hurts.
Epic love stories are my absolute favorite, especially when they start when the characters are young like Gavin and Owen were (16). The beginning of their relationship was so sweet and wholesome - subtle touches, secret kisses by their lockers, declarations of first love, plans for the future. And then the bottom dropped out and everything changed. The rest of the book was downright painful. There were ups, but so many downs. There were beautiful friendships, but so much loss. At times I had to squint to find any remaining hope because things seemed to be getting worse in irreparable ways. The author could have done a lot of things that would have upset me, but she didn't. She chose her moments well and never gave more than what was needed, which I appreciated. I felt as though she did this story justice and I truly loved it - every aching page. This book reminded me why I love to read.
On a personal note, Gavin's experience touched on a sensitive subject for me. I lost a friend to suicide after he served in Iraq. His name was Jacob (Jake) Blaylock and never in a million years would I have thought that he would join the military after graduation. In high school he was a short, skinny version of Kurt Cobain with his long hair, ripped jeans, oversized cardigan and emo scowl (which was a total front - he had the biggest, toothiest smile ever). He was an artist and a musician and had the gentlest soul. He was beautiful in every sense of the word. He was also very depressed. Even without the knowledge and terminology we have today, it was obvious that his sadness was different from mine. His was deeper and darker and hidden in places people our age wouldn't have thought to look back then. What he experienced when deployed compounded problems that were already there and created new ones, scarier ones. He never should have been allowed to go. In 2009, there was an article written in the New York Times about him and several other soldiers who also ended their own lives after returning home from the war. It discussed the broken checks and balances system the military uses in regards to mental health and the way those methods consistently fall short. This book reminded me of Jake and all of the other soldiers who didn't get their HEA's like Gavin and Owen did. If you're interested, I've posted the link to the article below. ❤️
https://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/02/us...
Epic love stories are my absolute favorite, especially when they start when the characters are young like Gavin and Owen were (16). The beginning of their relationship was so sweet and wholesome - subtle touches, secret kisses by their lockers, declarations of first love, plans for the future. And then the bottom dropped out and everything changed. The rest of the book was downright painful. There were ups, but so many downs. There were beautiful friendships, but so much loss. At times I had to squint to find any remaining hope because things seemed to be getting worse in irreparable ways. The author could have done a lot of things that would have upset me, but she didn't. She chose her moments well and never gave more than what was needed, which I appreciated. I felt as though she did this story justice and I truly loved it - every aching page. This book reminded me why I love to read.
On a personal note, Gavin's experience touched on a sensitive subject for me. I lost a friend to suicide after he served in Iraq. His name was Jacob (Jake) Blaylock and never in a million years would I have thought that he would join the military after graduation. In high school he was a short, skinny version of Kurt Cobain with his long hair, ripped jeans, oversized cardigan and emo scowl (which was a total front - he had the biggest, toothiest smile ever). He was an artist and a musician and had the gentlest soul. He was beautiful in every sense of the word. He was also very depressed. Even without the knowledge and terminology we have today, it was obvious that his sadness was different from mine. His was deeper and darker and hidden in places people our age wouldn't have thought to look back then. What he experienced when deployed compounded problems that were already there and created new ones, scarier ones. He never should have been allowed to go. In 2009, there was an article written in the New York Times about him and several other soldiers who also ended their own lives after returning home from the war. It discussed the broken checks and balances system the military uses in regards to mental health and the way those methods consistently fall short. This book reminded me of Jake and all of the other soldiers who didn't get their HEA's like Gavin and Owen did. If you're interested, I've posted the link to the article below. ❤️
https://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/02/us...
August 20, 2019
I couldn’t look away from those swirling blue eyes. Eyes I’d seen every time I closed my own for years. Eyes that came to me in my dreams. Eyes that soothed and tormented in equal measure. My heart didn’t know if it should clench or race or swell, and my poor lungs gave up as I held my breath.
Wow!
Saying this book was sad, angsty, rollercoaster, is an understatement.
Long Way Home is the kind of book that gave you lots of feelings, sweet, blushing, angry, sad, frustrated, depression, knots in your stomach and the feeling of being betrayed, jealousy, angry, angry, angry...mostly angry.
Con :This book was THICK of angst, death, homophobic, a long journey to find each other and hookups while they're not together (this is the most disturbing thing for me).
Pro : the writing was stellar, chemistry between the two MC was thick, lovely friendships, made me cry (which I love sometimes).
Owen is Gavin's first (and only) love, right from the start when he saw Owen, the adorable Owen. All Gavin can think of is Owen. Owen is his whole world, his happily ever after kind of fairy tales he dream of.
Owen and Gavin both sixteen at the time.
Life is easy, happy, and both boys are so naive about life.
But life happened somehow, and their life were not as beautiful as they wanted to. It was ugly, rough, mean and destroyed the pure Gavin and Owen along the way.
This book spare sixteen years of their life, sixteen years full of bump road, ugliness, angst, and they're not really together for eight years. The ugliest eight years of their life. My heart was broken for Gavin. And I really wanted to kill his father for being the cause of it.
This was where I'm not happy about it, his father deserved more punishment in his life, but no closure except a divorce. Gavin practically alone in this world, I'm glad he had Niko, his best friend. While Owen had Lorenzo to be his shoulder to cry on.
Eight years of come and go, love and hate, together and separation, together and being with other people (I don't call it cheating, it was just young love need more to learn that sometimes life is not that pretty and they need to meet other people before finding their HEA).
Long Way Home is not a book for a weak heart like me, but I read it anyway, I cannot stop thinking about it anyway, I can't stop hating the the author for making Gavin and Owen's life miserable.
But in the end, I have to admit that this book consumed me to the level 'I need medicine' for my pain in my stomach and my head.
I wanted to give this book one star, but it won't be fair.
To me, this is one of those great book that you don't want to re-read it in the future. Once is enough.
I'm miserable enough. But happy for Gavin and Owen that finally their hell on earth ended beautifully. And I loved the ending so much.
Five stars
June 7, 2025
Second read through on audio: all of my comments below still stands. Such an absolutely amazing story filled with heartbreak but a beautiful HEA! I definitely recommend the audio and if you can handle long periods of time without the MCs in contact and other boyfriends in between then this is a must-read!
This book was absolutely heartbreaking! I lived in a state of anxiety and hurt and sadness for most of this book but this was a beautiful story of two hearts coming together despite everything and I mean everything standing in their way.
The fact that what Gavin had to go through as a marine is real and this actually happens is so scary to me. At least he ended up with a happy ending.
If you don’t mind books filled with angst and heartbreak but end with a happy ending then this is the perfect book for you. I would absolutely recommend it!
This book was absolutely heartbreaking! I lived in a state of anxiety and hurt and sadness for most of this book but this was a beautiful story of two hearts coming together despite everything and I mean everything standing in their way.
The fact that what Gavin had to go through as a marine is real and this actually happens is so scary to me. At least he ended up with a happy ending.
If you don’t mind books filled with angst and heartbreak but end with a happy ending then this is the perfect book for you. I would absolutely recommend it!
June 22, 2021
Wow.
This book was on my tbr for a long time. I love Nicky James so I knew I’ll read it eventually, but every time I pushed it for later. I hesitated because military romance is not really my thing, and although angsty mm books are my favorites, it’s always felt like maybe it’ll be too much.
I’m not gonna lie, it is full of angst. I started crying like an emotional mess 20% in and hadn’t really stopped since (I’m okay now!! 😂)
James’s always manage to break my heart and then put back together the pieces.
If angsty romance with complex characters and heartbreaking story with well earned HEA is your thing, this book is for you. ♥️
This book was on my tbr for a long time. I love Nicky James so I knew I’ll read it eventually, but every time I pushed it for later. I hesitated because military romance is not really my thing, and although angsty mm books are my favorites, it’s always felt like maybe it’ll be too much.
I’m not gonna lie, it is full of angst. I started crying like an emotional mess 20% in and hadn’t really stopped since (I’m okay now!! 😂)
James’s always manage to break my heart and then put back together the pieces.
If angsty romance with complex characters and heartbreaking story with well earned HEA is your thing, this book is for you. ♥️
December 8, 2023
Wow. The angst. My poor heart. I couldn’t stop thinking about Owen and Gavin for three days while reading this.
First love. Friendship. Happiness. Plans for the future.
And then life wrecked them, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe, until they finally got home to each other. Years and years later.
I have no more tears left. My eyes hurt. But it was so worth it.
First love. Friendship. Happiness. Plans for the future.
And then life wrecked them, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe, until they finally got home to each other. Years and years later.
I have no more tears left. My eyes hurt. But it was so worth it.
August 21, 2019
It certainly is a long, long way home for Gavin.
What a heart-rending story!
Gavin certainly pulls the short straw when he and Owen decide to come out to their parents in the last weeks of High School. His parents’ reaction is more than shocking. His dad turns out to be a raging homophobe. (How did Gavin never know, I wonder? His brother had a clear idea after all.)
It totally changes the course of his life, and it was really painful to see him go through a career he never wanted, one which eventually takes him to the brink of oblivion. Even worse is his aching loneliness and the lack of a family and a home.
Owen fares a lot better, and his life turns our rather ‘normal’ apart from the gaping Gavin shaped hole in his heart that never recovers. It’s like a grey cloud that hangs over him for years. One that keeps him from being really happy.
Nicky James knows how to describe the agony of both men, being ripped apart as boys and then re-meeting again and again over 7 years, never getting that HEA they’ve always been looking for. On the contrary there is so much hurt on both sides around, it was shredding my heart to pieces.
I really like Nicky James and her writing. She understands how to draw intense emotions and show the anguish RL can throw at you. This is one fine example of it.
A wonderful second chance romance with quite a bit of grit and heartache
What a heart-rending story!
Gavin certainly pulls the short straw when he and Owen decide to come out to their parents in the last weeks of High School. His parents’ reaction is more than shocking. His dad turns out to be a raging homophobe. (How did Gavin never know, I wonder? His brother had a clear idea after all.)
It totally changes the course of his life, and it was really painful to see him go through a career he never wanted, one which eventually takes him to the brink of oblivion. Even worse is his aching loneliness and the lack of a family and a home.
Owen fares a lot better, and his life turns our rather ‘normal’ apart from the gaping Gavin shaped hole in his heart that never recovers. It’s like a grey cloud that hangs over him for years. One that keeps him from being really happy.
Nicky James knows how to describe the agony of both men, being ripped apart as boys and then re-meeting again and again over 7 years, never getting that HEA they’ve always been looking for. On the contrary there is so much hurt on both sides around, it was shredding my heart to pieces.
I really like Nicky James and her writing. She understands how to draw intense emotions and show the anguish RL can throw at you. This is one fine example of it.
A wonderful second chance romance with quite a bit of grit and heartache
November 28, 2021
trauma porn
This book uses several plot devices I loathe. It’s very MF-y in that regard…Like the misunderstanding AND the horrible fight where they don’t communicate and could end the fight by actually talking to one another like mature adults but don’t. Ugh.
I’m 56% in and it’s depressing as hell. No light at the end of the tunnel. Just endless trauma porn ahead. Ugh. Not sure if I can take it.
Why did Gavin have to join the military? He could have gotten a normal job that did not require a 4 year commitment but then there wouldn’t be misery for Owen.
I’m not a fan when the MCs are apart most of the book AND have sex with other people. It’s just adds to the layer of depression I feel as I read this story.
59% in a a beloved character is killed off. Why?!?!? Ughh. Why torture us like this. Another poor plot device. Kill someone so the two MCs that haven’t seen each other for 4 long years can now have a reason to be together in the same room again. I’m hate reading at this point.
79% in and this book is truly off the rails. Both MCs are sleeping with other people. And I’m not sure I want an HEA for either one of them. Let them stew in misery the rest of their lives. Ugh. Passive aggressive relationships are SO annoying and I’m an idiot to even still be reading this. These people are a toxic combination.
I got to the end. I feel unsettled. Traumatizing book. So depressed. There definitely should have been stronger TWs on this book.
This book uses several plot devices I loathe. It’s very MF-y in that regard…Like the misunderstanding AND the horrible fight where they don’t communicate and could end the fight by actually talking to one another like mature adults but don’t. Ugh.
I’m 56% in and it’s depressing as hell. No light at the end of the tunnel. Just endless trauma porn ahead. Ugh. Not sure if I can take it.
Why did Gavin have to join the military? He could have gotten a normal job that did not require a 4 year commitment but then there wouldn’t be misery for Owen.
I’m not a fan when the MCs are apart most of the book AND have sex with other people. It’s just adds to the layer of depression I feel as I read this story.
59% in a a beloved character is killed off. Why?!?!? Ughh. Why torture us like this. Another poor plot device. Kill someone so the two MCs that haven’t seen each other for 4 long years can now have a reason to be together in the same room again. I’m hate reading at this point.
79% in and this book is truly off the rails. Both MCs are sleeping with other people. And I’m not sure I want an HEA for either one of them. Let them stew in misery the rest of their lives. Ugh. Passive aggressive relationships are SO annoying and I’m an idiot to even still be reading this. These people are a toxic combination.
I got to the end. I feel unsettled. Traumatizing book. So depressed. There definitely should have been stronger TWs on this book.
![Profile Image for moonlight ☾ [semi-hiatus].](/_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.gr-assets.com%2Fimages%2FS%2Fcompressed.photo.goodreads.com%2Fusers%2F1645500038i%2F37448930._UX200_CR0%2C0%2C200%2C200_.jpg&w=128&q=75)
July 13, 2020
✰ 4 stars ✰
Wow, this was definitely an angsty, heartbreaking story that spans over time. Owen and Gavin met, and fell in love, at the age of 16 when they were still in high school and the story follows their lives up until they're adults. This book made me cry and feel a lot so I couldn't give it less than four stars (cause I do love being an emotional mess in my romance books lmao), but I wish there a bit of light-heartedness to balance it out because the 'light' moments were mainly in the beginning of the book and it all became chaos after. Also, the middle felt too repetitive for me with the two separating then getting back together every time they reconnect. They've both made mistakes over the years I personally wasn't a fan of, but the ending where they finally got their HEA made it all worth it cause, honestly, this all started with Gavin's dad being a homophobic ass and sending him to the military. If that never happened, Owen and Gavin's lives would have been so much different and they wouldn't have to experience all the sadness that happened in the book. I was also quite shocked with Lorenzo's death. That made me sad, considering he was one of the few accepting ones and who Owen leaned on during the hard times. Overall, I'd recommend this if you're in the mood for something angst-filled and emotional with a HEA! <3
Wow, this was definitely an angsty, heartbreaking story that spans over time. Owen and Gavin met, and fell in love, at the age of 16 when they were still in high school and the story follows their lives up until they're adults. This book made me cry and feel a lot so I couldn't give it less than four stars (cause I do love being an emotional mess in my romance books lmao), but I wish there a bit of light-heartedness to balance it out because the 'light' moments were mainly in the beginning of the book and it all became chaos after. Also, the middle felt too repetitive for me with the two separating then getting back together every time they reconnect. They've both made mistakes over the years I personally wasn't a fan of, but the ending where they finally got their HEA made it all worth it cause, honestly, this all started with Gavin's dad being a homophobic ass and sending him to the military. If that never happened, Owen and Gavin's lives would have been so much different and they wouldn't have to experience all the sadness that happened in the book. I was also quite shocked with Lorenzo's death. That made me sad, considering he was one of the few accepting ones and who Owen leaned on during the hard times. Overall, I'd recommend this if you're in the mood for something angst-filled and emotional with a HEA! <3
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 15, 2019
Nicky James never disappoints! Her books are always jam-packed with emotion, steam, and intensity. This book kept me on the edge of my seat THE ENTIRE time! If you love gay romance with angst and a hard fight for a happily ever after, then this book is for you! Five GAVIN IS MY HERO stars!
dnf-nope
January 21, 2024Dnf-
I tried so hard but they lost their virginities together then during separation (the multiple separations might I add🥲) they were with others. I can’t, especially since some things were on page.🤢
I tried so hard but they lost their virginities together then during separation (the multiple separations might I add🥲) they were with others. I can’t, especially since some things were on page.🤢
October 23, 2022
2.5 stars
This was just depressing. And I felt like the entire story was told to me without really experiencing anything. This one didn't work.
This was just depressing. And I felt like the entire story was told to me without really experiencing anything. This one didn't work.
August 16, 2019
It’s been awhile since I’ve read a Nicky James book. I forgot how sad they can be. And this book was SAD.
There’s no time jumps back and forth between the past and the present, but it is told in a linear fashion going all the way back to high school days and told in first-person past tense. So, that threw me off a bit, because WHEN was the “present”? For the most part, I did enjoy reading this book (because dragged out angst is a weakness), but there were some things I didn’t really like that kind of dragged the book down for me.
Trigger warnings for PTSD, depression, mentions of contemplating suicide, estrangement from family, violence fighting in war zones, homomisia, fatphobia, and death of friends.
Spoilers ahead!!
This book starts off with the characters at 16-years-old. They’re young, innocent, and carefree. Gavin is a football player and his parents are fairly well-off. Owen is a school journalist with big dreams and his family isn’t wealthy.
Gavin doesn’t know he’s gay yet when he first meets Owen, but it’s sweet watching them slowly fall in love. It’s Owen who is scared to tell his parents he’s gay and announce their relationship, and Gavin is sure his family would be fine with knowing who he is and that Owen is his boyfriend. Gavin had dreams to follow in his father’s footsteps and be a vet, but all his dreams shattered when it turns out his father isn’t who he thought he was.
Gavin is yanked out of school and enlisted into the Marines. The whole affair is awful and heartbreaking, and it’s the first of many years of heartaches and misery between Gavin and Owen.
I knew this book was going to be sad, but it was ROUGH. Why Gavin’s own brother never contacted him during their estrangement is weird, but I would have LOVED to have seen someone punch Gavin’s dad in the face. Sadly, we never get that ~big confrontation.
While Gavin is away training to be a Marine, Owen lives the life of a college boy in the school they should have gone to together, and has Gavin’s friends at his side.
Owen’s best friend is Lorenzo, another football friend from high school. He’s described as a big guy and overweight. But what I have a problem with is that he dies of a heart condition very young. And I’m not okay with that?? Just to make Owen’s life even more miserable (and trust me, it was sad enough), his best friend has to be killed off?? I’m not a fan AT ALL of making a plot device out of a fat character being killed off in a book, thanks.
Also, it’s strange to me that out of all of Gavin’s friends in the Marines, everyone just gets called by their last names and the ONE person who gets a nickname just happens to be the Japanese-American character? The guy’s name is Niko O’Dell and he’s stereotypically good at marital arts and is nicknamed “Ninja”. I cringed every time I had to read that.
There’s technically no cheating in this book because Owen and Gavin aren’t technically together for a long time. But they do hook up with other people in-between the days they see each other, and some readers might not be okay with that so I thought I’d mention it.
This book is sad and all the feels because of the long years between Owen and Gavin. I could have done without a lot of the stuff in this book to make it extra sad though, like what happened with Gavin’s family and the deaths. The story ends in a good place, but it definitely was not my favorite out of the author’s books.
There’s no time jumps back and forth between the past and the present, but it is told in a linear fashion going all the way back to high school days and told in first-person past tense. So, that threw me off a bit, because WHEN was the “present”? For the most part, I did enjoy reading this book (because dragged out angst is a weakness), but there were some things I didn’t really like that kind of dragged the book down for me.
Trigger warnings for PTSD, depression, mentions of contemplating suicide, estrangement from family, violence fighting in war zones, homomisia, fatphobia, and death of friends.
Spoilers ahead!!
This book starts off with the characters at 16-years-old. They’re young, innocent, and carefree. Gavin is a football player and his parents are fairly well-off. Owen is a school journalist with big dreams and his family isn’t wealthy.
Gavin doesn’t know he’s gay yet when he first meets Owen, but it’s sweet watching them slowly fall in love. It’s Owen who is scared to tell his parents he’s gay and announce their relationship, and Gavin is sure his family would be fine with knowing who he is and that Owen is his boyfriend. Gavin had dreams to follow in his father’s footsteps and be a vet, but all his dreams shattered when it turns out his father isn’t who he thought he was.
Gavin is yanked out of school and enlisted into the Marines. The whole affair is awful and heartbreaking, and it’s the first of many years of heartaches and misery between Gavin and Owen.
I knew this book was going to be sad, but it was ROUGH. Why Gavin’s own brother never contacted him during their estrangement is weird, but I would have LOVED to have seen someone punch Gavin’s dad in the face. Sadly, we never get that ~big confrontation.
While Gavin is away training to be a Marine, Owen lives the life of a college boy in the school they should have gone to together, and has Gavin’s friends at his side.
Owen’s best friend is Lorenzo, another football friend from high school. He’s described as a big guy and overweight. But what I have a problem with is that he dies of a heart condition very young. And I’m not okay with that?? Just to make Owen’s life even more miserable (and trust me, it was sad enough), his best friend has to be killed off?? I’m not a fan AT ALL of making a plot device out of a fat character being killed off in a book, thanks.
Also, it’s strange to me that out of all of Gavin’s friends in the Marines, everyone just gets called by their last names and the ONE person who gets a nickname just happens to be the Japanese-American character? The guy’s name is Niko O’Dell and he’s stereotypically good at marital arts and is nicknamed “Ninja”. I cringed every time I had to read that.
There’s technically no cheating in this book because Owen and Gavin aren’t technically together for a long time. But they do hook up with other people in-between the days they see each other, and some readers might not be okay with that so I thought I’d mention it.
This book is sad and all the feels because of the long years between Owen and Gavin. I could have done without a lot of the stuff in this book to make it extra sad though, like what happened with Gavin’s family and the deaths. The story ends in a good place, but it definitely was not my favorite out of the author’s books.
August 23, 2019
*3.5 stars*
Sjeesh. What a ride. Gavin sure was given a bad hand. I loved Gavin being so sure of his feelings for Owen as a teenager. He didn't give a shit about what other people thought. His friends neither. Who would've though that could happen when?....
And then everything changed. Obviously for Gavin. But Owen had a hard time letting go of Gavin.
Seeing Gavin so damaged broke my heart.
This book spans 15 years. 8 years was told in this story. So basically their hard earned HEA was after 7 years. 7 years of coming back together again and making a new life for themselves again. But
Still mad about that one. So yeah. There's that.
August 16, 2019
OMG... this book.. it's everything!!!
Long Way Home follows the lives of soulmates, Gavin and Owen, over a span of 16 years.
As with all of Nicky James's book, Long Way Home takes you on an emotional rollercoaster. The journey that these two men take will leave your heart aching.
Gavin and Owen met in high school and thought they had their whole lives ahead of them. Little did they know that not everything last forever.
Long Way Home is a second chance romance and in true Nicky James style, she visits mental health.
This book is aptly titled as Gavin and Owen's journey back to each over, their home, isn't an easy one!
If you're looking for a book with true in depth character development, angst and ALL THE FEELS, then you will not regret Long Way Home.
Congratulation Mrs James on another amazing read!!!
Long Way Home follows the lives of soulmates, Gavin and Owen, over a span of 16 years.
As with all of Nicky James's book, Long Way Home takes you on an emotional rollercoaster. The journey that these two men take will leave your heart aching.
Gavin and Owen met in high school and thought they had their whole lives ahead of them. Little did they know that not everything last forever.
Long Way Home is a second chance romance and in true Nicky James style, she visits mental health.
This book is aptly titled as Gavin and Owen's journey back to each over, their home, isn't an easy one!
If you're looking for a book with true in depth character development, angst and ALL THE FEELS, then you will not regret Long Way Home.
Congratulation Mrs James on another amazing read!!!
September 11, 2019
Ughhhh Gavin's dad can go straight to hell! My heart broke for Gavin and Owen but they finally got their HEA! 💕
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Read
January 6, 20223 or 5 stars.. I am not going to put a rating on this since I go back and forth.
Honestly I have no idea how to rate this… I cried and got pissed and smiled and just all the emotion that I had throughout this book was intense haha
I knew this would get me from some of the reviews I read but I still wasn’t expecting it! Haha
I wanted to throttle Gavin so many times with how he was leaving things with Owen over and over. I will admit it has been a long time since I have read an angst filled book and my god did this take me on emotional journey I was not prepared for. I was on edge for a good majority of the book and Nicky James getting that emotional reaction out of me, is a testament to her writing skills! She is a wizard with the characters she creates and the stories she tells, like her Trials of Fear/Phobia series, that one still is one of my favorites!
I was kinda bummed on the time jump that happened at the end from the last chapter to what i consider the epilogue, I wanted something that was in between those 7 years.
But honestly the thing that broke my heart was Lorenzo omg that’s where the tears and emotions started and then was on a nonstop roller coaster.
Nick J Russo did an amazing job with this book and I am so glad I decided to listen to it.
If you are prepared to have your heart put through the in ringer then this is the book for you.
Honestly I have no idea how to rate this… I cried and got pissed and smiled and just all the emotion that I had throughout this book was intense haha
I knew this would get me from some of the reviews I read but I still wasn’t expecting it! Haha
I wanted to throttle Gavin so many times with how he was leaving things with Owen over and over. I will admit it has been a long time since I have read an angst filled book and my god did this take me on emotional journey I was not prepared for. I was on edge for a good majority of the book and Nicky James getting that emotional reaction out of me, is a testament to her writing skills! She is a wizard with the characters she creates and the stories she tells, like her Trials of Fear/Phobia series, that one still is one of my favorites!
I was kinda bummed on the time jump that happened at the end from the last chapter to what i consider the epilogue, I wanted something that was in between those 7 years.
But honestly the thing that broke my heart was Lorenzo omg that’s where the tears and emotions started and then was on a nonstop roller coaster.
Nick J Russo did an amazing job with this book and I am so glad I decided to listen to it.
If you are prepared to have your heart put through the in ringer then this is the book for you.
October 6, 2024
So let me get this out of the way first: there is “cheating.”
Now, you can talk about the technicalities - they weren’t really together, there were no promises, blah blah blah. But the fact is, they were in love, they each knew the other loved them, and instead of putting their minds to staying together, they tried to move on despite loving each other. To me, that’s cheating.
However.
There’s the minor consolation that they don’t bottom for other men. And… for whatever reason, men “cheating” on other men just has a different impact on me. Maybe it’s because men in general seem to be able to separate sex from love, compartmentalize it more than women. If it was a MF novel, I’d have DNFed this or never picked it up in the first place.
Double standards. So sue me.
Doesn’t mean I’m happy about it. But… in the context of many years of separation because one of the MCs is deployed in the marines, I guess I kinda get it. Makes me feel for all the wives and gfs of soldiers who have to experience this. And the soldiers themselves who don’t have the comfort of their loved ones, who might seek temporary distraction from strangers.
Anyway, the whole book was about how these 2 young lovers ultimately found their way back to each other and came through to the other side together despite the world (and themselves) striving to pull them away.
It’s not a 5 star because…I dunno. I guess I’m not a fan of second-chance. Or, in this case, like 8th or 9th or 10th chance. The yo-yoing just defeated me.
Now, you can talk about the technicalities - they weren’t really together, there were no promises, blah blah blah. But the fact is, they were in love, they each knew the other loved them, and instead of putting their minds to staying together, they tried to move on despite loving each other. To me, that’s cheating.
However.
There’s the minor consolation that they don’t bottom for other men. And… for whatever reason, men “cheating” on other men just has a different impact on me. Maybe it’s because men in general seem to be able to separate sex from love, compartmentalize it more than women. If it was a MF novel, I’d have DNFed this or never picked it up in the first place.
Double standards. So sue me.
Doesn’t mean I’m happy about it. But… in the context of many years of separation because one of the MCs is deployed in the marines, I guess I kinda get it. Makes me feel for all the wives and gfs of soldiers who have to experience this. And the soldiers themselves who don’t have the comfort of their loved ones, who might seek temporary distraction from strangers.
Anyway, the whole book was about how these 2 young lovers ultimately found their way back to each other and came through to the other side together despite the world (and themselves) striving to pull them away.
It’s not a 5 star because…I dunno. I guess I’m not a fan of second-chance. Or, in this case, like 8th or 9th or 10th chance. The yo-yoing just defeated me.
February 3, 2026
If you want to drown in emotion from page one, this is it.
Now that I’m finished, it’s like I can breathe normally, though my heart is still constricting a little 💔
I have to say that I just like Nicky’s writing; it is smooth, it hooks you in, and it’s beautiful.
And the beginning is so truly sweet 🤍 The emotions are so honest and pure that it becomes an immediate can’t-stop-can’t-put-down read. Not even 10% in, I was already melting and smiling, fully aware I’d be crying later.
“Our fingers brushed together.
All my insides liquified.”
I was surprised the tears didn’t come right away.
Up until around 85%, it was pure hurt, it hurt so much I couldn’t even cry.
My heart broke for Gavin over and over again. For both of them, really, but Gavin’s story was especially cruel and so not fair..💔
I deeply appreciated how human they remained. Trying to move on, not freezing themselves in memories or sorrow while batting away the possibilities of happiness or a simple wind-down.
And while I didn’t agree with every decision, every choice still felt right for the setting, the age, and the level of heartache in that moment.
Considering the story begins when they’re sixteen, the emotional development is powerful. You can see the growth in how they think, how they react, and how they love. Every reunion shows change. Nothing felt unnecessary or dragged.
“He was a gift. A shining star in my dark world. A guiding light keeping me tethered to reality, not letting me slip away.”
It’s like you don’t simply read a love story; it makes you feel things, relive emotions.
A powerful and beautiful book 🤍
Now that I’m finished, it’s like I can breathe normally, though my heart is still constricting a little 💔
I have to say that I just like Nicky’s writing; it is smooth, it hooks you in, and it’s beautiful.
And the beginning is so truly sweet 🤍 The emotions are so honest and pure that it becomes an immediate can’t-stop-can’t-put-down read. Not even 10% in, I was already melting and smiling, fully aware I’d be crying later.
“Our fingers brushed together.
All my insides liquified.”
I was surprised the tears didn’t come right away.
Up until around 85%, it was pure hurt, it hurt so much I couldn’t even cry.
My heart broke for Gavin over and over again. For both of them, really, but Gavin’s story was especially cruel and so not fair..💔
I deeply appreciated how human they remained. Trying to move on, not freezing themselves in memories or sorrow while batting away the possibilities of happiness or a simple wind-down.
And while I didn’t agree with every decision, every choice still felt right for the setting, the age, and the level of heartache in that moment.
Considering the story begins when they’re sixteen, the emotional development is powerful. You can see the growth in how they think, how they react, and how they love. Every reunion shows change. Nothing felt unnecessary or dragged.
“He was a gift. A shining star in my dark world. A guiding light keeping me tethered to reality, not letting me slip away.”
It’s like you don’t simply read a love story; it makes you feel things, relive emotions.
A powerful and beautiful book 🤍
October 23, 2020
This book was on my TBR since it was released and I was so eager to read it, while at the same time I was just too scared to go in. I read some reviews and one thing they all agreed on: the angst. Sometimes there's days I have to protect myself and my poor heart and I don't want to go into books with so much angst, because it would HURT just too much to be able to cope with it.
But there are other days I seem to crave it. Honestly, I still haven't figured out yet how that works, but in the end: I needed this book!! I just hadn't realized it yet. Yes, I guess I'm weird that way ;)
When I finally decided to read it, it was just the right time, I guess. I'd been reading some m/m romances on the heavier side, and maybe that was just the building up that I needed to be able to read this one.
And yes, there was a lot of angst, but it's a Nicky James book, so I don't expect less. I was already trying to be prepared for that emotional roller coaster, for all those feelings of sadness and grieve and hurt, but still...when they washed over me, my heart still ached so much for Gavin and Owen. It was painful to watch Gavin's life fall to pieces, to see him forced into a life he didn't want at all and then ended up holding onto it because it was the only thing he knew. I was so glad for him to have found a lifetime friendship there with Niko, a wonderful guy to befriend, and I think he saved Gavin in more than one way.
And then, of course, there was Owen. He didn't know why Gavin left him, what happened, why Gavin disappeared all together. But it had broken his heart into so many pieces, it would never be able to heal again. He built walls around himself so no one would be able to do that to him again. But in the end, he was so lonely. Ten years after Gavin disappeared, he still couldn't let him go. What Niko was to Gavin, that's what Lorenzo was to Owen. He kept him sane, he kept him grounded. Until he couldn't anymore.
The only way I manage to read books such as these, is knowing there will be a HEA. Or a HFN. Otherwise I couldn't deal with all the angst. I think that goes for a lot of people who read romance. Somehow it's even more satisfying when the MC's have to work hard for it, and so, the more angst, the more emotional the HEA when finally reached.
So, if the angst doesn't scare you off too much, I highly recommend this book, because even though it's the kind of book you might want to avoid, it's also the kind of book that you, once you have the courage to pick it up, don't want to end either.
Gavin and Owen will stick with me for a long time still. I loved them both.
Then I kissed him. I poured all my heart and soul into our connection, desperate to take back what I'd lost over and over again. Needing this boy who wasn't a boy any longer but a man who I'd hurt deeply. We were two halves of a whole. Always had been, always would be.
But there are other days I seem to crave it. Honestly, I still haven't figured out yet how that works, but in the end: I needed this book!! I just hadn't realized it yet. Yes, I guess I'm weird that way ;)
When I finally decided to read it, it was just the right time, I guess. I'd been reading some m/m romances on the heavier side, and maybe that was just the building up that I needed to be able to read this one.
And yes, there was a lot of angst, but it's a Nicky James book, so I don't expect less. I was already trying to be prepared for that emotional roller coaster, for all those feelings of sadness and grieve and hurt, but still...when they washed over me, my heart still ached so much for Gavin and Owen. It was painful to watch Gavin's life fall to pieces, to see him forced into a life he didn't want at all and then ended up holding onto it because it was the only thing he knew. I was so glad for him to have found a lifetime friendship there with Niko, a wonderful guy to befriend, and I think he saved Gavin in more than one way.
And then, of course, there was Owen. He didn't know why Gavin left him, what happened, why Gavin disappeared all together. But it had broken his heart into so many pieces, it would never be able to heal again. He built walls around himself so no one would be able to do that to him again. But in the end, he was so lonely. Ten years after Gavin disappeared, he still couldn't let him go. What Niko was to Gavin, that's what Lorenzo was to Owen. He kept him sane, he kept him grounded. Until he couldn't anymore.
The only way I manage to read books such as these, is knowing there will be a HEA. Or a HFN. Otherwise I couldn't deal with all the angst. I think that goes for a lot of people who read romance. Somehow it's even more satisfying when the MC's have to work hard for it, and so, the more angst, the more emotional the HEA when finally reached.
So, if the angst doesn't scare you off too much, I highly recommend this book, because even though it's the kind of book you might want to avoid, it's also the kind of book that you, once you have the courage to pick it up, don't want to end either.
Gavin and Owen will stick with me for a long time still. I loved them both.
Then I kissed him. I poured all my heart and soul into our connection, desperate to take back what I'd lost over and over again. Needing this boy who wasn't a boy any longer but a man who I'd hurt deeply. We were two halves of a whole. Always had been, always would be.
August 26, 2019
Full on angst galore
My throat is tight, my heart feels like it’s been through the ringer and I have a pounding headache from the 3 hours of sleep I managed to sneak in the night before while trying to finish this book. No, I’m not sick but I am very emotionally affected by this story.
I don’t know what I expected but it definitely wasn’t the full on angst galore we were dished up. It was certainly a loooong way home.
While I loved it and definitely cried for it and feel like Ms James pried my heart out of my chest and stomped on it multiple times for good measure, I’m also glad I did finally crash and took my 3 hours of sleep last night. I wouldn’t have slept if given the choice but alas, Monday sucks 😑lol
Oh... so I was saying, I’m glad I went to sleep when I did because I had some distance and some time to process the story and realised, gosh, while I love the story, it’s a lot of unnecessary angst! Why?!?!? Why did all the most horrible things happen to two of the sweetest people in booklandia?!? *shakes fist at the heavens...err, I mean at Ms James 😆*
I don’t know if the last chapter was enough to soothe my soul though. I’m way too bruised to recover from just that last chapter alone. We should have more happy chapters!! 🤪
After all that’s said, I haven’t enjoyed such a heavily angst book in a long time! Just wish I knew it was what I was getting in to before I started 🙊
4.5 stars rounded up
My throat is tight, my heart feels like it’s been through the ringer and I have a pounding headache from the 3 hours of sleep I managed to sneak in the night before while trying to finish this book. No, I’m not sick but I am very emotionally affected by this story.
I don’t know what I expected but it definitely wasn’t the full on angst galore we were dished up. It was certainly a loooong way home.
While I loved it and definitely cried for it and feel like Ms James pried my heart out of my chest and stomped on it multiple times for good measure, I’m also glad I did finally crash and took my 3 hours of sleep last night. I wouldn’t have slept if given the choice but alas, Monday sucks 😑lol
Oh... so I was saying, I’m glad I went to sleep when I did because I had some distance and some time to process the story and realised, gosh, while I love the story, it’s a lot of unnecessary angst! Why?!?!? Why did all the most horrible things happen to two of the sweetest people in booklandia?!? *shakes fist at the heavens...err, I mean at Ms James 😆*
I don’t know if the last chapter was enough to soothe my soul though. I’m way too bruised to recover from just that last chapter alone. We should have more happy chapters!! 🤪
After all that’s said, I haven’t enjoyed such a heavily angst book in a long time! Just wish I knew it was what I was getting in to before I started 🙊
4.5 stars rounded up
August 28, 2021
Nicky James never disappoints me!!!
This book fucked me up!
It was a sad and angsty rollercoaster.
Loved it!
This book fucked me up!
It was a sad and angsty rollercoaster.
Loved it!
July 13, 2023
RECENSIONE A CURA DI SLANIF
Gavin Buchanan e Owen Wallace hanno 16 anni quando, nell’aprile 2003, si incontrano per la prima volta.
Sono studenti del liceo: il primo è popolare, giocatore di football; il secondo è un nerd che sogna di fare il giornalista. Non dovrebbero avere niente in comune, sulla carta, e invece, dopo un inizio un po’ imbarazzante, tra i due scocca l’amore e nelle loro menti di adolescenti (ingenue e sognanti, con una visione del mondo un po’ troppo rosea) pensano che niente e nessuno potrà mai dividerli. Il futuro appare loro spianato: andranno all’università insieme, convivranno nel mentre e saranno sempre felici e contenti.
Il problema? Non avrebbero mai potuto sbagliarsi più di così.
Già, perché quando viene fuori che sono gay, beh… La loro sorte non sarà affatto quella che avevano sognato…
Continua sul nostro blog!
Gavin Buchanan e Owen Wallace hanno 16 anni quando, nell’aprile 2003, si incontrano per la prima volta.
Sono studenti del liceo: il primo è popolare, giocatore di football; il secondo è un nerd che sogna di fare il giornalista. Non dovrebbero avere niente in comune, sulla carta, e invece, dopo un inizio un po’ imbarazzante, tra i due scocca l’amore e nelle loro menti di adolescenti (ingenue e sognanti, con una visione del mondo un po’ troppo rosea) pensano che niente e nessuno potrà mai dividerli. Il futuro appare loro spianato: andranno all’università insieme, convivranno nel mentre e saranno sempre felici e contenti.
Il problema? Non avrebbero mai potuto sbagliarsi più di così.
Già, perché quando viene fuori che sono gay, beh… La loro sorte non sarà affatto quella che avevano sognato…
Continua sul nostro blog!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 275 reviews