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Me? Obey Him?: The Obedient Wife and God's Way of Happiness and Blessing in the Home
Elizabeth Rich Handford uses God's Word to present the reason for a wife's subjection to her husband. She shows how the husband and wife relationship is the foundation for a happy and godly home. And at the same time, she shows how a submissive wife is not an inferior partner.
126 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1972
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews
July 26, 2008
This was the first book I had ever read on being a Godly Woman. The hardest part in this feminist world today....submissiveness.
This is not so much a goal to be reached as it is a road decisively taken.
This is not so much a goal to be reached as it is a road decisively taken.
August 27, 2008
I hate this book. I think it's blasphemous. I read it only to be objective and contrast it with what the Bible ACTUALLY says about women and marriage. This woman is such a twit.
May 17, 2008
This was a good book for me to read. Learning to have my husband as the head of the house is something that I have to work on. :)
March 5, 2018
Me? Obey Him? was recommended to me by an older woman with a marriage to aspire to, so I thought it was worth reading.
I also read through some of the negative comments on goodreads, just to see what it is people hate about the book. I think it's interesting that so many of us (myself included) hear "obey your husband" and our mind immediately goes to potential exceptions to the rule. What if the husband beats his wife? What if her asks her to steal? What if he doesn't love her? What if he asks her to do something she is physically incapable of? And so on. Handford makes the valid point that even if these aberrant situations occur (which she argues they don't), they probably don't apply to the reader. In my opinion, it's possible that there are situations where a man might abuse his power in such a way that a Godly woman should not accept or allow, but the fact is, that's not the situation for most of us. My husband loves me, respects me, and consistently does what he thinks is best for our family, so even if there are exceptions to submission, I am not one of them. I think that is probably the case for most readers of this book. As Handford writes, "The overwhelming weight of Bible testimony about a wife's obedience is that God expects a woman to obey her husband cheerfully, immediately and without reservation." (pg 57). So let's just pump the breaks a bit before we throw up our arms and scream INJUSTICE! and think a minute about how Handford's advice might actually apply to us.
Handford's basic argument is that God will not put a wife in the position of having to make the choice between disobeying God and disobeying her husband, so long as she faithfully follows God and submits to her husband. Even if her husband does ask her to do something wrong or sinful, God will provide a way out (pg 37). She includes a handful of examples of this happening - some weaker than others, but certainly a variety of situations where this might occur. It's highly unlikely that my husband will ever ask me to do something illegal or immoral, but he certainly isn't impervious to making stupid decisions from time to time. Reading the book I thought of a quote I heard one time (which I will proceed to butcher, I'm sure) that "no bad decision your husband will ever make is too big for God to fix" ... or something like that. A wife isn't just blindly submitting to her husband, she is doing her part to follow God's model for biblical womanhood with the expectation that God will bridge any gap, blessing her efforts and working all things for her ultimate good.
That being said, I didn't love the book. I felt like 80% of it was arguing that there are no exceptions to the obedience command instead of offering more practical tips on submission. I thought the part about lesser and greater commands was confusing. Who decides which commands are greater or lesser? Some parts seemed a little extreme to me. The anecdotal stories could have been MUCH better. I think there are much better books out there on the subject of submission than this one - Love & Respect, The Meaning of Marriage, and Let Me Be a Woman, to name a few. My two star rating is not because I hate the idea of submission and think Handford is a heretic, but because the book itself just wasn't that good.
But the fact remains: the bible is clear that a wife ought to submit (obey) her husband. As Handford points out "if you choose which commands you will obey and which you don't obey, you aren't obeying at all - you are doing all the time what you decided to do!" (45). If exceptions exist to the biblical expectation of submission, my marriage is not one of them. So submit to him, I will. And hopefully thirty years from now I'll look back on a marriage as blessed as the marriages of those old ladies who love and recommend this book!
I also read through some of the negative comments on goodreads, just to see what it is people hate about the book. I think it's interesting that so many of us (myself included) hear "obey your husband" and our mind immediately goes to potential exceptions to the rule. What if the husband beats his wife? What if her asks her to steal? What if he doesn't love her? What if he asks her to do something she is physically incapable of? And so on. Handford makes the valid point that even if these aberrant situations occur (which she argues they don't), they probably don't apply to the reader. In my opinion, it's possible that there are situations where a man might abuse his power in such a way that a Godly woman should not accept or allow, but the fact is, that's not the situation for most of us. My husband loves me, respects me, and consistently does what he thinks is best for our family, so even if there are exceptions to submission, I am not one of them. I think that is probably the case for most readers of this book. As Handford writes, "The overwhelming weight of Bible testimony about a wife's obedience is that God expects a woman to obey her husband cheerfully, immediately and without reservation." (pg 57). So let's just pump the breaks a bit before we throw up our arms and scream INJUSTICE! and think a minute about how Handford's advice might actually apply to us.
Handford's basic argument is that God will not put a wife in the position of having to make the choice between disobeying God and disobeying her husband, so long as she faithfully follows God and submits to her husband. Even if her husband does ask her to do something wrong or sinful, God will provide a way out (pg 37). She includes a handful of examples of this happening - some weaker than others, but certainly a variety of situations where this might occur. It's highly unlikely that my husband will ever ask me to do something illegal or immoral, but he certainly isn't impervious to making stupid decisions from time to time. Reading the book I thought of a quote I heard one time (which I will proceed to butcher, I'm sure) that "no bad decision your husband will ever make is too big for God to fix" ... or something like that. A wife isn't just blindly submitting to her husband, she is doing her part to follow God's model for biblical womanhood with the expectation that God will bridge any gap, blessing her efforts and working all things for her ultimate good.
That being said, I didn't love the book. I felt like 80% of it was arguing that there are no exceptions to the obedience command instead of offering more practical tips on submission. I thought the part about lesser and greater commands was confusing. Who decides which commands are greater or lesser? Some parts seemed a little extreme to me. The anecdotal stories could have been MUCH better. I think there are much better books out there on the subject of submission than this one - Love & Respect, The Meaning of Marriage, and Let Me Be a Woman, to name a few. My two star rating is not because I hate the idea of submission and think Handford is a heretic, but because the book itself just wasn't that good.
But the fact remains: the bible is clear that a wife ought to submit (obey) her husband. As Handford points out "if you choose which commands you will obey and which you don't obey, you aren't obeying at all - you are doing all the time what you decided to do!" (45). If exceptions exist to the biblical expectation of submission, my marriage is not one of them. So submit to him, I will. And hopefully thirty years from now I'll look back on a marriage as blessed as the marriages of those old ladies who love and recommend this book!
May 30, 2017
The edition I read was copyrighted back in 1972, but even then, people were more forward-thinking than this author. I didn't actually buy the book...I found it thrown out among a number of others. It's only now that I took it off my bookshelf and read it. My feeling of it is that, unless you're a Southern Baptist woman from South Carolina, you'd probably want to burn this book at the stake before you're done reading it.
I read this book around the time "The Handmaid's Tale" was on Hulu. It's books like this and the people who write them that make the backdrop for such scenarios possible. I don't know why her husband, a pastor no less, would even want to let his wife do anything other than breed, raise the brood, and be the absolutely obedient household slave to her husband in every circumstance, let alone let her write a book on the subject. That would be a waste of time she could have spent more productively in the home. But here this book is, published and gone through more than one edition. Yet it's not just her Baptist church who believes that a woman's place is totally under her husband's authority...I had the dubious good fortune to attend a nondenominational church that later believed the same thing, and I had bad flashbacks while reading.
The problem...if you call it a problem...is that as much as this thin booklet uses logical reasons based on the Bible for advocating a woman's enslavement to her husband...believe it or not, the author didn't go far enough. If she really took Scripture's position on woman's servitude to her husband to the ultimate conclusion, she would discover that a woman is almost never truly a full adult...she's considered an eternal child, a girl, a slave, even human livestock, and therefore the property of the male head of the household, to be bought and sold to other eligible men almost at will...unless her husband dies for whatever reason. Then other rules come into play depending on the situation. Overall she's totally at a man's mercy, as is usually par for the course in almost any other major religion. She's never allowed to have a will of her own except by her father's and, later, her husbandman's permission. She's a complete dependent, expected to breed male heirs for the husband's side of the family. This is why a man wasn't condemned for having multiple wives and concubines, but if a woman was even raped, it was her fault for being used goods...she was an adulteress. So I discovered the Bible itself is far more commanding...demanding...in its expectations of a female than the author dares to speak of. She didn't cover her territory well enough.
It may be, as the author said, that she was raised to obey her husband as she would her own father, and even God the father himself, but I don't think anyone in her family contemplated just how far this actually goes in Scripture, let alone if she could truly comply to the point of seeing herself as a thing rather than a person, complete with long modest dresses (if her husband would let her have more than one) and with head coverings to wear both inside and outside the home (if her husband let her to go anywhere without him.) Since obedient submission to her husband means her being commanded to be an object rather than a person...and to delight in every second of it, would she go so far as to gladly set aside her own personhood to do it? She would probably say yes, only by the power of the Holy Spirit she could and would, quoting Scripture chapter-and-verse "for we live in the world but not of it," but I would also argue that she would also have to practically live in ancient Middle Eastern culture in order to accomplish this successfully, for she would be surrounded by a thousand and one reasons not to. She'd better have strong church community to help. (Of course anywhere else, she would be seen as part of a cult community, too.)
There are churches even now who practice what this author preaches...and thoroughly believe it. It's a very BDSM-kind of living any philosophy, let alone Christianity, but in it's strictest sense, it really is very biblical. That's why I have to say that Christianity is no place for a self-respecting female unless she's a natural-born submissive. It is very much a religion for men, with women being their property...less than second-class. It's a hardcore desert religion patterned mostly after corporate and military structures, with God as a seven-star general and commander-in-chief at the center. So of course this religion works better for men than it ever will for women. The male-ruled family is supposed to be run like a military organization...and according to Biblical standards, it's supposed to be an extended family institution, with women expected to bear as many sons as possible for the patriarchal side, as is her duty. An infertile female is considered extremely cursed...and in the Bible, she was usually mocked and made fun of by other women accordingly. I guess back then, a woman would rather die than to not be able to conceive. After all, she was bought to be breeding stock.
I waited for the author to address the issue of such things as wife-beating, overbreeding, and other kinds of personal abuse in her book, but alas, she never did. It's as if such things don't exist. (Hint: A woman is encouraged to stay in the marriage regardless, because "what God has joined together, let no man put asunder." In other words, God wills it.)
I'm not atheist. I'm not agnostic. I don't even consider myself a feminist. I'm just saying it as it is.
If you as a woman have the natural timidity and submissiveness to read this book and follow its instructions...and I do realize Scripture isn't as big on the natural as it is on the spiritual...awesome; be my guest. And I concede that there really are such females out there...for them to be any other way would be psychologically unhealthy. But for others, I suggest not to follow the usual cultural norms (for they're relatively the same both inside and outside Christianity...that women are expected to be obedient childlike subordinates), and instead read or watch The Handmaid's Tale. Because there are a lot of guys out there now that would love to see every woman be total slaves at their beck and call, no questions asked. And they would not be nice about it.
On that basis, I'd strongly suggest any female who has any degree of self-worth...just don't marry unless you *are* a natural submissive. It's a trap. No female has to have a gun to her head to marry simply because she was born with the "misfortune" of having emotions and a womb...both considered God's curses, especially the emotions. This is what Scripture says:
"To the woman he said: I will greatly multiply your sorrow *and* your conception: in pain you shall bring forth children: *your desire* shall be for your husband, and he shall *rule* over you." - Genesis 3:16, NKJV. (That might mean Eve was just as cerebral as Adam, the real image of God himself, before she was cursed. But make no mistake about it; she was still only a "helpmeet" before she got herself in trouble and got turned into a slave...therefore she was never really a complete person the way Adam was anyway. Nevertheless woman, being created from the body of the man rather than also created from the ground and personally given God's breath of life like the man was, was somehow suddenly seen as three times as evil as the man. Woman was cursed to be treated as God treats his demonic enemy...because she had verbal contact with...and "obeyed"...the enemy rather than Adam...and she was therefore subdued like the enemy, with Adam bearing God's image, having absolute control over her. Why? Because she rebelled, rather than perpetually obeyed what Adam told her what God's orders were. She broke the chain of command. Disobey God or God's image even once, and you're separated and condemned for the rest of your days. Brutal isn't it?)
Nor does she need to be the victim of a form of "shotgun wedding" arrangement, as if she has to be virtually handed over from her father's ownership to the groom's father's ownership, and finally to the possession of the groom himself, as is symbolically done in English royal wedding ceremonies...there is this thing called birth control, and whether she likes it or not, a female can make her own choices apart from men...even if it's not the traditional Christian thing to do.
But whatever the case, she should know even before dating, let alone marrying, that in a real biblical Christian marriage, the man, both the father and later, the husband, is the owner, and the woman is the owned...and so are the children that comes from the man's marriages (along with everything else in his household...he's not called a husband for nothing, as in "husband of the vineyard", "plant husbandry", "animal husbandry", "house husbandry", etc.)
If you're female, then whatever people try to tell you, marriage doesn't have to be your only practical destiny in life just because of what's inside the lower half of your body and the possibility of you getting pregnant. You do have more options besides two...marriage and destitution. Build up your own individuality, resources, and self-sufficiency before you end up totally dependent on a man for your personal health and wellbeing...and deeply regretting it. (I know that sounds blasphemous, but the other choice is the equivalent to actual captivity in this life.) For in the Christian sense, the earthly marriage is supposed to reflect the marriage between Christ and the Church...and not much of a good end comes to helpless spiritual virgins being married off to, and therefore owned by, a mighty spiritual warlord. Remember, God is called "The Lord of Hosts," meaning of Armies, much more often than he's called anything else...about two hundred and forty one times. Being called a God of Love is way down on the list of epithets...in other words, he's actually an angry God of War far more than a gentle God of Love. He's all about unconditional surrender...or else. So I personally doubt he greatly loves humans for any other reason beyond them being his favorite personal possessions...toys he has indeed conquered and took back from one of his rebel underlings.
In traditional Christianity, it really is 'til death-do-you-part...even if that means the wife's death.
But it's your decision.
I didn't mean to turn this review into a rebuttal, but there it is.
I read this book around the time "The Handmaid's Tale" was on Hulu. It's books like this and the people who write them that make the backdrop for such scenarios possible. I don't know why her husband, a pastor no less, would even want to let his wife do anything other than breed, raise the brood, and be the absolutely obedient household slave to her husband in every circumstance, let alone let her write a book on the subject. That would be a waste of time she could have spent more productively in the home. But here this book is, published and gone through more than one edition. Yet it's not just her Baptist church who believes that a woman's place is totally under her husband's authority...I had the dubious good fortune to attend a nondenominational church that later believed the same thing, and I had bad flashbacks while reading.
The problem...if you call it a problem...is that as much as this thin booklet uses logical reasons based on the Bible for advocating a woman's enslavement to her husband...believe it or not, the author didn't go far enough. If she really took Scripture's position on woman's servitude to her husband to the ultimate conclusion, she would discover that a woman is almost never truly a full adult...she's considered an eternal child, a girl, a slave, even human livestock, and therefore the property of the male head of the household, to be bought and sold to other eligible men almost at will...unless her husband dies for whatever reason. Then other rules come into play depending on the situation. Overall she's totally at a man's mercy, as is usually par for the course in almost any other major religion. She's never allowed to have a will of her own except by her father's and, later, her husbandman's permission. She's a complete dependent, expected to breed male heirs for the husband's side of the family. This is why a man wasn't condemned for having multiple wives and concubines, but if a woman was even raped, it was her fault for being used goods...she was an adulteress. So I discovered the Bible itself is far more commanding...demanding...in its expectations of a female than the author dares to speak of. She didn't cover her territory well enough.
It may be, as the author said, that she was raised to obey her husband as she would her own father, and even God the father himself, but I don't think anyone in her family contemplated just how far this actually goes in Scripture, let alone if she could truly comply to the point of seeing herself as a thing rather than a person, complete with long modest dresses (if her husband would let her have more than one) and with head coverings to wear both inside and outside the home (if her husband let her to go anywhere without him.) Since obedient submission to her husband means her being commanded to be an object rather than a person...and to delight in every second of it, would she go so far as to gladly set aside her own personhood to do it? She would probably say yes, only by the power of the Holy Spirit she could and would, quoting Scripture chapter-and-verse "for we live in the world but not of it," but I would also argue that she would also have to practically live in ancient Middle Eastern culture in order to accomplish this successfully, for she would be surrounded by a thousand and one reasons not to. She'd better have strong church community to help. (Of course anywhere else, she would be seen as part of a cult community, too.)
There are churches even now who practice what this author preaches...and thoroughly believe it. It's a very BDSM-kind of living any philosophy, let alone Christianity, but in it's strictest sense, it really is very biblical. That's why I have to say that Christianity is no place for a self-respecting female unless she's a natural-born submissive. It is very much a religion for men, with women being their property...less than second-class. It's a hardcore desert religion patterned mostly after corporate and military structures, with God as a seven-star general and commander-in-chief at the center. So of course this religion works better for men than it ever will for women. The male-ruled family is supposed to be run like a military organization...and according to Biblical standards, it's supposed to be an extended family institution, with women expected to bear as many sons as possible for the patriarchal side, as is her duty. An infertile female is considered extremely cursed...and in the Bible, she was usually mocked and made fun of by other women accordingly. I guess back then, a woman would rather die than to not be able to conceive. After all, she was bought to be breeding stock.
I waited for the author to address the issue of such things as wife-beating, overbreeding, and other kinds of personal abuse in her book, but alas, she never did. It's as if such things don't exist. (Hint: A woman is encouraged to stay in the marriage regardless, because "what God has joined together, let no man put asunder." In other words, God wills it.)
I'm not atheist. I'm not agnostic. I don't even consider myself a feminist. I'm just saying it as it is.
If you as a woman have the natural timidity and submissiveness to read this book and follow its instructions...and I do realize Scripture isn't as big on the natural as it is on the spiritual...awesome; be my guest. And I concede that there really are such females out there...for them to be any other way would be psychologically unhealthy. But for others, I suggest not to follow the usual cultural norms (for they're relatively the same both inside and outside Christianity...that women are expected to be obedient childlike subordinates), and instead read or watch The Handmaid's Tale. Because there are a lot of guys out there now that would love to see every woman be total slaves at their beck and call, no questions asked. And they would not be nice about it.
On that basis, I'd strongly suggest any female who has any degree of self-worth...just don't marry unless you *are* a natural submissive. It's a trap. No female has to have a gun to her head to marry simply because she was born with the "misfortune" of having emotions and a womb...both considered God's curses, especially the emotions. This is what Scripture says:
"To the woman he said: I will greatly multiply your sorrow *and* your conception: in pain you shall bring forth children: *your desire* shall be for your husband, and he shall *rule* over you." - Genesis 3:16, NKJV. (That might mean Eve was just as cerebral as Adam, the real image of God himself, before she was cursed. But make no mistake about it; she was still only a "helpmeet" before she got herself in trouble and got turned into a slave...therefore she was never really a complete person the way Adam was anyway. Nevertheless woman, being created from the body of the man rather than also created from the ground and personally given God's breath of life like the man was, was somehow suddenly seen as three times as evil as the man. Woman was cursed to be treated as God treats his demonic enemy...because she had verbal contact with...and "obeyed"...the enemy rather than Adam...and she was therefore subdued like the enemy, with Adam bearing God's image, having absolute control over her. Why? Because she rebelled, rather than perpetually obeyed what Adam told her what God's orders were. She broke the chain of command. Disobey God or God's image even once, and you're separated and condemned for the rest of your days. Brutal isn't it?)
Nor does she need to be the victim of a form of "shotgun wedding" arrangement, as if she has to be virtually handed over from her father's ownership to the groom's father's ownership, and finally to the possession of the groom himself, as is symbolically done in English royal wedding ceremonies...there is this thing called birth control, and whether she likes it or not, a female can make her own choices apart from men...even if it's not the traditional Christian thing to do.
But whatever the case, she should know even before dating, let alone marrying, that in a real biblical Christian marriage, the man, both the father and later, the husband, is the owner, and the woman is the owned...and so are the children that comes from the man's marriages (along with everything else in his household...he's not called a husband for nothing, as in "husband of the vineyard", "plant husbandry", "animal husbandry", "house husbandry", etc.)
If you're female, then whatever people try to tell you, marriage doesn't have to be your only practical destiny in life just because of what's inside the lower half of your body and the possibility of you getting pregnant. You do have more options besides two...marriage and destitution. Build up your own individuality, resources, and self-sufficiency before you end up totally dependent on a man for your personal health and wellbeing...and deeply regretting it. (I know that sounds blasphemous, but the other choice is the equivalent to actual captivity in this life.) For in the Christian sense, the earthly marriage is supposed to reflect the marriage between Christ and the Church...and not much of a good end comes to helpless spiritual virgins being married off to, and therefore owned by, a mighty spiritual warlord. Remember, God is called "The Lord of Hosts," meaning of Armies, much more often than he's called anything else...about two hundred and forty one times. Being called a God of Love is way down on the list of epithets...in other words, he's actually an angry God of War far more than a gentle God of Love. He's all about unconditional surrender...or else. So I personally doubt he greatly loves humans for any other reason beyond them being his favorite personal possessions...toys he has indeed conquered and took back from one of his rebel underlings.
In traditional Christianity, it really is 'til death-do-you-part...even if that means the wife's death.
But it's your decision.
I didn't mean to turn this review into a rebuttal, but there it is.
Want to Read
October 24, 2011You can't refute the enemy's lies unless you know what they are, so it's on my shelf to read. Not that the author or the women who agree with her are the enemy, but I certainly believe the enemy uses this garbage to deceive. I will with hold further scathing reviews until I have read it, but I have read enough excerpts to get the gist. Scary.
February 27, 2022
Terrible advice. Highly questionable theology. Hilarious to read.
July 18, 2012
Many men in my life have not kept their word, or have had selfish motives. I found it almost impossible to read. Every chapter I read, I got more and more angry. If you're wanting a no-holds-barred look at submission in the marriage relationship, then this book is for you. If you cannot trust men and you're not wanting to hear about submission straight out, I would try Love and Respect first.
July 9, 2009
Great book for those who getting married for the first time as well as those already in marriage it helps keep us grounded in the marriage the way God intended it to be.
June 12, 2014
Wow!! This is a book I will be passing on to new brides and older wives. It shows you exactly how a woman of God is to be toward their husband. I will read this one over and over again.
December 2, 2011
I thought this was a great book. It's an easy read and strictly biblical. I don't see where people are thinking there are inconsistencies in Handford's book. Everything I saw was sound doctrine, and easily applied to everyday situaions. Beyond the title, there is nothing sexist about this book. It's about our relationships and the woman's responsibility to God and her husband. There are plenty of responsibilities men have, that's just a different book :)
May 21, 2012
Thanks to this book, I was able to find FREEDOM in submission. Understanding my husband is accountable to God and not to me, has brought liberty to my thinking.
May 15, 2021
I'll just use a couple quotes.
"Suppose a woman feels God is leading her definitely opposite to what her husband has commanded. Whom should she obey? The Scriptures say a woman must ignore her 'feelings' about the will of God, and do what her husband says. She is to obey her husband as if he were God Himself. She Can be as certain of God's will, when her husband speaks, as if God had spoken audibly from Heaven."
"No, no man can make you happy, It is Jesus only, Himself alone, who will meet your deepest yearnings and longings. You must find your satisfaction in the Lord if you are going to be happy. You do not have right to expect your husband to make you happy."
"Unless there is obedience all of the time, there is no obedience any of the time."
"Women are more often led into spiritual error than men. Perhaps it is caused by her intuitive, emotional thinking."
"Evidently a woman's submission to her husband liberates her from a multitude of frustrating, binding problems and conflicts."
"Suppose a woman feels God is leading her definitely opposite to what her husband has commanded. Whom should she obey? The Scriptures say a woman must ignore her 'feelings' about the will of God, and do what her husband says. She is to obey her husband as if he were God Himself. She Can be as certain of God's will, when her husband speaks, as if God had spoken audibly from Heaven."
"No, no man can make you happy, It is Jesus only, Himself alone, who will meet your deepest yearnings and longings. You must find your satisfaction in the Lord if you are going to be happy. You do not have right to expect your husband to make you happy."
"Unless there is obedience all of the time, there is no obedience any of the time."
"Women are more often led into spiritual error than men. Perhaps it is caused by her intuitive, emotional thinking."
"Evidently a woman's submission to her husband liberates her from a multitude of frustrating, binding problems and conflicts."
Read
October 24, 2018I read this book over 25 years ago so I can’t remember specifics, but I’m sure it is biblical.
I have a father and a husband that are genuinely nice men and they don’t abuse this authority so obeying them is no big deal. They haven’t, aren’t, and won’t make unreasonable or repulsive demands.
I guess I’d have to say read this book “before” you marry, and make sure you marry someone that you can do this with, or stay single. Don’t marry a jerk in the first place.
I have a father and a husband that are genuinely nice men and they don’t abuse this authority so obeying them is no big deal. They haven’t, aren’t, and won’t make unreasonable or repulsive demands.
I guess I’d have to say read this book “before” you marry, and make sure you marry someone that you can do this with, or stay single. Don’t marry a jerk in the first place.
October 14, 2009
Good Book teaching biblical submission in marriage.
April 6, 2011
That God has a perfect plan for your marriage, Just follow HIS ways and He will take care of the rest!
November 15, 2019
Though sometimes difficult to "hear" this book imparts truth that I as a wife need to hear more often.
August 31, 2019
An excellent book on the obedience of God and the Bible and how by following His Word, you will find great blessings in your marriage. I, for one, can say that this book will hit a nerve, but if you truly trust God's Word and do what is commanded and obey your husband, you will find a happiness in your marriage you could not have imagined would be possible.
A must read for Christian married women or those that are planning on getting married in the near future.
A must read for Christian married women or those that are planning on getting married in the near future.
October 16, 2023
There were some questionable uses of scripture but overall I liked the book. It was an easy and quick read. I understood her arguments and I truly leaned a lot and I agree with much if not all of what she said. Was it hard to hear? Yes but as a single woman who hopes to be married one day I appreciate the wisdom I received from this book and I definitely think woman of god should read with and open mind and heart.
September 6, 2012
Read this years ago and although it would be way extreme by most, there are parts that were right on target for me at the time. I have kept this book over the years & take it out to peruse periodically.
August 3, 2021
I'd wanted to read this book for a number of years. Written in 1977, its still relevant for any woman who wants to be a Proverbs 31 wife. It's so encouraging and well written - and was well worth the wait. If you're a Christian- just read it with an open mind, and then practice it.
August 22, 2019
Very encouraging book.... makes you take a look at yourself..thru a different kind of perspective thoughts..
April 29, 2024
Best use for a bonfire
June 14, 2025
Although the author has some mis-conceptions about some things she believes about the Bible, her facts on how a REAL Christian wife is to submit to her husband is almost 100% right in my opinion. Not that I am perfect, but I have had 7 years of formal bible studies or training which is more than most pastors plus literally attending Church regularly over the past 70 plus years.
There are no Churches that I know of that teach the Bible (God's Inspired Words) 100% correctly. Example: Jesus Christ himself said that the only sign that he was the Messiah/Savior, he would be in the grave for 3 days AND 3 nights just as Jonah was in the fish for 3 days and 3 nights. There is no way over 90% of the so-called Christian Churches are teaching the truth on this issue. They disregard the truth that God also gave 7 Annual Sabbaths to Ancient Israel besides the Weekly Sabbath which by the way, if you look at ANY calendar is Saturday. In the year Jesus Christ died, the first Annual Sabbath (The First Day of The Days of Unleavened Bread) was on a Thursday. The Bible says that Jesus died in the late afternoon before the Sabbath but instead of the Weekly Sabbath of Saturday it was that Annual Sabbath. To find a Church that properly teaches this and many other Biblical Truths correctly you can go to UCG.org and it will explain these things fully and correctly. It isn't the only place but in this case they do a good job of explaining the truth and remember, God says to worship him in TRUTH!
Even though this book "Me? Obey Him?" isn't perfect, it is the closest to the truth of any of the other writings I have found on this subject. Faith without works is dead. 1I John 5:3 -"For this is the Love of God, that we keep his Commandments..." Notice it doesn't say to pick and choose which Commandments you are to keep like most people do.
There are no Churches that I know of that teach the Bible (God's Inspired Words) 100% correctly. Example: Jesus Christ himself said that the only sign that he was the Messiah/Savior, he would be in the grave for 3 days AND 3 nights just as Jonah was in the fish for 3 days and 3 nights. There is no way over 90% of the so-called Christian Churches are teaching the truth on this issue. They disregard the truth that God also gave 7 Annual Sabbaths to Ancient Israel besides the Weekly Sabbath which by the way, if you look at ANY calendar is Saturday. In the year Jesus Christ died, the first Annual Sabbath (The First Day of The Days of Unleavened Bread) was on a Thursday. The Bible says that Jesus died in the late afternoon before the Sabbath but instead of the Weekly Sabbath of Saturday it was that Annual Sabbath. To find a Church that properly teaches this and many other Biblical Truths correctly you can go to UCG.org and it will explain these things fully and correctly. It isn't the only place but in this case they do a good job of explaining the truth and remember, God says to worship him in TRUTH!
Even though this book "Me? Obey Him?" isn't perfect, it is the closest to the truth of any of the other writings I have found on this subject. Faith without works is dead. 1I John 5:3 -"For this is the Love of God, that we keep his Commandments..." Notice it doesn't say to pick and choose which Commandments you are to keep like most people do.
September 26, 2022
Dear Jesus, have mercy. This author advocates for complete dominion of a husband over a wife.
"The Scriptures say that a woman must ignore her 'feelings' about the will of God and do what her husband says. She can be certain of what God wants her to do, as if God had spoken audibly from Heaven!"
Yuck. I just threw up a little in my mouth.
This teaching is completely unbiblical and is more like Pharaoh controlling the children of Israel instead of godly husband-wife partnership.
This kind of teaching results in abuse and control. Run fast and run far from this. 1/5 stars.
Disclaimer: I only read a few excerpts of this book. That was enough to know that I could not stomach any more.
"The Scriptures say that a woman must ignore her 'feelings' about the will of God and do what her husband says. She can be certain of what God wants her to do, as if God had spoken audibly from Heaven!"
Yuck. I just threw up a little in my mouth.
This teaching is completely unbiblical and is more like Pharaoh controlling the children of Israel instead of godly husband-wife partnership.
This kind of teaching results in abuse and control. Run fast and run far from this. 1/5 stars.
Disclaimer: I only read a few excerpts of this book. That was enough to know that I could not stomach any more.
October 25, 2022
Harmful and toxic teaching that can all too easily lead women to stay in abusive relationships and marriages. As a Jesus lover, when you've got just 2 people in your marriage, and 1 Holy Spirit, you should be able to make decisions together in mutual love and respect. Don't short-circuit communication in your marriage by defaulting to having a "tie-breaker". Instead, TALK more together, pray more, and seek Godly counsel.
December 12, 2023
We don't sin in a vacuum, we don't obey God in a vacuum either. Our submission to God through our submission to our husband brings fruitful sanctification.
The criticisms of the command to obey your husband (without exception) says more about how disobedient you are than how reasonable you consider yourself to be.
This is a small booklet- the vast majority of books I read should be this length.
The criticisms of the command to obey your husband (without exception) says more about how disobedient you are than how reasonable you consider yourself to be.
This is a small booklet- the vast majority of books I read should be this length.
October 27, 2017
Nothing suprising here; just a convenient concentration of the basic Biblical teaching in 95 pages. Could have been written in 50 pages.
Comment on a woman's liberty to divorce in the case of adultry or abandonment would have been helpful, but divorce is overlooked by the author; in fact, a careless use of the word 'torture' on page 39 might imply that the author denies that liberty.
Comment on a woman's liberty to divorce in the case of adultry or abandonment would have been helpful, but divorce is overlooked by the author; in fact, a careless use of the word 'torture' on page 39 might imply that the author denies that liberty.
September 16, 2025
The title suits the way the book has been written. Quite harmful outdated advice on some pages, I only found the last couple chapters helpful. I suggest just reading the bible for counsel on marriage :)
September 22, 2020
Glad I bought this years ago when I saw it. Have never seen it since.
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