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No quiero ser mamá
A veces en clave de humor y otras con un tono más reflexivo e introspectivo. Relata las experiencias que encuentra la protagonista frente a su decisión de no ser madre y vivimos con ella las más variopintos reacciones y desafíos que puede enfrentar una mujer que toma la misma decisión.
112 pages, Paperback
Published March 2, 2020
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November 15, 2023
In a Nutshell: A graphical memoir from the ‘other’ point of view – a woman who doesn’t wish to be a mom. Interesting content, though I expected it to be more compelling.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am a mother to two lovely girls, being a parent by my choice and not by societal or cultural requirements, and I haven’t ever regretted it. But I have many close friends who have voluntarily decided not to have kids, for various reasons. I know how much familial flak they have faced over this “unnatural” choice. I picked this memoir to see if the criticism and the pressure is similar in European countries. Surprise, surprise! It is!
It seems tough for much of the general populace to accept that a woman is complete by herself. That she doesn’t need to become a mother to “fulfil her womanhood.” That a perfect marriage needn’t have children. There is a constant pressure, either societal or cultural, to have a child, especially once a woman is in a stable relationship and is old enough to have her “biological clock ticking away.’ This memoir depicts the mental stress of one such woman, who feels like the odd one out simply because she has no wish to rear children and everyone around her talks of no other topic.
Written in the first person perspective of author Irene Olmo, this graphic novel begins with her at age 6, doing everything little girls are supposed to do - loving her dolls and pretending they are her babies. This fascination with becoming a mom someday continues till middle school. But when one of her best friends becomes pregnant at age thirteen, and the homeroom teacher decides to have a debate over abortion in class, Irene is forced to open her eyes to the other half of the picture. This formative incident is the first in the step of many that makes her decide not to become a mother, ever. But does society allow a woman such a choice without judgemental remarks?
This bande dessinée was originally published in French in March 2020 under the title ‘Je ne veux pas être maman.’ This English language translation is due to be published in November 2023.
I liked how the author showed her growth, both literally over the years as well figuratively in her thinking. Her arguments, her frustration and her helplessness come out well. A woman not wanting motherhood – this is a voice we hardly ever heard about, so to see someone’s innermost honest thoughts over this topic is a novel experience.
I also loved how the author emphasised that she has no problem with other women opting for motherhood, and similarly, others should have no problem if she chooses to stay away from pregnancy and parenting, for whatever reasons. ‘To each, their own’ is a good policy for everyone to adopt.
The book also depicts the differences between the consequences of becoming parents on a man and a woman, personally and professionally. It also highlights how a woman might sometimes want to be a mother but can’t, and how probing personal enquiries about when she ‘plans to start a family’ can end up as a traumatising experience.
However, as is often the case in a memoir, the portrayal of the ‘truth’ is somewhat one-sided and extreme. I found it tough to accept that every single woman the author interacted with had only babies and motherhood in mind. Did no woman ever talk about career? Education? Boyfriends and husbands? Other friends? Office bosses and colleagues? The portrayal of the other women is mostly unidimensional and this brought down the realism of this memoir in my eyes. The text sometimes ends up doing exactly what it is so opposed to – judging others for their parenting choices, though the author makes amends for this at the end.
The book is strictly a personal narration and not a manifesto in favour of choosing a lifestyle without kids, so it has more of a coming-of-age feel than a serious discussion on the merits or demerits of choosing to have/not have kids.
Moreover, as it is a first person narrative, it focusses so heavily inward that it forgets to provide us some crucial outward details. For instance, she is in a steady relationship. So how did her boyfriend accept her decision? Was it mutual, or did he argue against the idea? Did it affect the harmony of their relationship? External influences play a varying role, depending on whether they come from your own family or your other half or from friends, or strangers. So her relationship definitely needed greater mention in this novel.
The conclusion of the book, containing the author’s suggestions for those like her, is the best part of this memoir, though most of the advice isn’t really unexpectedly mindblowing counsel but more of common-sense-based guidelines. Still, it has some practical instructions for those struggling with the same condemnation.
It’s a fact that condemning comments aren’t aimed only at women who don’t want to become mothers. Becoming a mother doesn’t stop society from passing judgemental remarks against you; it’s just that the nature of the barbs changes. All women face some or the other kind of shaming, and with time, we are forced to grow a thick skin for the sake of our own sanity. I wish the author had realised this sooner; it would have saved her a lot of stress. But I am glad she brings this point up in her conclusion, and highlights the importance of unanimity across women irrespective of their life choices.
The illustrations are quite good, though a bit too cutesy for such an emotional and serious topic.
Definitely recommended to everyone, but especially to those who don’t want kids so that they may find some solidarity in the author’s thoughts, as well as to those who already have kids to see the grass from the other side of the fence and hopefully, tone down the ‘mothering’ demands.
3.5 stars, rounding up for the novelty of theme.
My thanks to Graphic Mundi - PSU Press and Edelweiss+ for the DRC of “I Don't Want to Be a Mom”. This review is voluntary and contains my honest opinion about the book.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Connect with me through:
My Blog | The StoryGraph | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am a mother to two lovely girls, being a parent by my choice and not by societal or cultural requirements, and I haven’t ever regretted it. But I have many close friends who have voluntarily decided not to have kids, for various reasons. I know how much familial flak they have faced over this “unnatural” choice. I picked this memoir to see if the criticism and the pressure is similar in European countries. Surprise, surprise! It is!
It seems tough for much of the general populace to accept that a woman is complete by herself. That she doesn’t need to become a mother to “fulfil her womanhood.” That a perfect marriage needn’t have children. There is a constant pressure, either societal or cultural, to have a child, especially once a woman is in a stable relationship and is old enough to have her “biological clock ticking away.’ This memoir depicts the mental stress of one such woman, who feels like the odd one out simply because she has no wish to rear children and everyone around her talks of no other topic.
Written in the first person perspective of author Irene Olmo, this graphic novel begins with her at age 6, doing everything little girls are supposed to do - loving her dolls and pretending they are her babies. This fascination with becoming a mom someday continues till middle school. But when one of her best friends becomes pregnant at age thirteen, and the homeroom teacher decides to have a debate over abortion in class, Irene is forced to open her eyes to the other half of the picture. This formative incident is the first in the step of many that makes her decide not to become a mother, ever. But does society allow a woman such a choice without judgemental remarks?
This bande dessinée was originally published in French in March 2020 under the title ‘Je ne veux pas être maman.’ This English language translation is due to be published in November 2023.
I liked how the author showed her growth, both literally over the years as well figuratively in her thinking. Her arguments, her frustration and her helplessness come out well. A woman not wanting motherhood – this is a voice we hardly ever heard about, so to see someone’s innermost honest thoughts over this topic is a novel experience.
I also loved how the author emphasised that she has no problem with other women opting for motherhood, and similarly, others should have no problem if she chooses to stay away from pregnancy and parenting, for whatever reasons. ‘To each, their own’ is a good policy for everyone to adopt.
The book also depicts the differences between the consequences of becoming parents on a man and a woman, personally and professionally. It also highlights how a woman might sometimes want to be a mother but can’t, and how probing personal enquiries about when she ‘plans to start a family’ can end up as a traumatising experience.
However, as is often the case in a memoir, the portrayal of the ‘truth’ is somewhat one-sided and extreme. I found it tough to accept that every single woman the author interacted with had only babies and motherhood in mind. Did no woman ever talk about career? Education? Boyfriends and husbands? Other friends? Office bosses and colleagues? The portrayal of the other women is mostly unidimensional and this brought down the realism of this memoir in my eyes. The text sometimes ends up doing exactly what it is so opposed to – judging others for their parenting choices, though the author makes amends for this at the end.
The book is strictly a personal narration and not a manifesto in favour of choosing a lifestyle without kids, so it has more of a coming-of-age feel than a serious discussion on the merits or demerits of choosing to have/not have kids.
Moreover, as it is a first person narrative, it focusses so heavily inward that it forgets to provide us some crucial outward details. For instance, she is in a steady relationship. So how did her boyfriend accept her decision? Was it mutual, or did he argue against the idea? Did it affect the harmony of their relationship? External influences play a varying role, depending on whether they come from your own family or your other half or from friends, or strangers. So her relationship definitely needed greater mention in this novel.
The conclusion of the book, containing the author’s suggestions for those like her, is the best part of this memoir, though most of the advice isn’t really unexpectedly mindblowing counsel but more of common-sense-based guidelines. Still, it has some practical instructions for those struggling with the same condemnation.
It’s a fact that condemning comments aren’t aimed only at women who don’t want to become mothers. Becoming a mother doesn’t stop society from passing judgemental remarks against you; it’s just that the nature of the barbs changes. All women face some or the other kind of shaming, and with time, we are forced to grow a thick skin for the sake of our own sanity. I wish the author had realised this sooner; it would have saved her a lot of stress. But I am glad she brings this point up in her conclusion, and highlights the importance of unanimity across women irrespective of their life choices.
The illustrations are quite good, though a bit too cutesy for such an emotional and serious topic.
Definitely recommended to everyone, but especially to those who don’t want kids so that they may find some solidarity in the author’s thoughts, as well as to those who already have kids to see the grass from the other side of the fence and hopefully, tone down the ‘mothering’ demands.
3.5 stars, rounding up for the novelty of theme.
My thanks to Graphic Mundi - PSU Press and Edelweiss+ for the DRC of “I Don't Want to Be a Mom”. This review is voluntary and contains my honest opinion about the book.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Connect with me through:
My Blog | The StoryGraph | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter
August 21, 2020
Ça sent le vécu pour moi! Je suis plus vieille maintenant alors on me fiche la paix (avec parfois un peu de pitié dans le regard) mais j'ai beaucoup aimé cette représentation de mon "anomalie"! Les dessin me plaît en plus.
October 26, 2024
A Spanish woman pushes back against all the people, arguments, and societal expectations that buffet and bully her constantly for her choice to be child-free.
She harbors a lot of anger throughout her journey but works her way toward a place of self-acceptance and empowerment.
She harbors a lot of anger throughout her journey but works her way toward a place of self-acceptance and empowerment.
February 14, 2021
j’ai eu la chance que ma décision n’a pas fait réagir mes proches comme l’héroïne de cette bd. par contre, combien de fois des gens que je connaissais peu m’ont sortis des phrases tellement creuses et blessantes. heureusement, mes amies et leurs enfants,(tellement merveilleux et à l’image des parents) me fond sentir bien quand je suis entourée d’eux... avec mes pas d’enfants. j’ai adoré les illustrations particulièrement la finale.
July 13, 2024
felt like a warm and reassuring hug. i am someone who knows they don't want kids and felt a lot of the same emotions as the author and it just validated all of them.
March 1, 2020
En cuanto vi este cómic en la librería, tuve que comprarlo. No solo me atrajo el bonito dibujo, sino, sobre todo, el título. Resulta difícil encontrar obras literarias que traten un tema que aún a día de hoy, en pleno siglo XXI, sigue siendo tabú y creando controversia.
Esta obra narra gráficamente la vida de la protagonista desde que es pequeña y nos muestra cómo la maternidad está presente en cada etapa de la vida de una mujer. Según va creciendo, vemos cómo va evolucionando su pensamiento sobre el tema y sus debates internos expresados en forma de monólogo interior, que contraponen lo que ella quiere y lo que la sociedad espera de ella. Resulta muy duro e injusto ver toda la presión a la que es sometida nuestra protagonista, incluso por su parte. Sin embargo, también es gratificante descubrir cómo hay gente que cuestiona toda la presión social que recibimos las mujeres relacionada con la maternidad. Mi más sincera enhorabuena a Irene Olmo por haber sido valiente y haber creado este cómic.
El dibujo es sencillamente maravilloso. Cada personaje es diferente aunque el trazo (obviamente) se parezca. Además, la edición me parece preciosa, con esa mezcla de personajes y naturaleza. Muy bonito.
Lo recomiendo muchísimo, no solo a las mujeres que se sientan identificadas con el título, sino a todas aquellas personas que quieran abrir su mente a los diferentes argumentos a favor y en contra de la maternidad y ver la descomunal presión social que se sigue ejerciendo sobre las mujeres para ser madres.
Esta obra narra gráficamente la vida de la protagonista desde que es pequeña y nos muestra cómo la maternidad está presente en cada etapa de la vida de una mujer. Según va creciendo, vemos cómo va evolucionando su pensamiento sobre el tema y sus debates internos expresados en forma de monólogo interior, que contraponen lo que ella quiere y lo que la sociedad espera de ella. Resulta muy duro e injusto ver toda la presión a la que es sometida nuestra protagonista, incluso por su parte. Sin embargo, también es gratificante descubrir cómo hay gente que cuestiona toda la presión social que recibimos las mujeres relacionada con la maternidad. Mi más sincera enhorabuena a Irene Olmo por haber sido valiente y haber creado este cómic.
El dibujo es sencillamente maravilloso. Cada personaje es diferente aunque el trazo (obviamente) se parezca. Además, la edición me parece preciosa, con esa mezcla de personajes y naturaleza. Muy bonito.
Lo recomiendo muchísimo, no solo a las mujeres que se sientan identificadas con el título, sino a todas aquellas personas que quieran abrir su mente a los diferentes argumentos a favor y en contra de la maternidad y ver la descomunal presión social que se sigue ejerciendo sobre las mujeres para ser madres.
September 25, 2020
4,25 en realidad.
-
“No quiero ser mamá” es un libro con el que se puede aprender y reflexionar sobre las diferentes formas de vivir la vida, siendo todas perfectamente válidas.
-
En esta novela conocemos toda la historia de nuestra protagonista quien desde que era pequeña ha tenido la idea de que ser madre era su futuro. Una niña que jugaba con sus hermanas a cuidar a sus bebés, y a quien siempre le regalaban muñecos para cuidar por navidades. Y según va creciendo va descubriendo sus prioridades y dándose cuenta de que quizás ser madre no es lo que quiere.
Siendo sincera, no esperaba que esta novela gráfica me gustara tanto como lo ha hecho. Sabía que me iba a encontrar con una historia como esta, pero no como era. No sé si me explico. Creo que el hecho de que sea una novela gráfica ayuda mucho a que el mensaje de la novela sea muy claro. Además, creo que tiene la longitud justa para no saturar, ya que como os digo es una novela que trata solo un tema y, por lo tanto, si tiene muchas páginas podría llegar a resultar tedioso. Pero, esta longitud me ha parecido perfecta. Además, a pesar de ser una novela gráfica, se puede considerar que tiene bastante texto por lo que podemos entender mejor el punto de vista de la protagonista.
Creo que lo mejor de este libro es como consigue que como lector te impliques y te cuestiones las cosas. Más allá del hecho de que una mujer decida no ser madre, lo que es totalmente válido, para mí lo más llamativo ha sido darme cuenta de la clase de situaciones que viven socialmente esas personas. Y como la sociedad no está preparada para mujeres que no quieran tener hijos, y por lo tanto el estigma social que tienen que soportar. Para mí ha sido un choque de realidad en ese sentido, porque no era consciente de que había tanto estigma. Así que para mí ha sido la mejor parte, creo que cuando un libro te puede enseñar algo entonces merece la pena leerlo. Y por eso os animo a todos a darle una oportunidad, primero para entender otro punto de vista sobre la maternidad, y luego también para poder ver como esa situación está comprendida en la sociedad.
-
Foto del libro: https://www.instagram.com/p/CFiA3nUFnjd/
-
“No quiero ser mamá” es un libro con el que se puede aprender y reflexionar sobre las diferentes formas de vivir la vida, siendo todas perfectamente válidas.
-
En esta novela conocemos toda la historia de nuestra protagonista quien desde que era pequeña ha tenido la idea de que ser madre era su futuro. Una niña que jugaba con sus hermanas a cuidar a sus bebés, y a quien siempre le regalaban muñecos para cuidar por navidades. Y según va creciendo va descubriendo sus prioridades y dándose cuenta de que quizás ser madre no es lo que quiere.
Siendo sincera, no esperaba que esta novela gráfica me gustara tanto como lo ha hecho. Sabía que me iba a encontrar con una historia como esta, pero no como era. No sé si me explico. Creo que el hecho de que sea una novela gráfica ayuda mucho a que el mensaje de la novela sea muy claro. Además, creo que tiene la longitud justa para no saturar, ya que como os digo es una novela que trata solo un tema y, por lo tanto, si tiene muchas páginas podría llegar a resultar tedioso. Pero, esta longitud me ha parecido perfecta. Además, a pesar de ser una novela gráfica, se puede considerar que tiene bastante texto por lo que podemos entender mejor el punto de vista de la protagonista.
Creo que lo mejor de este libro es como consigue que como lector te impliques y te cuestiones las cosas. Más allá del hecho de que una mujer decida no ser madre, lo que es totalmente válido, para mí lo más llamativo ha sido darme cuenta de la clase de situaciones que viven socialmente esas personas. Y como la sociedad no está preparada para mujeres que no quieran tener hijos, y por lo tanto el estigma social que tienen que soportar. Para mí ha sido un choque de realidad en ese sentido, porque no era consciente de que había tanto estigma. Así que para mí ha sido la mejor parte, creo que cuando un libro te puede enseñar algo entonces merece la pena leerlo. Y por eso os animo a todos a darle una oportunidad, primero para entender otro punto de vista sobre la maternidad, y luego también para poder ver como esa situación está comprendida en la sociedad.
-
Foto del libro: https://www.instagram.com/p/CFiA3nUFnjd/
January 5, 2021
Quelle joie de tomber sur ce graphique tout pile quand j'en ai le plus besoin ! JE NE VEUX PAS ÊTRE MAMAN est un roman graphique, ultra déculpabilisant, sur le choix assez mal vu de ne pas avoir/vouloir d'enfants dans un monde où avoir des gamins est devenu une norme. Le passage à la trentaine est à priori plus visée ici mais je m'y suis identifiée également car le fait d'être un couple posé depuis longtemps, même plus jeune, peut aussi largement créer ce genre d'attentes chez la famille et les amis. Irène Olmo explique, avec un discours qui résonne de toute sa force en moi, comment après qu'on lui ai inculqué très jeune qu'il fallait avoir des enfants pour être accompli dans la vie, elle a fini par reléguer ce choix aux oubliettes. Le fait de l'annoncer n'est pas une invitation à débattre de ce choix. C'est un fait que tout un chacun devrait avoir honte d'essayer de faire changer.
L'idée ici est de faire comprendre aux femmes qui ont pris la décision de ne pas devenir mère, que c'est ok. Vous n'êtes ni égoïste, ni aigrie, ni faible. Vous êtes fortes d'avoir survécu à une pression sociale qui soit disant vous veux du bien. Suivez vos convictions, embrassez les avantages d'être libre et indépendante. Vous méritez la vie que vous vous choisissez si elle vous fait du bien.
Dans un élan plus global, lâchons nous la grappe et lâchons la grappe aux gens, chacun sa vie. On ne sait jamais ce qu'il se passe derrière ce choix qui n'en peut-être même pas un. Il est inconvenant de demander "c'est pour quand ?" ou "à quand le 2,3 4ème ?". Il est inconvenant de dire "l'horloge tourne" ou "tu es égoïste". Ne jugeons pas car nous ne savons pas, point barre.
En marge à la toute fin, l'autrice conclut son cheminement sur la question de la maternité en abordant les soucis qui vont souvent de paire avec le fait de devenir mère, à savoir la charge émotionnelle et la charge mentale, avec une pointe de critique féministe qui tient du génie. Je conseille ce graphique à tous femmes et hommes, mère ou non, afin de se mettre pour une fois dans les baskets de l'autre et si ce n'est d'accepter, au moins de comprendre les motivations de chacune.
L'idée ici est de faire comprendre aux femmes qui ont pris la décision de ne pas devenir mère, que c'est ok. Vous n'êtes ni égoïste, ni aigrie, ni faible. Vous êtes fortes d'avoir survécu à une pression sociale qui soit disant vous veux du bien. Suivez vos convictions, embrassez les avantages d'être libre et indépendante. Vous méritez la vie que vous vous choisissez si elle vous fait du bien.
Dans un élan plus global, lâchons nous la grappe et lâchons la grappe aux gens, chacun sa vie. On ne sait jamais ce qu'il se passe derrière ce choix qui n'en peut-être même pas un. Il est inconvenant de demander "c'est pour quand ?" ou "à quand le 2,3 4ème ?". Il est inconvenant de dire "l'horloge tourne" ou "tu es égoïste". Ne jugeons pas car nous ne savons pas, point barre.
En marge à la toute fin, l'autrice conclut son cheminement sur la question de la maternité en abordant les soucis qui vont souvent de paire avec le fait de devenir mère, à savoir la charge émotionnelle et la charge mentale, avec une pointe de critique féministe qui tient du génie. Je conseille ce graphique à tous femmes et hommes, mère ou non, afin de se mettre pour une fois dans les baskets de l'autre et si ce n'est d'accepter, au moins de comprendre les motivations de chacune.
October 25, 2023
This was a pretty solid read for me. As a child-free person, I felt seen in most of these pages. I’m tired of rolling my eyes at people who don’t understand having children is not a goal nor an accomplishment.
Actually, they always think something wrong with us when we make the decision of not becoming parents. And believe me, I’ve known I was never going to have kids since I was a teenager. Yet people started making assumptions or commenting on why I should, even if I wasn’t mentally or physically prepared.
I also felt the pressure from my parents but since I have a chaotic and strong personality, I think they finally understood I’m just not a regular person and that I have autonomy and of course, that I can make my own decisions –with its consequences.
"I don’t know what the future has in store for me...But I do know that we all come to the same end. When that moment arrives, I hope to have lived the life I chose for myself and not the one that others wanted for me."
I don’t know much about been an “adult” –I mean, I still feel young and with a lot of things left to do instead of just getting married, have a house and kids and all. The picture of a “perfect life” always seemed so weird to me. I want stability yes, I want a healthy life, of course, but having kids would only make my life miserable.
This comic also questions the “value of being a woman”, as if bearing children would be the ultimate goal, when it’s not. We all have different dreams and expectations of our own. Happiness and success looks different for every single person. At least we should understand everybody goes at their own pace, making small or big steps towards a goal, whatever it is.
I absolutely recommend this comic to anyone who is questioning themselves about being child free or having kids. If you don’t feel prepared nor want to make that life-changing decision, believe me when I tell you, you’re not the only one.
I received an e-book ARC in exchange for my review via Diamond Comic Distributors.
Actually, they always think something wrong with us when we make the decision of not becoming parents. And believe me, I’ve known I was never going to have kids since I was a teenager. Yet people started making assumptions or commenting on why I should, even if I wasn’t mentally or physically prepared.
I also felt the pressure from my parents but since I have a chaotic and strong personality, I think they finally understood I’m just not a regular person and that I have autonomy and of course, that I can make my own decisions –with its consequences.
"I don’t know what the future has in store for me...But I do know that we all come to the same end. When that moment arrives, I hope to have lived the life I chose for myself and not the one that others wanted for me."
I don’t know much about been an “adult” –I mean, I still feel young and with a lot of things left to do instead of just getting married, have a house and kids and all. The picture of a “perfect life” always seemed so weird to me. I want stability yes, I want a healthy life, of course, but having kids would only make my life miserable.
This comic also questions the “value of being a woman”, as if bearing children would be the ultimate goal, when it’s not. We all have different dreams and expectations of our own. Happiness and success looks different for every single person. At least we should understand everybody goes at their own pace, making small or big steps towards a goal, whatever it is.
I absolutely recommend this comic to anyone who is questioning themselves about being child free or having kids. If you don’t feel prepared nor want to make that life-changing decision, believe me when I tell you, you’re not the only one.
I received an e-book ARC in exchange for my review via Diamond Comic Distributors.
December 21, 2020
En cuanto leí el titulo de este cómic “No quiero ser mamá” supe que estaba hecho para mí.
Leyéndolo me he reído, me he indignado, me he entristecido y sobre todo me he sentido identificada con algunas situaciones, y en este libro se plasman otras experiencias que, aunque no las haya vivido aún, es bastante probable que algún día lo haga.
Me encanta que este libro haya salido a la luz, me parece importante que se visibilice a las mujeres que no deseamos ser madres y también que se muestre de forma clara, como hace este libro, la cantidad de juicios sociales y morales que tenemos que aguantar cuando decimos en público que no queremos tener hijos.
Tener hijos o no tenerlos son dos opciones completamente válidas y no deberían ser juzgadas.
Este libro lo recomendaría a cualquiera, mujer u hombre, tanto si desea alguien tener hijos como si no, aunque ya tenga descendencia, da igual, le recomiendo este libro a todo el mundo, solo para aprender y darnos cuenta de que hay más realidades, no solo la que nos impone la sociedad.
Leyéndolo me he reído, me he indignado, me he entristecido y sobre todo me he sentido identificada con algunas situaciones, y en este libro se plasman otras experiencias que, aunque no las haya vivido aún, es bastante probable que algún día lo haga.
Me encanta que este libro haya salido a la luz, me parece importante que se visibilice a las mujeres que no deseamos ser madres y también que se muestre de forma clara, como hace este libro, la cantidad de juicios sociales y morales que tenemos que aguantar cuando decimos en público que no queremos tener hijos.
Tener hijos o no tenerlos son dos opciones completamente válidas y no deberían ser juzgadas.
Este libro lo recomendaría a cualquiera, mujer u hombre, tanto si desea alguien tener hijos como si no, aunque ya tenga descendencia, da igual, le recomiendo este libro a todo el mundo, solo para aprender y darnos cuenta de que hay más realidades, no solo la que nos impone la sociedad.
April 6, 2025
(4.4) This work offers a sounding board for a growing number of woman who are choosing to be child free .. but not at the expense of vilifying current mothers . Despite differing opinions , child free woman are still perceived negatively within a patriarchal society. The “childlike” artwork helps the reader better navigate these heady waters into an uncertain future — that may or may not be accompanied by the presence of a child.
March 3, 2020
Novela gráfica bastante interesante, sobre todo por las situaciones que describe la autora, que no lo ha tenido que pasar nada bien viviendolas.
Coincido prácticamente en todos los aspectos que expone en sus bonitas viñetas, ya que muchas veces la presión a la que se somete a las mujeres es excesiva en este tema, y parece que poco a poco se va perdiendo ese "miedo" a poder decir libremente que no quieres tener hijos.
Coincido prácticamente en todos los aspectos que expone en sus bonitas viñetas, ya que muchas veces la presión a la que se somete a las mujeres es excesiva en este tema, y parece que poco a poco se va perdiendo ese "miedo" a poder decir libremente que no quieres tener hijos.
April 3, 2024
Translated by Kendra Boileau.
Would have loved to have read this graphic memoir in my twenties. I also really liked the illustration style. If you are a woman who is childfree by choice you know of what she speaks.
Would have loved to have read this graphic memoir in my twenties. I also really liked the illustration style. If you are a woman who is childfree by choice you know of what she speaks.
September 15, 2020
4/5
Un dibujo precioso y una historia que debería ser leída por todo el mundo. Te hace reflexionar de una manera brutal.
Un dibujo precioso y una historia que debería ser leída por todo el mundo. Te hace reflexionar de una manera brutal.
April 18, 2024
“It didn’t matter what I said. The data existed, and as a result they treated me with unbearable condescension.”
It’s incredible to think, that even in the third decade of the 21st century how many people still believe that a woman’s sole or primary purpose of her existence is to propagate the species and if she doesn’t embrace that role, for whatever reason, she is somehow deemed lesser, deficient or lacking. It also never ceases to amaze me how crass and insensitive people (of both or should that be all sexes?) are in relation to childless women of a certain age too. After all there are certainly countless women out there who really shouldn’t have become parents at all.
“I was exasperated by the way goodness and generosity were associated with women who wanted to be mothers, while selfishness and coldness were associated with those who didn’t.”
With her quirky, quality drawing coupled with some really nice choices in the colouring and a really well-written story, Olmo’s clearly a bit of a talent. She’s done something which always seems easy when it’s done correctly and that’s the length, she got that spot on, she managed to make a lot of great points without digressing and this never felt too long-winded or self-indulgent, a really enjoyable read, which left you wanting just that little bit more.
It’s incredible to think, that even in the third decade of the 21st century how many people still believe that a woman’s sole or primary purpose of her existence is to propagate the species and if she doesn’t embrace that role, for whatever reason, she is somehow deemed lesser, deficient or lacking. It also never ceases to amaze me how crass and insensitive people (of both or should that be all sexes?) are in relation to childless women of a certain age too. After all there are certainly countless women out there who really shouldn’t have become parents at all.
“I was exasperated by the way goodness and generosity were associated with women who wanted to be mothers, while selfishness and coldness were associated with those who didn’t.”
With her quirky, quality drawing coupled with some really nice choices in the colouring and a really well-written story, Olmo’s clearly a bit of a talent. She’s done something which always seems easy when it’s done correctly and that’s the length, she got that spot on, she managed to make a lot of great points without digressing and this never felt too long-winded or self-indulgent, a really enjoyable read, which left you wanting just that little bit more.
April 4, 2024
3.5 stars
January 10, 2021
Une bande dessinée vraiment chouette, qui raconte le parcours de l’auteur Irène qui ne veut pas d'enfant.
Elle aborde la pression familiale, la pression sociale, et puis sa prise de conscience à elle.
Comment se rebeller contre les dictats et préjugés ?
Et ce avec beaucoup d'empathie pour celles qui participent à cette pression sociale. Celles qui refusent de comprendre ce choix, et qui argumentent contre. Pourquoi finalement ces arguments ? Ça fait du bien aussi de se poser cette question ! Ça aide à supporter ces discussions plus facilement.
Cette histoire raisonne en moi, elle est à lire absolument !
Elle aborde la pression familiale, la pression sociale, et puis sa prise de conscience à elle.
Comment se rebeller contre les dictats et préjugés ?
Et ce avec beaucoup d'empathie pour celles qui participent à cette pression sociale. Celles qui refusent de comprendre ce choix, et qui argumentent contre. Pourquoi finalement ces arguments ? Ça fait du bien aussi de se poser cette question ! Ça aide à supporter ces discussions plus facilement.
Cette histoire raisonne en moi, elle est à lire absolument !
July 13, 2024
This book says all the things I want to say about not wanting children.
January 9, 2024
I did not like the book too much but I still give it 5 stars. I simply want to support the author for voicing such an very unpopular opinion. Not many women dare to say it out loud.
April 23, 2024
I Don’t Want to be a Mom is a graphic novel memoir of Irene Olmo’s journey of whether or not parenthood is for her. I found myself relating to this journey & I’ve also came to the same conclusion. The conversations with other people can get awkward! Thankfully, it’s becoming less of an issue. I’m happy for you if parenthood makes you happy! But it’s just not for me.
April 1, 2020
En français "Je ne veux pas être maman". Tout un questionnement sur la pression faite aux femmes sur l'envie et le besoin d'avoir un enfant. Aucune critique n'est faite aux femmes ayant/voulant des enfants. Irene Olmo s'exprime sur le harcèlement qu'elle subit en tant que femme qui ne souhaite pas procréer et explique comment s'est faite sa réflexion sur sa décision.
Gros coup de coeur pour moi, qui ressent la même chose. Ce livre peut aider à se sentir moins seul(e) sur cette question, comme peut expliquer de façon drôle et honnête cette décision que certains qualifieraient d'égoïste.
À lire absolument !
Gros coup de coeur pour moi, qui ressent la même chose. Ce livre peut aider à se sentir moins seul(e) sur cette question, comme peut expliquer de façon drôle et honnête cette décision que certains qualifieraient d'égoïste.
À lire absolument !
July 6, 2020
Este cómic es el regalo perfecto para todas esas personas tan faltas de tacto y a la vez tan rápidas a la hora de emitir juicios y preguntas incómodas: Y tú para cuándo?, Y el segundo?, No quieres tener hijos? Estás desnaturalizada, Otro perro teniendo ya uno? Mejor ponte a buscar el niño, Qué pena que no sepas coger a un niño en brazos pero ya te lo acerco yo... Tanto si no quieres tenerlos, como si no puedes o como si no ha llegado el momento que tú has decidido tenerlos, la sociedad necesita aprender a respetar estas decisiones y este cómic me parece un buen “guantazo” de realidad para educarla.
January 13, 2024
For anyone who has ever struggled with the overwhelming expectation of: 'because I am female, the main goal in life should be to be a mother. And if it's not, then something is wrong with me'.
Irene Olmo does an excellent job of depicting the sometimes crushing weight of other peoples' expectations of individuals based on gender with regards to reproduction. She also demonstrates the importance of listening to yourself and determining what is right for you.
TL;DR: I felt seen reading this book.
Irene Olmo does an excellent job of depicting the sometimes crushing weight of other peoples' expectations of individuals based on gender with regards to reproduction. She also demonstrates the importance of listening to yourself and determining what is right for you.
TL;DR: I felt seen reading this book.
July 29, 2020
Une BD qui m'a été offerte par une amie après une discussion sur la fait d'avoir ou non des enfants. C'est un récit très facile à lire et bien mené qui évoque un cheminement personnel dans lequel il est facile de se retrouver. C'est aussi une belle manière d'appréhender les raisons et arguments de "l'opinion adverse", quelle que soit votre position.
December 27, 2023
This book crossed my path exactly when I needed it. I'm sure I'm not the only childfree woman who feels seen and validated by Olmo's vulnerable and honest telling about the experience of being CF by choice in a sea of baby-crazy friends and family members. Olmo perfectly captures the experience with humor, blunt honesty and careful self-reflection.
August 4, 2020
Un joli coup de cœur pour cette BD qui aborde une thématique qui me tient à cœur et qui a beaucoup raisonné en moi. Et le dessin est superbe... Que demander de plus ?
March 22, 2022
L’autrice raconte son cheminement personnel dans sa décision de ne pas avoir d’enfants.
La BD montre bien les pressions sociales subies par les femmes dans ce cas, mais le niveau de réflexion sur le sujet ne vole pas très haut…
A aucun moment les mécaniques patriarcales et oppressives ne sont nommées ou expliquées.
Cette BD n’apporte pas grand chose de plus au sujet que l’on ne sache déjà.
À offrir à Noël à la tante relou à qui on aurait la flemme de faire le niveau basique de pédagogie, mais si vous voulez quelque chose de plus politique, passez votre chemin.
La BD montre bien les pressions sociales subies par les femmes dans ce cas, mais le niveau de réflexion sur le sujet ne vole pas très haut…
A aucun moment les mécaniques patriarcales et oppressives ne sont nommées ou expliquées.
Cette BD n’apporte pas grand chose de plus au sujet que l’on ne sache déjà.
À offrir à Noël à la tante relou à qui on aurait la flemme de faire le niveau basique de pédagogie, mais si vous voulez quelque chose de plus politique, passez votre chemin.
April 3, 2022
Cette BD est exactement tout ce que je pense et ressens. La dessinatrice a les mêmes questions que moi, le même cheminement de pensée. J'ai adoré je me suis sentie moins seule et réconfortée. J'ai également adoré la fin avec des conseils et petits mots réconfortants. À lire par toutes, et aussi celles qui veulent des enfants !
March 18, 2023
C'est un sentiment de déjà-vu cette BD.
May 18, 2021
Une ouvre nécessaire sur la pression subie par les femmes et plus particulièrement, sur celles qui "osent" dire non au fait d'être mère.
Les dessins sont beaux.
Les dessins sont beaux.
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