Your Symphony of Selves: Discover and Understand More of Who We Are

by James Fadiman, Jordan Gruber

Why you are a different you at different times and how that’s both normal and healthy

• Reveals that each of us is made up of multiple selves, any of which can come to the forefront in different situations

• Offers examples of healthy multiple selves from psychology, neuroscience, pop culture, literature, and ancient cultures and traditions

• Explores how to harmonize our selves and learn to access whichever one is best for a given situation

Offering groundbreaking insight into the dynamic nature of personality, James Fadiman and Jordan Gruber show that each of us is comprised of distinct, autonomous, and inherently valuable “selves.” They also show that honoring each of these selves is a key to improved ways of living, loving, and working.

Explaining that it is normal to have multiple selves, the authors offer insights into why we all are inconsistent at times, allowing us to become more accepting of the different parts of who we and other people are. They explore, through extensive reviews, how the concept of healthy multiple selves has been supported in science, popular culture, spirituality, philosophy, art, literature, and ancient traditions and cite well-known people, including David Bowie and Beyoncé, who describe accessing another self at a pivotal point in their lives to resolve a pressing challenge.

Instead of seeing the existence of many selves as a flaw or pathology, the authors reveal that the healthiest people, mentally and emotionally, are those that have naturally learned to appreciate and work in harmony with their own symphony of selves. They identify “the Single Self Assumption” as the prime reason why the benefits of having multiple selves has been ignored. This assumption holds that we each are or ought to be a single consistent self, yet we all recognize, in reality, that we are different in different situations.

Offering a pragmatic approach, the authors show how you can prepare for situations by shifting to the appropriate self, rather than being “switched” or “triggered” into a sub-optimal part of who you are. They also show how recognizing your selves provides increased access to skills, talent, and creativity; enhanced energy; and improved healing and pain management. Appreciating your diverse selves will give you more empathy toward yourself and others. By harmonizing your symphony of selves, you can learn to be “in the right mind at the right time” more often.

Genres: Psychology, Self Help, Nonfiction, Science, Philosophy, Audiobook

448 pages, Paperback

First published August 4, 2020

About the author

James Fadiman is an American psychologist and writer. He is acknowledged for his extensive work in the field of psychedelic research.
Fadiman received a Bachelor of Social Relations from Harvard University and a Master's degree and Ph.D in Psychology from Stanford University.
While in Paris in 1961, his friend and former Harvard undergraduate adviser, Ram Dass, introduced him to psychedelics.
Currently a Senior Research Fellow at Sophia University, Palo Alto, California
Microdose researcher and advocate.

Reviews

[Mike · Rating 2 out of 5]

I like the thesis of this book, and hearing the author speak on podcasts has been informative, but the book is badly written. It's extremely repetitive, makes it very difficult to find the one useful tidbit of information amongst the 500 quotes from different people all saying the same things in slightly different ways.

[Cynthia Larson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mastering Multiplicity for Optimal Living--A Fresh take on an Old Idea

Your Symphony of Selves illuminates one of the biggest unspoken and unquestioned assumptions implicit in western human society: each and every one of us consists of a steady, unified, single self. We might occasionally notice with irritation that a friend or family member is "not acting like themselves," yet seldom do we acknowledge the dynamics of the multiplicity of identities each of us actually possess.

Your Symphony of Selves makes the brilliant point that the single self assumption limits optimal human functioning. To presume that 'each of us is a single unified self' is to miss opportunities for greater health, happiness and general well-being. Multiplicity has been disparaged for over a century, such that there now exists a working assumption than having multiple identities must mean a person has a disorder. Intriguingly, talking to oneself has been recognized as a way to fast-track one's resilience, creativity, and ability to respond with far greater resourcefulness--yet few adherents to the 'single mind' assumption stop to wonder who we might be talking to when employing such an effective device.

Fadiman and Gruber do an excellent job of providing the history for the idea of many selves, and demonstrating the value of adopting the multiplicity concept of self over the 'single self.' What's so exciting about this book is how it clearly elucidates its three main premises, that: (1) healthy, normal people have more than one self or personality; (2) different selves are truly different, impacting fundamental qualities and attributes anywhere from a little to a lot; and (3) it's easy to see beyond the single self assumption and improve your life.

The authors are quick to acknowledge that while there do exist genuinely pathological cases of individuals suffering from dissociative identity disorder (which used to be known as multiple personality disorder), such cases do not model healthy examples of normal multiplicity. We have received good models of healthy multiplicity from philosophers including: Plato, David Hume, Bishop Butler, Friedrich Nietzsche, and Alfred North Whitehead. Many psychologists contributed to the idea of healthy multiplicity of selves, including: Jean-Martin Charcot, Pierre Janet, William James, Sigmund Freud, Alfred Binet, and Carl Jung. Many scientists also provide supporting ideas for multiplicity, including: Douglas Hofstadter, Marvin Minsky, Robert Ornstein, Dan Siegel, and David Eagleman.

The value of having multiplicity of selves can hardly be underestimated, since researchers have noted different selves can bring to the fore extraordinary qualities, characteristics, and talents--and remarkable changes to mental, emotional, and physiological differences. Some of the physiological shifts include such things as changes in eyeglass prescriptions, allergies, and blood pressure. Your Symphony of Selves illuminates examples of very high achievers who seamlessly shift between their various selves to demonstrate mastery in a variety of different roles. When we appreciate how Heiseman Trophy winner Herschel Walker appears to be a "Renaissance Man" as an athlete, chef, dancer, and businessman, we can also take note of his very public disclosure of his having been diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder. And we would do well to especially take note that Herschel explains in his autobiography, "what made me different, and what characterized my distinct [condition], was that for the majority of my life, the alternative personalities that I developed did far more good than harm."

In short, Your Symphony of Selves is a smorgasbord of priceless information capable of assisting readers to make friends with their various existing personalities, and learn the art of bringing all your selves together into a harmonious group or symphony, where at appropriate times the optimal lead personality takes charge, with others providing supporting roles.

Readers may be relieved to find that it's perfectly normal to have, for example, one self who becomes so absorbed by what they are reading that they literally don't hear others speaking to them at those times--and they are not being intentionally rude, but are rather completely focused. When we know we have a lot to do with choosing which self--or which mind--we inhabit at any particular time, we can find ourselves increasingly more competent at a wider range of activities than we might previously have ever realized possible. And we can experience the gift of being in the right mind at the right time.

Your Symphony of Selves provides a marvelous overview of the multiplicity of selves subject, with references to techniques, ideas, and processes from a wide variety of sources. The book is well organized, with key ideas emphasized, and suggestions of ways to make best practical use of the concept of multiplicity of selves in daily life.

[JM]

This is a good book but as I see it there are two main issues with it. First, the author’s main thesis is self evident: it must seem intuitive to practically anyone that a person is comprised of multiple “selves,” setting aside for now what the exact definition of a self is. Which leads me to the second major problem I have with this book: the authors never actually define the “self,” that is the say, the object of their analysis. While I understand that they would prefer to avoid the distraction of a more theoretical analysis that would not be accessible to a significant portion of their target audience, it seems slightly contrived to me to publish a whole book on a topic (the self) without proposing at least some skeletal definition of what it is or even drawing some tentative boundaries around it. My third and final issue with this book is that is spends far too much time providing examples of multiple selves within every conceivable domain. There comes a point very early in this data dump of culture artifacts where the reader is already convinced of the argument yet must endure several more chapters of similar material extracted from different milieus. It was as if the authors were compensating for their lack of a definition of the self with an exaggerated volume of examples—yet I was still not able to obtain a clearer grasp of what the self truly is by reading through all of this.

[Rose Guingrich · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was, quite simply, a notable concept with poor execution. The order of the book didn’t make sense (outlining the benefits of a concept they haven’t properly explained and and THEN citing examples and explaining it? But why?), and it became boring very quickly. My favorite parts of the book were the quotes from other authors, so, woo.

[Bjørn Harald Snersrud · Rating 3 out of 5]

The main thesis is presented once...and then repeated endlessly in slight variations throughout the book. Still, the ideas and tools presented, even if diluted and covered by fluff, are worth digging for. In short- the book would be great if it was limited to ish fifty pages and written with the more pragmatic readers in mind.

[Michael · Rating 4 out of 5]

After hearing James Fadiman interviewed by Sam Harris on his podcast, I knew I had to read this book. Fadiman reviews the history of multiplicity and parts work from Charcot through Freud and Jung to Assagioli, Perls and Ross to contemporary modalities where parts are worked with such as Internal Family Systems, Hakomi and other modalities. As a psychiatry resident I was confounded by the vastly different world of psychiatry and psychotherapy practiced by those who worked with "dissociative identity disorder" and recently encountered this world again when I explored Internal Family Systems therapy. Internal Family Systems is a powerful and popular psychotherapeutic approach, pioneered my Richard Schwartz, used to treat all manner of psychological concerns, which uses the concept of psychological "parts". Fadiman and Gruber's book helps to make sense of these approaches and also to look once again at our taken for granted assumptions about our "selves". The core concept of this book, that we all have multiple selves and that "healthy multiplicity" is a form of greater coherence and adaptability may sound radical or even unlikely, but the book makes a strong case for normal multiplicity in our everyday use of language and in representations in art and movies. I found this book to be an excellent review of the conceptual history of parts work, and for that alone I am glad I read it. As for the core argument of the book, I am still working through the implications of Fadiman's model. Let's just say, it provokes much inner dialogue.

[Eric Bettencourt · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to the Audible and used the physical book for reference and I really loved it; such a great theory. The authors don't really break new ground with any new major insights but basically reframe and consolidate many nebulous aspects of the self and it's experiences.

The Audio book was a little tough to listen to in places especially when there were lots of lists and equations otherwise super engaging and interesting.

[Adam Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was eye opening and has changed my perspective on identity/personality in interesting ways. It also takes an intuitive way I think many of us think already perhaps without knowing it and explains it with a series of examples from multiple sources. Especially for “parts” work psychology this book will be a great source of information and I believe was designed for the average person to be able to read and apply the concepts right away. Five stars and a great read!

[Clive F · Rating 4 out of 5]

The core thesis of this book is that each of us is not, as much in Western culture would assert, a single, unified, individual. Instead, we are composed of multiple "selves", each with potentially quite distinct preferences, traits, and even some physiological attributes (blood pressure, pulse rates, even allergies in extreme cases). The most extreme version of this is "multiple personality disorder", nowadays called dissociative identity disorder (DID), but, the authors assert, we are all actually like this.

There is reasonable evidence for this, at some level, in our everyday lives: even if we're in the middle of a highly emotional event, if we receive a phone call from our boss we can switch very quickly to a different state, or self, that's appropriate to that context. So, at some level at least, one could interpret this book as being about switching between those different states.

However, the authors want to argue for a much stronger version of this: these are really, genuinely, different "selves", with different goals and drives. This strong version has a lot of appeal, as again we can see times when we have different, even opposing, goals at different times. The authors produce a lot of historical examples of people talking about the "self" in this way - from great literature to religions to the early psychologists.

The rest of the book presents a good case for how useful this view is, especially we can use it to reduce internal conflict, or to bring the right member of our "crew" to the fore, to handle a particular situation. Indeed, several modern schools of psychiatry are based on these kinds of techniques, such as Internal Family Systems. We are even starting to see some neuroscience to back this theory up - one early example is "split brain" experiments, where people whose corpus callosum has been cut (a treatment for severe epilepsy in the 1960s and '70s) can appear to manifest two simultaneous personalities with different goals.

The strengths of the book are the in-depth presentation of the material, although perhaps it went on a little long for my taste in the list of antecedents. For me the book was weaker on the (for me more interesting) suggestions as to how to work with our multiple selves - to integrate them, or to trigger switching from one to another. It does have some material on this, but the balance for me was the wrong way round on history vs practice.

Of course this all leaves open very many interesting questions, such as: do these selves update themselves when "offline"? do they in turn have sub-selves? how are they formed in an individual?

Overall a very interesting book, and, speaking for myselves(!), I'm sure they are correct in their core thesis.

[Gus diZerega · Rating 5 out of 5]

James Fadiman and Jordan Gruber have written an important and fascinating book, “Your Symphony of Selves.” In it they challenge the taken for granted Western notion that we are individuals “all the way down” and any sign of a person being more complex than that signals pathology.

It’s not that the phenomena of multiple selves has not been noticed. But as a culture we have terms that reduce their significance, such as “facets,” “personalities,” and “roles.” Fadiman and Gruber argue there is much more going on. Brain waves differ, and sometimes even health issues such as allergies can vary. Further, they demonstrate that the notion people possess more than one “self” is not a new insight among philosophers and psychologists. Nor is it unusual within many of the world’s spiritual traditions. Covering so much ground, much depends on previous work, but I have never seen it all drawn together so clearly and deeply.

These multiple selves are not evidence of pathologies, but rather exist within all normal people, and in ways that can be very beneficial.

Reading their book caused me to take another, deeper, look at transformations in my own personality, as with the artist who has a hard time speaking with others and the voluble university lecturer.

I recommend this book highly as encouraging a new and fascinating way of experiencing our own lives as we make our way in the world.

[JP Marshall · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a newly qualified psychologist with a longstanding appreciation of positions on multiplicity of selves / self states as more reflective of reality (in contrast to the hugely problematic notion of a unitary self), from the likes of Richard Schwartz (Internal Family Systems), Iain McGilchrist (e.g. The Divided Brain), and Thich Nhat Hanh (e.g. Reconciliation: Healing the Inner Child), I feel this book is a lovely addition to the field. In my professional work, I have found that my clients find these kinds of perspectives immensely helpful (as I do myself, in relation to my own work on myself), often more than any other approach they have engaged with previously, standing in contrast as they do to the often damaging, disempowering framing of multiplicity as pathological - a common feature, most unfortunately, of mainstream psychiatry/psychology, and Western culture. Easily accessible, a kind of 'self-help' book, I will be recommending this one to lots of those clients moving forward.

[Nikolaus-Mathias Herl · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think the described concept(s) and advice are incredibly powerful and important. I agree with some of the other reviewers that, if one were to read the book front to back, it'd be a terrible drag. My advice: skip "Section II" (i.e. chapters 4 to 7) at first. Section I and III are where most of the meat is.

edit: ... most of the meat, in terms of directly-relevant and actionable information for "everyday (and possibly suffering) people". If you're a mental health practitioner of some sort, the historical view in chapters 5-7 and then again the info in Section IV should be directly interesting as well.

[Robert Weitzel · Rating 5 out of 5]

A tour de force, exhuming the long hidden awareness of the multiplicity of selves present in all of us, and exploring the amazing changes in our lives inherent in recognizing this fact of life.
Written beautifully, with clear evidence from diverse and respected sources, and convincing, illustrative examples that resonate immediately.
Jim Fadiman (with his collaborative author, Jordan Gruber) has done it again - written a fascinating and groundbreaking work that will open minds and change lives, to the benefit of all - you, me, and everyone we care about!

[Philippe Gagné · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful book! James Fadiman's theory makes a lot of sense and is very well explained. The book is very accessible and can be read by laypeople as well as by professional psychiatrists. The authors offer us very interesting ideas that are justified with very good research and are nicely and comprehensively presented. This book really has, as the subtitle suggests, helped me discover and understand more of who I am. It was one of my best reads this year!

[Margot Tesch · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fantastic ideas covered in this book. Really thought provoking. But it was a fairly hard slog as they meticulously go through all references in human history basically to multiple selves - literature, movies, poetry, etc. etc. Glad I read it and come back to many of the ideas expressed again and again in my thinking about my 'selves'.

[Josephine]

Best thought of as a current of argument - you can jump in and erode your skepticism at length, but once you put your hands up and declare yourself a convert you can get back out and skip around. Most of the value for the convinced is located in a few particular chapters since the authors were more concerned with accounting for their concepts at length.

[Asaf Shpigler · Rating 2 out of 5]

Clear message- you (and the entire western culture) assume you’re a single person, you’re not. You’re composed of selves

But, if you already believe you’re more complex than a single identity this book has little to offer you
Bloated with tons of examples, wordy language… I think its the first book in 5 years I wanted to stop midway

[William]

Too dry, too many examples, not enough that I felt I could apply to myself.

[David · Rating 2 out of 5]

Interesting Topic. However, lots of repetitions and citations make it hard to read. Not my preferred style. Sorry.

[Tyson Gaylord · Rating 5 out of 5]

All of my selves enjoyed it and learned a lot

[Rob Tennyson · Rating 5 out of 5]

In hindsight, OF COURSE! This book has really opened my mind and we really appreciate it!

[Isaac Lindenberger · Rating 4 out of 5]

Themes are very repetitive - book could have been much shorter. In any case, it's a very interesting read with a lot of unique ideas

[Hauke Monnerjahn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Konzept super, hätte kürzer sein können.

[Spencer · Rating 3 out of 5]

A symphony of selves- to Appreciate your inner selves, a healthy multiplicity.
You have an accessible self that can be more forgiving and compassionate than the other selves.
When u r absentminded it is because a diff self was dealing with a thing. The part of you that did the thing is no longer here.
Monotheistic western societies have a dissociated executive self and one God that comes from this psyche.
Awareness of subpersonalities begins communication with them, it liberates and begins to integrate them
Robots can better solve problems if there are subagents that have singular specializes tasks that work together, the mind may be like this. Different tenents co habitating, sub selves in the brain cooperating
A heirarchy of consciousness, like stairs you climb as part of human development. Selves are like inherent seeds planted at different depths that arise naturally as we age as we strive for self actualization. The seeds bloom one by one and integrate with the other plants that have grown. Or it can be stunted and the garden doesn’t grow.
Diff types of selves we each have. Defenders, controllers, punishers, role players, relics, creatives. Nurturing parent, slavedriver, ceo self, obedient child self, creative child self. Animal alter, abuser, caretaker, child, original, ded, demon, disabled, fictional character, gatekeeper, insiders, inner self helper, manager, military alter, opposite sex alter, object, psychotic, robot, sexual, ghost alter, suicidal, teen, twin.
Perel- affairs are a quest for a new identity, we aren’t turning away from our partner, we are turning away from the self we have become, we want to be a new person, not seek a new person.
Request help from the selves, don’t dictate, thank them, anyone in there that can help me with this please step forward thx! You can leave now. They only understand the present. Let them know the body will tell them when they can come and go.
Develop a subpersonality to challenge the dominate personality and the dom will fade into the background. We are an unruly republic of rebels
Schizophrenia is withdrawl, its not MPD.