A clever, thoughtful, and funny history that reveals how the Union of states was built on a much more personal union of people.
Have you ever used a dating app or website? Then you have more in common than you know with lonely homesteaders in 18th century New England. At once heartwarming and heartbreaking, Matrimony, Inc. reveals the unifying thread that weaves its way through not just marriage and relationships over the centuries, but American social history advertising for love.
Amazingly, America’s first personal ad appeared in the Boston Evening Post as early as 1759. A “person who flatters himself that he shall not be thought disagreeable” was in search of a “young lady, between the age of eighteen and twenty-three, of a middling stature, brown hair, of good Morals…” As family-arranged marriages fell out of fashion, "Husband Wanted" or "Seeking Wife" ads were soon to be found in every state in the nation.
From the woman in a Wisconsin newspaper who wanted “no brainless dandy or foppish fool” to the man with a glass eye who placed an ad in the New York Times hoping to meet a woman with a glass eye, the many hundreds of personal ads that author Francesca Beauman has uncovered offer an extraordinary glimpse into the history of our hearts’ desires, as well as a unique insight into American life as the frontier was settled and the cities grew. Personal ads played a surprisingly vital role in the couple by couple, shy smile by shy smile, letter by letter from a dusty, exhausted miner in California to a bored, frustrated seamstress in Ohio. Get ready for a new perspective on the making of modern America, a hundred words of typesetter’s blurry black ink at a time.
“So anxious are our settlers for wives that they never ask a single lady her age. All they require is teeth ,” declared the Dubuque Iowa News in 1838 in a state where men outnumbered women three to one. While the dating pools of 21st century New York, Chicago or San Francisco might not be quite so dentally-fixated, Matrimony Inc. will put idly swiping right on Tinder into fascinating and vividly fresh historical context. What do women look for in a man? What do men look for in a woman? And how has this changed over the past 250 years?
This book was so short but took me so long to finish. It was interesting, but so much was repetitive and similar between chapters and quotes that I felt deja vu constantly. Also, the most interesting part to me would have been the images from old newspapers...if i could have seen them clearly. Most were so small and fuzzy that the reader is only able to read the author's explanation of the ads (which used quotes liberally, but not as one continuous piece, as the ad would have been). Also, that meant you couldn't see the surrounding ads, which probably were interesting for different reasons. Some chapters are much stronger than others, and it's a shame you have to go through the duds to get there. Luckily, I'd say that if a chapter got too slow you could skip it and move along without losing much necessary info.
Aside from the poorly rendered images and mistakes in facts (page 39 calls Baltimore a major city in Ohio), this was interesting enough. It felt like it stretched to reach 200 pages and could have been a deep-dive article more than a whole book.
I took a romance psychology class in college with a professor whose specialty was dating ads and specifically, what they said about our culture. It was weird to not see much of that brought up in depth.
And note, this is almost entirely about personal ads and not other ways of finding romantic partners. Nothing wrong with that, but the title is a bit misleading.
It is very white and about heterosexual relationships, but Beauman does a good job explaining why in her introduction.
**I received a physical ARC of this book for free from the publisher/author in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.**
So, I don’t typically read nonfiction, but this was so entertaining. Being someone who met their significant other on a dating app (Bumble, in my case), I thought it would be really interesting to read the history of it all. I never really thought about that people used to do personal ads in the papers looking for spouses, and I certainly didn’t realize that there were still personal ads even in the 2000s. I guess being young, I wouldn’t have, but it was so fun to read.
Beauman has such a witty personality that really comes through in her writing. I enjoyed reading through her voice and thoughts about these people. Some of the ads were so funny, but also sincere and sweet. Others, not so much.
These ads have been posted for centuries. The oldest one with evidence of existence was way back in 1759!! Crazy. Each chapter features different people with various situations for either posting or responding to a personal ad for companionship. It was fun to literally follow these ads throughout time, dating from 1759 all the way to 2020. Obviously things look a bit different these days with the convenience of a smartphone. We all have Bumble, Tinder, Hinge, etc. at our fingertips. And thank God, because if it hadn’t been for Bumble, Ryan and I may have never met.
Basically, it all boils down to the fact that although interactions have looked different in the various time periods, it has always been for the same reason. We all want companionship, love, and happiness, however we need to obtain it.
It was such a good experience reading this book. Like I said, I literally never read nonfiction, but I’m so glad I agreed to review this one. Otherwise, I would have never known all the history and facts about dating and personal ads throughout the last few centuries.
Thank you so much to Wunderkind PR, Pegasus Books, and of course, the author herself, Francesca Beauman, for allowing me to read and review this book. I thoroughly enjoyed my time with it.
This book sheds an unique perspective on where the start of personal ads were born. The first one posted from which evidence still exists appeared in the Boston Evening Post on February 23, 1759. It spoke of a male looking for a female. He provides details about what he is looking for in a female companion.
Each chapter features a different person and their situation. This book does not feature just men but women, who were/are looking for companionship. Back than, to help grow the new lands with population, it was encouraged that single women come over by ship so that they could keep the men from leaving. It worked and the population grew. Thus the reason that marriage was considered so important.
It was interesting to see how the personal ads and relationships changed over the various time periods featured in this book. From the past to the present. There is a big change in the way we interact with someone else but what we are looking for in a companion does not change. We all want happiness.
Personal ads - are they an authorized, public form of Peeping Tom behavior? It's hard not to enjoy these tiny peeks into a stranger's love life, or lack of one. Beauman's subject is fun, but the book is problematic. She's collected some charming examples of ads from pre-revolutionary times to Tindr, but, having done all that scholarly digging, she then lards the book with speculation and invented musings. She should have stuck to the rare gold mines she uncovered, like the trunk full of letters written by dozens of young women to a wounded Union soldier during the Civil War.
This wasn't an unenjoyable read, but oh my, it was very repetitive. I appreciate that the subject matter does not allow for much in the way of documentation to make these glimpses into the personal ads of yore richer, but this book could truly have been an article.
I was primed to love this book; the history of personal ads is such an interesting topic, one I had never thought about before. There is a lot of good information in here, especially if, like me, you are starting out with zero knowledge.
One of the biggest problems is the images of personal ads scattered throughout the text. They are more irritating than illuminating because it's impossible to read the tiny words. They, and all references to them, should have been cut.
Another problem is that most of the book covers the mid-1700s through the early 1900s, and then 1908-2020 -- more than 100 years! -- is squashed into the final chapter. A few of those earlier chapters could have been condensed and the final stretched out with a more in-depth look at modern dating. Where are those stories of success and failure? Why do people use apps instead of going to public spaces? Are today's social commentators alarmed or excited about them?
The book's best chapters were the ones about the Civil War, when women's personal correspondence with strange men evolved from scandalous to patriotic; and Belle Gunness, the Midwestern serial killer who may or may not have died in a house fire. (Apparently this incident put a damper on personal ads for a few decades.) The chapters about the Frontier aren't bad either.
To some extent the ads feel repetitive, although maybe that's not author Francesca Beauman's fault so much as men over the centuries prefer women 18-25.
Beauman does a good job of putting the ads in context and explaining how migration and immigration, the rise of literacy and education, and women's increasing independence altered who was placing ads and what they wanted. She's done a lot of research and put a lot of thought into her theories -- one of the reasons why it's surprising that she rushes through the 20th century. Surely there's more to say?
I did count my blessings when I finished the book, not because I disliked it but because I'm married and don't have to deal with all this nonsense anymore. Should that change, perhaps someone will have invented time travel and I can increase my chances of landing another man. I may be past 25, but at least I have all my teeth.
Beauman gives us on an historical journey of the "personal ad". Finding a suitable or acceptable life partner thru advertising dates back to the 1700's in the U.S. Early settlers - left their home countries and the norm of arranged marriages - or the matches made in familial social circles. Ads for wives were printed in Boston, Philadelphia, other newspapers. Homesteaders moving west needed to advertise in the city newspapers for a wife. Acceptable traits were simple: sturdy build, pleasing temperment, of child-bearing age and capable of running a household. Besides giving a homesteader a working partner, children to assist in the farming, and perhaps some financial aid from her family- free land was available. Double acreage for a married man. Romance was not required or expected.
For single women back East, there were few opportunities to meet eligible men- as cities grew. A woman over 25 years old was considered an old maid. So, women began placing personal ads in the papers - mailed or carried to the west. Their requirements: not old or fat, non-smoker, non-drinker, kind - sometimes, having their own teeth! After months or years of correspondence, the woman would travel west, meet her man and get married that same day. True mail-order brides.
Beauman includes some tru stories of matches made thru personal ads - positve, negative and sometimes criminal.
Matrimony, Inc. delivers a unique look at how personal ads were used in the United States from the time the first one appeared in 1759 to present day. The scope is broad and the author freely admits where the historic record leaves gaps. This is particularly noteworthy since many black newspapers were not preserved. This does leave the book dominated by stories of white Americans and immigrants, a fact Beauman addresses, but is powerless to change.
The book is set in chronological order which means the earliest chapters hinge more on the history and response to the personal ads rather than who was placing them. Those details are, unfortunately, lost to history as well since people were pretty circumspect about the placing or answering of these ads. That means the real heart of the book is truly in the middle where personal stories make these ads come to life. We get to hear about love, old school catfishing, and even murder in these central chapters.
Beauman works well with details, establishing clearly the premise and the broader implications of the personal ad such as how personal ads enabled white Americans to overtake the western frontier. The one quibble I had was that contemporary personal ads weren't given much space and I would have loved to learn more about how personal ads were used to create LGBTQ+ spaces.
This was a fun read. Very few things in this world are new, and Beauman illustrates that with Matrimony, Inc. People today might "swipe right," but partner expectations are pretty much the same (healthy, rich), although Beauman does a nice job of tracing how some partnership expectations have changed, such as pairing off for survival's sake vs. finding love. I enjoyed the historical overview and how she put it within the context of geographical (westward expansion) and a socioeconomic context. Beauman drives home the point that much of the success of personal ads depends on blind trust. And of course, that trust can lead to fraud...or worse. I read the whole time thinking of the serial killer Belle Gunness, so I was really glad when she devoted a chapter to her.
Criticisms? Beauman can be repetitious, especially in the earlier chapters. The images of the ads were far too small to read. It may have worked for an e-book as you can enlarge it, but I was reading the hardback, and this wasn't an option. A shame, because it's always nice to be able to read the actual source. Speaking of sources, there was no citation, which I thought was quite odd, given how much she relied on primary sources.
3.5/5 - Slightly clunky text that made for slow but interesting reading, starting with American personal ads in the 18th Century and ending with modern dating apps like Tinder. I particularly liked reading the full story of a personal ad and how things ended up (marriage, especially), when available. There is often no way to know whether or not a match was made via the earlier ads. Not sure I wanted to know about the serial killers, but they're obviously part of the story of personal ads if that's how the killers found their victims. Belle Gunness gave me the shivers.
Apart from the writing style, I had only one complaint about Matrimony, Inc. and that may be amended in the final print version (I received an ARC): the personal ads reproduced in the book are mostly too small to read. This could have been worked around if the author had put the entire text of the ad below it (it's nice to see them, even if you can't read them). After a good bit of eyestrain, I decided to give up on trying to read them. However, I don't have access to the final copy so I can't say whether or not they enlarged the personal ads shown.
Whether they’ve been socially acceptable or not, personal ads have always been interesting! Several of the qualities people look for in mates never really seem to change too much.
This was an entertaining examination of personal ads through the years. The author’s snark responding to some of the ads was quite amusing. The ads themselves were usually too small and blurry to read, but the excerpts she chose definitely brought the history to life.
Some favorite stories included from the history of personal ads were those of men, women, and couples sometimes using personal ads to target and attract particular victims—usually those with money and few contacts who would check up on them. The stories of some of the crimes they committed, and how they were finally caught, were interesting.
Overall, I’d give this book 3 out of 5 stars. The history was a bit dry in parts, but the author’s voice and sassy humor lightened the tone. This would be a good book for those who enjoy non-fiction and social commentaries.
3.5 stars, interesting but does get repetitive. The most interesting bits were about crimes committed via the personal ads, I would have liked to have more information included on that. I didn't care for the first person pov anecdotes included at the end of each chapter, since they seemed to be entirely fictionalized. I get that they wanted to flesh out the possible motivations of the people placing and replying to the ads, but I found them awkward and out of place.
I listened to the audiobook. The narrator was generally very good, though when you have a British speaker narrating a book about American history they should really be coached on place name pronunciations. Some of them really stuck out to me (Poughkeepsie, Spokane, St Louis), as well as a few person's names. But overall very entertaining and easy listening.
My interest was piqued by this book because of my fascination with learning about history. I’ve always heard about personal ads in newspapers and mentioned in historical novels (more so, the mail bride order bride romance stories) and thought the subject was interesting. Considering how we’ve evolved over time when it comes to these ads and that they’ve now become dating apps it was interesting to see how it all got started.
I enjoyed this book. I liked how it overviewed the idea of advertisements for marriages. There were a couple marriage ads that fit my situation in life of being single and I totally could've used if I time traveled to the past. My big complaint is the addition of the newspaper ads because barely any of them were readable. I think the author needed to ensure the sources could have been read, enlarged the picture, added captions of what the ad said exactly, or have a section of just newspaper ad pictures in colored ink.
Hilarious account of what personals were like before eHarmony, Match.com or more likely Tinder and Fling.
Sometimes men and women might have been in short supply. Wars, disease adding to westward expansion often leave civilization behind. That being said, how would a marriage minded individual find a mate?
Newspapers were the most convenient medium. This book gives a look at different eras if our history and how to find someone to take rhe plunge.
Quick, light, and enjoyable read about the history of personal ads. Sometimes the ads themselves were enough to engage without any explanation. She did a good job at tying it to the social morays of time and place.
Repetitive and not very well written. I was frustrated by factual errors, such as when she wrote that Baltimore, Ohio, was the second most populous city in America in the 1850s. There were also no footnotes or even a proper bibliography.
3.5 stars. All the ads in early papers said the same thing so it got a bit repetitive, but the history of the personal ad was interesting to read about. Many of the ads copied were very hard to read. Enlarging them would have greatly helped.
I enjoyed the book, but found it incredibly heterosexual in tone and focus. I understand that in some cases, the historical record obscures queer ads, but I know that a wealth of them exist, so it’s weird that a book written so recently didn’t spend much time on them.
This was a great time. My favorite part were the examples of olde timey personal ads. I only wish we could have found out more about how these olde timey marriage ad writers fared, but of course most of them are lost to history.
ARC from Wunderkind PR in exchange for my honest review. Matrimony, Inc. is a look at how people have met their match in America almost from the beginning. Author Francesca Beauman’s subtle wit sets the tone as she takes readers from early days in the country’s history to current time. The book is filled with facts, figures and anecdotes. Personal ads run from the extremely plain to the highly imaginative – all with the same intention: to find a person to marry. Readers with a casual interest in the socio-economic history of the US will find nuggets of data based on the population’s spread to the West through the 19th century. Overall, an interesting book.
3.5 stars. This was an informative book, but felt some concepts were repetitive. I’d recommend this book nonetheless AND also to check our Persephone Books (UK based publisher).
This is a very brief but informative and mostly enjoyable history of personal ads in the US. Well researched and at times humorous enough. Kept my attention all the way through.