Confusing Love With Obsession: When Being in Love Means Being in Control

by John D. Moore

A must-read book for anyone involved in a dangerously obsessive intimate relationship. Chris secretly logged into his ex-girlfriend's bank account to track her activities. Beth convinced her young son that "Daddy" didn't love him anymore. Patrick refused to let his wife work or attend school. Nancy schemed to get "the other woman" fired. Richard sabotaged his partner's diet and exercise plans. Fueled by overwhelming fear of abandonment, people involved in obsessive relationships will go to extreme lengths to control their partner, explains John D. Moore in this much-needed book. Drawing from dozens of excruciating real-life stories to reveal the inner workings of obsessive relationships, Moore calls attention to this largely hushed but intensely harmful problem. More importantly, he offers men and women a way back from destructive, painful personal relationships by helping them gain new self-awareness and self-love rather than remain preoccupied by an object of obsession.

Genres: Psychology, School

204 pages, ebook

First published June 14, 2006

Reviews

[Rebecca · Rating 3 out of 5]

I obtained this book as a text book for a Psychology of Addiction class. The book offers a LOT of great information and methods of helping. I also appreciated the case studies of different situations. The only thing that bothered me about the book; was that it was written very specifically to the people who are or have been in these type of relationships. It does not offer information or perspective from the viewpoint of an outsider or even of a person who knows someone in an addictive relationship but is not personally involved. As a student, I would have appreciated the other perspectives.

[Ashley Philipp · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is certainly a worthwhile read for anyone with an interest in psychology or relational dependence as well as for any psychology student. My central issue with it is that Moore tends to be a bit repetitive and long-winded, which is not necessarily unusual in texts written by academics. Additionally, he does write the book primarily for those who are dealing with relational dependency and trying to manage it rather than for those who are only interested in the topic. As such, some parts of the book feel less important initially, though typically regain merit for me as a psychology student as they can also be applied more hypothetically as potential causes, treatments, common experiences, etc. of people who suffer from relational dependency.

[Robert · Rating 5 out of 5]

I honestly attribute this book with saving my life.

My obsession with someone was pushing me down a very dark path indeed. A weekend locked away with this book and 450 miniatures to build let me get everything out of my system and focus on what i needed to do.

I don't doubt that if I hadn't had found this book, I wouldn't be here.

[Patricia English · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a great book, it really goes into what its like to have an Osession and how love confuses it. Its so wild.

[Adriana Ventura · Rating 4 out of 5]

Um bom livro que nos permite conhecer a natureza do amor e da obsessão. Dá-nos exemplos concretos de pessoas que passam por isto e dos seus companheiros, ao mesmo tempo que nos explica a razão da dependência relacional em cada caso.
Um livro valioso sobre o comportamento humano que nos permite entender e identificar determinados padrões à nossa volta.

O único defeito que apresento é que o autor escreveu como se apenas pessoas com dependência relacional e que confundem o amor com obsessão fossem ler, podendo assim alienar outras pessoas que queiram ler apenas por curiosidade do ponto de vista psicológico e relacional.

[Bridgett · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book and really related to some of the feelings of the relationship addiction examples (not so much the actions). I also related to the feelings of withdrawal listed when the person you are obsessed with is gone from your life. I felt understood.

[Leroy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book for help with relational dependency and obsessive love.

[M · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pretty interesting read