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Moon Showers
"FRANKLY, MY DEAR..." — Sam Langford had just returned from a Civil War re-enactment when he noticed signs of life at the mansion across the road. As caretaker of the historic property, Sam grabbed his rifle and set out to catch the intruder. But inside the house, he began to have his doubts. Could this be the thief -- this vision with short brown hair and shimmering gray eyes?
It was like a scene out of a Civil War movie. Hilary Neill was crossing the hall of the antebellum mansion when a soldier dressed in Union blues dashed up the stairs -- and aimed his rifle at her! After a scuffle on the stairs, Hilary convinced the man that she was not a burglar, but the new owner of Neill House.
Soon after she'd learned of her inheritance Hilary had caught a flight from Chicago to survey the Missouri home of her great-uncle. A city girl, she had neither the money nor the inclination to maintain the Neill House. But the Missouri prairie quickly won her heart. Who could resist the country fields drenched by sunlight each day, showered by moonlight at night? Had she found a home at last -- or did this feeling have something to do with Sam Langford, the gorgeous man next door.
It was like a scene out of a Civil War movie. Hilary Neill was crossing the hall of the antebellum mansion when a soldier dressed in Union blues dashed up the stairs -- and aimed his rifle at her! After a scuffle on the stairs, Hilary convinced the man that she was not a burglar, but the new owner of Neill House.
Soon after she'd learned of her inheritance Hilary had caught a flight from Chicago to survey the Missouri home of her great-uncle. A city girl, she had neither the money nor the inclination to maintain the Neill House. But the Missouri prairie quickly won her heart. Who could resist the country fields drenched by sunlight each day, showered by moonlight at night? Had she found a home at last -- or did this feeling have something to do with Sam Langford, the gorgeous man next door.
224 pages, Paperback
First published July 1, 1992
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December 13, 2025Do you know that moment when you watch a man eat a cherry tomato and think ‘damn, I’d tap that’, cause i sure don’t, but apparently HiLaRy has ‘never seen a more sensual gesture than Sam’s lips slowly closing around that tiny red orb’.
Hi. I’m Amy and welcome to my TED talk. Today we will be discussing Moon Showers and how it is probably the worst thing i have ever read. Let’s begin.
I read this book in one sitting. Why, you might ask? Because i hate myself.
So characters: Sam is 30% a Civil War re-enactor, 20% cowboy farmer who has to get over the death of his wife and 50% I’m just here to protect my woman.
Hilary is 20% rich city girl, but not really, 20% i wanna be an independent woman who don’t need no man but I’ll still jump from one man to the other because oMg ThE AtTrAcTIon Is ToO StROnG, and then like 60% I’m just kinda here so the main guy can watch me shower naked in the garden with a garden hose. Sexy.
For some reason, Hilary keeps comparing Sam to a warlock, like that’s the sexiest thing she’s ever known and he is constantly surprised at how SpEcIaL she is, when in fact she is an actual brick.
The plot is as complex as said brick and I think i might have nightmares with the final page where I think the point was for it to be romantic but I somehow perceived it as a ritual: *clears throat* *starts reading in a sultry voice*
‘i need to see you tonight. Not just your body, but your eyes. They are the mirrors of your soul and i need to believe that you’re really mine now, he said, baring his own soul to this woman, his mate (OMG MATE). She nodded. We’re partners, she whispered. My strengths will complement yours, and between us there are no weaknesses.’
And so they went and conquered the world with their evil plan. Just add an evil chuckle at the end of that line. Do it. You’ll see what i mean.
Oh, and at some point she fights off a raccoon and its babies and then 5 minutes later they get it on for the first time. That’s what I call ambiance.
Finally (because i have a life and a job and I can’t sit here writing reviews for hours), the writing. I will only say one thing. This was on the first page and if you break it up, it sounds like the worst poem ever written. So, page one, Moon showers: *taps microphone*
‘Count the flowers.
Count the people and people parts,
Eyes, elbows
Flapping lips.
Don’t think of the larger picture.
Not yet.
Twenty Reenactors.
Twenty plus three was Sarah’s age.
Twenty plus eight was his own.
And twenty years plus twenty,
And maybe more after that,
Stretched ahead of him.
If only...’
Eat your heart out, Emily Dickinson.
There is nothing more attractive that ‘flapping lips’.
That’s all I have time for. If you have any questions, leave them down below. I will be glad to diss this book more. I have lost my faith in literature, writing and publishing houses and with that, I bid you adieu.
Ps. If you ever find more Laura Phillips books, tell me, I will buy all of them and read them. To love a cowboy is one in particular I’m searching for. It sounds hysterical.
Hi. I’m Amy and welcome to my TED talk. Today we will be discussing Moon Showers and how it is probably the worst thing i have ever read. Let’s begin.
I read this book in one sitting. Why, you might ask? Because i hate myself.
So characters: Sam is 30% a Civil War re-enactor, 20% cowboy farmer who has to get over the death of his wife and 50% I’m just here to protect my woman.
Hilary is 20% rich city girl, but not really, 20% i wanna be an independent woman who don’t need no man but I’ll still jump from one man to the other because oMg ThE AtTrAcTIon Is ToO StROnG, and then like 60% I’m just kinda here so the main guy can watch me shower naked in the garden with a garden hose. Sexy.
For some reason, Hilary keeps comparing Sam to a warlock, like that’s the sexiest thing she’s ever known and he is constantly surprised at how SpEcIaL she is, when in fact she is an actual brick.
The plot is as complex as said brick and I think i might have nightmares with the final page where I think the point was for it to be romantic but I somehow perceived it as a ritual: *clears throat* *starts reading in a sultry voice*
‘i need to see you tonight. Not just your body, but your eyes. They are the mirrors of your soul and i need to believe that you’re really mine now, he said, baring his own soul to this woman, his mate (OMG MATE). She nodded. We’re partners, she whispered. My strengths will complement yours, and between us there are no weaknesses.’
And so they went and conquered the world with their evil plan. Just add an evil chuckle at the end of that line. Do it. You’ll see what i mean.
Oh, and at some point she fights off a raccoon and its babies and then 5 minutes later they get it on for the first time. That’s what I call ambiance.
Finally (because i have a life and a job and I can’t sit here writing reviews for hours), the writing. I will only say one thing. This was on the first page and if you break it up, it sounds like the worst poem ever written. So, page one, Moon showers: *taps microphone*
‘Count the flowers.
Count the people and people parts,
Eyes, elbows
Flapping lips.
Don’t think of the larger picture.
Not yet.
Twenty Reenactors.
Twenty plus three was Sarah’s age.
Twenty plus eight was his own.
And twenty years plus twenty,
And maybe more after that,
Stretched ahead of him.
If only...’
Eat your heart out, Emily Dickinson.
There is nothing more attractive that ‘flapping lips’.
That’s all I have time for. If you have any questions, leave them down below. I will be glad to diss this book more. I have lost my faith in literature, writing and publishing houses and with that, I bid you adieu.
Ps. If you ever find more Laura Phillips books, tell me, I will buy all of them and read them. To love a cowboy is one in particular I’m searching for. It sounds hysterical.
December 23, 2025
This is both the worst and the most entertaining book I’ve ever read. Insane, unhinged, amazing.
Highly recommend reading this as a buddy or book club read, it really adds to the entertainment value. Thank you to my reading sissies Amy and Jana for joining me on this crazy journey!
Best quote: “Good milkers, both of them.”
2,5⭐️
Highly recommend reading this as a buddy or book club read, it really adds to the entertainment value. Thank you to my reading sissies Amy and Jana for joining me on this crazy journey!
Best quote: “Good milkers, both of them.”
2,5⭐️
August 4, 2016
Hilary Neill has inherited the family home. The one time she had been there was 7 years before to attend the family funerals of several killed in a propane explosion. Her one time meeting with Sam Langford at his wife's funeral, her cousin Sarah, still held a lasting impression. Trying to decide what she will now do with Neill House is being strongly influences by what she is feeling for her new neighbor, Sam.
Sam Langford had spent a log of time at Neill House. Both before and after his wife's sudden death. Even now, he still misses Ben, but having Hilary in the house is difficult. Caught between the desire for a woman engaged to another man, and the growing depths they are learning and feeling. Can they both move on to find a relationship together.
Sam Langford had spent a log of time at Neill House. Both before and after his wife's sudden death. Even now, he still misses Ben, but having Hilary in the house is difficult. Caught between the desire for a woman engaged to another man, and the growing depths they are learning and feeling. Can they both move on to find a relationship together.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews