Moments of Glad Grace: A Memoir

by Alison Wearing

"As a writer, Wearing is all luscious texture and running narrative." -- The Globe and Mail

Moments of Glad Grace is a moving and witty memoir of aging, familial love, and the hunt for roots and belonging. The story begins as a trip from Canada to Ireland in search of genealogical data and documents. Being 80 and in the early stages of Parkinson's Disease, Joe invites his daughter Alison to come along as his research assistant, which might have worked very well had she any interest -- any at all -- in genealogy.

Very quickly, the father-daughter pilgrimage becomes more comical than fruitful, more of a bittersweet adventure than a studious mission. And rather than rigorous genealogy, their explorations move into the realm of family and forgiveness, the primal search for identity and belonging, and questions about responsibility to our ancestors and the extent to which we are shaped by the people who came before us.

Though continually bursting with humor, Moments of Glad Grace ultimately becomes a song of appreciation for the precious and limited time we have with our parents, the small moments we share, and the gifts of transcendence we might find there.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Canada, Audiobook, Biography, Contemporary, Book Club

250 pages, Paperback

First published April 7, 2020

About the author

Alison Wearing is the author of Honeymoon in Purdah – an Iranian journey and Confessions of a Fairy’s Daughter (Alfred A. Knopf).

Reviews

[Diane S ☔ · Rating 4 out of 5]

When her Dad asked her to take a trip with him ton Dublin with purpose of researching the family's genealogy Alison jumped at the chance. She wasn't interested in genealogy at all, but her father was 79, suffered from Parkinson's and she knew this would be the last trip they would take together.

There is so much more to this memoir than one would expect from the title. It is a touching and beautiful story about a father, daughter relationship. We learn tidbits of Irish history along way, and meet quite a few quirky people in various locations. It is told with warmth, tenderness and humor and shows the concern Alison has for her father's condition.

She brings up an interesting point in their search for their family's story, what happens if you find something you would rather not know about those who came before? Or conversely, what if you find nothing at all? I'm not into genealogy, though I know many who are and I think they would find this book interesting. All in all, this is a well told memoir and one that shows how important it is to appreciate the moments we have with those we love.

[Krista · Rating 4 out of 5]

How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face.

~ W. B. Yeats

I've come to realise that I have a different, perhaps more generous, method for using the Goodreads five star rating with memoirs vs. fiction – to get four or more stars, I think a memoir should have nice sentences, either tell a totally unique tale or reveal something universal to all humanity, and ideally, give me something philosophically interesting to ponder on. So, while Alison Wearing's Moments of Glad Grace does have a lack of action (as other reviewers have noted), and while her Progressive self-loathing rants were a little over the top for me (if only she wasn't born white when white people are the worst), I did find this to be both a touching portrait of a daughter's evolving relationship with her aging dad and an interesting meditation on just whose stories have been preserved in written records (spoiler: rich white people). This is definitely a four star read: maybe not because I “loved it”, but I think Wearing is an excellent writer who accomplished what she intended with this book.

The more I look into all of this, the less I wish to find any part of myself here at all.

As her father – an avid genealogist and sufferer of a slow-progressing Parkinson's – was approaching eighty, he asked Alison if she would accompany him as a research assistant on a trip to Dublin in order to track down the answers to his ultimate family mystery: Just why did so many of his Irish ancestors immigrate to Canada in the decades before the Potato Famine? Alison was delighted to be offered this time with her dad (he was the subject of her first memoir, Confessions of a Fairy’s Daughter), but as their stay in Ireland saw day after day spent reading through giant books of records, written in spidery and faded fountain pen script, Alison began to sour on the project, and especially because of what she learned in the process: Apparently, Alison knew very little of Irish history before, so as she learned about England's history of confiscating Irish land to give to English settlers (which turned the Irish people into tenant farmers in their own country), she realised that if she did find a deed in one of these record books with one of her ancestor's names on it, she would need to make peace with being descended from one of these evil English colonisers. And as she learned that Irish army officers were offered land tracts in Canada in exchange for their pensions, she realised that if she found evidence of one of her ancestors accepting this offer, she would need to make peace with being descended from one of these evil Irish displacers of Canada's First Nations. (Alison was even surprised to learn that the wreck of some of the Spanish Armada's ships on Ireland's western shores might explain hers and her father's dark and curly hair, but fortunately, this information delighted her.)

The war between father and daughter's worldviews on history, and how to intersect with those from the past, was very interesting to me. Alison knew she couldn't learn anything intimate about her ancestors in records of deeds and births; she would have preferred to spend some time in their home villages, breathing their same air and walking their worn lanes. On the other hand, as a retired poli-sci professor (and despite being a gay man with Progressive-leaning politics himself), her father could only be satisfied with firm data and was proud to claim his ancestors whoever they might be, saying, “Well, like it or not, reliable history is an assemblage of facts, not poetic stories.” To which Alison replies, “The only people who believe in history are those who are well represented by it...Women, indigenous people, the colonized – ask them about the power of omission and whether facts can just as easily be used to tell a false story as a truthful one.” And she's not wrong about that.

There is much rumination thereafter on the nature of truth and those transcendent experiences we can engage in in order to feel its presence. Alison's father finds this genealogical research to be thusly transcendent, his partner experiences it through opera, and Alison's own partner, Jay, reaches it through birding (of the obsessive nature, involving middle-of-the-night alerts to drive five hours in order to see a familiar bird in an unusual setting). Describing a night in which Jay tried to point out faint birdsong in the distance as they fell asleep, Alison recounts:

Our son moaned and turned in his sleep, tucked a foot under the small of my back. I lay for a while, listening to Jay descend into sleep, listening to the night quilt of cicadas, the faint descant of coyotes yipping in the distance. And then I heard them. Pinpricks of light in the darkness. Wisps of song falling from the night sky. A matrix of astral passage, of miraculous flight. An ancestral map spun into wings. A casual, unassuming portal into infinity.

Pretty sentences like that added quite a bit to a book where, admittedly, not a whole lot happens. Alison and her father spend their days reading the records, do a little bit of touristing in the evenings, and when their time is just about over, Alison suddenly realises just how old and frail her father is becoming; deciding at that point to stop arguing with him over the value of his project.

We will never do anything like this again. I may never have the privilege of spending so much carefree time with my dad as I have just now, scurrying around Dublin, father and daughter on a lark. And it is so obvious, yet just as easily forgotten, that this time we have – with our parents, our children, the people we love – is so very finite, so very fleeting, so very, very small.

I think that Wearing is a talented writer (I did especially like her faithful rendering of the enchanting Irish brogue she encountered), and beyond the nice sentences, the bits about truth and transcendence and just whose stories the genealogical record preserves were all interesting to think about. Four stars all day long.

[Maggi · Rating 4 out of 5]

A quirky little memoir that fills a niche not many would: reflections on a frustrating yet beautiful week in Dublin spent with the author's dad researching genealogy. Though this lens, Alison Wearing is able to examine all sorts of angles: her dad's mortality (as well as her own) the meaning of identity, the grace of gratitude, and what it means to love and accept another. While it is hard to make a boring pursuit (the genealogical search is very granular and plodding) interesting, Wearing pulls it off, though one would never call this book a page turner. "The task itself has potential, though the writing in The O'Conners of Ballysumaghan: A History is so hopelessly turgid, so stacked with facts, dates, one-dimensional people, and plodding, interminable detail that every page thuds on my mind like a dead tree. It must be because of prose like this that a prison term became known as a sentence." English teachers would do well beware of her cogent summery of literary analysis: "...we were instructed the soft bellies of these stories and extract their innards one by one: plot, theme, evidence of character development..."

Wearing wins the reader over with her own prose, as she did in the inimitable Honeymoon in Purdah and the heartfelt Confessions of a Fairy's Daughter. Through her writing, the ordinary comes to life for us as it did for her: "I've done that for too much of my life: run ahead, kept one eye on the lookout for something more exciting... that I miss what is lying, peacefully and exquisitely, in front of me."

Worth your time and effort.

[Afreen Aftab · Rating 4 out of 5]

Removing the spirit and personal coloring from a story does not make it any more true, for it denies the very truth of human life: that it is messy, complicated, wild and flawed, mysterious and ultimately unknowable.

When I first started reading this I honestly thought it was going to be a little bit of a drag. I didn't really have a previously vested interest in the history of Ireland or its people or the story of the writer, Alison Wearing, accompanying her father for a week-long genealogy hunt in the country whilst also trying to improve their bond but it really proved me wrong.

To begin with, the obsession with discovering our ancestral roots is definitely interesting to a lot of people. On the one hand, you may discover something of personal importance. On the other hand in the case of Wearing, there could be evidence of being linked to people who have any form of brutality towards other human beings such as colonialism, racism, misogyny, etc.. Not to mention all of the facts and history of which may be cloaked with exaggeration, differing perspectives and/or human error.

I especially resonated with many of Wearing's opinions on the obsession some people have on discovering their ancestor's history. Reading up their achievements might be interesting but what if their successes have hurt the livelihoods of others who were less fortunate. The discussions on class, race, religion, oppression, and migration were very interesting to read.

"The only people who believe in history are those who are well represented by it" ... "Women, Indigenous people, the colonized - ask them about the power of omission and whether facts can just as easily be used to tell a false story as a truthful one."

Unlike her father, Wearing seemed to focus more on the general history and humanity, the stories behind the facts rather than the hard cold facts themselves that her father was obsessed with pinning down. I like her eventual transition from complete cynic to discovering that there might be something in the genetics of it all.

The most interesting factor in the memoir is the underlying familial interactions threaded through the week-long endeavor. Her father's passion for ancestral research possibly stemming from the fact that he himself was shunned by his family. Wearing trying to maintain the bond to her father despite her non-interest in his research. Their clashing priorities for their week-long trip in Dublin and how Wearing will have to come to terms with the fact that ailing father's Parkinson disease is getting worse and that she can't avoid the inevitable. The philosophical discussions about finding the truth in absolute facts as well as intuition.

The writing was actually beautiful as well. The various interactions the writer had with the people around her and her descriptions of places were very lively and compelling so this wasn't a hard read at all.

[Noah Jalava · Rating 5 out of 5]

Moments of Glad Grace is incredibly touching and beautifully written. When Wearing’s almost-80 year-old father asks her to assist him with genealogical research in Ireland, Wearing delightedly agrees - only to find that the work bores her close to death. Despite this, she persists, and uncovers secrets, stories, a moving take on what our familial heritage can mean. Filled to the brim with humour, Wearing is constantly engaging as she expertly navigates the intricacies of family on both a personal level and on a grander scale through the stories and people she meets in Ireland. Questioning just how much credence we give to those who come before us, this is a unique exploration of humanity not often discussed. 5/5.

[K. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Alison Wearing came to Ireland to help her father trace their genealogical roots, but what she found ran much deeper. Less delving into the past, it centers more on the present. The community around them on their journey fuels forward an exploration of the father-daughter bond and what they truly mean to each other. The lurking outcome of her father’s diagnosis plays a constant beat against the revelations made both during their journey and looking back at what brought them to this point. Told with wit and a whole lot of love, I adored learning about Wearing’s father through her eyes and getting a glimpse at a relationship that has weathered a whole lot of ups and downs in order to bring them together, here, on a journey through Ireland and their lives.

[Brian Hale · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book . The author brought back memories of the last few years I had spent time with my father after my mother past . I would think back at times of when I would be frustrated with what he was doing. Only now to look back and be thankful for that time I had to get to know him .

[Sierra Cusson · Rating 2 out of 5]

'Moments of Glad Grace' is aptly named, as it holds a series of treasured moments between a father and daughter on their genealogical trek to Ireland. The encouragement to not let time pass you by without savoring the special memories that you have with loved ones is a big theme in this book, and probably one that can touch us all in some way. As Parkinson's disease is ravaging her father's body, Alison wants to live in those moments of glad grace that she is gifted with.

After listening to this book, I can see that Alison Wearing is a very talented writer and a deep thinker. The topic of genealogy spurs on questions of personal identity, what we are and aren't inherited by our ancestors, and even the deeper concepts of truth and transcendence. As this is a memoir, it is a faithful record of this family's trip to Ireland, which means that it includes all the hard slogging through genealogical records and lists, and that nothing largely significant happens. So for me, I wouldn't be able to call it a page-turner.

As a Christian, I think it is a good endeavor to read authors from different beliefs and backgrounds from myself. For example, with this author, I do not agree with the implied view of misogyny being such a leading cause of the evils done in history, and I have differing views on marriage. But things like these don't necessarily mean I won't read a book by an author. However, I was a little bothered by the author's descriptions of religion and church. As far as I can remember, they were all quite negative. Some examples include: talking about a place with "the reek of piety" as if piety is not a virtue to be prized; trying to think of the most heretical act she can conjure before entering a church library (she put on lipstick...?); says that she is releasing sinfully feminine pheromones by sweating, etc. Through short little pokes like that, I feel that Wearing is implying that Christians teach/think that women are inferior, more sinful than men, and the like. It is unfortunate if that has been Alison Wearing's experience with church or with professing Christians. Such things are not the teachings of Christ, and if you don't believe me, I suggest reading "Jesus Through the Eyes of Women" by Rebecca McLaughlin. The Bible teaches that women are treasured and they are equal in their worth to men in theirs.

The poem by William Butler Yeats is quoted at the beginning of the book, and is a poignant image of memories. Memories are precious, and more so when they are with those you love. On that, Alison and I agree. But as a Christian, I can have hope in this life knowing that even though I have to say goodbye to finite moments of glad grace, there is an eternal existence in the kind graces of Christ that await me where every sad tear will be wiped away and all will be made new.

"When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;

And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars." William Butler Yeats

[Harold Walters · Rating 4 out of 5]

Alison Wearing accompanies her octogenarian father to Dublin to assist him with his search for genealogical information. They spend hours and hours in library archival rooms.

Doesn’t sound like a fun read, eh b’ys?

But, let me tell you …

This is the most entertaining book I’ve read since the end of Daylight Savings Time.

Truly.

Alison and Joe — a man who speaks in “conversational lectures” — stay in a B&B with a cowhide rug that Amy calls Stephen Harper out of (dis)respect for Canada’s former Prime Minister.

Tee-hee.

In this memoir, realizing that Joe is — as Homer might say — “full of years”, and suffering the torment of Parkinson’s Disease, Alison writes with love and praise of her father.

She does so without being stuffy, despite the sometimes-musty nature of their research.

Mary Derry, for example, a “stuffy” records expert is described as “the personification of the words resident genealogical records expert.”

Tee-hee.

The National Library of Ireland’s Reader Handling Rule #10 tickles Alison’s funny bone: “Do not moisten a digit to aid in page turning.”

Tee-hee.

Alison confesses that she always seem to arrive at places like quiet library study rooms “with intestinal gas” and is then in a quandary regarding its release.

Tee-hee.

Alison Wearing’s writing is funny, sometimes roll-on-the-floor funny, but it is also warmly sensitive, especially when she speaks seriously of this quality time — these moments of glad grace — with her father.

But … I can’t resist …

Joe describes soon-to-be-president Donald Trump as having “…a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp.”

Tee-hee.

Listen, this book is well worth reading, so, brew up a pot of herbal tea and get to it.

[Jane Mulkewich · Rating 4 out of 5]

I attended a memoir writing workshop with the author Alison Wearing just a few days ago, and also a performance of her one-woman play "Confessions of a Fairy's Daughter"... and am grateful for the opportunity to buy a copy of her latest book "Moments of Glad Grace" a full six weeks before it will be launched. This is the story of her travelling to Ireland with her octogenarian gay political-scientist father (who has Parkinson's disease) for genealogical research, although she says she herself has zero interest in genealogy. In contrast, I am an avid genealogist, or someone with "progonoplexia" as she describes in her book. I also have other connections with this book, as I spent a year in Ireland as a young woman, had a family member with Parkinson's, and have an octogenarian father... so what's not to like about the subject matter? She carried a notebook in which she jotted down all the brilliant Irish turns of phrase she heard (the Irish really do have a way with words), and this author has a way with words herself - must be all that Irish heritage. A thoughtful book, including bits of Irish history, a gay theatre festival, and many moments of glad grace.

[Wendell Hennan · Rating 4 out of 5]

A promotional copy was gifted to me by the author as a result of my Goodreads review of Confessions of a Fairies Daughter. Alison travels with her father to Ireland on a genealogical trip. Her father is 80 and Alison has no interest in learning about her family tree or why ancestors chose to leave Ireland but decides to grab an opportunity to spend time with her father. She is to be his assistant taking notes but spends more time making notes about things about her father that impresses her. He is suffering Parkinsons but choses to largely ignore it. She recalls being embarrassed at her father’s lust for other men at times of her life but adds it to the list of things she admires about him now.

Written with great humour and her affection shines through. A trip that we all should be so fortunate to make with an aging parent before their travelling days are done. Thank you Alison for gently reminding us what is really important in life, family.

As a gay father, I truly appreciate her observations and thoughts about her gay father living his gay life.

[Lynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Alison Wearing is off to Dublin with her father to research her family's genealogy, something her father is passionate about and Alison not so much. She agrees to be her dad's research assistant as this may be the last trip the two can take together. Her father is 79 and has Parkinson's. Wearing is funny and engaging as she describes the tedious, eye straining work of poring over historical documents written in impossible to decipher cursive and very fine print.

Aside from the genealogy, this is a poignant story of a father/daughter relationship and the acknowledgement that time is passing. I wish I could have had an adventure like this with my dad.

Highly recommend the audio book, Wearing is also a performer and there are some laugh out loud moments during the narrative.

[Kim Wakeford · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was with a sense of wistfulness that I finished reading Alison Wearing's book, Moments of Glad Grace. For me, it was at times laugh-out-loud funny and also so poignant as to cause me to well up. I loved how Alison was able to recognize, appreciate and cherish so many of the special moments spent on her week-long trip to Ireland with her father.

[Christine · Rating 2 out of 5]

Wearing’s writing is gorgeous, unfortunately the memoir didn’t grab be as nothing really happens. This is an intensely personal book that I feel those who can perhaps relate to more would love.





Thanks to ECW for the ARC

[Kathy Stinson · Rating 2 out of 5]

The author says in the back matter that she started out to write a magazine article. For me that would have been enough. Gems among repetitive material about how bored she was by her father’s obsession with genealogy which sadly I could relate to.

[Alison Colvin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Something for everyone in this touching, sometimes funny memoir of a daughter accompanying her aged father/professor to Dublin in search of his past. Librarians and archivists might enjoy the descriptions of Dublin libraries, and history buffs, the snippets of quite depressing Irish history. Wearing is an engaging writer.

An aside: I took a first year political science course with Joe Wearing. He was a most engaging prof!

[Mimi · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed Alison’s reading of this story, I can understand how she does well in her one act plays on stage. I am happy to support Canadian authors and look forward to reading more of her work.

[Andrea · Rating 1 out of 5]

I received a free copy of this book in order to review it. I have previously listed Alison Wearing's books as some of my favorites.

The intent of Alison Wearing's description of researching her family genealogy in Ireland seems to be showing the tedium of attempting such a task. As she describes:

"I am also less than ravenous for my own history because I have never had to hunger for it. Only the contrary; like most other Canadian children, I was force-fed Anglo culture, its mores and institutions, its colonial narratives taught to us as history, presented proudly and unquestioningly as fact. By the time I finished school, I felt bloated by it all, weary of its dominance and implied superiority ashamed at the arrogance, the smugness, the blind conceit. What I longed for were the stories that had no such prominence, the buried histories, the quieter voices. The things that never got written down that left no record. I wanted to winkle out the information where I could and imagine the rest. Create what was believably true but unprovable."

As the author also emphasizes:

"Surely, it only matters who we are in the world right now, what we offer, share, give, inspire-today, tomorrow, and every day beyond that. Rather than defining ourselves by our personal histories, shouldn't we be looking to transcend them, to see the shadow they might cast on the ground and then move into our fullest light, the greatest potential of who we can become-how kind, how generous, how free-regardless of who came before us and whatever infamy or glory they might have attained?"

To balance the descriptions of tedium while researching her family tree, Alison Wearing includes stories of experiences in Ireland with her aging father who was also dealing with Parkinson's. Her father's quest to research family genealogy at first seems irrelevant, but as the author bonds with her dad, their relationship towards family also shifts.

Unfortunately, the author's intent to describe this tedious process also created tedious reading. Having read other books by Alison Wearing that I describe as being some of my favorites, I was disappointed by the negativity of this book that made me feel as if I was plodding along with her. I didn't end up finishing the book, which was surprising to me given the fact that I loved her other titles.

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was given an ARC copy of this book because I had read (and thoroughly enjoyed) Confessions of a Fairy's Daughter. Having loved that book so much, I was somewhat primed to be disappointed (or at least not as wowed by) this one, so take this review with a grain of salt.

I really enjoyed the beautifully descriptive, poetic prose of Wearing's writing, and the story is filled with little tidbits of wisdom. One of my favourite passages is a reflection on the importance of not rushing through life: "I know how easy it is to rush to the next distraction, hurtle carelessly past beauty, let life barrel past. I've done that for too much of my life: run ahead, kept one eye on the lookout for something more exciting, been so trained on future possibilities that I miss what is lying, peacefully and exquisitely, in front of me. And I don't want to do that anymore. I don't want to take anything for granted, not even this small moment. I want to appreciate it all."

My big issue with the book is that nothing happens. Literally. Wearing and her father spend a week in Ireland doing genealogical research, and the most exciting things are the meals they eat in pubs. Through her craft, Wearing makes a week of nothing about as interesting as humanly possible, but I still desperately longed for "something more exciting" to hold my attention. If I hadn't been writing a review in exchange for the ARC, I may not have bothered to finish it.

[Margery Margery Reynolds · Rating 5 out of 5]

I attended one of the Eden Mills Festival Events, Great Expectations which involved 3 memoir authors. Each author read a chapter from their most recent memoir and I fell in love with Alison Wearing's Moments of Glad Grace instantly. I highly recommend it. It's a segment of her life when she and her almost 80 year old Parkinsons suffering father went to Dublin on a hunt for their ancestral roots. Since Alison had little interest in the genealogical side of things but was keen to know stories more than dates/times/places, as a "story teller" myself I could relate but as someone who has been studying my own family's roots for more than 25 years, the genealogical side of things twigged with me too. My current WIP is loosely based on my Irish ancestors and I've done the trek in search of their details, so I get it, all of it. Probably most inspiring though was the eagerness she had in spending time with her Dad and as my mother had Parkinsons I could certainly vision that as well. Some parts of Moments of Glad Grace is laugh out loud funny, some parts of it will make you cry but undoutedly all of it, is written from the heart. Thank you Alison Wearing for sharing a little of your life with the rest of us.

[Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a huge fan of good memoir, Alison Wearing really blew it out of the park for me with "Moments of Glad Grace". Very little actually happens in this book about Alison's journey to Dublin with her almost 80 year old gay father to act as his research assistant while he pursues arcane family genealogy in the mustiest and dustiest of Irish libraries. Alison has absolutely no interest in genealogy, but loves her father and realizes that his early Parkinson's disease will preclude any other future travel. Thus, this memoir becomes an exploration of the meaning of family and an appreciation of the fleeting and often fragile moments of grace that we spend together. The book is only enhanced by Wearing's ability to produce delightful and often comic prose composed with a scorching honesty.
It was a joy to revisit Dublin with Alison and her dad, and I'm still chuckling over some of Alison's observations, and most especially this one she offered after reading one too many ancient tomes of archaic English -
"It must be because of prose like this that a prison term became known as a sentence."

[Barbara Shoag · Rating 5 out of 5]

I LOVED this book! It is a sweet, poignant, sensitive, funny and very easy to read book about the author, a middle aged woman, and her aging 80 year old father as they spend a week together in Dublin on a genealogical search for his ancestors. From the Turd Space Cafe (read Third) to her lugging 30 pound tomes up and down library ladders to find that gr-gr-gr-gr-gr-great grandmonther or father, it's full of fun, history, lots of eye rolling and interesting folks. I also loved Allison Waring's prior book "Confession's of a Fairy's Daughter" which tells of his gradual coming out at a gay man. She writes beautifully and has a wry send of humor. I promise you won't be disappointed!!

[Kathleen McRae · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a quote from this book on The Great Famine in Ireland. " The main players were the landlords, most of whom lived in England and might have visited their land only once. or twice in a lifetime, and the middlemen, who were described in an 1845 British Royal Commission report on land laws in Ireland as the most oppressive species of tyrant that ever lent assistance to the destruction of a country. "This book is a lovely read both as a memoir of love and the history of the two big destructions that happened in Ireland. the property bubble that burst in 2008 that left each taxpayer heavily in debt for many years after.

[Sylvia Clare · Rating 5 out of 5]

wonderful read of a relationship between adult daughter and gay father over ten days in Dublin on family background quest. Memoir when it works is truly inspiring adn insightful to teh human condition. Full of lighthearted humour and deeper reflection on self, other and the historic others upon whose shoulders we now stand. Lovely to see my dear friend Deirdre mentioned in the credits too as editor - always gives me a buzz. Deffo if you like memoir read this one. I am also followign her memoir writing course at present too and thoroughly enjoying it all - having met up witha coupel of truly like minded people on there who I hope will beccome firm friends.

[MacK · Rating 1 out of 5]

I very rarely am unable or unwilling to finish a book. This, however, is one of them. I got about 30% of the way through and couldn’t keep going. It did not capture my attention, and was so incredibly tedious and frankly boring. What really bothered me the most and put me off enough to keep going was her attitude towards everything. It reads like it was written by someone in their early 20’s, just seemingly so annoyed by this task she willingly went on with her father and almost ungrateful to be spending time with him doing what he passionately loves. I honestly couldn’t believe this is a woman in her 50’s.

[S. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a quiet jewel of a book. On the surface it’s the story of a trip - and the humour and the description of the trip is always engaging. And it’s also a story of Wearing reconciling herself with her father’s Parikinson’s disease. However, The real story,as far as I’m concerned,is Wearing’s own struggle with the significance of her past and also her struggle about going through the coming-of-age that happens when one is older and needs to parent the parent.
It’s a rich and layered book with so much good - natured humour.

[Sue Trav · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a beautiful, poetic story of a dad and his daughter. The premise is sad as she is accompanying her dad on his final research trip as he is almost 80 and has Parkinson’s disease. I have not caught the genealogical research bug so I could really relate to her disdain of the mundane task of microfiche!

This book is part humour, part memoir and part philosophy.

Some of my favourite funny parts:
‘When we planned this trip a few months ago, I did understand that the focus of our time would be genealogy, but only now – just this minute – I am coming to terms with the uncontested prominence of that focus. Naively, perhaps, I’d be assuming there might be a limit to the number of hours my dad would want to spend swotting in libraries, and, what with his age, I suppose I thought that the number might be quite small. My vision had been something more along the lines of an Irish Genealogy Lite package: a few hours every morning in libraries and archives, a long pub lunch, and the rest of the day free to explore the city or wander the countryside together. But this appears to be the Irish Genealogy Deluxe Workhorse package.’

‘Tells me that when he was a boy, he wished he had been called Margrave, the alternate name his parents had been considering for him. “I just couldn’t think of a lovelier name than Margrave,” he says rhapsodically. And for the nth time in my life, I wonder how it was that his coming out came as a surprise to anyone.’

She talks about the obsession with genealogy and how it is second only to pornography in the most visited websites category. ‘Recently a friend of mine received a DNA kit as a Christmas gift from his father, who was terrifically excited about the technology until it was revealed that he was not actually his son’s, uh, father.

I loved the little notes she recorded about her dad in her notebook (or on a piece of paper or coaster that was handy). Trying her best to remember and capture him before he is consumed by the disease.

This book is also a sobering reminder that the documents they were viewing in Ireland are the 'same sorts of documents that tore Indigenous homelands into strips and parceled them out to settlers in what would become knowns as Canada…documents designed to annihilate existing nations and clear the way for settlements, railways, mass deforestation…documents of dominion and possession that were contorted to confuse….'

‘Back to Canada, more than a year after this Irish sojourn and inspired by it. I grew curious about my maternal grandfather’s parents, the minister and his wife who had lived among the Cree in northern Ontario, I wanted to know their names, to learn a bit of wo they were, to draw their stories into my own….I found confirmation that Percy Renaud Soanes had been an Anglican minister in Chapleau, Ontario, But then I snagged onto something horrific – evidence that he had also been principal of St John’s Indian Residential School from 1909 – 1912. Who knows what was done in the name of God, civilization, assimilation? Regardless, this knowledge has coloured everything now.’

Her love for her dad shines through. ‘I want to be someone who accepts what life serves and carries on without complaint, someone who is forever reaching for the next taste of joy. I want to be someone so filed with curiosity and determination that I trundle around foreign cities looking for obscure pieces of a puzzle that might help me understand who I am, and still be game for Zumba when I’m eighty. I want to giggle and scurry and speak only well of people, to sing in a Mennonite choir, take an erotic massage course, celebrate nothing in particular and Just Let Things Go. I want to lack self-consciousness, to care passionately about all manner of things, to devote myself to be curious and open-minded, to listen and nod, laugh at every opportunity, and to have all the time in the world for love. Perhaps this is what a legacy truly is.’

[Virginia Brackett · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was unfamiliar with Alison Wearing's previous works, but I thoroughly enjoyed and can recommend Moments of Glad Grace: A Memoir to readers who enjoy learning as they are entertained and challenged to think about both familiar and unfamiliar topics. Although she does not share his passion for delving into facts about their ancestors, Wearing accompanies her father on a genealogical search to Ireland. Readers learn that her father is gay and some details about his painful, but ultimately triumphant, coming out, a topic covered in Wearing's previous memoir and bestseller, Confessions of a Fairy's Daughter. They enjoy a positive relationship, but Wearing hopes to further strengthen that relationship during their trip. Her study of this father/daughter relationship is both endearing and honest in its examination of their differences and similarities. I especially appreciate the list she makes of all of the things she loves about her father, even at times when he supremely annoys her. The on-going discussion of their different views regarding "truth" and the value of knowledge of one's family's past to the development of self-identity is one all readers should find of interest. An additional benefit of this memoir is its information about Ireland and all that the people of that country have suffered. That information is presented with humor and detail that will draw in readers who did not know they were at all interested in Irish history. One caveat: some readers may be put off by the too-precious supposed confusion by the narrator of the term genealogy with the term gynecology at the beginning of the book. Thankfully Wearing drops that bit soon after the memoir's opening.

[Alandra · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a delightful concept for a memoir. I love the whole scenario, the thought-provoking and controversial images the author brings up about colonialism and misogyny, the honesty of the author, her way of wording things, and the humor woven throughout.

I was not prepared, however, for the fact that much of the book would be about her dad coming out as gay when she was 12 years old and leaving their family. To each their own, and I completely get that it's a memoir, so Ms. Wearing is very well entitled to write about whatever the heck she wants, but I did not enjoy the multiple times she described her dad's ogling of people in the book. It doesn't matter the gender; it was just slightly disturbing to read about an 80 year old man sexually objectifying people more than half his age.
There was also a great deal of negativity towards the United States to wade through. Much of that can be warranted, and I will welcome it in many settings if it is productive. However this book really had nothing to do with the United States, so the author's frequent jabs at my own country were just mildly annoying. I was more interested in her and her father's genealogical journey than in her thoughts toward the USA or her father's sexual tendencies. (If they had included some of that in the book description, maybe I would have a better attitude about it.)

If that doesn't bother you or you can push through, this book is a lovely portrait of humanity and a unique father/daughter relationship and research trip.

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

Listen to this book if you can. Wearing reads her book and she's fantastic. Her voice lifts even the dullest of genealogy details and her Irish accent transports. This is a beautifully funny and endearing book.

Wearing bookends her memoir with words from Yeats, you know, because it's about a trip to Ireland with her 80 year old Dad. And her choices are perfect. Everything that could veer off into the cliche fails to do so. Wearing's observations about her Dad are lovely. Her portrait of the Irish people she encounters, brilliant.

Sometimes her musings about her own lack of drama in the family line (i.e. no valiant underdogs) can be a bit too much, but I loved her exploration of the stories and imaginings and the ways in which they might matter as much as her dad's beloved facts.

The language is fabulous. She calls out a persnickety librarian for her extremely highbrow language and yet, Wearing herself is a wizzard with language. I think I counted 3 uses of "ebullient" alone. I had to look up the spelling of that.

The descriptions of library spaces are remarkable, transcendent and then she inserts her issues with stomach gas. Relatable.

Her Dad is a character ("'You know, patriarchy'...followed by an airy wave") & now I have to read her first memoir about his coming out. Their relationship is so interesting. I found her descriptions of the ways in which her Dad accepts the mounting intrusions of his Parkinson's Disease so tender.

A gem.