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The Codependency Trap
Florence grew up in New York at a time where women were rebelling against the traditional roles of gender. The pressure to pursue a career felt overwhelming because she didn’t have a strong sense of self. Searching for a simple life, she took the familiar route of her mother and become a wife and mother. Sheltered within the institution of marriage, she devoted herself to family life and escaped the pressures of society. Working in her husband’s business, she slowly develops her self-confidence and even goes back to school. After thirty years of marriage, the children are grown and out of the house. What could go wrong?
252 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 8, 2011
9 people are currently reading
22 people want to read
About the author
Janet Sierzant
34 books7 followersBorn in New York, Janet relocated to Atlanta Georgia and began her writing career. In 2008, she retired to Vero Beach Florida and started La Maison Publishing, Inc.
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Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews
July 12, 2019
Marriage, growth, pain. Things we all experience at a certain points in our lives. The first time I heard about Codependency I thought it's not a "thing" but I have to say after reading this book, after living in the mind of Florence for a few days, I can now see how this affects people. We all want to please those we love, but the point where their needs rise well above our own, is a self inflicted torture. A torture we have no control over. St John, has written this book so well that it takes you into the thinking and habits of a Codependent and knowing that this is a story of her life, only shines light of her bravery and strength.
December 3, 2017
Reviewed For Readers' Favorite by Grant Leishman
Searching For The Shire by Florence St. John takes us on a journey of self-discovery through one woman’s life. Florence had always felt tolerated, rather than unconditionally loved, as a child and she spent her adult years seeking acceptance and yes, love, through a series of relationships and/or marriages that, it seemed were almost convenient, rather than for all the right reasons. Growing up in the 60’s and 70’s, at a time when women were stretching their arms and seeking more from the world, Florence decided to take the route of least resistance, that of marriage and motherhood. This would lead her eventually to the realisation that she was co-dependant and always needed other’s approval for her own happiness. In time, she will discover that it is okay to say “No” and it is okay to worry about your own personal mental health, than to always focus on “fixing up” others.
As someone who has lived a co-dependent relationship, in the past, I found Searching For The Shire to be a clarion call to my psyche. Reading Florence St. John’s words and deeds, I experienced many “Aha” moments as I was able to relate to her “need to be needed”. I suspect this issue is felt more intensely by women, but as a man, who has experienced these issues, I was very easily able to relate to her thought processes and decision making. At the end of the day, this book can give real hope and a path out of co-dependency for anyone suffering from this. The book is simply a summation of St. John’s life that led her to the point of needing to find an answer to her continual problems. My biggest takes from this story were 1/ It’s okay to be alone and 2/ How can you expect anyone else to love you unconditionally, when you don’t even love yourself? I think this book would prove very useful for those suffering from co-dependency or feelings of inadequacy.
Searching For The Shire by Florence St. John takes us on a journey of self-discovery through one woman’s life. Florence had always felt tolerated, rather than unconditionally loved, as a child and she spent her adult years seeking acceptance and yes, love, through a series of relationships and/or marriages that, it seemed were almost convenient, rather than for all the right reasons. Growing up in the 60’s and 70’s, at a time when women were stretching their arms and seeking more from the world, Florence decided to take the route of least resistance, that of marriage and motherhood. This would lead her eventually to the realisation that she was co-dependant and always needed other’s approval for her own happiness. In time, she will discover that it is okay to say “No” and it is okay to worry about your own personal mental health, than to always focus on “fixing up” others.
As someone who has lived a co-dependent relationship, in the past, I found Searching For The Shire to be a clarion call to my psyche. Reading Florence St. John’s words and deeds, I experienced many “Aha” moments as I was able to relate to her “need to be needed”. I suspect this issue is felt more intensely by women, but as a man, who has experienced these issues, I was very easily able to relate to her thought processes and decision making. At the end of the day, this book can give real hope and a path out of co-dependency for anyone suffering from this. The book is simply a summation of St. John’s life that led her to the point of needing to find an answer to her continual problems. My biggest takes from this story were 1/ It’s okay to be alone and 2/ How can you expect anyone else to love you unconditionally, when you don’t even love yourself? I think this book would prove very useful for those suffering from co-dependency or feelings of inadequacy.
Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews