Can I Give You a Squish?

by Emily Neilson

An important lesson about consent for over-exuberant little huggers, nestled inside this lighthearted, summery story about expressions of love and friendship.

Kai is a little mer-boy who's big on hugs--or "squishes," as he and his mama call them. Not everyone's a fan of Kai's spirited embrace though, which he discovers soon after squishing a puffer fish, who swells up in fright! Kai feels awful; but with the help of his friends, he figures out another way to show his affection, and then everyone demonstrates their preferred ways of being greeted. Because, as Kai realizes, "Every fish likes their own kind of squish."

Genres: Picture Books, Childrens, Storytime, Friendship, Mermaids, Fiction, Fantasy

32 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2020

Reviews

[Elita ₊✩ˎˊ˗]

One of my favorite books to read to my students!!! It teaches consent in a very child-friendly way and the underwater graphics make it exciting for the kids.

It’s about a boy who enjoys giving “squishes” (hugs) to others and one day, he gives a hug to a pufferfish who doesn’t want to be hugged. The boy feels terrible that he made someone uncomfortable and starts asking others how they want to be shown affection instead of giving them squishes without asking. Then, he shares the lesson he learned with his mother. It’s a sweet, educational book perfect for toddlers and young children.

[Jillian · Rating 5 out of 5]

A super cute picture book & fantastic way to teach consent to kids.

[Amber · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gorgeous illustrations accompany excellent text that helps little ones understand that not everyone likes to be hugged or touched. An adorable and wonderful way to introduce the concept of consent to a young audience.

[Beth · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you’re looking for a book to talk with kids about the concept of consent that is instructive but not overly didactic, look no further than CAN I GIVE YOU A SQUISH.

[Boops boops · Rating 5 out of 5]

UGH YES SO CUTE

[Ari · Rating 4 out of 5]

My kid does not love hugs from strangers in the least, so I think it's somehow liberating for him to read a book about this matter, to see - once again - that he is not the only one and that his emotions are perfectly normal - even though the books shows actually the other side of the coin ;)

PS: the illustrations are lovely!

[Villain E · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is basically perfect. A merboy named Kai likes to give hugs, which he calls squishes. He hugs his mom and a number of undersea friends. He goes to hug a puffer fish who doesn't want to be hugged and puffs up and gets all spiky. Kai feels bad, but he doesn't understand why the puffer didn't want a hug. The other animals suggest that maybe the puffer prefers a different way of physically expressing friendship. They come up with the fin bump, and the puffer is comfortable with that. Kai intuits that maybe the other animals have preferred physical expressions and they do tail slaps and tentacle shakes and such. Kai shows all the things he learned to his mom, who is very encouraging but also still wants a hug.

This book manages to be very positive and fun while teaching respect and physical boundries. And the art is cute.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderfully non-didactic way to introduce the concept of consent to the littlest reader. Not everyone likes to be touched, and people prefer different kinds of greetings/touching. Kai is a little mer-boy who loves to give "squishes" (hugs). When he accidentally scares another fish by giving an unwanted squish, he's mortified and seeks to find better ways to express affection. This is a beautifully illustrated book with easy-to-read text that makes a great one-on-one or group read aloud!

[MeganRuth - Alohamora Open a Book · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Every fish likes their own kind of squish."

There are huggers out there and there are those that aren't huggers. A great, easy to understand read, for toddlers and preschoolers that will remind kids to ask others if they'd like a squish aka hug, hand shake, high five, etc.

[Abigail Stout · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great message!

[Kim Stock]

Great way to teach kids about consent and finding ways to express love or friendship in a way that makes people comfortable.

[BookDrunkard is on storygraph as bookdrunkard78 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully illustrated. A great way to introduce consent to littles in a gentle way. Acknowledges that not everyone likes to be hugged or touched.

[Dilki · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very cute! with beautiful illustrations.

[Timothy Morrison]

Very campy and cute🌈🌈

[Simplekind · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such a great way to introduce the idea of consent to your little ones. Loved this book.

[Zoe · Rating 5 out of 5]

I needed a squish after reading this. Too cute.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kai loves to give hugs to all his friends, but realizes that not all fishes like "squishes." A irrepressibly cute look at consent and respect.

[Jared White · Rating 4 out of 5]

A book about an enthusiastic hugger in which the hugger actually learns others may not always share their enthusiasm! We need more books like this (maybe especially during the whole COVID thing).

Kai loves giving squishes (hugs) and his friends don't mind receiving them but when Kai gives a squish to a new friend (aka a stranger) without asking permission first, the new friend becomes upset and/or scared. Kai's friends then help him come up with an alternative to a hug and he is able to find one that his new friend enjoys (and asks permission before doing it).

I like that the book doesn't stop there but rather Kai takes it one step further to ask his other friends what greetings they enjoy (they do enjoy his squishes but also have some other fun greetings they enjoy). He then shares all of these new greetings with his mama, she thanks him but lets him know that she likes squishes the best.

The art is this is adorable and does a wonderful job of illustrating various emotions on the characters (being uncomfortable, upset, nervous, happy). This is a serious message but also has a bit of humor mixed in as well.

Hmm, I just noticed Kai never apologizes, I suppose he does make amends by approaching the new friend and acknowledging that they don't like hugs and offers an alternative (and allowing the friend to be the one who approaches for the "fin bump").

[Carrie Finison · Rating 5 out of 5]

Can I Give You a Squish is about Kai, a mer-boy who loves to affectionately squish his friends, but discovers that not all of them love to be squished. First of all, I love that this story is about a merBOY! Mer-people can't all be girls, can they? Secondly, I love the gorgeous underwater world that Emily Neilson created. But most of all, I love that this book introduces the idea that not everyone loves to be hugged (or squished) and that there are other forms of greeting or showing affection that can be just as fun. Pufferfish likes fin bumps. Dolphin likes tail claps. Octopus likes tentacle shakes. Crab likes claw pinches (ouch!) Kai enthusiastically participates in all these instead of giving each fish a squish. This well-done story will be a good starting point to talk with children about how they like to be greeted and show affection.

[Shaye Miller · Rating 4 out of 5]

Personally, I always enjoy a close squish with my littles. But would my next door neighbor like a squish? What about the postal employee who drops off my mail? Can I squish my dentist? Perhaps not everyone wants to be greeted with a squish and it's always helpful to ask before touching someone. With adorable illustrations, this young merman learns this important lesson so that everyone in his area of the ocean will feel appreciated while not being touched in ways that make them feel uncomfortable. The artwork in this picture book was created digitally.

For more children's literature, middle grade literature, and YA literature reviews, feel free to visit my personal blog at The Miller Memo!

[Erin · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great introduction in easy-to-understand dialog about showing respect, and showing love to our friends. A merboy goes about his day greeting friends and strangers but quickly learns that not everyone likes to be squished “hugged.” The title provides the perfect conversation starter with little ones on different ways to show affections besides hugging. The art is delightful as you swim through the ocean with the character.
Highly recommend this adorable and sweet story! Ages preschool to seven.

[Aolund · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a lovely story. Kai, a mer-child with tan brown skin, an orange tail, and wavy black hair, loves giving "squishes", or hugs, but learns that there are other ways to express your affection for someone when a puffer fish he hugs one day says that they do not like hugs! A super sweet and effective books about bodily autonomy and consent, with lovely illustrations.

Themes: Consent; Friends
Age range: 3-7

[Alicia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reminding me of the viral videos of teachers who have posters outside of their classrooms for students to tap which kind of greeting they'd like each morning, this picture book coincides with the same concept: not everyone wants a hug, not everyone wants a handshake, so it's best to ask.

The beautiful sea colors of our friend who lives in the sea with his other sea-faring friends (pufferfish, octopus, etc.) are delightful to look at.

[Joey Gremillion · Rating 1 out of 5]

The "Me Too" and other movements continue to attack boys with a subtle, deceptively charming story about a boy who loves to give "squishes" (hugs) yet MUST BE TAUGHT to resepect others' disdain for them. For the record, there are those of us who are introverts and don't like hugging and kissing. Why make the character a male? Girls tend to hug more than boys and there are both girls and boys who, like me, are introverted. Another not-so-subtle attack on males.

[Flossmoor Public Library (IL) · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars

I am a huge hugger, for sure. Therefore, I know exactly how the main character, Kai, feels when he gives his friends hugs, or at least attempts to. Some of his sea friends are not comfortable in the way Kai shows his love for them. Kai needs to figure out how to show his friends affection in other ways besides a “Squishy”. Super cute book and the illustrations are beautiful.

- Miss Jenny

[Jill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honestly this book could be bad and I'd still give it lots of stars because I loved the illustrations!

This is a nice story about a merboy who hugs all the time and upsets a fish who doesn't like to be hugged. It touches on consent, which is great.

I am not a hugger and I neverrrr initiate a hug unless it's with Ken or George. So maybe that affected my rating. But whatevs - this is a great book with nice illustrations!

[Alissa Tsaparikos · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a sweet little story about a little merboy who learns about consent when he realizes not everyone wants a squish (his version of a hug). He explores all the different ways you can show affection and how all his friends have different preferences. I really liked the illustrations which were vibrant and fun, as well as the fact that the boy and his mother are merpeople of color. This picture book helps children consider the importance of consent, a topic of huge importance to start early with kids. I highly recommend it.

[Hannah Jane · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not everybody likes squishes or hugs! When Kai gives Puffer Fish an unwanted hug he learns about all the ways his friends and family like to be greeted. Octopus likes tentacle shakes, Dolphin likes fin bumps, and his mom likes squishes. This is a great book to use as a platform to talk about tricky topics like touching, consent, and how others like to be greeted and shown affection. My favorite moment happens when puffer fish puffs up “like a water balloon, which is what puffer fish do when they are scared or upset.” This demonstrates social cues in such a simple way and provides space to talk about them. Puffer Fish also lets Kai know that he doesn’t like to be squished, which illustrates that we can politely let others know when something makes us uncomfortable. Neilson beautifully explores some big topics in Can I Give You a Squish, and if I could, I would give her a squish for her beautiful effort. But only if she’s ok with squishes!

[Viviane Elbee · Rating 5 out of 5]

A cute little merboy likes squishing (hugging?) all the sea animals and more, but one day he meets a pufferfish who does not like being squished. Kai, the merboy, ends up learning that different sea animals all have their own ways of expressing affection.
This book can be used to have discussions about hugging and touching others with little ones, so that they know different people may have different ways of expressing affection too!

[Rhonda Jenkins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great for the beginning of the year reading (and throughout as a reminder)! Not all want to hug! Find another way to greet each other to show respect for the feelings of others. Such a cute story!! I love how Kai is so concerned after he hurts someone's feelings. Such empathy, something our students need to learn!