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Bullied #1
Bullied
I have always been bullied and trapped in darkness. I hoped life would get better when I moved to my mother's hometown, but it only got worse because it was there that I met my unrequited crush, Hayden Black.
He despised me from day one, and even more when I became best friends with his twin, Kayden. Kayden gave light to my life, but my happiness with him lasted only until one night two years ago.
That night Kayden died because of me.
Half of me died with him. The other half was left to bleed, suffering Hayden's and his friends' constant bullying.
Now I must endure one more year before I can finally escape them and go to college. This year has to be different.
Either I will become stronger, or they will finally break me into nothing.
Warning: This book contains mature and sensitive themes such as abuse, violence, and offensive language. It includes situations that may be triggering for some readers, so caution is advised.
He despised me from day one, and even more when I became best friends with his twin, Kayden. Kayden gave light to my life, but my happiness with him lasted only until one night two years ago.
That night Kayden died because of me.
Half of me died with him. The other half was left to bleed, suffering Hayden's and his friends' constant bullying.
Now I must endure one more year before I can finally escape them and go to college. This year has to be different.
Either I will become stronger, or they will finally break me into nothing.
Warning: This book contains mature and sensitive themes such as abuse, violence, and offensive language. It includes situations that may be triggering for some readers, so caution is advised.
306 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2016
283 people are currently reading
2265 people want to read
About the author
Vera Micic
4 books254 followersVera Micic now writes as Vera Hollins.
Check out her new profile to stay up to date with her new and upcoming books: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Check out her new profile to stay up to date with her new and upcoming books: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 249 reviews
May 26, 2023
This is a wattpad book. Now, this didn't start by Sarah waking up only to look into the mirror and see how plain she is, tie her bird's nest into a "messy bun" and all that Wattpad unnecessary details. No. It was way worse.
There are twins named Hayden and Kayden in this book. I repeat Hayden and Kayden. If that ain't the worse thing you could do, I don't know what is.
Here's a list of worse things that could be found in three hundred pages of garbage:
1)Awkward plain girl with no personality✓
2) A crazy-ass love interest that does illegal stuff and writes emo poetry about his "darkness"✓
3) The crazy ass douchebag bullies her✓
4)He sexually assaults her✓
5)He pushes her against a wall and throttles her✓
5.5) he also pushes her down the stairs, I forgot about that lol✓
6) The bullying is justified by a mixture of mental illness, mommy issues daddy issues and being the ugly twin✓
7) He is forgiven because...he's mentally ill??✓
8) Preaching about positivity and misconceptions about BPD and people with mental health issues, when this whole book is a huge misconception and by no means reflects reality✓
I could actually go on forever, this is only the first book.
Let's start with the obvious (see title): the bullying. What an utter joke. I've gathered that those guys' words are supposed to be terrifying, but my four year old niece can come up with better insults. It was still horrifying though. Those guys were vile.
So basically, the bullies in this book (otherwise known as love interests) are sort of like high functioning dementia patients. They're horrible. In a tone-deaf way- hear me out. I don't think the author understands bullying. You see, teenagers, we have a thing called a "moral compass". A sense of fairness/ a sense of going too far. In fact, even babies have the capability to feel empathy.
The whole book contradicts this.
Yeah, hundreds of kids in a school are ok with beating the shit out of people and humiliating them in the middle of a hallway for no reason and cheer along. Yeah, no.
Teenagers can be horrible, yes, but this is not the French Revolution. Sit down.
They also make public Instagram accounts making fun of those kids and laughing at things like "food slut" and NO ONE bats an eye. Bullying happens like that, but it's way more subtle. Subtle enough for people to get carried away and be horrible, but still feel like they're fair and good and human. This is anything but.
And that brings us to Hayden.
He doesn't just call her names. He really hurts her. Physically, emotionally and sexually. This dude BLACKMAILS HER WITH NUDES HE TOOK OF HER WHILE SHE WAS CHANGING IN HER ROOM, SO HE CAN CONTROL HER LIFE. When that doesn't work he kidnaps her & threatens to rape her while throttling her before leaving her alone in the middle of the woods at night. He takes her groceries and starts throwing tomatoes and eggs at her in the middle of the street. He gropes and kisses her forcibly, out of pure, sickening hate.
Anyway, this is Wattpad enough that Hayden's two friends end up with Sarah's two friends. The thing is, in Jessica's book (Sarah's friend), Vera tries to write a story about accepting yourself and your weight and her books are supposedly all about diversity and different body types. Sarah is super skinny and tall, Jessica is heavy and short and Melissa is curvy.
But here's the thing; this only applies to girls. The guys are either 6 feet of muscle (and "masculine power" yikes) or just NOT romantic interests.
Or gay.
Yes, the token gay couple consists of a stuttering guy, Kevin, with no other personality trait other than being shy and nerdy (he's in the choir and has a crush on Hayden for fuck's sake) and he's only there to make Sarah and Jessica look nice and supportive. He ends up with another choir nerd who is also there to be the token black character that has literally no personality AT ALL. They're both lanky and mildly attractive and are written like those poor precious things full of purity with elbow patches or whatever.
1)So we have this ridiculously unsubtle middle ages torture in the middle of the streets of England. (Not the middle ages, not in Nazi Germany, but in today's England.) I guess police and security cameras took a huge break and took a family vacation. How convenient that you do this in a story where speaking out just doesn't work. Great advice, really.
2)Hayden and his two besties, Blake and Masen are basically various editions of macho man. They are star football AND basketball athletes, write poetry and songs, illegally car race AND fight. They're also 6 feet tall, they have six packs & enough time to hit the gym. Everyone at school loves them even if they beat the shit out of some girl in the middle of the hallway. Oh wait I forgot, Hayden also plays the bass and likes computers and is a genius.
By the way Hayden and Blake have serious life ruining mental health issues? Like... Oh i don't know, disorders like BPD and SEVERE PTSD (the whole hallucinations, nightmares, depression type.)
Mentally ill people can be unmotivated. They can be antisocial. Some of them can neglect eating and showering for days at a time, much less be this ridiculously perfect superhumans. If you wanna write about seriously difficult disorders, your characters actually have to be... depressed. Shocking, I know. Who would of thought, mental illness is not extreme violence and abuse.It's...an illness. That holds you back. Especially socially. Wow. Groundbreaking stuff right here. If the writer wanted to violence, she shouldn't have brought mental illness into this.
3) They all end up with each other. Do I even need to talk about how ridiculous that is? PS Hayden and Sarah are mildly irritating but JESSICA AND BLAKE ARE JUST PLAIN AGGRAVATING. They're genuinely horrible people.
4) there are also teenagers (plural not just one) that attempt murder...I mean, what are the odds?
Hayden doesn't resemble a person with BPD at all. He reminds me more of someone that escaped an asylum, to be honest. Or someone on heavy drugs 24/7. The author explains that "not every person with BPD is the same" or some shit like that and it just felt straight up patronizing. Clearly: you don't know shit about BPD or social situations in general, I get it. But straight up denying you don't know shit...Not cool, Vera. Not cool.
Hayden is like a caricature of BPD, which is crudely used in such a hurtful and insensitive way to justify the abuse, crime and sexual harassment to another person.
I gathered that Vera wants to show people that mental health issues don't necessarily mean "crazy" or "mean", but she's doing an absolutely HORRIBLE job of making a point. She's like a little kid at the Christmas dinner trying to engage in the grown-up conversation but failing miserably. I think that Vera had good intentions, but this book is quite negative and I'd say pretty horrible towards people with BPD, who are already stigmatized enough as it is.
People with BPD or other issues don't always bully. Sure, their unstable perspective of things can make them act different than others or they can lash out without thinking of the consequences or they can be abusive but...come on, can you blame bpd for all this?
sexual assault
murder attempt
hitting her
pushing her off the stairs
Saying some pretty twisted things to her
Throttling her
Controlling her life
Almost every bully or mean person (that gets to say or do something in the book) has mental health issues. Every other person barely gets any attention.
The author wrote her poor Google researched version of a really complex behavior that not even people with the disorder know a lot about and put it in her book and present it as the definition of BPD when she knows her main audience is a bunch of teenage girls that have never heard of the disorder.
Hayden, Mason, Blake (I don't really know what he's dealing with but I bet he has a sob story and a disorder to back it up. I don't know, MDD, PTSD, BPD, BDSM- oops wrong book. sorry erase the last one).
Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, every bully has mental health issues, or he or she is so mean that can only be described as crazy.
There's no one that you can truly relate to, not the bullies, not the MC...I think that there's too much drama going on and the extremity of this made me snort instead of cry. TOO MUCH DRAMA.
And the thing is, instead of encouraging people, teenagers who read this, to speak out, this book is doing the exact opposite. The privileged people that happen to be bullies can't get punished because "this" or "that". It's ridiculous. People can beat the shit out of you on a hallway full of kids and everyone will laugh and no teachers will bat an eye. And the cops don't care either. How convenient to the plot. Don't listen to that shit. If someone is harassing you, bullying or abusing you in any way, don't stay silent. Speak out, seek help and support.
The only message I got from this book was "The only way to stop bullying is to hope for the best and date him."
And not just that, but the author urges people to empathize and understand bullies, something controversial I partly agree with. You need to understand a bully in order to heal and move on, but that doesn't mean they always deserve a voice or our sympathy. Everyone can suffer. Yeah, no shit that these people have issues. Not everyone lashes out to others. In Jessica's
book there's this part when Melissa is organizing an anti-bullying campaign where bully victims can speak out and use their voice. Hayden says and I'll leave it here:
“Show our side. We aren't all demons from hell, and if people could understand us better, maybe we could have better chances at being leas shitty."”
“ " While you're at it," Hayden interjected in an even tone of his voice, "Why don't you also show the side of bullies?" [...] "i mean, if you're preaching, don't speak just about victims. Speak about bullies too."
Real mature Hayden, a campaign about victims is definitely your time to shine. It definitely has to be about YOU and understanding YOU. How dare they not show support to the people responsible this campaign has to be made in the first place. In fact, I think we should take it a step further and make Black Month about understanding racists and giving them support and understanding because then they'll have better chances at being less bloodthirsty. Good job Hayden! Instead of hiding in shame like any truly redeemed/regretful person would of done at the mention of bullying and victims, take the opportunity to shift the blame towards a third party and to preach to others how an anti-bullying campaign should be. And do it right in front of the person you heinously tortured for years. Carpe diem, am I right?
Vera just wanted a redeemed Hayden without having to make him "boring". I'm pretty sure she finds extreme violence and cruelty attractive...She should definitely go to therapy.
As for Sarah...The main character was painfully dull and weak. I usually don't call characters weak, but the way she treated Melissa in the second book and scolded her for calling Hayden a batshit crazy asshole was simply terrible. The thing is, Melissa was 100% right. Sarah can't even defend herself, but when it comes to her abusive crush, she becomes Mrs smartass and has the audacity to scold Melissa, a person who has tried again and again to protect her. This scene was simply disgusting.
-“That ‘asshole’ has a name,” Masen snarled at her and moved next to Hayden.
“Sure he does. His full name is Asshole Motherfucker Batshit Crazy Psycho.”
I flinched, feeling Mel’s last insult too personally. She didn’t know Hayden or about his disorder, but I didn’t want her or anyone else to call him crazy. Hayden clenched his jaw, his muscles twitching as he fought to keep his emotions at bay.
“Don’t call him that,” I bit at her, drawing everyone’s gazes to me.
Mel grimaced, and a blaze of hurt flashed through her eyes. “What did you say?”
“I told you not to call him that. It’s enough. It’s one thing to dislike him but another to insult him every time you see him.”-
It's okay, Mel, he had BPD so it's fine🥺
Plus, there was the poetry. Sigh.
"I am pained losing my soul until darkness swallows me whole"
Yeah...Too emo for my taste. It's kinda lame, sorry.
The dialogue seemed unnatural. A simple enough writing style, combined with extremely dramatic and over the top dialogue don't sit well with me. I'd read a really simple paragraph and then ill see something like this "Inner darkness blah blah together we can do anything and overcome our eternal suffering blah blah" I think that the writing could be good. The plot, even though painfully moronic, was precise (no filler scenes to make things boring, no making up things on the go), the characters, although extremely problematic and annoying, some of them were interesting (definitely not Sarah)wand could be distinguished from one another. If this wasn't so negative or problematic, I'd be a fun book. But it's not. It's way too toxic. And if the dialogue didn't feel like reading emo lyrics or something. It was forced and just...I still can't get over the poetry. And, Sarah lives in a town in England, full of rich kids with iPhones and two-story houses. I doubt all the shit that happens there is justified. This isn't the ghetto. That book is just so impossible and unrealistic smh
Ps. FUCK BLAKE. I don't care about his pathetic backstory.
There are twins named Hayden and Kayden in this book. I repeat Hayden and Kayden. If that ain't the worse thing you could do, I don't know what is.
Here's a list of worse things that could be found in three hundred pages of garbage:
1)Awkward plain girl with no personality✓
2) A crazy-ass love interest that does illegal stuff and writes emo poetry about his "darkness"✓
3) The crazy ass douchebag bullies her✓
4)He sexually assaults her✓
5)He pushes her against a wall and throttles her✓
5.5) he also pushes her down the stairs, I forgot about that lol✓
6) The bullying is justified by a mixture of mental illness, mommy issues daddy issues and being the ugly twin✓
7) He is forgiven because...he's mentally ill??✓
8) Preaching about positivity and misconceptions about BPD and people with mental health issues, when this whole book is a huge misconception and by no means reflects reality✓
I could actually go on forever, this is only the first book.
Let's start with the obvious (see title): the bullying. What an utter joke. I've gathered that those guys' words are supposed to be terrifying, but my four year old niece can come up with better insults. It was still horrifying though. Those guys were vile.
So basically, the bullies in this book (otherwise known as love interests) are sort of like high functioning dementia patients. They're horrible. In a tone-deaf way- hear me out. I don't think the author understands bullying. You see, teenagers, we have a thing called a "moral compass". A sense of fairness/ a sense of going too far. In fact, even babies have the capability to feel empathy.
The whole book contradicts this.
Yeah, hundreds of kids in a school are ok with beating the shit out of people and humiliating them in the middle of a hallway for no reason and cheer along. Yeah, no.
Teenagers can be horrible, yes, but this is not the French Revolution. Sit down.
They also make public Instagram accounts making fun of those kids and laughing at things like "food slut" and NO ONE bats an eye. Bullying happens like that, but it's way more subtle. Subtle enough for people to get carried away and be horrible, but still feel like they're fair and good and human. This is anything but.
And that brings us to Hayden.
He doesn't just call her names. He really hurts her. Physically, emotionally and sexually. This dude BLACKMAILS HER WITH NUDES HE TOOK OF HER WHILE SHE WAS CHANGING IN HER ROOM, SO HE CAN CONTROL HER LIFE. When that doesn't work he kidnaps her & threatens to rape her while throttling her before leaving her alone in the middle of the woods at night. He takes her groceries and starts throwing tomatoes and eggs at her in the middle of the street. He gropes and kisses her forcibly, out of pure, sickening hate.
Anyway, this is Wattpad enough that Hayden's two friends end up with Sarah's two friends. The thing is, in Jessica's book (Sarah's friend), Vera tries to write a story about accepting yourself and your weight and her books are supposedly all about diversity and different body types. Sarah is super skinny and tall, Jessica is heavy and short and Melissa is curvy.
But here's the thing; this only applies to girls. The guys are either 6 feet of muscle (and "masculine power" yikes) or just NOT romantic interests.
Or gay.
Yes, the token gay couple consists of a stuttering guy, Kevin, with no other personality trait other than being shy and nerdy (he's in the choir and has a crush on Hayden for fuck's sake) and he's only there to make Sarah and Jessica look nice and supportive. He ends up with another choir nerd who is also there to be the token black character that has literally no personality AT ALL. They're both lanky and mildly attractive and are written like those poor precious things full of purity with elbow patches or whatever.
1)So we have this ridiculously unsubtle middle ages torture in the middle of the streets of England. (Not the middle ages, not in Nazi Germany, but in today's England.) I guess police and security cameras took a huge break and took a family vacation. How convenient that you do this in a story where speaking out just doesn't work. Great advice, really.
2)Hayden and his two besties, Blake and Masen are basically various editions of macho man. They are star football AND basketball athletes, write poetry and songs, illegally car race AND fight. They're also 6 feet tall, they have six packs & enough time to hit the gym. Everyone at school loves them even if they beat the shit out of some girl in the middle of the hallway. Oh wait I forgot, Hayden also plays the bass and likes computers and is a genius.
By the way Hayden and Blake have serious life ruining mental health issues? Like... Oh i don't know, disorders like BPD and SEVERE PTSD (the whole hallucinations, nightmares, depression type.)
Mentally ill people can be unmotivated. They can be antisocial. Some of them can neglect eating and showering for days at a time, much less be this ridiculously perfect superhumans. If you wanna write about seriously difficult disorders, your characters actually have to be... depressed. Shocking, I know. Who would of thought, mental illness is not extreme violence and abuse.It's...an illness. That holds you back. Especially socially. Wow. Groundbreaking stuff right here. If the writer wanted to violence, she shouldn't have brought mental illness into this.
3) They all end up with each other. Do I even need to talk about how ridiculous that is? PS Hayden and Sarah are mildly irritating but JESSICA AND BLAKE ARE JUST PLAIN AGGRAVATING. They're genuinely horrible people.
4) there are also teenagers (plural not just one) that attempt murder...I mean, what are the odds?
Hayden doesn't resemble a person with BPD at all. He reminds me more of someone that escaped an asylum, to be honest. Or someone on heavy drugs 24/7. The author explains that "not every person with BPD is the same" or some shit like that and it just felt straight up patronizing. Clearly: you don't know shit about BPD or social situations in general, I get it. But straight up denying you don't know shit...Not cool, Vera. Not cool.
Hayden is like a caricature of BPD, which is crudely used in such a hurtful and insensitive way to justify the abuse, crime and sexual harassment to another person.
I gathered that Vera wants to show people that mental health issues don't necessarily mean "crazy" or "mean", but she's doing an absolutely HORRIBLE job of making a point. She's like a little kid at the Christmas dinner trying to engage in the grown-up conversation but failing miserably. I think that Vera had good intentions, but this book is quite negative and I'd say pretty horrible towards people with BPD, who are already stigmatized enough as it is.
People with BPD or other issues don't always bully. Sure, their unstable perspective of things can make them act different than others or they can lash out without thinking of the consequences or they can be abusive but...come on, can you blame bpd for all this?
sexual assault
murder attempt
hitting her
pushing her off the stairs
Saying some pretty twisted things to her
Throttling her
Controlling her life
Almost every bully or mean person (that gets to say or do something in the book) has mental health issues. Every other person barely gets any attention.
The author wrote her poor Google researched version of a really complex behavior that not even people with the disorder know a lot about and put it in her book and present it as the definition of BPD when she knows her main audience is a bunch of teenage girls that have never heard of the disorder.
Hayden, Mason, Blake (I don't really know what he's dealing with but I bet he has a sob story and a disorder to back it up. I don't know, MDD, PTSD, BPD, BDSM- oops wrong book. sorry erase the last one).
Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, every bully has mental health issues, or he or she is so mean that can only be described as crazy.
There's no one that you can truly relate to, not the bullies, not the MC...I think that there's too much drama going on and the extremity of this made me snort instead of cry. TOO MUCH DRAMA.
And the thing is, instead of encouraging people, teenagers who read this, to speak out, this book is doing the exact opposite. The privileged people that happen to be bullies can't get punished because "this" or "that". It's ridiculous. People can beat the shit out of you on a hallway full of kids and everyone will laugh and no teachers will bat an eye. And the cops don't care either. How convenient to the plot. Don't listen to that shit. If someone is harassing you, bullying or abusing you in any way, don't stay silent. Speak out, seek help and support.
The only message I got from this book was "The only way to stop bullying is to hope for the best and date him."
And not just that, but the author urges people to empathize and understand bullies, something controversial I partly agree with. You need to understand a bully in order to heal and move on, but that doesn't mean they always deserve a voice or our sympathy. Everyone can suffer. Yeah, no shit that these people have issues. Not everyone lashes out to others. In Jessica's
book there's this part when Melissa is organizing an anti-bullying campaign where bully victims can speak out and use their voice. Hayden says and I'll leave it here:
“Show our side. We aren't all demons from hell, and if people could understand us better, maybe we could have better chances at being leas shitty."”
“ " While you're at it," Hayden interjected in an even tone of his voice, "Why don't you also show the side of bullies?" [...] "i mean, if you're preaching, don't speak just about victims. Speak about bullies too."
Real mature Hayden, a campaign about victims is definitely your time to shine. It definitely has to be about YOU and understanding YOU. How dare they not show support to the people responsible this campaign has to be made in the first place. In fact, I think we should take it a step further and make Black Month about understanding racists and giving them support and understanding because then they'll have better chances at being less bloodthirsty. Good job Hayden! Instead of hiding in shame like any truly redeemed/regretful person would of done at the mention of bullying and victims, take the opportunity to shift the blame towards a third party and to preach to others how an anti-bullying campaign should be. And do it right in front of the person you heinously tortured for years. Carpe diem, am I right?
Vera just wanted a redeemed Hayden without having to make him "boring". I'm pretty sure she finds extreme violence and cruelty attractive...She should definitely go to therapy.
As for Sarah...The main character was painfully dull and weak. I usually don't call characters weak, but the way she treated Melissa in the second book and scolded her for calling Hayden a batshit crazy asshole was simply terrible. The thing is, Melissa was 100% right. Sarah can't even defend herself, but when it comes to her abusive crush, she becomes Mrs smartass and has the audacity to scold Melissa, a person who has tried again and again to protect her. This scene was simply disgusting.
-“That ‘asshole’ has a name,” Masen snarled at her and moved next to Hayden.
“Sure he does. His full name is Asshole Motherfucker Batshit Crazy Psycho.”
I flinched, feeling Mel’s last insult too personally. She didn’t know Hayden or about his disorder, but I didn’t want her or anyone else to call him crazy. Hayden clenched his jaw, his muscles twitching as he fought to keep his emotions at bay.
“Don’t call him that,” I bit at her, drawing everyone’s gazes to me.
Mel grimaced, and a blaze of hurt flashed through her eyes. “What did you say?”
“I told you not to call him that. It’s enough. It’s one thing to dislike him but another to insult him every time you see him.”-
It's okay, Mel, he had BPD so it's fine🥺
Plus, there was the poetry. Sigh.
"I am pained losing my soul until darkness swallows me whole"
Yeah...Too emo for my taste. It's kinda lame, sorry.
The dialogue seemed unnatural. A simple enough writing style, combined with extremely dramatic and over the top dialogue don't sit well with me. I'd read a really simple paragraph and then ill see something like this "Inner darkness blah blah together we can do anything and overcome our eternal suffering blah blah" I think that the writing could be good. The plot, even though painfully moronic, was precise (no filler scenes to make things boring, no making up things on the go), the characters, although extremely problematic and annoying, some of them were interesting (definitely not Sarah)wand could be distinguished from one another. If this wasn't so negative or problematic, I'd be a fun book. But it's not. It's way too toxic. And if the dialogue didn't feel like reading emo lyrics or something. It was forced and just...I still can't get over the poetry. And, Sarah lives in a town in England, full of rich kids with iPhones and two-story houses. I doubt all the shit that happens there is justified. This isn't the ghetto. That book is just so impossible and unrealistic smh
Ps. FUCK BLAKE. I don't care about his pathetic backstory.
October 17, 2020
Whoa... that was intense, scary and frustrating as fuck.
The hero here puts all the bullies I've read about so far to shame.
Leave it to me to like crazy shit like this😱
Not for the faint hearted and safety/sanity lovers🥰
The hero here puts all the bullies I've read about so far to shame.
Leave it to me to like crazy shit like this😱
Not for the faint hearted and safety/sanity lovers🥰
Read
August 17, 2019I actually like the occasional 'bully' book. I want to be able to be sympathetic to the person being bullied while being intrigued by the person doing the bullying. I wanted to know more about Hayden, but I wanted a lot less of Sarah. And that's bad. However, I can see her character speaking to people of all sorts. It just wasn't for me.
So rather than rate this book poorly, detering even one reader from giving it a try, I'm going to do myself the favor of leaving it blank. I think people SHOULD read it. It tackles many issues aside from just bullying, such as young love, friendships, hopes and dreams, BPD, fear, etc. and people should give it a chance. This book just wasn't for me. While I enjoyed the author's writing, I couldn't get past my intense dislike of her heroine and considering it's HER story, I couldn't get behind it.
So rather than rate this book poorly, detering even one reader from giving it a try, I'm going to do myself the favor of leaving it blank. I think people SHOULD read it. It tackles many issues aside from just bullying, such as young love, friendships, hopes and dreams, BPD, fear, etc. and people should give it a chance. This book just wasn't for me. While I enjoyed the author's writing, I couldn't get past my intense dislike of her heroine and considering it's HER story, I couldn't get behind it.
October 21, 2020
I don't even remember how many times I've written a review for this book, why does it keep on getting deleted?
March 29, 2020
Please don’t get dissuaded from this rating. I wanted to review this because of the mental health disorder talked about in this novel.
This book was not for me because this topic triggered me. Any adult should/may read this and rate accordingly.
Why I didn’t like this:
1)It mentions BPD that the H is diagnosed with.
BPD is a serious personality disorder that is very complex and most BPD individuals are quite soft spoken and self harm is a very critical factor in this.
As a doctor and most importantly as someone who has a friend with BPD, this book didn’t sit well with me.
The H had the personality disorder but his behaviour was more violent in nature and abrupt as if he was on drugs. This is not BPD.
(Edit: also another factor I forgot to mention that is very important for any sort of personality disorder is that a personality disorder can only be diagnosed as an adult, it is very rare for any child or teenager to be diagnosed with a specific personality disorder, they are still developing their personalities.
Kids may be diagnosed with ADHD, autism, conduct disorder, tourette syndrome, OCD, Schizophrenia, Psychosis and other behavioral problems but BPD is not any of those. However, I have forgotten the H’s age in this but I am pretty sure the author hints that the H had BPD as a kid/teenager so take what she wrote specifically about BPD with a grain of salt.)
Please please be mindful of what you read kids and take them with a grain of salt. I know some kids don’t even know what BPD is.
I know I didn’t know about a lot of things before med school. As a teenager, I didn’t even know about BPD, but I bet if this was written back then, I would have assumed most BPD patients present like this book says if I hadn’t researched or read about BPD anywhere else.
2) This book should have warnings and should be for adults and not teenagers.
This is exasperating, why do I torture myself for my much younger teenage/young adult cousin who reads books like these and then passes on to me? Simple, I don’t want her reading something like this and I don’t want other kids reading these kind of bully novels and then being impressed by this.
I did a little google search and realised this is a wattpad novel and many, many kids have rated it in a positive light and that bothers me.
These types of novels are meant for adults who don’t have impressionable minds like young teenagers do.
This book says —“hey its okay to fall in love with your physical abuser because he had a mental health issue and wasn’t in his right mind when he did those awful physical abusive thinga !” — this is not a bully romance like others that I have read. And this is insulting to all mental health patients worldwide! And that is what bothers me.
And of course he pushed her down a staircase and physically assaulted her in school and out and the h accepted him readily for God’s sake— no penance on his part and the h thought all of this abuse was okay because she loved him?
3) If this was catered to adults and the author, Vera, had written a warning and if this was not readily available to kids and if Vera had a deeper understanding of BPD and if the characters had matured and evolved in a deeper meaningful way and if Hayden, the H, had grovelled a lot and I mean a lot, (gosh that’s a lot of ifs, I feel like the wicked stepmother in Cinderella when she tells her those “ifs” when Cinderella asks her if she could go to the ball 🙈) then maybe this would have been palatable. 🤷🏻♀️
This book was not for me because this topic triggered me. Any adult should/may read this and rate accordingly.
Why I didn’t like this:
1)It mentions BPD that the H is diagnosed with.
BPD is a serious personality disorder that is very complex and most BPD individuals are quite soft spoken and self harm is a very critical factor in this.
As a doctor and most importantly as someone who has a friend with BPD, this book didn’t sit well with me.
The H had the personality disorder but his behaviour was more violent in nature and abrupt as if he was on drugs. This is not BPD.
(Edit: also another factor I forgot to mention that is very important for any sort of personality disorder is that a personality disorder can only be diagnosed as an adult, it is very rare for any child or teenager to be diagnosed with a specific personality disorder, they are still developing their personalities.
Kids may be diagnosed with ADHD, autism, conduct disorder, tourette syndrome, OCD, Schizophrenia, Psychosis and other behavioral problems but BPD is not any of those. However, I have forgotten the H’s age in this but I am pretty sure the author hints that the H had BPD as a kid/teenager so take what she wrote specifically about BPD with a grain of salt.)
Please please be mindful of what you read kids and take them with a grain of salt. I know some kids don’t even know what BPD is.
I know I didn’t know about a lot of things before med school. As a teenager, I didn’t even know about BPD, but I bet if this was written back then, I would have assumed most BPD patients present like this book says if I hadn’t researched or read about BPD anywhere else.
2) This book should have warnings and should be for adults and not teenagers.
This is exasperating, why do I torture myself for my much younger teenage/young adult cousin who reads books like these and then passes on to me? Simple, I don’t want her reading something like this and I don’t want other kids reading these kind of bully novels and then being impressed by this.
I did a little google search and realised this is a wattpad novel and many, many kids have rated it in a positive light and that bothers me.
These types of novels are meant for adults who don’t have impressionable minds like young teenagers do.
This book says —“hey its okay to fall in love with your physical abuser because he had a mental health issue and wasn’t in his right mind when he did those awful physical abusive thinga !” — this is not a bully romance like others that I have read. And this is insulting to all mental health patients worldwide! And that is what bothers me.
And of course he pushed her down a staircase and physically assaulted her in school and out and the h accepted him readily for God’s sake— no penance on his part and the h thought all of this abuse was okay because she loved him?
3) If this was catered to adults and the author, Vera, had written a warning and if this was not readily available to kids and if Vera had a deeper understanding of BPD and if the characters had matured and evolved in a deeper meaningful way and if Hayden, the H, had grovelled a lot and I mean a lot, (gosh that’s a lot of ifs, I feel like the wicked stepmother in Cinderella when she tells her those “ifs” when Cinderella asks her if she could go to the ball 🙈) then maybe this would have been palatable. 🤷🏻♀️
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 28, 2020
This is the darkest book I've ever read. However, it was also so intoxicating that I couldn't put it down.
avoid
December 2, 2021Self note avoid
Too much other people/ ow drama (kissing multiple times and making out passionately etc) in book 2.
Too much other people/ ow drama (kissing multiple times and making out passionately etc) in book 2.
October 17, 2021
Great story
One of the better bully tales I’ve come across though I wouldn’t call it much of a romance. In fact, there was more bully activity and episodic bulling than romance. It was an original, moving storyline delivered with feeling. Not the typical academy trope with elites and queen bees but instead a story of bullying and two damaged souls inexplicably drawn together. The heroine was as strong as a girl in her trying circumstances could have been. The hero was almost scarily disturbed though it was apparent he harbored feelings he couldn’t emotionally contain for the heroine.
Very engaging tale. Hopefully there is a part two of resolution for the troubled hero and healing for the heroine.
Second Read
Emotionally gripping story
A heart-wenching story of unfulfilled love and personal insecurity with a backdrop mental illness. This book captured bullying on a raw level, extreme at times, sorrowful; all in the personal struggle to be loved, be accepted because of who she is, who he is. Sarah is as strong as a girl in her trying circumstances could be. Hayden is almost scarily disturbed though it was apparent he harbors feelings he can't quite emotionally contain for the heroine.
Sarah, having endured bullying since middle school, arrives to new town full of hope, wanting friendship, and meets Kayden, the one person who befriends her, her only friend among a school of enemies, bullies, one of whom his twin brother, Hayden. The cruelty demonstrated against Sarah was unspeakable, from taunting to physical acts of humiliation. In addition, her home situation with an alcoholic mother was pitiful. In these, the storyline explores bullying heavily, mental illness, self-worth, and personal redemption.
The book was well-written, the choice of words very fitting, carefully crafted. The characters were descriptive and distinct — Melissa, Jessica, Kayden, Hayden, as well as Hayden’s friends, the elderly from the home. This was an atypical bully romance in that, at least book 1 was not a romance at all, rather the beginnings of a love story amid interludes of compelling attraction. For much of the story Sarah demonstrates as weak, but understanding her circumstances, her history of persecution combined with a dysfunctional relationship at home, you understand how she’s shaped to be the frankly fragile person she has become. As the story progresses she grasps at being stronger, better equipped. Meanwhile, Hayden, cold, often heartless, angry, and jealous, is being shattered little by little, exposing who he really is and what Sarah means to him. He harbors feelings for Sarah that once realized, change the direction of this story.
While not a romantic love story (yet), there is chemistry but no spice in this story. It is a clean romance, engaging tale of angst, and a part 1 / episode 1 of personal discovery to strength and love. An enjoyable but at times disquieting read. I hope to read about their personal growth, redemption, and resolution for the troubled hero and healing for the heroine in the next part.
One of the better bully tales I’ve come across though I wouldn’t call it much of a romance. In fact, there was more bully activity and episodic bulling than romance. It was an original, moving storyline delivered with feeling. Not the typical academy trope with elites and queen bees but instead a story of bullying and two damaged souls inexplicably drawn together. The heroine was as strong as a girl in her trying circumstances could have been. The hero was almost scarily disturbed though it was apparent he harbored feelings he couldn’t emotionally contain for the heroine.
Very engaging tale. Hopefully there is a part two of resolution for the troubled hero and healing for the heroine.
Second Read
Emotionally gripping story
A heart-wenching story of unfulfilled love and personal insecurity with a backdrop mental illness. This book captured bullying on a raw level, extreme at times, sorrowful; all in the personal struggle to be loved, be accepted because of who she is, who he is. Sarah is as strong as a girl in her trying circumstances could be. Hayden is almost scarily disturbed though it was apparent he harbors feelings he can't quite emotionally contain for the heroine.
Sarah, having endured bullying since middle school, arrives to new town full of hope, wanting friendship, and meets Kayden, the one person who befriends her, her only friend among a school of enemies, bullies, one of whom his twin brother, Hayden. The cruelty demonstrated against Sarah was unspeakable, from taunting to physical acts of humiliation. In addition, her home situation with an alcoholic mother was pitiful. In these, the storyline explores bullying heavily, mental illness, self-worth, and personal redemption.
The book was well-written, the choice of words very fitting, carefully crafted. The characters were descriptive and distinct — Melissa, Jessica, Kayden, Hayden, as well as Hayden’s friends, the elderly from the home. This was an atypical bully romance in that, at least book 1 was not a romance at all, rather the beginnings of a love story amid interludes of compelling attraction. For much of the story Sarah demonstrates as weak, but understanding her circumstances, her history of persecution combined with a dysfunctional relationship at home, you understand how she’s shaped to be the frankly fragile person she has become. As the story progresses she grasps at being stronger, better equipped. Meanwhile, Hayden, cold, often heartless, angry, and jealous, is being shattered little by little, exposing who he really is and what Sarah means to him. He harbors feelings for Sarah that once realized, change the direction of this story.
While not a romantic love story (yet), there is chemistry but no spice in this story. It is a clean romance, engaging tale of angst, and a part 1 / episode 1 of personal discovery to strength and love. An enjoyable but at times disquieting read. I hope to read about their personal growth, redemption, and resolution for the troubled hero and healing for the heroine in the next part.
March 1, 2020
I don't think I'm gonna write a full -rant- review for this one.
NOPE.
It's awkwardly written, the characters and situations are far too unrealistic and in absolute juxtaposition to the importance of the book's theme and it just seemed wrong and all over the place almost from the get-go.
I felt so nervous with the majority of the scenes in this book and after a while, I was mentally exhausted by the abhorrent and relentless use of abuse in every single page just for the sake of it, the stale dialogue and the inexcusable behavior by all the characters involved did not help either.
This reads like the author never went to school or took part in any social situation.
I kept reading only because I don't want to make my pile of abandoned books any bigger than it already is. But that was a total waste of time, only leaving me with a pain in my stomach and a foul taste in my mouth.
THOUGHTS ABOUT THE BOOK
- Seriously why?
- The hero's excuse for his temper and behavior belittles the people who suffer from mental illness.
- And even if his excuse was valid and let's just say we can see past it... What is the excuse for everyone else? They all simultaneously feel into a marmite filled with the magic potion of
Collective Temporary Insanity?
-
NOPE.
It's awkwardly written, the characters and situations are far too unrealistic and in absolute juxtaposition to the importance of the book's theme and it just seemed wrong and all over the place almost from the get-go.
I felt so nervous with the majority of the scenes in this book and after a while, I was mentally exhausted by the abhorrent and relentless use of abuse in every single page just for the sake of it, the stale dialogue and the inexcusable behavior by all the characters involved did not help either.
This reads like the author never went to school or took part in any social situation.
I kept reading only because I don't want to make my pile of abandoned books any bigger than it already is. But that was a total waste of time, only leaving me with a pain in my stomach and a foul taste in my mouth.
THOUGHTS ABOUT THE BOOK
- Seriously why?
- The hero's excuse for his temper and behavior belittles the people who suffer from mental illness.
- And even if his excuse was valid and let's just say we can see past it... What is the excuse for everyone else? They all simultaneously feel into a marmite filled with the magic potion of
Collective Temporary Insanity?
-
February 7, 2024
This book was so crazy, toxic and sad I don’t know how to rate it💀😭
January 5, 2025
RTC.
~
It took me a while to get into this book. Had to come back to it in a certain mood. I'm not sure if I was completely taken away, but it was certainly readable. As a bully romance, it's surprisingly clean. Most bully romances feel like they play on a fantasy of CNC + humiliation kink. This one did not feel erotic, just bully. There is angst created by the meanness of the hero, but also the hero's freak outs really show his youthful nature... they are both in high school. This is why I don't like settings in high school: They either act as adults and high school is more of a wallpaper setting (I honestly prefer this but prefer reading about adults) or they act their age, which makes me unable to get into the story. I just keep thinking they are kids.
Their story goes on, but I don't think I'll continue.
~
It took me a while to get into this book. Had to come back to it in a certain mood. I'm not sure if I was completely taken away, but it was certainly readable. As a bully romance, it's surprisingly clean. Most bully romances feel like they play on a fantasy of CNC + humiliation kink. This one did not feel erotic, just bully. There is angst created by the meanness of the hero, but also the hero's freak outs really show his youthful nature... they are both in high school. This is why I don't like settings in high school: They either act as adults and high school is more of a wallpaper setting (I honestly prefer this but prefer reading about adults) or they act their age, which makes me unable to get into the story. I just keep thinking they are kids.
Their story goes on, but I don't think I'll continue.
October 8, 2019
Okay
1. Writing is a bit long winded and simplistic
2. Felt like lots of writing about the same emotional stuff
3. BPD is portrayed in a rather crude and dare I say it ignorant way. But I hope maybe this improves with books?
4. It ends rather drearily and so I’m now waiting to see if improves when I have to buy the next book
Not a great read but I’m left with an unfinished story.
1. Writing is a bit long winded and simplistic
2. Felt like lots of writing about the same emotional stuff
3. BPD is portrayed in a rather crude and dare I say it ignorant way. But I hope maybe this improves with books?
4. It ends rather drearily and so I’m now waiting to see if improves when I have to buy the next book
Not a great read but I’m left with an unfinished story.
February 7, 2021
I did not like the writing style of this author. It seemed robotic!
Toxic masculinity on another level.
Blaming mental illness for acting like a complete ass?
Weakest heroine! Zero back bone.
Annoying BFF.
Toxic masculinity on another level.
Blaming mental illness for acting like a complete ass?
Weakest heroine! Zero back bone.
Annoying BFF.
March 10, 2020
I read Bullied last year and I was very impressed by Hollins' story about Sarah and Hayden. This emotional and violent rollarcoaster made me thowing the book against the wall and in the meantime I coudn't stop. I had to finish it and I can't wait to continue to the second part: Pained. If you like dark and bullied, grab it. You will be suprised. I definitely loved it.
November 3, 2020
The story had a huge misrepresentation and almost offensive perception of BPD.
Abusive behavior was romanticized. Hayden Black's behavior was very often excused with the "It's not him, it's his disorder." He was very violent, unstable, abusive, and the whole time it was justified with his BPD. Throwing someone down the stairs isn't a symptom of BPD. And of course the main character Sara being the sweet blonde haired blue eyes artistic ray of sunshine she was, forgave him and sympathized with him.
That’s not how BPD works AT ALL.
The story gave the impression of vilifying anyone who has BPD, making it seem as though we’re all unstable but we’re good people with disorders that make us bad people. BPD, or any disorder for that matter, isn't stone of dark black hatred that you can personify and separate from a person.
Frankly I'm quite worried that the people who read this that aren't educated on mental health will have a demonized perception of people with BPD.
And I, who had been a young reader of this story, had been suffering with BPD without knowing it. So when I found out I had it, I saw myself as a terrible, abusive person. Because I was young and undeveloped and impressionable and uneducated on it, that's what I saw, in stories such as these, that people with BPD are seen the way Sara saw Hayden: a monster. It wouldn't have hurt as much if his actions were blamed on the fact that he's just a messed up person, rather than saying "he's a messed up person because he has BPD". It wasn't until years of my own research on it that I learned that I wasn't someone to be afraid of.
It somewhat hurts knowing that people are becoming successful off the misrepresentation and "dark, demented, scary themes" of a mental illness for entertainment purposes.
As far as the writing itself? Honestly not too bad. A few awkward phrasing choices here and there, but not bad. The main character is very frustrating, again, justifying the abuse of her bully, being attracted to it, not standing up for herself, allowing herself to be trampled. It's hard to have your own personality when you let yourself be a punching bag. And again, justify your "being a punching bag" with anxiety. Another harmful representation of mental illness. So no, Sara doesn't have much of her own personality. At least not that is seen from the book. No unique qualities, other than the fact that she does art.
January 12, 2020
I have been enjoying the bullymance trope and read so many bully books, some have been DNF's, others average and then you get the odd one that stands out. Bullied by Vera Hollins was one of those bully stories that took a different twist. The book starts with Sarah moving into a new town with her mother and meeting her neighbors - twin brothers Hayden and Kayden. Hayden, she never warmed to as he always from day one treated her like she was dirt whereas Kayden became her best friend. We learned though that for some messed up reason, Sarah loved Hayden and cared for Kayden as a friend. One night out with their friends an accident occurs which leaves Kayden dead. From that day on, Sarah is tormented day in and day out by not only Hayden but also his group of friends as they all blame her for Kayden's death and branded her as a murderer. Every day they tortured her like crazy and she couldn't get away from it. That is until the start of a new school year and Sarah meets a new girl Jessica and stands up for her as she is bullied by Blake. Sarah has reached her breaking point and this year will try and stand up to the bullies. As the book goes along though they won't let her and it seems that this time the bullying antics have been upped and if she's not careful, she might just find herself six feet under next to Kayden. Bullied by Vera Hollins touches on quite a few edgy issues including mental health which features quite a lot throughout the book and how death can change people and if pushed to the brink, just how far people will go to ruin those who hurt them.
August 6, 2018
Have you ever read a book that has great pacing, emotions and character development? This book has it all. It was not your typical:
"Girl has a crush on boy, boy bullies girl once then falls in love, third wheel appears but got them out of the way, both get married and possibly have grandchildren."
Sarah was a strong character and I pity her that she can't go to anyone for help, especially her mom and I'm glad to see she didn't leave her focus on school. Hayden was a jerk, Vera(the author) did a great job on making him a bully I NEVER want to come across. The pacing was absolutely perfect. The way the students bully Sarah was horrifying.
And let me just say: "Kayden, you gave me emotions I never though I would've felt!" I rarely cry because of books. Especially in this case. Really recommend this to not just people who are into romance books but just people who enjoy reading how characters grow in general.
"Girl has a crush on boy, boy bullies girl once then falls in love, third wheel appears but got them out of the way, both get married and possibly have grandchildren."
Sarah was a strong character and I pity her that she can't go to anyone for help, especially her mom and I'm glad to see she didn't leave her focus on school. Hayden was a jerk, Vera(the author) did a great job on making him a bully I NEVER want to come across. The pacing was absolutely perfect. The way the students bully Sarah was horrifying.
And let me just say: "Kayden, you gave me emotions I never though I would've felt!" I rarely cry because of books. Especially in this case. Really recommend this to not just people who are into romance books but just people who enjoy reading how characters grow in general.
November 12, 2019
Worse book I have ever had the misfortune of laying my eyes upon. Not only is the plot utter garbage, but the actually writing is trash too. I’ve read all three books, they’re all absolute garbage and a waste of time and money. Not only does she not portray mental illnesses well AT ALL, but she glorifies abusive relationships and mental illnesses. Would not recommend ANYONE to read this book, wouldn’t even use it as kindling for a fire, it doesn’t even deserve to be useful. This is why wattpad authors need a reality check before they’re allowed to publish. Will be back later with a more in depth review.
dnf
August 27, 2019DNF at 46%
I tried, I really did... I really wanted to like this book, but the more I tried the more I pushed myself away from this book. I couldn't connect to the characters nor to the writing style or the way the story was told. Sadly there was nothing that quipped my interest or could hold my attention. But I'm sure, others will love it. So if you are interested in a true bully romance, please give it a chance. You never know if you might love it ;-)
I tried, I really did... I really wanted to like this book, but the more I tried the more I pushed myself away from this book. I couldn't connect to the characters nor to the writing style or the way the story was told. Sadly there was nothing that quipped my interest or could hold my attention. But I'm sure, others will love it. So if you are interested in a true bully romance, please give it a chance. You never know if you might love it ;-)
January 12, 2021
I was about the give this book 3,5 stars but then I settled on 4 🌟
Hayden was such a jerk in the beginning but he made my heart melt in the end 🥰
Hayden was such a jerk in the beginning but he made my heart melt in the end 🥰
April 13, 2020
-Jenna, 4 stars
I don't even know where to begin in my review. I knew by the title of this book that it was probably going to be emotional. What I didn't know until finishing is that this book will rip your heart out, but in such a well written and page turning way. We meet Sarah and the things she goes through, you can't imagine how she continues on. She seems weak but underneath is a strength that starts showing up by the end of the story. We also meet Hayden who is mysterious and you'll hate him. But also by the end, you'll feel for him and want to cuddle him.
This story took me on a roller coaster of emotions you wouldn't believe. My emotions were in a blender. If you want a gripping read, this is for you.
I don't even know where to begin in my review. I knew by the title of this book that it was probably going to be emotional. What I didn't know until finishing is that this book will rip your heart out, but in such a well written and page turning way. We meet Sarah and the things she goes through, you can't imagine how she continues on. She seems weak but underneath is a strength that starts showing up by the end of the story. We also meet Hayden who is mysterious and you'll hate him. But also by the end, you'll feel for him and want to cuddle him.
This story took me on a roller coaster of emotions you wouldn't believe. My emotions were in a blender. If you want a gripping read, this is for you.
April 1, 2019
Hmm am not even sure if I want to give this a 3 to be honest maybe more 2.5 not quite 2 but prob doesn't deserve a 3 either. Just so much to say about this book that I really don't want to get into but it's full of assumptions made about mental health issues and it's just not realistic at all. Sarah annoyed me, hayden was awful, I liked the side characters though.
May 27, 2023
this reminded me of my wattpad days so reading this was pure nostalgia. with that being said, i find high school bully love stories a bit unbelievable and immature. entertaining as hell though.
February 28, 2021
* First time reading author
The first thing I am going to say is, I gave this book 5 stars because Vera wrote outside the box and wrote as if she was in the school and didn't back down from real bullying. While I was reading Hayden and Sarah's story I kept asking myself "why are you reading this" and I had to remind myself that kids go through this every day, and they don't get to walk away and close the book on it. I wanted to see where Vera was going with this story.
In this first story, I found no love between any of the characters. There was no understanding or even like between anyone. Pure hatred at the best of times came out of these characters. The intensity of feelings that radiated out of Hayden bounces off the pages. This book is like watching a car wreck that you know is not going to turn out good. But you have to know who is going to be bloody in the end.
That is why I went on to the next book.
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The first thing I am going to say is, I gave this book 5 stars because Vera wrote outside the box and wrote as if she was in the school and didn't back down from real bullying. While I was reading Hayden and Sarah's story I kept asking myself "why are you reading this" and I had to remind myself that kids go through this every day, and they don't get to walk away and close the book on it. I wanted to see where Vera was going with this story.
In this first story, I found no love between any of the characters. There was no understanding or even like between anyone. Pure hatred at the best of times came out of these characters. The intensity of feelings that radiated out of Hayden bounces off the pages. This book is like watching a car wreck that you know is not going to turn out good. But you have to know who is going to be bloody in the end.
That is why I went on to the next book.
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July 12, 2020
Don’t even like bully romances but this one was DONE RIGHT
August 8, 2019
Wow. This was deep and depressing. If the cover is anything to go by, trust me when I say that this isn’t your typical bully romance—it’s dark. After reading this, I think I need a break from books. It was...a lot. Almost like a rollercoaster that kept jerking me all over the place. Not fun but something I couldn’t stay away from even if I tried.
Readers, please take the trigger warning seriously. I’m going to be first to admit that I LOVE bully romances. This is NOT a romance, in my humble opinion. So if that’s what you’re looking for, this ain’t it. There is actual bullying going on. And not the occasional prank or some hero making the heroine feel bad type thing. Such as pretending to like the heroine and then humiliating her. This is much darker. Hayden, actually hurts the heroine, Sarah. She gets physically, emotionally, and verbally abused—consistently throughout the whole book. All the way until the very end. The hero isn’t a hero. Although, I felt for his character and feel oddly connected to him. Especially after all the revelation.
Sarah is weak. There’s no other way to put it. She fights back occasionally but for the most part she’s constantly scared and trembles a lot. So many times I wanted her to just fight back with all her might. But she didn’t. Instead she endured the pain and humiliation her classmates put her through. I have a hard time believing a school would be so callous as to ignore students being hazed the way they were. The way Sarah was. It’s despicable.
I couldn’t help but think of how volatile and abusive the hero was. It wasn’t romantic in the least. (Not that I think that’s romantic. But I like the occasional alpha possessive H every now and then) And I kept thinking about how I would never recommend this to young ladies because this isn’t how love is supposed to be. So I feel like the author did well in that regard. Showing us how the terrible cycle of staying with an abusive man that says he’s changed can happen. And sometimes how it starts.
I know this book won’t be for many people. And I get it. There were some difficult subjects to read about. Which is why I feel like I need to go watch something less dramatic and sad. Because yes, I cried at the end. It was too devastating.
I would like to say that I think towards the end the heroine did show a teensy bit more backbone. I look forward to her character growth in the next book!
*Thank you to the author for providing a free copy in exchange for an honest and unbiased review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
Readers, please take the trigger warning seriously. I’m going to be first to admit that I LOVE bully romances. This is NOT a romance, in my humble opinion. So if that’s what you’re looking for, this ain’t it. There is actual bullying going on. And not the occasional prank or some hero making the heroine feel bad type thing. Such as pretending to like the heroine and then humiliating her. This is much darker. Hayden, actually hurts the heroine, Sarah. She gets physically, emotionally, and verbally abused—consistently throughout the whole book. All the way until the very end. The hero isn’t a hero. Although, I felt for his character and feel oddly connected to him. Especially after all the revelation.
Sarah is weak. There’s no other way to put it. She fights back occasionally but for the most part she’s constantly scared and trembles a lot. So many times I wanted her to just fight back with all her might. But she didn’t. Instead she endured the pain and humiliation her classmates put her through. I have a hard time believing a school would be so callous as to ignore students being hazed the way they were. The way Sarah was. It’s despicable.
I couldn’t help but think of how volatile and abusive the hero was. It wasn’t romantic in the least. (Not that I think that’s romantic. But I like the occasional alpha possessive H every now and then) And I kept thinking about how I would never recommend this to young ladies because this isn’t how love is supposed to be. So I feel like the author did well in that regard. Showing us how the terrible cycle of staying with an abusive man that says he’s changed can happen. And sometimes how it starts.
I know this book won’t be for many people. And I get it. There were some difficult subjects to read about. Which is why I feel like I need to go watch something less dramatic and sad. Because yes, I cried at the end. It was too devastating.
I would like to say that I think towards the end the heroine did show a teensy bit more backbone. I look forward to her character growth in the next book!
*Thank you to the author for providing a free copy in exchange for an honest and unbiased review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
August 27, 2020
Lord Have Mercy is what I said after reading this book. I have to say that this book is disturbing and full of bullying and things that may be a trigger to others.
Where to start okay I will try not to give to much away but it will be hard for me. Sarah moves with her mother to another town where she meets her next door neighbors Kayden and Hayden. She soon becomes best friends with Kayden. Then something tragic happens and Kayden dies. After the death of Kayden his twin Hayden blames Sarah for his brothers death. So he and his friends begin to bully her.
Sarah is bullied everyday. She is determined not to break when she makes friends with a girl Jessica. Jessica stands up for Sarah but it doesn't help it makes it worse. But Sarah is determined not to break down and let these guys bully her. The bullying is so bad she is verbally abused and sometimes physically abused.
I wanted to reach inside the book and kick some serious arse! I mean if you don't like bullying then you should not read this book because Sarah gets seriously bullied and hurt both emotionally and physically.
Where to start okay I will try not to give to much away but it will be hard for me. Sarah moves with her mother to another town where she meets her next door neighbors Kayden and Hayden. She soon becomes best friends with Kayden. Then something tragic happens and Kayden dies. After the death of Kayden his twin Hayden blames Sarah for his brothers death. So he and his friends begin to bully her.
Sarah is bullied everyday. She is determined not to break when she makes friends with a girl Jessica. Jessica stands up for Sarah but it doesn't help it makes it worse. But Sarah is determined not to break down and let these guys bully her. The bullying is so bad she is verbally abused and sometimes physically abused.
I wanted to reach inside the book and kick some serious arse! I mean if you don't like bullying then you should not read this book because Sarah gets seriously bullied and hurt both emotionally and physically.
September 6, 2019
Ok, I the odd one out since I didn’t care for this book. I have to truthfully say that Sarah annoyed me. She had the capability of being stronger because you see it within the story several times. She allowed herself to be a victim. I do feel the bulling was above and beyond, it was boarder line torture. The fact that the school did NOTHING was disgusting.
Hayden, was on a whole different level of bully. He was out of control and the fact that no one noticed just baffled me. My heart broke for him towards the end however it does not excuse his behavior or actions.
This book had a great storyline but the characters lacked depth to me. I would of liked to know more about Hayden and his disorder. That was a blip in the story but it explains so very much.
Hayden, was on a whole different level of bully. He was out of control and the fact that no one noticed just baffled me. My heart broke for him towards the end however it does not excuse his behavior or actions.
This book had a great storyline but the characters lacked depth to me. I would of liked to know more about Hayden and his disorder. That was a blip in the story but it explains so very much.
May 29, 2022
DO NOT READ. I’m disappointed to say this, but when I was 12, I loved this series. It’s scary to say, but this author had me convinced at 12 that it is SO romantic for a man to treat you like complete SHIT and be forgiven even after all the YEARS of torment. Even when the FL did nothing wrong, it’s somehow okay to forgive the ML after all the shit she went through because the ML now loves the FL??? Shit aint even the right word to describe the disturbing things he did. This series romanticizes abusive relationships, and it’s so sad to see a female author support this message. I am fortunate enough to have grown and realize that these messages are so harmful. And with the amount of 5 star reviews on here…some kids aren’t as fortunate as I am. The stories after this book supports the same message too (and other TERRIBLE ones. Last I read the wattpad version, she was continuously sexually and physically assaulted by the ML). Can’t believe it ever got published. Not even that, but ALL 5 books with the same digusting messages got published? Who in their right mind saw the story on wattpad and said, “Why, yes, we should let little kids buy these books and read about relationships where a high school girl gets with her abuser 😍 let’s promote sexual, physical, and verbal abuse but excuse the dude’s abusive behaviour with a sad secret: he has a disorder, oop-” A very unfair representation of people with disorders. People with disorders are not violent like the ML; books like these continue to paint them like that in that light. How is it that all the male leads are the bullies and have disorders? I feel like the author just wanted a way to excuse their behaviour, and that was the best way. Someone explain to me how this series has 4+ stars? Is there a way to give zero stars? This doesn’t even deserve 1. It’s so sad. Vera was my fav author back then, and I didn’t see how wrong it was. Why does she support abusers? I know it’s just a story, but still. Would you be okay with your kid reading this book and thinking that years of traumatic abuse can be justified and excused?
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