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The Gap: An Australian Paramedic’s Summer on the Edge
In this riveting memoir, Gilmour recounts the call-outs that summer: some dangerous, some gruesome, some downright ridiculous. And we meet fellow paramedic Tom who, they say, can get a laugh out of everyone except the dead. As the city heats up that summer, however, even Tom begins to lose his sense of humour. People are unravelling – and Benjamin and Tom are no exception.
The Gap is a vivid portrait of the lead-up to Christmas; an unflinching, no-holds-barred look at what happens after the triple-zero call is made – the drugs, nightclubs, brothels, drunk rich kids, billionaires, domestic disputes, the elderly, emergency births, even a kidnapping. Patients share their innermost feelings, and we witness their loneliness, their despair and their hopes.
Beautifully written and sharply observed, The Gap exposes the fragility of our lives and the lengths the paramedics will go to to try to save us.
The Gap is a vivid portrait of the lead-up to Christmas; an unflinching, no-holds-barred look at what happens after the triple-zero call is made – the drugs, nightclubs, brothels, drunk rich kids, billionaires, domestic disputes, the elderly, emergency births, even a kidnapping. Patients share their innermost feelings, and we witness their loneliness, their despair and their hopes.
Beautifully written and sharply observed, The Gap exposes the fragility of our lives and the lengths the paramedics will go to to try to save us.
Audio CD
First published August 6, 2019
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About the author
Benjamin Gilmour
16 books26 followersBenjamin Gilmour was born in Germany in 1975, but has lived most of his life in Australia. He is an award-winning filmmaker and writer. His first book, Warrior Poets – Guns, Movie-making and the Wild West of Pakistan, was published in 2008, based on his experiences directing the feature film Son of a Lion. His best-seller Paramedico is published in numerous countries. His latest book is The Gap (Penguin Random House).
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 102 reviews
February 29, 2020
4.5 stars
I love medical memoirs and this book had me engrossed from the beginning to end. An honest, funny, sad, easy read that helps the reader begin to understand the life of a paramedic in possibly one of Sydney’s worst places to be stationed as am Ambo and the horrid effect it has on their lives.
Thank you to all the paramedics for all the amazing work you do, I’m sorry that historically the work/clientele is changing and making it more challenging that what you possibly signed up for many years earlier.
I love medical memoirs and this book had me engrossed from the beginning to end. An honest, funny, sad, easy read that helps the reader begin to understand the life of a paramedic in possibly one of Sydney’s worst places to be stationed as am Ambo and the horrid effect it has on their lives.
Thank you to all the paramedics for all the amazing work you do, I’m sorry that historically the work/clientele is changing and making it more challenging that what you possibly signed up for many years earlier.
November 21, 2019
What a powerful memoir! This touches on a lot of serious themes which are the daily reality for paramedics. Definitely brings about a huge surge of empathy and makes you think twice about the amazing work they do.
February 1, 2020
Excellent memoir from a paramedic who worked in eastern Sydney, concentrating on the Christmas/summer season in 2008. A page turner, very readable. In spite of the subject matter (suicide, emergency medicine) I found it to be very uplifting, positive and inspiring.
October 6, 2019
I am an Australian critical care level paramedic with 20 years on the job. While reading this book I laughed, I rejoiced, I cried ... sobbed at the end. It validated so many thoughts, feelings, insecurities and musings I’ve had over the years. Read and enjoy this true depiction of paramedic life, and if you’re thinking of becoming a paramedic, do it ...it’s the best job in the world and Ben shows that. Thank you Ben.
November 6, 2019
4.5 stars
October 19, 2020
Perhaps naively, I didn't initially twig that The Gap is a book about suicide, and that's despite having one a staff member of my small business choose this particular mode to end her life in October 2010, two years outside the period Benjamin Gilmour is describing. What Gilmour does well is clue you in about the real rate of suicide in our communities, and the impact watching it has on ambulance staff on the front line. Whatever creates the culture of these Australian workers being considered weak if they seek help when depressed needs addressing.
As someone who lived within Gilmour's designated area, and knows the burlesque artists like Gypsy Wood he's describing, there was a delight in the local aspect of this book. What I didn't like were the hints of stigma against people in my community, like drug users, and sex workers, and indeed as someone who grew up in Sydney's Western Suburbs before heading to the city myself, stigma against those from the West. There's a vaguely sanctimonious tone in these bits:
“As we circle Kings Cross, waiting for a call, it feels like we are cruising for business. In that sense we are not so different from the street corner sex workers and dealers and pimps. We all make a living off the lost and lonely and not many people know the streets like we do, or work quite as late.” (Pg 201)
“Now and then I’ll look at the parents and their environment and I’ll imagine the baby’s life ahead. How can anyone not after seeing a heavily pregnant heroin user still working the streets as we did last week?” (Pg 33)
"We can tell by their haircuts they’re not from the city or the Eastern Suburbs. Like many of our customers on Friday or Saturday nights, they’ve come into town from the suburbs our west.” (Pg 223)
I think these bits grated because I hold paramedics to a higher bar than I do other people, because I am well aware that stigma prevents people from having the same access to health care as other Australians. None of us know what sort of mother someone will be from their occupation or use of alcohol and other drugs. My mother would have looked great on paper, a suburban housewife selflessly sacrificing to raise a kid with a disability. She also beat me with wooden spoons, feather dusters and green bamboo cut from the bush in our suburban backyard. Maybe it's this that makes me say, you can't look at a pregnant sex worker who uses heroin and know much about her mothering abilities at all, because you wouldn't have been correct about my mother - you're better not to apply these socially constructed judgements at all, particularly as a paramedic.
In closing, I was also struck that a paramedic who uses Oprah style lines to 'talk people down' from The Gap, is no more equipped to recognise suicidal ideation than the rest of us. John died even loved by the experts. Even the experts get so caught up in their own lives that they miss the times you should go over and spend time with a depressed friend. That is both reassuring and terrifying. For that reason alone we need to know more about suicide and how and when it occurs, which is why I have given this book four stars.
As someone who lived within Gilmour's designated area, and knows the burlesque artists like Gypsy Wood he's describing, there was a delight in the local aspect of this book. What I didn't like were the hints of stigma against people in my community, like drug users, and sex workers, and indeed as someone who grew up in Sydney's Western Suburbs before heading to the city myself, stigma against those from the West. There's a vaguely sanctimonious tone in these bits:
“As we circle Kings Cross, waiting for a call, it feels like we are cruising for business. In that sense we are not so different from the street corner sex workers and dealers and pimps. We all make a living off the lost and lonely and not many people know the streets like we do, or work quite as late.” (Pg 201)
“Now and then I’ll look at the parents and their environment and I’ll imagine the baby’s life ahead. How can anyone not after seeing a heavily pregnant heroin user still working the streets as we did last week?” (Pg 33)
"We can tell by their haircuts they’re not from the city or the Eastern Suburbs. Like many of our customers on Friday or Saturday nights, they’ve come into town from the suburbs our west.” (Pg 223)
I think these bits grated because I hold paramedics to a higher bar than I do other people, because I am well aware that stigma prevents people from having the same access to health care as other Australians. None of us know what sort of mother someone will be from their occupation or use of alcohol and other drugs. My mother would have looked great on paper, a suburban housewife selflessly sacrificing to raise a kid with a disability. She also beat me with wooden spoons, feather dusters and green bamboo cut from the bush in our suburban backyard. Maybe it's this that makes me say, you can't look at a pregnant sex worker who uses heroin and know much about her mothering abilities at all, because you wouldn't have been correct about my mother - you're better not to apply these socially constructed judgements at all, particularly as a paramedic.
In closing, I was also struck that a paramedic who uses Oprah style lines to 'talk people down' from The Gap, is no more equipped to recognise suicidal ideation than the rest of us. John died even loved by the experts. Even the experts get so caught up in their own lives that they miss the times you should go over and spend time with a depressed friend. That is both reassuring and terrifying. For that reason alone we need to know more about suicide and how and when it occurs, which is why I have given this book four stars.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 18, 2019
It's hard to put into words the intensity of volunteering in an ambulance. Next month I'm celebrating my first year as part of a crew and in those short twelve months, I've seen it all. Birth, death, grief, the beauty of human nature and the downright bizarre. Benjamin Gilmour refers to the job as "a luckydip of drama" and that's pretty accurate! I pull on my boots and wonder what on earth I'm in for each shift. At the end I shower and sit by my husband and kids and it feels somewhat detached and unreal too. You can be dealing with death one minute and eating dinner the next. It's no wonder the general public are so fascinated by what we do and TV programs like ' Ambulance' and 'Paramedics' are popular viewing. The true heroes are the paramedics who sign up to do this job on a daily basis, and this book offers a glimpse into their world. You will feel their frustration as they are dispatched to a toothache, and witness them in the minutes that truly matter to save a life. It's a memoir that ticked so many boxes for me, and took me on a rollercoaster of emotions, from hilarity to heartbreak. It moves at a cracking pace with lights and sirens blaring as you experience an Australian summer in the lead-up to Christmas; emphasis is placed on a renowned suicide hot-spot in Sydney known as "The Gap". A second and important layer of this tale is the consequence of repeated exposure to trauma for some individuals in the profession. While it is a privilege for first responders to be involved in such intimate moments with strangers during their darkest hours, it can also be a hefty burden to carry. #thegap left me desperate for more from this author so I'm adding #paramedico to my TBR promptly! Thank you @peacelion for this epic piece of writing, and for dedicating your time and energy, and a little piece of your sanity for the benefit of others. You sir, are a legend 👌 😎 .
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Rating: 🚑 🚑 🚑 🚑
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Rating: 🚑 🚑 🚑 🚑
August 24, 2019
The front cover of The Gap by Benjamin Gilmour promises the story of “a paramedic’s summer on the edge”, and it delivers! See, The Gap is the name of a notorious suicide spot, a clifftop at Sydney’s Watson’s Bay, and for the summer of 2008, Gilmour worked as a paramedic based out of the nearest ambulance station. This is his memoir, and Penguin Random House Australia was kind enough to send me a copy for review.
Again and again, he circles back around to The Gap, where 50+ people die by suicide each year. The paramedic’s job is usually to talk them down, sometimes to help with retrieving a body, or informing loved ones. Gilmour wrote this book, from his detailed notes and diaries, at the urging of fellow paramedics, who want to open a conversation about suicide and mental health in this country.
An extended review of this book is available exclusively to subscribers at Keeping Up With The Penguins.
Again and again, he circles back around to The Gap, where 50+ people die by suicide each year. The paramedic’s job is usually to talk them down, sometimes to help with retrieving a body, or informing loved ones. Gilmour wrote this book, from his detailed notes and diaries, at the urging of fellow paramedics, who want to open a conversation about suicide and mental health in this country.
An extended review of this book is available exclusively to subscribers at Keeping Up With The Penguins.
April 24, 2020
A lot of people are comparing The Gap to This is Going to Hurt. They are not the same, and I wish I’d known this going in. The Gap is unmistakably a book about hopelessness, depression and, ultimately, suicide, from the perspective of someone who has had far more experience with these things than almost anyone, fellow paramedics excluded. It’s written simply, but will at times leave you processing your mortality and what it means to live life in a way that leaves you feeling as though you can die satisfied.
December 30, 2023
I deeply appreciated the new perspective The Gap gave me on the deeply poignant and emotionally taxing profession of Australian paramedics. Being set in Sydney’s Eastern Suburbs with nods to locations I frequent regularly made Benjamin’s recollections all the more visceral.
Whilst I’ve had a deep appreciation for what paramedics have done to assist my own family in times of need, it really was eye opening to have the opportunity to see how patient’s experiences - and particularly the unknown results of their situations and conditions - impacts emergency worker’s mental state in the long run.
I didn’t expect the book to cover the topic of suicide as deeply as it did, but I think the quote “You don’t need to take your life to make people listen” will tenderly stay in my thoughts forever.
I also appreciated the reality check of certain medical conditions I feel have been misrepresented on TV dramas like Greys Anatomy and Chicago Med e.g. how critical every second is for cardiac conditions, and how rare recovery is from certain situations.
An (at times) difficult, but very important read.
Whilst I’ve had a deep appreciation for what paramedics have done to assist my own family in times of need, it really was eye opening to have the opportunity to see how patient’s experiences - and particularly the unknown results of their situations and conditions - impacts emergency worker’s mental state in the long run.
I didn’t expect the book to cover the topic of suicide as deeply as it did, but I think the quote “You don’t need to take your life to make people listen” will tenderly stay in my thoughts forever.
I also appreciated the reality check of certain medical conditions I feel have been misrepresented on TV dramas like Greys Anatomy and Chicago Med e.g. how critical every second is for cardiac conditions, and how rare recovery is from certain situations.
An (at times) difficult, but very important read.
March 29, 2022
Found this book while I was waiting for another book on my ‘to be read’ list and I LOVED it! A quick little read but I was hooked wanting to find out how the collection of events fitted into the big picture. It was a touching tribute to all the individuals mentioned and to every Australian paramedic and the work they do.
August 15, 2020
One of the better paramedic stories I have read. This was funny, banal, incredibly sad but yet triumphant.
May 24, 2020
Not sure why I thought that this would be an entertaining read. Don’t get wrong, I enjoyed hearing about the details of a day in their working lives...but a word of warning...you wouldn’t want to give this book to anyone who is even slightly suicidal...
September 2, 2020
The incidents this book covered - the patients and their illnesses/trauma - as well as the thoughts of the narrator took on a raw edge that the ambulance television shows of today don’t (or can’t) capture. With that in mind, it was interesting to read the narrator’s thoughts on the different perspectives of each paramedic, with the themes of death and saving lives front and centre.
September 23, 2024
4.0 - Short and sweet, a great insight into the life of a paramedic and also to Sydney in the early 2000s.
December 9, 2022
The audiobook had me both laughing out loud and later sobbing in a Woolworths. Such an incredible and emotional read.
February 29, 2020
An excellent memoir from a Sydney paramedic, concentrating over the Christmas New Year period in 2008. The book touches on the day to day work and outrageous things our paramedics deal with everyday along with some serious and heartfelt topics like suicide and mental health. I enjoyed this novel and finished it in a day.
May 11, 2020
This book is a nice insight into the life of a paramedic. It highlights the burdens placed on these people who we treat as the ultimate problem savers but are human and face their own personal challenges. The lack of support in the paramedic industry back in 2008 seems in hindsight extremely negligent given their responsibilities. Gilmour also communicates the importance of personal care very well. For anyone interested in learning more about the life of a paramedic this is a quick and meaningful look into that experience.
February 16, 2020
Among Benjamin Gilmour's talents, is that of writing. An engaging, well written and well executed account of his experiences as a paramedic in Sydney.
One person losing their life to suicide is one person too many. Working in emergency services, I know first-hand the horrific situations and scenes first responders attend and the extraordinary service they provide to those needing in the community. To the service women and men, first on scene, you are exceptional people.
"You don't need to take your life to make people listen." (p235)
"I've met some survivors of suicide who've told me they didn't want to die so much as stop living the life they had, and if there'd been an alternative...they might have taken that. Suicidal ideations triggered by circumstances may be an indication that we need to reinvent ourselves and start afresh." (p253)
Benjamin Gilmour, keep saving lives and don't stop writing.
One person losing their life to suicide is one person too many. Working in emergency services, I know first-hand the horrific situations and scenes first responders attend and the extraordinary service they provide to those needing in the community. To the service women and men, first on scene, you are exceptional people.
"You don't need to take your life to make people listen." (p235)
"I've met some survivors of suicide who've told me they didn't want to die so much as stop living the life they had, and if there'd been an alternative...they might have taken that. Suicidal ideations triggered by circumstances may be an indication that we need to reinvent ourselves and start afresh." (p253)
Benjamin Gilmour, keep saving lives and don't stop writing.
February 16, 2021
“I was the last image she saw. When I come to breathe my last, I hope to be looking at the people I love. Not the sweaty face of a hapless paramedic.”
Benjamin's writing style had me forgetting I was reading at all. I was in the ambulance with him, bouncing over every bump in the road. From cardiac arrest patients exhaling their final breath to an ingrown toenail, I was crying and laughing in the same minute.
Most importantly, The Gap tells a story a haunting story of suicide.
Loved it.
Benjamin's writing style had me forgetting I was reading at all. I was in the ambulance with him, bouncing over every bump in the road. From cardiac arrest patients exhaling their final breath to an ingrown toenail, I was crying and laughing in the same minute.
Most importantly, The Gap tells a story a haunting story of suicide.
Loved it.
April 4, 2021
Brilliant book, but god it is so heartbreaking at times. Sadly I knew how John's story was going to end, and at times when reading this book, I felt tears well up.
We don't value our Paramedics enough, and like other emergency service personnel, we leave them to do their job, never paying attention to the situations they see.
Advise anyone thinking of being a Ambo to read this book, just for the reality check.
We don't value our Paramedics enough, and like other emergency service personnel, we leave them to do their job, never paying attention to the situations they see.
Advise anyone thinking of being a Ambo to read this book, just for the reality check.
July 5, 2021
Beautiful, emotional, raw…… bless Benjamin Gilmour for writing this book…. As a paramedic myself I feel all of those feels he talked about & the stories he told….. this is crux of what the job is like these day. Thank you Ben for reminding us of why we do the job & that we individually aren’t the only ones whom feel this way…. I can’t begin to imagine how hard working at the gap must have truly been. Thank you for your insight x
September 22, 2019
A very evocative and thought provoking read. Such a genuine personal account with great insight into the world of the Paramedic - wrapped into a genuinely moving and raw story.
Having lived in Sydney at the time the book is set it's also a beautiful reminder through Ben's eyes of the nooks and crannies of this interesting city and its people.
Great read!
Having lived in Sydney at the time the book is set it's also a beautiful reminder through Ben's eyes of the nooks and crannies of this interesting city and its people.
Great read!
November 8, 2019
Loved it. Couldn’t put it down and ended up reading cover to cover. This book is as good as ‘This Is Going to Hurt’ by Adam Kay. What a privilege and a heavy burden it is to be part of a strangers life during their darkest hours. Condolences to all that are part of this story.
October 23, 2019
Don't let that cartoony cover fool you, this is no walk in the park. It's tough, relentless and gritty. There's a lot about death and suicide, and the many forms of human misery. Not for the faint hearted. Absolutely compelling for anyone involved in emergency services.
October 13, 2019
A knockout book. Borne of blistering first hand experience, it's darkly funny, deeply human, and intensely moving. Highly recommended!
September 22, 2019
I read it in one sitting. I love the honesty, humour and insight. A great follow up to Paramedico, which is well worth a read too if you enjoyed this.
October 2, 2019
Essential reading. Loved this audiobook. Tears and laughter.
April 9, 2020
CW: Suicide, depression
3.5 Stars
3.5 Stars
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 24, 2021
Truly incredible! The stories of a paramedic in the heart of Sydney re-telling his experiences of the summer. Makes you see what devastation & hilarity paramedics face day to day
Displaying 1 - 30 of 102 reviews