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Singing Out Loud: A Memoir of an Ex-Mardi Gras Queen
Born during World War II, Marilee Eaves has long struggled to fit into the New Orleans elite—secret Mardi Gras societies that ruled the city—into which she was born. Then, as a student at Wellesley, she’s hospitalized at McLean psychiatric hospital, where she begins to realize how much of herself she’s sacrificed to blend into and be fully accepted by the exclusive and exclusionary white Uptown New Orleans culture to which she supposedly belongs.
In Singing Out Loud, Eaves tells of her journey to stand on her own two feet—to find a way to be grounded and evolved in the midst of that culture. Along the way, she wrestles with bipolar disorder, alcoholism, and the effects of her bad (heartbreaking, and sometimes hilarious) choices. Raw and funny, this book offers hope and encouragement to those willing to be vulnerable, address their issues, and laugh at themself in order to embrace who they truly are.
In Singing Out Loud, Eaves tells of her journey to stand on her own two feet—to find a way to be grounded and evolved in the midst of that culture. Along the way, she wrestles with bipolar disorder, alcoholism, and the effects of her bad (heartbreaking, and sometimes hilarious) choices. Raw and funny, this book offers hope and encouragement to those willing to be vulnerable, address their issues, and laugh at themself in order to embrace who they truly are.
- GenresNonfiction
258 pages, Kindle Edition
Published November 19, 2019
About the author
Marilee Eaves
1 book20 followersMarilee Eaves spent nearly five decades of her life struggling to break free of the Uptown New Orleans world she’d been born into—a long line of royalty, kings and queens of the secret elitist Mardi Gras societies that ruled the city.
She moved to Seattle three months before Katrina in 2005, and then returned to NOLA in 2018, where she writes looking out on the St. Charles streetcars and seasonal parades. Today Marilee spends time with daughters, grandchildren, and old friends, delighting in the shifts she observes in the city.
Eaves has published articles in New Orleans Museum of Art’s Arts Quarterly, Episcopal Diocese of Louisiana’s Churchwork, Madrona News, Touch Magazine and The Awakenings Review. Singing Out Loud is her first book.
She moved to Seattle three months before Katrina in 2005, and then returned to NOLA in 2018, where she writes looking out on the St. Charles streetcars and seasonal parades. Today Marilee spends time with daughters, grandchildren, and old friends, delighting in the shifts she observes in the city.
Eaves has published articles in New Orleans Museum of Art’s Arts Quarterly, Episcopal Diocese of Louisiana’s Churchwork, Madrona News, Touch Magazine and The Awakenings Review. Singing Out Loud is her first book.
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
September 2, 2019
Singing Out Loud - A Memoir of an Ex-Mardi Gras Queen
Marilee Eaves
Review by Barbara Bamberger Scott
In this highly personal retrospective, author Marilee Eaves recreates a childhood of privilege and the gradual development of wisdom and the wish to give back.
Eaves’ book opens at a critical juncture. Consigned to a locked hospital ward after a psychotic breakdown in her early college years, she receives a phone call from her mother insisting that she return home to New Orleans to be the Queen of the Krewe of Osiris Ball during the coming year’s debutante celebrations. Like her mother and grandmother, Eaves was expected to relish this honor, which denoted her as “royal” in NOLA’s lofty social circles. With trepidation she agrees, thus subsuming her own wishes, fears and ambitions to take her role in family tradition. Eaves describes her upbringing surrounded by luxuries but unsettled by a neglectful mother, an overbearing stepfather, a weight problem, and a slowly growing urge to escape. The life to which she was heiress would have seemed to some like a paradise of gala events, servants, prestige and even an overseas cruise. But it also included almost constant psychiatric therapies in adulthood, confusion, infidelities and more than one mental collapse.
Her slow climb up and out of emotional chaos entailed twice giving up addictive substances on her own, trying to raise three bright daughters while healing herself, the dissolution of one marriage and in the second, being forced to choose loyalty to her partner over interests of her birth family. A turning point occurred when she decided to resign from the garden club and the Junior League – two organizations of paramount importance to women of her social class. Eaves’ journey from personal torment was masked, sometimes literally, by the glitter of her social privilege. Yet she determined to befriend the black servants who so tenderly cared for her and her siblings, calling them their “white children.” A move to Seattle sealed the compact she made with herself as a spiritually inclined feminist. She discovered the curative practice of Reiki and became a master practitioner. Months after the move, Katrina hit her former home, as had been predicted to her in a private reading by a noted psychic. Going back, comparing the storm’s devastation to the past glory of her childhood haunts, provided further meaningful insights.
Singing Out Loud is a memoir that sweeps us up into the heady life of “royalty” in a special American setting, and leads us much farther, through empathy with the author’s setbacks and triumphs. Insights into race, class and gender pervade the book and reveal the author’s zeal to change, and through changing, to reach out to others, offering healing based in intuition and hard experience.
(The reviewer received an advanced reader's copy of this book.)
Marilee Eaves
Review by Barbara Bamberger Scott
In this highly personal retrospective, author Marilee Eaves recreates a childhood of privilege and the gradual development of wisdom and the wish to give back.
Eaves’ book opens at a critical juncture. Consigned to a locked hospital ward after a psychotic breakdown in her early college years, she receives a phone call from her mother insisting that she return home to New Orleans to be the Queen of the Krewe of Osiris Ball during the coming year’s debutante celebrations. Like her mother and grandmother, Eaves was expected to relish this honor, which denoted her as “royal” in NOLA’s lofty social circles. With trepidation she agrees, thus subsuming her own wishes, fears and ambitions to take her role in family tradition. Eaves describes her upbringing surrounded by luxuries but unsettled by a neglectful mother, an overbearing stepfather, a weight problem, and a slowly growing urge to escape. The life to which she was heiress would have seemed to some like a paradise of gala events, servants, prestige and even an overseas cruise. But it also included almost constant psychiatric therapies in adulthood, confusion, infidelities and more than one mental collapse.
Her slow climb up and out of emotional chaos entailed twice giving up addictive substances on her own, trying to raise three bright daughters while healing herself, the dissolution of one marriage and in the second, being forced to choose loyalty to her partner over interests of her birth family. A turning point occurred when she decided to resign from the garden club and the Junior League – two organizations of paramount importance to women of her social class. Eaves’ journey from personal torment was masked, sometimes literally, by the glitter of her social privilege. Yet she determined to befriend the black servants who so tenderly cared for her and her siblings, calling them their “white children.” A move to Seattle sealed the compact she made with herself as a spiritually inclined feminist. She discovered the curative practice of Reiki and became a master practitioner. Months after the move, Katrina hit her former home, as had been predicted to her in a private reading by a noted psychic. Going back, comparing the storm’s devastation to the past glory of her childhood haunts, provided further meaningful insights.
Singing Out Loud is a memoir that sweeps us up into the heady life of “royalty” in a special American setting, and leads us much farther, through empathy with the author’s setbacks and triumphs. Insights into race, class and gender pervade the book and reveal the author’s zeal to change, and through changing, to reach out to others, offering healing based in intuition and hard experience.
(The reviewer received an advanced reader's copy of this book.)
November 19, 2019
** I received an ARC for my honest review prior to release date. I do not know the author and have not been compensated for this independent review. **
Marilee Eaves was born into New Orleans royalty. It was a fairytale life that every little girl dreamed of - or was it? Of that life, Eaves writes “I think my family had been preparing me to take my place in the family tradition and grooming me for the possibility of being a queen my whole life.”
By her own admission, Eaves was a born people-pleaser. Unfortunately, she would spend much of her life trying to live up to the harsh expectations of family and society alike. And in doing so her life became a series of growths and set-backs that threatened her physical and emotional health.
Through the pages of her memoir (which spans several decades) readers are treated to inside peeks at Mardi-Gras balls and parades. Readers such as myself who have never been to Mardi Gras may be surprised at the rigid, patriarchal ways of the New Orleans elite.
Ms. Eaves’ life is at once unique in the elite societal nature but it is also every woman’s story. Few can identify with the balls, soirées, crowns and scepters but most can identify with an inherent need to please others and win the approval of parents. Likewise, many can relate to her need as a parent to not repeat the same behaviors that had led to strained mother-daughter relationships. Some may well identify with the high psychological toll that such behaviors can take.
She is painfully open and honest about her own mother’s role in shattering her self-esteem to the point of in-patient psychiatric interventions. Eaves’ gift is her ability to persevere in her quest to regain her mental health and lead a satisfying life through constant evolution and exploration. By sharing those efforts with her readers she becomes a light in the darkness for many.
Reading Ms. Eaves’ Singing Out Loud will evoke a wide range of emotions in readers. As I read her final words I found myself wanting to reach out and hug her - tell her that she is beautiful from her very core - and applaud her for the courage I’m sure it took to confront her life in such a raw, honest way.
Marilee Eaves was born into New Orleans royalty. It was a fairytale life that every little girl dreamed of - or was it? Of that life, Eaves writes “I think my family had been preparing me to take my place in the family tradition and grooming me for the possibility of being a queen my whole life.”
By her own admission, Eaves was a born people-pleaser. Unfortunately, she would spend much of her life trying to live up to the harsh expectations of family and society alike. And in doing so her life became a series of growths and set-backs that threatened her physical and emotional health.
Through the pages of her memoir (which spans several decades) readers are treated to inside peeks at Mardi-Gras balls and parades. Readers such as myself who have never been to Mardi Gras may be surprised at the rigid, patriarchal ways of the New Orleans elite.
Ms. Eaves’ life is at once unique in the elite societal nature but it is also every woman’s story. Few can identify with the balls, soirées, crowns and scepters but most can identify with an inherent need to please others and win the approval of parents. Likewise, many can relate to her need as a parent to not repeat the same behaviors that had led to strained mother-daughter relationships. Some may well identify with the high psychological toll that such behaviors can take.
She is painfully open and honest about her own mother’s role in shattering her self-esteem to the point of in-patient psychiatric interventions. Eaves’ gift is her ability to persevere in her quest to regain her mental health and lead a satisfying life through constant evolution and exploration. By sharing those efforts with her readers she becomes a light in the darkness for many.
Reading Ms. Eaves’ Singing Out Loud will evoke a wide range of emotions in readers. As I read her final words I found myself wanting to reach out and hug her - tell her that she is beautiful from her very core - and applaud her for the courage I’m sure it took to confront her life in such a raw, honest way.
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October 13, 2019reviewed for library journal
January 16, 2020
Singing Out Loud
By Marilee Eaves
2020
Reviewed by Angie Mangino
Rating: 4 stars
This memoir of an ex-Mardi Gras Queen begins with the summons from her mother.
“In early spring of 1962, while I was living in a locked ward at McLean Hospital, no longer hallucinating, in therapy every day and recovering from the psychotic break that had landed me there, an attendant came to my room to tell me I had a phone call. …’Marilee,’ my mother said, ‘you’ve been invited to be Queen of the Krewe of Osiris Ball for next year’s debutante season!’ She was so excited. I could hear it in the upbeat pitch of her voice.”
The author is willing to be vulnerable sharing her mental health struggles as she looks to find herself amid the backdrop of her life in New Orleans as part of the Mardi Gras society. Her family lineage has her next in line in this elitist membership of kings and queens of the Mardi Gras. This culture embraces her as it suffocates her.
The tone of the book aptly sets the tone of her life: sometimes funny, sometimes frustrating, sometimes happy, sometimes sad.
Readers will come to a new understanding of the history and culture of the Mardi Gras while gaining a better insight into the reality of those dealing with mental health issues.
https://amzn.to/2Nu0wG4
Angie Mangino currently works as a freelance journalist, author, and book reviewer, additionally offering authors personalized critique service and copyediting of unpublished manuscripts. www.AngieMangino.com
By Marilee Eaves
2020
Reviewed by Angie Mangino
Rating: 4 stars
This memoir of an ex-Mardi Gras Queen begins with the summons from her mother.
“In early spring of 1962, while I was living in a locked ward at McLean Hospital, no longer hallucinating, in therapy every day and recovering from the psychotic break that had landed me there, an attendant came to my room to tell me I had a phone call. …’Marilee,’ my mother said, ‘you’ve been invited to be Queen of the Krewe of Osiris Ball for next year’s debutante season!’ She was so excited. I could hear it in the upbeat pitch of her voice.”
The author is willing to be vulnerable sharing her mental health struggles as she looks to find herself amid the backdrop of her life in New Orleans as part of the Mardi Gras society. Her family lineage has her next in line in this elitist membership of kings and queens of the Mardi Gras. This culture embraces her as it suffocates her.
The tone of the book aptly sets the tone of her life: sometimes funny, sometimes frustrating, sometimes happy, sometimes sad.
Readers will come to a new understanding of the history and culture of the Mardi Gras while gaining a better insight into the reality of those dealing with mental health issues.
https://amzn.to/2Nu0wG4
Angie Mangino currently works as a freelance journalist, author, and book reviewer, additionally offering authors personalized critique service and copyediting of unpublished manuscripts. www.AngieMangino.com
November 10, 2019
Mardi Gras and Fat Tuesday are synonymous with New Orleans and until I read Marilea Eaves’ memoir, Singing Out Loud, they were mere events on the calendar that marked the onset of Lent. The author has skillfully and eloquently provided a first-hand account of an elaborate, pressured life underneath the surface of the New Orleans Mardi Gras community. As a longstanding tradition within her family, Mardi Gras represented her family’s strong commitment to New Orleans’ high society dating back to her grandfather. As a young woman she was expected to uphold this family tradition, to sacrifice her own true self for this greater cause. She shows how she was swept up in the glitz and glamour of ornate balls, jeweled crowns and cumbersome ball gowns at the expense of herself. She takes us on a rollercoaster ride of addiction, failed marriages, and psychotic breaks in vivid detail. Underlying these challenges is a raging river of lifelong discord with her mother’s unrealistic expectations, which she simultaneously rebels against while caving into them. This is a coming-of-age story of s young woman who breaks away to find herself then circles back to reconnect—in her words —to her healthy self so she can enjoy the parts of the New Orleans experience she has always held dear. She writes with passion ,humor and a raw honesty that kept me turning the pages. I will never see Mardi Gras in the same way again! An engaging and provocative read.
Sent from my iPhone
Sent from my iPhone
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January 20, 2020Mardi Gras is an annual pre-Lenten event celebrated in many places on “Fat Tuesday”, but no city defines it like New Orleans. With hundreds of years of French cultural underpinning, Mardi Gras is the raison d’etre of New Orleans society, a fusion of Christianity and old Southern and French families. The entire social season is planned around Mardi Gras.
Singing Out Loud is a memoir by Marillee Eaves, a woman who is stifled by the old social customs and seeks definition in the new. Her 1950’s childhood took place when all upper-class families had long-time Negro help who wore gray uniforms with white aprons. Generations of her relatives belonged to various “krewes” where the daughters made their debuts while serving as queens and court members at multiple winter balls leading up to Mardi Gras. Marliee’s life was expected to follow this pattern.
Her unease with familial expectations was complicated by a diagnosis of bi-polar disorder while in college. Interrupted by periods of depression and anxiety during adulthood, it was difficult for Marilee to separate these episodes from the emotional anguish resulting from her steps to separate from tradition. In spite of these complications, Marilee was able to focus keenly on advancing her education, establishing a meaningful career, achieving excellence in areas of interest while developing loving relationships.
Marilee’s journey is a story of the emotional toll of breaking with family traditions, the perseverance to forge a new direction and the resilience to weather the storm. Against the backdrop of a New Orleans, cleansed by Hurricane Katrina, Singing Out Loud is a testament to women defining their authentic selves and finding joy in the journey.
Singing Out Loud is a memoir by Marillee Eaves, a woman who is stifled by the old social customs and seeks definition in the new. Her 1950’s childhood took place when all upper-class families had long-time Negro help who wore gray uniforms with white aprons. Generations of her relatives belonged to various “krewes” where the daughters made their debuts while serving as queens and court members at multiple winter balls leading up to Mardi Gras. Marliee’s life was expected to follow this pattern.
Her unease with familial expectations was complicated by a diagnosis of bi-polar disorder while in college. Interrupted by periods of depression and anxiety during adulthood, it was difficult for Marilee to separate these episodes from the emotional anguish resulting from her steps to separate from tradition. In spite of these complications, Marilee was able to focus keenly on advancing her education, establishing a meaningful career, achieving excellence in areas of interest while developing loving relationships.
Marilee’s journey is a story of the emotional toll of breaking with family traditions, the perseverance to forge a new direction and the resilience to weather the storm. Against the backdrop of a New Orleans, cleansed by Hurricane Katrina, Singing Out Loud is a testament to women defining their authentic selves and finding joy in the journey.
August 2, 2021
Such a crazy dramatic book so much like me and so fun
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews