Mrs. Astor Regrets: The Hidden Betrayals of a Family Beyond Reproach

by Meryl Gordon, Lorna Raver (Narrator)

The fate of Brooke Astor, the endearing philanthropist with the storied name, has generated worldwide headlines since her grandson Philip sued his father in 2006, alleging mistreatment of Brooke. And shortly after her death in 2007, Anthony Marshall, Mrs. Astor's only child, was indicted on charges of looting her estate. Rarely has there been a story with such an appealing heroine, conjuring up a world so nearly a realm of lavish wealth and secrets of the sort that have engaged Americans from the era of Edith Wharton to the more recent days of Truman Capote and Vanity Fair. New York journalist Meryl Gordon has interviewed not only the elite of Brooke Astor's social circle but also the large staff who cosseted and cared for Mrs. Astor during her declining years. The result is the behind-the-headlines story of the Astor empire's unraveling, filled with never-before-reported scenes. This powerful, poignant saga takes the listener inside the gilded gates of an American dynasty to tell of three generations' worth of longing and missed opportunities. Even in this territory of privilege, no riches can put things right once they've been torn asunder. Here is an American epic of the bonds of money, morality, and social position.

Genres: Biography, Nonfiction, History, Biography Memoir, Book Club, Audiobook, True Crime

Audiobook

First published January 1, 2008

Reviews

[GoldGato · Rating 3 out of 5]

Those East Coast heiresses of Gilded Age wealth. I just can't get enough of their life stories, squandered wealth, unhappy lives, and complicated family ties. No matter how badly my life may be going, I remember that the simple life can be worth more than American Excess. This book joins the pantheon of similar lives, such as Barbara Hutton (Poor Little Rich Girl: Life and Legend of Barbara Hutton), the Beales (Edith Bouvier Beale of Grey Gardens: A Life in Pictures), Gloria Vanderbilt (Little Gloria... Happy at Last), and Huguette Clark (Empty Mansions: The Mysterious Life of Huguette Clark and the Spending of a Great American Fortune).

Brooke Astor's husband was the son of John Jacob Astor, who perished on the Titanic, so I was immediately hooked. The tales of money spent and money fought over were particularly sad, as Mrs. Astor lived until the great age of 105, which meant fragility for her and opportunity for others.

Book Season = Summer (never look in any horse's mouth)

[Nicholas · Rating 2 out of 5]

Fresh on the heels of reading about Huguette Clark and her many millions and even more eccentricities in Empty Mansions, I decided to read Mrs. Astor Regrets. I guess I was on a New York society heiress/possible elder abuse kick. This reader regrets that Mrs. Astor Regrets was actually a bit of a slog. I think the problem, aside from the fact that Meryl Gordon is a clunky writer, is also that she relied too much on the newsworthiness of her subjects and forgot occasionally to tell an interesting story. Or maybe this story just isn't that interesting. Yes, Brooke Astor was among New York's most famous philanthropists, and yes, she had a fair number of famous friends (Barbara Walters, Annette de la Renta, various Rockefellers). But when the book devolves into a he said/she said about whether or not one of her dachshunds really did or did not urinate on a particular blue couch, you know you're bored. The people may be famous, but the details themselves are often profoundly tedious.

The other problem is that Meryl Gordon is reverential about the Astor family, just because they were rich, often seeming to condemn the publicity-hungry journalists and members of the public who wanted to infiltrate their (supposedly sacrosanct) privacy. But of course Gordon herself is part of this problem. And for all that she tells us, there is no great moral to this story, unless perhaps it's "don't fire most of your 105-year-old Alzheimer's-stricken mother's staff and pressure her into modifying her will so she'll leave you more millions than she was going to in the first place." No, mostly this is just high society gossip, but Gordon treats it as something much more profound. An that's just silly. Finally, for all the reverence with which most people talked about Brooke Astor, and for all that she clearly did for the Met and the NYPL, she actually sounded pretty awful on a personal level.

[HR-ML · Rating 4 out of 5]

***Caution; domestic violence reference***

Non-fiction paperback edition. Parts of this read almost
like a novel and had some suspense.

Roberta Brooke Russell was the dtr of a Marine Corps
General. Brooke wed:

1) Dryden Kuser.
A state senator who drank too much & subjected her to
domestic violence IE marital rape & beatings, one
resulting in a fractured jaw. They had a son Tony.

2) Buddy Marshall.
The love of her life, he adopted Tony, Buddy died 20 yrs.
into the marriage.

3) Vincent Astor.
Described as a 'morose drunk' but not mean. He was
crazy about her twin grandsons Philip & Alec. He died
5.5 yrs after he wed Brooke and left her $62M & he'd
also established an Astor Foundation for libraries &
museums. After difficult Tony, Brooke ensured she had
no further children.

Tony Marshall served as a Marine war hero in WW2 &
bought 3 ambassadorships (the last in Kenya) from
President Nixon. Tony served for a time in the CIA.
Brooke ensured he had connections and a job. From
1980 onward Brooke pd him fulltime to manage her
personal money & investments (but not the foundation).
She didn't feel close to Tony who resembled his sire
(her 1st husband) in looks. Yrs later she detested Tony's
3rd wife (bossy) Charlene.

Brooke became a popular philanthropist & social butterfly.
The author described her as flirty w/ men, even gay men.
She thought of younger Annette de la Renta (spouse of
the designer) like her daughter. These ladies mingled w/
bros Laurence & David Rockefeller, Jackie O, Barbara
Walters, Mike Wallace and so on.

Brooke became more frail & had: dementia (Alzheimer's
diagnosed in yr 2000), hearing issues, hip fracture & CA.
With time she required round-the-clock nursing in her
home. Yrs earlier she'd made Tony her Power of Attorney
for finances. The nurses kept notebooks on Brooke's
medical & mental conditions & her moods & anything
that frightened her. Two bookkeepers reported to him
& 'cut the checks' he specified and unknown to him,
one kept a record of his odd expenditures.

Grandson Phil (a college professor) visited Brooke & saw
her dirty house & a sofa which smelled of dog urine.
Tony had fired staff who Brooke cherished: her butler,
French chef, gardeners, chauffer etc. No one was in charge
& no one ensured the dogs were walked. And his grandma
had a poor appetite (& was offered a limited pureed menu).
She seldom went outside, seldom saw her dogs. Tony gave
these above directions to new staff, so in essence he crushed
the things (familiar staff, her dogs, fresh air and nature)
which gave Brooke joy.

Phil initiated a meeting w/ Annette & also David Rockefeller
RE his concerns. The New York Court made Annette & Chase
Bank temporary co-Guardians of Brooke. In this process
they discovered that Tony had tricked her into signing a
new Will in 2004 via his attorneys, used $900K of her funds
(w/o her knowledge) toward financing his Broadway plays.
He gave her the impression she was nearly broke & needed
to sell one of her prized Impressionist paintings. It sold for
$10M & he gave himself a $2M commission. She'd intended
to donate that painting to a museum upon her death. Tony
& wife moved into a Maine country home Brooke gave them,
but unknown to her, Brooke pd for the upkeep.

Annette hired back Brooke's fav. staff members & helped
her move to her beloved New York country home.

Tony was charged w/ 16 criminal counts involving taking
advantage of his mom's diminished mental capacity in
order to swindle her out of millions +valuable property!
(pg 268.)He also had Frank Morrisey Jr. be her escort (when
she still attended social events.) He and Tony were charged
w/ conspiring to have Brooke sign 2 codicils to her Will &
Frank allegedly forged her signature on the 2nd document.
Frank's law license was previously suspended x 2 years for
irregularities. Tony & spouse insisted they were innocent
(wrong!) Friends w/ power ostracized these 2.

This book documented the worst greed.

Revised.

[Kimberly · Rating 4 out of 5]

only negative in a well researched and even handed account is that the book ends without the final outcomes of both the criminal trial and the estate disbursement.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book just made me sad--first, for Brooke Astor's son, Tony Marshall, who seemed to live his entire life trying to get his mother to love him and then, for Brooke Astor herself, who spent the last ten years or so of her life in a slow decline that all the money in the world couldn't remedy. The book was well-researched and Gordon seems to have snagged interviews with everyone who ever spoke to Brooke Astor--but I wished she had devoted a little more time to the early lives of Brooke Astor and the other key players in the book. Sometimes, too, I had trouble keeping everyone and certain events straight--but all in all, a riveting book...

[Kathleen Gilroy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Schadenfreude to the max. Woe to the society grande dame who ignores her only son and lives to be 105. Woe to the son who consciously or unconsciously gets her back by firing her staff and leaving her to fester on a dog-urine stained couch in her palatial Park Avenue apartment. Woe to the grandson who decides that his father and her scheming third wife must be removed as guardians. Detailed, super-juicy account of one of the big society page scandals of the last decade. Highly recommend, if you like that sort of thing.

[BAM doesn’t answer to her real name · Rating 2 out of 5]

This isn't the story about the Astor family and its fortune I want to hear. This is about elderly abuse and neglect, a gross, shameful injustice against a poor 100 year old Alzheimer's patient. Shoots to close to home.

[Terri · Rating 5 out of 5]

The title is telling. Mrs. Astor Regrets is not so much about her fascinating life of people, power, and position as it is about greed and money substituting for love.

"Her ability to dispense millions made her powerful and popular" and it also made her prey.

Brooke Astor's son from her first marriage, Tony Marshall, is a man to be pitied. Brooke never wanted him from the start and he was always a reminder to her of her wretched first marriage. She could not separate the two. And there is poor Tony at eighty-three years old still trying desperately to make the world and himself believe that his mother loved him.

So in the end, he substitutes money for love and tries to make off with millions of his mother's money. His third wife, Charlene, is a detriment to his character and seems to provoke him to unseemly behavior.

I found the book fascinating, but you must understand; the title clearly tells you that this book will be about, 'hidden betrayals of a family beyond reproach," not the life of Brooke Astor, the socialite, though there is some of that as well. It is a great picture of how easy it is to always want just a little bit more.

[Don Trowden · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book found its way onto my bedside table and was a highly entertaining and well-researched read. The book's organization and the high quality of the writing make it rise above other similar works. I felt the author was being fair to all the players, which is why at the end it came across as a modern-day tragedy, where all lost more than they had bargained for. Anyone who has dealt with or is dealing with an elderly parent, memory loss, and inheritance of any size should relate to this very public story.

[Doreen Petersen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fascinating book! Well worth reading!

[Dena · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recently became fascinated with the Astor family and have started reading books about the family. It is quite a story

[Tanya Wadley · Rating 4 out of 5]

More like 3 1/2 stars. In some ways the book seems like a gossipy, inside view of a wealthy family and their troubles. I listened to this on CD while cleaning and doing laundry. I thought the reader and the book went well together.

I found it to be very interesting, and ultimately a very good read because of the lessons to be learned. It is actually heartbreaking that Anthony Marshall was mothered the way he was... it's sad that a woman who was such an amazing philanthropist helped create a son with complex insecurities and a desire to right the wrongs done to him. It's too bad he could not have worked through his issues in a more productive way than denying his mother some of the luxuries she was used to in her last years and dishonestly changing her will to benefit him instead of those she wanted to benefit.

I felt sorry for Charlene and what she must have suffered all those years serving a mother-in-law who never loved or appreciated her. She's not a person who invited sympathy, but probably deserved a big dose.

This story may have had a happy ending with lots of therapy, prayer, efforts to improve family relationships, and willingness to accept that people can do whatever they want with their money. The sense of entitlement many people feel leads to mistakes, crime, and misery as shown in this book.

Quite a tragic story. My hope for Mr. Marshall and his sons is a reconciliation that will help them enjoy peace the remainder of their lives. Although I think what Mr. Marhsall and his wife did was wrong, it would seem to me fair that they have only financial penalties.

[Pat Mckay · Rating 1 out of 5]

Would be rated higher if the author had waited for the end of the trial, instead of leaving the reader hanging!

[Candy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mrs. Astor Regrets: The Hidden Betrayals of a Family Beyond Reproach by Meryl Gordon (5 Stars)

Brooke Russell was born March 30, 1902, in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. Her mother had been raised quite comfortably and married for love. However, her husband’s career was in the Marine Corps and while it included living in exotic places, it didn’t pay as much as she would like. When the opportunity arose for their daughter Brooke to date wealthy John Kuser, her mother helped the relationship along. Brooke married young and for money, but Kuser was abusive, breaking Brooke’s jaw while she was pregnant. The couple had one son, Anthony (Tony), and Brooke filed for divorce shortly after.

While Brooke’s second husband, Charles Marshall (Buddy), was also wealthy, this time she primarily married for love. While Tony admired Buddy enough to change his last name to Marshall, the feeling wasn’t reciprocated. Buddy wasn’t fond of Tony, and he was shipped off to boarding school. As for Brooke’s feelings toward her sone, she had suggested Tony was the result of marital rape, and her relationship with Tony was less than warm and loving. The Marshalls were married for 20 years, when Buddy died suddenly of a heart attack.

Eleven months later, Brooke married Vincent Astor, son of John Jacob Astor IV, one of the richest men in the world. The 47-year-old Astor divorced Vincent’s wife and married 18-year-old socialite Madeleine Talmage Force. To escape the gossip of polite society talking about their scandalous relationship, the couple took a trip to Europe. Upon finding out Madeleine was pregnant, they booked passage on the RMS Titanic to return home. Of course, Astor hadn’t yet changed his will and the bulk of his fortune, estimated to be $90 to $150 million, passed to Vincent when he perished. Vincent turned to philanthropy, establishing The Vincent Astor Foundation, whose purpose was “alleviating human misery.”

Brooke married Vincent for money, and as difficult as life with Vincent was, it appears she made the best of it. As Brooke's friend Louis Auchincloss stated, “She married Vincent for the money. I wouldn't respect her if she hadn't. Only a twisted person would have married him for love.” Vincent was an anti-social alcoholic, while Brooke thrived on being with people. After Vincent’s death, Brooke took over the reins at The Vincent Astor Foundation, as well as being on the board of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. The foundation benefited libraries, museums, schools, universities, settlement houses and community improvement groups. As Brooke said, “Money is like manure, it’s not worth a thing unless it's spread around.” She appeared to take a genuine interest in the foundation doing good, and wanted to ensure that each project was in keeping with Vincent’s vision. Or, did she just feed off the adulation, power and influence that she was able to buy with her money?

As for Brooke’s dysfunctional relationship with her son, she perceived Tony’s life as a reflection on her, and she didn’t see any ambition or drive in him. While Tony was a World War II hero in the Marine Corps and worked for the CIA, Brooke never seemed to believe he could amount to much on his own. Brooke’s political donations were behind Marshall’s appointment as U.S. consul in Istanbul and ambassador to the Malagasy Republic, Trinidad and Tobago, Kenya and the Seychelles. Tony then began managing Brooke’s money, drawing a salary of $450,000 and serving on boards Brooke appointed him to. Brooke led Tony to believe he might one day run The Vincent Astor Foundation. As Tony’s aspiration seemed to be as well-liked, admired and respected as Brooke, he felt it cruel when she suddenly closed the foundation, saying there wasn’t an Astor to run it as Tony wasn’t an Astor. In addition, Tony’s third wife, Charlene, was the bane of Brooke’s existence. Brooke despised her, and never lost an opportunity to humiliate the couple. Did he have drive and ambition, or was it easier to rely on his mother’s connections? Did he endure her humiliations as a means of gaining her love and respect? Both questions remain unanswered in my mind.

Fast forward to Brooke at 104 years of age, suffering from Alzheimer’s disease. Brooke’s grandson is mortified at Brooke’s living conditions. While her NYC apartment is without central air conditioning, there are many properties she owns that would be more suitable, with cooling ocean breezes and lush gardens. Not to mention, the apartment isn’t exactly in a state of squalor, but someone with her money (emphasis on HER MONEY, not Tony’s or Charlene’s) should be able to pay someone to regularly walk the dachshunds instead of letting them use the dining room, clean the urine-stained sofa and perhaps make something more appetizing than pureed liver and vegetables. What should have been a simple guardianship hearing turns into much more, because money, big money, is involved. Eventually, criminal charges of grand larceny, criminal possession of stolen property, forgery, scheming to defraud, falsifying business records, offering a false instrument for filing and conspiracy will be filed, and Brooke’s fractured family will never be the same.

Brooke Astor was certainly one of a kind. She was the doyenne of high-society, living a life of lavish luxury beyond my comprehension. While her Sleepy Hollow grave bears the epitaph, “I had a wonderful life,” I’m not sure if that was a deep-down truth, or a facade she hid behind for a century, because to her, appearances were everything. While she had plenty of influence, power and money, this tragic fairy tale is just sad, sordid and tarnished but makes for a fascinating read!

https://candysplanet.wordpress.com/

[Sara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting story of family greed. Brooke Astor’s third husband, Victor Astor, wanted little to do with her adult son Tony Marshall. She followed his wishes. Their relationship was strained, and she was actually closer to Tony’s son, Phillip. Tony appears to have become overcome with greed. His actions led to questions about guardianship of his elderly mother. As that investigation was happening, evidence was uncovered where Tony had changed his mother’s will and stolen paintings and jewelry. The guardianship was changed and Brooke was able to die peacefully at 105. Tony was charged and the book ended.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lifestyles of the rich and greedy, as the son of the last Mrs. Astor and his piggish wife steal her money and leave her to languish in dementia. Sad end for a society icon, who lived until 105.

[The Real Beka Counts · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is good but this book is very sad. Money seems to only cause bad feelings towards the family members with it.

[J · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read this in a day while self-isolating at home with a cold. It was a delicious guilty pleasure!

Brooke Astor was raised to marry well and launched into her first marriage at 16 to an abusive rich husband. She divorces him after 10 years and a son (and multiple affairs) to marry "the love of her life" - aka her current affair partner. Husband #2 lasts 20 years until his death. Brooke now 40 and fearing for her financial future, remarries within a year. Husband #3 is Vincent Astor, who is also searching for a replacement wife.

So at 40 years old, Brooke becomes "Mrs. Astor". Vincent is older and cranky; they seem to have a loveless but fair arrangement. He gives her money and status, she keeps him comfortable and entertained. After 5.5 years, the arrangement sours and they are both pondering divorce. But then, Vincent dies. Like a game of musical chairs, Brooke is left as the "last Mrs. Astor". She gets to retain the name and control over the family fortune. She spends the rest of her life (age 45-105) playing Mrs. Astor: setting social standards, donating multi-millions and creating her own self-mythology in the New York Society.

This is the stuff of rich people daydreams. The story rings true to me based on my (limited) experience with the uber-wealthy. Social ties, unspoken rules, morally flexibility, being entertaining (not boring) at all costs. Feeling like you are "playing" being rich as you carve out your new role. Keeping your spouse/family separate from Society, unless they are "in Society" like you. Seeking validation through philanthropy, competitive seats on Boards and involvement with the arts. Being warm and gracious in one situation and extremely catty and cold the next. Nurturing and protecting your projected image at all costs, even over your actual personal life.

Oh, I should mention that this book builds up to the end of Brooke's life, allegations of elder abuse and the money grab among her relatives. I mainly found it fascinating because it was a gentile peek into another world.

The author wrote even handedly and was not overly sensational, which I greatly appreciated. The plain facts of this real-life case spoke for themselves without embellishment. I would definitely read future books by the author.

[Caveat: Like most tales of the uber-rich, it does not contain great morals. People marry and divorce freely, usually starting their next romance while still married. Most main characters seemed to have married at least 3 different people! The past marriages and step-children sometimes required graphs to keep straight.

Disturbingly in one brief section, Mrs. Astor was reportedly quoted as supporting abortion, claiming they "called it a D&C" in her day and that she had had several. That off-handed line was the most upsetting one in the book for me.

With significant exceptions mentioned above, the book did not get into gritty details of misbehavior or glorify dysfunction like some society tales. The author did not intentionally try to create an atmosphere of moral deprivation for her story. The story glossed over a lot of muck allowing it to feel refined and somewhat innocent.]

[Graceann · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a classic example of money not being able to protect you from predators.

Brooke Astor lived a very long and storied life. She had funds, but that didn't help her escape the things that so many women face. Her first husband beat her, her second husband (whom she referred to as the love of her life) died suddenly, and she married her final husband, Vincent Astor, because, as she stated plainly, he could protect her financially.

After Vincent Astor's death, Brooke Astor blossomed. She worked with the Astor Foundation and philanthropy was a full-time and well-executed occupation for her. She had friends, she loved her staff, and though she could at times be mercurial and downright difficult, in general, she was loved.

Then comes her diagnosis of Alzheimer's, her difficult relationship with her son, Tony (from her first, abusive marriage) and his third wife, Charlene, and the easy touch she becomes due to her dementia. Seeing her growing closeness with her grandsons (who are his own sons), Tony and Charlene make inroads into Brooke's estate and personal life that, even in the best light can only be described as not looking quite right, and in the worst light they were worthy of jail time.

This stuff happens all the time to the elderly, and not just to the rich elderly. My own paternal grandmother was manipulated beyond belief when she was too out of it to be able to understand the situation. I know of countless other older people who have had the same thing happen to them.

It's disgusting, frankly, and the behavior exhibited here is something that makes me want to have a shower after only reading about it. Thankfully, there were other people who were trying to keep Mrs. Astor's best interests at heart, and her final months were mostly peaceful. It also appears that she was unaware of the legal wrangling going on around her, and for that, I'm grateful.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Just gossipy enough, but since the book was published before the trial ended, it ends abruptly.

[Kate. · Rating 2 out of 5]

Like a loaf of sourdough bread baked at 200 degrees for 3 minutes, this book took a lot of preparation but is still a half-baked mess. Did author Meryl Gordon accidentally publish her interview notes rather than her biography manuscript? She tiptoed through the war zone of upper East Side's society so carefully that the book could be called "Mrs. Astor Regrets: How to Write About Scandal Without Offending Anyone." I glimpsed the glamorous world of Mrs. Astor, but as through a scrim -- she is still a stranger to me. At times, Mrs. Astor seemed like a pathetic, grasping, insecure woman. At other times, she seemed like a sparkling, driven survivor. Perhaps she was both. Or perhaps a complicated life should only be examined after the subject has been dead for 20 years... when authors are free to project their theories and opinions without fear of retaliation from the Social Register set.

[Bethany Swafford · Rating 4 out of 5]

A rich socialite/philanthropist reaches the incredible age of one hundred and five. Her grandson, worried for how she's being cared for, sues his own father. When a family is torn apart, years worth of crimes are revealed.

This was a book that kept me in its grip for hours. I didn't know much about Brooke Astor when I began reading, and I had conflicting feelings throughout. Her treatment of her only son early on in his life certainly resulted in bitterness, but of course, does not excuse for what he did when he was her guardian when she became unable to make decisions.

A family was torn apart by decisions made throughout. I was left glad that I was not part of a wealthy family, where money is a replacement for love and affection.

All in all, it was a fascinating read. I would have liked it better if it had been in chronological order, starting from the beginning of Mrs. Astor's life.

For readers who enjoy biographies, this would be an excellent choice.

[Susan Baranoff · Rating 4 out of 5]

We've all heard of her.... Now we know how the story ended. An interesting and sad recounting of the last years of Brooke Astor. She married Vincent Astor for the money and because she wanted to make him happy for the first time in his life. She must have accomplished her mission as he died shortly thereafter leaving Brooke everything. Mrs. Astor was not to the manor born, but was the daughter of a General and had lived all over the world. She ascribed to the rules of high society and reigned over "her 400" for nearly 50 years after Astor's death. She used his enormous fortune to do good in the world and through her philanthropy we enjoy today many cultural, literary, and artistic benefits.

And then she got really old, and things went badly, and people got greedy, and her life became a horror of elder neglect and abuse. This book focuses on those last years of her life, the machinations of her son and daughter-in- law and the friends and family who came to her aid.

[Kathleen · Rating 3 out of 5]

The rich are different - this we know. They also seem to lead lives of banality, musty furniture, uninspired doggie names, and disregard for healthy emotional lives. This oddly adjective packed reportial style book kept my interest throughout as the case against a son by a grandson in the name of a grandmother came to verdict. How these richie rich rich richies can find friends in their claustrophobic world is beyond me. Trust does not seem to come easily among them. Money,itself, can be a curse rather than a cure. (I wouldn't mind a little of their lives now and then though hee haw)

[Whitney · Rating 1 out of 5]

Intriguing story, confusingly written, no ending

Thorough story of her life but hard to follow with random paragraphs inserted at awkward times. Most frustrating is that you don't get to read how the trial ended.

[Chrisolu · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars I would like to know what Miss Astors first will looked like.

[False · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read two biographies of Brooke Astor, back to back, and this is the preferable of the two in that the author is a better writer and she doesn't shy from the truth to remain in the good graces of the uber rich. Why so many of these people in New York society felt the need to suck up to this nobody is beyond my acumen. Pat Buckley in a drunken squawk, "Brooke Astor bought three of them," in reference to a low-cut evening gown by Bill Blass while at a "certain age." Who cares? Astor arriving at a party telling the guests how she was afraid she'd be mugged wearing her costly diamond and emerald necklace, exiting her limousine to the door arch of the building no less, but nothing more than a put them in their place boast to set her place in the hierarchy. In this book the final judgment, despite some kindnesses shown is of a selfish, vain, narcissistic personality, working out her own issues by abusing her one child, a son from her unhappy first marriage and both giving her displeasure in the memory. Dangling money and valuables to others as a future promise of their legacy and never following through. I've been around these people. You get sick of being around them--those who use money and position as a weapon. Another reason I could never stand Annette de la Renta. Reading two books about a woman I could never stomach. What a waste of my time. It did, however, reinforce my long-held beliefs about these creatures. Huzzah to the author for saying there wasn't a large attendance at the funeral because "people didn't need to suck up to her anymore," and bad marks toward Whoopi Goldberg for showing up ten minutes late. The irony is that is the grandson hadn't butted in and gone public with this private mess, his father wouldn't have gone to jail (for a short stint) and he would have inherited from his father. Yes, his father did some things wrong, but after a lifetime of abuse at the hands of his mother, and in the end, he did inherit a large hunk of money, and left it all to his wife that none of them would admit into the inner circle, as well as disinheriting his own children so they never got a penny of any of it. That old Tolstoy quote. Happy families are all alike. Unhappy families each in their own way.

[Chris · Rating 5 out of 5]

An absolute page turner to me and one I found hard to put down. I applaud Meryl Gordon for presenting the information to the reader which allows the reader to draw their own conclusions. So often in works like this, there's the tiniest hint of a slant one way or the other. There was none of that here. By the end, I couldn't really tell which side Ms. Gordon was on.

The fact that many of the key characters interviewed with her gives the information credence. As she's getting things directly from the involved parties. For me, that's the kind of authenticity I want when reading a story such as this.

The story of a son's poor choices (greed/mismanagement of funds) is a story as old as time. I keep reading stories of the monied and the greed of their families, friends, and often care givers. Each time I hope for a different outcome and each time I am disappointed. Sadly, greed isn't limited to those with significant amounts of money. I've experienced something similar to Mrs. Astor in my family more than once with multiple people. The question still on my mind is did Charlene really push him to make the bad choices or did he do it on his own? That is one of those questions which will never be answered. Did she truly have a change of heart and decide she wanted her son to have her millions versus charities? For me personally, I don't think she did. I think Tony finally found someone who made him happy (Charlene) and Charlene finally found someone who would be able to put her in a financial stratosphere she had only previously dreamed of.

The only regret I had about the book was that it was concluded before a verdict was reached. A quick Internet search and I found the outcome. (Tony was convicted of larceny and other charges in 2009.)

[Thea Marlowe · Rating 3 out of 5]

A sad read regarding the rich and famous. A reminder that money cannot buy happiness.
Brooke Astor passing @105 was a force to be reckoned with. Surviving three marriages/marital abuse, she did not suffer fools gladly. I loved her philanthropic spirit and quote by Thornton Wilder to explain her approach to philanthropy “Wealth is like manure- if you collect too much it stinks- you’ve got to spread it around.”
First divorced husband was an alcoholic/abusive. Second deceased husband was the love of her life, lovingly adopting Tony. Third husband Vincent Astor secured her future, most likely a marriage of convenience since he was known to be a difficult person.
She was an avid reader, valued education being forced to leave school and marry at seventeen, her mother thinking education would make her too educated, un-marriageable. Thus her huge charitable gifts to the library and museums. She was definitely was unloving, not maternal. Sad for son Tony considering his biological father was an alcoholic/abusive, not there for Tony as well. Had read about Astors previously, and enjoyed book but was a tad too detailed/wordy.

[Mary Ellen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was actually a fascinating read...but what a bunch of narcissistic, selfish twits. And that includes the author. Yes, the trial is long over and done and we know Tony Marshall was convicted. I never ever condone elder abuse, or abuse of anyone. However, do you think perhaps there is karma? Meryl Gordon continually plays up Brooke Astor's eccentric and charming personality. As well as compliments to almost all other characters. Wonder if that was done to assure access to the big names. Brooke Astor and her entourage were into adultery, hypocrisy, excess, retribution and control. These were not nice people unless they wanted something. And often that something was celebrity and adulation. Imagine closing up a foundation, not allowing it to go forth and continue good works just to piss off your son. The hedonism is profound. Actually a very sad commentary on that society.