TL;DR -- Well-intentioned, inclusive book for self-identifying young women to help them process trauma and recognize their "Super-Women" status that misses the mark.
As someone who has worked through their trauma and has previously served as a counselor, social worker and "dating expert', I had high hopes for this book as one I could wholeheartedly recommend to my readers and clients.
Sadly, I couldn't get past the first page (poem) without feeling off. It didn't get any better for me a few pages in, and I chose not to finish it after a few chapters.
It's not that the book triggered me - although it might feel triggering for some. I'd recommend some warnings on the first page, not a dozen or so pages in as it is now.
I'll start with the poem, written as if to speak for women and their experiences about being a woman. I found it unnecessarily dramatic, similar to the poetry I wrote in my early teens (when my experiences of trauma and abuse began).
As an example, here's a piece that felt particularly unsettling for me:
"It means being told that sex is an obligation / To be had without any destestation".
Now, I don't know about anyone else reading this review, so speaking only for myself - this is not what being a woman means to me, nor is it my experience.
After several dozen sentences that similarly irked me, I didn't feel great jumping into the meat of the book.
The introduction felt equally dramatic, written in a narrative nonfiction style that normally I love, but in this case felt forced and, again, unnecessarily dramatic. Again, I quote:
"Through hauntingly quiet tears, I had just resolutely told _____ that the pain was too much".
Perhaps it's the editing style, I'm unsure, but it felt forced and inauthentic, like the author was trying to invoke the emotions through powerful language when the topic itself is powerful enough. Or, maybe I'm being nitpicky.... but I don't think so.
After having read and reviewed thousands (and I do mean thousands) of books about and around this topic for the last two decades, this is one I cannot recommend even though I recognize the intentions were honorable (and let's face it, needed).
Now, I will admit once the author took over (in Chapter One) the tone and feel of the book changed. Simpler language and a direct, compassionate understanding filled the pages instead. Still, I had the sour taste in my mouth from the opening poem and introduction, and it didn't wash out of my mind easily. I also felt the book needed a powerful editor to better massage the content into a jewel.
Finally, I have a personal and professional issue with books that purport to replace or otherwise circumvent the need for therapy. Many of the topics shared in this book are challenging, triggering, and downright terrible. That part's okay, and I understand the need for a stepping stone, or as the author calls it, a "sanctuary".
Still, there is no mention of getting therapy or speaking with a trained professional, other than in the author's contextual and other people's experiences. There's no "Hey, if this gets to be too much, please seek a professional that can support and guide you through this process, and here are some ways to do that no matter your age, location or circumstance".