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The Truth about Us: The Very Good News about How Very Bad We Are
What would happen if you admitted you weren't a good person?
It's a seemingly crazy question. From priests to prisoners, nearly everyone thinks they're morally better than average. Why change our minds? Why admit the truth about ourselves?
In his conversational, fun-to-read, and delightfully self-effacing style, Brant Hansen shows us why we should fight our drive to be self-righteous: it's breathtakingly freeing. What's more, just admitting that we're profoundly biased toward ourselves and want desperately to preserve our "rightness" at all costs even helps us think better, make better decisions, be better listeners, and improve our relationships with God and others.
Hansen draws from biblical insight and the work of everyone from esteemed social psychologists to comedians to make his point: the sooner we get over ourselves, give up the "I'm good" internal dialogue, and admit the truth, the sooner we can live a more lighthearted, fruitful, fun-loving life.
This book is about the freedom of childlike humility.
After all, as Hansen writes, the humble life is truly your best one.
It's a seemingly crazy question. From priests to prisoners, nearly everyone thinks they're morally better than average. Why change our minds? Why admit the truth about ourselves?
In his conversational, fun-to-read, and delightfully self-effacing style, Brant Hansen shows us why we should fight our drive to be self-righteous: it's breathtakingly freeing. What's more, just admitting that we're profoundly biased toward ourselves and want desperately to preserve our "rightness" at all costs even helps us think better, make better decisions, be better listeners, and improve our relationships with God and others.
Hansen draws from biblical insight and the work of everyone from esteemed social psychologists to comedians to make his point: the sooner we get over ourselves, give up the "I'm good" internal dialogue, and admit the truth, the sooner we can live a more lighthearted, fruitful, fun-loving life.
This book is about the freedom of childlike humility.
After all, as Hansen writes, the humble life is truly your best one.
224 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 21, 2020
267 people are currently reading
2233 people want to read
About the author
Brant Hansen
13 books555 followersBrant Hansen is a radio host who has won multiple National Personality of the Year awards. He also works with CURE International, a worldwide network of hospitals that brings life-changing medical care and the good news of God’s love to children with treatable conditions. Brant currently lives in Northern California with his wife, Carolyn; his son, Justice; and his daughter, Julia. He can be found at branthansen.com and @branthansen on Twitter.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 236 reviews
April 16, 2020
:: I paid full price for my copy of 'The Truth About Us'. This is not a purchased review or review for trade. ::
Full Disclosure: Even after all the personally affronting, bracing-like-cold-water truths he felt compelled to share in 'The Truth About Us', Brant Hansen is going to have to try much, much harder to get me to "unsubscribe" from his personal brand.
However, I cannot keep this man's books on my shelves - here's why:
As a long time listener and reviewer of previous books, I can't look away from the puppet-driven Hansen train as it plows happily through our comfort zones and leaves us asking pitifully for more accordion.
In 'Unoffendable', Brant checks the mic: "Testing, testing, 3...2...1 - you have no right to be angry but you're not the only one"
In 'Blessed are the Misfits', Hansen raises the house lights: "Look around, all quirky, jaded and flawed souls, we do not misfit alone."
And now, in 'The Truth About Us' Brant Hansen looks our vulnerable misfit crowd in the eyes and delivers hard truths as he best knows how, factually and to the point: "You guys aren't actually all that good" he says "but... turns out, neither am I."
2nd Full Disclosure: The truths in Brant's new book aren't new truths, but they are often unpopular, untouched truths, the kind with a tendency to scald once spilled. Along comes Hansen, puppets for pot-holders, willing to handle and spill for all.
This brings me to the one running problem I have had with Hansen's books reaching all the way back to 'Unoffendable' and the reason I don't keep his books on my shelves to this day: I cannot keep his books on my shelves.
Oh, sure - they visit, maybe spend spend the night or a few, but I can never keep them shelf-stable for long. Before I've reached the end, I always have someone- usually several people- in line to share them with. No matter how many copies I've purchased, they always find their way into another's hands.
I recommend a digital copy of your own and a lending copy for friends.
As Brant has pointed out, we are prone to forgetfulness. Keeping a copy of Brant's words around is like having a letter of encouragement in your pocket from a sincere, on-demand friend.
'The Truth About Us' contains bad news, but Bran't won't leave you to squirm alone... and he won't leave you without some very good news, too.
Full Disclosure: Even after all the personally affronting, bracing-like-cold-water truths he felt compelled to share in 'The Truth About Us', Brant Hansen is going to have to try much, much harder to get me to "unsubscribe" from his personal brand.
However, I cannot keep this man's books on my shelves - here's why:
As a long time listener and reviewer of previous books, I can't look away from the puppet-driven Hansen train as it plows happily through our comfort zones and leaves us asking pitifully for more accordion.
In 'Unoffendable', Brant checks the mic: "Testing, testing, 3...2...1 - you have no right to be angry but you're not the only one"
In 'Blessed are the Misfits', Hansen raises the house lights: "Look around, all quirky, jaded and flawed souls, we do not misfit alone."
And now, in 'The Truth About Us' Brant Hansen looks our vulnerable misfit crowd in the eyes and delivers hard truths as he best knows how, factually and to the point: "You guys aren't actually all that good" he says "but... turns out, neither am I."
2nd Full Disclosure: The truths in Brant's new book aren't new truths, but they are often unpopular, untouched truths, the kind with a tendency to scald once spilled. Along comes Hansen, puppets for pot-holders, willing to handle and spill for all.
This brings me to the one running problem I have had with Hansen's books reaching all the way back to 'Unoffendable' and the reason I don't keep his books on my shelves to this day: I cannot keep his books on my shelves.
Oh, sure - they visit, maybe spend spend the night or a few, but I can never keep them shelf-stable for long. Before I've reached the end, I always have someone- usually several people- in line to share them with. No matter how many copies I've purchased, they always find their way into another's hands.
I recommend a digital copy of your own and a lending copy for friends.
As Brant has pointed out, we are prone to forgetfulness. Keeping a copy of Brant's words around is like having a letter of encouragement in your pocket from a sincere, on-demand friend.
'The Truth About Us' contains bad news, but Bran't won't leave you to squirm alone... and he won't leave you without some very good news, too.
August 29, 2022
I’m a Brant Hanson fan. I enjoy his easy style that still contains significant and helpful truth. This one is no different.
I’m always careful to recommend books because we’ve all read books we didn’t enjoy as recommended by people we do enjoy.
This one is a great mirror for us all to understand self better.
I’m always careful to recommend books because we’ve all read books we didn’t enjoy as recommended by people we do enjoy.
This one is a great mirror for us all to understand self better.
July 21, 2021
My husband has often repeated that if someone says “I’m a good person”, then they are usually not.
This book kind of follows that premise. But it widens it to “none of us are good people”. And that is a very countercultural statement. We all try to prove so hard that we are good, our beliefs are the correct ones and that really, if you compare us to others (those drug dealers or Hitler), then we can really be proud of ourselves.
In his book, Hansen humorously shows us how far off the tracks we are…. We are not good people. None of us are.
But really, in the end, that is a good thing. We need to get over ourselves and stop trying to justify the things we do. We are “not the standard” by which good and bad are judged. And none of us can measure up to that standard, which is Jesus.
But that’s great! There is freedom in that! Because the one who set that standard loves us in our brokenness. We don’t have to prove anything. We are made good by His goodness, not ours. So we can relax. It’s His goodness that matters. And when I cover myself in His righteousness instead of my own…I can live without trying to prove to others and myself that “I’m a good person”. It’s a new level of peace and freedom. And it is for all of us bad people!
This book kind of follows that premise. But it widens it to “none of us are good people”. And that is a very countercultural statement. We all try to prove so hard that we are good, our beliefs are the correct ones and that really, if you compare us to others (those drug dealers or Hitler), then we can really be proud of ourselves.
In his book, Hansen humorously shows us how far off the tracks we are…. We are not good people. None of us are.
But really, in the end, that is a good thing. We need to get over ourselves and stop trying to justify the things we do. We are “not the standard” by which good and bad are judged. And none of us can measure up to that standard, which is Jesus.
But that’s great! There is freedom in that! Because the one who set that standard loves us in our brokenness. We don’t have to prove anything. We are made good by His goodness, not ours. So we can relax. It’s His goodness that matters. And when I cover myself in His righteousness instead of my own…I can live without trying to prove to others and myself that “I’m a good person”. It’s a new level of peace and freedom. And it is for all of us bad people!
May 8, 2020
His humour and honesty hooked me right away. This had as refreshingly freeing a message as did Unoffendable. Both are books I would like to try to read every year.
Highlight quotes that got me right between the eyes, or right in the heart:
-Mercy is a wonderful time and energy saver.
- God has shown us our value through Jesus and promised us a glorious, secure future with Him... if I trust Him in these things, I will be less, not more,self-righteous. I won’t be threatened so easily. My goodness isn’t at issue.
- desperation, when it goes to Jesus, leads to peace. If our supposed goodness keeps us from desperation, we’ll never get there.
- There’s something about self-righteousness that kills the fun every time. It makes want to teach people instead of just enjoying a moment.
Highlight quotes that got me right between the eyes, or right in the heart:
-Mercy is a wonderful time and energy saver.
- God has shown us our value through Jesus and promised us a glorious, secure future with Him... if I trust Him in these things, I will be less, not more,self-righteous. I won’t be threatened so easily. My goodness isn’t at issue.
- desperation, when it goes to Jesus, leads to peace. If our supposed goodness keeps us from desperation, we’ll never get there.
- There’s something about self-righteousness that kills the fun every time. It makes want to teach people instead of just enjoying a moment.
August 8, 2020
4⭐️
While not as good as his previous 2 books (which are both 5 ⭐️), this one does still have a lot of wisdom and underline-able quotes on living life with more humility in the realization of our weakness in light of God’s righteousness.
While not as good as his previous 2 books (which are both 5 ⭐️), this one does still have a lot of wisdom and underline-able quotes on living life with more humility in the realization of our weakness in light of God’s righteousness.
May 19, 2023
The casual, conversational style of this book makes you think it's going to be an easy read, and it is, but with the occasional gut-punch that can't help but shift your perception of things.
February 17, 2021
Thoroughly enjoyable book that offers advice for living your best life by simply realizing that we're all tragically flawed, and accepting our imperfection allows us to better identify with and accept the same in others, and just accept others in general. In a society in which we all (myself included) are looking to excuse our own behaviors, while actively confronting others about theirs, this book is an incredibly timely one IMO. To paraphrase an excerpt from the book, one that I hope will stick with me from this day forward, "We evaluate our personal behavior based on our intentions, yet we base others' behavior on their actions". This book has inspired me to be less self-righteous and more understanding and forgiving - I am so very glad I had the opportunity to read it.
October 21, 2024
Fun Read!
If we are honest, we are all a little self-centered. That's why social media is so popular. By the way, nobody really cares that you had pop-tarts for breakfast. Anyway, in "The Truth About Us," Brant Hansen tackles the subject of self-centeredness in a fun, but serious way. He has a unique conversational style that is no doubt born out of his years of working in Christian radio. There are times you feel like he is speaking to you as you read. One would think that a book about self-centeredness would make you feel guilty, and Hansen sometimes brings out Scripture that steps on your toes. However, Hansen points out that his book is not about guilt. Instead, it is about "living in the reality that we a loved by Someone (Jesus Christ) who already knows the truth about us."
If we are honest, we are all a little self-centered. That's why social media is so popular. By the way, nobody really cares that you had pop-tarts for breakfast. Anyway, in "The Truth About Us," Brant Hansen tackles the subject of self-centeredness in a fun, but serious way. He has a unique conversational style that is no doubt born out of his years of working in Christian radio. There are times you feel like he is speaking to you as you read. One would think that a book about self-centeredness would make you feel guilty, and Hansen sometimes brings out Scripture that steps on your toes. However, Hansen points out that his book is not about guilt. Instead, it is about "living in the reality that we a loved by Someone (Jesus Christ) who already knows the truth about us."
October 15, 2025
I definitely teared up on the last line. Oh man this is what we need. This has been my focus for the past 6 months or so and this book reminded me I have so far to go.
March 30, 2020
The Truth about Us is by Brant Hansen, a Christian radio personality and self-proclaimed misfit. This book is an ‘odd but (very) true’ book sprinkled with humor (which might include his love of accordions, puppets and toast). He takes an honest look at God’s grace and our guilt, motives and need for humility. In fact the subtitle for this book is “The very good news about how very bad we are”. And he does not pull any punches, he means all of us. And to give an example, a couple of the chapter titles are: Your very own PR firm and why you should fire them and Follow your heart: the worst advice ever.
If you listen to Brant on the radio, you can hear him speak the words as you read this book. It is convicting and inspiring and I think everyone should read it. In fact I will try to make at least some of that happen! I recommend it highly!
I received a complimentary copy of this book from Net Galley. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
If you listen to Brant on the radio, you can hear him speak the words as you read this book. It is convicting and inspiring and I think everyone should read it. In fact I will try to make at least some of that happen! I recommend it highly!
I received a complimentary copy of this book from Net Galley. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
December 5, 2023
“Lord, have mercy on me a sinner.”
The overall theme of this one is… Humility. We really aren’t all as good as we think we are. Praise God we don’t have to be!
This one hits home for me personally. Being an enneagram 9, working in a church, & of course being a yellow-bellied-people pleaser, can be exhausting. We’re always trying to earn something that wasn’t meant to be earned. It was meant to be accepted from our Father.
When we put all our egos aside & accept Gods grace & His righteousness instead of our own, we’ll start to look at the world a little different. Mind you, it’s a daily battle sometimes, but we can begin to shed our judgmental behaviors, our egos, our self righteousness, & truly love God, others, and ourselves more.
The overall theme of this one is… Humility. We really aren’t all as good as we think we are. Praise God we don’t have to be!
This one hits home for me personally. Being an enneagram 9, working in a church, & of course being a yellow-bellied-people pleaser, can be exhausting. We’re always trying to earn something that wasn’t meant to be earned. It was meant to be accepted from our Father.
When we put all our egos aside & accept Gods grace & His righteousness instead of our own, we’ll start to look at the world a little different. Mind you, it’s a daily battle sometimes, but we can begin to shed our judgmental behaviors, our egos, our self righteousness, & truly love God, others, and ourselves more.
July 19, 2022
This was a great read. I have been a Brant Hansen fan for a long time. He is funny and engaging, and profound all at the same time. This book's goal is help you rid yourself of self righteousness and be who you are truly meant to be in Christ. Very free! Not to say that after reading this book I'm totally not self righteous anymore, that I am now as humble as pie. But, it gave me a lot to think about, to pray about and ways to work on that part of me that I don't even like. My self righteousness. Especially the stuff in my head. I plan to read it again in a few months.
December 23, 2022
Hansen has a gift for converting scriptural principles into everyday context. His audio skills are exceptional so I highly recommend listening to him as opposed to reading him.
This particular book continues on the theme of Unoffendable (a previous Hansen best-seller) on treating pride and ego. It's marvelous.
Coming to see how flawed (maybe even awful) we are helps soften our hearts to our fellow man and to better appreciate God's mercy for us. And that makes us live a more surrendered life, producing far more joy. Hansen gets this across with truth and wit.
This particular book continues on the theme of Unoffendable (a previous Hansen best-seller) on treating pride and ego. It's marvelous.
Coming to see how flawed (maybe even awful) we are helps soften our hearts to our fellow man and to better appreciate God's mercy for us. And that makes us live a more surrendered life, producing far more joy. Hansen gets this across with truth and wit.
July 22, 2025
I'm at Zuma, Malibu beach sitting in the sand when I just finished listening to this audiobook. Every book Brant Hansen writes is sheer comic genius. You can tell he gets better and better. I love his humility tied in with quirky humor. Definitely, the funniest Christian author out there that I have read. Gosh, this beach is child and windy... and it's the middle of July! My dream is to one day get a house on the beach in California. If that doesn't happen.. then my next dream is to have read all of Brant Hansen's books 📚
November 4, 2023
About 4hr listen on Audible; enjoyable and engaging (as read by the author), and made me laugh a few times. Basically a book about how humans are just really selfish and evil, but the good news of the Gospel; God loves us despite that. And we should use that recognition to grow in humility and consideration for others, unity, and knowing that we never will be “enough” on our own - and that’s a good thing.
It is rather laughable how humans are just so good at self deception. Yow.
It is rather laughable how humans are just so good at self deception. Yow.
October 17, 2025
I've become a fan of Brant Hansen's writings. His humor and easy-going style make his books very engaging, but that doesn't mean that he writes fluff. His points are well-made and have deep impact.
Here, Hansen drives home the point that as much as we like to think of ourselves as good, we are not at all as good as we think we are. We are desperately wicked and are in desperate need of someone to fix us. Fortunately, we have that solution in Jesus Christ.
Here, Hansen drives home the point that as much as we like to think of ourselves as good, we are not at all as good as we think we are. We are desperately wicked and are in desperate need of someone to fix us. Fortunately, we have that solution in Jesus Christ.
March 4, 2021
Fantastic book that tells it like it is: No One Is A Good Person! Hansen even includes Bible verses to support this statement. He also states, "The battle against our own self-righteousness is our biggest battle of all." Once we realize this, people can live a freer, better and happier life. I enjoyed this book immensely and will definitely read it again.
November 17, 2020
HIGHLY recommend this book for anyone who want to consider their self-righteousness...and laugh at every chapter! He uses humor to make the point that there is VERY GOOD NEWS ABOUT HOW VERY BAD WE ARE! Helps us see the heavy burden of self-righteousness and how Jesus wants us to live dependently and joyfully, free of that burden.
May 30, 2020
Very thought provoking! Review to come
June 27, 2020
The Truth About Us is a great book. It makes you think and I enjoyed his writing style.
January 17, 2022
Humbling, comforting, and deeply sincere. Hansen's discussion of worth, goodness, and the lens through which we view existence is firmly grounded but packed with valuable insight.
March 7, 2022
Mr Hansen has become one of my favorite authors. His easy to understand way of conveying information will leave you nodding and having repeated brain explosions. He is able to take concepts that we, as Christians, can easily gloss over and instead make them come to life - and help us apply to our daily lives.
We aren’t good people. And we deceive ourselves when we think we are - but in spite of our “badness,” Christ still loves us and calls us to Him.
God knew the truth about us — and He still loves us. Highly recommend this read. I’m making my husband read it now too and he’s not sad about it. 😉
We aren’t good people. And we deceive ourselves when we think we are - but in spite of our “badness,” Christ still loves us and calls us to Him.
God knew the truth about us — and He still loves us. Highly recommend this read. I’m making my husband read it now too and he’s not sad about it. 😉
November 26, 2023
Really good especially after reading Unoffendable. How often do we get this stuff wrong (Christianity) because of our self-righteousness?!? Lord, please help me and others represent Jesus better and let go of our self-righteousness!
December 14, 2024
Incredible, I may be Brant Hansens biggest fan
April 21, 2020
Once again Brant Hansen delivers a humorous, yet sobering reality of our condition. Such a refreshing and freeing look at the reality of who we are, yet an amazing and hopeful promise for change. Could not recommend this book more highly.
May 25, 2025
Wonderful book that tells the hard but necessary truth.
June 24, 2025
Brant doesn’t miss on this one! Another easy read with his typical humor and satire! He breaks down our real motives behind things we do and helps realize how we are all sinners and Jesus knows all of our thoughts but still chooses to love us regardless of who we actually are.
October 2, 2022
Another great book from Brant Hansen - love his writing. So down to earth but packed with truth. Love all the references to psychology too…
June 7, 2020
Spectacular! Every human being on the planet should read this book!!
Quotes:
Researchers at the University of London concluded that “a substantial majority of individuals believe themselves to be morally superior to the average person” and that this illusion of ours is “uniquely strong and prevalent.”
In fact, the impression I get from Jesus is that the battle against our own self-righteousness is our biggest battle of all.
Jesus warns us against our self-righteousness in the most dire terms. (He uses the word hell a lot more often than most of us are comfortable with.) He’s quite aware that while we humans have seemingly insatiable, unstoppable lusts for everything—fame, money, sex, power, tickets to Hamilton, pumpkin-spice products—it’s actually our pride that will doom us. In this book, I’ll show you how we will often stop at nothing to avoid cognitive dissonance. We will twist logic, bend reason, conveniently forget facts, invent new stories, even destroy relationships—all in the name of preserving our precious illusion. We’ll sacrifice anything. It really is that important to us. This is how addictions work, and when it comes to our own need to be “right,” well, we’re all addicts who need to be set free.
“Your body does not discriminate against pleasure,” writes clinical psychologist Renee Carr. “It can become addicted to any activity or substance that consistently produces dopamine.” [self-righteous tweets for example]
...I’m as self-righteous by nature as you are. Like Steve Brown writes, “It is difficult (maybe impossible) to write about self-righteousness without being self-righteous.”
(My new Brant Hansen Show motto idea: “Frustrating but Oddly Interesting.”)
Researchers say when we’re less confident in our opinions, we’re more likely to seek out only the information that affirms us.
Kahneman says that we have to struggle to remind ourselves that we are perhaps in the grip of an illusion. We simply aren’t as right, or as righteous, as we think we are.
once I hear myself giving my reasons, I find me terribly convincing.
For much of my life I’ve had a scoreboard mentality, like there’s a cosmic point system, and it shows how I’m doing and whether God should be mad at me or reward me.
When it comes to humanity, there’s plenty to judge, for sure, but do you really want that job?
...because there’s a fun cognitive bias called the IKEA effect. It holds that we value something more if we had a hand in building it. We might even overvalue it.
if someone exercises more than I do, well, I suspect they’re spending too much time focusing on their bodies. Kinda shallow, you know? And if they exercise less, I think they’re ignoring an important part of life.
...if I assume the posture of a servant and humble myself, I will see reality more clearly. I will invest others with value when I pour myself into them. That’s literally what it means to bless—to add value to someone. I will regard them as more and more valuable as I actively serve them. My obedience changes my heart.
“The talent for self-justification is surely the finest flower of human evolution, the greatest achievement of the human brain,” writes Michael Foley in his bestselling book The Age of Absurdity. “When it comes to justifying actions, every human being acquires the intelligence of an Einstein, the imagination of a Shakespeare, and the subtlety of a Jesuit.”
Jonathan Haidt, in his book The Righteous Mind, likens the way we actually work to an elephant and a rider. We like to think the elephant is our reasoning, and the rider—our emotional or intuitive side—is just along for the ride. But everything in Haidt’s career as a social psychologist shows the exact opposite.
Guy Swanson writes about why a person would do this in his book Ego Defenses and the Legitimization of Behavior: “He must deal with the impulse in such a way that he reinstates himself in his own eyes. Without that reinstatement, he is divided against himself and he therefore has difficulty in functioning.” It’s all about using our own brains to fool ourselves.
When I see “Follow your heart” on social media, it usually appears over a beautiful photo of a beach sunset. If the meme makers wanted to be more accurate, they wouldn’t show a beach. They’d give us the Cracks of Doom. This is because “Follow your heart!” or “Trust yourself!” may be the worst advice in the history of advice.
(New slogan: “Humans: Pulling the Wool over Our Own Eyes for More than 2,500 Years.”)
“Ah yes,” you say, “there are evil people in the world, but Brant, you’re using extreme examples. I am not Ivan the Terrible. I’ve never, not even once, taken over Russia and tortured thousands.” And while this is probably true (I don’t know what you do in your personal life), I want to demonstrate the elasticity of the human mind’s excuse-making machine.
We don’t have to have a simplistic “We’re all good by nature!” naivete or a “We’re worthless!” negativism.
In the words of philosopher Hannah Arendt, “The most horrifying things about the Nazis was not that they were so deviant but that they were terrifyingly normal.”
I’m merely showing how wonderful the God of the Bible is. He’s the one who doesn’t let us play these hairsplitting games. He’s the one leveling the moral playing field, saying we don’t think like he does and can’t know the things he knows. He’s the one telling us to refrain from condemning others, because we don’t know what motivates them or us.
While a blessing adds value to someone, a curse subtracts it. And boy, do we feel it when we’re cursed. It can be the slightest thing. An eye roll. Dismissive body language. An ignored email. Even a slight pause can be a curse, Willard said. A husband can curse his wife with the merest hesitation before saying, “I love you too.” Not only are curses not confined to a list of cuss words, but you can actually curse people by saying completely benign-sounding grandma phrases. We all know “Bless her heart” often means “She’s an idiot.”
I’ve noticed that when I’m not worried about my own virtuousness, I can finally focus on blessing other people, even those who curse me. It’s actually more fun than it sounds. We can approach each person with a fundamental question in mind: How can I add value to this person’s life?
to my knowledge, humans are alone among creatures who possess the ability to take a story about buying a treat for a kid and turn it into a bad deed. Even dolphins can’t do this, and they can do everything.
Helen Andrews, a managing editor for the Washington Examiner, writes about this in an essay called “Shame Storm”: The more online shame cycles you observe, the more obvious the pattern becomes: Everyone comes up with a principled-sounding pretext that serves as a barrier against admitting to themselves that, in fact, all they have really done is join a mob.
...the world is already on a guilt trip, even if it’s unacknowledged. Everyone is aboard the Guilt Train, and Jesus is the only way off.
John Lennon concluded in an angry letter to McCartney that, in the final analysis, the Beatles were “just as big [jerks] as anyone else.” Nailed it. You wrote great songs, but doggone it, you’re just like the rest of us, guys. Something’s deeply wrong with the self-righteous lot of us.
Disintegration isn’t remarkable. Entropy isn’t remarkable. Disunity isn’t remarkable. Unity is.
Be radically charitable to your Christian brothers and sisters. Be downright deferential. Consider them better than you. Demonstrate humility and love in every interaction. Do not insult their intelligence. Do not mock them. Do not presume them to be beneath your sophistication. Assume the best of their intentions. Do not belittle them. If you want to engage their ideas and disagree, do so.
I’m a bunch of noise. As brutal as social media is, that’s where people are. Instead of using it to tear each other to shreds for the benefit of our political allies, maybe we could use it as a place to demonstrate what a city on a hill looks like. Disagree with a brother or sister? It will happen. But these people are our family above all.
After all, if someone else calls Jesus “Lord” in this increasingly post-Christian culture, it means something. Fifty years ago, it may not have meant so much to say such a thing. But things have changed, and now acknowledging that there is a King who transcends us, and it’s Jesus of Nazareth—that’s a big deal. If we agree on that, we may not vote together, but we can sing together and pray together and talk together. We have a bond that’s deeper than public policy, deeper than our misunderstandings, deeper than our wounds.
Things fall apart. But we don’t have to.
The Dalai Lama said the fix-all is meditation. “If every 8 year old in the world is taught meditation, we will eliminate violence from the world in one generation,” he said, in a statement that ignores Buddhists’ key roles in bloody conflicts and hatred.
Self-righteousness impedes our ability to listen. It thwarts our efforts to be in lasting relationships. But humility is the very opposite of this. It relies on others. It allows us to be corrected, to be set straight. It opens us to wisdom.
MRI scans have shown that when we’re hit with dissonant information—things we’d rather not know, things that disagree with our internal stories—the reasoning part of our brain starts to shut down and the emotional part starts lighting up.
Apologies are plentiful, but real repentance is rare and precious. That’s because repentance is total. It’s not a graduated thing. Jesus presents it to us as a binary: Either we go this way or that. Either we go our own way, on a path that seems right but leads to death, or the narrow way that leads to life.
We even have a Magic Kingdom near where I live, and it’s truly magical. Anything can happen. A mouse can talk! A boy can fly! An order of chicken fingers can be $25! The possibilities are limitless. It’s magical. (By the way, a commenter on Reddit noted that Disney World is actually a human trap built by a mouse.
There’s an unforgettable Twilight Zone episode that’s about this, strangely enough. A guy goes to the afterlife and loves it. He’s where he gets everything he wants. He gets the best cigars, all the women fawn over him, and he wins every pool or poker game he plays. He’s in heaven, surely. He’s always winning, winning, winning. It’s always about him. It’s everything he’s ever wanted. Until it’s not. The days begin to drag, one after another. He becomes aware of the pointlessness of his existence. He’s stuck inside what he thought would be his own fantasy, and it’s grinding misery. The twist at the end? He’s not where he originally thought he was at all.
Earlier, I mentioned the trial of Adolf Eichmann, architect of the Nazis’ “Final Solution” of annihilating the Jews. Eichmann tried to rationalize his role—he claimed he didn’t personally kill anyone with his own hands. He did acknowledge that he had aided in mass murder. Did he have any regrets? Was he sorry? Oh, no. Ironically, for a man who defended himself by claiming he was only following orders, he wanted to make sure we knew he was still in charge. “Repentance is for little children,” he said.
Oddly, perhaps, Eichmann is right: Repentance really is for little children. It’s for anyone, really, who knows they’re vulnerable. It’s for people who know they can no longer defend themselves.
“If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being.”
...growth does not come from gaining more and more knowledge. Growth comes from allowing your ego’s story to drop away.
“But Jesus got angry! He cleared out the temple!” Well, yes, he did. But he is sinless, and we’re not. Like my friend Sherri says (she says a lot of great stuff), “No, sweetheart, you don’t get a whip. You’re the money changer.”
Humility is realizing that we are not the authority, then submitting to the real authority.
Modern Satanists agree with me here. “Satanism is not Devil-worship. No matter how often we restate this, misunderstandings persist,” the Church of Satan website says. “After all, the mythological Satan doesn’t worship any gods above Himself. Neither do we. Every Satanist is his or her own god. You can’t get more Satanic than that!”
It’s been 2,000-plus years, and if aliens landed on earth, I doubt they’d look at our history and say, “You know what you guys are really good at? Loving your enemies. Now, let us help you with your overpriced coffee issue.” It’s tragic, because loving our enemies.
What message would a wise being bring from another place? After millennia of violence, division, and even carnage, we need outside help! We await this enlightenment! In the story of Jesus, we have an advanced life form. He is wisdom and love in the form of a man who delivers himself to us. And his message, put very roughly, is (drumroll, please) . . . “I love you. And seriously, you are sick. Get over yourselves. You are sheep. You need me.” Sheep? Us? And so the search continues. Anybody else out there?
“The freedom all to be lords of our tiny skull-sized kingdoms, alone at the center of creation.”
Quotes:
Researchers at the University of London concluded that “a substantial majority of individuals believe themselves to be morally superior to the average person” and that this illusion of ours is “uniquely strong and prevalent.”
In fact, the impression I get from Jesus is that the battle against our own self-righteousness is our biggest battle of all.
Jesus warns us against our self-righteousness in the most dire terms. (He uses the word hell a lot more often than most of us are comfortable with.) He’s quite aware that while we humans have seemingly insatiable, unstoppable lusts for everything—fame, money, sex, power, tickets to Hamilton, pumpkin-spice products—it’s actually our pride that will doom us. In this book, I’ll show you how we will often stop at nothing to avoid cognitive dissonance. We will twist logic, bend reason, conveniently forget facts, invent new stories, even destroy relationships—all in the name of preserving our precious illusion. We’ll sacrifice anything. It really is that important to us. This is how addictions work, and when it comes to our own need to be “right,” well, we’re all addicts who need to be set free.
“Your body does not discriminate against pleasure,” writes clinical psychologist Renee Carr. “It can become addicted to any activity or substance that consistently produces dopamine.” [self-righteous tweets for example]
...I’m as self-righteous by nature as you are. Like Steve Brown writes, “It is difficult (maybe impossible) to write about self-righteousness without being self-righteous.”
(My new Brant Hansen Show motto idea: “Frustrating but Oddly Interesting.”)
Researchers say when we’re less confident in our opinions, we’re more likely to seek out only the information that affirms us.
Kahneman says that we have to struggle to remind ourselves that we are perhaps in the grip of an illusion. We simply aren’t as right, or as righteous, as we think we are.
once I hear myself giving my reasons, I find me terribly convincing.
For much of my life I’ve had a scoreboard mentality, like there’s a cosmic point system, and it shows how I’m doing and whether God should be mad at me or reward me.
When it comes to humanity, there’s plenty to judge, for sure, but do you really want that job?
...because there’s a fun cognitive bias called the IKEA effect. It holds that we value something more if we had a hand in building it. We might even overvalue it.
if someone exercises more than I do, well, I suspect they’re spending too much time focusing on their bodies. Kinda shallow, you know? And if they exercise less, I think they’re ignoring an important part of life.
...if I assume the posture of a servant and humble myself, I will see reality more clearly. I will invest others with value when I pour myself into them. That’s literally what it means to bless—to add value to someone. I will regard them as more and more valuable as I actively serve them. My obedience changes my heart.
“The talent for self-justification is surely the finest flower of human evolution, the greatest achievement of the human brain,” writes Michael Foley in his bestselling book The Age of Absurdity. “When it comes to justifying actions, every human being acquires the intelligence of an Einstein, the imagination of a Shakespeare, and the subtlety of a Jesuit.”
Jonathan Haidt, in his book The Righteous Mind, likens the way we actually work to an elephant and a rider. We like to think the elephant is our reasoning, and the rider—our emotional or intuitive side—is just along for the ride. But everything in Haidt’s career as a social psychologist shows the exact opposite.
Guy Swanson writes about why a person would do this in his book Ego Defenses and the Legitimization of Behavior: “He must deal with the impulse in such a way that he reinstates himself in his own eyes. Without that reinstatement, he is divided against himself and he therefore has difficulty in functioning.” It’s all about using our own brains to fool ourselves.
When I see “Follow your heart” on social media, it usually appears over a beautiful photo of a beach sunset. If the meme makers wanted to be more accurate, they wouldn’t show a beach. They’d give us the Cracks of Doom. This is because “Follow your heart!” or “Trust yourself!” may be the worst advice in the history of advice.
(New slogan: “Humans: Pulling the Wool over Our Own Eyes for More than 2,500 Years.”)
“Ah yes,” you say, “there are evil people in the world, but Brant, you’re using extreme examples. I am not Ivan the Terrible. I’ve never, not even once, taken over Russia and tortured thousands.” And while this is probably true (I don’t know what you do in your personal life), I want to demonstrate the elasticity of the human mind’s excuse-making machine.
We don’t have to have a simplistic “We’re all good by nature!” naivete or a “We’re worthless!” negativism.
In the words of philosopher Hannah Arendt, “The most horrifying things about the Nazis was not that they were so deviant but that they were terrifyingly normal.”
I’m merely showing how wonderful the God of the Bible is. He’s the one who doesn’t let us play these hairsplitting games. He’s the one leveling the moral playing field, saying we don’t think like he does and can’t know the things he knows. He’s the one telling us to refrain from condemning others, because we don’t know what motivates them or us.
While a blessing adds value to someone, a curse subtracts it. And boy, do we feel it when we’re cursed. It can be the slightest thing. An eye roll. Dismissive body language. An ignored email. Even a slight pause can be a curse, Willard said. A husband can curse his wife with the merest hesitation before saying, “I love you too.” Not only are curses not confined to a list of cuss words, but you can actually curse people by saying completely benign-sounding grandma phrases. We all know “Bless her heart” often means “She’s an idiot.”
I’ve noticed that when I’m not worried about my own virtuousness, I can finally focus on blessing other people, even those who curse me. It’s actually more fun than it sounds. We can approach each person with a fundamental question in mind: How can I add value to this person’s life?
to my knowledge, humans are alone among creatures who possess the ability to take a story about buying a treat for a kid and turn it into a bad deed. Even dolphins can’t do this, and they can do everything.
Helen Andrews, a managing editor for the Washington Examiner, writes about this in an essay called “Shame Storm”: The more online shame cycles you observe, the more obvious the pattern becomes: Everyone comes up with a principled-sounding pretext that serves as a barrier against admitting to themselves that, in fact, all they have really done is join a mob.
...the world is already on a guilt trip, even if it’s unacknowledged. Everyone is aboard the Guilt Train, and Jesus is the only way off.
John Lennon concluded in an angry letter to McCartney that, in the final analysis, the Beatles were “just as big [jerks] as anyone else.” Nailed it. You wrote great songs, but doggone it, you’re just like the rest of us, guys. Something’s deeply wrong with the self-righteous lot of us.
Disintegration isn’t remarkable. Entropy isn’t remarkable. Disunity isn’t remarkable. Unity is.
Be radically charitable to your Christian brothers and sisters. Be downright deferential. Consider them better than you. Demonstrate humility and love in every interaction. Do not insult their intelligence. Do not mock them. Do not presume them to be beneath your sophistication. Assume the best of their intentions. Do not belittle them. If you want to engage their ideas and disagree, do so.
I’m a bunch of noise. As brutal as social media is, that’s where people are. Instead of using it to tear each other to shreds for the benefit of our political allies, maybe we could use it as a place to demonstrate what a city on a hill looks like. Disagree with a brother or sister? It will happen. But these people are our family above all.
After all, if someone else calls Jesus “Lord” in this increasingly post-Christian culture, it means something. Fifty years ago, it may not have meant so much to say such a thing. But things have changed, and now acknowledging that there is a King who transcends us, and it’s Jesus of Nazareth—that’s a big deal. If we agree on that, we may not vote together, but we can sing together and pray together and talk together. We have a bond that’s deeper than public policy, deeper than our misunderstandings, deeper than our wounds.
Things fall apart. But we don’t have to.
The Dalai Lama said the fix-all is meditation. “If every 8 year old in the world is taught meditation, we will eliminate violence from the world in one generation,” he said, in a statement that ignores Buddhists’ key roles in bloody conflicts and hatred.
Self-righteousness impedes our ability to listen. It thwarts our efforts to be in lasting relationships. But humility is the very opposite of this. It relies on others. It allows us to be corrected, to be set straight. It opens us to wisdom.
MRI scans have shown that when we’re hit with dissonant information—things we’d rather not know, things that disagree with our internal stories—the reasoning part of our brain starts to shut down and the emotional part starts lighting up.
Apologies are plentiful, but real repentance is rare and precious. That’s because repentance is total. It’s not a graduated thing. Jesus presents it to us as a binary: Either we go this way or that. Either we go our own way, on a path that seems right but leads to death, or the narrow way that leads to life.
We even have a Magic Kingdom near where I live, and it’s truly magical. Anything can happen. A mouse can talk! A boy can fly! An order of chicken fingers can be $25! The possibilities are limitless. It’s magical. (By the way, a commenter on Reddit noted that Disney World is actually a human trap built by a mouse.
There’s an unforgettable Twilight Zone episode that’s about this, strangely enough. A guy goes to the afterlife and loves it. He’s where he gets everything he wants. He gets the best cigars, all the women fawn over him, and he wins every pool or poker game he plays. He’s in heaven, surely. He’s always winning, winning, winning. It’s always about him. It’s everything he’s ever wanted. Until it’s not. The days begin to drag, one after another. He becomes aware of the pointlessness of his existence. He’s stuck inside what he thought would be his own fantasy, and it’s grinding misery. The twist at the end? He’s not where he originally thought he was at all.
Earlier, I mentioned the trial of Adolf Eichmann, architect of the Nazis’ “Final Solution” of annihilating the Jews. Eichmann tried to rationalize his role—he claimed he didn’t personally kill anyone with his own hands. He did acknowledge that he had aided in mass murder. Did he have any regrets? Was he sorry? Oh, no. Ironically, for a man who defended himself by claiming he was only following orders, he wanted to make sure we knew he was still in charge. “Repentance is for little children,” he said.
Oddly, perhaps, Eichmann is right: Repentance really is for little children. It’s for anyone, really, who knows they’re vulnerable. It’s for people who know they can no longer defend themselves.
“If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being.”
...growth does not come from gaining more and more knowledge. Growth comes from allowing your ego’s story to drop away.
“But Jesus got angry! He cleared out the temple!” Well, yes, he did. But he is sinless, and we’re not. Like my friend Sherri says (she says a lot of great stuff), “No, sweetheart, you don’t get a whip. You’re the money changer.”
Humility is realizing that we are not the authority, then submitting to the real authority.
Modern Satanists agree with me here. “Satanism is not Devil-worship. No matter how often we restate this, misunderstandings persist,” the Church of Satan website says. “After all, the mythological Satan doesn’t worship any gods above Himself. Neither do we. Every Satanist is his or her own god. You can’t get more Satanic than that!”
It’s been 2,000-plus years, and if aliens landed on earth, I doubt they’d look at our history and say, “You know what you guys are really good at? Loving your enemies. Now, let us help you with your overpriced coffee issue.” It’s tragic, because loving our enemies.
What message would a wise being bring from another place? After millennia of violence, division, and even carnage, we need outside help! We await this enlightenment! In the story of Jesus, we have an advanced life form. He is wisdom and love in the form of a man who delivers himself to us. And his message, put very roughly, is (drumroll, please) . . . “I love you. And seriously, you are sick. Get over yourselves. You are sheep. You need me.” Sheep? Us? And so the search continues. Anybody else out there?
“The freedom all to be lords of our tiny skull-sized kingdoms, alone at the center of creation.”
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 15, 2023
Wow, great book!
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