Talking About Death

by Virginia B. Morris

Even in this candidly confessional age, we've been conditioned to avoid discussions of death. Our youth-worshipping culture does everything to deny death, which is why, when the end nears, most of us are inadequately prepared to deal with it. And the cost of that is great: many are haunted by memories of how inappropriately or painfully or uncomfortably their parents and grandparents died. Many of us avoid even considering the options, in all their complexity, that we will most likely face one day, given our new longevity and the profound advances in medicine. With its wise and very compelling argument that all of us, at any age, can and should face death before it faces us, Talking About Death addresses the cultural, personal, medical, and legal concerns that are necessary for us--as individuals and as a society--to prepare for a good death, a death where the dying are in control and not, as is too often the case, caught in a downward spiral of medical intervention and misunderstood intentions. Virginia Morris skillfully weaves together personal stories and practical matters, scientific fact and spiritual sensitivity into an important book about how we can achieve a greater sense of peace in dying, and rediscover the art of living.

256 pages, Paperback

First published January 3, 2004

Reviews

[Randy Wilson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I like my death and dying books raw, unfiltered and unflinching. This one was great on all those counts. Despite the huge impact of the Kubler-Ross book on death and dying more than fifty years ago, this much newer book is still reiterating that the medical industrial complex is still queasy about confronting the reality head on. It prefers to pretend there is always something else to do to needlessly prolong life.

She walks the reader through the deaths of several people many of them made more difficult because the loved one, the family and friends are frozen like deer in the headlights by this taboo (still??) subject. She covers the basics too about communicating about how to make the loved more comfortable during the dying process.

My only complaint is that the book didn’t provide any reading list. I am always looking for more books on death and dying.

[Jan Ayers · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great resource for Death Cafe discussions and the like.

[Klasko · Rating 4 out of 5]

Once again Virginia Morris has written on a timely subject. I am reading this book because I want to take death away from the doctors and give it back to me and my family so we can ease our loved ones into a comfortable passage at home, surrounded by loved ones and not in a stark hospital surrounded by machines and strangers accompanied by pain. I want this for myself and I want this for my loved ones. I want to have the answers to important medical questions before I am actually faced with them. This book tells why it's so important to open up dialog with loved ones about death. It also is helpful in telling what we need to know so that we might die in a dignified manner. I highly recommend it to anyone facing death themselves or with loved ones facing death.

[Laura K · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an amazing book. It took me a long time to read. Honestly, there were days when I just didn't feel up to it, considering the subject matter. But I am glad that I read it. I am an attorney who drafts wills and advanced directives for my clients and this book was very valuable in helping me understand how to better help them, and also to understand what I want for myself.