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Quantum Hart Trilogy #1
Satan, Aliens, Go!: A novel
Uh-oh. The aliens are here...
..and they won't leave until they've captured every single human on the planet.
Meanwhile, in a dark room in LA, Satan is rewatching his favorite show when he hears someone banging on his door to bring him news of the invasion.
Together, they set off on an epic journey that will take them through Hell and back. Literally.
Will our heroes be able to stop the aliens from assimilating the human race? And what will they have to sacrifice if they hope to succeed?
A hilarious, fast-paced romp through spacetime with a heart of gold!
You'll fall in love with this funny, heartwarming story of invading aliens, lost love and newfound hope, because not every science fiction book has to be about huge, warring battleships and high-intensity mega-lasers.
Get it now!
- GenresHumorScience Fiction
211 pages, Paperback
Published October 9, 2019
166 people are currently reading
168 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews
August 15, 2020
The book starts with an alien invasion but its not the direction you expect it you go. A pair of unexpected heroes emerge, a human named Occam and the Devil himself, Satan. They must team up to stop the mysterious Aliens from sucking up every human into their space ship to give them their version of heaven.
The book reminded me so much of the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy! Both are hilarious and filled the the brim with wacky situation, unexpected turns, zany characters and best of all, out of this world humor! Literally! I loved how this turned everything we think we know about hell upside down. Think it's a volcanic heat and activity, jokes nn you! Imagine the the heat of the Mediterranean heat year long with beautiful scenery at every corner.
I also loved the dialogue in this book. Every character interaction was filled with hilarious banter, pop culture references and grandiose comments.
I would definitely recommend this for anyone who enjoys The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy or The Discworld series. Can't wait to read the sequel!
The book reminded me so much of the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy! Both are hilarious and filled the the brim with wacky situation, unexpected turns, zany characters and best of all, out of this world humor! Literally! I loved how this turned everything we think we know about hell upside down. Think it's a volcanic heat and activity, jokes nn you! Imagine the the heat of the Mediterranean heat year long with beautiful scenery at every corner.
I also loved the dialogue in this book. Every character interaction was filled with hilarious banter, pop culture references and grandiose comments.
I would definitely recommend this for anyone who enjoys The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy or The Discworld series. Can't wait to read the sequel!
December 13, 2020
Loved it! It moves fast, it is so smartly written, full of pop culture references, this books really talks to you! It made me laugh aloud many times. I particularly liked the titles of each chapter.
I still cannot believe that the author is a dentist! Such a great talent! If you have enjoyed The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy then you should definitely read the Quantum Heart Trilogy.
I still cannot believe that the author is a dentist! Such a great talent! If you have enjoyed The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy then you should definitely read the Quantum Heart Trilogy.
February 15, 2022
Save yourself some time and avoid this book.
The summary and the retrowave cover drew my attention, but holy crap man... no just no. This book is equivalent to a story that a high-school buddy would write about your group of friends going on a wacky adventure together and as far as I can tell is exactly that only he's changed you and your pals names to what any 15 year old would consider cool guy names just to be edgy. The jokes were terrible and it all may as well have been a terrible SNL sketch that dragged on for over ten minutes. I only finished it out of some morbid curiosity that it might actually get better towards the ending. Then again what do I know? I'm not a professional critic just another jerk on the internet complaining. Read it if you want I don't care.
The summary and the retrowave cover drew my attention, but holy crap man... no just no. This book is equivalent to a story that a high-school buddy would write about your group of friends going on a wacky adventure together and as far as I can tell is exactly that only he's changed you and your pals names to what any 15 year old would consider cool guy names just to be edgy. The jokes were terrible and it all may as well have been a terrible SNL sketch that dragged on for over ten minutes. I only finished it out of some morbid curiosity that it might actually get better towards the ending. Then again what do I know? I'm not a professional critic just another jerk on the internet complaining. Read it if you want I don't care.
February 20, 2022
Well once you’ve put one of his books down, you simply can’t pick it up again.
The amount of utter trash in the volume is almost infinite — trash of conception, execution, dialogue and sentiment.
Whoever buys the book on the will be cheating himself of his money, and we believe we shall never see the man who has endured the reading of the whole of it…. Comment upon the [plot] is needless. But even this string of nonsense is equalled by the nonsense that is strung upon it, in the way of crazy sentiment and exaggerated passion. What the book means, we know not. To save it from almost utter worthlessness, it must be called a prose poem.
The amount of utter trash in the volume is almost infinite — trash of conception, execution, dialogue and sentiment.
Whoever buys the book on the will be cheating himself of his money, and we believe we shall never see the man who has endured the reading of the whole of it…. Comment upon the [plot] is needless. But even this string of nonsense is equalled by the nonsense that is strung upon it, in the way of crazy sentiment and exaggerated passion. What the book means, we know not. To save it from almost utter worthlessness, it must be called a prose poem.
February 22, 2021
Clever, extremely funny, fast paced comedic sci-fi ripper that had this grumpy prick chuckling out loud :)
Raises the thus far un-raised question of what, exactly, would the Devil make of an alien invasion of Earth?
Hits all the right comedic and pop-culture notes while enlightening readers to the fact that, contrary to 2,000 yrs of religious propaganda, Satan is actually a pretty cool (and handy!) dude to have along on a road trip.
Raises the thus far un-raised question of what, exactly, would the Devil make of an alien invasion of Earth?
Hits all the right comedic and pop-culture notes while enlightening readers to the fact that, contrary to 2,000 yrs of religious propaganda, Satan is actually a pretty cool (and handy!) dude to have along on a road trip.
May 8, 2023
Don’t Let Death Make You Its Bitch!
Well, that certainly was… I mean, it was definitely chock full of… And those other bits, they were also just… I mean, when you combine all of that into one… um, what the fvck did I just read?
It was a dark and stormy night, but don’t let that scare you. Every night is dark and stormy on this godforsaken rock.
Kids (actual ones) and kids at heart, please, PLEASE do not misinterpret my rating of Antonis Tsagaris' (would you believe I wrote his name from memory… ha!) extremely unique book "Satan, Aliens, Go!". This is absolutely not an indication that I did not like it or was otherwise not entertained or - is my wont noting my severe OCD-tendencies combined with a side salad of anal retentiveness - that I even found more editing mistakes than most independently published books tend to have. Because NONE of that would be the case (ok, weird punctuation sometimes but let's move on). No, I am genuinely a little flabbergasted after my relatively short reading session - it is after all a relatively short book - and am, as mentioned, genuinely not entirely sure what I've read.
The landscape, even though it smelled like a urinal with a yeast infection that had just shit itself, was strangely comforting.
How to explain what I have managed to ascertain about all this (waves vaguely). Tsagaris has written - I think - what is a fairly good hommage (1 or 2 'm' version, your call) to "The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy" (mentioned by name even no less than 4 times within!), among other classics. And of the 42 (ha!) books out there that I think more than deserve such a worshipful treatise, that is definitely a good one to go for. Granted AT mixes in a lot of extras along the way, including what I would consider either an full dollop of Heide Goody / Iain Grant goody-ness (ref. that clovenhoofed rascal Satan) or even a solid nod to Chris Tullbane and his beloved - and very protective - asparagus demi-god Lord Beel-Kasan (part of the "John Smith" classics and very much a good pal of Chthulu among others). So yeah, there's a lot of great references if your reading history resembles mine along with a lot of popular culture nods as well, including the best indicator of our society of all, namely, reality TV.
Adolf Hitler was having a disagreement with Genghis Khan about toilet rights.
Like I said and will say again, the book is well-written albeit somewhat slow-moving (under the circumstances mind you) so I have no complaints there. Where I'm still a little bit on the fence that guards the decaying interdimensional portal which has directly or indirectly doomed us all to a life of immortal pixelation is that the humo(u)r is pretty much hit or miss throughout. Oh the book tries, goodness gracious it tries to be funny but… well, I think you just have to judge for yourself. A lot of said haha-ination is very juvenile in nature - intentionally so I'm sure - and didn't do all that much for me = the guy that read the book and is writing this review. That's not to say it wasn't funny, no, but what did it do for me is the question. Were there sections that either elicited LOL's or ROFL's? Welllll… Let's just say my more than scholarly-formulated answer remains : I dunno.
Dude, I’m farting rainbows. This is the life.
If I had to give one compliment to the author - well, I don't have to but I will anyway - is that my curiousity is more than piqued (and maybe also peeked and peaked, too). I do want to find out what happens to the apparently trillions of people involved in this story - including the billions on Earth as well as what I assume are at least that many in (on?) Hell as well. For a guy with a one-off pun for a name, I am interested in seeing what turns out to be Occam's fate, as well as his immediate loved ones. And naturally the other 6 or 7 main players involved up to this point, including Occam's ex, his dead (?) son and the weird conspiracy theory dude.
Please drop some of that horse manure coming out of your mouth in my garden on your way out, I heard it’s good for the plants.
So, yeah, I'm going to have another coffee, file my review on all appropriate sites, send this book back to the KU overlords (hallowed be their subscription limits) and then download Book 2 immediately. I think that's more than fair. And really, if you don't like it, I'll just turn you into a Raelian snow cave monster, which oddly enough seems to resemble female genitalia. Sigh… I really hope that isn't a "Star Wars" reference…
Well, that certainly was… I mean, it was definitely chock full of… And those other bits, they were also just… I mean, when you combine all of that into one… um, what the fvck did I just read?
It was a dark and stormy night, but don’t let that scare you. Every night is dark and stormy on this godforsaken rock.
Kids (actual ones) and kids at heart, please, PLEASE do not misinterpret my rating of Antonis Tsagaris' (would you believe I wrote his name from memory… ha!) extremely unique book "Satan, Aliens, Go!". This is absolutely not an indication that I did not like it or was otherwise not entertained or - is my wont noting my severe OCD-tendencies combined with a side salad of anal retentiveness - that I even found more editing mistakes than most independently published books tend to have. Because NONE of that would be the case (ok, weird punctuation sometimes but let's move on). No, I am genuinely a little flabbergasted after my relatively short reading session - it is after all a relatively short book - and am, as mentioned, genuinely not entirely sure what I've read.
The landscape, even though it smelled like a urinal with a yeast infection that had just shit itself, was strangely comforting.
How to explain what I have managed to ascertain about all this (waves vaguely). Tsagaris has written - I think - what is a fairly good hommage (1 or 2 'm' version, your call) to "The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy" (mentioned by name even no less than 4 times within!), among other classics. And of the 42 (ha!) books out there that I think more than deserve such a worshipful treatise, that is definitely a good one to go for. Granted AT mixes in a lot of extras along the way, including what I would consider either an full dollop of Heide Goody / Iain Grant goody-ness (ref. that clovenhoofed rascal Satan) or even a solid nod to Chris Tullbane and his beloved - and very protective - asparagus demi-god Lord Beel-Kasan (part of the "John Smith" classics and very much a good pal of Chthulu among others). So yeah, there's a lot of great references if your reading history resembles mine along with a lot of popular culture nods as well, including the best indicator of our society of all, namely, reality TV.
Adolf Hitler was having a disagreement with Genghis Khan about toilet rights.
Like I said and will say again, the book is well-written albeit somewhat slow-moving (under the circumstances mind you) so I have no complaints there. Where I'm still a little bit on the fence that guards the decaying interdimensional portal which has directly or indirectly doomed us all to a life of immortal pixelation is that the humo(u)r is pretty much hit or miss throughout. Oh the book tries, goodness gracious it tries to be funny but… well, I think you just have to judge for yourself. A lot of said haha-ination is very juvenile in nature - intentionally so I'm sure - and didn't do all that much for me = the guy that read the book and is writing this review. That's not to say it wasn't funny, no, but what did it do for me is the question. Were there sections that either elicited LOL's or ROFL's? Welllll… Let's just say my more than scholarly-formulated answer remains : I dunno.
Dude, I’m farting rainbows. This is the life.
If I had to give one compliment to the author - well, I don't have to but I will anyway - is that my curiousity is more than piqued (and maybe also peeked and peaked, too). I do want to find out what happens to the apparently trillions of people involved in this story - including the billions on Earth as well as what I assume are at least that many in (on?) Hell as well. For a guy with a one-off pun for a name, I am interested in seeing what turns out to be Occam's fate, as well as his immediate loved ones. And naturally the other 6 or 7 main players involved up to this point, including Occam's ex, his dead (?) son and the weird conspiracy theory dude.
Please drop some of that horse manure coming out of your mouth in my garden on your way out, I heard it’s good for the plants.
So, yeah, I'm going to have another coffee, file my review on all appropriate sites, send this book back to the KU overlords (hallowed be their subscription limits) and then download Book 2 immediately. I think that's more than fair. And really, if you don't like it, I'll just turn you into a Raelian snow cave monster, which oddly enough seems to resemble female genitalia. Sigh… I really hope that isn't a "Star Wars" reference…
Read
February 6, 2021What? Aliens are here? And they want to take all the humans? And the only one who can stop them is Satan? Who has been exiled from hell?
Sounds shit right? If that's what you thought, then you'd be correct. With a silly plot and boring nonsensical characters, it reads much like a teenager's best attempt at writing a sci-fi novel. And failing. Miserably. Maybe I'm just being critical, but then again, maybe I'm just blathering on because, despite my best attempts, I don't actually recall much from the book. That's how interesting it was: I retained nothing. The only positive thing I have to say is thank fuck I got this for free through Prime Reading!
Sounds shit right? If that's what you thought, then you'd be correct. With a silly plot and boring nonsensical characters, it reads much like a teenager's best attempt at writing a sci-fi novel. And failing. Miserably. Maybe I'm just being critical, but then again, maybe I'm just blathering on because, despite my best attempts, I don't actually recall much from the book. That's how interesting it was: I retained nothing. The only positive thing I have to say is thank fuck I got this for free through Prime Reading!
August 12, 2020
I voluntarily reviewed this after receiving a free copy from Hiddengemsbooks.
This book was a quick and delightful read. It had a lot of puns, and a few jokes that made me laugh out loud. I felt it had a few pop culture references that will not date well, but most of them hit home. This book is very much of the absurdism sort akin to Terry Pratchett books or The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy. I am not a huge fan of those, but I did enjoy this book.
I doubt I will continue with the series but I may recommend it to others.
This book was a quick and delightful read. It had a lot of puns, and a few jokes that made me laugh out loud. I felt it had a few pop culture references that will not date well, but most of them hit home. This book is very much of the absurdism sort akin to Terry Pratchett books or The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy. I am not a huge fan of those, but I did enjoy this book.
I doubt I will continue with the series but I may recommend it to others.
October 3, 2021
It's a dangerous game to compare humorous SciFi with Douglas Adams' books simply because it primes the reader to expect something very good, sadly this isn't. I found it fairly average but having bought the trilogy gave it my most optimistic effort. It's quite funny in places but is inconsistent and suffered an entropy decay arc through all three books. Note to self "don't buy bundled trilogies without reading a good chunk of the first book".
Read
October 4, 2020This was the very silly story I needed right now
This author must have lived through the 80's, because there were so many references it made me feel right at home. The writing was interesting, fast paced and funny. I didn't think about the pandemic or the election once while reading it. Great distraction and a good read!
This author must have lived through the 80's, because there were so many references it made me feel right at home. The writing was interesting, fast paced and funny. I didn't think about the pandemic or the election once while reading it. Great distraction and a good read!
March 24, 2021
While nothing is bad about this book, I found nothing in it which got my attention or excited me. Neither plot or characters invested my interest. Intended to be humorous that part didn't work for me either.
Hate to damn with faint praise, but this book just didn't work for me. It's an OK read but that's the best I can manage to say.
Hate to damn with faint praise, but this book just didn't work for me. It's an OK read but that's the best I can manage to say.
June 21, 2021
A SIMPLE MAN'S REVIEW:
Meh. It was fun, but not that fun. It was silly, but not that silly. And it was inventive, but not that inventive. It was a middle-of-the-road read and experience. But, since it was so cheap, the cost-to-enjoyment ratio was acceptable. I might even get the next one! :)
Your call!
Meh. It was fun, but not that fun. It was silly, but not that silly. And it was inventive, but not that inventive. It was a middle-of-the-road read and experience. But, since it was so cheap, the cost-to-enjoyment ratio was acceptable. I might even get the next one! :)
Your call!
June 5, 2021
I needed a palate cleanser after my last few books, and this one was perfect. It’s got lots of humor, Satan as basically the good guy (even though he’s a jerk to some people), and a crazy alien that doesn’t care what humanity thinks about being ripped from earth. All in all, a good time.
August 30, 2021
A witty, tongue-in-cheek jaunt through Hell, Earth, and an alien invasion. I found this to be just the thing I needed for a light-hearted sci-fi read. I'm looking forward to the continuing adventures.
January 30, 2023
delightful
This book made me laugh, and not a gentle exhalation from the nostrils- a genuine giggle and I even snorted a little. I walked around and thought about the funniest parts and laughed again. This is exactly what I want from a book in this economy
This book made me laugh, and not a gentle exhalation from the nostrils- a genuine giggle and I even snorted a little. I walked around and thought about the funniest parts and laughed again. This is exactly what I want from a book in this economy
November 17, 2024
I liked the book, don't get me wrong, but the conclusion left me confused. The final 3-4 (short) chapters left me wondering what was going on. No clear explanation as to what was happening at all. I will read the sequels just so I will get an idea what was going on at the end of this one.
January 22, 2021
Absolutely loved this! A quick read but so good!
February 23, 2021
Really funny, quirky and fun!!
February 27, 2021
One and done. I won’t be reading book two.
March 15, 2021
Kindle unlimited
No idea what to think really, since I do not like flashbacks, worse when multiple. Will read the next one to decide.
No idea what to think really, since I do not like flashbacks, worse when multiple. Will read the next one to decide.
February 18, 2022
Funny, silly, read the whole thing in a day so definitely enjoyable enough! Laughed "out loud" at times! Wish you could give half stars as I'd give this 3.5
December 31, 2022
This is a great premise and world that the author has built. The book seems like an introduction rather than the full story--especially since it ends in a setup for the next book.
October 3, 2023
This is silly and juvenile and kinda what I needed right now amidst some other darker, spooky season reads.
April 18, 2024
I loved this book. A shorter read too which can be nice. I found it through a targeted FB ad so I was leery, but the algorithms got it right. It was funny, weird, and smart. Not for everyone, but I love weird books, and this was great. I will definitely finish the series.
August 3, 2021
Satan turns out to be a misunderstood nerd from a parallel dimension.
Writing has a few funny bits, but not enough to keep me reading.
#DNF
If you want a much better Satan exiled to Earth book, take a look at Heide Goody's Clovenhoof.
Writing has a few funny bits, but not enough to keep me reading.
#DNF
If you want a much better Satan exiled to Earth book, take a look at Heide Goody's Clovenhoof.
November 24, 2019
Aliens have destroyed the white house. Satan is on earth doing second rate magic tricks. His friend Occam is fighting with Rita, Occam's ex. Somewhere in the universe, beings create a dimensional rift and the universe takes a sidestep. Confused? Antonis Tsagaris's story will remove all the confusion as Satan and Occam work to halt the alien menace. What better way to survive than to go to Hell? Hell is not what people envision, but it is a nice place. Satan and his sidekick Occam join forces with Cthulu and battle with Baal to find a solution. Humorous situations arise left and right complete with references to TNG. Of course, the aliens find humans to be a problem when trying to incorporate them into their society. This is a nice little tale with sufficient humor and a different take on Satan and Hell that will keep you entertained.
Note: I received this book as an advanced reader copy from the author and am freely providing this unprejudiced review.
Note: I received this book as an advanced reader copy from the author and am freely providing this unprejudiced review.
May 28, 2020
A different view on Hell, that's for sure!
When an alien ship attacks the White House, it's up to Satan and his friend Occam to save the planet. To do so, they have to go to Hell and back!
I had a great time reading this book. That said, it feels more like and introduction to a series. I would like to learn more about the characters' background, I hope that the next books will tell us more about them.
I will certainly be looking forwards to the following book.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
When an alien ship attacks the White House, it's up to Satan and his friend Occam to save the planet. To do so, they have to go to Hell and back!
I had a great time reading this book. That said, it feels more like and introduction to a series. I would like to learn more about the characters' background, I hope that the next books will tell us more about them.
I will certainly be looking forwards to the following book.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
February 3, 2020
Funny. Read this book! So much better than reality!!!
One liner after one liner and tons of great literary and movie/tv hysterical references. I contrast for the sequel! I heartily recommend this book for time spent away from politics, collapsing economies and crazy viruses that we can't do anything about.
One liner after one liner and tons of great literary and movie/tv hysterical references. I contrast for the sequel! I heartily recommend this book for time spent away from politics, collapsing economies and crazy viruses that we can't do anything about.
December 29, 2020
Pacy, fun and certainly not serious. Fancy escaping the tedium of the day? This is it :-)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews