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Lead Me: Finding Courage to Fight for Your Marriage, Children, and Faith
The former lead singer of Christian music sensation Sanctus Real comes clean about the tension between life on the road and life at home.
"Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone."
--"Lead Me" by Sanctus Real
Matt Hammitt had performed his hit song, "Lead Me," almost a thousand times. And every time he sang, the lyrics echoed the voices of his own family. His marriage was strained. His kids were growing up without him. Matt's good intentions could no longer sustain his family; he needed to be a man of action. Yet even as he told his Sanctus Real bandmates that he was leaving the band to invest in his family, he wondered: Was it really possible to be present at home and still provide financially too?
In Lead Me, Matt identifies the tension many men experience when trying to balance work and home life. With bracing honesty, vulnerable storytelling, and practical application, Matt challenges you to be faithful both to God's vocational call and to His call to lead your family well.
Discover the extraordinary joy of actively and intentionally pursuing your wife and children. Matt reminds us that it's messy. It's difficult. And it's the most rewarding thing you can do, beyond following Christ.
"Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone."
--"Lead Me" by Sanctus Real
Matt Hammitt had performed his hit song, "Lead Me," almost a thousand times. And every time he sang, the lyrics echoed the voices of his own family. His marriage was strained. His kids were growing up without him. Matt's good intentions could no longer sustain his family; he needed to be a man of action. Yet even as he told his Sanctus Real bandmates that he was leaving the band to invest in his family, he wondered: Was it really possible to be present at home and still provide financially too?
In Lead Me, Matt identifies the tension many men experience when trying to balance work and home life. With bracing honesty, vulnerable storytelling, and practical application, Matt challenges you to be faithful both to God's vocational call and to His call to lead your family well.
Discover the extraordinary joy of actively and intentionally pursuing your wife and children. Matt reminds us that it's messy. It's difficult. And it's the most rewarding thing you can do, beyond following Christ.
224 pages, Paperback
Published February 11, 2020
23 people are currently reading
120 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
October 14, 2019
In a world where so much is permissible, where quitting on a marriage or a call to continue on a path God has given can be so understandably kicked aside for something that works better for you. This book gives the reader a pause, to rethink the fine line where balance is laid down. The balance between being a spiritual leader for your own family versus being among the whole world. This book reads like a memoir of a spiritual journey where the author lays bare so much. At times funny and at times sad but there are so many great messages in this man's story of life and marriage. A great book for husbands, fathers, and the wives who love them. I hope he writes more!
March 14, 2021
A great walk for Sanctus fans or folks that were doing the CCM thing at that time. Matt weaves honesty and wisdom into the reflections of his marriage.
December 7, 2020
I highly recommend this book to husbands and fathers, and to anyone else who would like to read or listen to it with them. I would like to go back and listen to it again myself, paying more attention to and taking notes from sections I thought especially helpful or meaningful and to the discussion questions. There is a lot more I have in common with Matt Hammitt than I thought, both in how we feel and think and in difficulties and experiences we have had, especially in the little ways that might sound silly to talk about.
I've considered Matt Hammit my role model for a while because I admired how he kept his faith through his struggles regarding his son's severe heart issues. I followed the blog "Bowen's Heart." Reading this book, I learned interesting things about Matt and his life. He also had a lot of thoughts and wisdom to share that I can appreciate, especially since I can relate to some what he had to share.
I know role models are people with issues and mistakes, but this book helps keep things in perspective. There were things I never knew he was dealing with regarding relationships and responsibilities when I was reading his blog, and I did not know about some other projects he and his wife have done that discuss such things. He has done and faced a lot, and he is far from perfect, just like every single other human being in existence. He's not better than people who look up to him, but he helps those people look up to God.
I've considered Matt Hammit my role model for a while because I admired how he kept his faith through his struggles regarding his son's severe heart issues. I followed the blog "Bowen's Heart." Reading this book, I learned interesting things about Matt and his life. He also had a lot of thoughts and wisdom to share that I can appreciate, especially since I can relate to some what he had to share.
I know role models are people with issues and mistakes, but this book helps keep things in perspective. There were things I never knew he was dealing with regarding relationships and responsibilities when I was reading his blog, and I did not know about some other projects he and his wife have done that discuss such things. He has done and faced a lot, and he is far from perfect, just like every single other human being in existence. He's not better than people who look up to him, but he helps those people look up to God.
April 13, 2021
Written by Christian artist Matt about his journey in the business industry, as a husband and a father. Great read with a spouse or small group. Told from Matt’s perspective with some inserts from Sarah. Feel good, family centered book with many life lessons and reflections.
May 28, 2023
My wife and I met Matt Hammitt at his last Family Life conference last November. He autographed a copy of this book for us. I enjoyed the book as much as I’ve enjoyed his “Lead Me” song all these years. Its raw authenticity is powerful. I agree with Dr. Dennis Rainey that every man should read it.
February 5, 2020
The first few pages scared me a little bit. I felt there were too many memories, too much story, maybe even too many details, but they were beautifully exposed and I said I would give it a try.
GOOD CHOICE !
The book is very captivating. I read it in two days, but I had to be very careful. If you get too caught up in the story, you lose those memorable phrases that can become your motto. But if you follow those phrases too much, you risk losing the story which is absolutely wonderful.
Matt Hammitt writes books as well as he writes songs :)
GOOD CHOICE !
The book is very captivating. I read it in two days, but I had to be very careful. If you get too caught up in the story, you lose those memorable phrases that can become your motto. But if you follow those phrases too much, you risk losing the story which is absolutely wonderful.
Matt Hammitt writes books as well as he writes songs :)
August 5, 2024
In Lead Me, Matt Hammitt opened up about his personal story and how he was able to rediscover his courage and to fight for his marriage and be a leader. Matt Hammitt was the lead singer for Sanctus Real until 2015. They had a few hit songs such as, Lead Me, Forgiven, The Face of Love, and much more. In the book, he went into detail about his journey with the band and the life on the road. He felt God was calling in to let go and trust Him to still provide for him when he left the group. He wrote each member of the band a personal letter explaining why he was leaving after twenty years together. His marriage to Sarah had it’s up and downs and they would fight often. Readers will get to see a glimpse into their marriage and how Matt realized that he had to make a change. He explained how we can get so focused on our spouse failures that we miss seeing our own. A lot of the struggle on their marriage was the fact that he was always gone and she felt like he needed to be home more. He admits to most of the fights he can’t even remember what they were about. He is the father to four kids. One of his kids, Bowen had a battle of health challenges that tested his faith and direction for his future. He had congenital heart disease and a host of issues that shaken them.
In the book, he explained how he was named the barf king. He shared how he was called this because when he was in first grade, he was waiting at the water fountain. He threw up because he struggled with anxiety. The stress grew as he got older and he was diagnosis with irritable bowel syndrome. He covered how he experienced bullying and how this affected him. He shared how he attended church regularly and then it changed when his family was asked to leave the church. They found a new church but still encountered some challenges times.
I would recommend this book to anyone who enjoys Christian music and they are ready to discover helpful marriage advice. I was greatly touched by his story and reading the behind the scenes of Sanctus Real. It was interesting to read about the hit song, Lead Me and how it has changed lives and has helped men to lead their families. His wife was the one who called him to step up and lead their family. The book contained very beneficial advice for marriage and what they learned thru trial and error. He also did a blog during the time Bowen was born and it became very popular and even lead to a GMA interview. What was really surprising was how one of his daughters kept have a recurring dream that her brother would die and he was the same age as his parents on stage. I enjoyed reading about the life story of how Sanctus Real come to be and the message behind some of the songs. He also told the story about how the idea of the name of the band come to be.
“I received this book free from Multnomah for my honest review.”
In the book, he explained how he was named the barf king. He shared how he was called this because when he was in first grade, he was waiting at the water fountain. He threw up because he struggled with anxiety. The stress grew as he got older and he was diagnosis with irritable bowel syndrome. He covered how he experienced bullying and how this affected him. He shared how he attended church regularly and then it changed when his family was asked to leave the church. They found a new church but still encountered some challenges times.
I would recommend this book to anyone who enjoys Christian music and they are ready to discover helpful marriage advice. I was greatly touched by his story and reading the behind the scenes of Sanctus Real. It was interesting to read about the hit song, Lead Me and how it has changed lives and has helped men to lead their families. His wife was the one who called him to step up and lead their family. The book contained very beneficial advice for marriage and what they learned thru trial and error. He also did a blog during the time Bowen was born and it became very popular and even lead to a GMA interview. What was really surprising was how one of his daughters kept have a recurring dream that her brother would die and he was the same age as his parents on stage. I enjoyed reading about the life story of how Sanctus Real come to be and the message behind some of the songs. He also told the story about how the idea of the name of the band come to be.
“I received this book free from Multnomah for my honest review.”
December 4, 2021
This book really hit home to me in so many ways. My husband and I are at a good point in our 21-year marriage right now, but it hasn't always been so, and I know it won't always be so. When Sanctus Real's song "Lead Me" came out, it spoke to me every time I heard it, and I used the lyrics to explain to my husband where I felt our relationship was lacking at the time. I'm sure the song spoke to countless others as well, just as I'm sure this book will speak to many hearts. Hammitt's insights into what it means to be present in a marriage, even if you can't be physically present (though that certainly helps) come from a place of experience, all of which he shares in this book. That his marriage survived some of what he describes is a testament to what can happen if two people refuse to take the easy way out and instead determine to do life together, even when it gets rough (really rough, from the sound of it).
I also found some insight into an issue my extended family is dealing with right now, and highlighted some quotes that apply to that situation. Though we all have our own stories that we're writing as we go through life, we can certainly learn from each other along the way, even if circumstances don't match up perfectly. And though I can't fully connect with what Hammitt and his wife went through during and after the birth of their first son, my heart broke to read about the pain and uncertainty they went through.
My favorite thing about the book is that he points back to the Bible with every uncertainty he has, with every lesson he learns. It's all right there for us to discover, and Hammitt lays some of it out in a way that could be beneficial to so many people who are struggling with their own families, marriages, or other relationships, whether their issue is trying to balance work and home or a plethora of other possible things that can cause a divide. Also, fans of Matt Hammitt and/or Sanctus Real might appreciate this peek into his life and why he left the band in 2015. I highly recommend this book to anyone who has interest for any reason. (Plus, any book that mentions Psalty the Singing Songbook, not once but twice, is a winner in my book!)
Thank you to Netgalley and WaterBrook & Multnomah for providing me a copy of this book to review.
I also found some insight into an issue my extended family is dealing with right now, and highlighted some quotes that apply to that situation. Though we all have our own stories that we're writing as we go through life, we can certainly learn from each other along the way, even if circumstances don't match up perfectly. And though I can't fully connect with what Hammitt and his wife went through during and after the birth of their first son, my heart broke to read about the pain and uncertainty they went through.
My favorite thing about the book is that he points back to the Bible with every uncertainty he has, with every lesson he learns. It's all right there for us to discover, and Hammitt lays some of it out in a way that could be beneficial to so many people who are struggling with their own families, marriages, or other relationships, whether their issue is trying to balance work and home or a plethora of other possible things that can cause a divide. Also, fans of Matt Hammitt and/or Sanctus Real might appreciate this peek into his life and why he left the band in 2015. I highly recommend this book to anyone who has interest for any reason. (Plus, any book that mentions Psalty the Singing Songbook, not once but twice, is a winner in my book!)
Thank you to Netgalley and WaterBrook & Multnomah for providing me a copy of this book to review.
April 6, 2025
4.0 stars
A very valuable book for every man- single or married! I gained a lot of valuable insights while reading this, and would love to read it again either soon before or after getting married! I loved Matt’s prose, and Sarah’s sections were really valuable additions. This helped clear some of the stereotypes I’ve heard so often about conflict in marriage, and provided many useful tools to navigate them! Super thankful for Matt, his story, his family, and most of all, the God we serve!
Some notes I took while reading:
* don’t let minor conflicts become major problems
* Acknowledge your own faults when faced with them instead of trying to point out the flaws in your spouse/ someone else
* The world will keep on spinning once you’re gone, your fame will be overtaken by thousands who won’t even miss you…
* …However, your wife has one husband- and your children have one father- God placed you on this Earth to do that job in a special way that only you can do. Without you there is a painful void.
* “You can't be attached to the idea of utopia if you actually want to be changed by love. Spiritual transformation is a lifelong process that requires seeing ourselves and others for who we really are. The permission to speak freely and honestly is priceless, knowing our faith and relationships will become stronger as we engage in conversations that would be easier and perhaps safer to avoid.” - pg. 94
* “The opposite of love isn’t anger, it’s indifference” - Tim Keller
* Be intentional! Don’t just float around and wait for things to change. - pg. 190
* Lord, equip me and make me willing to fight for my family!
* “don’t hide. Don’t blame. Practice radical honesty. Pay attention. Listen, don’t fix. Trust God for the change.” - pg. 198
* “I know now that love can look like a thousand little things that may never be realized until they’re gone.” - pg. 210
A very valuable book for every man- single or married! I gained a lot of valuable insights while reading this, and would love to read it again either soon before or after getting married! I loved Matt’s prose, and Sarah’s sections were really valuable additions. This helped clear some of the stereotypes I’ve heard so often about conflict in marriage, and provided many useful tools to navigate them! Super thankful for Matt, his story, his family, and most of all, the God we serve!
Some notes I took while reading:
* don’t let minor conflicts become major problems
* Acknowledge your own faults when faced with them instead of trying to point out the flaws in your spouse/ someone else
* The world will keep on spinning once you’re gone, your fame will be overtaken by thousands who won’t even miss you…
* …However, your wife has one husband- and your children have one father- God placed you on this Earth to do that job in a special way that only you can do. Without you there is a painful void.
* “You can't be attached to the idea of utopia if you actually want to be changed by love. Spiritual transformation is a lifelong process that requires seeing ourselves and others for who we really are. The permission to speak freely and honestly is priceless, knowing our faith and relationships will become stronger as we engage in conversations that would be easier and perhaps safer to avoid.” - pg. 94
* “The opposite of love isn’t anger, it’s indifference” - Tim Keller
* Be intentional! Don’t just float around and wait for things to change. - pg. 190
* Lord, equip me and make me willing to fight for my family!
* “don’t hide. Don’t blame. Practice radical honesty. Pay attention. Listen, don’t fix. Trust God for the change.” - pg. 198
* “I know now that love can look like a thousand little things that may never be realized until they’re gone.” - pg. 210
July 3, 2023
In his book, former Sanctus Real lead singer Matt Hammitt shares the difficulties he faced trying to balance life on the road with his family life. He discusses doubts, anxieties, and depression he experienced while his wife was at home with their four children. The book provides insights into what it means to be present in a marriage and how to navigate the challenges that come with it. Hammitt's experience shows that a marriage can survive even the roughest of times if two people refuse to take the easy way out. Hammitt points back to the Bible for every uncertainty he has, making this book beneficial to people struggling with their own families, marriages, or relationships. It is also recommended for fans of Matt Hammitt and Sanctus Real.
March 27, 2020
I initially thought this book would be more of a devotional-type marriage/career counseling book. In a sense it is, but that counseling is more between the lines. Instead this is a brutally honest autobiography of a successful musician trying to preserve his marriage. It's short, easy to read, and draws you in to Hammitt's emotional struggles. Even if you're not a fan of Sanctus Real (Hammitt's band) or a married person with creative pursuits, there's still plenty to learn from his story.
July 21, 2021
Sanctus Real was my favorite band. I love hearing Matt's stories. As a currently unmarried woman, I'm going to add it to my shelf for later or pass it along to those it can help. I have always related to the music of Sanctus Real, and I'm glad for better understanding of the stories behind the songs. Good read, quick and easy! Written for married men, but good for pretty much anyone!
January 13, 2025
This is an authentic account of married life lived in dependence on God. A rich resource exploring topics of conflict, commitment, the importance of trust and communication, responsibility, and trust in God. Loved the heartfelt narration by Matt and Sara. The book is absorbing, thought-provoking and life changing!
Read
December 10, 2021Required Reading for busy dads and moms
Lead Me reminded me that famous people are not perfect. Just because they are on stage leading others, it doesn't mean that life comes easily for them. God allows and uses our struggles to draw us all closer to Him.
Lead Me reminded me that famous people are not perfect. Just because they are on stage leading others, it doesn't mean that life comes easily for them. God allows and uses our struggles to draw us all closer to Him.
March 3, 2020
This book was amazing! Eye opening, sad, funny at times and gave us such a deep look into his life. I cried multiple times, not as much as i wouldve like to but was reading it at work. Reading his words and how he felt was so similar to what im currently going through. 2 kids, on the verge of divorce and this book has changed my outlook on my family. I've been struggling with selfishness and addiction and have just not been a great dad and have been an even worse husband and i can only hope i didnt get to read this book too late. If you are a father or a husband do not wait to read this book! I could not put it down and read it in 4-5 hours!
April 4, 2020
We are currently tending to our own garden and I found this story encouraging.
July 28, 2025
Awesome! Such a refreshing glimpse into an imperfect soul and how God worked wonders.
June 18, 2020
Must read
Awesome book that’s going up and down in a marriage. You’ll need to read. Good story about his life. Go read.
Awesome book that’s going up and down in a marriage. You’ll need to read. Good story about his life. Go read.
December 30, 2024
As a lifelong fan of Sanctus Real and Matt Hammitt, I knew I had to pick up this book. Throughout Lead Me, Hammitt shares his personal story of how the band started, what his relationship with God was like, and why he left the band to fight for the family God gave him. This book was filled with raw truth and lessons learned. Hammitt was willing to be open in helpful ways to help the reader see how to best fight for family and faith and what it costs too. I enjoyed reading this book!
I received a copy of this book from NetGalley and the publisher. This review is my own, honest opinion
I received a copy of this book from NetGalley and the publisher. This review is my own, honest opinion
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews