Call Me Elizabeth: Wife, Mother, Escort

by Dawn Annandale

Dawn Annandale is bright, witty, and well educated. But when her marriage began to fall apart, she had to face a seemingly insurmountable pile of debts on her own. Determined that her children would not suffer because of their parents' mistakes, and with no family to turn to for help, she searched desperately for a way to make some money, and fast. And made the decision to become an escort. Here she offers an insight into the sex industry in the UK today, as well as the shocking truth that increasing numbers of women in a similar situation to Dawn are turning to prostitution to make ends meet. It is by turns sad, funny, frightening, and empowering, but it is above all honest and compelling. From Emanuelle to Pretty Woman , the life of an escort remains deeply fascinating. There will be those who will judge the author, but there will be many more who will recognize her dilemma and understand how she reached her decision. This is her story—decide for yourself.

Genres: Nonfiction, Biography, Book Club, Contemporary, Erotica, Memoir

304 pages, Paperback

First published April 7, 2005

Reviews

[Gary · Rating 4 out of 5]

I can well understand why Dawn Annandale chose to become an escort -It was out of love of her children and the determination to give them the best life possible.
I do not however believe she would have done this though if her sense of self-worth had been so badly damaged by the severe sexual abuse she suffered at the hands of her father as a child and teen.
It clearly made her feel her own body was worthless and that it mattered not if she enjoyed sex, sex was merely a stepping stone of survival.
I think any woman has a right to be a sex-worker whatever her reason - and I believe few women enjoy it.
And no one has a right to take away her dignity or harm her .
But many women have to take up sex-work purely to survive and stop their children starving to death.
Dawn Annandale was not faced with such a stark choice - her children would have had to start again but would still have what they needed , if not the best education and extra murals.
But did she go into this trade knowing how soul destroying and dangerous it is?
I do think to a large extent that she glamourizes the experiences of prostitutes when in reality prostitutes (I prefer the term 'sex workers' ) go through such hell and are severely abused and fear for their lives at the hands of clients, and often their pimps and even the police
Which I why I fight for prostitution to be decriminalized so these girls can get full protection from the law. what is certain is that any woman who finds herself involved in prostitution out of desperate economic necessity or another has aright to be safe and protected and to have realistic exit routes out of prostitution
I would encourage no woman to become a prostitute but if she does nobody has a right to harm her or treat her without dignity.
Prostitutes are human beings, often with bigger hearts than many saints and we can all learn to judge people who have been through so much less harshly and find some compassion. the answer is to ensure no women have to do this. A society is nothing if it does not put at the very heart of its policy considerations, the welfare of the vulnerable in society.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was given this book to read by a prostitute, a madam . It was an engaging story, and easy to read, but it just doesn't feel right, it feels like a fairy tale. The real world of prostitution isn't this easy. I find this book a little dangerous, it gives the impression that all punters are good looking, sexy, live in nice houses, pay well and pay up without trouble. The reality of prostitution is just not like that. Like the film "Pretty Woman", this book does no favours by glamourising the industry. Maybe this is how prostitution is for middle-class women? It did make me feel better that she had all those kids to different men, and then had to struggle to bring them up. I thought that only happened in the underclass, LOL.

Don't get me wrong: if this true, then fair play to the bird for doing this just to keep her kids all in private schools, I'm not elitist but I think if she wants to put herself through that to give her kids that kind of start in life, and to ensure they had the things all parents want to give their kids, then bloody well done "Elizabeth". I just wish more of the downside of the business had been portrayed, it would make it seem more realistic. I am not negating the (few) unsavoury experiences that the book does portray, because it is important for them to be highlighted. But I think more of those sort of incidents would have made for a more honest book.

[Julie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Only when she fell asleep at the wheel of her car, having worked herself into the ground, did she then consider how dangerous her job was. Really? It's almost laughable, when she was putting her life in danger throughout. In my opinion her (poor) decisions in adulthood were a psychological response to her own treatment as a child. The need to give her children what she considered were necessities - expensive schools, expensive clothes, etc - to prove she loved them more than she was loved herself. If this is the case, it is very sad.

I have absolutely no issues with her choice of job - it was the justification of it I found sad (and sickening). She thought her children couldn't cope with a move of home or school? She didn't have much faith in them did she? The whole book was her justification of being a prostitute. She'd have done better justifying to me just why she felt the need to get into that much debt and to continue to live an unrealistic lifestyle. My definition of unrealistic is "if you can't pay for it, don't have it".

What irks me the most are her lies. She lied to herself about her debts until it was way too late. She lied to her family because she didn't want them to know about her job. She lied to her clients because she felt embarrassed at having so many children! I'm not embarrassed to acknowledge the existence of my children - I celebrate them. Living this life of lies: the actions of a "bright, witty and highly educated woman"? I can't agree.

[Sarah Goode · Rating 1 out of 5]

Read it and hated it. I really didn't like her attitude. Essentials are not private education and £50 a pair kids shoes. I definitely couldn't empathise with her.

[Natalie Doughty · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent

[Xejx · Rating 2 out of 5]

Didn't like this very much. Found myself frustated at the main character most of the time

[Cecily · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am giving this four stars because I liked it enough to finish it in one sitting. For the "true" story part - I will be shelving it under contemporary fiction...

[Susan Howarth · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this easy read and thought it was well written. However, I do think it is more a work of fiction than fact. I’m not sure it truly represents the gritty realism of the world of prostitution and glosses over the dangers of such a trade. The fact that the author made a false rape allegation and fraudulent benefit claims also does not sit right with me.

[Jessica · Rating 1 out of 5]

WIfe, Mother, Escort, and such a Mary-Sue. So not a true story by the way it was written.

1 star for decent sentence structure that you just didn't get in 50 Shades, but otherwise what seems to be an equally unrealistic story.

I would of liked to hear more about Paul the husband who only seemed to sit in front of the tv and drink beer, when he wasn't at work. Some small insight into his mind would have fleshed out the family situation more. Some mention of her siblings once they were grown up would have fleshed out her personal story more. Why after the abusive father died and the brother eventually said something did we not hear a word about them.

Everything seemed to be played out like she had no one to support her and the constant dream of a man coming along to make her dreams come true, so she could stay home and bake all day, well... Not a feminist book by any stretch of the imagination.

Working as a middle-class call girl so you can put your 6 kids by 3 fathers through private education plus no end of extra activities and sensible leather shoes for all. No Primark on these kids clearly. Sure Kent has some decent schools with good catchment areas that you don't have to pay for. It's hardly as if she lives in an area like Educating Yorkshire is it!

[Karen · Rating 2 out of 5]

A fascinating, but extremely frustrating read!

I found it so hard to empathise with the author who turned to prostitution to prevent her 6 (!!) children from going without the bare essentials. Those being private education, a grand house, the best clothes (nothing second hand or Primarni here) and every mod con a child could wish for!!!!!

It's funny how other people's perception of what is essential can differ so much!

I would love to know what happened to Anna's siblings - where were they whilst all this was going on? What did her husband Paul really feel? Where on earth did she get all her energy from - she never seemed to sleep?

Above all it had a rather unreal quality to the writing - many things were a little convenient, not least being her first few 'clients', who gave her excellent advice about the dos and don'ts of prostitution and her 1st pimp who was a bit too good to be true!

Now who can I get to read this so I can discuss it???

[Bracha Simcha · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is supposed to be based on an actual person, it did not feel like that. This is a fairytale version of sex work. The main character was so unlikeable, and so delusional as what makes a happy, healthy home environment. Private school and brand new clothes and a big family home in the suburbs are not it. If you want to become a sex worker, go for it, I have zero judgement about how she chose to take care of her family. But the reasons and her "justification" of her choosing to become a sex worker is just beyond me.

[Kirsty · Rating 4 out of 5]

If read with an open mind, this is a very interesting read. Dawn was a high class prostitute (if you could call a prostitute high class). She takes us into the world she worked in, and explains the rules and dangerous situations that this world entails. She also tells how it made her feel and why she did it. I read this on recommendation from a friend, and really enjoyed it, however it hasn't changed my views on prostitution.

[Alistair Edwards · Rating 3 out of 5]

I assumed that the life of the sex worker need not always be as seedy as we might often assume. That this book was allegedly written by a 'respectable' middle-class woman who turned to this work for simple financial reasons intrigued me.

In the event, it was interesting and revealing. However, the story was a bit too neat for me to be sure it was entirely non-fiction.

[Sherry Cogburn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oohhh! She's bad....... It is amazing how we humans justify our bad behavior.

[Anna]

Loved the book, could not put it down.

[Angela · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not a believable story. Great FICTION read though. And not easy to identify with the author as she's not a very likable character.

[Ruth Loizides · Rating 2 out of 5]

Touching at times but very self absorbed read

[Karen Jarvis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, found it hard to put down. Would have liked her to just have taken the story a year or so later into her life at the end.

[Kerry Cashman · Rating 2 out of 5]

Just didn't seem believable enough to convince me that it was a memoir.

It was an engaging read but felt fake.

[María Greene F · Rating 3 out of 5]

Entretenida e interesante la autobio, pero también la encontré mentirosilla, y es que no me compro los verdaderos motivos por los que la autora se convirtió en prostituta. Según ella fue porque el marido era flojo y entonces "se vio obligada" a "vender su cuerpo" para "llegar a fin de mes" (sí, me entusiasmé con las comillas, jajaja), pero... no solo elige ya tener SEIS HIJOS, sino que además mantener un nivel de vida alto (aunque ella lo llame medio), que incluye colegios particulares, viajes, la casa propia y hasta el cachorrín de raza.

Entonces, no poh, no seamos hipócritas. La autora se prostituía porque quería y punto. Le gustó lo fácil que se le hicieron las cosas, lo tomó como un trabajo más, y prefirió ir por ese carril. Es válido porque, después de todo, son sus elecciones y es su vida, pero NO es como el subtítulo reza, "el testimonio de una madre que tuvo que vender su cuerpo para salvar a sus hijos". Siempre hay otras opciones y me dio lata que lo vendieran como si no.

Por otro lado, no puedo negar que entiendo el dilema: El comercio sexual es increíblemente bien pagado. Cuando viví en Australia, unos cuantos años atrás, con una amiga nos ofrecieron una cantidad IMPRESIONANTE de plata solo por trabajar en sexo telefónico, y admito que en algún momento lo consideré seriamente... la paga era tan absolutamente espectacular que parecía mentira, y no solo habría podido tener la vida de ricos y famosos en Australia misma, sino que también ahorrar para el futuro. ¡Creo que todavía sería rica!

Sin embargo, al final dije que no. Era tentador, pero no lo necesitaba, y además era riesgoso de todas formas. No solo por poder ser reconocida, sino que por meterme yo a tener una experiencia así. Encontré que no era bueno para mi psiquis. Pero si, en otra vida, en otras circunstancias, sí lo hubiera necesitado, quizá lo hubiera tomado. Pero hablamos de EN VERDAD necesitarlo, onda que la alternativa fuera que todos mis hijos se murieran o algo así. Cosa que no me pasó a mí, ni le pasó a la autora.

En fin, mi amiga sí tomó el trabajo, y yo admito que sentí cierta impresión viendo cómo acumulaba y acumulaba ganancias, solo por tener conversaciones con hombres solitarios y horny. Porque no es mentira lo que cuentan en el libro: la mayoría llamaba más por soledad que por calentura y entonces la pega era relativamente fácil, apenas dejarlos hablar y hacerlos sentir "especiales".

Quién lo hubiera dicho, la experiencia de tercera mano me convirtió en una persona comprensiva, jajaja, y es que tuve compasión por esos señores. Tenían esta compulsión de querer ser románticos y a veces se gastaban lo que no tenían llenando la casa de mi amiga de flores. Con mi amiga les teníamos un poquito de pena: que alguien pagara por por sexo sonaba razonable, pero que lo hicieran por compañía emocional ya era simplemente triste.

En fin, volviendo al libro, me gustó. Es una leída entretenida, pero sería mucho mejor sin todo el discurso redentor moralista y también si fuera realmente cierto lo que cuenta porque, vamos, hay cosas que de todas maneras la autora se fue inventando. Quizá lo hizo para justificar mejor su historia porque, después de todo, siempre supo que en algún momento sus propios hijos iban a llegar a leer su libro.

Si es que existen, claro. Porque por otro lado también tengo mis dudas, y luego en Google no encontré información fehaciente al respecto. Quizá todo fue una chiva peluda de algún editor astuto, jajaja, que supo cómo vender una historia, tras el tópico clásico de "la prostituta del corazón de oro", y ninguna de esas personas en verdad existieron. Aunque de seguro estas cosas sí pasan cada día, aunque con otros nombres.

En fin, no lo recomiendo, ni anti recomiendo aunque sí me gustaron mucho los consejos de salud y seguridad, que son útiles para todas las mujeres y no solo para las del ámbito. Cosas como no andar en la calle con el pelo tomado (para evitar que literalmente te agarren del moño), o con tacones muy altos (para poder correr, si es necesario), son cosas que todas debiéramos hacer, para protegernos en el día diario.

Los hombres también lo hacen, de hecho, cuando aplica. No es casualidad, por ejemplo, que los militares tengan el pelo corto y la barba rasurada: también es para ser menos vulnerables a la hora de un ataque físico. Así que mención especial a esos tips tan adecuados e inteligentes.

[Shelf-Help Therapist · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not bad for a completely random thrift read found in an off-the-beaten-path stationary shop in Barbados.

[Lieselwiesel · Rating 2 out of 5]

a good and almost unbelievable story, but not a good book and many problematic aspects (by which I mean neither prostitution nor abortion, but things like how she doesn’t reflect on poor decisions or her misogyny)

[Neil Kitchin-wilson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was fascinating. I read it years ago and still reference it regularly.

[Adrian Lee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Phew, a heavy read indeed. A story about a mother who would do her best (for me, probably the best that I have ever seen) to make sure her children would be take care of. A story about how a woman got through her journey through broken marriages, shattered family and a quest of finding true love.

Prostitution
Being a hooker is a despicable job? After all it's just a job who satisfies the needs of lonely men and the sex is made upon two consensual adults? Do people aware that there are many mothers who would resort to this option to earn to support her children? Have people treated escorts fairly, as a dignified person?

Family abuse
Family abuse would utterly destroy a child. Did the mothers observe for irregularities of the behaviors of their spouses or their children? Did they suspect anything if they refused to have sex with their husbands? Have they ever thought of what the husbands would seek for for the fulfillment? (Even though you loved him to death?)

Husband roles
I didn't say that the masculine should be 100% responsible for the kids, but I opine that BOTH the parents should have a fair share of responsibility in raising up them. How could you dump all the suffers to your partner while you are being that nonchalant?
Look at what she wrote: "...How inconsequential I was, just one of an endless tide of women down the ages who had, like me, been forced to take up prostitution to make ends meet. In that way, the 21st century was surprisingly unadvanced. Whatever promises men made, whatever the safety net the state supposedly offered, too often women ended up fending for themselves and their children on their own."

Marriages
Back to the cliche, should people get married? Why nice guys (I mean hot, well-off, stable, amicable professionals) are willing to pay for call girls or call boys instead of getting a wife/husband? What people perceive about monogamy marriages? How do they do to maintain the relationship build? Back to the essence, how much they love their partners?
Look at what she wrote: "...It was the risk of the messy personal life that made Sam turn to someone like me. Even the thought of being outed as someone who had sex with a prostitute - a risk he must have considered, he who looked at every angle of a situation for a living - was obviously preferable to him than the daily demands of a relationship and the risk it might all go wrong. I wondered what it was that scarred Sam, left him too scarred to get properly involved. Had his parents divorced? Had he been married before?"

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

I find it hard to review these type of books without succumbing to clichéd observations. However, this memoir in particular has been written with many clichéd descriptions, so it is hard to write it any other way!

Dawn is a hard working married woman with half a dozen children, all privately educated, and has a beautiful home. After running into a devastating financial situation, Dawn decides to turn to the oldest profession in the book, without her husbands knowledge. Her journey keeping up this double life is documented in her memoir; as is the events of when her two worlds collide. I found some parts of the book relentlessly cliched, as previously mentioned. Her first client is, in fact, a very nice security guard who gives her lots of tips about how to keep herself safe from violence. She also meets doctors who advise her about preventing pregnancy and STDs. What are the chances? Her husband is a distantly absent father and husband here. I feel perhaps the authors own shortcomings hindered her ability to be fair towards her husband. I also find it highly unlikely he knew zero about their financial difficulties and left Dawn to suffer alone. Who would do that?

It appears the authors pride is her greatest enemy here. Her reluctance for her children to go without the "basics" such a private education are well documented. Perhaps cynically, I think most people would agree that a private education is not essential to succeed. When she starts struggling to feed her children, that is of course, more acceptable.

Of course there are the abusive clients who put Dawn in serious and very real danger. As such, she ends up in some horrifying situations. The book screamed "too perfect" from start to finish; when I say this I mean everything seems too staged, too A-Z. Things do indeed progress quickly at times, especially when Dawns secret life is discovered, however, for the most part Dawn plods along for months in this other realm, following the same routine.

I read in the news recently this author was found guilty of accusing an unknown man of rape, which was unfounded. She admitted in court she lied about this, while throws the whole question of this memoir into doubt. Only the individual reader can decide what exactly to take as gospel.

[Jenny-Lee · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ok so the writing is poor - that is the smallest issue I had with this book. And ok so a mother finds herself in dire circumstances and has to resort to prostitution to make ends meat for her family- or in Annandale's world, the six children's private education may be compromised and there may not have been veal on the table every tuesday (I marginally exaggerate on the second point). This wasn't my biggest issue either. HOWEVER (and its a big however)my big issue was that I don't buy a word of it. The book is full of cliches and the writing just does not ring true.I'm not calling her a liar(ahem..google her 'rape' case) however she sure as hell isn't honest. If you want to read a true biography about real struggle then don't read this.

[Sabina · Rating 4 out of 5]

A mother who wants to save her home and her children's future..Afraid she could lose everything because of the financial burden, she starts working as an escort.

Having read other true stories about abuse at a very young age, it's really interesting and frightening in the same time to realize that girls/women who have been abused in their childhood or had a difficult family situation, with separated/ drunk parents, are finding this solutions easier to adopt...There are not new to the idea of a sexual contact and can detach themselves from the reality better than a woman who had no such experiences.

[Linda Greene · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book made me have a few mixed feelings. Of course i would never wish that life on anyone, and part of me admires her for that. Yet i feel that perhaps she could have lowered some of her very high standards and still had the happy home she wished for without having to put herself through this. She clearly loves her family and i feel she made the ultimate sacrifice for them, i hope that they know just how much she loves them.

[Joanne West · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a really good read. Its sad, shocking and funny all at the same time.
This ladies tale is incredible, what she has been through and the things she has put herself through most of us would not be able to come close to coping with!
If this book was fiction it would be a good read but the fact that this is the story of one persons life makes it extraordinary.
I hope her life now is more settle and that she is happy and i thank her for sharing this story.

[Diana · Rating 1 out of 5]

Disliked the book. Are we seriously meant to believe this is a true story?